Memories

by Rikke

Warning: Death fic

Note: This is my first fiction ever, so be gentle. I would love some feedback.

The song in the end is called Bright Eyes and was written by Mike Batt. It’s my favourite song, sung by Stephen Gately, and it kind of gave me the inspiration for this fiction.


She once again,let her hand slide down her round stomach. He had been so happy when she told him, the light in his beautiful hazel eyes had shined brighter and his boyish smile had been even bigger. He had kissed her with a passion she had never felt before, and while he held her tightly in his arms, he had told her how much he loved her.

She had been so scared of what his reaction would be. There where so many reasons against the pregnancy: They where too young. She had just finished college and it would be had to find a part time job. He had a dangerous and stressful job as an ATF agent. They didn’t have a place to live, and most important they where not married, something that would cause her aunt to complain, which the old lady did. She was the first person they told, and she was not happy about the situation, but she accepted it, even though they had no plans for marriage.

They had bought the apartment next to Buck’s, and moved in when she was 4 months pregnant. It was not only a safe environment for a child to grow up, it was also close to JD's best friend and "brother," whom he had lived with since he'd moved to town, and it would be too hard to move too far away from him.

The guys had actually taken the news quite well. They where of course a bit shocked by the thought that their "kid" was going to be a father, and Josiah thought it was a bit weird that they didn’t wanted to be married.

They'd spent their first night in their new apartment talking about their future. They wanted Buck to be the godfather, and her aunt Nettie to be the Godmother. They weren't too sure about the name, but he didn’t want his child to be named after him, so John was out of the question. Before they fell asleep, he told her that he loved her more than anything, and that he would never leave her or the baby. She knew how much this promise meant to him. He had never known his own father, and knew what it was like growing up with out one. She knew he was going to keep his promise.

But he didn’t. He left her 3 months later, when she was 7 month pregnant.

A bust had gone wrong and he was shot. She didn’t know the details, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know them. All she knew was that he was too young to die. He had just turned 23 the day before, and even though he had seen more than most would see in a lifetime, he hadn’t experienced life. She remembered, holding his hand and looking on his too pale face. He looked too young, but still so old. His eyes hadn’t lost  their light, when he looked at her and said in a low, shaking voice: "God, you are so beautiful. Promise me you'll take care of her Cassandra, promise me you'll take care of Carolina" and his strong grip on her hand let loose.

The funeral was like a blur to her, there were a lot of people, most of them agents or superiors. She sat next to Buck and Chris, and the two men where both crying. Even Ezra Standish, the team’s conman, who was good at hiding feelings cried, and was not ashamed of it ,ether. After the funeral she went home to their apartment - her apartment. She hadn’t been there since his death. She had lived with Mary Travis, a good friend of the team and judge Travis' daughter-in-law, but she needed some time alone with her memories and her grief. While she stood in the middle of the apartment, looking at pictures of them together, she realised that a part of her was gone forever. It broke her heart and she cried harder than ever before.

Casey Wells looked at the little girl in her arms, she had her father's black hair and his wonderful hazel eyes. She looked like an angel, and it broke her heart that JD would never meet his baby girl.

Sleep well, she whispered in a low voice, Tomorrow you are going to meet your uncles. I just wish you could meet your daddy too, but I promise I will tell you all about him. I love you Carolina.

Bright eyes, burning like fire
Bright eyes, how can you close and fail
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale? Bright Eyes

END

Comments to: Rikkebwalther@sol.dk