Wild Kingdom

by Twyla Jane

The disclaimer is and always will be I don't own 'em and never made a plug nickel off 'em. Wish I did. This ain't betaed. All the mistakes are mine and mine alone. Thanks to Mog for this AU this is the sequel to my story Back from Baja.

With two of his boys tagged and their mobility hindered from the healing injuries, Chris felt he could kick back and relax to enjoy watching the game. He had left the door open to the guest room just to be sure that the Ez and Vin didn't get into too much trouble. Through out the remainder of the day he heard the occasional muffled curse and odd thump, thankfully for the most part they had slept the memories of the Tijuana misadventure was the furthest thing from their minds.

By mid afternoon the following day Buck had stopped by the Larabee ranch and fired up the grill in the back yard, leaving JD in the kitchen to make up the special barbeque sauces for hamburger patties and hot dogs it wasn't long before after that Josiah showed up with his famed chili and Nathan who brought an assortment of potato, macaroni and three bean salads along with a few large bags of chips. Ezra and Vin had staggered out earlier in the day and under Larabee's watchful eye ate an early lunch but hadn't seen since the rest of the team arrived.

"You really did it?" Buck asked after taking a swig of beer. The golden hues of the sun as it set cast long shadows over the yard.

"Yup!" Larabee smiled as he settled back in his chair, enjoying the effects of the long and relaxing day.

"I can't believe you put electronic anklets on them... way to go Marlin Perkins..." Wilmington snickered and lightly jabbed his old friend in the arm.

"I had to do something to keep those two in line..." The gruff blond shrugged before correcting the ladies man. "And Buck, I hate to tell ya but Jim did all the rough work while Perkins narrated."

"Well pardon my ass..."

Dunne who had been quietly listening spewed out his beer and started coughing. The conversation went silent for a moment, everyone watching on as their youngest tried to gasp in an easy breath.

"You okay Kid?" Buck's query was answered with a slow nod.

"Whoa they're gotta be pissed..." JD statement was wheezed out as he tried to get his breathing under control.

"Too bad... those idiots really pissed me off... could have of gotten themselves killed..." Chris settled back in his chair again once he realized that Dunne was all right and closed his eyes as he listened to the conversation going on around him.


"Hmmh... yeah JD?" The older man's response was muttered. His consumption of alcohol was sneaking up on him.

"Where did you get the anklets?" Dunne sounded curious.
"Called in a few favors..." He didn't even open his eyes when he answered.

"Our misguided brothers will not take this lying down..."Josiah rumbled out, Chris couldn't figure out exactly why the man sounded greatly amused.

"So far they have... they're sleeping again." Was Larabee's pat reply.

"Just because they are quiet doesn't mean they're sleeping..." Sanchez laughed quietly.

"Want me to check on them?" Nathan asked seriously.

"Nah let them be for now..." Chris sighed back as he slunk further down in his seat.

"Okay it's your funeral ... they're probably in the other room plotting to get even right now." Jackson chuckled.

Chris' smile dipped a little and he shook his head. Didn't anyone understand what he had to do just have some semblance of order? Probably not considering that it wasn't Tanner and Standish getting to trouble it was someone else.

Another quiet conversation was going inside the Larabee home.

"Hey Ez how are you going to get these anklets off with one hand..." Tanner lay on the bed watching Standish struggle with the contraption semi darkened room.

"It's a talent my mother has tried to cultivate for years...." Ezra didn't break concentration as he huffed out his answer.

"Jist think a kitchen knife would work better..." Vin squinted in the low light trying to see just how the slick undercover agent planned on freeing himself and tried to offer a solution of his own.

"Mr. Tanner, I for one would like to keep my lower extremities intact..." The long-suffering reply caused Tanner to snicker before he rolled on his back again, listening to Standish grunt and curse under his breath.

Ten minutes later with a light sheen of sweat across his normally taciturn face Ezra let out a derisive snort as the second loathsome device clattered to the floor as it fell from Vin's leg.

"Now what?" The weary Texan drawled out

"We rest..." There was a rustling of sheets and the creaking of bedsprings as Ez sank down in the bed next to Vin before the man responded.

"Then?" The question was slurred as Tanner fought to stay awake.

"We get even..." The quiet reply was the last thing Vin heard as he drifted off to sleep.

The sun had barely crested the horizon when Chris cracked open a bloodshot eye to see two sniggering fools propped up in his bedroom doorway. He groaned as the pounding in his head began in earnest and he fought against the bile that was rising in his throat. Even his wretched condition the god-awful shit eating grins they wore struck a chord and made him wonder just what they had been up to.

"Think we ought to tell him now or later Ez?" Vin slowly drawled out the words.

"Tell me what?" Chris snarled back at them, most of the bite was lost as the contents of his stomach threatened to vacate.

"Oh Mr. Tanner I believe that is something he should figure out on his own..." The southerner's sugared tone had a spiteful edge to it.

"What the hell are you idiots talking about?" Larabee snapped back as his mutinous body gurgled loud enough for the others to hear.

"Never mind Mr. Larabee... Mr. Tanner shall we?" Standish's prime and proper manner received a deadly glare from the man strewn across the bed. The agent gestured for his co-worker to move down the hall.

"Why yes Mr. Standish...after you..." Vin waved for Standish to go first. The under cover agent smiled and grabbed Tanner elbow with his good arm. With the additional support the sharpshooter began to totter away out of Chris' view.

"I do hope one thing Mr. Tanner, that being he learns a lesson from this and turns the other cheek..."

The pair leaned heavily on one another while trying to produce some facsimile of grace as they hobbled from the room leaving a bewildered Chris in their wake.

"Ez? I have a question..."

"What would that be?"

"How did ya get someone out here on such short notice?"

A hung over Larabee didn't catch the rest of the muffled conversation as it moved away farther down the hall. Not until he shifted slightly on top of his bed did his notice a dull throbbing. The discomfort was located on his back towards his hip, after a moment's thought he realized it was lower in the vicinity of his right buttock. After some frantic groping he managed to draw down his boxers enough to reveal a freshly inked tattoo. A muddled thought skittered through his mind.

I didn't get that drunk...

A fucking cartoon burro?

A highly amused Vin and Ezra teetered into the living room in time to hear an outraged cry from Chris' bedroom followed by a loud thud.


The pair didn't slow down as scream echoed through the room as they heading towards the front door.

"I think he found the source of pain in his ass..." Standish chuckled as he turned the knob let in the mid morning sun.

"In more ways than one..." Tanner barely contained his humor as his awkward stride painfully cleared the threshold. The knee brace hindering him somewhat as he prepared to limp down the steps.

"That would be our cue to depart the premises... our chariot awaits." Ezra smiled as he saw the cab driver open the door for them.

"Ya know he's gonna kill us..." Vin grunted as climbed into the taxi.

"Maybe so... but he has to catch us first..." Ezra slid into the seat next to the team's sharpshooter as the driver closed the door behind them.

A moment later they were pulling away from the Larabee ranch with an irate Chris clad only in boxers chasing them down the dirt drive.

The pair waved as they left their boss and friend staggering to a halt shaking a fist at them when the cab's speed picked up eventually his angry form faded into the distance as the dust kicked up from the tires obscured their parting view.