Learning to Improvise… Chapter 6

by Katherine

Josiah did his best not to look at the others. He didn’t fidget, kept his hands still, his back straight, eyes forward most of the time. For the first time he was beginning to appreciate just how easy Ezra made it look to seem nonchalant and at ease. He knew the gambler had to be as nervous or uncomfortable in their presences as one time or another, just as he was now, but it never showed.

The ride to Chris’ ranch seemed interminable. His nervousness communicated itself to Prophet, making the big gelding toss his head uneasily and prance far more than he normally did. Josiah was almost grateful that Prophet was more fractious than normal. It gave him something to concentrate on.

Chris and Buck rode ahead, Lady and Sable moving in step. Josiah’s pensive gaze landed momentarily on the gunslinger. The set of Chris’ shoulders was telling. The man was still angry, but he was controlling it. Josiah was still amazed that Chris hadn’t lashed out physically. He almost wished the man had. It would have been easier to take a beating.

Josiah glanced toward Buck. The tall cowboy’s obvious disappointment in him had hit hard. Buck asked relatively little of people, tending to accept them as they came. It was easy to forget that the man was more than an affable, fun loving sort. Not being able to measure up when someone expected so little and tolerated so much left Josiah feeling like he’d been irreparably diminished. He preferred Chris’ open censure to Buck’s quiet disappointment.

A glance to the right out of the corner of his eye confirmed JD’s presence. The kid rode quietly, something unusual. Normally he and Buck would be talking, laughing and joking with each one another and the others. Despite his silence, Josiah didn’t feel any reproach from him. JD had spoken his piece and the big man knew he that he’d been forgiven, at least conditionally. It all hinged on how he behaved from here on out and on whether or not Ezra and Vin were willing give him another chance and stay in Four Corners. Josiah got the distinct impression that the young sheriff had already come to some sort of decision as to what he’d do in response to either outcome. He found it mildly disconcerting that someone half his age should have such a clear vision of his path.

Nathan rode on his left. Initially, Josiah had been relieved to learn that his long time friend had had some difficulty accepting Vin and Ezra’s relationship. But he’d been insulted and angry on Ezra’s behalf to learn that Nathan had thought the gambler might be using Vin. He was honest enough with himself to admit Nathan’s assumption had been no worse than his own. And Nathan had at least talked to them. Josiah acted before he thought, lashed out before getting all the facts, something he thought he’d outgrown.

Josiah shook his head. Too soon old, too late wise. These thoughts weren’t helping. He knew he was simply avoiding thinking about the coming confrontation. No…no. This is not going to be confrontational. We’ll talk. We’ll work this out.

Josiah took a deep breath, and then another. JD looked over at him, and smiled slightly. The younger man spoke softly. "Josiah, it’ll be okay."

He wished he had JD’s confidence. Well, if I don’t have it, I can always try to fake it. Sometimes it works. Resolutely Josiah squared his shoulders, and lifted his chin. He’d made a mistake. He was going to own up to it, and make up for it.

He unconsciously clenched his jaw as they rode into the ranch yard, uncertain despite his resolve. Ezra and Vin were sitting on the porch, their horses stood in the shade cast by the house, saddles on, but the cinches were loose. Ezra had a deck of cards in his hands, shuffling lazily. Vin was whittling something with his knife. He wasn’t really carving as Chris did, more like simply turning a stick into thin shavings as a way to pass the time.

Chris and Buck stopped their horses in front. Neither man dismounted, but settled themselves more deeply into their saddles. Nathan pulled up slightly, allowing Josiah to precede him. He maneuvered Abe so that he was now on Josiah’s right, next to JD, putting Josiah squarely in the middle.

Ezra patted his cards into place with precise, dexterous movements before slipping the deck into his jacket pocket. He rose smoothly to his feet, adjusting his coat. He tipped his head slightly in acknowledgement. "Gentlemen," Ezra drawled quietly.

The greeting encompassed them all, but his green eyes focused exclusively on Josiah. The big man tried not to shift uneasily under that steady gaze. He didn’t know what the gambler was looking for, but he hoped whatever it was, he found it.

Vin had also risen to his feet, but he hadn’t bothered to sheath the knife. The naked steel made Josiah wonder if Vin no longer felt comfortable in his presence without some sort of weapon in hand. He desperately hoped that was not the case. The tracker might not be as good at throwing knives as Nathan, but he was more than competent when it came to wielding the blade he held. Sort of doubt he’d throw it. Figure he’d be more the sort to skin me alive. And I’m not sure I don’t deserve it for trying to kill him.

Josiah cleared his throat in preparation to apologize, but Ezra spoke before he got could get the words out. "Mr. Larabee, this is your home, you are naturally welcome to make yourself more comfortable." It was a polite invitation to dismount. Green eyes swept over the others. "It would be impudent of me to extend a similar invitation to the rest of you, but," a dimpled grin appeared with a glint of gold flashing in the sun, "I do not think Chris would object to y’all doing likewise as I believe he considers you to be welcomed guests."

Ezra’s gaze returned to Josiah. "Mr. Sanchez, I think we have things to discuss." He cocked his head slightly to study the others again. "I am aware that the rest of you may wish to participate in that discussion, but Vin and I would prefer not to have an audience." A small frown appeared. "I believe we’ve aired enough laundry of late."

Josiah knew this meeting was going to be on their terms or it wouldn’t happen at all. Chris clearly knew it as well. The gunslinger looked toward Vin and received a small nod. He pursed his lips slightly, obviously not happy, but nodded once in return. "If that’s how you want it."

Ezra tipped his head. "Thank you."

Chris dismounted. Buck, Nathan and JD followed suit. Josiah hesitated before reluctantly following suit. Ezra made an elegant gesture with one hand. "Please, Mr. Sanchez. Perhaps we could walk as we talked."

"Don’t go far." Chris ordered, eyes narrowing as the moved from Ezra to Josiah. The former preacher felt himself flush, knowing the admonition to stay close was so Chris and the others were nearby to help if need be.

The gambler raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment. He turned and gestured toward a small stand of trees that shaded the far side of the corral. It wasn’t far, but would provide them with some privacy and they would still be within sight of the house.

"Shall we?" Ezra and Vin walked in step as they headed away from the others. Josiah had no choice but to follow. He noticed that both men were careful to stay at least arms length away from him. He expected them to wait until well out of earshot before speaking but Ezra asked him a question almost immediately.

"You are here to apologize, yes?"

"Yes." Josiah answered firmly. He didn’t want them to doubt that. "What happened the other day…that should never have happened."

"Agreed."

They reached the other side of the corral when Ezra spoke again. His voice was soft, conversational and relayed nothing but idle curiosity. "Which one spoke to you?"

The big man sighed. Pretty sure he’s more than just curious. "They all had something to say."

"Indeed." Ezra didn’t sound surprised. "And which one proved to be the most persuasive in getting you here?"

"JD. He talked to me yesterday morning. ‘Fore the others could say much."

The gambler held out his hand toward Vin, palm up. Vin sighed and withdrew a coin from his pocket. He placed it in Ezra’s palm. Josiah stared, incredulous.

"You bet on that?" He couldn’t decide if he was appalled, insulted or both.

"It was a friendly wager, Mr. Sanchez." Ezra calmly pocketed the coin before pinning him with a disdainful glare. "You should be grateful that I won. Had Vin been the winner, it would have been Chris who spoke to you. In that event, I seriously doubt we’d be having this conversation now."

It would be hard to argue with that statement since Josiah wasn’t entirely convinced Chris still wasn’t itching to shoot him and be done with it. He frowned. "How did you know it would be JD?"

"I didn’t." Ezra shrugged on shoulder. "I had hoped it would be him."

"Why?"

"Because of all of our little troupe he was the least likely to resort to violence." Josiah felt himself warm thinking Ezra might have been concerned for his safety. That feeling dissipated with Ezra’s next statement. "And if anyone is to do you harm, I would prefer that privilege to be reserved for me."

Josiah flinched. He recognized the hard, unforgiving tone. It was the same one Ezra had used in the livery. JD was right about me having to grovel. Just hope its enough.

Clear green eyes met his. "Relax, Mr. Sanchez. I want to know why more than I want retribution."

While not really a question, it was not a request either. The gambler made it perfectly clear that he wanted one or the other and it was up to the big man to choose which one he was prepared to offer. Josiah glanced toward Vin, trying to gauge for what the tracker was thinking. Ice white blue eyes met his unflinching.

"I don’t much care why." Vin’s eyes narrowed. "All that really matters is that don’t happen again and you can keep yer mouth shut." There was no mistaking the chastisement and implied threat. Josiah almost bristled feeling indignation, but the way Vin still gripped the bone handle of his knife, and the feral look in his eyes, had the older man thinking twice.

The sharpshooter nodded and then turned his head to spit. "But Ez wants answers, so you better pony up Preacher." Vin’s use of that title still carried a derogatory sting. "You being sorry ain’t worth a shit if you can’t."

Josiah swallowed hard. He had expected them to be angry, but he was honestly not prepared for this degree. Somewhere in the back of his mind he had pictured explaining things to them much the way he had to JD, and that all would be forgiven. That they would understand, see his side of things and let it go. He envisioned them going home and having things return to normal.

Home. You made them think they had to leave the one place either of them has likely felt comfortable in a long time. Nathan told me Ezra ready to simply ride away with no more than the clothes on his back. Vin with nothing more than a quiet goodbye. And you wonder why they are still pissed with you? Why they are so determined to know the reasons for what you did? Josiah, you are a fool. And you have much to answer for.

He took a deep breath and turned to face both men squarely. Ezra waited, hands hanging loosely at his side, face impassive and unreadable. Vin leaned against one of the corral posts, has posture relaxed and easy, but ready. He still hadn’t sheathed the knife. Josiah tried not to see significance in that.

He started out by explaining what he thought when he saw them together. He stuttered, fighting to get out how much Ezra reminded him of Aaron, of the fate of his son, and how harmless his desire to recapture that connection had seemed. At least until he made such a monumental mistake.

Ezra halted his slow but steady process by raising his hand. His expression was still unreadable, but Josiah didn’t think he looked quite as distant, as remote has he had when he’d started speaking. The gambler asked softly, "How old was Aaron when he…was murdered?"

Josiah bit his lip. He’d started this so he didn’t feel he could refuse. He knew nothing less than full disclosure would fix the mess he made, if it could still be fixed. So even though it pained him, he doggedly fought to reply. Taking a deep breath he answered. "Aaron was sixteen."

The cardsharp nodded slowly. "I am…flattered, very flattered, that you should see similarities between myself and someone you held so near and dear." A compassionate expression graced his features briefly before green eyes narrowed studying Josiah intently. "But you are cognizant of the fact that I am not and never will be a substitute for the child you lost?"

"I know." Josiah stated earnestly. He wanted Ezra to believe him. He also wanted to move, pace and wave his hands in the air, anything to release some tension. He knew the others were watching from the porch and he wasn’t sure how well sudden, agitated movements on his part by them, or the two in front of him, would be received so he forced himself to remain still.

"Ezra…I know you aren’t Aaron." God but I know that. No matter what wild fantasy I might have harbored, I do know that. "It was just that I was thinking of him. I was thinking about how you seem so much alike in many ways…and for a moment I forgot that you aren’t a child in need of a father, in need of protection."

"Seems ta me you and Ez talked about this son thing before." Vin snorted. Josiah winced clearly, remembering the lengths Ezra had gone to, to stop him from referring to him by the appellation ‘son’. "You sure you ain’t gonna suffer this delusion again?"

"Very sure." Josiah’s jaw tightened. "It won’t happen again."

When the tracker would have said something more, Ezra laid a hand on his arm. Blue eyes met green and Josiah felt like an entire conversation took place without a single word being uttered. Vin’s jaw tightened and Ezra shook his head. When Ezra spoke his voice was soft. "There is more and I want to hear the rest. Castigating him about this is unwarranted and will prevent that."

To his amazement, rather than argue Vin tipped his head in a gesture of acquiescence. Sort of expected him to fight Ezra on that, to take me to task for making the same mistake not once, but twice where Ezra is concerned. Vin seems a mite more interested in retribution than explanations. Not that I can blame him. Just didn’t expect them to be able to agree that quickly with so little being said. They are just seem too different for them to see things the same way.

Josiah knew his face had to have shown his surprise when Ezra arched an eyebrow sardonically. "We are capable of reaching agreement without coming to fisticuffs, or childish displays of temper. We can and often do agree on what is important." Josiah flushed slightly feeling the full effect of that gentle reprimand, and wondering not for the first time how it was Ezra could read people so easily.

Ezra made a gesture with one hand as though he were erasing something written on a blackboard. "Back to the matter at hand."

The gambler regarded Josiah for a moment. "You may have initially been mistaken by a father’s fervent wish to be there for his son. A laudable position, one that I don’t doubt, but nor do I claim to fully understand. And while that error may have been initial justification for your actions, the rest of your brutal physical and verbal assault went far beyond such."

The former preacher licked his lips, and nodded. There was no point in denying it. Ezra will know I’m lying. And if he didn’t I’m fairly certain Vin would. That boy has an uncanny ability to spot a lie. Maybe because he tells so few.

Realizing his thoughts got him nowhere and only made the other two impatient, Josiah took a deep breath. His next revelation was going to be a bit tricky. He wasn’t sure how they would take it, but he knew staying quiet was not an option.

He offered up a silent prayer as he explained how he’d been envious of the closeness Vin had with Ezra. The tracker had managed to establish the sort of rapport Josiah wanted. They had the sort of camaraderie that allowed them to share secrets and laughter; made it obvious that in spite of their differences they were good friends and more than just fellow peacekeepers. He was quick to state that he didn’t object to their friendship, saw nothing wrong with it. He was pleased Ezra had that sort of closeness with someone even though it wasn’t him. But when he thought Vin was throwing away something he’d give his right arm to have, a priceless treasure lost to indulge in a moment of carnal passion, it just added fuel to an already raging fire.

Vin regarded him steadily. "You really thought I’d take advantage of Ezra bein’ my friend? Betray his trust like that?" The hurt and disappointment in those questions was easy to read.

Josiah sighed. The diminished feeling Buck had engendered hitting him again. He realized anew just how insulting what he’d said had to be to a man like Vin. A man who considered himself to be honorable, who respected the rights of others, actively defended and cared for those he considered friends.

"I wasn’t thinking clearly." Josiah mumbled.

"Don’t sound like you were thinking at all." Vin rolled his eyes. "I know I’m just some savage heathen that can’t control himself, but shit…Josiah, I’ve never given you cause ta think I’d force myself on someone. That’d I hurt Ezra."

Josiah winced when his own words were thrown back at him. He wondered if that moment of stupidity was going to haunt him for the rest of his life. Lord but I hope not.

Ezra pursed his lips slight, frown lines appearing on his forehead. "Did you really think me incapable of reading other’s motives? That I would be taken in so easily? So bloody helpless?" There was an uncertainty to those question, as if Ezra was trying to gauge if he had perhaps failed in some way and caused Josiah to misjudge him so badly.

Josiah shook his head, and held up a hand. He looked at Vin first. "Vin, I know you wouldn’t hurt Ezra. I know that. Even if you weren’t," he cleared his throat, "a couple, I know you wouldn’t hurt a friend. You’re not the sort of man to force himself on another. You wouldn’t take something not freely given."

He shifted his gaze to Ezra. "Ezra, I know you can read people. Probably better at than any of us." He felt himself flush again, but forced himself to maintain eye contact. "And I realize you are fully capable of defending yourself." His expression turned rueful. "You’ve made that point…more than once." Twice now he’s pointed a gun at me…not sure I’ll survive a third time. Have to make damn sure there isn’t a next time.

Josiah shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "I just," he held both hands out, palms up, "I was just reacting, not thinking. There was so much going on that I didn’t really work out why I did what I did until I spent most of the night thinking about it." He raised a hand to wearily rub at his eyes. "I’m not even certain how much of what happened had to do with you…and how much was about me."

Vin and Ezra exchanged another look. Josiah waited, unsure if he should say more, or quiet while he was ahead. After a moment Ezra spoke. "You’ve explained your physical actions and I think we both understand."

Josiah didn’t know what to make of that neutral statement. He couldn’t tell if Ezra and Vin accepted his explanation, finding the detail sufficient to warrant forgiveness or not. So he waited for more. It wasn’t long in coming.

"But you have yet to address the verbal." The tone clearly indicated that Ezra wanted more information, and didn’t believe Josiah had made a full disclosure. When he spoke again Ezra’s tone was gentle, but insistent. "Words are like weapons Mr. Sanchez and are capable of inflicting wounds. While you may not have been thinking clearly, there is no denying your words were obviously intended to insult and castigate."

Josiah bit his lip. Courtesy of his father, Josiah knew firsthand just how much damage words could do. He belatedly realized that Vin and Ezra were probably more upset over his characterization of them as users and helpless respectively, his declaration of them as an abomination than they were at his attempt to strangle the tracker.

"You know about my sister, Hannah." Vin and Ezra both nodded. If either man was surprised by his non sequitur they didn’t show it. Josiah continued speaking. "Our father had a part to play in her being where she is. And in some ways, so did I."

He tried to explain what it was like growing up with a preacher for a father, one who breathed fire and brimstone at every opportunity, who spewed hatred and intolerance like it was a divine mission. Josiah wanted them to understand how hard he worked to not be like that. How much he wanted not to have such a limited a focus, to be a better man than his father. To the end, he’d left home, wanting to leave behind the narrow-minded view of his father, and unwittingly abandoning his sister at the same time.

"Until recently, I didn’t realize how much of my life has been geared toward proving I’m not like him. And then…" Josiah snorted in self-derision. "Then I find myself spouting the same sort of brutal, unforgiving rhetoric he would have. The same insults he would have used. I even quoted the same passage from the Bible." The big man shook his head, eyes on the ground, unable to meet the pair in front of him. "He loved the Book of Leviticus."

"Josiah?"

He tried not to start when Ezra used his first name and not his last. "Yes?"

"Do you honestly believe Vin and I are an abomination?"

"No." Josiah stated clearly, making eye contact and holding it. "No." He repeated it, wanting there to be no misunderstanding. "I never should have said that and I didn’t mean it. I am sorry. So very sorry. "

Ezra closed his eyes and let his breath out slowly. Josiah realized that the younger man had not until just that moment honestly believed Josiah meant to apologize. He got a similar feeling from Vin. It went a long way to explaining the tracker’s hostility and Ezra’s cold reserve.

Ezra took a deep breath and opened his eyes. "Much of this could have been avoided." His lips curled in a sad smile. "A statement, I suspect is true of many a misunderstanding."

Misunderstanding? Josiah didn’t honestly think that word was entirely accurate, thinking something a bit stronger was likely to be more apt, but he was willing to go with it. Especially since that description categorized what happened between them as something so simple, something so easy to rectify. He hoped Ezra’s use of ‘misunderstanding’ would be prophetic.

"We had intended to tell you about our relationship, but…" the gambler made a helpless gesture with his hands. "It would seem that we did not find the right words soon enough."

Josiah frowned slightly. It bothered him that they felt the need to ‘find the right words’. "Did you think I would not accept you?" He winced belatedly realizing his reaction two days ago might well have served as an answer to that question.

Vin shrugged. He answered the question, either not noticing or ignoring Josiah’s wince. "Didn’t know how you’d react."

The tracker finally moved to sheath the knife he’d been holding. "Ain’t had much luck predictin’ which way people will jump. Sort o’ gave up trying to figure it out ‘fore hand."

"JD said the others asked you."

Ezra tipped his head acknowledging the question hidden within that statement. "It seemed prudent to let others approach us rather than for us to test the depth of the water with both feet, if you will."

Ezra shrugged. Josiah couldn’t help thinking that the movement was somehow too graceful and precise to be something so mundane. "Not being able to predict the outcome made us understandably hesitant to take such a risk."

Josiah’s frown deepened. "But you were thinking of telling me?"

Another shrug. "As the last of our group, the only one not aware that Vin and I are a couple, it was suggested that perhaps we should not wait for you to ask, but rather to take the initiative."

Josiah pursed his lips, startled by that revelation. None of the others had mentioned that. "Who--"

"JD." Vin answered. "He thought you might feel like we left ya out on purpose."

Josiah nodded. He had felt left out when he learned that others knew before he did. He thought that Vin and Ezra had chosen to confide in them rather than him perhaps because they didn’t trust him, didn’t hold him in the same regard as the others and that thought hurt. But in talking with JD and Nathan he realized it wasn’t deliberate on their part. He was ashamed by how unobservant he’d been. That he’d managed to overlook the obvious for so long. That is never occurred to him to simply extend that common courtesy of asking what he wanted to know. Maybe it wasn’t too late to do so.

"So…how long have you been a couple?"

"Around six months."

Josiah blinked at Vin’s characteristically short answer. It said so much without saying much at all. They’ve been together THAT long. I never thought…didn’t expect...figured it was only a little while. He glanced toward Ezra. The gambler raised an eyebrow at his look but didn’t comment.

Vin smirked, his eyes holding a dark humor. "Surprised?"

It never occurred to him to lie. "Yes." The big man shook his head. "I hadn’t realized I’d been so blind."

"You would not be the first man guilty of seeing only what he wished to see." Ezra stated. "I dare say my chosen profession depends on the ability of others to delude themselves."

"Only the others," Josiah gestured to where the rest of the peacekeepers sat or stood on the porch watching them, "and Nettie know?"

"So far only Mrs. Welles and our compatriots have seen fit to ask." Ezra made a vague, meaningless gesture with one hand. "But that is not to say that others may not have observed some unintended revealing gesture or statement on our part that disclosed the nature of our relationship. It merely means that we can only know for certain about those who have come forward to seek confirmation."

Josiah gaped at him. "You can’t be…Don’t you realize how dangerous it could be for you if the town knew!!?" He cast a wary glance toward the porch realizing his raised voice might bring down the wrath of the others. He could see them shifting restlessly, feel their intense gazes, but so far they hadn’t moved any closer. He turned his attention back to Ezra and Vin.

"Certainly we are aware of the danger." Ezra’s tone was mild, relaxed.

Both the younger men seemed entirely to calm about this for Josiah’s liking. He growled. "You can’t count on them to help you, to stand by you, to defend you—"

Ezra held up a hand. "Mr. Sanchez, in the year and a half I have lived in Four Corners the demographics have changed little. The same people reside here who permitted Stephen Travis to be gunned down in the street. They allowed the same fate to befall Owen Potter. Their inaction left two widows and three children without fathers. They blithely watched as their chosen sheriff was summarily executed. They did nothing when the honorable Judge Travis was wounded. And they stood idly by and let those cowboys try to hang Nathan."

Ezra shook his head. "My fondness for this community and the people who reside in it has not made me blind to their shortcomings. To be honest, I never expected much from them. And I still don’t."

Josiah felt his eyebrows climb, but before he had the chance to respond, Vin was speaking, picking up where Ezra had left off. "Thing is, Josiah, none of us ever really counted on the town folk for much of anythin’." Vin bit his lower lip, his expression something Josiah could only describe as apologetic honesty.

"Only people we could ever trust to watch our back is each other." The tracker made small movement with his hand to let Josiah know that ‘each other’ encompassed all the peacekeepers. "It’s us all workin’ together that’s kept us alive this long. Made it so we could beat the odds when by all rights we ought ta be pushin’ up daisies."

Josiah suddenly realized why they were so ready to leave. It hadn’t been just his violet reaction, but also what his hostility meant in terms of the group’s cohesion. The risk it represented to the others if they did not have that unified front was very real. Something they all had ample opportunity to be conscious of. He grimaced, realizing that he’d lost sight of that.

Not knowing how the townspeople might react to an obvious schism among them was a wild card that Josiah knew Ezra and Vin had no desire to bet on. Given what Ezra had said just a moment ago, Josiah couldn’t see himself doing it either. Funny that I never really thought about it before now. Just took it for granted that since we were the wolves hired to protect the flock there was never any reason to rely on the town. But then we had to be able to rely on each other for that to work.

He hung his head, no longer able to look at the younger men. Lord, what do I say? I didn’t just betray them…but the others…even myself. Josiah took a deep breath and tried to find the right words. He swallowed hard and realized the only words that came to mind were decidedly inadequate. Still, with nothing else to say, he offered them, "I am sorry."

He was startled when he felt a hand touch his shoulder. Josiah hadn’t seen or heard Ezra move. The cardsharp smiled softly.

"You have already apologized." Ezra cocked his head to one side. "Although, I think you are only beginning to understand the true extent of your trespass."

"How do I fix it?" Josiah asked, trying hard not to sound as plaintive as he felt.

"Your apology was well meant and has been accepted." Green eyes met his blue. "Now you have to live up to it." Another graceful shrug answered his confused expression. "Let your actions prove your words. You say you do not believe us to be an abomination, then prove it and act as our friend. You say you are aware of the danger posed by those who might be less tolerant, then mind your tongue and respect our need for appearances of propriety. You understand the inherent danger in there being a permanent rift among us, so do your best not to create one and we will do likewise."

Josiah nodded. He held himself still when Ezra patted his arm and walked away heading for the porch and the others. Vin gave him a hard look, blue eyes measuring him from head to toe.

"You made a mistake. We all got a chance to make one." Vin’s voice was whisper soft, but carried easily. "Don’t make another."

Again there was the threat of retribution, but Josiah was not offended. He understood the reason for it. Finally began to appreciate the full measure of his error. JD was right. He wouldn’t get another second chance and he honestly didn’t think he’d deserve one if he messed up this badly again. And even though it was not stated openly, he had no doubt that he’d be watched critically for some time. Not by just Vin, but Chris and Buck as well. Nathan and JD might be less inclined to critique is every move, but Josiah wasn’t convinced of that.

Vin moved to follow Ezra. Josiah was pained to note that the tracker continued to keep distance between them. At least Ezra had gotten within arms length. Apparently Vin was not yet ready to forgive the physical assault he experienced at Josiah’s hands. The big man had just been able to make out the deep bruises on Vin’s neck partially hidden by his bandana. He suspected that Vin was likely to persist in being standoffish long after those marks faded and he really couldn’t blame him.

Josiah sighed and squared his shoulders. Ezra said to prove myself; let my actions speak louder than my words. Okay. I can do that. And if I’m going to do it then I guess I better get started.

He took a deep breath. Josiah headed toward the house, ready to face the others. Despite the fact that Vin and Ezra had left him separately they still managed to arrive together. They stood shoulder to shoulder, relaxed and easy as they faced the others. Josiah was close enough to hear Chris ask Ezra if they’d gotten things straightened out.

Ezra tipped his head. "I believe we have reached a satisfactory conclusion."

JD frowned, dark eyes moving from Ezra to Vin. He glanced to Josiah and back to them. "That mean you are staying?"

"Yes, JD, that means we are staying."

The young sheriff broke into a wide grin. Buck did too. "Hot damn!" The ladies man slapped his thigh as he straightened from where he’d been leaning against one of the pillars. "That’s good to hear."

Ezra smiled. "Indeed."

"You two going to head back now?" Nathan asked quietly from where he still sat in the rocking chair.

"Yep." Vin answered.

Chris pointed to Buck with his chin. "Buck you got patrol. Best get to it." He looked toward Ezra. "You’ve got your usual shift tonight." His glance flickered toward the sky. "If you leave now, pretty sure you can make it back in time to catch a nap in that feather bed of yours." A brief spark of humor glowed in his eyes. "I know how poorly you sleep when you have to tuck in on the ground."

Ezra’s lips curled in a small smile, green eyes meeting the gunslinger’s dark blue-gray counterparts. Something passed between them, and Josiah suspected it was genuine amusement from Ezra and comfortable acceptance or understanding from Chris. He fervently prayed that some day he and Ezra would share similar looks. It will just take some time and effort. And Lord knows I’m no stranger to that.

Vin nudged Ezra with his shoulder. He pointed toward their horses with his chin. The two had their cinches tightened and mounted with their usual ease and grace. Josiah wasn’t really surprised by how eager the younger men were to get back to town. What did strike him was how normal the conversation seemed. It was almost surreal given the past few days. He still felt a bit uneasy, uncertain, but nothing like how he’d felt on the ride out.

Buck had already mounted Lady, ready to head out on patrol. The tall cowboy tipped his hat to Vin and Ezra. "You two save me a place at the table. We’ll have us a drink when I get back."

"Certainly." Ezra saluted with two fingers, and Vin did likewise. Ezra’s eyes swept the others, encompassing Josiah as well. "Gentlemen, we bid you adieu."

"We’ll see ya back in town boys." Vin seconded with a tip of his head.

Josiah felt his spirit lift immeasurably to be included in those casual goodbyes. Ezra touched his heels to Chaucer and Vin set Peso in motion, both taking off at a trot headed for town. Josiah felt Chris’ eyes on him and turned to face him.

"You got JD’s shift in town this afternoon."

Josiah stared for a moment, surprised. He had expected another warning, or chastise of some sort. Should have known better. Chris asked Ezra if it was settled, and Ezra said yes. Chris would take his word for it. And he’s already spoken his piece on the issue. He’s not the sort to waste words by repeating himself.

The big man nodded, accepting the assignment. The young sheriff had certainly done more than his share lately. And Josiah welcomed the chance to get back on an even footing again.

"Let’s get back to town. Left it unattended long enough." Chris headed for his horse and the others followed suite.

Josiah found himself once more riding between JD and Nathan, with Chris slightly ahead, but still with them. The pace Chris set was sedate. Although nothing was said they all knew that he was deliberately giving Vin and Ezra a chance to get back to town well ahead of them. The big man realized it was the least they could do for the couple. He nodded to himself. Chris might have been joking, but he was right about Ezra not sleeping well when outside. Don’t imagine he will object to a chance to get back to his feather bed. Damn glad we got this more or less settled so he’s got that to go back to. It took him a moment but Josiah smiled when he realized that Vin likely enjoyed Ezra’s bed as much as the gambler did.

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