A Healing Love by Roxy and Jamie

Disclaimer: Not ours but we'd have surely looked after 'em better if they were.

Thanks to Kay (Jedikay) for all her help and for the wicked wall.

As Vin lay in bed next to Buck, he couldn't help thinking back to all the events leading up to the two of them coming together for the first time. Even now after a year, he still could remember it as if it had happened just yesterday.

He gazed lovingly at the man next to him, a man that made him feel loved and needed, and he ran his hand over the dark hairs of Buck's chest. Unable to stop, he continued down until he reached the brunet's stomach, smiling to himself as the taught muscular abdomen hollowed to the touch as Wilmington's back arched in response.

A low growl fired Vin's senses and he traveled downward until he had Buck's formidable manhood firmly in his hand and began stroking it gently, rubbing his thumb over the now weeping slit of Buck's cock. Buck turned to look at his lover, passion and hunger turning his dark blue eyes almost black, as he raised a strong arm to cup the Texan's head and pull him into a hungry kiss.

As tongues fought for dominance, Vin's hand worked a little faster and he smiled into the kisses as he felt Buck's hips rock to gain more speed. Tanner pulled away from the warmth of his man's mouth, ignoring the yelp of protest and trailed kisses down Buck's quivering warm body, finally taking the rigid member into his mouth as he sucked and licked the brunet to the edge of ecstasy.


It was barely a whisper but it was all Tanner needed to drive his lover into their own special heaven as he worked his mouth more urgently now, thrilled at the way he had this wonderful man at his mercy.

Ignoring the brunet's almost frantic attachment to his long brown wavy hair as Buck entwined his fingers in the soft tresses, Vin took the sturdy member deep into his throat and seconds later heard the roar of pleasure as Buck's seed exploded into his eager mouth.

As Wilmington's spasming body began to relax, the Texan reversed his trail of kisses until he was once more plundering a willing mouth. Dark and light blue eyes met and stayed locked for a few moments, then Vin smiled as he lay his head on Buck's chest, relishing the strong arms wrapping around his body, as he cast his mind back to that eventful day one year ago.


Tanner checked his watch again, they were beyond late. He had been waiting for over an hour for two men who had promised him information on the whereabouts of gunrunner Henri Rodriguez. Vin guessed they must have changed their minds.

He and Buck had traveled to San Francisco to follow a lead, the rest of Team Seven recuperating after getting caught in a warehouse blast while attempting to apprehend Rodriguez. Buck had been reluctant to leave as JD had only recently been given the green light to leave hospital, but Chris had insisted the younger man could stay with him until Wilmington's return, which also pleased Vin as he felt it would be good for Larabee to have company, as he too was recovering from injuries from the blast.

Tanner dialed his cell.

"Buck...these guys are a no-show, can you come get me? Fifteen minutes? Thanks."

As Vin walked away from the deserted warehouse, a man appeared in front of him, a gun clearly pointing his way.

"So...ya finally showed up," Vin stated, trying to conceal the concern that was coursing through him, but soon lost the ability for rational thinking as a blow from behind caused his head to explode with lights and pain.

He was no sooner on the ground when his body was dragged back into the warehouse and assaulted from all directions by something, he would discover later, to be a boot. That was bad, but what came next froze the Texan's blood in his veins.

Rough hands turned him onto his back pulling his arms above his head and through the pain and haze he realized someone was attempting to remove his jeans and underpants. Fear won over pain and he summoned all his strength to fight off his assailants, but he quickly realized he was virtually helpless.

"NO...NOOO.. .Fuck off you bastards."

Vicious punches assaulted his already bruised face, moving to his ribs, but he was ignoring the freely flowing blood and the cracking of bones as all he could think about was that his knees were now almost next to his ears.

"Mister Rodriguez says hello."

Trying not to choke on his own blood, Tanner screamed in protest when he felt pressure as something was attempting to enter his anus.

"Go ahead and fight, boy...that's how I like it." the gruff voice whispered.

Vin turned his head to the side, unable to break free and desperately attempting to hide his shame, vaguely aware of gunfire as his mind closed down to the assault.

He was unconscious long before Buck, pulled his clothes in place and got him to the car.

+ + + + + + +

Buck had only fired on Vin's attackers to scare them away and get the Texan out of there. His mind and heart were racing as he saw the condition of his friend. A soft moan drew the brunet to the beaten and bleeding figure lying in the back seat of their rental car.

"Vin...easy, we have to get you to a hospital."

A surprisingly strong hand grasped Wilmington's wrist.

"N...no...hotel. ..please. "

Unable to argue the point due to the younger man passing out, and against all his natural instincts, Buck decided, for now, to comply with Vin's wishes, shaken by the desperation in the sharpshooter' s voice. He ensured Vin was comfortable then drove on to their hotel.

Bribing one of the porters, Buck manhandled Vin into a service elevator and succeeded in getting him to his room unseen. He laid the slim damaged body gently on the bed and collected up towels and water to bathe the wounds.

"Vin...Vin, can you hear me, junior?"

Receiving no response, he leaned in again.

"I'm gonna have to strip you Vin...I'm truly sorry, but I need to see what sort of damage those bastards done to ya."

In minutes, the Texan lay naked on the bed, allowing the brunet to see the enormity of the injuries. He set to cleaning the man up, starting with his face and working his way down to just below his ribs.

Buck didn't know why but he was trembling. He figured it was the shock of the attack, but found it a little disturbing that he was becoming aroused by the sight of the naked man lying before him.

Yep...definitely shock.

Vin was vaguely aware of someone talking to him but he was in no position to reply. Then he was cold. Oh God...was he still in the warehouse? He remained still for fear of his attackers still being there, but as time went on he felt calmed and drifted deeper into unconsciousness.

Buck had covered his friend with the comforter from his own room and had sat in the chair next to Vin's bed for several hours, unable to leave for fear of the injured man waking up. As if he knew Buck was considering calling Chris, Tanner started to wake. The brunet leaned in and offered the younger man a drink.

"Where 'm I?"

"Hotel pard...Vin.. ."

"No...no hospital. Buck."

Buck sighed, "At least let me call Chris."

Vin's eyes flew open. "NO! No...Please Buck...jus' you."

As he watched the sharpshooter drift back off, Buck was at a loss. He knew he should be doing more, but unless Vin's health deteriorated, he would allow the situation to continue...for now.

+ + + + + + +

Chris had called for an update, and Buck had appeased him for now with a tale explaining Vin was still trying to set up a meet. The fact that the meeting had already taken place and Vin had suffered an horrific attack as a result of it, Buck had chosen not to share with his team leader on this occasion, successfully buying them some time.

It had warmed his heart to talk to JD and hear his surrogate little brother was well on the road to a full recovery. He missed him and looked forward to spending some quality time with him when they returned.

A blood-curdling scream woke the brunet with such a force he wasn't quite sure where he was for a moment. Seeing Vin thrashing in the bed, he tried soothing the younger man, but it was not possible. By now, Buck had stripped to just his shorts for comfort, and in his desperation to protect his friend, he climbed into bed next to him and rocked the beaten body to soothe him.

Eventually the Texan settled, and surprised Buck by nestling into his bare chest, clearly comforted by the closeness. Wilmington settled back against the headboard and relaxed, pulling the younger man closer, confused when he caught himself smelling Vin's hair. Again, he put it down to the bizarre situation, and tried equally to ignore his cock stirring to life.

By the next morning, Vin was awake and coherent, Buck was still asleep and Vin had awoken realizing their precarious positions, but too tired to do anything about it. After drifting in and out of sleep and trying desperately to forget his ordeal, Vin turned his attentions to the man holding him in his arms. He had known Buck for two years and admired the man greatly. He loved spending time with Buck and JD, often envying the younger man's position. Buck clearly adored the boy, and didn't hide it well. They were close in every way and Vin had occasionally caught himself dwelling on their tactile relationship.

Buck shifted slightly and Vin found himself closer to the brunet's neck. An overwhelming sensation flowed through him and before he realized, he was kissing the exposed neck. Still practically asleep, Buck groaned and lowered his head just as Vin raised his and the Texan placed his lips on Buck's.

Completely absorbed in the moment, Wilmington hungrily kissed the eager mouth and soon both men were moving their hands over each others' hot wanton bodies as tongues and teeth clashed in a desperate quest to explore. Just as Buck slipped his hand onto Vin's exposed prick, reality hit them and they flew apart as if jolted by electricity.

Vin lay on the bed, fully exposed, his breaths coming in short heavy pants as he watched Buck leap to his feet and pace the floor, pushing shaking fingers through his hair as he did so. Finally, he spoke.

"God, Vin...I...I' m so sorry...I don't know what came over me...must've been dreaming or something."

Vin pulled the comforter over his naked body but his eyes never left Buck's pacing form for a moment. After what he'd been through, he figured the last thing he would have wanted was a man touching him in that way, yet the turmoil in his head now was not that they should be upset, but that he wanted the man before him to come back and finish what he himself had started.

Buck felt thoroughly ashamed, he had taken advantage of a sick man...a friend no less...what had he been thinking? And yet, as he cast a quick glance toward the man on the bed, he thought he saw desire in his eyes, not hate as he had expected.

"Vin..." he began, finally moving toward the still figure.

Vin threw back the bedding, exposing his all too obvious erection as his eyes scanned Buck's body, pleased to see his friend was faring no better. He was pleased...and that was the moment he made a decision. Vin held out his hand.


As if hypnotized, the brunet found himself standing next to the bed, his own hand reaching out to take Vin's.

"Buck," Vin continued, "I'll understand if you say no...and I can't explain what's happening right now...but... " he swallowed, his voice thick with desire. "I want you."

Buck was sure Vin must be delirious... that was it...he wasn't himself , yet his hand remained outstretched and Tanner clasped it tightly and pulled the larger man down onto the bed.

"Now." Vin growled.

Buck draped himself over the smaller man, his body shaking with desire, but where to begin? The man was black and blue. Vin took the initiative and captured Buck's mouth in a passionate kiss, then arched his neck, allowing the brunet access, and he happily obliged, licking and sucking the exposed flesh while working his way down to lave at taught sweet nipples. Knowing his body wasn't up to offering a full workout, Tanner pushed Buck's head toward his swollen cock, groaning with anticipation as a hot moist mouth took it firmly and worked it hard.

Reminded of Vin's ordeal, Buck was unsure but proceeded anyway. He rimmed Vin's ass lightly with a finger and was pleased with the response. Tanner's seed exploded into Buck's mouth as the Texan screamed out his orgasm. Not missing a beat, Buck used the pre-cum from his own engorged and ready prick to open his lover's ass as efficiently as possible, revelling in the younger man's squirms of delight. Buck placed the swollen head of his member at the entrance to the slicked rim, but hesitated.


The Texan's eyes flew open and he was overcome with affection as he realized what Buck was doing.

"Yes, Buck...please. ..this is how I want it to be...not on a warehouse floor with violence, but like this...with someone I care for. Help me Buck...show me how much you care...make love to me."

With glistening eyes Buck nodded and as they smiled to each other, he pushed his cock steadily into Vin's ass, and both men moaned at the pleasure it produced. Buck held for a moment, allowing for the adjustment, then thrust deep into Vin, thrilled at how Vin groaned and writhed with pleasure. Minutes later, two sweaty men collapsed into each other. Sated, tired and embracing tenderly, they drifted off to sleep.

When they awoke, they couldn't help but smile at each other, kissing softly as they tightened their embrace.

Buck chuckled. "I'm not sure which is gonna be hardest to explain to Larabee...this, or you looking like an abstract painting of a bruise."

Vin nodded sleepily. "Yeah...good luck with that, lover boy."

+ + + + + + +

The trip home from San Francisco had been a reasonably quiet one. Vin had felt as if everyone was staring at them, convincing himself their dirty little secret was out and completely missing the fact that his face was various shades of blue through to yellow. Buck had insisted no one collect them from the airport, using the excuse that the team was still recuperating, hoping to delay the inevitable, even if it was only for a little while.

On the drive to the ranch, the sharpshooter could stand it no longer and rested his hand on Buck's thigh, stroking it gently as they continued on their way
as he thought back to the previous night.

Buck had run a nice hot bath for the Texan, going to the trouble of buying special oils to sooth his injuries. For a while, Tanner had been left to soak, enjoying the warmth as the water enveloped and soothed his aching form. He had almost drifted off when a tiny squeak alerted him to the door of the bathroom being opened, but he kept his eyes closed.

"Sit forward."

Buck's voice was soft and sensual and Vin could feel his groin surge to life as the man gently ran a dripping cloth across his shoulders and back, moving around to Vin's chest and abdomen and eventually his groin.

Tanner groaned softly and shuddered with pleasure as Buck released the cloth and began stroking and teasing his lover's swelling prick. Vin arched his neck back and Buck nuzzled it.

"Buck." he whispered.

"Shh...Buck's gonna make it all better." The brunet pulled and rubbed the younger man to the brink of ecstasy several times, slowing just as he became aware of Vin's imminent orgasm.

"Oh...God, Buck...please...God please."

Wilmington took the Texan's mouth in a fierce kiss and eventually brought him to release, the sharpshooter coming so hard he almost blacked out, while realizing the screaming in his ears was actually himself.

Still shuddering from the release, Vin opened his eyes as he felt strong arms pulling him close.

"See," the brunet grinned, "All better."

But that was last night, today, however, Buck had seemed distant and a little cold. Wondering if he was imagining it, and smiling as he felt Buck's jeans begin to tighten from his actions, the next words spoken chilled his heart.

"Not now, junior...we're almost there and I don't want to arrive with a hard on."

+ + + + + + +

JD was positively bouncing. He loved spending time with Chris but he had missed Buck terribly. If JD was injured or ill, his roommate would lavish attention on him until he was better, and while Chris had been a more than attentive host, the blond was suffering too and their time together had been more subdued than usual, although JD hoped that would change soon.

"They're here!" The youngest of Team Seven limped out to the porch, and gasped as Vin exited the vehicle.

"FUCK A DUCK... what happened to you?"

Buck chuckled as he joined Tanner, so much for the discreet approach.

As JD stared, Buck closed the gap between them and gave the youth a big bear hug. JD grunted.

"Gerroff ya idiot," he groaned, while gratefully leaning in to the strong body.

Vin couldn't help but laugh as Buck knuckled the younger man's head. Their happy reunion was soon halted by the obvious arrival of their leader.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Larabee growled, eyeing Tanner up and down.

Vin started to speak, Buck got in first. "Why don't we take this inside, stud...we can talk over coffee."

+ + + + + + +

The four men were sitting in the living room, focusing on Buck. By the time Wilmington was finished, Larabee was furious, JD was distressed, Tanner withdrawn and Buck hated himself for not telling the whole truth, but Vin had been very specific about not reporting the full details. The blond stood and walked over to Vin, lifting the younger man's chin and turning the Texan's head left and right to inspect the damage.

"Stand up."

Vin complied, he knew it was useless to argue the point, sighing as Chris lifted his shirt to reveal the ugly bruising to the slim body.

"Oh, God...Vin," JD whispered.

Vin wanted to look at his youngest friend but couldn't bring his head up to see the pain in the younger man's eyes. Chris silently picked up his jacket and keys.

"Hospital...now. " He glowered at Buck, "I'll talk to you later."

Buck and JD watched as the two men left. Dunne looked across at his big brother, realizing something was terribly wrong. He left the sofa and walked over to perch on the arm of the chair Buck was sitting in.


Wilmington took the youth completely by surprise as he pulled the smaller body close and buried his head in the younger man's chest, heart wrenching sobs wracking his body as warm tears penetrated JD's thin shirt.

Instinctively Dunne embraced his friend to offer comfort, choking up himself, though he had no idea why. Finally Buck composed himself.

"What the hell happened in San Francisco, Buck? You're scaring the hell outta me here."

"Let's go into the kitchen, kid." the brunet suggested. They made coffee and JD sat on the kitchen table with his feet resting on the chair Buck was sitting on. He waited for Buck to begin.

The easterner sat impassively as Buck told him everything, eventually smiling, much to Buck's surprise.

"I think Vin's had the hots for you for some time actually," Dunne informed. Buck frowned. JD explained.

"Me and Vin do a lot of sports together, yeah? Just lately he's been asking a lot of questions about you...you know...those sort of questions, so I kinda guessed."

Buck stared, "And you don't mind?"

"Why should I? I love both of you. Do you love me any less since it happened?"

Buck stood and embraced his friend. "Oh God, kid...of course not. You'll always be my pain-in-the- ass little brother."

Both men laughed as they pulled away.

"So, let me get this straight...you' re regretting it now?"

Buck saddened again, "I feel so bad, kid. The man was in pain, vulnerable...I should have been strong...I...I took advantage of his need to be cared for."

"So...you raped him?"

Buck looked mortified.

"Didn't think so. Do you want to be with him, Buck?"

The brunet nodded, "Yes...I just don't know where to go from here."

"Would you like for me to talk to him...gauge his feelings?"

Buck thought for a moment then nodded. "Would you do that...for me?"

Dunne got down from the table and looked the man in the eye, "Shit Buck...I'd die for you...what do you think?"

They stared at each other for the longest time, finally moving away. JD looked back toward Buck.

"Does this mean I have to move out of the loft?"

Buck grinned, "You try it and I'll damn well lock you in your room."

JD chuckled, "I'll take that as a no then."

+ + + + + + +

Chris was waiting. All the way to the hospital, at the hospital and on their way back to the ranch, Tanner had barely spoken. Finally he could take no more and pulled over, cutting the engine.

Vin looked up from the floor of the truck.

"What's wrong?"

"I was just wondering the same thing. Care to fill me in as to what really happened in San Francisco?" the blond asked.

Vin sighed, then nodded. Slowly he went over what happened after the attack. He concluded.

"I have deep feelings for him Chris...I have for some time now...I...I'm sorry. I'll have my resignation ready for you by tomorrow."

Larabee turned Vin toward him. "Why?"

"Well...this changes everything...doesn' t it?"

"Are you saying we can't be friends any more, Vin?"

The Texan shook his head, "Oh God...no...at least...I hope we can."

Chris nodded. "You're like a brother to me, Vin. All I want is for you to be happy, and if that's with Buck...well, so be it. Buck's a good man, I can't think of anyone who could care for you more."

"Except..." Vin began, "Except I think he may be having second thoughts."

The blond smiled, "Clearly you two need to talk, but not tonight, tonight you relax and tomorrow...well, tomorrow's another day."

+ + + + + + +

As he lay in bed that night, more than aware of just a wall between him and Buck, Vin kept going over things again and again in his mind, just as he had on the way to the hospital, while he waited for treatment, and on the ride back to the ranch. No matter how he approached it, he kept coming to the same conclusion, he believed he had lost everything he valued because he had wanted more than, he believed, life should allow him to have.

It had been a mistake, he should have done nothing, but he was hurting so bad, had felt so alone and helpless, and if there was one thing he hated feeling, it was helpless. He made a move on Buck...he had wanted to for a long time, but he should have known better, something like love was for other people not for him. He simply wasn´t worthy of anyone´s love, Lord knows he'd had enough experiences to draw on to prove his point. None of the foster parents, or any of the other kids alone, like him, and definitely not the two women he had thought he loved, had really cared about him or loved him. He had often wondered why and what was he doing wrong, until finally he decided not to try anymore. It wouldn´t hurt if he didn´t look for love, so it didn't matter that he couldn´t find it.

When he joined Team Seven the others all seemed to like him, hell he had a friend in Chris most people would kill for. JD joined the team and they quickly became great friends. He really envied JD at times, the easy relationship he had with everyone, especially Buck. Oh, he enjoyed his friendship with Chris but that was all it would ever be, a friendship, they were too much alike for anything else. Besides, he knew someone else had his eye on Chris and he wasn´t one to encroach on someone else´s territory. Then there was Buck, he was searching for love as much as Vin once had been, only he appeared to be enjoying the search a hell of a lot more than Vin ever had. Buck had so much love in him that Vin had secretly hoped the brunet could find it in his heart to love him the way he needed to be loved.

But he had been wrong and Vin was now sure Buck had made it clear before they reached the ranch that what happened between them was just a pity fuck. Buck felt sorry for him after the attack and had simply wanted to make him feel better. At the time, Vin's heart had soared at the thought they were making love, now it was obvious that it was only sex. Buck had sex with him because he felt sorry for him...not because he cared or had feelings for him.

Tanner's heart ached so much, Buck was one of the most caring men he had ever met, and now he felt he had wrecked everything with his actions. Buck was already pulling away, and probably soon they wouldn´t even be friends. The others would sense the tension and the team would cease to function as they should. He might have to leave the team, probably even leave Denver. With one stupid gamble on love he had thrown away everything, the team, their camaraderie, his friendships with Chris and JD, it might all soon be gone because he had forgotten life´s main lesson, he wasn´t worth a damn.

+ + + + + + +

JD lay quietly in bed. After Buck headed to bed, he hadn't known what to think about Buck´s confession and their conversation. Although he had tried to tell the brunet that he hadn´t taken advantage of Vin while he was in shock from the rape attempt, he knew Buck wasn´t truly convinced, and that was a damn shame because Vin needed someone like Buck, someone who could love so completely and passionately. Vin and JD had often talked about such things so the easterner had known for some time that Vin wanted someone to love and to be loved in return.

JD had actually considered making a move on Vin himself, but wasn't ready just yet to settle down into a loving, committed, long-term relationship, the kind of relationship Vin was looking for. Tanner even showed an interest in pursuing a short-term relationship with JD, shortly before the warehouse incident and had considered the sharpshooter might have had real feelings for him, but Dunne had told Vin he should look for someone who was ready to commit...something he surely wasn't ready for yet...was he?

Vin was definitely JD's type, attractive, strong and quiet with a sound sense of justice and honorable values. Of course, Vin wasn´t the only member of the team that fitted that description. A strong hand on his abdomen and a tender kiss to his shoulder broke JD from his musings.

"Where are you, John Dunne? Come back to me."

JD arched and sighed as the hand stroked lower, leaning his head back to capture an attentive willing mouth as it nipped and sucked on his neck, jaw and lips. Dunne spun around to face sultry green eyes, kissing his lover passionately before pulling back for a moment, his arms draped around the blond's neck. He looked at Chris...he still couldn't believe this man he had adored for the longest time had even looked twice at him in that way.

"Spit it out." The man drawled.

"What if you know two people should be together yet because of a misunderstanding they're almost too far apart to see it?"

"And you're worried about this because...?"

"Aw come on, Chris...I don't believe you're not worried about Buck and Vin, too. Vin is already closing himself off, I could see that when they arrived. I know it's because of the way Buck pulled back out of feelings of guilt and Vin has been disappointed too many times in the past by the men and women he loved, he doesn´t need it to happen again, especially with a friend. He told me that he couldn´t go through that again, that he was convinced he would never have anyone. I almost told him he could have me if only he was willing to wait."

Chris growled and pushed the easterner onto his back, his kissing and rubbing making it more than clear the young man was his. Catching his breath, JD continued. Chris rested his head on his lover's chest as he listened.

"The thing is, should I convince Vin that Buck was just feeling guilty and he needs to take the lead in their relationship? I know that´s what Vin wants to hear but is it the truth? What if Buck has feelings for someone else but is denying them...am I gonna make things worse and end up hurting Vin even more?"

Larabee raised his head and looked deep into the young man's eyes.

"Who else does Buck have feelings for?"

JD raised an eyebrow, his gaze locked.

"Me?" Chris rolled onto his side and then to his back, pulling the younger man with him. "Vin has no worries there, kid...Buck and me are definitely history."

JD grinned, "So...I should talk to Vin...tell him it's gonna be okay?"

Chris kissed him hard. "Yes, now...my dick is so hard for you I could probably go all night, so put those clever hands of yours to work or I'm going to have to seriously punish you."

JD nipped the end of the blond's nose, "Hell, couldn't ya just punish me anyway?"

Chris' laugh was deep and throaty, "C'm 'ere."


Vin hadn't been able to sleep. A week ago was his and Buck's 'anniversary' and for some reason it had stirred up all manner of things for the Texan.

JD came into his thoughts and he smiled fondly. If it wasn't for the chat they had had after San Francisco, Vin would likely still be single now.


Chris had made it clear to JD the morning after Buck and Vin had arrived home from San Francisco, he wanted to talk privately with Buck. JD took that as needing to make himself scarce, which suited him fine, it would give him the opportunity to drive Vin home and talk to him.

Half-way to Vin's, JD pulled over and cut the engine. Vin frowned.

"Problem, kid?"

JD turned to him. "Depends."

"Depends on what?" Vin asked.

"Depends on you and Buck waking up to yourselves and fixing things between you."

Vin's face saddened and he turned his head down to look at the floor of the truck.

JD folded his arms and sat back. "Fine...I got all day."

After a few minutes Vin looked at him. "What do you want me to say? The guy woke up to himself and realized he'd made a mistake. No big deal, it's not like it's the first time it's happened to me, and it likely won't be the last."

"Aww...diddums...poor Vin...so hard done by."

Tanner glared at him.

"Why are you always so down on yourself in these matters, Tanner?" JD continued. "I got you in one corner crying 'pity fuck' and Buck in the other crying 'rape'. Is there the remotest possibility you two can meet in the middle somehow and realize you're wasting precious time?"

"Why is he crying 'rape'?"

"He thinks he took advantage of you."

"But I initiated it."


Tanner laughed and it was music to JD's ears.

"Vin, I know Buck. The guy's fallen for you big time, but he thinks you might not really feel the same. And now it would seem you've been thinking the same thing. Maybe your first time wasn't under the best circumstances, but it was borne of the real feelings you'd been harboring for each other. You need each other, Vin. Give yourselves a chance."

"How? How can I go back after all this awkwardness, JD?"

JD smiled and started the engine. "Leave the details to me, you just do one thing...as brash as Buck can be, this has unsettled him because...he's fallen in love. Next time you're together...make the first move...fuck his brains out...then talk."

The youth looked down as a hand rested on his knee.

"He...he loves me?"

JD grinned, "Yeah."

Vin leaned in and kissed JD on the lips. "When did you get so wise?"

Dunne chuckled, "I watched Oprah when I was younger."

The journey back to Vin's was suddenly a much more light-hearted affair.

+ + + + + + +

Buck answered his phone. "What's up squirt?"

"Buck...I got a problem. Can you come get me? I'm at Vin's."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah...hurry, will ya?"

Buck tried not to worry, but JD had sounded odd. As he knocked on Tanner's door he could hardly wait for him to open it, pushing past him when he did.

"Where is he?"

Tanner frowned, "Do come in...where's who?"

"Don't fuck about...JD...where is he...what's wrong?"

"Buck...have you gone loco? JD dropped me home over two hours ago."

"He just called me and asked me to come get him." Both men were confused then both looked at their cells as they received a text message.


Vin and Buck looked up at the same time. Vin clicked instantly and launched himself at the brunet, kissing frantically in the hope it would be returned.

Buck did better than that and lifted the Texan into the air and carried him into the bedroom, laying him back on the bed and stripping him naked in seconds. Buck kissed the writhing man all over, taking a weeping cock deep into his mouth and working it as hard as he could.

Vin gasped at the onslaught and reveled in the deliciousness of it as he quickly climbed to ecstasy.

"Buck...Oh Buck..."

He screamed his orgasm and the next thing he was aware of was being held in warm strong arms against a naked body. He looked up into smiling dark blue eyes.

"I love you Vin."

Tanner laced his arms around Buck's neck and kissed him deeply. Finally breaking off he looked at the man. "I love you too, Buck."

"So...let me get this straight," Buck pondered, licking and kissing Vin's face. "JD attempted to give me a near-heart attack so we could go at it?"

Vin grinned and nodded.

"Damn. Gotta love that kid. I'm still gonna smack him one for scaring me though."


A warm hand on his abdomen broke Vin from his daydreaming.

"Make love to me Vin."

Tanner turned to Buck. "It's the Rodriguez bust today."

Buck nodded, trying to pull his man closer to him.

"I was thinking about San Francisco...the talk me and JD had...then our night together...but mostly...I keep thinkin' on that warehouse."

"Vin...I know it's a bad memory for ya...but we're gonna get the bastard today and pay him back for what he tried to do to you and what he did to the team."

As Buck talked, his hands stroked and teased the sharpshooter' s body as he tried to arouse him. He wanted his man inside him and he wasn't about to be subtle about it. The moan he got was music to his ears. He guided Vin's hand to his ass and waited while he stroked Vin's cock to life. Passion ignited in the Texan and his fingers began to rim the brunet's hole. Buck rolled onto his back and let it all happen, shuddering as he felt the cold lubricant on the hot puckered skin followed by two long agile fingers.

Vin was hungry now and wanted to eradicate his earlier thoughts. Without mercy, he lifted Buck's muscular legs and drove his cock home hard and fast, relishing the man beneath him howling with pleasure. Buck pulled himself off at the same time and at the point they both climaxed they collapsed with exhaustion as their bodies shuddered with the release.

"Damn Vin...I think you reached my tonsils with that one," Buck said finally.

Tanner laughed and gently removed his softening prick from his lover's ass, kissed him, then headed for the shower.

As Buck watched him go, he replayed Tanner's earlier comments, thinking back himself on what Chris had said to him earlier that very day one year ago.


Walking in from the kitchen with two cold beers, Buck sat on the sofa after handing one beer to Chris. He took a long drink before confronting the blond, after all there was no point in putting off the inevitable... Larabee wanted to talk, so they would talk.

"They're gone," Buck stated the obvious, "So I guess now we can have that talk you're hankering for. That's why you got rid of JD and Vin, isn't it?"

Chris didn't hesitate as he began his heated admonishment to Buck for his actions in San Francisco.

"Buck, why didn't you take Vin to the hospital. Just what were you thinking? He could've had serious injuries. A beating like that can cause internal bleeding or worse." Chris stopped and took a steadying breath, he knew he had let his anger show and he needed to get control before he continued.

When Chris paused, Buck could see him make the attempt to reign in his temper. The next time Chris spoke, it was in a much more calm and reasonable tone.

"Protocol requires that you, as senior agent have him looked over at the scene and if the paramedics feel it's necessary, he goes to the emergency room. You not only ignored protocol you didn't even take him yourself.

"What aren't you telling me, Buck? You're too good an agent, hell, a man to take a chance like that with a friend's life."

Buck merely sat there, then suddenly got up and went over to the liquor cabinet. After pouring them each a stiff drink and bringing it over, he sat down again.

"It wasn't my call to make, it was Vin's. He didn't want to go and I wasn't about to make him. And don't give me all that senior agent bullshit, hell Larabee, you're the team leader and you know only too well you are a law unto yourself in situations like that.

"Listen, stud, Vin was hurt bad, not just physically hurt, but mentally and emotionally too. Rodriquez's men assaulted him...I got there just in time to prevent the actual rape, but Vin wouldn't go to a hospital. I don't think he could handle having it on public record, maybe even have to talk about it in court some day." The brunet idly swirled his drink around in the glass.

"I took him back to the room, just like you would've, Chris. I tended to his injuries myself and made sure he wasn't bleeding into his abdomen. If he had shown any signs, then I would've got him help, but he wasn't so I let him call the shots. You would have done no different if you'd been there. I stayed with him in his room the whole time, making sure his condition didn't get any worse.

"He made me promise not to tell you about the assault, but hell, he surely didn't mean it. We both know he doesn't mind you knowing, just so long as it isn't ever mentioned between you."

Chris considered Buck's words for a moment before he answered.

"I won't ever mention it. I asked him on the ride back from the hospital last night what had happened. He never mentioned the assault but he did mention what had happened between you two at the hotel." Chris stopped talking to give Buck a chance to respond to his last remark. He knew his old friend, his former lover, and knew he was having doubts about what had happened.

Buck sighed deeply and stared into the near-empty glass, knocking back the remaining liquid.

"I messed up, Chris. I was attracted to Vin and I listened to my heart and my body instead of my head. I took advantage of that boy when he was hurting, vulnerable, confused and upset."

Buck looked down at his hands, the hands that had caressed Vin's body so lovingly in the hotel room, as if they were evil appendages that should be removed. He wasn't recalling the pleasure they had given Vin but rather seeing them as weapons that had hurt the man he loved.

As if he could read his friend's mind, Chris spoke.

"Seems to me Vin isn't a boy, Buck, he's a man. A man who knows what he wants, takes what he wants. Seems to me, he wanted what you were offering that day or he would have told you no. Vin Tanner isn't helpless, even when he's hurting like that. There is no way you could do something to him he didn't want.

"It doesn't matter how physically bigger you are, he could have stopped you. All he had to say was one word, no, and both you and I know that would have ended it. You don't take advantage Buck, you give a person your heart and soul, shower them with love, hell JD's testimony to that. Vin's a lucky man to have you.

"The problem is, he's already afraid he's lost you. He's afraid what you did was out of pity, that he initiated everything and you just went along 'cause you felt sorry for him. If you really want to be with him, you need to get him out of that mindset and fast. You need to go and talk to him, before it's too late."

Buck was distressed at the thought Vin didn't know how he felt as the tears welled in his eyes. "He said that...those very words...a pity fuck?"

Buck wanted to go and talk to Vin right there and then but how could he begin to tell him how he felt? He hadn't been in love with anyone other than Chris, never had to tell someone he wanted to be with them for more than just a night. He really wanted to leave and head back to his place, but first there was another matter he'd been meaning to discuss with Chris for some time, something that was just as important. This seemed like the ideal opportunity.

"Chris, before I leave, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about. This thing between you and JD, you're not going to hurt him are you? He has a bad case of hero worship that I think he's translated into love and I don't want to see him getting hurt.

"You've been together a couple of months now, you only lasted six weeks with Mary. You don't have lasting relationships and I need to know just what your intentions are toward JD."

Chris laughed softly. "What are you, his dad?" He held up his hands to ward off the glare Wilmington was sending his way.

"No, wait...I understand," Chris decided to respond even though he wasn't entirely happy about discussing his feelings toward JD with Buck. But he knew Buck was fiercely protective of JD's well-being and this couldn't be avoided any longer.

"I understand you care about JD and you want what's best for him. I'm not sure that's me, but for what it's worth, I love him. I'm not in love with him, but I do love him, very much.

"I don't plan on hurting him and I don't aim to walk away from this anytime soon. In fact, as JD gets to know me better, I have the feeling he'll be the one that walks away from this first.

"I'm fine for a short term affair, but for the long haul, I think he'll look somewhere else. And I'm alright with that. I've had my love of a lifetime, both male and female. I had Sarah and I had you. Sarah died and I've accepted that. There will never be another woman for me, being with Mary proved that.

"You and me, well we survived a lot, including me falling in love with Sarah and walking away, but we just couldn't survive the guilt of coming back together, we were destroying each other, and it was right to end it. But I know now, I will never feel for another man the way I felt about you, I don't want or need it.

"JD and me will be fine. We will stay together, because no matter what you may think...we are damned good together, but when he wants to walk away I'll let him. Until then, he will be loved and cared for, needed and wanted, don't you worry about that, Dad."

Buck looked over at the first man he had ever been with, the first man he ever loved and nodded his acceptance and the sincerity of Chris' words, and also realized that as much as he once loved Chris, he now loved Vin. He had lost Chris by not taking action when needed. He vowed there and then that wouldn't happen with Vin. Tomorrow he would make Vin Tanner realize just how much he meant to him, and pray it wasn't too late.


As if to make amends for his thoughts, Buck walked into the bathroom and opened the shower cubicle. He pushed the soapy Texan against the glass, kissing his back and neck and turning his head to capture his mouth in a deep and passionate and loving kiss. Rubbing soap on his engorged prick, Buck unceremoniously pushed Vin's legs apart, tilted his ass and rammed into him over and over until the man screamed in ecstasy as he was filled with his lover's seed.

In less than half an hour, they were on their way to join the rest of Team Seven.

+ + + + + + +

Vin had been on his high perch for over an hour and he was starting to get stiff. Ezra was doing his usual sterling job, but Rodriguez was clearly stalling. Chris knew Ezra had been made...was counting on it. He wanted Rodriguez badly and knew the man to be arrogant enough to deal with this himself.

Sniffer dogs had already located the explosives that had been planted and Chris was ready to give the signal. All he was waiting for was one voice.

"Heads up guys, his limo's here."

Chris grinned at JD's words and wondered if he needed a lesson in protocol. He quickly dismissed that thought as it lead to ideas of just how he could punish that hot little body. That would definitely come later.

Rodriguez walked away and toward his limo. His sudden turn told them that whatever button located in his jacket pocket he'd pressed as he walked away, hadn't quite had the desired effect.

A shot from high from Vin to the car's tires told Chris it was on and they moved in as they called on Team Eight for assistance.

In less than ten minutes Chris was waving goodbye to the gunrunner as he was taken away in a squad car. The team gathered, all buzzing with victory.

"I hope we will be going to the Saloon to celebrate," Josiah wondered out loud.

"Oh yeah!" was the unanimous reply.

+ + + + + + +

Chris sat back as he watched his team relaxing, chuckling as JD wound them up until they all dived on him. God he loved that boy's energy.

Vin and Buck were joining in but it was obvious they were mentally planning their own private celebration. Chris felt his cock twitch and tried to focus on something else. He watched JD get up and duck a barrage of coasters as he headed for the men's' room. Half a minute later he followed his young tech in.

As JD was washing his hands he was aware of the door opening but didn't look up. As he heard a chair scrape the floor he finally looked, but before he registered anything he was pressed against the washbasins as a hungry mouth overwhelmed him. At first he could barely catch his breath but eventually he recovered and returned the frantic kisses while hands groped and stroked.

"Chris..." He breathed.

The blond hoisted the smaller man up onto the washbasin and would have fucked him then and there but he broke off and leaned his head against JD's and sighed.

"Will you come home with me tonight?"

The emotion in Chris' voice took the young tech by surprise and he raised Chris' face to look into his eyes.

"Chris...you never need to ask me that. Are you okay?"

"I will be. I need you...will you come now?"

JD nodded. "Sure, I'll just say goodbye to Buck and the guys."

With a nod, Chris dropped JD back to the floor, then walked toward the door, removed the chair that he had jammed the bathroom door with, and left.

JD said his goodbyes, finishing with Buck. "CDC's all yours, bro," he whispered.

He winked at the older man and Buck laughed.

'Night squirt...'night Chris."

Nathan watched them leave. "Nice of Chris to see JD gets home safely."

Four pairs of eyes looked around as they all picked up their drinks.

Buck smirked. "Oh yeah, there's nothing Chris likes better than to drive JD home."

Ezra sputtered his beer as the others choked back a laugh. Nathan frowned.

"I get the feelin' I'm missin' somethin' here."

+ + + + + + +

Buck could barely get in through the door to his apartment and he was stripping Vin's clothes off. Vin was as bad and in less than a minute they were naked and kissing hungrily. Buck pulled back.


He trotted off to a cupboard close to the stairs to his room and brought out a comforter. Buck brought it over to the imitation log fire and laid it on the wood floor just in front of it. Tanner instantly lay down and Buck swallowed at the beautiful sight before him.

"All yours."

Vin's invitation was all it took to ignite the heated passion simmering inside the brunet and it was all he could do not to attack the Texan. Instead he kneeled at the man's feet and took a foot in his hand. Raising it to his lips, he kissed and licked the soft underside, taking a toe at a time and sucking them. As Vin moaned softly, Buck worked his way up to the knee, licking and kissing the back of it. He smiled as Vin arched and whimpered. Buck then switched to the other knee and did it all again in reverse order, finishing with the other foot.

He took Vin's legs and placed the feet flat to the floor, the knees bent and he pushed the limbs wide apart. Satisfied, the brunet moved to the insides of Vin's thighs and lightly brushed them with his lips, eliciting another groan. He blew the rim of Vin's ass and smiled as the hole contracted then opened again, he then licked the hardened balls above it, moving to the base of Tanner's erect penis.

Vin's head was swimming as feelings of complete bliss overwhelmed him and he just relaxed into it, arching and writhing as his swollen cock was taken deep into a hot moist mouth. While working Vin's cock, Buck was widening the Texan's hole and was soon brushing against the sweet spot within.

"Oh Fuck...do it...DO IT!" Tanner was begging and he didn't care, howling his orgasm as he came hard and long. Showing no mercy, Buck raised the toned ass and placed his now weeping member at the hole and drove in hard. He gave Vin a few moments to adjust then rammed home with a need he couldn't and wouldn't apologize for. Vin was right there with him, moving any way he could to bring his lover and himself to paradise.

Buck roared as his seed erupted to fill his Texan's ass, Tanner screamed as his sweet spot took the hit that sent him over the edge.

Buck collapsed exhausted and sated, just having enough energy to pull the comforter over their throbbing and spent bodies.

The two lovers snuggled together and started to drift into a serene sleep.

They had come a long way in a year, and knew they had a lot to be thankful for, as their healing love had given them both a contentment and security they had searched long and hard for and would never take for granted. For now...their lives were complete.