Computer Solutions

by MMW

Disclaimer: The boys belong to people who work in Hollywood & other such places, the universe belongs to Mog.

Author's Note: This is almost verbatim a conversation my sister and I had - only the names have been changed!


Swearing hadn't worked. Curses hadn't worked. Begging hadn't worked. Blood sacrifices were too messy. When reason also failed something snapped within Buck Willmington.

An unholy calm fell upon him causing his hands to pause above the keyboard. For several seconds Buck reveled in the knowledge that had burst upon him. He knew.

"JD?" he began, his voice eerily calm with just a hint of awe at the rightness of his course of action.

"Hmmm," replied the young man, busily working at his own PC.

"I'm having homicidal thoughts about my computer," Buck explained in the same calm tone.

All noise in the office ceased as five pairs of eyes locked onto the mustached agent. Buck had threatened to destroy his computer on a daily basis, but something about his voice, fixed expression and the maniacal gleam in his deep blue eyes sent chills down the spines of the hardened men.

"Ooooo-kay," JD said, biting his bottom lip in worry.

Shifting his eyes from the offending screen to his young friend, Buck cocked his head and asked in the same calm tone with just a hint of puzzlement, "Is it wrong to kill a computer?"

JD pushed himself away from his desk and stood slowly, never losing eye contact with Buck. Using the same soothing voice he normally reserved for skittish colts and frightened children, JD soothed, "It's OK, Buck. You're fine. Why don't you just move away from the computer and take a break."

Buck continued watching JD as the young agent worked his way around to stand next to him. His brow furrowing, Buck looked up at JD. "You don't understand," he said very seriously. "It has to die. I killed my report three times. It doesn't deserve to live."

JD nodded and made a noise Buck took to be agreement. JD was just about to snag the keyboard when Buck's hand came crashing down on it.

"No!" Buck cried out. "I get to kill it!"

Licking his lips in nervousness, JD tried something else. "What are you going to do to it?" he asked.

"Hurt it," Buck stated matter of factly. "Kill it. Hit it with a hammer repeatedly and then throw it out the window," he explained in a perfectly rational tone.

JD nodded, his eyes darting to the four other men in the room. Evaluating the stunned faces and frozen stances of Josiah, Nathan, Vin and Ezra, he knew he would have no hlep. "So, what would you tell them happened?"

"That I saw a spider on the computer and had to kill it," Buck said as if it were obvious.

JD nodded his head before clarifying, "So, you're going to say you saw a spider on your computer?"

"Yes."

"And you had to kill it?"

"Yes!" Buck agreed.

"By hitting it repeatedly with a hammer?"

A huge grin split Buck's face. "Exactly!" he exclaimed, excited that JD understood.

"Buck?" JD began.

"Yeah?"

"I think you need to take a break."

"OK," he agreed, standing. "Then we'll come back and kill the computer."

JD paused as he reached out to pat buck on the shoulder and shook his head.

THE END

Comments to: mmwert@yahoo.com