Warnings: brief flashback to abuse of a child
Disclaimers: Not mine; never were, never will be. Heavy sigh. I'm not making any money on them - obviously. But hey, you can't put a price on having lots and lots of fun, right?
Every time I read someone's introduction to a story that it's their first story, it makes me wonder why they put that there. Are they trying to say "don't expect too much, and if it isn't good it isn't my fault." So now that this is my first story I want to say "don't over-expect, and if it isn't good it isn't my fault" - ha!
Thank you so much to Sue N. and Ruby J., who both graciously let me borrow their combined teen back-story for Vin when he was a homeless teenager.
No beta. I was too nervous to let anyone else read it. (Okay - I never said it made any sense, since everyone on the site can read it now.)
Feedback is appreciated: Flames will probably make me cry.
Size: Approx. 600K
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"Goddammit, Tanner!"Chris raised his head up from his paperwork at the sound of Buck bellowing out in the main office. He sighed, partly in frustration, but tried not to let a half-smile show while he got up to see what was going on out there. Vin Tanner had been a part of Chris Larabee's Team Seven - The Magnificent Seven, if their nickname was to be believed - for just under a year. Tanner had stayed in the background for those first several weeks, blending into the shadows and rarely speaking up. Sometimes his silence spooked them, the others clearly startled when he added a soft comment to their conversation. The rest of the time he just watched, his deep blue eyes wary and guarded, not giving away anything.
Gradually, though, he'd grown to trust them, and in the last few months they had found out, many of them the hard way, what a wicked sense of humor he really had. It appeared as though Buck was the butt of one of his infamous practical jokes today.
Chris took a deep breath and let it out before opening the door. He knew just the time Vin's sense of adventure had started revealing itself, and it was just about the time the two of them had become lovers.
"What's going on out here?" he snapped, flinging open the door and glaring at them.
Josiah and Nathan stopped what they were doing, merely waiting for the coming explosion. They were secure in the knowledge that they had nothing to do with it. Not only that, they were secure in the knowledge that they wouldn't be blamed.
Ezra looked peeved at having once again been part of the scolding when he hadn't had any part of the prank.
JD turned bright red and started stammering.
"It's not my fault..., I I didn't know..., I wouldn't have done it if I knew that..., I mean...,"
Larabee held up a hand to stop the flow of babble from their youngest team member.
"Buck...?"
"I was sittin' here, having my coffee, like usual," Buck explained, glaring between a panicked JD and a too-calm Vin. "I was talking to Shannon, you know, the stewardess? She's got the longest dark hair and legs that go on forever - "
"Buck!"
"Oh. Right. Well, anyway, she's in town, callin' up old Buck here for some, uh, romance, and I didn't have a pen. So I asked JD to give me his pen..."
"At which point," Ezra interrupted, looking pained, "they started fighting like a pair of five-year-olds, when JD refused to part with his 'special' pen."
"Hey! That's my favorite pen! Casey gave it to me for Christmas. It writes upside down, just like the astronauts use!" JD glared at them.
"Oh, sweet honey mustard," Josiah rumbled, shaking his head.
"So I just went to pull open his own desk drawer," JD was almost whining now, pleading his innocence. "I know he's got to have a pen in that mess. How was I supposed to know it was full of pop-up snakes?"
Chris took a slightly longer look at Vin. He'd seen that calm before. And those wide, too-innocent blue eyes with a hint of wickedness gleaming in them. God, Chris loved that little-boy look he got in times like these. He felt his pants growing uncomfortably tighter.
"Hell, Bucklin," Vin drawled, his voice low and raspy. "Never figured ya t' be scair't a no itty bitty plastic toys."
"You could ruin a guy, sneaking up on him like that when he's all, er, in the mood," Buck growled, reaching a long arm out toward the sharpshooter, who scooted out of reach.
Tanner grinned, and Ezra tried not to look like he was smirking, while even Nathan and Josiah started chuckling. JD still looked a heart-beat away from peeing his pants.
It was only then that Chris saw the coffee. Coffee that had splashed all over Buck, his clothes, his desk, and his chair. Including some that had landed on the offending plastic spring snakes.
"Just..., clean it up," Chris growled. "Everyone, get back to work. If you don't have enough to keep you busy, believe me, I can find something. JD, help Buck. Get him some paper towels or something. Tanner, my office."
Vin stood up slowly, and Buck glared at him when he walked by. Vin slid carefully around another desk, taking the long way to Larabee's office.
"Uh, hope that Miz Shannon still wants ta see ya," Vin looked at Buck with a mixture of empathy and something else Buck couldn't quite name. "I'd hate ta think she was off put by the fact you're scared a pens 'r somethin'."
"Goddammit, Tanner!"
Vin scooted into Chris's office, shutting the door behind him. When he turned from latching the door he suddenly found himself grabbed from behind, spun around, and pressed hard back into the wall beside the door and away from the view anyone might have from the office windows.
Strong hands gripped his waist, and Chris leaned down to press a rough, hard kiss into those full, lush lips. Vin had tensed at first, automatically reacting with fear. Then when he realized it was his lover and not someone going to hurt him, he melted and leaned into the kiss. His arms moved up and long slender fingers gripped muscled biceps. Chris pressed harder into the lean frame, wedging his knee between strong thighs.
"Mmmm...," Vin moaned breathlessly.
Chris broke off the kiss, leaning back enough to see into that beautiful upturned face. He moved his hands from the small waist, and brought them up to cup the strong jaw between his hands, bending down to place a light kiss on the now slightly swollen lips.
"God, I love you, Vin," he whispered softly.
"Love you, too, Cowboy," Vin whispered back, his eyes shining.
Chris stepped back and away. He realized that bringing Tanner into his office was probably a mistake. If he didn't stop this now, he'd be bending the lean agent over his desk and fucking his brains out. That would give their team something to talk about, that's for sure.
"I know you're bored, Vin," Chris said, leaning down to place a light kiss on that perfect, straight nose. "But try to concentrate on your work a little more, and spend a little less time tormenting your teammates?"
Vin pouted. "Yer no fun. 'Sides, ain't sayin' it was me."
Chris snorted.
"Mysterious missing pens, exploding desk drawers, spilled coffee during one of Buck's date phone calls? Seems to me that has Vin Tanner written all over it."
"Well, mebbe I need someone ta teach me th' error a m' ways," Vin rasped, his voice like honey and whiskey over sandpaper.
Chris groaned. He swore that Vin could make him come with his voice alone. Add those eyes and that hair and that face and chiseled body, and it was impossible to function.
"Go," Chris insisted. Even to his own ears it sounded more like he was saying 'stay.'
"Could use a strong hand, ta take me ta task," Vin persisted. He stretched up and nipped at Chris's earlobe with sharp white teeth.
The taller man gasped as a jolt of desire sent all the blood rushing to his groin. His knees weakened and Vin took advantage of that by pulling Chris closer to him.
Chris knew in his mind that he had to stop this right now, but his body was protesting with everything in it.
"Vin..., we gotta stop..."
Lips were tracing the shell of his ear and down his throat until Chris was nearly trembling with need.
"Don't.... stop...."
Vin's hands were all over Chris, and both of them were breathing heavily.
"Vin. Vin!" Chris's whisper was harsh. He managed to get ahold of himself enough to push away, keeping a distance from the hard muscled body of his lover in order to get back some control. This was a mistake to bring Vin in here. Well, okay. The mistake was kissing him.
"Shit, Larabee," Vin muttered. "Ya don't play fair."
"I know. It was my mistake. I just..., seeing you out there, that little smirk on your face, seeing you looking all happy and sexy as hell...."
A tiny smile quirked at Vin's lips, and Chris knew that Vin would treasure that loving comment. He'd grown up his whole life hearing that he was stupid and ugly and lazy and worthless. Chris had been the first one to really tell him he was beautiful, and the first time it happened Vin had gone completely still as the wonder of it took his breath away. Chris had vowed then to spend the rest of his life making up for the cruel taunts Vin had endured during his hellish childhood.
"Best be gettin' back ta my desk," Vin agreed reluctantly. "Don't wanta be stirrin' up no gossip. Not ta mention who knows what Bucklin is doin' ta my things about now."
"He'd better not be doing anything," Chris told him, as he took a deep breath and went back around his own desk to sit down, thankful that he didn't have to walk out in front of the rest of the team.
"We'll finish this tonight back at yer ranch," Vin winked as he left. "Jist know I'm gonna hold ya ta that."
Vin closed the door as the phone rang on Chris's desk, effectively startling him out of the thoughts of Vin and what would happen tonight. He jumped, and then took a couple deep breaths before reaching for the handset to answer.
"Larabee," Chris barked into the phone.
Vin went back to his desk, and the others looked up as he came out into the room. Ezra was watching him a little speculatively, but the others seemed basically oblivious. Nathan and Josiah barely glanced up and then went back to their work, and Ezra turned to his computer screen only moments later. JD was taking a handful of paper towels to the trash.
"Sorry, Buck," Vin said, leaning a hip against the big man's desk. "I didn't expect ya ta be on the phone. Need any more help cleanin' up?"
Buck looked up and tried to glare at the team's sharpshooter and practical joker. He saw that Vin looked, if not completely contrite, at least willing to help make amends. Damn, when Vin did stuff like this, it just reminded him again how young the guy really was. He always thought of JD as just a kid, but Vin wasn't all that much older.
"Nah, but thanks, Junior," Buck smiled. The big-hearted agent could never hold a grudge, and Tanner hadn't done anything all that bad. All of them kept extra clothes in the locker room, but he suspected that the policy had been instigated more along the lines of necessity for training exercises or suddenly being called to a job where they might be gone overnight. Buck had changed into his spare clothes, and his coffee-stained ones were soaking in a sink in the locker room.
"Still got a date with that stewardess? Shannon, was it?"
"Of course! Ain't gonna let anything get in the way of true love," Buck added.
Vin rolled his eyes, and JD snorted.
"True love! More like temporary lust," JD taunted. He ducked as Buck threw a wadded up mass of paper towels at his head, and Vin made his way over to his own desk.
"Wait - isn't she the one from Georgia?" Vin asked, sounding remarkably like Ezra.
"Ooh! Georgia!" JD echoed.
"An-nd yah know what they say about Southahn girls," Vin's eyes sparkled with mischief, as he continued with the Georgia accent.
There were only a couple more minutes of teasing before Larabee's door opened and the team leader came into the main office.
"Conference room now, ladies."
Looking at each other, with pointed looks between Buck and Vin, the team set their security passwords on their computers and made their way into the conference room.
"Was Chris really mad at you?" JD asked Vin as he caught up with the lanky sharpshooter.
"Nah, didn't seem like it. Best we jist wait an' see what's what."
Chris waited for them all to fill coffee cups and settle into their usual seats around the main table before speaking. He set his folder down on the table, and looked around to get their attention. This was one reason he was so proud of his team. While they could joke and laugh and have a good time together, when it was time to work he had their undivided attention and focus.
"I just got off the phone with Orin Travis," Chris announced to the quiet room. Everyone sat a little straighter as they waited to hear what this was going to mean for the team. "Unfortunately, he had bad news to report. While it affects Team Five, it's also going to affect us."
"What happened?" Buck asked.
"Jake Reynolds had to request a leave of absence," Chris told them, referring to Team Five's sharpshooter. "His wife was in a car accident, and while she wasn't badly hurt, during routine medical examinations following the accident they discovered a tumor in her leg. Jake needs to be with his wife, and with his two kids right now.
The team knew Jake, but didn't know much more about his family than that he had a boy about three and a girl close to four or five. He needed to be with them, and not be distracted by work.
"The timing is bad for their team, though, which is also one of the reasons Jake requested a leave of absence. They've been working a case non-stop for several months, and feel like they are within a week of making a bust."
"Jist hope his wife is okay," Vin commented, looking closely at his team leader and lover. He knew how much something like this would affect Chris.
"From what he told Travis, the doctors are very hopeful and encouraging. It appears that this minor car accident was a blessing in disguise, and they feel like they've caught this early and expect a full recovery. However, the next several days are going to be non-stop tests and medical procedures, and they've scheduled Kathleen for surgery on Tuesday. Her parents are coming up, and will be able to stay with her and the kids for a month after her surgery."
"That sounds good," Nathan nodded thoughtfully. "They seem to have caught things in time, and it sounds like she has a good prognosis."
"As you said, a blessing in disguise," Josiah agreed.
"It seems that Jake was thinking of the team as well as himself, if he knew he couldn't devote his full concentration to the team during an important bust," Ezra commented.
"Exactly," Chris agreed. "Which brings me to the topic of our meeting. Frank Morgan has asked Travis to borrow Vin."
Vin looked up and met Chris's eyes, nodding once. It wasn't something that was unexpected after what they'd all heard.
"How close are we to being ready to act on the Donahue situation?" Chris asked Standish.
"Their boss is being extremely cautious," Ezra told them, pulling down his cuffs and straightening his suit jacket. "My sources are saying that it might be another week or two before I can get inside. I'm making contact, but I have to appear not to be too eager or I suspect they'll bolt. It looks like it's going to drag on for a big longer, but I'm hopeful that they will need the services of Ethan Sawyer before too many more days or weeks go by."
"Josiah?"
"From what I can determine, James Donahue is an extremely cautious man - up to a point. It looks like, however, once he determines that he has an employee's or colleague's loyalty, he is exceedingly loyal to him. It looks promising to get Ezra inside."
"JD?"
"Bank accounts are showing a lot more activity, including business transactions that don't make sense from the kinds of movement I'm seeing on line. Looks like things are happening."
"Maybe he's getting less vigilant as he's not being challenged," Nathan suggested.
"Could be. That would be good for us if he lets his guard down just as we need to move in," Buck added.
"In any event, I did tell Travis that while this may become more urgent soon, for now we don't have any pressing cases coming to a conclusion, and Vin will be loaned to Team Five. Vin, you'll need to meet with Frank Morgan this afternoon. He'll be filling you in on most of the details to get you up to speed, and then you'll meet with the rest of his team as necessary until the bust. Gentlemen, let's get back to work."
They all stood and filed out, commenting to Vin everything from Nathan's admonishing to be careful, to Buck teasing that Team Five had a woman agent and asking Vin to get her phone number for him, to Josiah assuring the younger man he'd be missed, to JD complaining that now he would be blamed for all the pranks and mishaps in the office.
Vin hung back just long enough for the room to clear out before turning to face Chris.
"You okay, Cowboy?" he asked. The concern was clear in his wide blue eyes, and Chris saw nothing but compassion and understanding.
"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks."
No other words had to be exchanged. Their unspoken connection was clear, and Vin knew instantly that hearing about Jake's wife's injury and upcoming surgery would affect Chris. He also knew that thinking of Jake's kids, and knowing how worried they would be about their mom would make Chris feel bad and remember his own son and what that was like.
"That all that's botherin' you?" Vin looked knowingly at his boss and lover.
Chris sighed, knowing that Tanner could read him like a book.
"I don't like you on another team."
He saw the slight hesitation in Chris's eyes, but the risks of the job were something they were learning to deal with as a couple. Vin knew that Chris hated when he was in danger when it was their own team. Somehow it made it that much worse for Larabee when Vin was in danger working with another team. Tanner suspected that Chris had some sort of feeling that just by being near to his lover he could keep him safe, even though that didn't make sense logically.
"It's only fer a couple weeks," Vin reminded him.
"I know."
"Part of the job."
"I know."
"I'll be home with you every night."
Chris's head raised up sharply. Vin had never called the ranch 'home' before. After their tentative start to their relationship, Chris had begun working on Vin to encourage him to move to the ranch and give up his unsafe apartment in Purgatorio. Vin had resisted, and Chris had listened to a variety of reasons. First and foremost, their relationship had been too new for them to consider breaking it to the team. They weren't completely convinced that it would be accepted, both as a same-sex couple and as a boss-subordinate relationship. They hoped that their friends would accept them as partners, but it was a risk neither of them had been eager to take at the beginning.
While Vin didn't talk about it much, Chris knew that Tanner took a lot of responsibility for keeping his neighbors safe. He opened his apartment for the local kids to use his computer and just hang out, and he was often found playing pickup basketball with them in the abandoned lot next door. Last summer he'd organized a group of kids to clean up the trash and mess cluttering the overgrown lot, and had them planting flowers and actual grass in place of the usual weeds. His elderly neighbors plied him with homemade pasta and desserts to thank him. Vin was never a bully, but the gang members who had tried to push their way into the area found that it didn't pay to mess with an ex-Army Ranger, ex-US. Marshall, ex-bounty hunter, current ATF federal agent. They had quickly moved to other, less protected, neighborhoods, and Purgatorio was a much more pleasant, well, slum, than it had been. It still wasn't anywhere near considered safe, but Chris had a feeling that Vin felt like the residents, his friends and neighbors, would be in even more danger if he moved out.
Lately, however, Chris had felt like he was making strides in his bid to encourage Vin to move in with him on a permanent basis. He spent most of each weekend at the ranch, and several times came over for dinner after work and didn't leave that night. Tanner still slipped away early, to stop at his apartment to shower and change clothes, and they never came to work in the same vehicle or at the same time.
They had been talking more often lately about whether to let their friends in on their relationship, but still weren't ready to take that leap of faith that everything would be all right. The federal government agencies were still very much 'don't ask - don't tell.' They hoped that their friends and teammates would at least tolerate knowing they were lovers, if they couldn't all completely accept it. Yet at the same time, Chris felt he would have to tell Orin Travis, and he wasn't sure how the older, tradition-oriented supervisor, would feel about it. Vin had volunteered to leave the team if it ever became a problem, yet the thought of being without his lover and team sharpshooter had Chris terrified. He wouldn't let Vin leave without a fight, and it sickened him to think of Vin alone again without the family of brothers that Team Seven had become to him. If Vin left, Chris knew that he would leave, too.
Chris sat at his desk, unable to concentrate on work. It was getting harder and harder to hide their feelings for each other in front of their friends. Chris remembered how just last night they had been sitting out on the deck and the subject had come up again. Chris was sitting on one of the wide, comfortably padded chaise lounges, and Vin was settled between his legs with his head resting on the older man's shoulder. Chris had his arms wrapped tightly around his young lover, and laid his cheek on the top of Vin's silky hair. They had been watching the sun set behind the mountains, comfortable and quiet after their earlier, wildly passionate love-making. The discussion turned to each man on Team Seven.
Both felt like Josiah might be okay with their relationship. He'd seen a lot in his travels, experienced a lot, and might be open-minded to expressing love in whatever fashion people found themselves.
They thought that Ezra might be okay with it, and Vin had even wondered a couple times if Standish suspected something. If the rumors and innuendo were true, it might just be that Standish had had some experience walking on the wild side himself, as it were. A couple times something had happened or been said when Vin had been undercover with Ezra that made Vin look a second time at the southerner. It only intrigued him more when he met Ezra's eyes. There was something there that hinted that perhaps Ezra was open to non-traditional relationships. Vin would never say anything to Chris, but he couldn't help thinking of the times he'd caught Ezra looking at him from across the room, and saw something that looked suspiciously like wistfulness and longing in his eyes before the man turned away.
JD would probably accept their situation, but you never quite knew. Hopefully, since he was raised in a more open-minded era, with gay rights groups even in the high schools, he would be okay with it. The one thing that might be problematic with him was that they both knew he tended toward hero-worship. JD was constantly begging Vin to help him out and give him pointers at the shooting range. He had to be reined in from his bragging to other teams about Vin's shooting abilities, and he'd pestered the life out of Vin to tell him stories of being an ex-Ranger until Vin had quietly let him know it wasn't anything to glorify. JD idolized Larabee as a team leader, but certainly knew that he had been a husband and father. Would his opinion of Chris's leadership skills change once he found out he was romantically involved with a man? And how would JD take the news that his two heroes were in love with each other?
Nathan might be the hardest to come to terms with the two of them as a couple. He had been raised in a deeply religious, totally traditional background. They knew he felt that homosexuality was immoral, but they hoped that he could at least accept them even if he didn't agree with it or feel comfortable with it.
While he didn't say much, Chris knew that Vin sometimes worried about Buck and how the second in command felt about him and his friendship with Chris. Vin had listened intently whenever Buck would regale the rest of the team at the Saloon on Friday nights or other get-togethers, with stories about the adventures that the two of them had had. Vin knew that Chris and Buck had been best friends for years and years, that they had shared some wild times during high school and even wilder experiences in their days as Navy Seals. Everyone was certainly aware that Buck had stood up for Chris at his wedding, been the godfather to his child, and supported and stood beside his oldest friend during the dark days after the funeral of his family.
Vin had held back, not wanting to intrude or take the place of Chris's best friend. He had dreamed of a friendship like that all his life, and had never thought he could hope to be so close to anyone. While Vin had been instantly attracted to Chris from the moment he saw him across the warehouse floor when the ATF showed up for a bust in the middle of his tracking down a skip, after he'd joined the team he began hearing about Chris's dead wife and son and knew he'd never have that kind of relationship with his boss. He was content to be near him, and cherished the friendship and bond they had from the beginning. Vin also saw that Chris and Buck were great friends with a lot of shared history, and as Chris and Vin grew closer he worried that Buck might resent him and the growing amount of time the two of them spent together.
As Vin settled into being a member of a close-knit team, for the first time in his life he was the one being watched from a distance. As the team leader seemed to be getting closer and closer to the young man, Buck started scrutinizing Vin. He couldn't help noticing that Vin slid away from Josiah when the big man tried to put his arm around the younger man's shoulder and nearly flinched when Buck tried to give him a bear hug after Vin had been successful in saving them during a bust. Chris was the only one Vin would let touch him, even when he was hurt. Buck was also the first to notice that Vin and Chris seemed to know exactly what the other one was thinking without saying anything.
It was only much later, after Buck and Vin had become closer that Buck told Vin exactly when he knew that Vin was for real and not someone not to be trusted. When Vin asked what he meant, Buck told him it was the first time Chris was really angry at him. Vin had broken cover but only because that was the only way to save JD, who had walked out of the surveillance van before the area was secure. The tall blond had turned that ice green glare on the sharpshooter, stony and fierce enough to leave the most hardened criminals pissing their pants and confessing everything. Vin had just glared back, angry at being yelled at for saving a teammate. Then Vin had taken a deep breath, quirked a half smile, and winked. Buck and the rest of them had frozen, waiting for the coming explosion and wondering if this was going to be the time Chris really would shoot the aggravating Texan. Instead, Chris had glared another moment, then with a single nod told Tanner, "You did the right thing," and turned away to begin cleanup.
All of them had stood there with their mouths hanging open, and Josiah later admitted he thought it was a sign of the coming apocalypse. JD was falling over himself apologizing to Vin and thanking him over and over, while Tanner merely told him, "Jist doin' m' job; glad you're okay, Kid." Nathan swore he felt something shift in the earth, while Ezra insisted that the world as they knew it would never be the same. And Buck, after staring open-mouthed between the younger man and his oldest friend, had come to the conclusion that whatever the connection was between them, it was as inevitable and unbreakable as trying to stop the tides from coming in.
Buck had later told Vin that no one could ever, ever, stand up to the Larabee glare, and no one ever had before him.
"Hell, Bucklin," Vin had drawled, looking up from where he was slouched in a corner at the Saloon nursing a beer. "I've seen scary. And that jist ain't it."
Buck had looked at him thoughtfully, wondering just what all the younger man had witnessed and experienced if Larabee's wrath didn't phase him. He wasn't quite sure he wanted to know.
A life of looking out for himself, knowing that no one else was there to do it, had turned Vin into a keen observer. He'd felt a sharp pang of regret as he watched Chris escort Mary Travis to a few social events, and figured that it was only a matter of time before the team leader married the widowed daughter-in-law of his powerful boss. Then as he kept paying attention, he noticed that they didn't seem to have actual dates other than him escorting her to society events and he allowed himself to become a little hopeful. Vin didn't kid himself into thinking that he could have a relationship with the man; he just selfishly didn't want to watch Chris dating anyone else, either.
Buck certainly went out with enough women for the both of them - for the entire office really, Vin chuckled to himself. He thought back to his first months on the team as he watched Buck try to set Chris up with one woman after another. Truth be told, he tried to set Vin up with several women. Buck had kept teasing him that his hesitant blush was driving the women crazy because they thought he was so cute with his little Texas drawl and his shy politeness. The more he resisted Buck the more the big man worked to find him just the perfect match.
Sometimes in those early weeks when Buck was driving him crazy, Vin had wondered what would happen if he just came out and told Buck exactly who he wanted to be paired up with. The big man would have had a heart attack - right after he shot him.
And while Buck didn't seem to have any hesitance in trying to pair him up with women, as Chris and Vin started spending more time together either at the ranch, riding horses or going to horse shows, or just hanging out, Buck started watching Vin a little closer. Vin had sensed a certain amount of resentment in the watchfulness of the big man, and had known that Buck would do anything to protect his oldest friend. Buck had been far slower to accept the Texan as Chris's close friend, but once he satisfied himself that Tanner wasn't going to do anything to hurt Chris, he'd been able to slowly back away from the place he'd held at Chris's side for so many years. Not that he went far, but he finally accepted that Vin held a more significant role in Chris's life now.
The question remained, how would he react if he found out just how significant that role actually was?
The sun had set and Vin had shivered in Chris's arms, prodding the older man to know it was time to go inside. As physically strong as Tanner was, it didn't take much of a chill to get him sick. Chris wondered again how much of that was Vin's general makeup, and how much might be the fault of growing up without good health care or good nutrition while he was a child. His system might have been weakened because he had never been taken care of while he was young. Nathan had certainly suspected as much after their newest teammate caught every germ and every bug this side of Denver, and caught it hard.
Larabee and Tanner had gone in, locked up the house, and had moved into the den to watch a popular show about federal agents searching for missing persons, then caught the news before going to bed. Chris had felt like they would just fall asleep, especially since they had had a hard and intense session of lovemaking earlier in the evening. Yet when he had seen Vin walking across the room toward the bed, his lean muscles shadowed by the faint light from the bathroom nightlight, he couldn't help drawing the slender young man into his arms. Their gentle kisses led to gentle lovemaking, and Chris felt his heart expand when Vin had quietly whispered, "I love you," just before he fell asleep. Chris knew how hard it was for Vin to say that, how hard it had been for the younger man to give anyone his trust and his love. It was a precious gift that Chris had vowed to never take for granted.
Nothing more had been said in the morning about either moving out to the ranch or letting their friends know about their relationship. Vin grabbed a cup of strong coffee before heading off in his jeep. Things were always too rushed and hectic for any kind of serious conversation as they scrambled to get ready for work. They were almost late as it was, after Vin decided to get into the shower with Chris. Their lovemaking was quick and hurried but a wonderful way to start the morning, and Vin had grabbed a clean pair of Chris's sweatpants and a long-sleeved tee-shirt to wear back to his apartment. Chris teased him about how his mom used to never let them leave the house without wearing clean underwear, and told Vin he'd better not get into an accident while he was going commando.
Vin had given Chris a lopsided grin while at the same time shaking his head and rolling his eyes.
"You got some weird sayings, Cowboy."
"Hell, everyone's mom said that. We just never knew why. Like, were they thinking they wouldn't take us in an ambulance if they found out we were wearing dirty underwear?"
"Nah. Prob'ly jist mock ya in th' emergency room," Vin teased. "Maybe they got a collection a dirty underwear fer a Hall of Shame 'r somethin'."
"You have a sick sense of humor, Tanner."
"Hey, you're the one who brought it up!"
Chris couldn't help swatting that tempting butt as Vin had turned to leave.
Now here it was almost four hours later and Vin said the magic word: home.
"You said it, Cowboy," Chris said softly, his voice full of wonder.
"What?" Vin frowned.
"Home. You called the ranch, 'home.'"
Vin's eyes widened.
"I did, didn't I?"
"You sure did," Chris knew that he had a goofy smile on his face, but he couldn't keep from grinning.
"I ain't sayin' I'm givin' up my apartment, at least not yet," Vin said softly after ghosting a quick glance toward the doorway to make sure they wouldn't be overheard. "But, yeah, I think I'm ready to start movin' out to yer place."
"Our place."
Vin lowered his eyes and then looked up shyly at the taller man under lowered lashes.
"Yeah, our place," he barely whispered.
"We've got time, Vin," Chris assured him quietly. He wanted nothing more than to shout the news to everyone in the office, to grab his lover in his arms and kiss him senseless. He knew, though, that they had to stay calm and work out the details later, together and calmly.
"God, Vin. You make me so happy. I love you so damn much."
"Ya kinda do th' same fer me," Vin grinned up at him. He took a deep breath, then smiled again. Deep little-boy dimples crept into the smooth cheeks, and Vin looked shyly happy. The word had just come out without him really thinking about it, but now that he did he realized that he did think of the ranch as his home. Hell, anywhere was home as long as Chris was there. It was a good feeling, and while he felt a little wary about just blurting it out like that, it felt completely right.
Chris pulled Vin over to the counter out of sight of the others and kissed him quickly on the lips.
"We're going to talk about this more tonight!" he promised.
Vin grinned up at him, suddenly even happier.
"Better get back out there, b'fore Buck comes lookin' fer us."
"True. Tonight."
"Tonight."
It was early for lunch, but Chris decided that an early lunch might be a good way to all get together before Vin started his assignment with Team Five. Orin Travis had told Vin he could take part of the day to finish up his current reports or whatever else he needed to have done as far as his Team Seven obligations, but then he wanted him meeting with Frank Morgan and Frank's second in command on Team Five by 2:30. It was a good lunch, with lots of kidding and joking. Buck kept rubbing it in that the rest of them would be thinking of him slaving away while they were basically relaxing. Vin took their ribbing in good humor, but finally Chris threatened to find something for Buck and the rest of them to do if they wanted to be busy as well.
Chris stayed late in the office after the others went home, thinking that Vin would be coming up to his office before too much longer. He didn't even get a phone call, as he watched the clock move slowly toward seven. He took out his cell phone three separate times, but managed to force himself not to call. Larabee finally shut down his computer, locked everything up, and headed home. Vin's familiar jeep was in its usual spot in the parking garage when Chris left, and he noticed few other vehicles still there scattered around the underground deck.
Chris came home and changed, then set some beef stew from the refrigerator into a pan and turned the burner on low. He went out and took care of the horses, listening all the while for Vin's jeep. After he finished in the barn and there was still no sign of Tanner, Chris decided to go ahead and eat, leaving enough for his lover. He figured that Vin would be starving by the time he got home.
Finally, after Chris had spent an anxious evening trying not to worry, the phone rang. Chris jumped, the sound clanging through the silence.
"Chris?"
"Yeah, Tanner. Where are you?"
"Sorry, Cowboy. The time got away from us. The bust is scheduled to go down within the next week or so, but it's complicated. There's a lot for me to get up to speed on, and Frank has Eric going over everything with me. We even forgot to eat until Eric thought to send out for pizza."
"Eric?"
"Eric Sutherland. You remember him. Played for them on the ATF softball team last summer?
Chris did remember then. Eric had been their star player, an outstanding athlete as well as model handsome. Chris remembered him being tall, with short wavy dark hair and blue-gray eyes. And bright white teeth that showed up a dark summer tan. Yep. Chris remembered all right.
"He's been with the team about three years now," Vin went on into the silence. "From what I'm picking up on, Frank's about ready to make him his second in command. I think this is a test or trial run or something. Eric thinks this is his audition, that Frank's planning to see how well he handles this assignment and might promote him if he does a good job."
Chris closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Vin and Eric were going to be spending a lot of time together over the next week to ten days. A lot. If Sutherland felt his promotion hinged on doing a careful, thorough job, he would no doubt be painstakingly meticulous.
"So, are you on your way out to the ranch now?" Chris asked.
"I'm sorry, Chris. I jist cain't. I'm beat. Think I need ta stay here t'night."
"I was kind of looking forward to continuing our talk from this morning."
Even though the phone lines, Chris could sense the smile that lit Vin's face.
"Me, too, Cowboy. But I wouldn't be any good to ya t'night. I kin barely keep m' eyes open now, and I'd prob'ly crash th' jeep by fallin' asleep on th' way out. I'll see ya tomorrow, though."
"Yeah, all right. I miss you."
"Miss you, too. Love you."
"Love you more."
Chris sighed heavily and stared a long few moments at the phone after hanging up. He knew their jobs didn't follow a nice, neat 9-5 schedule, but he couldn't help regretting that this was exceptionally bad timing. He'd been after Tanner for months to move out to the ranch, and had kept trying to persuade Vin that it was his home, too. Just when Vin seemed ready to make that commitment, now this case came up and pulled him away from Team Seven, and away from Chris.
Sighing again, Chris went into the kitchen to put the leftover beef stew back in the fridge and finish cleaning up. He almost grinned to think how Vin always said that stew and chili got better each time they were reheated. Then he felt sorry for himself again, knowing how cold and lonely his bed was going to be tonight. Funny how quickly a person got used to sleeping with an armful of lean, hard, silken-skinned Texan.
Vin's jeep was in it's usual space when Chris pulled in the next morning. He was half hoping that Vin would be there when he got into their team offices, maybe under pretense of needing something from his desk. Unfortunately, the office was silent and dark.
Silent and dark was a phrase that kept coming back to Chris throughout the day. When the other team members came in the place livened up some, but it wasn't the same looking out into the main office and seeing that empty chair where Vin was supposed to be sitting. Even the rest of the team seemed a little off. Jokes weren't quite so funny - not to mention the quiet caused by the lack of practical jokes. Ezra's comment that the coffee was finally drinkable sent everyone glancing at the empty, cleaned-off desk.
Agents had been loaned to other teams before, but there was always a hole when someone was missing . Chris figured it was only himself who figured that the hole seemed a lot bigger when the person missing was Vin. That is, until JD voiced what they all seemed to be thinking.
"Isn't it kind of funny how silent the place gets when someone as quiet as Vin isn't here?"
Josiah's eyes widened and he looked at Nathan, while Buck grew still before laughing out loud.
"Out of the mouths of babes, isn't that what they say?"
"Stop calling me a baby!"
"It might come out more convincingly if you weren't whining," Ezra noted.
That broke the ice and they all started talking and joking about Vin's absence, wondering how long the operation might take and speculating on what Vin was doing right then.
"Probably going over every inch of whatever warehouse they're using for the drop," Josiah guessed.
"I just hope he stays safe. I know it's part of the job, but it worries me when he's out there. That boy will do whatever it takes to keep his teammates safe. Keeping himself safe is the last thing he'll think about," Nathan told them.
'That's my job, to keep him safe,' Chris thought to himself.
"It's his job," Buck reminded them of something none of them needed reminding of. "And Junior takes it real seriously."
"Too seriously, sometimes," Chris muttered. He knew his heart stopped for a moment each time he'd seen his lover injured on the job.
"You say something?" Buck asked.
"No. Just thinking we need to get back to work. Just because we don't have an actively breaking case doesn't mean we don't have things to do."
It was late afternoon before Vin had a chance to call Chris. The tall blond smiled when he saw the caller ID on his cell phone, and grinned when he knew Tanner was calling on his private phone and not an agency line.
"Hey, Cowboy," Chris answered, glancing at the closed office door.
"Hi, Chris."
The younger man's voice sounded tired and even more raspy than usual. Chris frowned in concern.
"You all right?"
"'M fine. Hey look. I know we talked about getting together tonight at the Saloon, but I'm not going to get out of here until late. Jist wanted to give you a heads up."
"You gotta eat, Vin."
"I'll eat. I'm eatin.' Jist real busy right now. What? Hold on, Eric - I'll be right there. Sorry, Chris, I gotta go."
"Wait - !"
Chris stared down at the phone again. He felt the pressure of a headache coming on, and started feeling sorry for himself. Vin was obviously working hard, and it was childish of him to feel resentful.
'I'm not resentful. I'm lonely,' he told himself.
Chris was disappointed, but not surprised when Vin didn't make it out to the ranch for a second night in a row. He hadn't wanted to go out for a drink after work, but thought it might look strange or suspicious if he didn't. Fighting the urge to just leave, Chris sat there as long as he could, nursing one beer as he paid half-hearted attention to the muted conversation around him.
"He'll be fine, Stud."
"Huh?" Chris's head whipped up. He found himself looking into compassionate dark blue eyes. He realized he'd really not been paying attention when he found that only he and Buck were at the table.
"Our boy will be fine."
"What? I know," Chris tried not to show how flustered he was. He couldn't read Buck's expression, and wondered what else, if anything, was behind his concern for Chris's anxiety. Did he suspect something?
"You gotta trust that Frank Morgan will keep him safe. You can't always be there to protect him," Buck said knowingly. "You know you can't really keep that boy safe, especially when he's determined to keep his team protected no matter what the cost to his personal safety. I also know that you think you're somehow invincible, and that just you being there is going to keep him from getting hurt."
Chris snorted and shook his head. Leave it to Buck to turn this around to where he thought it was Chris's ego and power trip on the line.
"Buck, I know that. And it's not like my being around has kept Tanner from flinging himself in front of bullets or flying through the air like a damn superhero before."
"Well, that's true," Buck grinned. "I just know that you like being team leader, like to keep all us subordinates where you can see us."
"Or in Vin's case, more like 'insubordinates.'"
Buck laughed.
"That long-haired, scrawny-assed, pain in the butt Texan is going to do just fine for Team Five. And it's going to look good for you, too, getting all those points with Travis for being a team player and lending out the country's best sharpshooter."
Chris rolled his eyes and took a big gulp of his beer. At least Buck knew how to cheer him up.
"Not that you need any more brownie points with Travis. You dating the mother of his grandson has a lot of brownie points attached, I'm sure!"
Chris froze and glared at Buck.
"I'm not dating Mary Travis."
"Well, hell, Stud. She sure seems to think so!"
"Who seems to think what?" JD asked, coming up to the table with the others.
"Mary Travis seems to think she's dating Chris," Buck volunteered while Josiah snickered.
"Ah, the lovely newspaper woman," he sighed.
"You do take her out a lot," Nathan added. "Raine was just saying what a handsome couple you made at the charity ball for the families of agents killed in the line of duty. She loved that red dress Mary was wearing. Had to assure her later it would have looked better on her."
"Raine would be a vision of loveliness whatever she wore," Ezra raised a glass.
"Here, here!" they all added.
"So, are you taking Mary out this weekend, then?" JD asked.
Chris groaned inside. He'd hoped the talk of Raine had changed the subject.
"You could take her to that new restaurant that just opened," Josiah suggested. "I've heard wonderful things about their seafood."
After a few minutes of suggestions from the team on various romantic outings which ranged from the impossible - a week in Paris (Ezra), to the ridiculous - motocross races (JD), Chris had had enough.
"Stop!"
They all looked at him.
"Now get this straight. Yes, as a favor to Mary and occasionally to Orin Travis, I occasionally accompany Mrs. Travis to a charity event. However. In no way, shape, or form am I courting or wooing or dating said woman."
"But - " JD blurted, and before he could continue Chris held up a hand and froze the wide-eyed agent mid-word.
"I. Am. Not. Dating. Mrs. Travis."
In the silence that followed no one dared turn their head or make any sudden movement. However, their eyes flickered to each other as they reacted to the vehement statement.
"Well, all right, Stud. Whatever you say," Buck said calmingly, finally breaking the silence.
"I still think they look good together," JD muttered.
"Son, you'd better stop while you still have a head on your shoulders," Josiah warned in a quiet rumble.
"I'm just saying..." he huffed.