ATF Universe
Disclaimer: Not mine, never were, never will be.
Note: The idea came, the story wrote itself. Thanks to Kerry for the beta work - speedy as ever.
"Where the hell is he?"Several heads in the ER reception turned as the fiery blond ran in.
"Now, Chris," Josiah approached hands out in an effort to pacify his friend and boss.
"Don't you 'now Chris me' preacher, where the fuck is he?" he demanded again.
"Just calm down, yer scaring the kids." Larabee glanced around to see that he did indeed have an audience and some of them were very young. "We just have to wait, this way." Josiah took hold of Chris' arm and all but dragged him off to the small waiting room at the side.
Chris pulled his arm free and turned on Sanchez. "Ok so now I'm here, tell me what happened."
"I don't know, JD called me and said there had been some kind of accident at the rodeo and Buck was headed here in an ambulance, he and Vin are coming once they have the horse taken care of. Ezra's out of town - as you know, so is Nate, he and Rain went to see her sister at the last minute."
"You didn't answer my question, where is Buck now?"
"X-ray."
"Oh Jesus. That’s it. I'm gonna kill him. We agreed, he promised, no more rodeos, he's too old for that shit, we talked and he agreed to just watch this time, let the youngsters get on with it. I'm gonna kill him!"
"Chris you don't know what happened, don't jump to conclusions."
"Oh I know alright, he saw Vin riding them broncs and he wanted in on the action. What's wrong with him - busted shoulder? Ribs?"
"I don't know, I only just got here myself. Vin call your cell did he?"
Chris was beginning to calm down. "Yeah, got the message as soon as I landed, came straight here. Fucking, macho, idiot! Why can't he just grow up? Is that too much to ask? Why does he always have to act like he's still twenty one?"
"Buck is how he is, you know him better than any of us, do you really want him to change?" Josiah had sat down on one of the low, vinyl covered chairs, hoping if he got Chris to sit as well the man would calm down a little. He understood the rage; it was easier to be angry than give in the fear. Buck and Chris were now more than just lovers, they were 'life partners' in the truest sense of the term. If Chris lost Buck, it would kill him as surly as a bullet to the brain. "You know he isn't irresponsible, oh he hides it well, but that man is no kid and you and I both know that. But he does love life, isn't that part of what you love?"
Chris wanted to deny it, but he couldn't, he never had been able to lie to the big, part-time preacher. He loved all of Buck, every childish prank, every flirtation, every exaggerated story, every brag, every overprotective, big hearted, loud, crude, smart mouthed, bit of him, all seventy five inches - most of them leg. But he was still angry, because he felt betrayed. They had discussed the local amateur rodeo, where Vin and JD were entered in the team roping and Vin in the bronc riding. Buck reckoned he still had it, even though he hadn't done more than the odd calf-roping event in years. In his youth, and Chris' for that matter, he'd been a very successful amateur at local rodeos, the two of them had been a roping team, and as well as calf roping he'd ridden broncos and even bull wrestled. But rodeo was a young man's game, older bones broke more easily, older muscles didn't stretch as far as young ones. Admittedly - as Buck pointed out - thirty-nine wasn't old, even forty one wasn't that old, not in the real world, but rodeo wasn't the real world, never had been, never would be. It was a world were young men took absurd risks, for little or even no reward other than adulation, doing things no sane person would ever consider, no matter how much you paid them. He knew his partner wanted to have a few more moments of glory in the ring, but he couldn't bear it, it was bad enough that their job put him in danger, to have him risking his life for not good reason just seemed crazy. On some level, Chris knew that Buck worried as much about him as he did Buck, but Buck seemed better able to accept the danger and deal with it. But then, other than the loss of his mother, Buck had never lived through the agony of losing his family; he had never lost the other half of his soul.
"Yeah," Chris finally admitted. "But damn it Josiah, he promised me, he said he wouldn't do it. I knew he wanted to, but he agreed not to - now look what's happened."
"We don't know what happened, not yet, why don't you stop condemning him and wait until you know the truth, why…"
Just as Sanchez was about to ask why he always assumed the worse of his lover, a nurse popped her head around the door. "Wilmington?" she asked.
"Yes!" Chris spun around were he was.
"Oh good, next of kin?"
"Me. What's wrong? Where is he?" Chris was now advancing on the poor young woman the same way he would some rogue arms dealer.
"Um sir, Mr Wilmington's doctor want's to speak to you, if you could come with me?" the nurse backed away as fast as she could and simply trusted that the seriously scary man would follow her, which he did.
The doctor proved to be an elderly man of Japanese origin. He introduced himself as Dr Fuwakawa. Unintimidated by Chris, he calmly explained that Buck had suffered a penetrating chest injury, three broken ribs, a collapsed lung, lost a lot of blood and acquired a fine collection of bruises, cuts and grazes. He was on his way to the OR and they could go and wait in the surgery waiting room. In answer to Chris' questions he explained that he didn't know exactly what happened, but since the patient came from a rodeo and having seen the injury he would hazard a guess that it was caused by a horn.
"We didn't get much information from the paramedics, but there was something about wrestled a bull," the doctor added. "So that would fit with his injuries."
"Fuck!"
"Chris," Josiah warned. "It isn't the doctor's fault, come on."
Even as he was walking to the elevator Chris was muttering darkly. "Fucking bull wrestling, he always loved that I wasn't heavy enough do that mad shit. See? This is why I told him not to do it, he never got gouged when we were riding, he's gotten too out of practice. Mad, stubborn, stupid, idiot."
Josiah hadn't missed the 'I told him'. He had been afraid that the 'discussion' about Buck's riding, had been somewhat one sided. Nor did he miss that even now, angry and scared as he was, Chris didn't accuse Buck of pride. While Wilmington was a proud man, he wasn't a prideful one. They were almost at the elevators.
"Chris?"
"What?"
"I'm gonna wait down here for Vin and JD, okay?"
"What? Oh, oh okay, yeah probably a good idea."
<><><><><><><>
While there was a fast staff turn over in ER, in surgery, where the pace of life was less manic, the staff stayed longer, so the nurse at the duty station recognised Chris.
"Mr Larabee?"
"Um, yes."
"I thought I recognised you, last time I saw you your friend Vin was here, broken ankle I believe."
Chris didn't recognise her, but then he rarely took the time to get to know the myriad of usually faceless people who just kept his world running, nurses, secretaries, clerks, security guards. He just concentrated on getting the job done, that was what he was good at. He relied on Buck to get to know people. Damn it, Buck would know her name, probably her home phone number, marital status and vital statistics as well! He'd taken a little time to get used to the idea that no matter how committed his gregarious lover was to their relationship, Buck was never going to stop flirting, not with men and certainly not with women - all women, almost all the time, he just couldn't help it. Once he gave his heart, Buck gave it 110%, he would never cheat on Chris, no matter what, but he didn't see flirting as cheating, and could no more stop doing it than he could stop breathing. It was the way he interacted with the world around him, and it had proved useful in their work more than once, women would tell Buck things they would normally only tell their best friend.
"Who is it this time?"
"Wha…?" Chris hadn't even realised she was still speaking.
"Who's in theatre?"
"Oh, Buck."
She frowned. "Buck, Buck Wilmington?"
"Yeah."
Her frowned deepened to concern. "But he's…"
"Mine," Chris growled, though in truth he wasn't even aware he had said it out loud.
"Yes I know."
"You do?"
"Well yes, of course, you only have to look at you two to see that, I mean I know Buck was flirting with me…"
Naturally!
"…but it's easy to see you two are a couple. No what I meant was, he's not on my list."
"Not on the list, but he…" Chris' voice as rising, fear driving him to anger again.
"Wait, just let me…" She tapped furiously at the computer for a few moments. "Ah, there he is, damn computers, what's wrong with paper and pencil I say?"
Chris snorted his agreement.
"He's in 4, Dr Lawson is the lead surgeon, with Dr Lopez assisting, Dr Lawson is our chief surgeon and Lopez is a real high flyer, he couldn't be in better hands, honestly. Looking at this he's gonna be there a couple of hours at least." She looked up from her screen, relieved to see the blond was looking a little less scary.
"I'll wait."
"I thought so, waiting area's down there." She pointed to the left. "I'll come get you as soon as I know anything." He started walking. "Oh, Mr Larabee?" she called after him.
"Yeah?" He stopped to respond but didn't look around. "The coffee machine, it’s innocent you know."
Taking a long deep breath and casting his eyes heavenward, Chris slowly turned. "Thanks, sorry, you've been very helpful, and please, call me Chris."
She smiled. "No problem Chris, call me Jan."
Jan! Yes of course, that was it.
<><><><><><><>
Josiah paced in reception. He still wanted to know exactly what happened, but it did sound like Buck had indeed been bull wrestling, which considering he hadn't done it in at least five years was pretty irresponsible and dangerous, as his current location proved. He'd just got himself a coffee then the two youngest team members walked in, both looking a little the worse for wear. JD was filthy, with smears and smudges of dirt covering most of his left side, tip to toe, while Vin wasn't as dirty, he was cradling his left arm in a makeshift sling fashioned from his bandanna.
Deceptively fast strides took Sanchez across the crowded area to intercept his two friends.
"What the hell's been going on?" he asked, casting a critical eye over both of them. "Where have you been?"
"We had to get the horses taken care of first. Pete Gates from down the road will bring them home if I don't get back," JD explained. "How's Buck?"
"In surgery, Chris is waiting upstairs. I still want to know what happened." Josiah wasn't worried that Tanner hadn't spoken, if someone else was happy to do the talking the quiet Texan was always happy to let them, but he was looking rather pale. "But let's get Vin seen to first."
"Well seeing as your here I can leave Vin with you and get back and collect the horses and then get back here - okay?" JD suggested.
While the doctors examined Vin's wrist, JD told him of the afternoon's events. Then he returned to the show ground to retrieve their mounts and take them back to the ranch. The wrist was broken, not too badly, he wasn't going to need surgery. Once he had been fitted with a nice dark blue fibreglass cast, and dosed on painkillers, the two of them headed up to see how Buck was doing.
<><><><><><><>
Only an hour and a half after he had spoken to Jan, she walked into the surgical waiting area to tell Chris the operation was over. She led him back to the duty station were a tall man? doctor?, dressed in green scrubs and who looked to be in his fifties, with greying hair and a salt and pepper goatee beard, was typing into the computer. Jan introduced him to Chris.
"Dr Lawson sir, this is Mr Chris Larabee, Buck Wilmington's next of kin."
The senior surgeon typed for a few seconds then looked up. "Sorry, had to save what I'd typed. Next of kin?" He arched an eyebrow.
"Partner, in every sense of the word," Chris growled back.
"Ah, okay. He did very well, it turned out not to be as bad as it looked." Chris relaxed a fraction. "The entry wound is large but the actual puncture to the chest wall was very small. The lung reinflated very well. Dr Kline is just finishing wiring his ribs back together." He noted the flash of renewed concern on Chris' face. "Not to worry, only a precaution really due to the underlying injury to the chest wall. Then Lopez will clean up the worst of the abrasions, might as well do it while he's out and can't feel it - right? I should think he'll be in recovery in say…" He looked at the clock on the wall opposite. "…thirty minutes, then once he's in his own room you can see him. Any questions?"
Chris actually had to think for a moment. "Who's Kline?" he finally asked.
"Orthopaedic specialist, you won't find a better bone setter this side of the Rockies - trust me, anything else?"
"So he'll be okay?"
"Should be, he'll need some rest, he lost a lot of blood before he got here you know, and more on the table, we'll put it back. Needs to rest his lungs for a bit, no physical exertions, but barring any complications you can take him home in a week, after that he'll need at least a couple of weeks convalescence."
A further hour of frustration later, Chris was finally shown in to see Buck. The room was two floors up at the other end of the building, the blinds had been drawn and only a soft light lit the bed area. Buck was asleep, the head of the bed raised up so he was almost sitting. There seemed to be a lot of wires and tubes, a lot more then Lawson's reassuring words had implied. Heart monitor, breathing monitor, blood transfusion, IV, some kind of chest drain, probably a catheter, though he couldn't see it, oxygen. The duty doctor was exchanging notes with a woman, who from her complexion he took to be Lopez. Once they spotted him in the door they both came over to explain things more fully.
"You must be Mr Larabee" The duty doctor extended his hand, which Chris ignored, his gaze being fixed on Buck. "I'm doctor Hoyle, I'll be Buck's doctor from now until he's discharged. Don't worry too much about the tubes and such, most of them will be gone within the first forty-eight hours. He's asleep now, and probably will be for hours, since he's heavily medicated at the moment - alright?"
Chris nodded dumbly.
"Mr Larabee sir?" Lopez prompted.
"Yeah?" His eyes still hadn't left Buck.
"He really will be fine, but he's going to be very …uncomfortable for a while, you understand?"
Chris frowned, not sure that she meant. "What does that mean? If he's in pain do something about it, fix it, give him drugs!" Chris fumed, angry as he was with Buck, he couldn't bear the idea that the man he loved, more then life itself, was in pain."
"When you cut your leg and we put in stitches, if you stretch the leg they pull and hurt - right?" Lopez explained patiently.
"Yeah so?"
"He has stitches in the chest wall, it stretches when he breathes…"
"And he can't not breathe, I get it. So give him medication, for the pain."
"We have, he's got a morphine drip right now," Hoyle assured. "But to block all the pain, he'd be so zonked out or high he couldn’t even hold a simple conversation, besides that level of medication is not to be recommended, especially for his kind of injury. Those kind of drugs suppress respiration, not good for someone with a chest injury."
Chris remembered hearing that before someplace, besides Buck would hate to be that out of it. He understood what they were saying. Don't wake him up, keep everything calm, in other words don’t chew his ass out yet.
He visibly calmed. "I understand."
With that, both doctors stepped aside to let him pass into the room, closing the door behind them as they left the lovers in peace.
<><><><><><><>
Chris walked softly, even silently to the bed. He took in his beloved's condition. The hospital gown he's been given was half pulled down, so that the large white dressing over the wound was visible, bruises were already forming and Chris had little doubt that there would be more before too long. He was relieved to see that Buck had a good colour and despite the oxygen mask seemed to be sleeping peacefully.
"Why Buck? Why would you do something so dumb? Don't you know I love you?" He pulled up the chair and sat down, taking Buck's limp but reassuringly warm hand. With his fingers interlaced with his he raised Buck's hand to press the back of it to his cheek. "Don't you know I have only ever loved one other person like I love you? I lost her, I can't lose you. I can't live through that again. I can't come home to an empty house, I can't go to sleep in and empty bed with only a picture in a sliver frame for company - I just can't do that again. Aren’t our lives dangerous enough? Why? Why the hell did you have to go and risk it - for nothing!" His voice was raising again, and he only just caught himself before he was shouting. "You promised me you wouldn't do it, you ain't never lied to me before, so why do it now?" he whispered, as he gently caressed the hand he held against his cheek.
"He didn't."
Chris' head snapped up and he turned, to see Sanchez standing in the doorway.
"What?"
"Come on out here a moment and speak to Vin, he can tell you what happened."
"I, I have to stay."
Josiah advanced into the room. "I'll stay with him, just for a moment - please?"
Chris looked back at Buck, then gently placed his hand back onto the bed and stood. As the big profiler passed him Chris held out his hand to stop him.
"How long were you listening?"
"Long enough, but don't worry, it won't go any further."
Chris nodded his thanks, though he had never doubted Sanchez's discretion.
<><><><><><><>
Vin was pacing nervously out in the corridor. "Buck doing okay?" he asked as Larabee approached.
"Yeah, he's gonna be fine, in time. So tell me; just what the hell's been going on?"
"Bucklin was a hero, that's what's been going on," Vin stated firmly.
He went on to describe how he and JD were reterning their mounts to the trailer after winning their heat. "Buck was walking with us but he stopped off to get some coffee from the concession stand. Just as we were headed back there was all this yellin' then we saw a bull, big sucker he was too, charging straight for the queue of people at the stand, women, kids, old folk, they had no chance t' get away in time. Ol' Buck jist grabbed it and starts wrestlin' it down. Me an' JD ran t' help him, got m' arm stomped on good." He looked up at Larabee. "Ain't see no one hang on t' a bull like he did, an' that was one mean bull. Well, the three of us held the damn thing down 'til help came. Seems it got loose from a trailer while they were taking it t' the holding pen. We didn't even know Buck was hurt 'til he tried t' stand up."
Chris didn't know how to react. Grateful that Buck hadn't betrayed his trust? Proud he had saved innocent people from injury or even death? Impressed by his physical prowess? He was grateful every day just for Buck's presence in his life. He was always proud of him. Impressed by his physical prowess, he was that, every night. So how did Vin's news make him feel? Ashamed, ashamed of his own lack of faith. Even as he was analysing his own feelings, somewhere in the back of his mind he registered that JD had been involved with the debacle with the bull, and he hadn't seen their youngest.
"Where's JD now?" he asked, after all JD, who still thought of Buck as a big brother even though Buck had been living at the ranch for nearly a year, would normally be all but fighting him to be at Buck's bedside.
"He went back to get the horses, he'll come here when he's done."
"He okay?"
"Mostly, reckon he'll be stiff in the morning, but otherwise he's okay. Not that he'll admit it of course," he pointed out. "He learned that lesson from Buck."
"Yeah, not one of Buck's best," Chris admitted. And yet that JD had felt confident enough to leave the hospital while Buck was still in surgery, which even a year ago that would have been unheard of, was a testament to Buck's tutelage in the fine art of life and growing up. While never admitting when you're hurt wasn't such a good one, Buck had worked wonders with the youngest member of the team. There was almost not comparison between the naive, lonely, grieving boy who joined the team and the confident young man they knew today. Buck had taken him under his wing - whether he liked it or not - and made it his mission in life to educate JD. Some of the time he'd been over protective, even smothering, and JD had kicked back against it. Chris used to get irritated with Wilmington when he was all over JD about something relatively trivial. Whenever he made any comment, Buck just ignored him. Finally, only a few months back, while he and Buck had been lying in bed, just relaxing and talking, he'd asked him why he used to rag on JD so much.
"Hell Chris, the boy needed to rebel, all kids need to rebel, with his mom sick and all, he never got the chance. He needed to kick back a bit, some place were it's safe, some place were it won't get him shot or beat up or arrested." Not for the first time Chris realised he had underestimated his partner.
These days JD didn't need Buck the way he used to. He still needed to know that Buck was around, the two of them would always be 'brothers', but he was no longer dependent on Buck, like all 'kids' he'd spread his wings and grown up.
"He was a goddamn hero Chris, honest t' God."
"What?" Chris pulled his attention back to the battered Texan.
"Buck, he was a hero," Vin reminded again.
"Yeah, I hear ya."
But Vin wanted to be sure Chris really did hear and understand, since Buck had admitted to him the only reason he wasn't riding, even in the calf roping, was because Chris didn't want him risking his life. "You know he had to do it, he'd never stand back and let folk get hurt, no matter what he had t' do."
"I know, damn it I know! Don't mean I have to like it though - does it?" Chris snapped.
"Guess not," Vin admitted, with a lop sided smile, confident that Chris really did understand now.
<><><><><><><>
When JD returned, he slipped into the room quietly. Chris was there, where else would he be?
"Can I come in?" he asked softly. Chris gave him a beckoning wave. "He doing okay? Josiah called me, gave me the low-down," he added, to save Chris having to go through it all again.
"So they tell me, he just sleeping now."
JD cast his eyes over his friend, taking in the injures and the equipment. "He doesn’t look too bad, better than he did." He glanced over at Chris, who was frowning. "Sorry."
"Don't say sorry, just tell me."
"You sure?"
"I'm not a child JD, I love him, I want to know what happened - all of it."
JD shrugged. "There was lot of blood, he couldn't breathe, there was this horrid sucky sound." Chris was looking somewhat sick. "He was joking all the time, you know Buck."
"Yeah, I know."
"Well then the paramedics came, they got him fixed up so he could breathe better, gave him something for the pain. Chris?"
"Mmm?"
"I would've gone with him, in the ambulance, you know, but I saw Vin holding his arm, and …well Vin wouldn't do that unless he was really hurting, so I thought I should stay with him, get him to get himself checked out, you know how Vin is."
Chris smiled. Yeah, Buck had taught the kid well. "You did the right thing, thanks for looking after Vin."
"I gotta take him home - Vin. Then I'll swing by the ranch and do the evening chores, don't worry about them. Will you call me, when he wakes up?"
"Sure, thanks JD, for everything."
"No sweat."
<><><><><><><>
Nine hours, eleven coffees, two sandwiches, one Snickers bar, one bottle of mineral water, nine visits from the nurse, and two from Josiah - later, Buck began to wake up. His head tossed restlessly, his hand reached up to pull of the oxygen mask away.
"Oh no you don't, just leave it be," Chris warned sternly.
A frown creased Buck's brow, his head turned to the source of the sound, eyelids fluttered, once, twice, three times, then opened. Slightly confused deep blue eyes took sometime to focus on Chris, then they seemed to brighten.
"Chris?" The single world was soft and muffled by the mask, but it was wonderful to Chris.
"Hey there you."
"Hey yer self." Deep blue eyes looked past Chris to the nightstand, coming to rest on the jug of ice water.
"Thirsty?" Buck just nodded. "Okay." Chris lifted the oxygen mask away and held a glass of water with a straw for Wilmington to drink from. When he'd had his fill, Chris put the mask back."You scared me."
"Sorry."
So - bulldogging? Thought we talked about that?"
"Had to, people were gonna get…"
"Hush, I know all about it. Guess I'm just gonna have to get used to the fact that I'm living with a hero."
"I'm not a hero."
"Yeah you are, and you're all mine." He let forward to kiss his beloved on the forehead.
Buck once more pulled at his oxygen mask.
"Stop that."
"Please, just for a moment." He pulled at it again, this time Chris didn't stop him. Happy to see his face clearly again, even though it made it easier to see the pain, pain Buck would never admit to. "I love you."
Chris didn't reply, he just bent down and captured the lips that he loved so much, kissing Buck tenderly, sweetly, relishing the feel of his lips once more. Needing the final, irrevocable proof once more that Buck really was there, alive, warm, living, breathing, responding to him, to his presence, to his touch. Finally he pulled back; letting a huge smile split his face.
"I love you too, and I'm gonna take care of you."
"I can't wait." Buck winked at him.
"That isn't what I meant, don't you ever think about anything else?"
"Not when you're this close to me, no."
"Buck Wilmington promise me…"
"Anything darlin'."
"…that you'll never change."
"I can do that."
"And don't ever scare me like this again."
"I'll do my best, but I can't promise, man's gotta do what a man's…"
"Oh for Christ's sake!" With that Chris silence his lover with a kiss.
The End