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Frozenby Silver |
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Frozenby Silver |
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Pairing: I'm sure this comes as big surprise considering we are talking about me.... it's Ezra/Vin ... as if they would let me write anyone else ;-)
Feedback: Would greatly appreciate it since it keeps the creative juices flowing :-)
Disclaimer: Not mine... but at least I let them have all the fun they want too, so technically they should be mine <g> Done for the pure pleasure of Ezra and Vin. Thanks to Mog for letting us play in her ATF sandbox.
Summary: The road to love runs not always smooth as Ezra's past gets in the way of his future with Vin.
Notes: A big thank you to my beta’s Terri and Bobbie you ladies are wonderful and very patient. I really sincerely value the hard work both you put into this. Thanks to LadyBard for the help with the summary. It's greatly appreciated.
He took one last look at his one night stand before turning to walk away. He couldn't do it again. Refused to do it again. He no longer allowed the pain of certain emotions to infiltrate his wall. He no longer felt, anything.
"You're wrong, Ezra."
The huskiness of his new lover's soft drawl washed over him, for a moment he wished things could be different between them. Maybe he wished that things could be different for him? Maybe that he could be different? But that was no longer an option for him. His heart froze another degree as he shored up his defenses. Turning he faced his tracker with his poker face firmly intact.
"No, Mr. Tanner. I've never been more right in my entire life, as I am about this." He turned away from the sad sapphire gaze. He'd put that sadness in those soulful blue eyes.
He had only wanted one night of heaven with the Texan who filled his dreams with such erotic pleasures each night. One night was all he asked. Not to have Vin fall in love with him. He could handle anything but that.
Or, maybe it was the other way around?
That this one night of heaven had caused him to fall in love with Vin. It was something he could no longer allow for himself. He put his hand on the doorknob of the front door, his passport to freedom, to leave but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.
"You're wrong, Ez. You do have a heart. Isn't that why you're running from me? Because you're not as heartless as you thought and it's scaring you?"
He felt the tracker's breath against his neck making him shiver at the sensations it was causing. He turned the knob but Vin prevented him from opening it by pinning him against the door with his body. Ezra rested his head on the door, valiantly trying to ignore the hard body that was holding him in place.
"At least be honest about why you're leaving, Ez." He shivered at the hot breath against his ear.
"I am being honest, Mr. Tanner. You cannot love someone that does not have a soul, much less a heart. It's a simple fact. I have neither."
"Yes, you do, Ez. You just won't let yourself feel either of them." The whispered reply ghosted along his earlobe before it was sucked into the Texan's moist mouth. He couldn't prevent the breathy moan that escaped his parted lips. He felt the tracker's hands roaming his body. He was trembling as the hands pulled out his shirt tails, panting as calloused hands blazed a path to the front of his trousers, moaning as the same hands stroked his hardened flesh.
"I've been slowly tearing down that wall of ice around your heart, brick by frozen brick, and it terrifies you that you can't replace them fast enough. I'm breaking through and you can't stop me." The warm mouth moved down the side of his neck. "You want this, Ezra. I can see the yearning, the desire..."
The voice stopped as he shook his head but the hands were relentless in driving him to the brink of insanity. His mind was reminding him of all the people who had used him and the deserted him the moment he was no longer of use to them. He knew he couldn't survive another heart wrenching loss. But his heart was trying to tell him that Vin wouldn't cast him aside, that this was whom he was destined to be with for life. No more pain or loneliness. Vin was the real deal. Ezra was afraid to trust and not entirely sure if his soul could survive if Vin did cast him aside as all the others had. Then his body, betraying him, started to tremble more with the onset of his orgasm. His energy left him sagging against the tracker.
Vin pulled his lover tighter to him as he gently lowered them to the floor. Resting his chin on the chestnut locks, he ran a comforting, but always caressing, hand down the trembling body.
"I know that you don't believe me but I won't hurt you, Ezra. Couldn't hurt you. You have my heart in your hands and I trust you not to hurt me. All I'm asking for is a chance to love you the way you were meant to be loved." He crooked his finger under the conman's chin tipping upwards to see the stormy tormented sea green eyes.
"Do something for me, Ez? Don't think about how you feel, just feel with your heart."
Ezra pulled his chin away from the Texan only to have it more firmly gripped. "No, Ezra, I want you to look at me as I make love to you. If you let me show you..." Vin cupped Ezra's face firmly with both hands when he started to shake it. "Yes, Ez, you want this as much as you need this."
Vin began his gentle assault by kissing the resistant mouth, when the southerner opened up to him, moaning as Vin's tongue swept in to dueled with his. As Ezra responded to his kiss Vin's hands trailed down the graceful neck stopping at the top button of Ezra's silk shirt. He made short work of the buttons, quickly divesting the gambler of his coat and shirt. Vin ran his hands down the smooth chest, his fingers quickly finding the hardened nipples, rubbing both between his thumbs and forefingers. He never let up on the blatant assault on his lover's senses, knowing to give Ezra time to think would defeat his purposes. His hands skimmed his lover's sides down to still open slacks, slipping his hands under the slacks pushing them down past his lover's hips until they were around his ankles. The proof of how much Ezra was attracted to him was laid out for him. He treated Ezra's hard cock much like a starving man would a banquet of food. He nibbled at the tip, sticking his tongue into the slit, tasting his lover's essence, then he took the head in his mouth suckling it before taking the entire length into his mouth. He began to suck harder as Ezra's pants turn into breathless moans. Vin pulled out of his pocket a tube of KY and slicked his fingers. First he slowly entered one finger and then another, until Ezra had accepted three fingers easily then he slicked his own rock hard cock up against the opening. As the tip of his erection touched Ezra's tight hole, he increased his suction bringing the gambler to the brink before he lifted Ezra up enough to enter him in one thrust. At Ezra's sharp in drawn breath Vin stilled giving his lover time to adjust to him. When he started to move the Texan made sure he went slow and gentle, then demanded, "Ezra, open your eyes and see the truth for what it is."
When the stubborn southerner refused to look at him, he stopped his movements causing his lover to whimper at the loss.
"Look at me."
Ezra opened his eyes and met the loving sapphire gaze he had always wanted to see aimed at him. 'One night of pure heaven then he could leave and never look back' he silently promised himself. He met the tracker's gaze with no emotion in his own. As the tracker started to move again Ezra became entranced in the blue flames that burned so hot as the pleasure rocked him to his core. Vin gazing down with so much love in his eyes was the last thing Ezra saw as he lost consciousness.
Vin knew Ezra was exhausted from the amount of lovemaking they had shared, and the alcohol. He picked up his unconscious lover carrying him into his bedroom, laying him gently on the bed. He quickly finished removing the rest of Ezra's clothes, folding them and laying them on the chair in the corner of the room. Then he quickly finished removing his own, leaving them where they fell, as he climbed into the bed pulling the covers over them. He pulled his gambler into his arms, held him tight to his chest and threw his leg over Ezra's legs to anchor him to his side. He didn't want Ezra to leave without him knowing it. He would just get Ezra to crave his touch, slowly get him to depend on him for physical touch, then work his way up to getting his reluctant lover to admit how much he truly did love him.+ + + + + + +
Ezra woke to a warm body, a warm naked body, that had him in a vise grip. His mind couldn't take it in. He tried to look around to see what had awoken him but everything was a pitch black inside the room. There was no noise except his lover's soft breath on the back of his neck and he would rather forget the sensations that it was causing. He had to think.
What happened last night?
He could remember going to the Saloon with the Team, then he had gone to a bar to get rip roaring drunk were his team mates wouldn't see him in such a state, which he must have failed to do because he didn't have a hang over.
Then what happened?
He remembered someone sitting down next to him, He had beautiful sapphire eyes and shoulder length hair...
Last Night at the Saloon
Ezra could not stand another night watching the man he had made the mistake of falling in love with laughing and joking like they were just friends. God, he needed a drink. Not the good stuff. He needed the rotgut whisky burning its reality down his throat and heating his veins to the point of not caring whether he lived or died at that moment. One little problem.. he couldn't do it with his teammates, his friends, watching him. It would raise questions they would demand answers to if he did go on a suicidal binge in front of them, answers he could not nor would not give. He made up his mind to leave, not really caring where he ended up tonight.
"Gentlemen, I bid you good night. I have a cover to prepare and will see you in the morning."
He stood, grabbing his coat, striding away from them, before anyone could say anything. He kept his pace as normal as possible. If he ran out the door it would only cause the men he now called friends, for the moment at least, to follow him and that was not an option for what he had planned. Safely alone in his car he pulled out into the street, pointing towards the east side of town where he could get lost in a crowded bar and nobody would care how he was dressed, since they all would be drowning their own problems. He was so far gone into his depression he never noticed the battered jeep following him.+ + + + + + +
They had all noticed the southerner's unusual quietness of the past few weeks. Ezra seemed to be withdrawing from them. At first it was his self-deprecating humor that seemed to be worse than before and then he became quieter with each passing day.
"What was that about?" JD asked.
"I think our brother is in some kind of trouble."
Buck scoffed at that, "Ez is always in trouble. Nothing new there."
"That's not the kind I meant. His soul is troubled," Josiah explained. "I think someone needs to have a talk with the boy."
Chris stood, intent on getting answers from his undercover agent even if he had to beat it out of him. A hand on his arm stopped him. Following the strong tanned hand to its owners face; he looked at his best friend.
Vin shook his head. "I think I better handle this one Cowboy. He isn't the most open person on a good day and it's been a rough couple of weeks. I think he'll open up to me a little better than having you trying to beat it out of him."
Vin knew Ezra could get their leader's temper going in a heartbeat and by then Ezra would have distracted Chris from his original purpose; finding out what was going on with the southerner.
"All right, if you think you can get somewhere with him, go for it." Chris sat back down wondering what had caused Ezra to pull away from them and why. He also understood that if Ezra talked to anyone he would be more likely to open up to Vin.
Vin stood up and hurried out into the night so the southerner wouldn't get too far ahead of him. He had been concerned when he could feel Ezra pulling back from him. He knew the others thought it was the team that Ezra was pulling away from but it was him. He had caught Ezra watching him with an unguarded expression on his face of yearning and desire but when their eyes met, Ezra's wall would slam down around him, his expression blank and bored. He had thought to let Ezra know he was interested in a relationship with him but anytime he approached the cagey southerner Ezra would quickly excuse himself and then he wouldn't be able to get close to him for days after that. He had finally backed off and let Ezra have his space but it looks like he might have handled it wrong.
Vin followed Ezra to, what appeared to be a run down bar, until you entered it. It was packed with people from all walks of life. Then the stench of stale beer and unwashed bodies hit him making him want to gag. The bar had once been a grand ballroom from the looks of it but now it was littered with people trying to forget their own problems.
He started for the bar only to pause as something told him Ezra wouldn't be found there. It wasn't his style; Ezra would be at a corner table where he could keep an eye on the room, even if that eye was slightly unfocused. With that in mind Vin worked his way around the perimeter of the room, quickly spotting his gambler, sitting with his back to the wall, a bottle of whiskey his only company.
He approached the undercover agent carefully, much like he would a wounded animal. He stood there for a moment taking in Ezra's appearance. His suit was showing creases, and , the normally well-groomed chestnut locks were sticking up, as though he had been running his hands through his hair as his distress grew. Vin's heart constricted at seeing Ezra like this. He took a seat next to the hurting man waiting for Ezra to acknowledge him but he waited in vain.
Ezra slammed another shot down and was about to pour himself another when Vin grabbed the bottle putting it out of his reach.
Ezra was startled when his bottle was pulled out of his hands. His alcohol dazed eyes blearily tried to focus on the several form in front of him. His vision slowly came into focus dwindling the numbers to the one form in front of him till he realized he was better off not knowing that the form in front of him had beautiful sienna locks, that when the sun kissed them it was like a flaming light in his dark world. The form's eyes were a startling vivid sapphire gaze that was so sharp that it could kill a man over 300 yards away and read a man's soul to determine his worth and intent.
It was his nightmare come true, to have Vin this close to him and not be able to taste those sweet lips or run his fingers through the beautiful hair.
"Well, Mr. Tanner to what do I owe this visit? You lose the draw?" His southern voice thick with the alcohol that burned through his veins
"No, Ez, I didn't lose no draw. You're a friend and I just want to help you, if you'll let me."
Ezra snorted. "Well, then, Mr. Tanner, Hell must truly be freezing over if you are here on this hellish night offering your friendship. Care to have a drink with me? We can toast to trading one Hell for another."
"Ez, what are you talking about? Never mind. I'm taking you home." Vin just didn't tell the southerner whose home he was going to.
"Thanks, but no, thanks. I don't need nor want a babysitter. So just go back to your little family and tell them you did your best and failed." Ezra reached for the bottle but Vin was quicker, grabbing the bottle and handing it off to the table behind him.
"Here ya go. We won't be needing this any more and don't want it to go to waste."
"Thanks, Mister." The older man raised his glass to Vin but he had already turned around only to find Ezra had gotten up and left. He stood up on the chair looking around and spotted Ezra heading towards the bar. Vin shook his head at the man's stubbornness and stepped down to follow him.
He caught Ezra's arm turning him around to face him but Ezra had had a little too much to drink and lost his balance. Vin caught him by pulling him to his chest. He looked down into startled emerald eyes that seemed to struggle to take in what they were seeing. Vin could feel heat coming off the smaller man, could feel the strength in the muscles and his heart broke at the vulnerable lost look in the southerner’s eyes. He no longer heard the music or the conversation or felt the pounding base within the structure, everything melted away as he finally held the man he loved.
Ezra's hands fisted themselves in the Texan's shirt, his breathing harsh as he looked up into Vin's vivid blue eyes that suddenly flared with passion. He shook his head no because he couldn't possibly be seeing what he thought he saw. When Vin started to nod his head yes, he tried to back up but Vin held Ezra tightly to him. The Texan slowly lowered his head to Ezra's then took the undercover agent's lips in a hard kiss, his hand holding onto Ezra's neck when he went to pull away.
Ezra moaned deep in his throat, as he opened up to him and felt weak in the knees when Vin's tongue swept in laying claim as it went. He felt absolutely possessed by this incredible man who held him tight to his hard body. Ezra didn't believe this was real for a moment. It had to be the mass amount of alcohol he had drunk but he was loath to call it quits from this dream. It felt so incredibly real to him.
Vin could taste the alcohol but he deepened the kiss searching for the taste that was uniquely Ezra. He found the sweetness and became addicted to the flavor. Vin came to his senses when Ezra moaned deep in his throat, tearing his mouth from the southerner's, both panting heavily as he held Ezra to him. He didn't want to move. He had Ezra relaxed against him, the con man's head on his shoulder and he loved the feeling but what he would love even more was to have the con man hot, naked and straining beneath him. He hardened at the mental image that provoked him into action.
"Ez, let's go home and finish this in private." He whispered into Ezra's ear, his hot breath causing the southerner to shiver against him. Vin smiled at the telling action.
Vin turned Ezra around, holding his elbow in a firm grip, and started to move him towards the door. They had made it outside and Vin was leading him towards his Jeep when Ezra balked. The southerner tried to pull out of his grip, without success, as Vin held firm.
"Mr. Tanner, I'm not leaving my precious vehicle here to be abused. Look I will follow you..." Ezra's words trailed off when the Texan shook his head no.
"Nope, if you're worried about your car we will just have to take it instead. So hand over the keys."
Vin held out his hand for the keys but Ezra shook his head and turned towards his car. Vin just yanked him off balance so that he could catch Ezra pulling him once again to his chest, with Ezra's back to his chest. Putting his lips to Ezra's ear he pulled the earlobe into his mouth gently sucking on it until he heard a breathy moan from his con man. "Doesn't matter which car we take I'm driving." Having said that he slipped his free hand into Ezra's front pocket, searching for the keys to the Jag.
While searching for the keys he felt Ezra's semi-hard cock and he made sure he brushed against it till it was completely hard and had Ezra's head leaning back on his shoulder moaning from his touch. With Ezra being so compliant he released him, putting his other hand in the southerner's other pocket, moving his hands in tandem to each other on the hard cock as his lips nipped and sucked the con man's exposed neck.
Ezra was in heaven. The sensations consumed him in heat that burned through his veins like a wild brush fire. He didn't care where he was as long as he could fulfill his heart's greatest desire in the most realistic dream he had ever experienced. He never wanted it to end.
Vin grabbed the keys before he pulled his hands out of Ezra's pockets. Groaning at the loss, he pushed Ezra away from his body but not letting him go. He had to get Ezra to his apartment and quickly since his self control seemed to have flown right out the window. Good thing nobody seemed to notice that. He led the way to Ezra's Jag, unlocking the passenger's side door and opening it for Ezra.
He loved how responsive Ezra was to him. It was possible that it was the alcohol that made the undercover agent responsive to his touch but he would like to believe it was him that caused it.
Present Time
It hit like a ton of bricks; it was Vin who was holding him captive in his embrace.
What the hell had happened to his control last night?
He blushed as his memory took great delight in reminding him of every detail. Vin told him to open his heart to see the truth and he had seen the tracker's love but as with every relationship he had ever had it was a lie. Because in the end, no matter what, Vin would leave him.
His body betrayed him as he started to tremble. He was vulnerable and his wall of self defense, held no resistance against Vin. That scared him worse than the time his cousin had left him locked in the garden shed with the snakes his other cousin had gathered up. He had to leave, not just here but he had leave the ATF, Denver and his friends who had somehow become his family.
Suddenly he felt Vin's hand caressing him in long comforting strokes down his chest, stopping at his navel and then back up again but he seemed to still be asleep. Vin was responding to his distress even in his sleep. Ezra couldn't take it anymore. He had to get out of here and quickly. He slowly started to shift away from the tracker's body only to find himself pulled even tighter to the hard body. He looked back to see if he had woken Vin but his eyes were still closed and his breathing still even. He tried to move away two more times before he finally realized he would have to wake the sharpshooter in order to gain his release.
But he wasn't ready to face the reality of last night. He had seen what Vin was offering him but he knew better than to trust that offer. Once bitten, twice shy. That saying held more truth for him since he had learned the hard way never to believe in anyone or anything. His mind was churning with memories that cut deeper than flesh to bone. Memories that left a heart broken and bleeding. Leaving a soul barren and lonely as a desert surrounded by vast emptiness of space. He could feel the crumbling wall slowly repairing the cracks and crevices, the iciness that allowed him to feel nothing was winding its way around the spark of hope he would never admit to, smothering it before it could cause him pain.
With his defenses once again in place it was time for him to leave here.
Just one complication.
How was he going to get out Vin's embrace without waking him up?
Moving slowly he took Vin's hand and was slowly lifting up when he suddenly found himself trapped under the tracker's body. Startled at how quickly Vin had moved and distracted by the hard body now laying flush on top of his, Ezra looked up into vivid blue eyes.
"Going somewhere, Ez? You wouldn't be trying to leave without saying goodbye, would you?" Vin's voice was husky with sleep sending molten fire through the southerner's veins. Vin's hands cupped Ezra face, thumbs slowly stroking his lips before bending down to take his mouth in a kiss that was both loving and possessive. His tongue swept in when the southerner opened up to him. When Ezra started to respond to him he broke the kiss.
Vin sat up in bed, his breathing ragged. When he stood up he looked down at the confused passion dazed gambler. He took Ezra's hand in his, gently pulling him up also. When Ezra tried to speak Vin put a finger to his lips and shook his head. He led the way to the bathroom; and went to the shower adjusting the temperature of the water before he turned the spray on. Not giving Ezra the chance to say anything he stepped into the shower pulling Ezra with him. When Vin had Ezra under the water, he turned the southerner around to face the spray and pulled Ezra back against him. He moaned as his hardness slipped between Ezra's silky butt cheeks. It took a supreme effort on his part not to take advantage of the position, instead he forced himself to remember the special prize he would gain in the end, Ezra's love. He set his mind to his planned seduction.
Vin ran his hand through the chestnut locks making sure all the hair was wet before reaching for the shampoo, accidentally dropping it. He crouched down, partially around Ezra reaching for the bottle, turning his face towards Ezra's body, his tongue slowly reached out to trace the length of Ezra's hard member. At the southerner's sharp intake of breath he stopped, hiding his smile as he stood up with shampoo bottle in hand.
Pouring some of the shampoo in his hand he reached up, slowly massaging the shampoo into the wet locks of hair, being careful not to get it into his eyes. Ezra had his hands on the wall bracing himself as he leaned his head back into the Texas's hands, allowing the water to spray directly into his face.
"Okay, Ez, lean your head forward," he said huskily, feeling Ezra tremble as he ran his hands up his neck and into the silky strands to help rinse the shampoo out.
Pulling the compliant undercover agent into his arms he started kissing the sweet spot between his lover's neck and shoulder. He wrapped one hand around Ezra's hard cock and started to stroke it slowly, while the other hand caressed the beautiful body.
Ezra's body was perfect.. like the chiseled Greek statues of marble he'd seen in some of the conman's books. Smooth well sculpted chest, down the toned abs, his hand mapped out all the contours of the sexy body in front of him. The sharpshooter increased his ministrations on his lover pushing the southerner over the edge of an orgasm. He held the trembling body close to him whispering lover's nonsense words and caressing with only the intent to soothe the man he loved.
After his con man had regained a little of his balance, Vin leaned around him to shut the water off. When he stood up he pulled his lover closer and kissed him senseless. He hoped to keep him from thinking since Vin knew that when Ezra started to think about things he would start to distance himself again and he just couldn't let that happen right now. His lover's spirit was too fragile. If he could just get him to crave his touch, his voice, his presence, then maybe they could go to the next step, to trust in him and his love.+ + + + + + +
Ezra had been so startled by the tenderness that Vin had shown him, and that shower? Dear Lord, it had taken his breath away. But he was still puzzled by the whole thing. Vin hadn't taken his pleasure this morning. The sharpshooter had simply helped him out of the shower, dried him off and then helped dress him in the most sensual way he had ever experienced. As each expanse of his body was covered, the area had been caressed and kissed. His body tingled and burned for more. But he was at a loss as how to feel or how to interpret this encounter with this man he had fallen in love with. His walls were almost nonexistent, the flame of hope was burning brightly melting the wall of ice away. He watched as Vin dressed slow and strangely sexy as the ex-bounty hunter made and held eye contact with him. When finished, the long haired sharpshooter walked sensually towards him and the Texan took him into his arms and kiss the very breath out of him.
This was all very strange, too strange. Maybe he had had more to drink than he thought? Maybe he was still sleeping off the alcohol safely tucked in his bed and this was all a dream?
But he knew that wasn't even close to the truth. He had one rule he never broke; if he couldn't be honest with anyone else he could at least always be honest with himself. Right now he hated that rule of his because he really could use the lie about now.
Those talented mouth and hands were once again distracting him and not allowing him to think, to once again fortify his protective wall. He needed to get away and soon.
He moaned as Vin was sucking on his earlobe and gently nipping at it while his hands were slowing divesting him of the clothes the sharpshooter had just helped to put on him. His body was flushed with anticipation, excitement and worse, longing. How was he suppose to fight this constant assault on his senses and worse yet, his heart?
But it looked like he was back in Lady Luck's good graces. There was a pounding at the door and he knew only one person who could make the door rattle and windows shake. Chris Larabee. His salvation.+ + + + + + +
As he was removing the clothing he had just help put on Vin was slowly kissing his way down and then back up Ezra's incredible body. He eased the sweet body back on the bed. He had the undercover agent moaning and thrashing below him as he was suckling on the sweet earlobe when the pounding on the door broke through his passion soaked brain.
He sighed as he levered himself off the dazed southerner. He knew he better go let Larabee in before he broke the door down. Damn man couldn't use the phone. Oh hell no, that'd be too easy.
He untucked his shirt to cover up the bulge in his pants. "Hey, Ez, let me go get that before he breaks in the door."
The agent had sat up but had yet to look at him. Vin sighed as he slid back up to where Ezra was sitting, so they were chest to chest, against his headboard.
"Ez?" But the silent man still wouldn't look at him. He ran his hand up his lover's neck and around to his chin, lifting it up trying to catch the elusive man's eyes.
"Look at me, Ez." The soft command had the undercover agent's eyes meeting his. "I'll be right back. Everything will be just fine. If you'll just give me a chance to prove it." With that he placed a soft chaste kiss on the sweet lips.
Ezra heard the loud banging stop. He couldn't hear the whispered conversation but could tell it was getting heated. Not really wanting to stick around to see himself kicked off the team, as he knew that once again, someone he loved would tell him that he wasn't good enough.
As he took stock of his surroundings, his walls slowly started to rebuild themselves with bricks of remembered pain and the ice of past loves turned bitter. He walked over to the bedroom window. Opening the curtains, he grimaced. He was not fond of heights but one must do what one must do. He sighed as he rebuttoned his shirt. He could still smell Vin's spicy woodsy scent and still feels his hands on him. He groaned as he grabbed the ledge and pulled himself out onto it. He would erase the memory later, now, he needed to disappear. He looked down, gauging the distance. Three floors down. Glancing up, one floor up and the drain pipe not too far out reach. He carefully gauged the distance. He would climb up and then worry about it from there.
Taking a deep breath, praying to God, he leapt for the drain pipe, his fingers not being able to stop his momentum but slowing him enough so that when his fingers finally gave way, he was closer to the first floor apartments. When he finally landed, it only knocked the wind out of him. Getting up, he didn't bother to look up just took off running but stopped at the corner to peer
around it. Not seeing anyone he headed deeper into Purgatory.
Most would think he knew nothing about this place or its people but they would be wrong. He was going to a place he had avoided since his first year in Denver. He was going to the devil himself but at least this devil owed him a huge favor.+ + + + + + +
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." Opening the door for his friend, he stepped back and let him in.
"Where the hell is Ezra?" The team leader wanted answers and he wanted them now.
"Well, morning to you too, Cowboy," he said as he shut the door.
"He's not answering his phone and his car is here. Where is he and what did you find out?"
"First of all, he's here and fine. Second, keep your voice down. He doesn't need your hostility just your friendship."
Chris let out a pent up breath of relief at just hearing his friend was safe, "Okay, he's alright, physically, but what did he say?"
"It ain't that simple and you know it. I'm still trying to get by that damn barrier of his," giving his best friend a dirty look, "I was doing pretty good till you started bangin' on my door. Now he's had time to hide behind that barricade again," the sharpshooter sat down heavily on the couch, "and I'm not sure I can get back to even where I started from last night."
He felt a hand on his shoulder and when he looked up at his friend and saw a small smile. Vin quirked an eyebrow at his friend, in question.
"Just glad we have to stop watching you two dance around each other. It was getting quite tiring." At Vin's blush, he nodded his head, "Yep, it's about time you two got together."
"Well, I'm still trying to convince him of that but there was a bit of a loud interruption. What's with all the banging anyway? Forget how to use a phone?"
"Nope, just worried and then there is that case we start in two days. Needed to make sure my undercover agent has his head on straight. Go get him so we can see if I need to switch off with Team Two."
"Look, let me talk to him first, make sure he's okay with you bargin' in and knowin' about us."
Larabee just nodded.
Vin walked back into his room but found it empty. He checked the bathroom already knowing that Ezra was gone. He gazed around the room looking for clues as to where the wily agent got off to. His eyes settled on the open window.
"Larabee, get your sorry ass in here." Tanner's anger was clear in his voice as he gazed out the window, watching the agent glance back, then walk around the corner and disappear.
"What?" Larabee got a sinking feeling as the sharpshooter turned from the window. "He didn't?"
"He did. Do me a favor? Next time use the phone." He sighed. Vin knew Chris was worried about Ezra, so he took a deep breath, letting go of his anger. "C’mon let's go find him before he runs into trouble."
The two agents ran out of the apartment, flying down the steps and separating once they hit the black asphalt. Vin took the short cut that was the quickest way out of Purgatory. Chris took the long way. Both searched for their seventh in every shadow and every closed door, unlocked or locked and the doors that were left open. They talked to every person they came across but no one had seen the southern agent leaving Purgatory.+ + + + + + +
Ezra Standish, chameleon extraordinary, sulked in the shadows following the dark and dank alley into a deeper, soulless, part of town, where one went when he had nothing left to give but the sorry existence of his life. He knocked on a steel door that would seem to be the only thing holding up the dilapidated building. The little sliding door opened to reveal eyes so black they sent chills down the southerner's spine, which he quickly squelched and spoke the one word that gained him entrance into the gates of Hell.
"Jumbo."
The door opened to him, drawing the agent into its welcoming warmth. The black eyes now glimmered with amusement.
"Jumbo to you too, Hellion." The ebony giant grinned as he closed the door behind the man to whom he owed much of his status and continued flow of money.
"I have not gone by that since I left you last, Falcon." The suave agent kept walking towards the back towards the office, taking in everything as he went. It really hadn't changed much. It was still the cool southwestern colors that he had chosen when he had first refurbished the inside of the building.
When he had found this building years ago he had thought it would make an interesting investment, if not a front for undercover operations in the future. A giant calling himself Falcon brought an interesting proposition to him that would help the community and make money for the kids that were cast offs and runaways. With his and Falcon's contacts they found homes for the kids that they could and gave jobs to those that didn't want to be in a foster home or were older and didn't feel they needed a home. Those kids were taught trades from carpentry to driving trucks. Both men tried to keep the kids away from drugs by keeping them busy and giving them a place to sleep. The kids had few rules to follow in order to stay in the make shift shelter. They had a curfew according to their age, they ate together, they had go to school on a regular basis, and studied as a group at a regular time. The most important part was to make things safer for the kids on the street and give them a purpose.
"Hellion!" A teenager with blond, short cropped hair and clear blue eyes, ran up to Ezra hugging him. "It's good to see you back. Are you here to stay?"
"Marcus, how have you been? Staying out of trouble?" Ezra asked as he returned the hug.
"Yes sir. I'm even making good grades in school and working on the docks at a trucking company."
"That's great, Marcus. Look, I need to talk to Falcon, okay? We'll catch up afterwards."
"Sure thing, Hellion, I'll see you tonight at dinner, okay?"
"I'll see you at dinner, Marcus." He led the way towards the office with Falcon following him. After shutting the door behind them, he took a seat in front of the desk. "How are things going?"
"Hellion, this is me remember? What happened?"
Ezra sighed. He could never put anything past this man. "I'm - in rather a delicate bind." He got up, started pacing back and forth, running his hand through his hair. "I allowed someone to become too close." Ezra leaned up against the wall allowing his head to fall forward.
Falcon took in the slumped shoulders, mussed hair and rumpled clothing. "You finally did it, didn't you?"
Ezra never turned around, "Finally did what, Falcon?"
"You finally allowed someone to get behind that wall you built around your heart. Was it one of those agents on your team?"
Standish turned around sharply and glared at the man seated behind the desk.
"What would you know of them?"
"I kept tabs on you. Made sure you were doing alright. Kids kept an eye on you too but mostly because they missed you. So, answer my question."
Ezra knew when the odds were against him, besides he knew he could trust Falcon. "Yes, it was one of my teammates." He slumped into the chair putting his head into his hands.
"And . . ."
"And it was more than I could handle."
"So, you ran and are now hiding? Here of all places?" Falcon heaved a sigh. "Hellion, you can't run every time someone gets too close."
"First of all, the teammate in question lives in this neighborhood and second I could not handle what happened between us."
"Ahh, now I understand. By too close you mean . . ." Falcon left it open, knowing his friend needed to talk about what had happened.
"Anyone ever tell you, you think too much?"
"Yeah, you."
Ezra walked over and sat down heavily, with a bowed head "Not only did I allow them in I … I let a special person in."
"Then why are you here with me rather than with that special someone?"
"Because he broke down all of my walls. I have no defense against him."
"So . . ."
Ezra raised his head up, glaring at the man across from him, "So - So. What do you mean so?"
"Hellion, does it really matter that you have no defense? You let me and the children in. So why not take a chance on him or the thing you are afraid of?"
"You and the children are different. What happens when he doesn't want me anymore? Look at the disaster with the FBI. No --- no, I can't do it again."
"Okay, Hellion, stay the night with us and think about what you would be giving up. Besides the children would love to see you again." With that Falcon left Ezra to himself. Hopefully thinking but knowing Hellion he would go over the books, just to make sure that the kids were comfortable and taken care of. Falcon knew these kids weren't lacking. He and especially Ezra, had made sure of that.+ + + + + + +
Dinner had been a special affair for Ezra. He got reacquainted with all the children and the new ones who had found their way here. It was good to laugh freely but there was something missing that he just couldn't put his finger on.
By the time he went to bed he was physically and mentally exhausted but that didn't stop the onslaught of memories of what had happened between Vin and himself. He knew that no matter what, in his heart of hearts, he loved the Texan. He unconsciously shrugged his shoulders as he lay in bed staring at the ceiling.
So what, if he loved the man?
It really didn't matter that he could still feel the mans hands, lips, tongue ... he moaned as he rolled over, that had not helped. Maybe he needed to reach into his vault of pain and pull out the memories that would bring his heart back behind the walls of safety. Of course in doing that he would once again be the cold hearted bastard everyone believed him to be.
He could live with that. Or so he deluded himself into believing.+ + + + + + +
Falcon watched his friend from the shadows and shook his head at the emotions that crossed the unsuspecting agent's face. He sighed to himself as realized he could possibly be ruining his friendship with the southern cuss but he loved the man he had called brother years before he had even joined the ATF team. He had understood why Hellion couldn't risk anyone knowing about the sanctuary they had created for the children. At least when he had been with the FBI the danger had been in other states but he knew that Hellion was afraid for anyone to know about the children, afraid someone could hurt or use the kids against him.
But he wasn't about to let the agent pass up a chance to be happy. He knew all about Ezra's past from his childhood too his problems with the FBI. He'd give the southerner a chance to come to the conclusion of going back himself or he'd do it for him. With that decision made Falcon sought his own bed.+ + + + + + +
Vin stood leaning against the window in the bullpen, watching the people below scurrying around trying to get ahead in the daily rat race but his mind was far away. He could still feel Ezra as he moved against him, like a ghost's touch whispering through his memories, torturing him. He knew he should be out there looking for his southern love but instead was here in with the moron who ran the accounting department.
Who just happened to have called an emergency meeting. Only a geek with no life would consider the monthly expenditures an emergency at 7:00 pm on a Saturday night. Now, he and the team were here wasting precious.
"Mr. Tanner, will you please be seated so we can finish this?" the pencil neck stated firmly just wanting to get out of the presence of the most intimidating men he had had the misfortune to deal with. He had better things to do than to deal with men that the agency allowed Judge Travis to baby. So what if they had an impressive closure rate? He shrugged mentally. Time to get the battle over with. No doubt Agent Standish would claim several expensive suits plus anything else the suave southerner could come up with. Speaking of which...
"Where is Agent Standish? This was a..." The surprised squeak would've done a rat proud. "Wait ... wait ... just a mome..."
He never got to finish his sentence as he was unceremoniously thrown into the elevator followed shortly by his paperwork. The paper pusher could only stare, mouth moving with silence, as the men in front of him pushed the button that sent him back to his office floor. His mother never told him that he would have to deal with heathens like this when she sent him to accounting school.
JD and Nathan turned around to the clapping, and whistling, of their friends. Then without looking, they each took a bow.
Buck beamed proudly at his best friend. "Nice job, Kid. Now let's go find us a southern pain in the ass. "
"So where do we start?" Nathan grabbed his coat up as he followed the other men into the stairwell.
"Same place we lost him. Purgatory." Chris said as he lead the way down the stairs.
"So how far did y'all search before the meeting was called?" Josiah asked.
"Managed to search the blocks and buildings leading up to the main street. Asked some of the kids to keep a look out for him," the quiet tracker stated.
“Hey Vin have you heard anything about Hellion recently? I mean what if he thinks Ez is a threat to the neighborhood? You know like a supplier or something.” JD asked concerned.
Nobody had ever really seen the elusive vigilante. The locals received tips to drug deals only to arrive to find the gang tied up with a tape of the deal. The team was given a heads up from the locals because it was Vin’s territory. They had tried to find information on the mysterious man but constantly ran into a brick wall. They knew that Hellion showed up when things got rough in the neighborhood and then disappeared in the into thin air. They had assumed he had gotten pinched each time and ended up in jail and under his real name so they couldn’t track him as Hellion. The Team hoped that one day they could catch the guy to show him what real justice was. No true blue blooded law officer liked a vigilante.
“Not a thing recently but Purgatory has been quite lately. If Hellion knows what’s good for him he better stay the Hell away from Ezra.” It just felt good to be moving towards his love instead of being still while the torturous thoughts pulled at him. There were just too many variables for him not to be concerned about his lover and too many questions.
Vin climbed into the Ram wishing he could stop his train of thought ... but he couldn't. He felt responsible for pushing his friend and lover to such drastic steps as running out on them, on him. All because he wanted a relationship with the man?
It just wasn't worth it. Ezra putting himself in danger just to get away from him. Oh sure, he knew Ezra could take care of himself, there was no doubt in that ... but why would he go into Purgatory instead of out? Why go into the worst part of the city? The part he made no bones about not liking? Why go towards the danger?
His instincts were screaming at him, telling him that Ezra had gone deeper into Purgatory - not out. There were no traces or evidence that he'd left that part of the city. Not even Ezra was that good. The southerner left in the suit that he had been wearing the night before ... someone would have noticed the well dressed agent.
What if he was out there somewhere hurt or bleeding? What if someone jumped him? What if they didn't get to him in time? It tore at Vin's heart because the worst thing was Ezra was all alone. No one was there to help him when he was in trouble. No one to confide in ... to listen to him explain why he felt he had to run.
They just had to find Ezra before his worst nightmarish thoughts came true.+ + + + + + +
The others’ were waiting in front of Vin's apartment building as the sharpshooter spoke to one of the kids that lived in the neighborhood. Chris had sent JD and Buck up to Vin's apartment when they had first arrived, just on the off chance the undercover agent had come back. It was more of a way to give his two most impatient agents something to occupy them than any real belief that the southerner had returned.
Vin returned frustrated. How could no one have seen the suave agent? "Shawn said that everyone he talked to hasn't seen him. He's going to check with a few of the gangs. He'll track us down afterwards."
"So where do we start, Vin?" JD asked.
"Let's split up in pairs. Buck, you and the Kid go left towards the park. Nate, Josiah, head towards the tower. We'll head down towards the warehouse district. Y'all circle around towards us and we'll meet at the sanctuary in an hour, before we lose all our light."
"Everybody watch your six, got it?" Chris received reassuring nods from all of his men.
He knew that the words weren't necessary but the sentiment behind them was. Watching out for each other was like breathing but he felt compelled to remind them as well as himself that they were a family and to return to the fold unharmed was extremely important.
"We'll meet ya at the sanctuary, pard." Buck slung his arm around JD's shoulders. “C'mon, Kid, let's get this show on the road."
JD just rolled his eyes as he pulled away from his friend and headed to the opposite side of the street from his gregarious friend. He and Buck were just a few blocks from meeting the others and he had one building left to check. He signaled to Buck that he was going into the building. Buck nodded his agreement as he leaned against a nearby street sign.
JD entered the building taking in the empty, dusty, space, his footsteps ringing hollow as he walked across the floor. He brushed the cobwebs away from the only doorway, just wanting to be sure he didn't miss anything. He started to open the door when a loud whack followed by laughter was heard. The noise had made his heart start to race but his hand was steady as a rock as he quietly pulled out his weapon. Pushing the door open slowly just enough to see into the room, he shook his head in disbelief as he watched four local teens alternate packaging white powder in small bags and snorting the powder. Pulling the door shut he quietly backed up slowly JD made his way to the door he had come in. He signaled to Buck to keep quiet as he made his way towards the ladies man.
"What's up, kid?" Buck asked softly
"Four guys, snortin' and packaging narcotics," JD said as he pulled his cell phone out pushing one number. "Hey, Chris, got some guys getting high while they're packaging their stuff. Wasn't close enough to tell what it was just know they're snortin more than they're packin'. Last building on the left on Walnut. Sure, Chris, we'll sit on it till ya get here." He snapped his phone shut. “Chris is calling the locals and Vin is calling Nate and Josiah."
Both men moved to the side of the building towards the back so they could watch the door. Buck peered around the corner while JD crouched down watching the entrance to the alley just in case someone saw them and decided to surprise them.
"Figures we'd run inta somethin'." Buck sighed. "Why ya think Ez took off?"
"Maybe he don't know how to be in a relationship. Could've scared him somethin' fierce."
"True, look at Maude. Always gettin' hitched to a rich man then gettin' a divorce just to get his money. Ez being shuffled back and forth between all those families and mostly complete strangers at that. Hell, with that kind of role model no wonder Ez would have a hard time."
"I don't think it's just that. I mean we were his first real friends, his first real family, and he still has trouble with that concept. Not to mention that the only time Maude shows up is when she wants somethin' from him. Moms are suppose to be lovin', generous, carin', full of unconditional love, but she's just plain mercenary. Can you imagine findin' out someone loves you for you and doesn't want anything from you? If I had grown up like that I'd have trust issues too."
"We'll just have ta help him understand that he can't be runnin' off every time he gets spooked." Buck nudged JD's shoulder and pointed to where he saw Vin on the roof of the building. Chris joined them a few minutes later.
"Josiah and Nate went inside to cover the other door. They still in there?" Chris took his Beretta out, checking the chambered round and then the clip as he spoke.
"Yep," Buck said as he also checked his weapon. JD checked his before he tucked it into his holster and then ran his fingers through his hair, mussing it up, giving him a disheveled appearance.
"Ready?" At their nod Chris signaled to Vin. Crouching low Buck led the way to the door taking up his position on the far side of it. Chris stayed on the other side as he signaled for JD to move. JD took a deep breath as he opened the door and entered.
"Hey where's the party, man?" JD asked as he pretended to ignore the men in the room. The men jumped in surprise, bringing their various weapons to bear on the intruder.
"Ain't no party here, asshole, so get a move on," a man with greasy hair and a long green duster demanded.
JD Just moved deeper into the room drawing attention away from both entrances. "Are ya sure? 'Cause G said ta meet him here."
"I said there ain't no party and if ya don't get ta movin' then I'm gonna start..." Greasy stopped as he felt a cold gun muzzle in his neck. He raised his hands in surrender as he glanced around to see his friends in the same position.
"Ya know it ain't nice ta threaten people,." Buck said as he reached up taking the gun from the perp. Trying not to breathe too much as he did so.
Chris chuckled at Buck's look of disgust as he clicked the handcuffs onto his own perp. He gave the man in front of him a push to get him moving towards his partners that the others had lined up against the wall.
Vin dropped down from the skylight where he had been covering the team. "Locals are a few blocks away."
Josiah went outside to wait for them as Nate and Buck watched the four prisoners. Chris watched as JD checked out the rest of the room. He glanced at the sharpshooter.
"We'll find him tomorrow, Vin."
"I'm not so sure about that," Vin said as they moved to help the officers who'd just arrived, to get the prisoners loaded and to give their statements. It was going to be a long night full of questions, reports, logging in evidence and interviews, giving Ezra more time to cover his tracks and possibly disappear for good. Right now all Vin had was hope and faith that love would win out in the end.
And for now, until he found and reclaimed his southern love, that would have to be enough.