When Push Comes to Shove

by Luna Dey and Glori

Part of the Just When You Thought... collection.

Author’s Note: This is what happens when you turn Glori and me both loose late at night, with thoughts of Mag 7 guys and our sleep deprived minds. It is definitely a PWP piece, based solely on a conversation overheard by Ezra and Mary.

Disclaimer: I do not own them. They are the property of MGM, Mirisch, and Trilogy Entertainment; however, if they ever come up for sale, I will be in the front row at the auction.

Feedback: Feedback is welcome and greatly appreciated, but no flames please.

Completed 10-24-02

Ezra sighed as he headed toward the jail. He hated this early evening shift almost as much as he hated early morning, but for a different reason. This evening shift cut into his time a the poker table, and he felt the effects in his wallet, but Chris Larabee had made it crystal clear that he had to take his shifts the same as everyone else did.

He almost jumped when he heard Mary speak from behind him. "Ezra?" He turned to face her as she continued to speak. "Do you know if Chris is at the jail? I would like to ask him some questions about the prisoner for the paper."

"I am uncertain as to Mr. Larabee's whereabouts; however, I would be pleased to accompany you. It would appear that we both have the same destination in mind."

The two chatted softly as they made their way down the dark boardwalk. The sound of wood creaking nearby caused them to pause and listen more intently. It didn't sound like the boards of the boardwalk when they creaked. They heard it again and noticed Vin's wagon shift slightly from movement inside. Ezra and Mary glanced at each other sheepishly, both were embarrassed that they had overreacted.

"It appears that Mr. Tanner is in residence," Ezra said in a very low voice, but before either could comment their attention was pulled to the wagon as it wobbled again, and a familiar voice caused both jaws to drop.

"Vin, hold still. How do you expect me to hit that little hole in the dark if you keep moving around?"

"Well, I wouldn't have to keep shiftin' if ya weren't leanin' so hard on me," Vin retorted.

"If you hadn't been too embarrassed to come up to my room, there would be more room to maneuver." Chris sounded slightly agitated.

"But Chris, I couldn't go walkin' through town with it just stickin' out like that. Everyone in town woulda known."

Chris's voice softened. "Vin, if you had just acted like nothin' was wrong, probably no one would have noticed."

Tanner snorted. "Like hell they wouldn't have noticed. It was stickin' straight out most of a foot."

"Okay, so someone would have seen it. It is nothing to be ashamed of."

"Easy fer you to say."

Ezra finally managed to close his mouth and was thankful that Mary couldn't see him blush as he felt the heat rise in his cheeks. He wasn't sure what to do. This wasn't something for a lady to be hearing, but he didn't want to alert the occupants of the wagon to their presence either. He glanced at Mary who had her hand to her mouth. She stared wide-eyed at the wagon as it rocked again, but it was apparent that she had no intention of moving away.

"Ow! That hurt!" Vin complained.

"Sorry, Vin. I thought if I tried to shove it in fast it would work better."

"Well it didn't!"

There was a moment of silence from the wagon before Chris spoke up again. "This isn't working this way. We need to try something else."

"Well, Cowboy, I'm outta ideas. I've never done this before. Have you?"

Chris cleared his throat and sighed heavily. "Yeah, I have, but only once."

"So, how did you do it that time?"

Outside on the boardwalk, Ezra lightly touched Mary's arm. She jumped slightly at the contact. He leaned closer to whisper. "Mrs. Travis, this is not something for a Lady to witness. Perhaps we should. . ."

His protest was cut short by a shake of Mary's head, and she whispered back. "Ezra, I have been married so I am not an innocent." She could feel the heat in her cheeks as she spoke. "I admit that my curiosity has gotten the better of me. I. . . I never suspected that Chris or Vin would do this."

"Nor did I, Mrs. Travis. Nor did I." Secretly he was glad she didn't want to leave and that he could satisfy his own curiosity without admitting it to anyone.

The silence inside the wagon was finally broken. "It was kind of awkward, but I finally found a way that worked pretty well."

"So how? Just tell me what to do."

"Okay, get down on your knees in front of me."

"Like this?"

"Now hold real still until I can get it in. Easy, Vin. . . you have to hold still. There!!"

"Oh, that's good."

"Just gonna ease it in a bit farther."

"Uh. . . what should I do?"

"Just keep steady so I don't pull it back out. Let me do the rest." The wagon creaked as the occupants shifted inside. "Ahhh. . . it's in as far as it will go."

"Okay, Pard, I'm ready. . . uh… Chris?"

"What, Vin? In case you can't tell, I'm a bit busy here."

"Just wondering why you're tugging on that."

Chris groaned slightly before he explained. "So I can tell when it is going to come out."

"But, it might explode in yer hand, if ya keep doin' that."

"Vin. . . "


"Shut up and let me worry about that."

"Fine, just hope you know what yer doin'."

Chris grunted and gasped slightly. "There, I felt something. Did you feel that?"

"Yeah, I could feel it movin'."

"Oh yeah, just a little more."

"Maybe if you wiggle it around some, it might work better," Vin suggested.

"What do you think I've been doing? There . . . did you feel that?"

"Sure did. . . Yeah. . . just about there. . .Just a little more."

"Come on. . . let it go. . . " Chris groaned.

"Ohhh. Chris, I think you got it. That feels good right there."

The wagon creaked almost continuously now as the occupants shifted around inside. But neither observer was prepared for the sight of Chris Larabee, gunfighter extraordinaire, as he tumbled out the back of Vin Tanner's wagon to land unceremoniously on his backside in the dirt.

Tanner stuck his head out and grinned when he saw Chris sitting there looking in stunned silence at the stick he held up in his hand. "Hey, it worked. You got it out." He grinned even wider when he held up his hand to reveal the shotgun cartridge that had been lodged inside the barrel of the gun. "This just popped right out once you got that stick unstuck."

"No kidding," Chris grumbled as he rose to his feet. "But next time you want to go shoving a stick somewhere, ask me about it first."

"Sure, but why would I need to do that?" Vin asked.

"Because I know just the place to tell you to shove it."

The End