Warning: m/m rape
Shit! If he just didn't move, hell, if he just didn't breathe he could manage the pain. He'd been hurt a lot worse than this before -- hadn't he? No, this was as bad as anything he'd ever had happen to 'im. And it looked to get a hell of a lot worse, before they killed 'im.
Who the hell were they? They couldn't be bounty hunters. Bounty hunters woulda just shot 'im, slung 'im over a horse, and been in Tascosa, before he stopped bleeding. Men he'd taken in? He didn't think so, but it was getting kinda hard to think, with so much of his blood leaking out from the tiny cuts they'd inflicted on him.
One o' the bastards musta spent some time with Indians, to know so much about hurtin' a man without killin' 'im. He'd been tied up between these two trees for seemed like a year now, but it musta only been about six or seven hours, or maybe it was his whole life.
Shit! Vin thought again. Who the hell were the bastards? And what did they want from 'im?
What did they want from him and where the Hell was Chris? Damn! He had tried not to give them the satisfaction of crying out; he tried, but failed as the knife had ripped like steel talons through his flesh. What did the Hell did they want?
"How ya feelin' pretty boy?" A foul smelling breath inquired with no conviction in its tone that it cared what Vin's answer would be. "Looks mighty painful."
Vin wanted to spit in the gloating pig's face, but could only find enough energy to close his eyes. Chris, where are ya? I need ya?
"Nuh uh, none o' that," the man countered.
The cold bucket of water hit Vin like so many separate knives, each drop stinging and stabbing at his already sore body. An involuntary shiver and a cry of surprise and pain came from the bound tracker, eliciting a satisfied smile from his captor.
"Will ya just tell me what the fuck you want from me!" Vin shouted, hours of built up anger letting loose. He tried to kick at the man that had thrown the water on him, but only had his other leg kicked out from under him. His body dropped and then stopped abruptly, pain tearing through his shoulderblades as the taut ropes that held his wrists cut into deeper skin.
"We haven't quite decided yet, Tanner," one of the other men, the leader of the group from what Vin had seen, said as he walked up to the tree on Vin's left. "See, we got a bone to pick with one of your friends. Thought we'd be able to get him through you. But, we just haven't decided what would be worse on him; finding you dead, beaten, tortured, taken or all four. What do you think? What would be the worst way for Chris Larabee to find you?"+ + + + + + +
Chris Larabee was worried. Vin was to have met him hours ago at their favorite camping place along the river. Planning the time to be away without anyone suspecting was difficult, so he was surprised when Vin didn't show up on time. Vin's timing was always, as Ezra said, impeccable, wasn't it.? Pushing the firewood around to keep it burning, Chris decided he would wait until morning. If Vin didn't show up then, he would know that there was trouble. Vin didn't make his promises lightly.
+ + + + + + +
Vin had tried to keep his promised meeting, but the strange man in the road had seemed sincere about JD being hurt . . . and he had his mind on meeting Chris . . . so he hadn't seen the men as they came up behind him. Now he found himself hurting. Hanging by his arms . . . afraid . . . Not for his life. . . that wasn't his worry. He didn't' want to be the one that told them where Chris was . . . but the pain in his body was betraying him. He hurt and the man's rough hands were all over him . . . and he couldn't help himself.
He felt calloused fingers pry themselves inside the waistband of his pants. Digging the finger nails deep into Vin's skin, the sharpshooter tried to pull away. Vin screamed as the flat board of the nail studded plank hit him across the chest. Working the board loose, the second man flung it back and used his legs to swing harder this time.
Vin saw the nails coming at him and couldn't move. The rough hands had him by the hips and the man was braced behind him. Holding him tight as the board hit him again, and the man behind him ground his hard erection into Vin's back.
Vin tensed, waiting for another blow to fall, momentarily relieved when the man in front of him stopped his forward motion with the plank.
"Well, we've beaten ya and tortured ya, and you're too pretty to kill, so I guess we'll just have ta take ya, too, and then we'll see what Larabee's gonna do when he comes for ya," the man behind Vin whispered in his ear, pressing himself even harder against Vin's backside.
"Don't know what yer talkin' about," Vin ground out through clenched teeth. "Larabee ain't gonna come lookin' for me." He stared the man down through squinted eyes, hoping his lie would work. There was no way in hell these two were going to get Chris.
"Gotta disagree with you on that one, Tanner," the man sneered back, walking to place himself in front of Vin, wafting more of his stale breath in the tracker's direction. "I've seen Larabee with ya in town. Think the man's kinda sweet on ya."
The man stepped even closer, stopping just inches from Vin's face. Vin's stomach roiled as he inhaled the stench of the man's breath, trying not to gag as the man smiled, exposing a mouth full of rotted teeth.
"Why don't you show me what you and Larabee do when you're alone?" the man leered, snaking a hand out and squeezing Vin's crotch.
The shocked tracker flinched away from the probing hand, which angered the man. He grabbed Vin's face roughly and crushed his lips against Vin's. Vin moaned helplessly, as he tried to pull away, but the ropes held fast.
The disgusting pig's tongue forced it's way into the tracker's mouth and Vin reacted instinctively. He bit down hard. The man let out a howl and jerked his head -- along with his now bleeding tongue -- away. He howled and backhanded the Texan viciously and then grabbed a handful of hair and used it to jerk Vin's head up.
"You're gonna pay for that boy!" he snarled into Vin's ear. "Untie 'im boys, he ordered the three other men. "Don't cut that rope, it's brand new."
"Don't think I wanta take 'im down just yet," the man who was rubbing his erection against Vin's butt leered.
"Don't worry, Jake," the man giving the orders grinned and spoke evilly. Just thought it'd feel a lot better with his pants off and your dick in 'is ass. I know I'm gonna like shovin' my dick down 'is throat."
"You're always thinkin' Harv, I'll give ya that," Jake chuckled and unbuttoned his pants and Vin's pants, while one of the other two men worked on the rope's tight knots.
Shoving Vin's pants down around his ankle, Jake freed his own cock and began rubbing himself in the cleft of Vin's ass. The other three stopped what they were doing and watched the helpless young man try to squirm away from Jake.
"Hold 'im still, Goddamnit," Jake panted, as Vin's hips thrust forward and his cock lost contact with the soft ass.
Harv grinned, because he'd freed his own cock and when Vin's hips moved forward, his groin was ground against Harv's.
"Damn boy, you're sure eager to get to my dick, ain'tcha?" Harv laughed and grabbed ahold of Vin's hips and pulled them hard against him.
Jake pushed his own cock against Vin's ass again and the two outlaws were soon close to the edge. Vin's desperate squirming to get away, only increased the excitement the two men were feeling.
The other two watched their friends thrusting against the slender body and laughed and jeered.
"Betcha Jake comes first."
"Nah, Harv's gonna come first, he's grunting like a stuck pig now."
"Shit, they ain't even got his dick hard. When I fuck 'im, he's gonna be beggin' me for more."
"If he don't pass right out, from me fuckin' him, there might be some left for you."
"shitshitshitshitshitshit" Jake screamed out as he shot his load against Vin's ass.
Harv laughed and continued to use Vin's groin to pleasure himself. "Stay right there, Jake," he panted. "I'm almost there, don't let 'im move."
"Don't worry, he ain't goin' nowhere," Jake panted back.
"Just make sure you two don't wipe off that cum, so we got plenty to use on his ass," one of the men by the tree called. "No sense wastin' saddle oil."
Harv suddenly howled and buried his head in Vin's neck, biting the soft skin. His cock twitched and jumped as his hot cum coated Vin's belly and groin.+ + + + + + +
"Damn it!" Chris cursed as he threw the stick he had been using to prod the fire into the flames. "Vin, where the hell are ya?"
Unable to sit still any longer, the concerned gunfighter jumped to his feet, kicking dirt on the fire as he did so. He had known there something wrong, he had felt it down to his bones. Damning himself for ignoring the knotting feeling in his gut and not moving sooner, Chris made sure the fire was out as he buckled his holster. "Don't know what mess ya got yourself into this time pard, but whatever it is, hold on." Chris whispered to the wind.+ + + + + + +
The others had stood transfixed as they friends had got to have fun with their new plaything, but now as their painful erections screamed for release they wanted their turn. They quickly finished untying Vin's hands and watched as the tracker fell forward into Harv's waiting hands. Grinning and still trying to catch his breath, Harv ran his probing hands up under Vin's shirt as he continued to thrust his spent groin against his disgusted captive.
"No wonder Larabee likes spending time with ya," Harv grinned as his tongue slipped from his mouth and he began to slowly lick Vin's throat. "Yer betta' than a ten dolla' whore and we ain't even got started on ya yet."
"Yep, he sure is a purty piece, ain't he Harv?" Jake whistled as he ran his fingers around Vin's now slippery ass cheeks and began to probe between them. "Just lookin' at that tight body of his is makin' me hard all over again," he leered as he pushed his fingers past Vin's hole.
Vin jerked from the rough penetration, but the only effect it had was to push his body into his other attacker.
"Eager ain't ya?" Harv chuckled.
"Come on Joe, let's get in on this before Jake and Harv use him all up," one said
"Yeah, Jake!" Joe spoke up, approaching the men holding Vin.
"Smitty's right, you're gonna use him up and he won't be any fun for us two."
"You'll git yer turn," Jake retorted, turning away from Vin, to challenge the younger men. "Just gotta be patient-like."
Harv reached down and placed his hand on Vin's penis. Finding it still flaccid, the outlaw motioned to one of the other men. "Get over here and work on this one. I got to hold him still for Jake." Jerking Vin forward so he was bent at the waist, Harv watched as Jake twisted and probed his finger deeper inside Vin.
Vin fought the tears that wanted to form. Dark memories from his past flooded his mind. Lining up in the hallway after all the other boys were asleep. Rancid heavy breathing on his naked back while fingers opened and pressed inside him. Vin was too small to take an organ of any size, and the headmaster of the boy's home had satisfied himself stretching and probing Vin while he climaxed on the ground between the boy's legs. Left to stand alone, cold and hurting in a darkened passage way; Vin had cried with the shame and hurt of it all.
Now these men were robbing him of all the sweetness and caring Chris had shown him. Terrified at first, by Chris's attention, Vin had unconsciously resisted even Chris's tender advances. Much patience and kindness had shown Vin a lovemaking that brought him more than just physical satisfaction. It had helped to heal the nightmares that had threatened to take Vin's sanity from him. Chris had created a safe haven for Vin to grow and explore in . . . These men were taking it all away.
Vin felt the third man begin to lick and suck his shaft. His attention drawn from Jake, Vin screamed out loud when the man thrust awkwardly inside him. Harv slapped Vin's face, shutting down the scream and held him as Jake tried to work his penis inside Vin. A forth pair of hands grabbed Vin's neck and forced him forward at the waist again, allowing Jake better access to Vin's exposed buttocks.
But, Smitty was tired of being left out. Losing his patience, and wanting a piece of the action, before it was too late for fun and games, he grabbed onto Jake and began to pull him away from the Vin.
"Joe and me are tired of leftovers!" Smitty yelled as he lunged at Jake. Joe caught on and went for Harv.
Vin moaned as Smitty finally managed to pull Jake completely out of him. He could feel blood trickling out of his body from the rough, forced entry.
Meanwhile, in the not too far distance, Chris Larabee had heard the scream. Vin! Cut off quickly and carried away with the wind, it was short lived. But it was definitely Vin. Turning his horse toward the sound, Chris urged Pony into a trot.+ + + + + + +
With the four men now fighting amongst themselves, Vin found himself suddenly free. Slowly pulling up his pants as he inched away from the men, backing up towards the trees he had been tied to, he hoped and prayed that they would keep up their little fight long enough for him to get away. When he was far enough away from the still arguing men to risk standing up, however, he found that he didn't have the strength to do so.
'Shit!' he swore, rolling to his side. Crawling would have to do. He headed slowly toward the sound of the river, keeping a keen ear listening for pursuit from his captors.
Ignoring the protests from his beaten, broken body, Vin forced himself to move away from his four attackers.
He no longer begged for Chris to come and rescue him, not wanting the older man to witness his shame and humiliation. Instead, Vin Tanner just wanted to find a place to hide away, and recover from his injuries by himself. Then he'd get as far away from Four Corners as he was able. Chris would never want him now. And he never wanted anyone to touch him like those men had done, ever again. In his mind now, it was all the same. In the span of a few hours, the months Chris had spent, tenderly and patiently teaching Vin about the ways of love, faded away from Vin's memories. His body running on adrenaline and an almost animalistic instinct now, Vin continued scampering further and further away from the men. He heard sounds of hoofbeats, and pulled himself into a clump of scrub brush for cover. The scraggly shrubs didn't really offer much protection for Vin, but he curled himself in as small as ball as he was able, and held his breath.+ + + + + + +
Chris saw the movement in the scattering of brush, and in a blur of motion, pulled his gun, dismounted from Pony and ran to the outcropping of bushes. Pointing his gun into the bushes, Chris barked out a command.
"Come outta there now, hands up where I can see 'em!"
Vin froze. Chris, it was Chris. "Chris?"
"Vin. God Vin, come on outta there. I've been looking for you," Chris choked out with relief.
Before Vin could reply, the four attackers came rushing toward them.
"Who the hell are you? Harv demanded angrily. "And, what the hell do you want?"
Chris's lips tightened, but he kept his voice carefully neutral. "Name's Chris Larabee. And, I want Vin Tanner."
"Larabee? You're Chris Larabee?" Harv couldn't believe their luck. He'd been lying to Tanner, when he'd told him he'd seen Tanner and Larabee together. He'd only seen a picture of Larabee, and it musta been an old one at that. This man was at least ten years older than the man in the picture. Well, his lie hadn't worked, Tanner hadn't talked, but Larabee had just delivered himself into their hands. "Well, this day's just gettin' better and better," the outlaw crowed. "Larabee, you ain't gettin' Tanner back and you ain't goin' nowhere yerself. We're gettin' $5,000. to kill him and deliver you alive. Now, seems to me, yer outgunned four to one and you ain't gonna give us no trouble."
"You think so?" Chris's eyes were like green ice and he smiled ferally at the men. He could see that three of them were getting very nervous. The only one who didn't flinch, was the man who'd done all the talking. He'd be the one to take out first.
If the three men riding with Harv Gannon knew how they were being sized up and categorized methodically, by who to kill first, they would have been even more nervous than they already were. However, the only thing they were aware of, was that the man worth so much money to them, was staring at them, like a wolf eyeing his dinner.
Harv moved. It was a subtle, almost invisible move, but Chris caught it. Larabee had his gun out and Harv lay dead, before any of the others realized what was happening. And he'd turned and shot Jake, who's gun had just cleared his holster. Joe cried out and raised his hands, and Smitty turned and ran. Chris let him go and put his gun to Joe's head.
"Who are you, and who's the one that got away?" he asked coldly.
"J - Joe Burke and that fella was Wayne Smith. W - we call him Smitty," the young man sniveled, too frightened to lie.
"Who were you workin' for? Chris hissed at the man.
"Don't know, I swear it Mister. Harv was the only one who talked to her. Said she wanted Tanner dead, and hurt bad b'fore he died. Wanted you alive and knowin' how Tanner died," Joe sniveled in fear.
"Her?" Chris demanded, as realization set in.
"Yeah, Harv called her Ellen or Elly or something," Joe put in, trying to ingratiate himself enough, so that Larabee wouldn't kill him.
"Ella," Chris said tonelessly.
"Yeah, that was it, Mr. Larabee, Ella."
"Get the hell outta here, kid and if I ever see you again, I'll kill you," Chris said in a voice that made Joe decide that he'd do whatever he had to do, to avoid ever seeing Chris Larabee again.
Chris kept his gun out, until he was sure both of the outlaws were long gone. Finally holstering his pistol, he turned back to the small clump of brush Vin had hidden in.
"Vin?" he called gently. When he got no answer, Chris pushed the bush aside and gasped at the sight that greeted him. The Vin he remembered was gone, in its place was a bloody mass of abused flesh. "Vin? It's alright they're gone. You can come out now."
The wounded tracker felt like a wolf that had been caught in a trap, all he wanted was to be left alone to die. "Go away." His voice was barely a whisper as he tried to hide his body from his lover's sympathetic gaze.
There was an audible intake of breath from Chris as Vin's attempts to hide his body only managed to reveal more of the damage that had been inflicted on the tracker. "Oh God Vin, what did they do?"
"Jest go away," Vin pleaded softly as he sat willing a hole to open up and swallow him.
Trying not to startle his lover, Chris slowly sank to his knees as he attempted to get closer to Vin. "I ain't going nowhere without you Vin, but I can't see how bad you're hurt in there. You have to come out-- let me look at you."
"Don't ya hear good?" Vin shot back. "I told ya to leave me alone!"
Worried about the amount of blood that covered Vin's body and not realizing the full extent of his lover's injuries, Chris lost his patience. "Damn it Vin, I'm just trying to help, but if you're going to act like a child, I'll just have to come in there and drag you out."
That was the final straw for the mistreated tracker. All the abuse he had suffered in the last few hours, melded with his past and tainted the life he had had with the man in front of him. A scream that came from the bottom of his soul tore free from his throat and he lunged at the black clad gunfighter.
Chris was taken completely by surprise by the sudden attack. Vin barreled right into his chest, knocking him onto his back and before he knew it, the tracker had straddled him and was hitting him. The punches were weak, but Chris saw the fury behind them in the tortured blue eyes of the man above him.
"NO! You can't make me do nothin'! Nobody's gonna make me! Not that goddamn headmaster! Not those goons! Not you!" Vin shouted, each statement accented with a weak punch.
Chris didn't immediately understand what had gotten into the younger man. But for some reason, he didn't stop Vin from hitting him. Somehow he knew it was necessary. Hell, the man had been beaten and tortured for who knows how long. He was hurt, in pain. But then, it all stopped. He looked up.
Vin was suddenly still. Tears pouring from sad blue eyes, he saw the confusion in Chris's.
"I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault. Got no right to hit you," he whispered, just before collapsing down onto Chris, losing consciousness.
Chris sighed deeply as he put his arms around his lover, holding him safely in an embrace. After a moment, he let go and gently rolled Vin off of him. It was time to tend to his injuries.+ + + + + + +
Taking off his coat, Chris made a pillow for Vin's head as he prepared to take off Vin's blood stained clothing. Using his knife carefully, he cut away the remains of Vin's shirt. Steeling himself when he heard Vin cry out, Chris continued to pick away at the fabric stuck to Vin's wounds. Scattered across Vin's chest was a smattering of deep puncture wounds with fabric imbedded inside each wound. After heating the tip of his knife, Chris placed his hand on Vin's shoulder and started pulling the sticky bloody fabric away with the hot knife.
Vin felt the fiery probe dig inside his skin. Screaming he tried to sit up but was held back by pain and fatique as much as Chris' hand. "Vin, I'm sorry, pard. These wounds gotta be cleaned. I ain't got Nathan's touch, sorry . . . and I gotta save what water we got to get us home. Just try and hang in there."
Peeling away more of the remains of Vin's shirt, Chris sucked a breath through his teeth when he saw the neat row of lacerations along Vin's ribs. Someone had know just how to make cuts so that everytime Vin moved or took a breath, the cuts would gape open and be exposed to the air. Each movement of Vin's chest was a shuttering moan.
Looking at Vin's face, Chris saw only exhaustion. The tracker was beyond caring. His weak attempts to push Chris' hands away were easily deflected by the blonde leader and soon Vin had only the strength to lie quietly and try to will the pain in his body away. Chris finally finished cleaning the wounds as well as he could with the knife and some water from the canteen. Going to his horse to get a clean shirt for bandages, Chris turned around and started back toward Vin.
Looking closely as he approached his injured friend, Chris saw a dark shadow between Vin's legs he hadn't seen before. Kneeling down, Chris pressed his hand in the ground and brought his hand up. His fingers and palm were covered with blood and dirt. Gently pressing Vin's legs apart, Chris noticed the blood soaked area of his lover's pants.
Fearing the worst, Chris retrieved his blanket from his saddle and gently covered Vin's upper body and lower back. Reaching across Vin's hips, Chris pulled him so that Vin's body rested against his thighs. Gently pulling Vin's pants downward, Chris felt this stomach tighten at the fresh blood smeared on Vin's buttocks. There were deep nail marks across Vin's waist and lower back but most of the blood was coming from between Vin's cheeks.
With tears in his eyes, Chris finished the job by cutting away Vin's ruined pants. Taking the clean shirt, he ripped it into strips and wrapped the wounds on Vin's chest and back as tightly as he could. With great care, Chris cleaned the area between Vin's buttocks with more water. Leaning closer he saw the torn and assaulted wound that was oozing a trickle of blood. Pressing several strips of cloth into a pad, he ignored Vin's screams as he tried to stop the bleeding by pushing the pad up between Vin's cheeks.
"Chris . . . please." Vin moaned. "Don't! Hurts . . . Just leave me be . . . I ain't worth fussing over now."
Vin's words stunned Chris and he finally lost control. And, bending low so he could gather Vin closer, Chris Larabee wept.+ + + + + + +
He allowed himself only a few moments of weakness, before he gathered his composure. He angrily wiped at the few tears that had escaped, disgusted with himself for being so selfish. Vin was the one who had been through hell, and needed him to be strong, but instead, here he was bawling like a baby.
"I'm sorry Vin," he said softly, stroking the matted, damp hair lightly, hoping to offer his lover and best friend some small measure of comfort. "I'm gonna take care of you and we're gonna get out of here now."
"No . . . leave . . . me . . . alone," Vin gasped out. "Told ya . . . I ain't . . . worth . . ."
"Vin, don't ever say that again," Chris broke in gently, but firmly. "You're worth everything to me, nothing can change that."
"No Chris . . . they did . . . they made me . . ."
"It doesn't matter Vin," Chris stated flatly. "I'm just sorry I didn't kill every one of those sons of bitches when I had 'em."
Vin was losing his fight to stay conscious, but Chris's words chilled him to the bone. "They're . . . still . . . still . . . alive?" Vin whispered, his dull blue eyes widening in horror.
"Not for long Vin, don't worry," Chris reassured, hugging the younger man to him carefully. The two men that were still alive would pay for what they'd done to Vin. He'd hunt them down to the ends of the earth if that's what it took. But first, he needed to get Vin back to town. Staring at the bruised, beaten face, still so heartbreakingly beautiful, he watched as Vin's eyes closed. Even sound asleep, Vin grimaced from the pain of his injuries.
Looking down at the blood stained pad between Vin's buttocks, Chris felt himself begin to shake with a black rage. They'd raped him. Four of them had forced themselves on his sweet, gentle lover, doing God knows what else to him. Killing was too good for these bastards.
Forcing himself to calm, for Vin's sake, Chris kissed his lover softly, mindful of the swollen, torn lips. He shrugged out of his coat and maneuvered Vin so that he could put the warm garment on him. Chris buttoned it and then picked Vin up gently and walked over to his mount. He had to get Vin to Nathan -- fast.+ + + + + + +
"Ch - ch - chris, no!" Vin had awakened and was now struggling weakly in Larabee's arms.
"Vin, I have to get you to Nathan, now," Chris insisted gently.
"N - not like this," Vin begged. "Take m - me t - to yer sh - shack."
Chris was torn between getting Vin to the help he so desperately needed and the tracker's obvious distress. Reluctantly, he decided to compromise. He'd take Vin to his house, but then he'd ride to town and get Nathan. "OK, Vin, I'll take you back to my place," he soothed.
Vin relaxed visibly then and allowed Chris to help him onto the horse. Chris's coat covered his torso, but the cheeks of his ass and his legs were bare. The older man knew how embarassed Vin would be riding like that and quickly untied his bedroll from the back of his horse. Wrapping it around Vin's middle, he was satisfied that at least Vin's private areas were completely covered. He thought about stripping one of the dead men of his pants, but imagining how Vin would react to the idea of having any of their clothes on, Chris quickly abandoned the idea. His coat and blanket would have to do.
It only took Chris a few minutes to find Peso still tethered to a tree. Hastily, he untied the blaze faced gelding and fixed the reins over his own saddle horn. Vin was in and out and it was plain that Chris was going to have to ride with him to keep him in the saddle. He swung up behind the younger man and chucked to the horses and moved out as quickly as he dared.+ + + + + + +
Throughout the long ride back to his place, Chris kept up an uncharacteristic stream of chatter. He told Vin about an article Mary wanted to do for the paper and about a frog Billy had found. He detailed Buck and JD's latest antics and he reported on Ezra's latest mark. And, he tried not to hear the tiny moans and whimpers that escaped his lover with every step the horse took. Twice he stopped and managed to rouse Vin enough to get him to swallow a few sips of water.
When he finally reined his horse to a stop in front of his house, Chris quickly dismounted and eased Vin off of the horse. The Texan was barely conscious and Chris had to carry his limp body into the house. He disentangled the blanket that he'd wrapped around Vin from his body and covered him with it, leaving his coat on his lover.
"I gotta get Nathan out here Vin," Chris spoke softly and gently stroked Vin's face. He wasn't sure if Vin could hear him, but he needed to try to make him understand. He hated the idea of leaving the younger man alone, but if Nathan didn't get here soon, Chris was terrified that there wouldn't be any need for him to come at all.
Chris started to stand, when he felt Vin's fingers twist in his sleeve.
"D - don't let N - Nathan . . . see me . . . like this," Vin gasped out weakly.
"Vin, you need Nathan bad," Chris told him sadly.
"Please," Vin pleaded and brushed a trembling hand over his own abdomen. "G - et them . . . o - off . . . m - me . . . f - first."
Chris's heart broke at the anguish he heard in Vin's broken drawl. Vin had to know that Nathan would know what the bastards had done to him, the minute he examined him. However, the tracker was still desperate to keep Nathan from seeing the filth those animals had left on him. Looking into those troubled blue eyes so full of pain and shame, Chris didn't have the heart to refuse him. Gently stroking Vin's hair away from his face, Chris kissed him gently on the forehead. "Alright pard, I'll clean you up first," he whispered sorrowfully.+ + + + + + +
Quietly setting about filling a bowl with water, Chris kept a concerned eye on his lover. This was wrong, he should be on his way to get Nathan. Vin needed more help than water and his silent rage.
He had refused to allow his imagination to put pictures to the wounds that marred Vin's tortured body. The gunfighter was so afraid of what Vin would see in his eyes if he did. This was all his fault, Vin had suffered the tortures of the damned because of him.<Damn that bitch! If it was the last thing he did, he would see that woman burn in Hell>
"T-they're . . . still . . . touchin' . . . me . . . get . . . 'em . . . off," Vin pleaded.
"I'm coming Vin," Chris sighed as he pushed his anger down, and grabbed the bowl, making his way quickly to his lover's side. "It's a might cold Vin, I ain't got time to heat some water," Chris warned the injured tracker.
"Don't . . . care . . . jest . . . get . . . 'em . . . off . . . me," Vin repeated, his voice becoming more desperate.
"Shhh," Chris soothed as he ran put the palm of his hand to Vin's cheek, ignoring the flinch the action caused in his lover. "It's gonna be alright. No one is going to hurt you again. You ready?"
A shudder shook the tracker's body as he nodded and closed his eyes.
Pulling the blanket out if the way, Chris's face was like stone as he viewed the mess that the animals had left behind. Gently padding the cloth to Vin's skin, he felt his lover go rigid under his touch, but he continued to clean away the filthy evidence, though Chris knew it would not so easy to clean the stain from Vin's soul.+ + + + + + +
After only about half an hour, though it seemed a lifetime, Chris finally finished bathing the tracker - ridding him of the visible dirt, grime - filth - that those bastards had left. He'd gently washed the wounds again, too.
Taking a clean sheet from a shelf near his bed, he ripped it into strips and wrapped up Vin's bloodied chest and wrists. He took another strip and folded it carefully, pressing against Vin's bruised and still bloody anus.
The tracker hadn't made a sound during that time, other than a few painful intakes of breath when he'd touched his wounds. He'd just stared at the ceiling, silently allowing Chris to bathe him.
Vin hated the fact that even Chris's gentle touch repulsed him. At this point, he didn't care if no one ever touched him again. If he could have bathed himself, he would have. But he couldn't, and having Chris touch and bathe him was better than leaving the filth on him, so he'd allowed it.
Chris had found a spare pair of pants and a shirt for Vin to wear while they rode to town. He hated the thought of having to put Vin back on a horse for he ride to town. But thinking of how Vin was ready to be left in the wilds and his earlier resistance to his help, Chris kept wondering if the tracker would leave the shack on his own if he left to fetch Nathan.
So now, he had to wake him, dress him and get him on the horse - just to ensure that the tracker would stay with him - at least physically. "Come on, Vin. Let's get some clothes on you for the ride to town," Chris said, gently pulling Vin to a sitting position to put on the shirt.
"No. Just leave me," Vin replied. "You can go get Nathan and bring him here."
Chris heard the tone of Vin's voice. He knew his fear of Vin leaving on his own was right. He continued to dress the tracker, still mindful of his injuries and said, "So you can sneak off on your own? I don't think so, Vin. I'm not gonna let you go that easily." When the shirt was on and buttoned, Chris paused and put a hand to Vin's cheek, forcing the tracker to at least face him and continued, "No matter what you're thinking - no matter what happened to you in the past or what happened two hours ago, it doesn't change a thing between us. You're still the man I love and want in my life. And right now, I'm gonna make sure you stay there by getting you the help you need from Nathan."
Vin tried to ignore Chris - he couldn't break away from the gunslinger's grip, but he did close his eyes. If only there were a way to close his ears, he thought. Then he wouldn't have had to listen to Chris tell him those lies. When Chris stopped talking, he opened his eyes. And saw the green eyes of his lover staring at him. He took a good hard look into them, and was startled to realize that Chris hadn't been lying to him. He meant what he had said. The past didn't matter.+ + + + + + +
The past didn't matter to Chris, but it really matter to Vin. In fact it was consuming him. I was all he could think of as Chris saddled their horses. Vin had insisted that he could ride by himself not wanting to face the townspeople while being cradled in Chris' arms.
Chris argued with Vin over his stubborness in wanting to ride Peso. "Vin, you can't ride in that saddle by yourself. You're already bleeding. You wanna do more damage?" Chris raised his voice slightly, frustrated at Vin's resistance to sense and reason. "Vin? Vin are you listening? Cause I'm . . . ." Chris stopped talking and turned to face the bed where Vin was lying.
Vin had drawn himself up into a ball. Clutching a pillow against his stomach, he rocked back and forth, tears streaming down his face. He wasn't making any sound because he was crying so hard it was making it hard for him to breathe.
Disgusted with his own lack of sympathy, Chris grabbed a bottle of whiskey and approached Vin's side. "Hey, cowboy. I'm sorry. Please, here . . . take a drink . . . please don't cry anymore. I . . . you can . . . we'll find a way to make it so you can ride by yourself." Chris talked soothingly to Vin which stroking his hair. The sobbing eventually stopped and Chris was able to get Vin to drink a liberal dose of the whiskey. Easing Vin's head down, he watched as the tracker fell asleep from exhaustion and the effects of the whiskey. Covering him with a blanket, Chris went back outside to finish with the horses.
Once he had finished, Chris went to a shelf and pulled down a pair of old work pants. They would provide more room for what he had in mind than the first pair he had Vin put on. Tucked into Vin's boots, no one would notice the legs were too long. Using his knife, Chris cut the back off a small pillow he and Sarah had gotten as a wedding present. Looking at the scorched place on the lace edge, Chris recalled how he had saved the pillow from the ruins of the farmhouse. Pulling out the soft lambs wool inside, Chris wrapped a piece of soft cotton around it, making a padding for Vin against the leather of his saddle. The burned pillow was a part of his past. Vin was his future.
When all was prepared, Chris woke Vin and helped him put on the pants and boots. Chris felt Vin leaning on him heavily and knew that even if Vin could stand riding Peso alone, Chris was still going to have to be right beside him. Pulling Peso over to the porch bench, he helped Vin open the front of his pants and they worked the padding between Vin's legs.
Carefully, Chris helped Vin up on Peso and then climbed on Pony. Riding slowly, they started out for town. Chris could see that Vin was in pain. Despite the padding, the extend of tissue damage soon had Vin cringing with every step Peso took.
"Chris?" Vin's voice was so soft that Chris hadn't been sure Vin had even spoken.
"What Vin?" Chris reached over and touched Vin's shoulder as he reined in Pony. Leaning closer, he saw the white pasty look on Vin's face and looking down saw the fresh blood soaking through the padding of Vin's pants.
"Don't feel so good." Vin's voice was a whisper. Vin's hands were covered with blood as he clutched the mane of his horse.
"Shit! Vin . . . " Chris jumped down and managed to catch Vin before he fell off Peso. Lowering Vin to the ground, Chris saw the tracker was unconscious. Pulling his bedroll down, Chris carried Vin to a area underneath a near-by tree. As he reached with his hands to check Vin more closely, he heard the sound of horses approaching. Moving the blanket to cover Vin, Chris stood and placed his body between Vin and the approaching riders.
Nathan and Josiah saw Chris standing and turning towards them. Curious as to why Chris was standing under at tree with two horse, the increased the pace of their horses. Rounding the curve, they saw Chris turn and bend down toward a figure on the ground.
Nathan was off his horse and moving toward Chris before it had stopped trotting. He could see clearly that the fallen figure was Vin. Moving to Vin's side, Nathan was taken back by the white sheen on Vin's face. Reaching out, Nathan felt the young man's face and was troubled to find it hot. Looking at the makeshift bandages wrapping Vin's chest, Nathan looked directly at Chris. "Chris, what happened?"+ + + + + + +
"Four men attacked him," Chris said, capturing Nathan's eyes with his own steely gaze, daring the healer to show anything less than sympathy and compassion for Vin as he treated the younger man.
Nathan understood Chris's words and glance, and simply nodded his head as he began to tend to Vin. There was no need for further explanation, as Nathan saw the blood between Vin's legs, the bandages around his chests and wrists, and the beaten face. Nathan had seen it plenty on the plantation. Had been shooed away out of the slave cabins when'd he'd been younger, asked to help the plantation healer treat them when he was older. Vin had been brutalized, taken by force, against his will. The act itself digusted Nathan, but that had nothing to do with Vin. Even if Chris's hadn't given him the threatening glare, he would think no less of the tracker. Vin was the innocent victim, and Nathan would do all he could to help Vin recover physically and mentally.
He turned to Josiah and Chris. "We've gotta get him to town. I've just got a few bandages with me and some laudanum, but he needs more help than that."
"I'll get your things Nathan," Josiah said, and hurried over to the healer's saddlebags. Vin began to regain consciousness as he brought them to Nathan's side.
"Vin, you're gonna be just fine," Nathan said, lightly stroking Vin's cheek to reassure the injured man. "We'll get ya back to the clinic and you'll be good as new."
"No . . . no, never . . . be . . . " Vin forced out, starting to struggle. "Leave . . . me . . . "
"Vin, stop, let Nathan treat you."
The tracker froze at the sound of Chris's voice. "Noooo . . . " he begged softly, a sprinkling of tears brimming at his blue eyes. "Let me go, I ain't worth . . . "
"Dammit Vin, we've been through this," Chris chided gently, dropping down next to the younger man, grasping his hand lightly. "Just rest Vin, and let us take care of you." He looked down into Vin's pale face, his stomach lurching at the sadness and uncertainty reflected there.
"Can you give us a few minutes?" Chris asked Nathan and Josiah.
"Chris I gotta . . . " Nathan began to protest, but then Josiah cut in.
"C'mon Nathan, let's go see if there's any water around here," Josiah suggested.
"All right, but I ain't gonna be gone long," Nathan huffed. "He needs to get back to town."
"A few minutes aren't gonna matter, are they Nathan?" Joshiah asked.
The healer shook his head.
"We'll get him back soon as we can, then," Josiah said, giving Chris a slight nod as he and Nathan walked away.
When Nathan and Josiah were out of hearing range, Chris leaned over to Vin.
"Cowboy, it's just you and me, I sent Josiah and Nathan away."
Vin stared up at Chris, the tears starting to form again in the blue eyes.
"Listen to me Vin," Chris pleaded, "I love you. Same as I did before, nothing's changed. You're my life and if anything happens to you, it happens to me."
"No Chris," Vin began in a hoarse whisper.
"Vin, we're gonna get you well, and then we'll put this behind us. We'll take a trip somewhere together, just you and me. Please stay with me, cowboy, please," Chris begged, his own eyes stinging with unshed tears. "Don't leave me, please, Vin. I love you," Chris pled, hanging his head as his voice broke.
Vin reached for Chris with a shaking hand, wanting to comfort his distraught lover. He touched the blond hair with the tips of his fingers, feeling the head tilt up at his caress.
"Vin?" Chris said softly, the ghost of a hopeful smile touching his lips.
"Guess . . . if ya want me to get better . . . that bad, I better. Sure don't . . . wanna piss ya . . . off, pard," Vin whispered with the last of his energy.
Chris pressed Vin's hand to his lips, then bent down and kissed Vin on the mouth gently. "It'll be all right Vin, you'll see," Chris promised.
Vin stiffened when Chris bent closer, but he forced himself to relax. Chris was gentle with him, so different from the four men. The four men who had tried to take everything away from him, and very nearly succeeded.
Vin drifted back toward unconsciousness, thinking about how he needed to get well for Chris's sake. Chris needed him, and he would be there for him, just like he knew Chris would be there to help him heal.
"Love ya, Chris," Vin whispered as he closed his eyes.+ + + + + + +
"Been long enough, Josiah. Vin can't wait no more," Nathan glared at the older man, daring him to argue.
Josiah had no intention of arguing. He just made sure they made a lot of noise on the way back. Vin and Chrise were intensely private people, and whatever they were sharing, Josiah was sure, they didn't want anyone else to hear.
"How's he doin', Chris?" Nathan asked, as he crouched down beside the two men.
"Passed out again," Chris said worriedly.
"I'll hold him the rest of the way," Josiah offered kindly.
"I'll do it," Chris responded.
"No. You won't."
Both men turned to stare at the healer.
"Josiah's gonna do it," Nathan stated flatly. "He's stronger and I ain't gonna risk your arms givin' out and Vin fallin'."
"I ain't gonna drop him," Chris argued.
Nathan put a hand on his shoulder. "Chris, I know you wouldn't drop him for anything, but them arms of yours might plumb give out on ya and Vin's the one gonna pay the price. I ain't takin' that chance."
Chris saw the concern in Nathan's eyes. His softly spoken words made sense and as much as he wanted to, Larabee couldn't argue with him. Vin's safety was more important than Chris's need to take care of him. So, reluctantly, he agreed.
"Alright. Josiah, mount up and we'll hand him up to ya," Chris said curtly. Just because he saw the wisdom in Nathan's words, didn't mean he had to like them.
Josiah smiled to himself. With Chris Larabee in his corner, Vin was bound to get well. Chris would fight the devil himself to make sure of it.
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