The Price of a Broken Promise by Winnie Alternate Universe: The Firm WARNING: Graphic violence.

Prologue

‘I've waited a long time for this,' the dark haired man thought as he gazed at the picture in his hands. He'd clipped it from the Billings Gazette. The picture showed a young man with long hair, blue eyes, and handsome features with his arm draped over the shoulder of another older man with blond hair and green eyes. Both men wore full hockey equipment but had removed their helmets. The smile on their faces was one of friendship and happiness. They seemed to glow in each other's presence. The picture was clipped carefully from the front page and placed on the wall in a tiny hideaway closet.

"I'll make you pay for ruining my life. I'll see that the person you care about most in your life suffers for what you did to me. Then I'll kill you. Do you hear me?" the man's voice hardly went above a whisper as he vowed his revenge on the man in the picture. "I know who you care about and I will take him from you very soon!" he tried to shout but his damaged voice box wouldn't let him scream his rage at the man whose picture covered the wall. Finally, his rage spent he slammed the door and locked the evidence away from searching eyes.

Chapter 1

"Vin, can you come in here for a minute?" Chris Larabee called from his office. As head of the elite team that worked for Orin Travis' Firm his office was separate from the other members of the team but he seldom spent time in there. He preferred to be out with the rest of the team, hashing over cases or just enjoying the company of friends.

"Sure, Chris," Tanner said, frowning at the other five men. "Wonder what I've done now?" he grinned as he walked away from his cluttered desk.

"Can you explain how the papers got hold of this?" Larabee asked as the younger man entered the office.

"Ah, Chris, I , ah, I gave it to them," Tanner said sheepishly.

"Why?"

"They wanted some pictures of us for the review of the charity events. I figured that one was perfect. I could have given them the one Ezra took in the hospital. You know the one where you climbed out of bed and ended up on the floor with your gown up around your waist," the younger man said with a grin.

"Tanner!" Larabee said in mock anger.

"Well, which one would you rather they printed?"

"You told me Ezra destroyed those pictures. So help me if you two have been showing them around I'll shoot you both."

"Come on now, Cowboy, would I do that to you?"

"That and worse," Larabee said as a grin shone on his face. "Why didn't you tell me you were doing this?"

"Knew you wouldn't let me do it," Tanner said with a smile.

"You got that right, Tanner," Larabee said. "You heard anything from Morgan recently?" he asked, knowing how Morgan had single handily broken Vin's wrist, caused JD's nose to be broken, and given him a concussion during what was supposed to be a friendly charity game.

"Nothing. The man's a sore loser and I'd be happy if we never ran into him again," Tanner said as he automatically rubbed the fiberglass cast that covered his elbow to his fingers, protecting the broken bone. The cast was due to come off the following day and Vin could hardly wait to have the use of his hand back again.

"Me too, Vin," Larabee said as he clipped the picture from the paper.

"What are you dong after work?" Tanner asked his friend.

"Go out to the ranch, maybe catch the baseball game," Larabee answered. "Care to join me?" he asked, knowing something was on the younger man's mind.

"You wouldn't mind?"

"Not at all. Actually I'd welcome the company for a change," Larabee said.

"Thanks, Chris," Tanner said as he walked back to his desk.

Chapter 2

"Mr. Woodbury, There's a gentleman here to see you."

"Who is it?" Woodbury asked as he closed the tiny closet once again, hiding the evidence of his hatred.

"Barry Whelan."

"Send him in Estelle," he said, eager to meet the man he hoped would help him extract his revenge.

"Mr. Whelan, so good of you to come," Woodbury said as he wheeled his chair out from behind his desk. He studied the short, robust man before him wondering if he deserved the reputation of being a gifted torture artist. The man's name had come up in conversation with an old friend and he highly recommended his services.

He pointed to a cushioned chair and waited for the man to sit down

"When there's money involved, especially the amount you mentioned, I always show up," Whelan said.

"Would you like a drink?" Woodbury asked as he returned to his desk and opened a fully stocked bar.

"Bourbon." Whelan smiled and took the glass from the crippled man. "Now just what do you want me to do to earn my fee?"

"Straight to business, I like that in a man, Mr. Whelan."

"In my business it pays to get straight down to business. Saves time and energy. I don't like small talk as it gives away too much of who I am."

Woodbury drained his own glass before speaking. "I want you to kill a man. Two men actually."

"I don't just kill men, Mr. Woodbury. If an assassin is what you want then you have the wrong man," Whelan said, standing to leave.

"I don't need an assassin. I need you. I want you to use your skills on one man before you kill him. I want the pleasure of killing the other man myself. Will you do it?"

"This man you want to kill did he put you in that chair and do that to your throat?"

"Yes!"

"What about the other man?" Whelan asked.

Woodbury smiled maliciously. "He's going to help me get my revenge. That's why I called you. I want this man tortured in any way, shape, or form you can imagine," he sneered.

"I have a very vivid imagination, Mr. Woodbury. How long do you want this man to live?"

"I spent six months recovering from my wounds and still ended up in this chair. I think a day for every month he took from my life should be a fitting revenge, don't you?"

"You're paying me, Mr. Woodbury. If you want him kept alive for six days or six weeks I can do it."

"Six days will be fine. I want him to suffer and for his friend to know it's his fault."

"Does this mean you want both men taken at the same time?"

"No. My friend told me you'd be willing to video tape the events."

"That will cost you extra," Whelan said.

"How much extra?"

"One hundred thousand."

"For video taping and delivery?"

"Yes, and for guaranteed quality."

"Do you want it now or when the job is done?"

"Just add it to my fee," Whelan said. "Now who are these men?"

"There names are Chris Larabee and Vin Tanner," Woodbury said as he tossed two eight by ten dossier pictures across the desk.

Whelan scowled as he looked at the man in the chair. "They work for The Firm don't they?"

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

"Not at all. Just makes things a little more interesting."

"When can you get started?"

"I'll take the first one within the next few days. I'll contact you with the time and place."

"Thank you, Mr. Whelan," Woodbury said as he looked at the pictures on the desk.

"I just have one more question."

"What's that?"

"Which one do I use my skills on?"

Woodbury smiled as he looked at the pictures on the desk. "This one," he said as he picked up the picture and tossed it to Whelan.

"This should be fun," Whelan said as he looked at the smiling face.

Chapter 3

Vin closed his eyes and leaned back against the leather couch. Memories triggered by the movie they'd just watched made his head spin. Memories he'd kept repressed because of the pain they caused.

He knew in his heart it was just a movie but every time he watched Uncommon Valour his thoughts would drift to his time as a top gun pilot. His thoughts centered on the loss of a friend in similar circumstances. Circumstances that he thought were all his fault.

Chris watched his friend's good mood suddenly sour as the final scene of the movie ended. Something about it had affected the younger man and he knew he'd have to get him to talk before it festered and turned into a long week watching his friend struggle with his thoughts. "You ready to tell me what's bothering you, Cowboy?"

Larabee asked as he passed his friend a chilled beer.

"What makes you think anything's bothering me?" Tanner asked.

"Tanner, you should know by now I can read you like an open book. I can tell something's got you moody again."

"Hell, Chris, I'm always moody according to Nathan."

"I know you, Vin. You've got something on your mind and it's tearing you apart. It might help to talk about it," the blond said.

"It happened a long time ago, Chris," Tanner said as he walked to the door and out on the porch. The moon overhead illuminated the fresh cut grass in front of Chris

Larabee's ranch house. Millions of stars shone brightly in the clear sky and the sound of crickets chirping noisily gave the night a peaceful feeling.

Chris followed the younger man, not saying a word, knowing Tanner would continue when he was ready. Larabee viewed the younger man as the brother he'd never had but always wished for.

"It was six years ago, Chris. Me and a buddy were caught in a crossfire after we crashed in Beirut and I ended up carrying him through the city. He was hurt, hurt bad, but I promised him I'd get us both out of there. I don't know how long I carried him but I do know I was exhausted by the time we reached the outskirts of the city," Tanner said as he turned towards his friend, the moonlight shining off his tear filled eyes. He took a long swallow of his beer and turned back to the empty yard.

"What happened, Vin?" Larabee prompted, knowing his friend was caught up in a living nightmare from the past.

"W...we were close to the border when they ambushed us. I took a bullet in the leg and another in the side and lost my grip on G...Gary. I...I tried but I couldn't lift him, Chris, I couldn't walk. He pleaded with me to get him out of there and I swear I tried. I promised I wouldn't leave him. I'd have done anything for him even given up my own life if I had to." Tanner said in a soft lilting voice, edged with pain and sorrow.

"I believe you, Vin, I'd trust you with my life," Larabee said.

"No! Don't you say that, Chris. Don't you ever trust me with your life. I couldn't live with that responsibility."

"Vin."

"No, Chris, don't you understand? I left him there to die."

"I don't believe that, Vin."

"How do you know? How can you possibly know what happened to me in Beirut?"

"I don't but I know who you are now and I just can't see you leaving someone behind if you could do something about it. What happened after you took the bullets?"

"I don't remember," Tanner answered a few minutes later. "Next thing I knew I woke up in a hospital. I don't even remember being transported home. When I asked about Gary they told me he never made it. They said I was the only one there when the rescue team came in. He died because I failed him!"

"Vin, you were shot yourself. There's no way you could have carried him out of there. I'm sure if he was alive he'd be the first to tell you it wasn't your fault."

"I keep hearing him screaming at me not to leave him," Tanner whispered as tears ran down his cheeks. "Next to you he was the best friend I ever had."

"I'm sorry about Gary, Vin, but you have to realize there are some things beyond our control. I lost quite a few friends while I was a Seal. Like you one of them was my best friend. We grew up together, went to the same schools, joined the SEALs together, hell we even dated the same girls at least until I met S...Sarah,"

Larabee's voice stammered on his wife's name.

"How'd he die?" Tanner asked, suddenly aware that his friend was actually sharing a part of himself.

"On a mission. We ended up separated from the rest of the team. I had a broken leg and a couple of broken ribs. Joey stayed with me and helped me get to the pick up point. The rest of the team were already onboard the chopper. There were men firing on us as we ran towards it. I...I told him to leave me but he wouldn't. He lifted me into the chopper and was climbing in behind me. I thought we'd made it..." Larabee lapsed into silence and drained the last of his beer.

"What happened?" Tanner asked, caught up in the all to familiar story.

"We pulled him in and the chopper took off. I reached out to thank Joey and my hand brushed the back of his head," the blond said as the memory brought everything to the front of his mind once again. "He'd been shot, Vin. H...he took a bullet to the back of his head because of me," Larabee said softly. "I never even got a chance to thank him because he'd died instantly. So you see, Vin, you don't have a monopoly on guilt. If Joey had left me he'd be alive today."

"I hate war."

"I think we all do, Tanner."

"Thanks, Chris," the younger man said.

"For what?"

"For telling me about your friend, and listening to me."

"I'll always be here for you," Larabee said. "Now why don't we forget feeling guilty and get another beer and catch the rest of the game?"

"Sounds like a plan, Cowboy," the younger man said.

Chapter 4

"Mr. Woodbury, the first phase of the operation is set to begin tomorrow night."

"Excellent, Mr. Whelan, I take it you found a place to hold him?" Woodbury's knuckles turned white as he gripped the phone tightly in his hands.

"We have. Would you like to be there when we bring him in?"

"I'd like that. Where do I meet you?"

"I'll send one of my men to pick you up."

"Thank you," Woodbury said as he hung up and gazed at the two men in the pictures on the desk. "I'll see you in hell," he said.

Chapter 5

"I think you'd better make use of your room here tonight," Chris said as he watched his young friend stagger towards the washroom.

"Yep, think that's the best plan I've heard all day. Hey, Chris, how come you're not drunk?" the longhaired man asked as he leaned against the bathroom door. He stumbled as his hand missed the door and nearly fell into the bathtub.

"Hey, Cowboy, you alright?" Larabee asked as he hurried to help his friend before he injured himself in his drunken stupor.

"I'm fine, a little drunk but that's ok. Hey, Chris, you know your head gets all full of funny lines when you try to scowl like that."

"Yeah, well your head will be full of lines when you wake up in the morning."

"You sayin' I'm gonna have a hangover?"

"You always do, Vin. Especially when you're this drunk. Come on I'll help you into bed," the blond told him.

"Gotta use the bafroom firsh, Cowboy," he said as his words grew more slurred.

"Can you handle that yourself?"

"Coursh I can, Larabee, been doin' it for most of my life. Gimme some privicshy will ya?"

Chris laughed as the younger man turned away from him. "Call me if you need me, Vin," he said as he closed the door.

"Ain't no kid. Don't need no help in the bafroom," was Tanner's indignant answer.

"Glad to hear it, Pard," the blond said as he leaned against the door in case he was needed. It wasn't long before the door opened and Vin Tanner stood before him, a sheepish grin on his face.

"I'm pretty drunk," he said and burst into laughter at the look on the blond's face.

"You certainly are, my friend. Let me help you to your room before you fall down."

"Ah, Chris, I don't need a babyshitther," Tanner said but let the older man lead him across the room to the large room they'd fixed up just for his use. Sitting on the edge of the queen size bed he tried to unfasten the buttons on his shirt.

Chris watched his friend fumble with the buttons, his hands to unsteady to hold the tiny silver colored items. He knew he'd end up having to strip the younger man as soon as he passed out.

"Can't sheem ta gethem," Tanner said as he suddenly fell back on the bed, his eyes closing and soft snores escaping from his sleeping form.

"Bout time, Cowboy," the blond laughed as he began removing the clothes from his friend. It wasn't often that Vin got drink but when he did it usually ended with

Larabee helping his friend into bed. Tonight's reason for his friend's drunken stupor weighed heavily on Chris Larabee. He understood full well what it was like to lose a friend and the guilt that went with it. "Sleep well, Cowboy," he said as he pulled the blankets up around his friend and left the room.

Chapter 6

Vin opened his eyes and moaned at the knifing pain in his head. He looked around expecting to find Nathan Jackson hovering over him as he was sure he had another severe concussion.

"Good morning," Tanner looked to the door and hated the smile he saw on the blond's face.

"What happened" he asked, rubbing his painful temples. Suddenly his mind cleared and he remembered their talk from the night before. "I got drunk," he muttered, answering his own question.

"That's putting it mildly, Pard. You got falling down, stumbling over your own words drunk."

"Remind me never to do that again," Tanner begged as he held his pounding head in his hands., forgetting about the cast and groaning as it connected a little to hard against his cheek.

"How many times have I asked you to do the same thing for me?" Larabee asked, a grin on his handsome face.

"Yeah, well you never listen anyway."

"Want some coffee?"

"Got anything stronger?"

"Thought you didn't want to drink anymore?"

"Well I need something to straighten me out."

"Come on, I've got breakfast ready for you."

"I don't think I could eat anything right now," the younger man protested.

"Believe me when I tell you I've been there. The best way to start feeling human again is to eat something."

"Did you cook it?"

"I wouldn't go insulting the man who holds the cure to your hangover in his hands. Lets go, party animal," the blond laughed.

"How come you're so all fired happy this morning?"

"Cause I'm not the one with the hangover," Larabee said seriously.

Chapter 7

Vin was surprised that he did feel better after eating. His headache dulled to a mild throbbing and his queasy stomach settled considerably.

"Shower's free," Larabee said as he walked into the kitchen. His body glistened in the sunlight as water rolled down his chest to pool in the towel wrapped around his slim waist.

"I could have waited till you finished drying off, Cowboy."

"I couldn't. You smell awful," Larabee grinned as he poured himself another coffee.

"Thanks, you're such a good friend," Tanner said.

"That's what friends are for, Tanner," Larabee said and realized what he said when Vin's face took on a far away look. "I'm sorry, Cowboy," he apologized softly.

Vin shook his head and gazed into his friend's green eyes. "It's ok, Chris. I think the talk we had last night cleared things up for me. I think Gary would have liked you if he'd had the chance to meet you. He was a good friend."

"Any friend of yours, Vin," Larabee left the thought unfinished, knowing his closest friend would understand.

"Thanks, Pard," Tanner said as the two men clasped forearms in their unusual handshake.

Chapter 8

"Mr. Woodbury, I'm on the way to pick up the target. My car is downstairs waiting for you. The driver knows where to take you."

"Thank you, Mr. Whelan," Woodbury said as he replaced the phone in its cradle. "I've waited a long time for this, my friend," he swore, his voice seething hatred on the last two words.

"You want a beer, Chris?" Tanner asked as they entered his ranch house. He'd invited the older man for a barbecue, knowing how Chris loved a good steak.

"Sounds good, Vin," Larabee answered as he relaxed in Tanner's favorite chair. Glad to see the younger man had the use of both hands again.

Vin shook his head and walked into the kitchen. A movement to his right caught his attention but he had no time to react as he felt something embed itself in his arm.

He was grabbed before his body hit the floor.

Chris sat in Vin's chair, a smile on his face as he flicked through the channels on the large screen TV. He remembered Vin's face when he walked into the house to find the rather large and expensive birthday gift left for him by the other members of The Firm. The tiny thirteen inch had been relegated to the attic ever since. "Need some help, Vin?" he called when his friend hadn't returned with the beer. "Vin," he called again as the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. He reached for his gun and held it in front of his body. Without a sound he opened the door to a silent, empty kitchen.

He slowly made his way towards the walk in dining room, opening the door slowly. The sight that caught his eyes made his heart skip a beat. Two men, both wearing hooded masks held guns to Vin Tanner's head. The younger man didn't move but his eyes sent a warning to his friend. ‘Get out!'

‘Can't do that, Cowboy!' he shot back.

"Drop your gun, Larabee," a soft deadly voice ordered from his right. He turned to see another hooded man pointing a gun in his direction. "Put it down or my associates will put a bullet through Tanner's head."

‘Don't do it, Chris,' Tanner's eyes shot across the room.

"Sorry, Pard," Chris answered aloud as his gun clattered to the floor.

"Very good, Larabee. Now if you'll kindly kneel down and place your hands behind your back we'll get down to business," the man on his right said.

Chris did as he was told, worried about Vin's unmoving body. He knew he was alive because the expressive blue eyes watched every move he made. ‘Drugged,' he thought worriedly.

Chris felt his arms viciously yanked upwards and bit back a cry as he felt handcuffs secured to his wrists. He was pulled to his feet and pushed into a chair across from Tanner. "Who the hell are you?" he asked as he felt the man behind him place a hand on his right shoulder.

"It doesn't matter who we are, Chris. May I call you Chris?"

"Only my close friends call me Chris," the blond said as he continued to watch Tanner's eyes.

"Oh we will be mighty close over the next six days so I guess that means I can call you Chris," the man beside him said.

"What have you done to him?" Larabee asked.

"Mr. Tanner is suffering from the use of a drug made on the black market. He will remain paralysed for approximately two more hours," the man said. "You see my client wants a little revenge on Mr. Tanner."

"What are you going to do to him?" Larabee asked as he angrily struggled against the man's hold on his shoulder.

"We're not going to do anything to Mr. Tanner at the moment. You see my Client wants his revenge to be slightly different."

"Different? How?" Larabee asked.

"He wants Mr. Tanner to watch his closest friend suffer," the man answered.

Chris watched Vin's eyes fill with rage, "Who is this man?"

"It's too early to tell you that. Actually you'll be meeting him soon. Right now I need to show Mr. Tanner that we mean business," the man said. "I am going to release your hands for a minute. If you try anything my man will put a bullet in your friend. He won't kill him but he will suffer and I'm sure you don't want that," he laughed as he released Larabee's hands from the cuffs.

Chris pulled his hands around to the front and rubbed the circulation back into them. His eyes never left those of his friend and he could tell Vin wanted him to do what he had to do to get away. Chris shook his head imperceptibly.

"Very nice," the man smiled as he watched the silent exchange. "Now please place your left hand on the table, Chris," he ordered. When the blond didn't do so immediately he signaled his men and Chris heard the distinctive sound of a gun cocking. Larabee's left hand found its way to the table. "That's better but if I have to ask a second time again there will be no warning. Now give me your right hand!"

Chris Larabee was not a man easily scared but something about the man standing beside him sent chills down his spine. He lifted his right hand, his eyes never leaving the blue eyes of his friend. His scream rent the air as his wrist was snapped in one smooth move.

‘No! Oh, God, Chris, I'm sorry," Tanner thought. Anger and fear making his eyes turn to ice.

"That's your first warning Mr. Tanner. You'll be receiving tapes at your office. I think it will be imperative for you to watch them as you receive them as they'll reveal exactly what your friend is going through. Chris's whereabouts will also be revealed during one such taping," the man said as he dropped the blond's wrist.

Chris held his broken right wrist in his left hand. He bit his lip as he tried to fight off the incredible waves of nausea that threatened to empty his stomach. His arms were once again pulled behind him and fastened with handcuffs. He was pulled roughly to his feet but his eyes never left the young man sitting stiffly across the table.

A blindfold was placed over his eyes and all contact with Tanner was cut off as he was pulled from the home of his friend.

Chapter 9

Chris tried to keep track of the twists and turns the car made but the pain of his injured wrist pressing up against the back seat of the car made it hard to concentrate.

He had no idea how long they'd been driving but his instincts told him more than an hour had passed. They hadn't made many stops so he figured they had to be driving in the country not in Billings itself.

"How's the wrist feel Chris? Has the pain numbed for you yet?" the soft voice of his tormentor grated on the blond's nerves.

"Go to hell," Larabee hissed.

"You'll soon find out the true definition of hell, Chris. My client is paying me very well to see that Mr. Tanner suffers along with you, although his will be more on the mental side," the man laughed, as he continued on in his conversational tone. "Have you ever watched a close friend being tortured, Chris? It's not something I'd recommend. I'm talking from experience here. Not that I've watched a friend being tortured but I have tortured a friend. I was paid very well for that and the client always comes first."

"You're sick," the blond said softly.

"Don't ever say that again, Chris," the man warned, his tone remained soft but with an added steel behind it and a look in his eyes that hinted at insanity. He shoved

Larabee back into the seat, reawakening the dulled pain in his wrist. "There are a lot of bones in your body that can be broken without killing you, Chris," he stated leaving the threat hanging in the air.

Larabee leaned forward trying to keep his injured hand from any contact with the seat. He felt the motion of the car stop and knew they'd reached their destination.

"We're here, Chris, It's time for you to meet my client," the man said.

Chapter 10

As suddenly as his mobility had left him it returned and Vin gasped as pins and needles swept through his body. He grabbed for the phone sitting across from him and pressed the number for Buck Wilmington. He tried to stand but his legs were still shaky and his head throbbed unmercifully. Over and over he heard the sound of

Chris's wrist being snapped and the scream of pain that escaped his lips. ‘My fault, my fault,' he thought as he waited for Wilmington to answer the phone.

"This better be good," the familiar voice answered tiredly.

"Buck, get the others and get out to my ranch."

"Vin, what's wrong?" Wilmington asked immediately awake and alert to the fear in the younger man's voice.

"Chris is in trouble, Buck, and it's all my fault."

"Vin, what are you talking about? Where's Chris?"

"They took him. He broke his fucking wrist and they took him outta here. I heard him scream, Buck. I heard him scream," Tanner snarled.

"Vin, stay where you are. I'll get the guys and we'll be there in an hour."

"Buck, tell JD to bring his finger print kit," Tanner said, his instincts kicking backing in.

"Will do, Vin. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Buck, it's Chris we have to worry about right now. Hurry, Buck."

"On the way, Vin, just don't do nothing foolish till we get there," Wilmington said as he heard the phone disengage.

Chapter 11

Woodbury watched as the blond haired man was led into the large room. A chair sat in the center, a length of chain attached to the legs, a collar hung loosely from the back, reminding him of the chair used when a man was given the death sentence in the old movies. A large, bright overhead spotlight illuminated the chair and its immediate surroundings. He smiled as he realized he was about to get his revenge against the man he'd once considered his best friend but that had all changed over the months he'd been held prisoner in Beirut. His hatred towards Vin Tanner had grown to the point where it had eaten up the man he'd once been. He wanted

Tanner to pay and pay he would with the torture and eventual death of his friend. He watched as one of Whelan's men set up a video camera to capture the torture on tape.

"Now, Chris, I'm going to remove the cuffs from your wrists. You're not going to try anything foolish are you?" Whelan asked as he smiled in Woodbury's direction.

Chris waited for the handcuffs to be removed and made his move. He turned on the man standing next to him and lashed out with his left hand, only to have it grabbed in a vice like grip. The skin of the man's hands was soft, like that of a baby, but the strength was like steel. A gun cocking next to Chris's right ear made him stop fighting.

"That was not a very smart thing to do, Chris," Whelan said as he bent the left hand back as far as he could without breaking it. "Now I'm going to let your hand go and then I want you to take your clothes off. Oh don't worry I'm not into that kind of torture but some of the things I will be doing require bare skin, just keep your undies on, everything else must go. Now you can remove the clothes yourself and at least keep a modicum of dignity or I can have a couple of my men help you out," he said as he released Larabee's hand. "Which will it be?"

The gun at his head never wavered as he removed the boots, socks, shirt, and black jeans he wore. Whelan smiled as he pushed his victim into the chair, attaching the length of chain to his ankles.

Chris felt hands in his hair as his head was pulled back and something cold was wrapped around his neck. He heard the snap of a lock as the cold steel tightened around his neck, effectively limiting his movement. He felt his tormentor move away from him and wondered briefly why his hands were allowed to remain loose. He hid a smile as he thought of the things he could do if he was permitted this tiny freedom.

"Now, Chris, you don't really think I'm going to leave your hands free, do you? I've read the file my client had on you and I know all about your black belt and your training as a Navy Seal," Whelan explained as he signaled two of his men to come forward.

Chris Larabee felt both his hands grasped tightly and forced palm down on the armrest on both sides of the chair. His right wrist protested this new mistreatment and he clenched his teeth in pain.

Woodbury grinned as he saw what Whelan had in his hands. He recognized the high powered, battery operated nail gun used by contractors.

"This may hurt but it's necessary to keep you from attacking any of my men," Whelan said as he loaded the nail gun. Her reached out and began prodding his victim's right hand until he found the place he wanted between the thumb and finger. Without warning he brought the gun down and deployed a nail into the tender flesh of the blond's hand.

Chris's body arched as far as it could in the limited confines of the chair. The cry that escaped his lips was quickly cut off as he felt the gun placed on his other hand.

"You fucking animal," he screamed as he struggled to get away from the mounting pain in his right hand.

"Swearing does not become you, Chris," Whelan said as he deployed the second nail, once again causing the man's body to arch against the pain.

Chris's world had suddenly become a world of misery. Something he couldn't get away from. He couldn't move his hands and he felt the blood pooling around the embedded nails. The nausea he'd felt when this man had broken his wrist was nothing compared to the white-hot pain he'd felt as the nail was driven into his hand, embedding deeply into the arm of the chair. He fought to remain conscious as the pain radiated up his arms. "You Son of a Bitch," he shouted, his anger helping him manage the pain.

"Don't try to pull your hand, Chris, it'll just make me have to repeat the process. Now I'm going to remove the blindfold and let you see who's company you'll be keeping for the next six days," Whelan explained. "I'd advise you to keep your eyes closed for a few minutes as the light is very bright," he advised as he lifted the blindfold from his victim's eyes.

Chris clenched his eyes against the brightness of the light above him. He waited a few minutes for his head to stop spinning and looked down at his hands. The skin between his thumb and finger was already swollen and red as the blood continued to seep around the nails. He swallowed the bile that came up in his throat as the pain caused his stomach to churn. He tried to pull his left hand from the painful intrusion but a man's hand clamped down on it.

"I warned you not to do that," Whelan told him as he pressed against the puncture wound.

"Don't," the blond hissed as the pressure on the tiny wound caused more pain to radiate outwards.

"You're not in a position to give orders, Chris," Whelan said as he fastened metal clamps over the blond's wrists. "That's just to make sure you don't pull your hand away from the nails. I don't really want to have to do that again. Turn off the video Camera and make the delivery," he ordered and the man closest to the camera did as he was told. "Now, Chris, since I know your name I think it only fair that I introduce myself and my client" he said as he removed his own mask. "My name is

Marcus Whelan and I've been doing this kind of work for more than twenty years. You might say it's been a torturous road but I've certainly refined my trade. Now my client is paying me handsomely to make sure I give you a complete and very painful demonstration of my work," Whelan explained as he knelt before Larabee.

"You're a sadistic bastard," Larabee snarled through gritted teeth.

Whelan laughed as he placed a hand on the blond's knee. "Now, Chris, have you ever looked up that definition in Webster's dictionary. It says a Bastard is an illegitimate child and since I grew up with two very loving parents that definition doesn't fit. Sadistic, yes, Bastard, no. Now shall we continue with the introductions.

Mr. Woodbury, would you please come over here," he said.

Chris watched a man in a wheel chair coming towards him. The first thing he noticed was the scars that covered the man's face and neck area. It looked as if he'd been burned severely. The second thing that drew his attention was the missing right leg, the left leg was also missing just below the knee.

"Would you like to introduce yourself Mr. Woodbury?" Whelan asked, acting as if he was at a polite society formal instead of playing sick games at the whim of another madman.

"My name is Gary Woodbury. I've been planning this for a long time, Larabee, and I'm sorry that you had to be involved. You're the one catalyst that will give me what I want."

Chris listened to the raspy whisper, wondering what happened to the man to make him so bitter. "What do you want?" the blond asked, ignoring the pain in his hands as he tried to find out more about the man in the chair.

"I want Vin Tanner dead but before he dies I want to see the look on his face while he watches his best friend," the last two words were said vehemently, "die because he broke his promise to another friend."

"Who are you?" Larabee asked.

"Has Vin ever talked about his days in Beirut?"

Chris's head snapped up as he thought of the conversation he and Vin shared two nights before. Something told him he was about to find out exactly what happened to Vin's friend.

"I see he has," Woodbury said. "Did he ever mention the name Gary Wilcox?"

"He mentioned the name Gary," the blond said.

"Did he tell you what happened to him?"

"He died in Beirut," Chris answered simply.

Woodbury lashed out and struck the blond openhandedly across the face. "Is that what that animal told you?"

Chris felt the trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth. "Vin's not the animal," he hissed.

Woodbury lashed out again but his hand was stopped and held by Whelan. "Don't let him get to you," he said.

Woodbury's hand dropped in his lap as Whelan released his hold. His cold eyes drilled into Chris's as he began speaking again, "Gary Wilcox didn't die in Beirut.

Oh, he wanted to. He even prayed that he would but it was not to be. Those animals took both my legs and ruined my throat."

Chris immediately picked up on the change in the man. He heard the voice go from talking as if he was speaking of someone else to suddenly putting the emphasis on himself. He knew, without a doubt that the man in the chair was Vin's missing friend.

"I spent six long months in what they called a prison hospital. Some hospital, it was more like a torture chamber. I escaped when fire broke out in the prison but not before I got burned. Some people found me and got me the help I needed. It was another year before I could return to my home. Those six months in the prison were hell and I'm going to make sure that the next six days will be hell for Vin Tanner. You see you're life is the price of a broken promise"

"Vin didn't break his promise to you. He was hurt too," the blond said softly.

"Hurt! You want to talk about hurt. Try having your legs removed while you're awake and aware of what's going on. No, Larabee, Vin Tanner doesn't know the meaning of the word hurt but you will and through you he will. He'll see everything Mr. Whelan does to you and know it's all his fault. Oh this is going to be sweet revenge."

"And you said Vin was an animal. The only animals I know are the four legged kind and the two of you," Chris told them.

Woodbury's eyes grew angry and he wanted nothing more than to strike out at the man before him.

Whelan laughed as he heard the blond's soft voice. "Don't pay any attention to Chris, Mr. Woodbury, he's a little angry with us right now."

Chris closed his eyes as fatigue and pain shook his body. He had no idea how long he'd been here but he suddenly felt as if he hadn't slept in days. He was tired and he relaxed as his mind drifted towards slumber.

"Oh, no you don't, Chris," Whelan said as he held an ammonia vial under the his victim's nose.

Chris inhaled the strong odor and was pulled from the depths of darkness. He glared at the man kneeling before him. "Leave me alone," he said angrily.

"That's not going to happen, Chris. You won't be left alone at all over the next six days. I hope you had lots of sleep over the last few days because it's going to be the last sleep you'll be getting for awhile. I've got a little something special mixed up just for you. I'm afraid one of the side effects is that it keeps you aware of what's happening around you and also keeps you from sleeping. I only have six days to use my expertise on you and I want to utilize every minute of it. You wouldn't be willing to swallow a pill for me would you?" Whelan asked.

"Go to hell!"

"I didn't think so," Whelan sighed as he stepped away from his victim. "Guess we'll just have to do this the hard way."

Chris heard the man doing something behind him but with his neck in the collar it was impossible to turn his head to see what he was up to. He closed his eyes and tried to slip away but was stopped by Whelan's voice in front of him. He opened his eyes and watched as the man placed an IV pole beside him. "What's that for?" he asked, not realising he'd spoken aloud.

"Now, Chris, I know you've had IVs before. That's exactly what this is. A plain and simple IV solution that's given to patients in hospitals everywhere."

"I don't need it."

"Maybe not yet but eventually you will. I've promised Mr Woodbury that I'll keep you alive for six days. I'm afraid you won't be getting anything to eat or drink and therefore you'll need something to keep you from becoming dehydrated. It'll also help if you start going into shock," Whelan explained as he wrapped a piece of rubber tubing above Chris's right elbow. He slowly tapped at the veins on the man's forearm till he found one he liked. He swabbed the area and expertly inserted the tiny needle. Taping the IV line in place he stood up and checked the flow. "Now that should help keep you with us over the coming days and to keep you awake

I've got a little something a friend of mine developed for the prostitute trade in the orient," he said as he slipped the cap off a syringe and placed it at the first IV juncture. "I've been using this little drug for a few years now and some of the side effects are rather unpleasant but it does the job of keeping the victim awake.

Would you like to know the side effects of this little drug? No matter, I'll tell you anyway. Fevers, chills, restlessness, aggressiveness, that's another reason I've clamped your wrists to the chair, don't want you pulling free of those nails and causing more damage than I've already done. Back to the side effects, then again, why don't we leave some of them as a surprise," he laughed.

‘Vin, please don't look for me. There's no point in both of us dying,' he thought as he felt the drug enter his system.

Chapter 12

"Anything, JD?" Tanner asked.

"The only prints belong to us," Dunne answered as he studied the printouts in front of him.

"You sure, JD," Wilmington asked.

"I know what I'm doing, Buck," the younger man snapped.

"Easy, JD, we know you know your job," Sanchez assured him.

Dunne looked at the moustached man, "Sorry, Buck."

"Me too, JD."

The shrill ringing of the security intercom sounded and six men jumped to answer it. Jackson got there first and held the receiver to his ear, "Yeah, he's here, hold on.

Vin, Tom wants to speak to you," he said.

Tanner took the receiver and listened to the man on the end of the line. "I'll be right down," he said as he hung up the phone.

"What is it, Vin?" Sanchez asked.

"There's a man downstairs with a package for me. He's not a regular delivery man and he insists he can only give it to me," Tanner told him as he hurried to the elevator, five men following closely at his heels.

"Where is he, Tom?" Tanner asked, running up to the security room door.

"Right here, Mr. Tanner," the security guard pointed to a nervous looking man.

Vin looked at the young man standing before him. He wore faded blue jeans, a well worn T shirt with the words LIFE SUCKS boldly emblazoned across the front, faded runners with broken laces, and a faded baseball cap. He guessed the man to be around his age as he stepped up to him.

"I...I got a package for V...Vin Tanner," the man mumbled in a trembling voice.

"Where'd you get it?" Tanner asked as he took the plain brown paper wrapped package. He knew immediately what he was holding and his legs threatened to give out on him. "I said where'd you get it?" he snapped when the answer wasn't forthcoming.

"A man came up to me in the park and offered me fifty bucks to deliver this to Vin Tanner," the young man explained.

"Did you see what he looked like?" Standish asked.

"No, he told me not to turn around. Hey, man, fifty bucks is a lot of money for me. I really needed it or I would've told him to do it himself."

"Tom, can you have the police check this guy's story out for us?" Sanchez asked.

"Sure thing, Mr. Sanchez. Sit down," he ordered and the young man angrily slumped into the chair.

"You can't do this. I know my rights," the young man's voice carried to them until the elevator door closed and they were on their way back to their offices.

"Do you know what's on that, Vin?" Wilmington asked as he watched the younger man remove the wrapping to reveal a tape.

"Yeah, Buck, I do," Tanner muttered as he dropped wearily into a chair, closing his eyes against the beginning of a headache.

"Vin," Jackson said.

"The man who took Chris told me I'd be receiving videos and that on one of them he'd reveal where he's holding Chris."

"Well that's great, Vin, put it on and maybe one of us will figure it out," Wilmington suggested.

"You don't understand, Buck, there's more."

"Then please explain it to us, Mr. Tanner," Standish said.

"The man who broke Chris's wrist said we'd see what was being done to Chris on this tape. I...I don't know if..."

"Vin, we don't have a choice. We have to see what's on there," Jackson said.

"I know, Nathan. I just keep hearing Chris's screams," Tanner hissed as he stood up and moved to the TV and VCR.

The silence was complete except for the tiny hum as the tape began to play in the VCR. The TV screen came to life and the first thing they saw was a blindfolded

Chris Larabee being led into a large room by a man wearing a mask. They watched as the man removed the cuffs from the blond's wrists, cheering as their friend struck out, only to have his hand trapped and a gun placed to his head. They heard the man threaten their friend as he bent his wrist. They watched in horror as Chris was ordered to strip and the gun at his head never wavered as he shed his clothes.

The tape continued to play out and they watched as the blond was forced to sit in a chair similar to the ones used in gas chambers. They watched in silence as chains were attached to his ankles and a collar was placed around his neck.

The six men watched with growing horror as Chris Larabee's hands were placed on the arm rests of the chair. With mounting terror they watched as the unknown man silently signaled his men and they forced Larabee's hands palm down on the chair.

"Oh my God," Jackson gasped as he watched the man lift a familiar object from a tiny table.

"He wouldn't! He can't!" Wilmington snarled only to find out the man would and could as a nail was driven into the helpless victim.

Chris Larabee's cry of pain cut through each man's heart. Six pairs of eyes filled with tears as they watched what they knew was only the start of the torture this man intended to inflict on their friend. A tiny smile managed to show on the face of each man as he heard Chris call the man a son of a bitch but was quickly squashed when the man caused more pain by pressing on the puncture wounds in Larabee's hand.

The tape ended and began to rewind as each man fell silent, worry and anguish written across each handsome face.

"I'll kill that sick son of a bitch," Wilmington grated out angrily.

"You'll have to stand in line, Mr. Wilmington," Standish said softly, surprising the others with his comment.

"I think we need to watch it again," Sanchez told them and held up his hands at their protests. "We may have missed something."

"Josiah's right," Jackson affirmed.

The tape stopped and Vin pressed the play button on the remote. No one wanted to watch the tape again but six pairs of eyes were glued to the screen as the tape began to play. This time, instead of the clear image of their friend's torture there was nothing but black screen.

"Must have had some kind of automatic erase built in," Dunne explained as the blank tape continued to play.

"Shit!" Wilmington swore as he realized the little evidence they had was now useless.

"JD, check the tape for prints," Tanner ordered.

"Ok, Vin," Dunne said as he removed the tape from the VCR, handling it only by the edge as he'd seen Vin do.

Vin Tanner walked away from the others and stepped into the office of his best friend. He sat at the older man's desk and placed his elbows on top. Tears filled his eyes as they fell on the framed picture Chris had so meticulously cut from the Gazette two days before. ‘Oh, God, Cowboy, I'm so sorry,' he thought as he picked up the picture and held it to his chest as he walked to the window.

"Vin, you alright?" Sanchez asked as he stepped into the darkened office. He saw the shadowy figure of the young man standing next to the window. Rain rolled down the outside to pool in the tiny overhanging gutters. To Josiah Sanchez the raindrops were a symbol of how they all felt. The tears of God, his mother had called them and now they were being shed for a missing friend.

"Josiah, it's all my fault," Tanner said softly, the picture still held close to his chest.

Sanchez continued into the room, placing a gentle, calloused hand on the younger man's shoulder and turning him away from the depressing sight of the rain. "Vin, it's not your fault."

"How can you say that, Josiah? Whoever is doing this to Chris is doing it because of me. We can't even give the police a good description of that son of a bitch who's doing this to Chris. He's smart, Josiah, he and his men stayed in the shadows. All we can do is give the police a description of their height and weight!" Vin shouted as he picked up the glass he'd been drinking from and threw it across the room.

"Sit down, Vin," Sanchez ordered as he wrapped his arms around the younger man's shoulder and led him to the overstuffed recliner opposite Chris's desk. He felt the trembling in the muscles of the long haired man and wondered how much more he could handle. It was hard on all of them to see what had been done to their friend but Vin had a special rapport with Chris Larabee. The two had proven time and again just how strong the connection was between them. He didn't say a word as Vin handed him the picture he'd been holding so tightly, the glass covering the picture had broken and Sanchez saw blood around the edges of one corner. "Vin, did you cut yourself?" he asked worriedly.

"It's just a scratch, Josiah," Tanner answered as he hid his hand from the older man.

"Let me see, Vin," Sanchez ordered as he reached for the injured hand. "Damn, Vin, that scratch is going to need some stitches. Come on I'll drive you to the hospital."

"I'm not going to the hospital, Josiah," Tanner hissed. "I've gotta find Chris."

"We've all gotta find Chris, Vin, but right now you need to get that looked after so we can do it right. Come on, Son, you won't do Brother Chris any good if you don't look after yourself."

"Alright, Josiah," Tanner agreed as he walked out of the darkened office, using one of the gauze pads Josiah handed him to stop the bleeding in his hand.

Chapter 13

Time had no meaning for him. It became like everything else, superficial compared to the constant pain invading his senses. Whatever drug Whelan gave him heightened his body's senses to the point where he felt everything. He'd tried to pull his hands from the pain caused by the nails but the clamps around his wrist restricted his movements. He could see the bag of IV fluid slowly seeping into his arm, each drop falling into the tiny reservoir. He laughed as he thought of how much he'd love to be lying in a hospital bed instead of sitting in this chair at the hands of a madman. ‘You'd love that one, Vin,' he thought.

"Set up the camera, Davey."

Chris heard the order and glared at the hated man who gave it.

"How are you doing there, Chris, you ready for another demonstration of my work?"

Larabee swallowed around the lump in his throat as the man knelt before him. "Go to hell," he said.

"Oh, Chris, this attitude of yours simply will not do. Have you ever seen those cattle prods ranchers use. They are a thing of beauty. So long and sleek, so much power in my hands," Whelan grinned as he lovingly caressed the two foot long item he'd picked up off the floor. "This one is slightly modified so I can give you as much pain as I wish. Oh, it won't kill you but it will make you feel a little uncomfortable I'm afraid," he said as he tapped the prod on his palm.

"It's all set, Mr. Whelan."

"Thank you, Davey," Whelan said.

Chris watched as his tormentor tore open a package of batteries and slowly, methodically inserted them into the prod. He knew there was nothing he could do to stop what was about to happen but he faced forward directly at the camera mouthing a name over and over. He prayed that Standish, who'd become very adept at reading lips would notice and be able to pick it out.

"Look at me, Chris," Whelan ordered. "I said look at me," Whelan repeated as he placed the end of the cattle prod on Larabee's left knee.

Chris looked up at the man he'd come to hate and waited for what he knew was about to be inflicted. The sudden jolt of electricity running through his body caused him to cry out and clench his teeth as he tried to ride out the agony. His body, unable to move in the confines of the chair, struggled to get away from the new torture heaped on it by the soft-spoken madman.

Whelan smiled as he watched his victim try to escape the excruciating pain he was inflicting on him. The strangled cries coming from the man's throat seemed to ignite the passion the torturer had for his work. The malicious grin on his face as the blond's cries filled the large room gave proof to the words describing him as the best in the business. A man who could do anything to anyone and right now that anyone was Chris Larabee.

Chris felt the prod removed time and again only to be placed on a different part of his body. Each time Whelan depressed the button a jolt of pure agony ran through his body. He was past the point of caring now and just let the screams rise from his throat in a continuous pain filled cry for help. He had no idea when the torture stopped because his body continued to thrash as if the electricity still flowed through him. Tears fell from his eyes and rolled down his cheeks as he closed his eyes and willed it all to stop.

"Chris, you know better that that," Whelan said as he once again placed a needle into the IV feeding into the blond's forearm. "I told you I won't be letting you get any sleep. Would you like to say anything to your friend right now?" he asked.

Chris continued to fight the spasms flowing through his body as he looked at the man kneeling beside him, "I'll kill you," he said simply.

"Such idle threats, Chris. I asked if you had anything to say to your friend. I'm sure Mr. Tanner is worried about you," Whelan said.

"Oh, God, Vin," the blond cried before he could stop the words.

"Turn off the tape," Whelan ordered as soon as the words were out of Larabee's mouth. "I think Mr. Tanner will enjoy that little message. So much pain came through in your voice," he smiled as he placed his hand gently on his victim's cheek.

"I swear if I get outta here I'll kill you with my bare hands," the blond grated out.

"Do you really think that's possible, Chris, I mean your hands look awful sore and painful right now," Whelan laughed as he ran his hands over the blond's swollen thumbs, eliciting a cry of pain from the man. "You see I have total control of your life right now and there's nothing you can do about it.

Chris watched the man as he walked into the shadows. Whelan was taking everything he valued away from him. He knew he'd cried out during the last segment of torture but that didn't hurt him as much as calling out Vin's name. He knew exactly what it would do to Vin when he heard his voice crying out on the video. Hanging his head, knowing there would be no sleep for him with the fiery drug running through his system he let the tears of pain and anger flow freely down his cheeks. ‘It's not your fault, Vin, it's not your fault,' he thought.

Chapter 14

"You going to tell me what happened, Vin?"

Vin Tanner sat on the table watching as Dr. Stacey Midland closed the wound in the palm of his hand. He'd known her since he'd come to work for The Firm. She was always there to help any member of The Firm and she had charts on all of them, his and Chris's being the largest. "I cut it," he said simply.

"I gathered that," Midland laughed. "I want to know what you cut it on. By the way where's your shadow?" she quipped.

"My shadow?" Vin asked, his tired mind not working as fast as it normally would.

"Doesn't Chris usually come in with you. Please tell me he's not in another room waiting for me," she laughed.

"How is he, Dr. Midland?" Sanchez asked as he stepped into the suture room.

"He'll be fine, Josiah. I'm almost finished. I was just asking him about his shadow. Is Chris in here as well?"

"No, Ma'am, he's not here," Sanchez answered as he saw the look of anguish on the patient's face.

Midland's eyes rose as she looked from Sanchez to Tanner. She knew these men, knew how protective they were of each other, and knew something bad had happened to one of her most frequent patients. "What's going on, Josiah?" she asked.

"I can't go into it right now, Doc, all I can say is Chris is missing," Sanchez answered.

"From the looks on both your faces there's more to it than that. I know you can't go into details but should I be expecting a visit from your leader when you find him?"

"Yes," Tanner said softly.

"Damn, I hate when you say it like that, Vin," Midland said. "All done. Just make sure you keep it clean and dry," the doctor ordered as they left the room. ‘Well,

Chris, what kind of trouble have you got yourself into this time?' she thought.

Chapter 15

"Mr. Tanner."

"Yes, Tom," Vin said as he stepped into the security office.

"This guy has another package for you."

Vin's knees threatened to give way as he took the tape from the young man's hands. He knew by the shape and wrapping what it contained and if Buck Wilmington hadn't chosen that moment to step into the office Vin would have collapsed.

"Easy, Vin, you alright?" Wilmington asked as he grabbed the younger man's elbow, his eyes falling on the package he held. "Damn! Let's get the others," he hissed.

"You want me to check this guy out, Mr. Tanner?" Tom asked.

"I don't think it'll do any good but check him out anyway, Tom," Tanner said as slowly walked to the elevator.

~~~~~~~~~

"I set up two VCR's, Vin. This way we can tape it as we watch it. I know the guy who's doing this probably set it up so it can't be taped but it's worth a try," Dunne explained as he finished hooking up the second VCR.

"Thanks, JD," Tanner said as he put the tape in the first VCR. "Set it to auto tape."

"Done."

Vin pressed the button and started the tape. The first thing that caught Vin's attention was the pained look in his friend's eyes, the second was the IV pole standing to the right of the chair, the tubing running into Larabee's right forearm.

No one moved as the man in the shadows began speaking to their friend. They listened as he explained what he was going to do to the blond this time. They watched silently as he placed new batteries in the cattle prod. Their silence ended when the screams of agony ripped from the Chris's throat. They watched as spasm after spasm jerked his body against the restraints that held him in place. They watched as the man placed a needle into the IV, explaining how Chris would not be allowed to rest. As the tape neared the end they heard the man ask Chris if there was anything he had to say. All eyes turned to Vin Tanner as they heard the words that came from the blond's lips. "Oh, God, Vin."

The tape began to rewind.

Jackson was the first to reach the younger man as the color drained from his face. "It's alright, Vin," he soothed.

Tanner shook his head as his friend's pain filled voice played over and over in his mind. ‘Oh, God, Vin. Oh, God, Vin.' He knew he'd hear those words as long as he lived. "It'll never be alright again, Nathan," he whispered.

"Yes it will, Vin. We'll get Chris back and when we do he's gonna need you to be strong for him."

"I put him where he is, Nate. He's there because of me," Tanner said as he threw the remote across the room.

"Did that make you feel better?" Jackson asked.

"No."

"It never does. Shall we see if JD's idea was successful?"

Vin nodded his head and settled back into the chair as JD started the first tape. Once again the screen was black. "Try the other one, JD?" Tanner suggested.

The second tape played, not as clearly as the first one but they were able to watch it.

"Mr. Dunne could you kindly rewind that part?" Standish asked after a minute of the tape had elapsed.

"Sure thing, Ez," Dunne said.

"What is it, Ezra?" Wilmington asked hopefully.

"I'm not sure it's anything, Mr. Wilmington. I just want to check something. Stop, JD, rewind it again and play it forward in slow motion."

All eyes watched the face of the man strapped in the chair. His lips moved imperceptibly and Ezra Standish, who'd become adept at lip reading picked up on the name his leader and friend had been repeating. "You can stop now, Mr. Dunne."

"What did you see, Brother?" Sanchez asked.

"I do believe Mr. Larabee was endeavoring to give us a name," Standish told them.

"What name?" Tanner asked.

"He was repeating the name Gary. Does that mean anything to you?"

Tanner's face paled as he looked at the still face on the TV screen. His mind wondered back to the night at Chris's ranch. The night they'd shared stories of a lost friend. The night before this whole nightmare began.

"Vin, do you know who Gary is?" Wilmington asked anxiously.

"I do," Tanner admitted as he fell heavily back in his chair, five sets of eyes watching him anxiously.

"Would you mind telling the rest of us?" Wilmington asked.

"He's a dead man," Tanner said.

"I'll agree with you there cause if I get my hands on the son of a bitch he will be a dead man," Sanchez snarled, surprising them all with his language, something the ex preacher seldom used.

"No, Josiah, I mean he's already dead. He died in Beirut six years ago."

"Then it can't be the same Gary," Dunne said.

"Chris would never have said the name if it wasn't. Something tells me Gary Wilcox didn't die at all and if he's got Chris then it's all my fault and I'll take care of it,"

Tanner ground out angrily.

"We're a team, Vin, there's no way you're doing this alone," Wilmington assured him.

"Mr. Wilmington is right. We'll find Mr. Larabee together," Standish said.

"Alright we work together," Tanner agreed, ‘at least for now,' he thought. "JD run a check on Gary Wilcox. If he is alive I doubt he's still going by that name so see if you can get a set of prints and call in every favor we're owed. I want to know if this really is Gary Wilcox before we waste too much time searching for him."

"I'm on it, Vin," Dunne said as he opened his laptop.

"Josiah, see if you can enhance the video so we can get a better look at the son of a bitch who's doing this to Chris. I want to know who he is and what his connection is to Gary," Tanner stared at the TV screen, forcing himself to control his anger as he instructed the others on what he wanted done. He knew they'd listen to him without questioning his authority.

"I get the impression that this man enjoys what he does. That makes me think he's a hired professional. I'd like to check with some acquaintances of mine who may be able to help," Standish said.

"Sounds good, Ez," Tanner agreed as he watched his friends start working now that they had something to go on.

Chapter 16

"Turn on the camera, Davey," Whelan said as he replaced the bag of IV fluids over his victim's head.

Chris Larabee was exhausted and in pain. The drug Whelan was feeding him kept his body from the sleep it needed and every waking moment was filled with pain.

He knew with those five words things were about to go from bad to worse and there was nothing he could do about it. He kept his eyes forward as he heard Whelan setting something on the table next to the chair that held him captive.

"It's all set, Mr. Whelan," Davey said.

Whelan knelt in front of the blond, a sadistic smile on his face. "Well, Chris, are you ready for the next round?"

"I'll kill you," the blond hissed, his voice stronger than it had any right to be.

Whelan laughed, loud and long at his victim's empty threat. "I wish I could free you just to see what you'd do to carry out that threat. Alas there is no time. We must get back to the business at hand. Oh, that's funny, business at hand. How are your hands? They look kind of swollen," Whelan said as he kept his back to the camera. "Can you still move your fingers and thumb?" he asked, when there was no answer forthcoming from the blond he grabbed both thumbs and viciously moved them, eliciting an anguished scream from the trapped man. "Guess you've still got some feeling in them. That's gonna make this all the harder on you I'm afraid," he explained as he moved to the side of the chair and into the shadows. "You do realize that this is all Mr. Tanner's fault don't you?" he asked, knowing the drugs he was giving the man would leave him susceptible to suggestions.

"It's n...not Vin's fault. It's yours and Wilcox's fault," the blond said.

"Now that wasn't very smart of you, Chris. We'll just edit that part out of the tape. We'll let Mr. Tanner know where you are and who has you when the time is right. Until then we shall enjoy each other's company," Whelan laughed. "You know you really should think about what I've said. If it weren't for Vin Tanner breaking his promise you wouldn't be here."

"Vin didn't break his promise," Larabee said forcefully.

"Oh but he did and you'll come to realize this when the time is right. For now let's get down to business. Have you ever watched the old TV shows filmed during the war?" he paused waiting for Chris to answer. "You're not very talkative today are you? Do you recognize these?"

Chris looked at the items Whelan held in front of his eyes. He recognized them instantly, having suffered through a similar torture at the hands of his captives in

Vietnam before being rescued by James Curran and his Seal team.

"I see you know what they are. Have you ever been subjected to them?"

"Y...yes," Chris answered before he could stop himself.

"That's too bad. I was kind of hoping to introduce you to the joys of bamboo sticks myself. Oh well I guess I'll just have to make sure I make it more memorable than your other experience. You know the old saying this is going to hurt me more than it does you? Well that doesn't apply in this instance," he said as he grabbed the thumb on his victim's right hand and viciously shoved the thin shoot underneath the nail.

Chris screamed as the bamboo shoot ripped into the already tender, swollen flesh under his nail. Tears came to his eyes as he tried to get his breathing under control.

The intense pain was repeated as Whelan grabbed the next finger, this time slowly inserting the bamboo shoot, maliciously grinning at the pain on Larabee's face. His breathing came in quick gasps and he prayed he'd lose consciousness before he lost all control. He felt another finger lifted and the viciousness of the first attack was repeated.

"Oh, God, please, no more!" he cried as another finger was pierced by the tiny shoots. He closed his eyes and felt darkness spreading over his mind. "Ahh, damn you," he cried as he felt the drug re-enter his system and the pain became his every breath.

"I told you I will not let you sleep. You've still got six more of these little devices to go. Shall we get back to work?"

Chris felt the final finger of his right hand picked up and the torture and pain began anew. He wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and surrender his body to oblivion but that was not to be as Whelan grabbed the thumb on his left hand.

Whelan laughed as the scream emanated from his victim's throat. The tremors that wracked his captive's body as he prolonged the agony of the simple but painful bamboo torture sent shivers of pleasure through his spine. He regretted moving so quickly as he lifted the last finger, caressing the tip of the nail and gently placing the shoot underneath without sliding it home. "Have you had enough?" he asked.

Chris knew Whelan was a sick man and to tell him that he'd had enough would only succeed in feeding the man's sadistic nature. Slowly he lifted his tear stained face and glared at the hated man, "Go fuck yourself!" he said and screamed again as the shoot was driven into the tender flesh.

"I'm not the enemy here, Chris. It's time you started to realize that Vin Tanner is the cause of all your pain. He's the one who's paying me to do this to you," Whelan explained, once again adding suggestions that he knew would feed Larabee's delusions, which would only grow stronger as he continued to be injected with the drug.

"Vin, w...wouldn't do t...that," Chris mumbled but his tortured mind began to wonder.

"How can you be sure, Chris? He's always been jealous of you. He's always wanted to be the leader of The Firm. He's paying me extra to see that you suffer in every way possible. Did you know that he's jealous of the friendship you have with the other members of the group?" Whelan asked.

Chris listened as Whelan talked about Vin Tanner. ‘No,' he thought, ‘Vin couldn't do that to me. We're friends. He's my best friend, my partner, my brother.

Oh God, Vin, please say it's not you doing this.' He cried as tears filled his eyes. Suddenly his head snapped up as his mind fought through the thick layers of fog that enshrouded his mind. His eyes meeting the cold eyes of his tormentor. "Vin Tanner would never do this to me!" he screamed angrily.

Whelan's admiration for the man in the chair grew as he watched the victim fight the effects of the pain and the drug. He made it his personal challenge to break the blond agent before he killed him. All he had to do was convince the man that Vin Tanner was the one who had placed him in this situation. "How can you be sure,

Chris?" he asked again.

"I...I just know," Larabee said, closing his eyes in order to tune out the man before him. He felt his body trembling as needle like pains began in his legs and arms.

"Closing your eyes will not shut me out, Chris. I told you the drug I've been giving you will not allow you to sleep but I forgot to mention that it also causes some painful spasms the longer it's used. I have a feeling you're about to experience one of them now," Whelan grinned as he watched the blond's suffering.

Chris felt the needle like pains grow to encompass his shoulders, hips, and even his buttocks. He tried to bite back the scream of pain and terror that threatened to escape his trembling lips. "Oh, God NO!!!! Please stop it. Vin, why are you doing this to me? Supposed t...to be m...my friend," he cried as more spasms ripped through his body causing fresh blood to well up around the nails embedded in the swollen flesh of his hands.

"He's not your friend, Chris. He never was," Whelan said softly as his victim continued to suffer the effects of the drug.

The blond head moved back and forth as far as it could in the limited confines of the collar wrapped around his neck. Blood began to well up in the tiny cuts caused by his neck coming into contact with the sharp edges of the collar. He cried out as the pain became more than he could bare and prayed for the loss of consciousness he knew wouldn't come. "Help me, Vin," he pleaded as the spasms finally stopped and he tried to control his painful breathing.

"Turn off the camera, Davey," Whelan smiled at the pain filled face before him. "Rest while you can, Chris. I promise our next encounter will not be as easy as this one was," he said.

Chapter 17

"Vin," Jackson said as he walked into Chris Larabee's darkened office. It seemed anytime they needed to find the sharpshooter he'd be sitting at the blond's desk looking over old files and newspaper clippings.

Tanner looked up from the clipping in his hand and showed it to Nathan as the medic flicked on the light.

"You and Gary?" Jackson asked.

"Yeah. This was taken the day before we left for Beirut. Gary was a close friend, Nathan, the closest I ever had till I met Chris," Tanner said softly, an underlying anger showing through his soft words.

"You and Chris have a unique and wonderful connection, Vin. If ever two people were meant to meet it was the two of you," Jackson assured him as he sat on the edge of the paper strewn desk.

"Chris is special, Nathan. He's more like a brother than a friend. He knows me. How can I face him knowing I'm the one who's causing him to suffer like this?"

Tanner asked as he stood and walked across to the darkened window.

"Vin, Chris is going to need you when we find him. He's going to need you to be strong to help him heal from the physical as well as the psychological wounds that sick man is putting him through. Stay strong for his sake, Vin."

"I'm trying, Nate, but it's so hard to hear his screams and watch what that man is doing to him. How much more can he take?"

"Chris is strong." Jackson said softly.

"Strength can only get you through so much," Tanner whispered as he continued to stare out the window at the lights shining from the apartments across the street.

He watched as people behind the windows continued to go on with their lives happily oblivious to one man's tortured existence. ‘Oh, God, Chris, I'm so sorry' he thought wearily.

‘Oh, God, Vin, I'm so sorry,' Chris thought as his tortured mind conjured up pictures of his friend's anguished face the night this man intruded on their lives. He fought against the pull of Whelan's words. Words that continued to fight for dominance in his mind. Words that told him Vin Tanner was the one causing his pain. He kept his eyes closed and tried to picture the good times he'd shared with the man he considered his brother. The man who'd become an integral part of his life since the day they'd met. ‘I won't let him make you out to be the bad guy, Cowboy,' he thought as the familiar needle like pains began in his hands and legs. He groaned as they intensified and once again became his whole body. His eyes opened wide and he noticed Whelan kneeling before him. "You're a s...sick fucking a...animal," he hissed as he struggled to overcome the pain. His stomach churned and he gagged as bile rose in his throat. Without warning a thick stream of the noxious fluid left his mouth to land on the chest of the man who was causing him this pain.

"Looks like you're the one who's sick, Chris. You don't seem to be having a very good reaction to all of this. It's a good thing I'm not paying my own cleaning bills.

Mr Tanner was very generous in that regard."

Chris shook his head negatively, denying the words that had passed Whelan's lips. "Not Vin. No m...matter what y...you say I won't b...believe you," he ground out as the spasm subsided and blood trickled from his mouth.

Whelan reached forward and wiped the blood from the corner of his victim's mouth, wiping it on his own dirtied shirt. "Looks like you bit your lip, Chris. If you wanted more pain all you had to do was ask. You don't have to do this to yourself when I can do it for you," he said as he patted Larabee's bare right leg.

"Go to hell!" Larabee hissed, his dry mouth causing his voice to sound raspy.

"I don't think so, Chris. Now why don't you relax before another one of these comes over you. Just think there's only another four more days of suffering for you then it'll all be over. Mr. Tanner will be here to watch. He's paying me well so that he can be an active participant," Whelan smiled as his words had the desired effect and the victim's face filled with pain.

Chapter 18

Five pairs of eyes watched as Vin Tanner held the all too familiar package in his hand. He knew they needed to watch the tape but he dreaded the thought of what they would see. He knew the tape contained more scenes of his best friend's ongoing torture and he didn't know if he could handle it. He didn't know if he could sit and listen to Chris Larabee's heartfelt screams of pain. He didn't know if he could sit and watch his friend's body tortured by a faceless madman. He didn't know if he could listen as the man tried to tell Chris that he was at fault for all his pain. Unshed tears formed in his eyes and he fought to hold them back.

"Vin, we need to look at the tape," Sanchez said softly.

The younger man swallowed the lump in his throat as he ripped the paper from the tape and passed it to JD. "Play it," he said as he sank bonelessly into the chair and rubbed his tired eyes.

The camera opened on Chris's pale form. His eyes were open but glazed and they could all see the deep routed pain on his face. They could hear the voice of the unknown torturer as he asked Chris if he was ready for the next round and each man heard the blond's softly spoken threat. They listened as the man tried to tell

Chris that Vin was the one who'd hired him to do all this to him. They watched as Chris's face showed how the man's words affected him.

"Oh, God," JD said as he watched the unknown man in the shadows step forward and show Chris the items in his hands.

"That man is the devil incarnate," Standish hissed softly, grimacing as the first screams were drawn from the man he'd grown to respect and care for.

"Son of a bitch," Wilmington swore as the man continued to push the Bamboo shoots under Larabee's fingernails.

"I thought I'd seen every kind of cruelty a man can possibly use on another human being but this is twisted," Sanchez said as they listened to Chris beg the man to stop as he added some kind of drug to the IV line at their friend's forearm. They listened as he forcefully told the man what he could do to his own anatomy and then the screams sounded again as he was subjected to the final bamboo shoot.

They became silent as the man began to tell Chris Larabee that everything happening to him was because of Vin Tanner. They listened as the man told his victim that

Vin was paying for everything. They listened as Chris started to believe the things the man was saying and how he begged for Vin to stop what was happening to him.

All eyes turned to the longhaired young man as his own anguish manifested in the tears that streamed from his eyes as Chris Larabee's final words reached their ears.

"Help me, Vin."

"Vin, are you alright?" Jackson asked worriedly.

"I'll never be alright again, Nathan. Look what I've done to him," Tanner whispered as he struggled to control his emotions.

"You didn't do anything to him, Vin. We know that and so does Chris," Wilmington assured the younger man, his own anger and despair evident in his quivering voice.

"Look, Vin, this is not the time to shoulder blame especially when it's not yours to shoulder. We need to concentrate on finding this Bastard and getting Chris away from him," Sanchez said. "JD, were you able to get any information on Gary Wilcox or the enhanced picture of the mystery man?"

"There was nothing the last time I checked but I'll check the hotline again," Dunne told them as he swiped at the tears running down his own cheeks.

"Anything from your buddies, Ezra?" Sanchez asked.

"There are six men who fit the profile of this sadistic torturer. Three are now permanent residents of penitentiaries in other countries. One has been spotted in Brazil.

The other two seem to have disappeared. My associates are working on finding out there whereabouts," Standish said. "I shall endeavor to find out more while Mr.

Dunne checks his hotline."

"Ok, the rest of us will watch the tape again and see if there was anything we missed," Tanner said shaking off the feelings of inadequacy he felt at being unable to help his best friend.

The tape began again and Vin Tanner fought to keep his anger from clouding his judgement. He concentrated on the tape and looked for details that would help them find Chris Larabee before he succumbed to the evil man who punished both his mind and body.

Chapter 19

"Mr. Whelan, I must say you are living up to your reputation. Mr. Larabee certainly seems to be suffering from your ministrations."

"Thank you, Mr. Woodbury. I was wondering if perhaps we could change a small part of your plans for Mr. Tanner."

"What changes?" Woodbury asked worriedly.

"Tomorrow is day four in the torture process for Mr. Larabee. I've been trying to convince him that Mr. Tanner is the one causing all of this to happen to him."

"I know that," Woodbury smiled as he passed the other man his Bourbon.

"I would like to deliver this next tape to Mr. Tanner so that he views it alone. I know you didn't want him here until the final day but I think you'll find it even more satisfying if Mr. Tanner were forced to watch what is going to happen to Mr. Larabee as it happens instead of on tape. I think it would go a long way to making Mr.

Larabee believe that Mr. Tanner really is behind everything that's happening to him."

Woodbury's eyes glowed with anger as he thought of Vin Tanner. He knew what it would do to him if he were to watch as Chris Larabee was taken from him both physically and mentally. He smiled as he thought of his hated friend and what he'd suffered because of Vin Tanner's broken promise. "I think that's a wonderful idea,

Mr. Whelan, but you must make sure no harm comes to Vin Tanner until Chris Larabee is out of the equation."

"Of course, Mr. Woodbury, that's what I get paid for. The tape will be delivered to Mr. Tanner and I'm sure we'll be receiving a visit from him by tomorrow night."

"How can you be sure he won't involve the others?"

"He won't unless he wants his friend's suffering to be even more painful than it has been. I can assure you that Mr. Tanner will be reunited with his friend tomorrow night."

"Will Mr. Larabee live for the final three days? He does seem to be in a lot of pain."

"Isn't that what you paid for. I assure you that he will be alive on the sixth day and that Mr. Tanner will watch as his friend's life is finally snuffed out."

"Perfect. I'll be there to put the finishing touches on Vin Tanner's sorry existence."

Chapter 20

‘Why, Vin, why are you letting him do this to me? God it hurts,' he thought as the trembling from another spasm subsided leaving him weak, shaken, and wide awake to every painful injury inflicted on his body. He trembled as the pain from his fingers, hands, broken wrist and neck all grew to become one massive agony. He recognized the man named Davey as he replaced the bag of IV fluids over his shoulder. "Please, let me go," he begged weakly as the man checked to make sure it was flowing properly.

"Sorry, buddy, can't do that. You know I'm really glad I'm not you. Mr. Whelan has a lot more planned for you."

"Davey!" Whelan's angry voice made the camera man jump. "That's enough! I told you not to speak with him."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Whelan, I was just answering his question," Davey's voice trembled fearfully.

"You're not paid to answer questions. You're paid to do as I tell you. Now get your things and get out of here," Whelan ordered as he angrily shoved the man away from the blond.

"But..."

"No buts. You're fired and if I see you around here again I'll have you killed," Whelan snapped as he watched the man turn and leave the room. "Kill him," he ordered another man standing in the shadows.

"Yes, Sir," the second man answered and hurried off to do as he was told.

"Jake, you're in charge of the camera. Turn it on." Whelan ordered a third man and turned back to the blond. "Hello, Chris, did you miss me?" he asked as he knelt in front of his victim.

Chris didn't answer as he focused his eyes on a spot just to the right of his tormentor. He watched as the shadows from the lights flickered off the darkened walls.

His mind began to conjure up monsters of all shapes and sizes but none compared to the monster who knelt before him.

"Not feeling very talkative tonight?" Whelan asked. "That's ok you can listen while I talk. I wondered if you would enlighten me on how and why you killed your wife and son."

Chris's eyes shot open and focused on the man in front of him. "Didn't kill them," he said as tears came to his eyes. Tears of sorrow and pain for his lost loved ones.

"Oh, but you did, Chris. Sarah and Adam died at your hands don't you remember?"

Chris Larabee shook his head as far as the collar around his neck would allow. "No! I didn't kill them," his angry voice sounded unsure.

"Are you denying your guilt in this, Chris? The evidence shows that you set the fire that killed Sarah and Adam. Why did you do it? Was it the insurance money? Did you think you could get away with it just because you work for a government agency?"

The tortured man listened to the man before him and the guilt that he'd lived with since Sarah and Adam died began to fester and become real in his troubled mind.

Whelan's words were having the desired effect and Chris Larabee began to believe that he had indeed murdered the two people he'd loved most in the world. The drug conjured up images and he watched as his hands lit the fire that consumed his wife and son. "No!" he screamed as his body trembled with the onset of another spasm and the guilt he felt over his family's deaths.

Whelan smiled as his victim's body and mind went through the anguish and pain of the drug induced hallucinations. He could see the terror on Chris Larabee's face as he stared at his own hands. "You're seeing it now aren't you, Chris? You can see your own hands starting the fire that will consume their bodies. Can't you?"

"Yes," the blond cried. "I did it. I killed them. Oh, God, I killed them. I didn't mean to. Sarah! Adam! I'm so sorry!" he screamed as he watched the fire raging in front of him.

"Are you, Chris? Are you really sorry?" Whelan droned in a monotone voice, smiling at the anguish on his victim's face.

"Sorry, so sorry, please forgive me," the blond cried as the spasms left his body drained. Soft sobs filled the air as he cried over the loss of his wife and son. He knew he was giving Whelan what he wanted but he didn't care anymore. Whelan had confirmed something he'd always denied. "I killed them. I killed them. Oh,

God I killed them," he sobbed.

"Yes, Chris, you did kill them but it was all Vin Tanner's fault. He's the one who made you do it," Whelan said.

Chris shook his head slowly, "Didn't know Vin then. He couldn't have made me do it," he muttered.

"Do you think that really matters? Vin Tanner has known about you for years. He's a jealous, vindictive man and he wanted Sarah for himself," Whelan said.

"No, no, no. Not Vin he's my best friend. He wouldn't do that," his voice was barely above a whisper as he listened to Whelan's constant litany of the things Vin

Tanner had done.

"Yes, Chris, it's time you faced the truth. Vin Tanner is and always has been your worst enemy. He's always wanted what you have. He's even ingratiated himself with your other friends. Why do you think they haven't come to your rescue? They don't care about you anymore because Vin Tanner has told them they don't need a man who murdered his own family in their lives."

"Buck wouldn't believe that. He was there when I married Sarah. He wouldn't believe Vin," the blond cried.

"Oh you're wrong about that. You just admitted to murdering your wife and son so why wouldn't Buck and the others believe Mr. Tanner?"

Chris sat quietly in the chair, his body a mass of pain, his mind a jumble of confused thoughts and memories. He couldn't sort out which memories were real and which were false. He knew Whelan was messing with his mind and he knew whatever drug he was using was heightening his senses to Whelan's almost hypnotic suggestions. ‘Fight it, Larabee, Vin's your best friend. He isn't doing this to you. Keep focused and don't let Whelan get to you,' he thought. ‘Oh, God, Vin, you'd better get here soon. I don't know how much more I can take. I killed Sarah and Adam, Vin, I killed them and if you stay around I'll kill you too, just like I kill everything that means anything to me,' he thought as tears escaped from his tightly closed eyes.

"What are you thinking about, Chris?"

"Vin," the blond answered softly. "He'll help me."

"Will he?" Whelan asked as he injected a small amount of the drug into the IV. ‘You've got to be one of the strongest men I've ever subjected to this drug but that won't continue much longer,' he thought as he watched the blond try to fight the drug as it entered his system.

As soon as the drug was injected Chris was subjected to the worst spasms he'd suffered so far. He screamed as his body contorted against the restraints, fresh blood flowing from the wounds in his hands and around his neck as the force of his struggles slammed him painfully around in the limited confines of the chair.

"Perfect," Whelan said as he watched his victim. "By now Mr. Tanner you'll be wondering why this tape was sent only for your viewing pleasure. Our mutual acquaintance would like to request the pleasure of your company for the final rounds of Mr. Larabee's suffering. I must warn you that you are to come alone or Mr.

Larabee will, shall we say suffer even more for your mistakes. Keep your cell phone turned on and I will contact you with instructions on how to find us. Make sure you come alone, Mr. Tanner. To ensure that you know I'm serious about how much Mr. Larabee's suffering depends on how well you adhere to instructions I have decided a small demonstration is needed. Have you ever seen the movie Misery? I can't remember the nurse's name but I did love how she kept the author from escaping. I think she called it hobbling," Whelan said as he once more pulled the nail gun from the table by the chair. "Well since I don't want to release Mr.

Larabee's legs yet I figure the best bet would be to hobble him in another way," he explained as he checked to make sure the gun was loaded.

Chris watched as the nail gun was placed in front of his face again. He cringed as he remembered the exquisite agony of the nails embedding into the fleshy part of his hand. Somehow he knew this would be just as bad.

"You see a nail placed at just the right spot can cause a lot of pain. I think the knee would be a perfect place for this demonstration," Whelan said as he placed the gun at his victim's bare right knee and quickly depressed the trigger.

The scream that tore from the blond's throat as the nail shattered the kneecap and buried itself deeply in his flesh sent shudders through the man at the camera.

‘Glad that's not me,' Jake thought as he watched the blood slowly well up around the nail in Larabee's knee.

"I think that should be enough of a demonstration, Mr. Tanner. Make sure your cell phone is turned on when I call. Turn off the camera, Jake," Whelan ordered as he placed the nail gun back on the table. "See, Chris, Vin is the cause of all your pain."

"No more," the blond begged as the new pain joined the others. He desperately wanted to lose himself to unconsciousness but he knew the drug would not allow that. It insured that he would feel every agonizing moment of torture this man planned for him. ‘Please just let me die,' he thought as he watched Jake take the video tape out of the camera.

Chapter 21

Vin opened the door to his jeep and picked up the tiny package on the front seat. Unlike the others this one was specifically addressed to him with the words for your eyes only outlined in red marker. He pushed the package across the seat and rapidly drove to his ranch.

Two hours later Vin stood amidst the destruction and chaos of his living room. He'd watched the video of his friend's continuing torture and his anger had finally gotten to him. Anything movable and within reaching distance was quickly lifted and thrown around the room. Blood streamed from the wound on his hand as his activities broke open the stitches Dr. Stacey Midland had so carefully sewn.

He stood by the door, his cell phone glued to his uninjured hand, shaking in anger and frustration at his own helplessness. ‘Chris, I'll get you out of this and I'll kill the sick son of a bitch who's doing this to you,' he vowed.

Vin knew his phone could ring at any time and he'd have to hurry if he wanted to leave a message for the others. He'd listened to Whelan's warnings and knew he was not supposed to involve the other members but he knew Chris needed more help than he could give alone. He needed the help of the rest of The Firm's Elite group if they were going to get Chris out of this alive. ‘If you could only see me now, Chris, you'd never believe that I'm not gonna run off half cocked,' he thought as he wrote a note explaining what was happening and what he planned to do.

Vin opened the small box he'd kept locked in his safe and took out the item inside. The tiny tracking device, shaped like a mole, would be undetectable and would give the team's long range sensors easy readouts of his location. He placed the mole behind his right ear, just under the hairline. He couldn't chance using his phone and informing the others of his plans because whoever had Chris would probably have bugged his phone. He taped the encrypted note to the fridge and waited for his phone to ring.

Chapter 22

"How are you doing, Chris?"

"H...hurts."

"I bet it does but don't worry it'll all be over in a couple of days," Whelan told him. "Vin Tanner will be joining us shortly and you can tell him just what you think of him."

Chris's glazed eyes stared at the man before him. "Vin's m...my b...best friend," he mumbled as he found the strength to fight the effects of the drug.

"Oh, Chris, are we back to that again? Don't you remember me telling you he's the one paying me to do this to you?"

Chris shook his head, drawing fresh blood from the wound around his neck. "I...I don't believe y...you!"

"That's alright because you'll see for yourself soon. I'm sending a car to pick him up now. He requested to be present for the next series of demonstrations."

"Vin's c...coming here?" Larabee asked, his eyes filling with newfound hope.

"Yes. He's coming to watch what I do to you. He may even decide to add a few marks of his own."

"No," the blond cried softly.

"Believe what you will for the truth will be revealed soon. Jake, get the car and go pick up our client and make sure Mr. Tanner is comfortable. After all he's paying me well for my services," Whelan said as he picked up a phone and pressed a single number.

Larabee listened to the one sided conversation. Fear and pain, his constant companion since this ordeal began, intensified as he listened to his tormentor speak with

Vin Tanner. He heard Whelan tell Vin that everything was going as planned and that he'd be very happy with the results so far. ‘No, Vin, it can't be true. You can't be doing this to me,' he thought. "You'll never make me believe Vin Tanner is doing this to me," he grated out through clenched teeth.

"Yes, Mr. Tanner, I'll make sure he gets your message," Whelan grinned as he placed the phone on the table and turned to the man in the chair. "He says you need a little more persuasion," Whelan said as he used his fists to deliver three quick well placed blows to the blond's right side.

Chris cried out as he felt a couple of his ribs give way to the sharp powerful blows Whelan delivered. The pain of broken ribs now added to the ongoing pains in the other areas of his body and his mind gave in to the words Whelan was saying.

"That's Mr. Tanner's personal message to you. He says to enjoy the broken ribs until he gets here," Whelan laughed as he picked up the phone. "Yes, Mr. Tanner, the car will be there for you shortly."

‘Why, Vin? Why are you doing this to me? I thought we were friends, brothers,' Larabee thought as he fought to breath against the pain that now dominated his chest. ‘Oh, God, please make it stop,' he thought as his breath came in shallow painful gasps.

Whelan smiled as he walked away from his victim, making sure he was out of earshot as he spoke into the still activated cell phone. "I trust you heard all that, Mr.

Tanner?" he asked.

"I'll kill you with my bare hands you sick, twisted son of a bitch," Tanner's soft voice was icy as it reached across the connection.

"I'm sure you'd like to try, Mr. Tanner, but for now I have other business with you. I want you to take your jeep and drive ten miles north of your location. There's a rest stop on the right hand side and you'll be met there by one of my associates. Make sure you come alone and unarmed and don't try anything foolish or Mr.

Larabee will pay for your mistakes. You have half an hour."

"I'll be there," Tanner said as the connection was terminated. He grabbed his keys and hurried out the door. Shoving the keys into the ignition of his jeep he turned the jeep and sped down the driveway and onto the highway. ‘I'm coming, Cowboy, just hang on for me,' he thought as the blond's screams played over and over in his mind.

Chapter 23

"Mr. Tanner will soon be here, Chris. I'm sure he's looking forward to your continued suffering as much as I am," Whelan said as he once more knelt in front of his victim.

"Vin'll help me," Larabee's voice was muffled with both pain and dehydration.

"You don't really believe that do you, Chris?"

"I don't k...know what to believe anymore," the blond answered sadly.

"Do you trust me, Chris? Have I lied to you at any time about what I was going to do to you?"

"No. D...don't trust y...you. Hurt m...me."

"But I told you I was going to hurt you. I didn't lie to you and tell you I was your friend like Mr. Tanner did," Whelan smiled as the lines of confusion once more showed on his captive's face. "He's lied to you from the very beginning, Chris. Telling you he was your friend all the while he was waiting to take your loved ones away from you."

Chris shook his head as he listened to the man tell him about Vin Tanner's betrayal of their friendship. He didn't want to believe Whelan but his mind was a jumble of mental as well as physical pain and he was beginning to wonder why his friends didn't come to rescue him. "I can't. I don't know what to b...believe anymore," he said, not realizing he was speaking his thoughts aloud. "I need you, Vin, I need you to help me," he sobbed as his tortured mind and body began to surrender to the pull of death.

"I do believe I hear Mr. Tanner now," Whelan said as he heard a car pull up outside the abandoned warehouse.

Chris let the tears fall from his eyes at the thought of seeing his friend, "Vin's h...here?" he asked weakly.

"Mr. Tanner is here and he'll be so glad to see what I've done to you. Would you like to beg for your life?"

"I...it wouldn't d...do any g...good. I'm dead a...anyway," the blond sobbed, closing his eyes as a spasm made his body arch against the restraints.

"Not yet you're not, Chris. You still have two more days to get through and I'm afraid the next demonstrations are going to be a little more painful than the previous ones. Mr. Tanner is paying me a lot of money to see that you suffer and I guarantee my services. I'll be back in a minute," Whelan said as he left the blond to his pain, turning out the spotlight as he went.

‘Oh, God, please make it stop,' Larabee thought as his body convulsed in the chair. He could feel the blood as it seeped from under the collar around his neck and wondered if he'd be able to end his own life if he used the edge to slice into his jugular. He was desperate for the agony to stop. Desperate for anything that would put an end to his torment. He cried out in relief as the spasms stopped and he could draw shallow breaths into his tortured lungs.

"Welcome to hell, Mr. Tanner," Whelan laughed as he led the younger man into the warehouse. Vin's wrists had been pulled behind his back and handcuffs were tightly holding them in place.

"Where's Chris?" Tanner asked angrily.

"He's here," Whelan answered, hiding the fear he felt at the icy blue eyes and venomous tone of the long haired man standing before him. "Although he's not doing very well at the moment, I'm afraid," he laughed.

"You'd better be afraid! Afraid of me and what I'm going to do to you' you sick son of a bitch," Tanner snarled.

"Idle threats, Mr. Tanner," Whelan grinned, eyebrows rising in amusement.

"If you know me as well as you think you do then you'll know I don't make idle threats," Tanner boasted.

"Would you like to see your friend?"

"What the hell do you think?"

"Such language, Mr. Tanner. Please follow me and don't do anything stupid or your friend will pay for it. Do I make myself clear?"

"Perfectly," Tanner hissed as he followed the man into a large darkened room.

"Your friend is right over there," Whelan said as he stopped in front of a table.

"Where?" Tanner asked squinting into the darkness.

"Right over there," Whelan repeated and watched the newcomer's reaction as he turned on the bright overhead spotlight. He smiled at the horrified gasp that escaped from the young man's throat.

The tapes had done nothing to show the damage and pain inflicted on The Firm's leader. Vin could see the blood running down over the naked upper torso. Blood that pooled around a collar wrapped around his neck and dripped slowly onto the bare chest. His hands and fingers were swollen around the nails and bamboo shoots embedded in and under his fingernails as well as the nail in his right knee. Bruises stood out on the right side of Larabee's chest, and face. His torso, arms, and legs were covered in small circular burn marks and Vin relived the sight of the cattle prod being used on the blond. "Chris," he screamed as he struggled to get away from Whelan's vice like grip on his arm."

Chris's body trembled as the last of the spasm left him weak and chilled. He'd been startled as the bright spotlight was once again turned on causing him to close his eyes against the pain it caused. A sudden cry of alarm sent shivers down his spine. "V...Vin, is that you?" he asked as tears threatened to fall from his eyes.

"Let me go to him," Tanner pleaded.

"In a minute, Mr. Tanner. There are some ground rules first."

"Ground rules?" Tanner asked as his heart beat madly in his chest.

"That's right, ground rules. If I bring you over to him you are not to speak to or touch him or he will suffer the consequences. Do I make myself clear?"

"I don't understand. Why can't I talk to him?" Tanner asked, afraid he already knew the answer.

"I can't have you undoing everything I've worked so hard to do," Whelan said. "Now keep your mouth shut or I will once again use this on him," Whelan said and showed Vin the fully charged cattle prod.

"Alright," Tanner hissed, soft anger filled voice.

"V...Vin, get out of h...here," Larabee cried as he watched the two men walking towards him. His heart ached at the thought of his best friend going through the things he'd been forced to endure and he wondered briefly if Vin Tanner was here by choice or as another victim. His mind couldn't form coherent thoughts anymore and he suddenly wondered why his friend wasn't speaking to him. "Vin, please talk to me. I...I need y...you," he cried tiredly.

"Not a word, Mr. Tanner," Whelan warned as he pressed a button on the cattle prod. Tanner nodded that he understood the threat

Chris Larabee watched as his friend looked at the cattle prod and nodded his head. "Oh, God, Vin no. D...don't let him do it," he screamed, the sound coming out as a weak cry through cracked lips.

‘Perfect,' Whelan thought as he got the reaction he needed from both men. He signaled to Jake who came forward, pulled the younger man out of the spotlight and slapped tape tightly over his protesting mouth.

"You saw that didn't you, Chris? I told you Vin Tanner was behind all your pain and he just told me to use this on you again," Whelan said as he moved closer to the chair.

Vin watched as his friend's face twisted in an agony of pain and despair. His own guilt threatened to overwhelm him as he heard Whelan tell Chris that he was behind everything and Chris's face showed that final look of belief. Belief that Vin Tanner had indeed told this man to torture him once more. ‘Don't believe him, Chris, please don't believe him,' he pleaded. The weak cries that reached his ears from his friend's throat were pitiful and lacked strength. ‘You guys better find us fast,'

Tanner thought as he watched Whelan inject something into the IV line in his friend's forearm.

"So you see, Chris, in two days Mr. Tanner will end your life himself. Until then you're mine and I will continue to administer your punishment. You do agree that you should be punished for murdering your wife and son, don't you?"

‘No, Chris don't listen to him,' Tanner's muffled cries were cut off by the tape covering his mouth. His eyes bore daggers into Whelan as the man told Chris that he was guilty of murder.

"I killed them. D...deserve to be p...punished," Larabee sobbed as he tried to control his breathing.

‘You didn't do it, Chris, he's just fucking with your mind,' Tanner thought as he tried to make his thoughts flow through the unseen connection he usually had with

Chris Larabee.

"That's right you deserve to be punished and Vin and I will see that you are," Whelan turned his eyes on the bound man in the shadows. He could feel the hatred oozing off the younger man and for once was glad he'd decided to have him bound before bringing him into the warehouse. There was something unique and terrifying about this man and he couldn't quite put his hands on what it was.

‘I swear you'll pay for every mark you've put on him,' Tanner thought as Whelan walked towards him.

"Bring him into the office," Whelan told Jake.

Tanner was pulled to his feet and shoved towards a well lit office. He kept turning his head and looking towards the blond as weak moans continued to escape from the tortured throat.

"Sit down, Mr. Tanner," Whelan ordered as Jake shoved the younger man into a vacant chair. Whelan reached across the narrow desk and pulled the tape from

Vin's mouth.

"I'll kill you," Tanner swore softly.

"My client is paying me very well to see that you are the one who dies," Whelan explained as he poured himself a drink.

"Then why didn't he just have you kill me? Why did he have you do all this to Chris?" Tanner asked angrily.

"My client says that Chris is the price of your broken promise," Whelan answered.

Vin stared into the man's eyes, "I never broke my promise to Gary Wilcox," Tanner smiled as the man's eyes gave truth to his words.

"My client's name is Woodbury not Wilcox," Whelan told him.

"Woodbury was Gary's mother's maiden name," Tanner said angrily. "Where is he?"

Whelan knew there was no reason to deny it anymore and smiled. "He'll be here in time to see your face when I finally take the life of your friend."

"That means he'll be here when I kill you with my bare hands," Tanner said coldly.

"I think you overestimate your abilities, Mr. Tanner," Whelan's voice held a hint of fear as he looked into the icy blue orbs.

"Wrong, you're underestimating my abilities," the younger man said smoothly.

"I believe it's time for another demonstration," Whelan hissed as he replaced the tape over Vin's mouth.

The sharpshooter shook his head as he realized Chris was about to be subjected to more of this man's twisted tortures. He struggled against Jake as the other man pulled him from the chair and dragged him into the outer room.

"Mr. Tanner thinks you haven't been punished enough, Chris," Whelan said as he knelt in front of the blond, placing his hand on the uninjured left knee. "He seems to think that you need a reminder of what pain really is." Whelan glanced from the terrified man in the chair to the angry man kneeling in the shadows. "I think this should satisfy Mr. Tanner's need to see you punished," Whelan smiled as he picked up a shiny silver scalpel.

The dazed blond gazed at the object as the light reflected off the blade and into his tired eyes. He shook his head as Whelan slowly, methodically slid the blade along his right thigh, continuing downwards and slicing deep into the flesh of his calf. He trembled at the exquisite agony the blade caused, his eyes watering as he watched the man raise the blood stained scalpel and place it at his left arm. He watched, hypnotized as the blade sank just below the skin, blood welling up to flow freely down the arm and pool in the manacles holding his wrists.

Whelan moved from the left arm to the abdomen, just to the right of the navel area. Slowly he sank the razor sharp blade into the fleshy area, slicing downward at the same depth for five inches, smiling as his victim's face screwed up in agony.

Vin struggled against the man holding him on the floor, his heart aching as he watched Whelan slowly slice into various parts of his friend's body, crying as he heard the tiny whimpering sounds that emanated from the blond's throat as his torturer sliced into his abdomen. ‘Please stop,' he thought as Whelan used his thumb and forefinger to wipe the blood off the blade. ‘Oh, Cowboy, I'm so sorry. I'll get you out of this and kill the bastards if it's the last thing I do,' he vowed.

"I think that's enough for now, don't you, Chris?" Whelan asked as he placed the blood covered Scalpel in his pocket. He smiled as the blood soaked blond head slowly nodded. "What's wrong, Chris? Don't you want to be punished for killing Sarah and Adam?"

"Punished. Yes, I...I killed them," the blond mumbled weakly.

"That's right you did and that's why Mr. Tanner wants you to die slowly," Whelan said hypnotically.

Chris shook his head as far as he could, "Not Vin, h...he's my friend," he sobbed.

‘That's right, Chris, it's not me. I swear I'll get you out of this,' Tanner thought.

"You saw him yourself, Chris. If he was your friend why isn't he helping you?"

"Vin, please h...help me. C...can't do t...this anymore," Larabee sobbed.

"Sure you can, Chris. I'll stop you from bleeding so much and you'll be just fine until Mr. Tanner's ready for you to die," Whelan assured him as he put pressure on the three new wounds he'd inflicted on his victim.

"Vin," Larabee cried as tears of sorrow and pain rolled freely down his cheeks. "Oh, God, I can't take this anymore," he screamed as a new spasm ripped through his damaged body.

Chapter 24

"Vin, where the hell are you?" Wilmington yelled as he finally got the door to his friend's house open. He rushed inside followed immediately by the other five members of the team.

"Oh my God," Jackson's startled voice cried.

"It appears that Mr. Tanner is in need of a new interior decorator," Standish observed as he surveyed the damage done to the house.

"We'd better see if Brother Vin is still here," Sanchez said. "Buck, JD, you two take the living room. Nathan you take the master bedroom, Ezra you take the guest rooms. I'll search the kitchen."

Without a word each man moved to search the area he'd been assigned. Jackson and Standish found nothing in the bedrooms and hurried back to the living room where they found Wilmington and Dunne with nothing to report as well. They all looked up as Sanchez joined them, a piece of paper and a small box in his hands.

"What did you find, Josiah?" Wilmington asked hopefully.

"It seems Brother Vin has gone in search of Brother Chris," Sanchez told them.

"Of all the stupid, idiotic, Lone Ranger moves," Wilmington fumed as he picked up a small vase and threw it across the room.

Sanchez watched the vase sail shatter against the wall. "He hasn't gone Lone Ranger," he said.

"He hasn't? Dunne asked.

"He hasn't," Sanchez confirmed. "You guys remember that little tracking device Orrin purchased?"

"What about it?" Jackson asked.

"Vin has it on him," Sanchez explained as he took out the tiny tracking device and turned it on. Immediately there was a soft beeping signal and five men breathed a sigh of relief. "We'll take my van," Sanchez told them as they hurried from the house.

"You're the best at reading these things, Brother Ezra," Sanchez passed the device to the younger man. "Let's go," he told the others as he slid into the driver's seat.

Daylight was just beginning to overtake the dark skies as a light of hope began to overtake the darkness that had resided in the five men.

Chapter 25

"So, Mr. Tanner, what do you think of my methods?" Whelan asked as he knelt in front of the bound and gagged man. He pulled the tape away from the young man's mouth.

"You're one of the sickest bastards I've ever seen and I'll make sure you never hurt anyone again."

"How do you propose to do that?"

"I'll find a way if it's the last thing I ever do," Tanner hissed vehemently.

"You still think you'll have that chance, Mr. Tanner?"

"Yes," the younger man answered confidently.

"Don't bet on it," Whelan refastened the tape. "I'm going to get some breakfast before the next demonstration," he explained as he walked away.

Vin listened to the soft breathing of the man strapped to the chair. He felt the pain emanating from his friend's tortured body and mind. The overhead spotlight illuminated the chair and the devastation heaped on the blond's body. Patches of blood made Larabee's skin appear paler than he'd thought possible and Vin knew he didn't have much time. His friend's life depended on whether the other Firm members were able to find them. He struggled against the ropes that bound his hands, trying to ignore the small whimpering sounds coming from the lighted area. ‘Stay with me, Cowboy, Buck and the boys will be here soon and we'll get you to Dr.

Midland. She'll be able to help you,' he thought.

"Why, Vin?" Tanner's head shot up at the softly spoken words. He knew his friend couldn't see him but he wondered if he could actually feel him.

‘It's not me, Chris,' he thought, his mind full of the emotional pain he felt at being the reason for his friend's condition.

"So tired," Larabee's weak voice sent a chill through Vin Tanner. He felt as if he was watching Chris Larabee's life wind down before his eyes.

‘Hold on a little longer, Chris,' he thought as he continued to struggle against the bonds.

"I k...killed em," the softly spoken words barely reached Vin Tanner's ears. He knew Larabee was referring to his wife and son.

‘Oh, God, Chris, you didn't do it. You've got to remember,' he begged as he felt his hand slipping out of the ropes.

"Killed em. Gotta b...be p...punished for it," the blond's delirious voice drifted across the darkness and made Vin Tanner shudder uncontrollably.

‘No, Chris, no more punishment,' the younger man thought as his hands slipped free. He pulled them around front and rubbed at his wrist, removing the rope as he did.

"V...Vin's right. Gotta b...be punished."

The words struck like a knife into the heart of the younger man. His eyes misted with tears and he quickly removed the rope from his feet and the tape that covered his mouth.

He wanted nothing more than to go to his friend but he couldn't chance Whelan coming back and discovering he'd gotten loose. He looked around for a weapon, his eyes falling on the nail gun beside his friend. He picked it up and walked towards the office. He could see Whelan seated inside, a glass of amber liquid in front of him, the phone held to his ear.

Vin knew there had to be more men around and he wondered where they were. He glanced around the darkened area of the warehouse but was unable to see anyone else. ‘I warned you not to underestimate my abilities,' he thought as his hand reached out and touched the door knob. He tried to ignore the continuing voice of Chris Larabee as he begged them not to punish him anymore. Unshed tears shone in his eyes as he heard the pain filled words.

"Mr. Tanner has to be inside," Standish assured the others as they stopped in front of a run down building on the outskirts of Billings.

"You sure, Ez?" Wilmington asked from the back seat.

"If Mr. Tanner is still wearing the mole then we are sure to discover him inside this rejected development," Standish told them.

"Buck, call the police and get them out here," Sanchez ordered.

"On it," Wilmington said as he placed a call to the Billings police department.

Five minutes later, secure in the fact that the police were on their way, five men entered the warehouse hoping to find the two missing members of The Firm.

Chapter 26

"Hold it right there."

Tanner pulled his hand away from the door handle and turned to face the man who'd spoken. His face stared down the barrel of a semi automatic pistol.

"Nice work, Jake," Whelan smiled as he opened his door. "You didn't think I'd be stupid enough to leave you alone did you? Now give me the gun, Mr. Tanner, before I have Jake shoot your friend," he ordered.

Vin held his finger on the nail gun's trigger, knowing Chris would suffer no matter what he did. His instincts took over and he turned the nail gun on the man called

Jake. The nail caught the man on his hand and he cried out in pain dropping the gun.

Jake shot out with his uninjured hand and connected solidly with Tanner's right cheek. The force of the blow would have stunned a normal man but Vin Tanner was anything but normal as he watched Whelan make his way towards the man in the spotlight. "Get away from him you Bastard," he screamed as he struck Jake in the chin with the nail gun.

"Put it down or I'll make him pay," Whelan ordered as he picked up the cattle prod and placed it on Larabee's chest.

"No," Tanner yelled as two more men joined them, guns aimed at his chest.

"What will it be, Mr. Tanner?" Whelan asked as the door on his right burst open and five men hurried in.

Vin didn't look at the men as they entered, he threw himself at Whelan knocking him away from the captive in the chair. Both men stumbled under the force and fell to the floor. ‘Helps here, Cowboy,' he thought.

Gunfire sounded all around as the five Firm members took down the two men firing in their direction.

"Oh my God, Chris!" Jackson cried as he hurried towards the figure in the center of the spotlight.

"Dear Lord in heaven," Sanchez prayed as he caught sight of the figure in the chair.

"I k...killed Sarah and Adam. D...deserve to b...be punished."

"No, Chris, you didn't kill them," Jackson struggled to control the anger forcing its way to the surface.

"K...killed em. Oh, God, I k...killed em," the weak voice sobbed.

Buck was torn between going to his oldest friend or helping Vin Tanner. he knew Chris was in the best possible hands and turned to the struggling men on the floor as Sanchez, Standish and Dunne checked the three men by the office.

He smiled as the younger man picked up the man he was fighting with and threw a devastating blow to the man's face. "Need any help, Vin?" he asked.

Tanner let loose a kick that sent Whelan flying across the room. "No! I got this Son of a bitch. Go look after Chris," he shouted as he hurried towards Whelan. He slammed a fist into Whelan's stomach and watched as the breath hissed from his throat. "I'm gonna kill you," Tanner promised as he continued to pummel the man.

Buck kept an eye on the fight as he made his way to the chair. "How is he, Nathan?" he asked fearfully.

"B...Buck?" the pain filled green eyes fell on the ladies man causing Wilmington to gasp.

"Oh, Stud," was all he could manage as a lump formed in his throat, threatening to cut off his air.

"I k...killed em, Buck, I k...killed Sarah and Adam. V...Vin knows, Buck, he's punishing m...me," Larabee's voice came out painful and raspy as he struggled against the agony that was his body.

"Vin's not punishing you, Chris," Buck said as he watched Whelan land a couple of swift blows to Tanner's midsection.

"P...punishing me for killing them," the blond insisted.

"You didn't kill Sarah and Adam, Chris," Wilmington insisted as tears continued to fall from his eyes. "Make that son of a bitch pay, Tanner!" he screamed as he watched his friend's suffering.

"Josiah, get on the phone and call for a medivac," Jackson ordered as he continued his cursory exam of the blond. "Ezra, JD, see if you can find the keys to get these damned things off."

"Right away Nathan," Standish said as he pulled out his cell phone. "Medivac is on the way," he assured the medic as he watched the ongoing battle taking place in the shadows. He watched as Vin swept his feet behind the other man knocking him to the ground again. Bright lights illuminated the room as JD found a switch and flicked it on.

Vin blinked against the blinding glare but quickly recovered. He swung his fist at Whelan, cutting into the skin, causing fresh blood to run down his cheek and mingle with the blood seeping from his split lip. "You're gonna die for what you did to him," Tanner snarled as he swung out with his fist again. He could feel the blood from the wound in his hand as it soaked through the bandages. ‘Guess Doc will just have to stitch it up again' he thought as he felt Whelan's blow connect with his injured ribs. He thought a couple might be broken but he couldn't let it stop him.

Whelan had no doubt that this man could and would kill him. He felt his arms growing numb as he continued to try and stay alive. He struck out with his fist, catching the younger man above the left eye, opening a new cut and smiling as he watched the blood flow freely into his nemesis's eyes. "You're not as tough as you think,

Mr. Tanner," he mumbled through swollen lips.

"I'm only just starting," Tanner struck the man in the nose, breaking the bone and causing more blood to mar the battered face.

Whelan became desperate and looked around for something he could use to kill the younger man. He reached into his pocket cutting his hand on the sharp instrument he'd placed there earlier. He grinned as Tanner advanced on him. As soon as the younger man was close enough he whipped out the scalpel and swung it towards the his chest.

Tanner saw the shiny silver object and tried to get out of the way as it arched towards him. He suppressed a cry of pain as the blade was buried deep in his left shoulder.

Whelan laughed at the sight of the scalpel sticking out of the younger man but his newly found confidence disappeared as Tanner reached up and pulled it out flinging it across the floor.

Vin Tanner was in killer mode. His instincts were that of a cornered animal, enraged, beyond sound and pain. He moved with grace ignoring his protesting body as he leapt at the man cowering before him. He drop kicked the man in the chest and landed on his own two feet.

Whelan listened to the snarling animal above him and knew he was a dead man. He pleaded with the emotionless face, hoping to save his own life. "Please, don't kill me," he begged.

Vin didn't hear the words. His mind set on what he wanted to do. He kicked the downed man in the ribs, gratified when he felt the ribs break under his assault. He reached down and picked Whelan up with his left arm, ignoring the pain radiating outwards from the wound and his own damaged ribs. "I heard Chris beg you to stop. I heard him cry in pain. Pain caused by your sadistic mind. Did it affect you when he begged you to stop? Did it?" Tanner screamed as he continued to rain blows on the battered face of the man he hated above all others.

"Please," Whelan's voice came out as a strangle wheeze, spitting blood and broken teeth from his mouth.

"Please what?" Tanner asked as he struck out once again, this time dropping the man to the floor.

"Please don't k...kill me," Whelan begged.

"He's not worth it, Brother," Sanchez said as he reached out a steadying hand to the younger man.

Tanner took one last look at the man lying on the floor. Shaking his head he turned away and walked towards the man he needed to see most in the world.

Sanchez pulled Whelan roughly to his feet and dragged him to where they could watch him but making sure he could not reach Chris Larabee.

"Chris," Tanner moaned as he knelt in front of his injured friend.

"P...please, no m...more, Vin," the blond begged as he stared into the blue eyes of his best friend.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, Cowboy," Tanner reached out and touched the pale face of his friend. "We have to get him out of this," he hissed as he glanced at his friend's swollen hands.

"D...don't punish m...me no m...more, Vin," Larabee cried as Tanner touched his cheek.

"No one's gonna punish you, Chris," the younger man said and cried out as his friend's body was wracked by a spasm. "Damn you, Whelan," Tanner swore, once again wanting to tear the man apart.

"Found them, Nathan," Standish said as he hurried back to the chair. His eyes misting as he caught the first real sight of the injured man strapped in the chair. He turned away as Sanchez took the keys, his eyes coming to rest on the bruised and bleeding body of Vin Tanner. "Are you alright, Mr. Tanner?" he asked.

"I don't know, Ez," Tanner whispered but he wasn't talking about his physical wounds.

"Let me take a look at that shoulder, Vin," Wilmington said.

"It's fine, Buck."

"Vin, it's not fine. It's bleeding pretty heavily."

"It'll keep. Where's JD?" Tanner asked.

"He went outside to flag down the police and the medivac," Standish answered.

Sanchez flew through the keys on the ring until he found one that slipped easily into the neck collar, "Somebody should hold his head," he suggested. Standish reached out and gently held the blond's head, allowing Sanchez to remove the blood stained collar.

"Keep him steady, Ezra," Jackson ordered as Sanchez moved to the front of the chair. "Do his ankles first," he ordered.

Sanchez removed the manacles holding Larabee's legs to the chair, ignoring the whimpers of pain coming from the injured man.

"What about the IV, Nathan?" Tanner asked.

"I didn't know what was in it, Vin, so I unhooked it right away," Jackson answered, his voice low and soft as he continued to try to control his own growing rage.

"How do we remove these?" Sanchez asked, indicating the nails embedded in the swollen flesh of their leader's hands.

"I've been thinking on that, Josiah, it's best if we just leave them as they are. The paramedics will have a tool to cut the arms off the chair and they'll remove them at the hospital," Jackson answered.

Sanchez nodded as he removed the manacles from Larabee's wrists.

"The police and the medivac have arrived," Dunne called as he came running into the room.

"Thank God," Jackson said. "Did you hear that, Chris, helps on the way."

"H...hurts so m...much, Nate," the blond answered soft and low.

"I know it does, Chris but we'll have you out of here soon."

"C...can't do that, Nathan. V...Vin says I g...gotta be p...punished."

"Easy, Brother," Sanchez soothed as he watched the rage growing on Tanner's face.

Vin knelt in front of his friend, trying to ignore the weakening cries that escaped his friend's dry lips. "Chris, you didn't do anything to be punished for," he spoke softly, not wanting to startle the tortured man.

"Y...yes I d...did. I k...killed them, Vin. Y...you w...were right to d...do this to me."

Tanner's heart pounded painfully in his chest as he listen to the injured man's words. Each syllable sealing his fate with it's devastating impact. "No, Chris, listen to me. Everything's going to be alright now. No one's gonna hurt you anymore," he vowed.

"A...already hurt m...me. Gonna d...die and go to h...hell c...cause a what I d...did," tears welled up in his eyes as he thought of never being with his loved ones again.

"Wilmington, you in here?"

"Back here, Bob," Wilmington shouted as Robert Miller, Captain of the Billings police department entered the room. He knew the members of The Firm and had a great deal of respect for the work they did.

Miller and six other officers filed into the room, all eyes coming to rest on the scene in front of them. "What the hell happened to him?" Miller asked as he advanced towards the group.

"That son of a bitch did," Wilmington answered. "Get that piece of garbage out of here before I kill him."

Miller nodded his head and two officers moved forward, roughly pulling the man to his feet.

Whelan pretended to be unconscious as the two young men pulled him up. As soon as his hand was in striking distance he reached out and pulled the gun from the officer on his left shoving the second officer away from him. He turned the gun on the man he'd tortured over the last four days. "Vin wants you dead, Chris," he shouted but was unable to fulfil his wishes as Wilmington shot him between the eyes.

"V...Vin w...wants me d...dead. Oh, God, w...why, Vin?" Larabee cried as another spasm rocked his body.

"Where are the paramedics?" Tanner shouted as he watched his friend's face contort in pain.

"I told them to wait for the all clear sign," Miller said and ordered one of the other officers to escort them inside. "This is gonna go on your records," Miller hissed as he turned to the two officers who'd let Whelan take them by surprise. "What did he mean when he said Vin wants me dead?" he asked Tanner.

"Whelan," Sanchez indicated the dead man, "has been telling Chris that Vin's the one doing this to him."

"Why?" Miller asked.

"He was hired by someone looking for revenge on Vin," Wilmington explained as two paramedics hurried into the room.

"Keep his neck straight, Ezra," Jackson ordered as he moved out of the way.

"Affirmative, Mr. Jackson."

"Holly shit, Frank, where do we start?" the first paramedic gasped, unable to stop the horror in his voice as he hurriedly knelt beside the weakening man.

"Take it easy, Bill, we got a lot of work to do," the older paramedic told his partner. He recognized the man in the chair from other times he'd been called to the aid of The Firm agents. " Cover the wounds on his neck with gauze and saline and then get a Cervical collar on him," he ordered.

Bill opened his fully equipped kit and took out the bandages, saline, and cervical collar. He stood up and walked to the side in order to cover the wound and place the collar around the injured man's neck.

Jackson reached into the kit and removed a large gauze bandage. Without a word he pulled open Tanner's shirt, wincing at the blood oozing from the wound. "This should hold you till the paramedics can look at it," he explained.

"Thanks, Nathan," Tanner said, as he watched the two men working on his friend.

Chris whimpered as he watched the man move to his side, crying out as he felt something touch his tender skin. He tried to pull away as he once more felt something wrapped around his neck. Unable to comprehend what they were doing his mind went back to the torment he'd suffered and his body spasmed against the choking collar. "No!" he screamed as he bucked against this new form of torture, pulling his hands and causing the nails to tear into the soft tissue.

Frank Parker clamped his hands down on the injured man's forearm, immobilizing his arms so he wouldn't pull against the nails holding him captive, "Chris, I need you to stop doing that," he ordered softly, his eyes finally meeting Larabee's pain filled gaze.

"No m...more, p...please. I...I c...can't d...do it. O...oh G...God, V...Vin, s...stop. Please!" the scream that ripped from his throat stabbed the heart of the younger man.

"Chris, it's not me," Tanner cried as he felt the tears streaming down his cheeks, "Please, God, it's not me," he sobbed as the blond's body contorted at the sound of his voice.

"No! V...Vin, please d...don't t...touch me," the soft, weak, pleading voice caused more damage to the younger man than the scream that erupted moments before.

The sharpshooter couldn't meet his friend's eyes. He knew in his heart he was the cause of all his torment and he stumbled past Sanchez, who's arm snaked out and caught his elbow.

"He doesn't know what he's saying, Vin," Sanchez assured him.

"I know that, Josiah, but it doesn't make it any easier. I need some air," he said as he continued towards the door, the weak cries emanating from his friend tearing his soul apart.

"I'll come with you," Sanchez offered, worried about the depth of pain he heard in the younger man's voice.

"I need to be alone for a few minutes, Josiah," Tanner pleaded as he hurried out the door as another pain filled cry came from his friend.

"Give him a couple of minutes, Josiah," Wilmington suggested.

"He's in a lot of pain, Brother," Sanchez said as he returned to watching the two men working on Larabee.

"How're you gonna get those things out?" Dunne asked as he watched the older Paramedic examining the damage done to the blond's hands.

"Has the fire department arrived yet?" Frank asked.

"I'll check," Standish said.

"Why do you want the fire department?" Dunne asked.

"S...stop. H...hurts," Larabee cried softly as Bill began examining the burns on his torso.

"Fire trucks are equipped with the items we need to cut away the arms of this chair," Bill explained. "We can't remove the nails without causing more damage.

They'll have to do it at the hospital."

"W...why won't y...you s...stop?" the blond pleaded as Frank looked for an area to insert an IV catheter.

"Easy, Stud," Wilmington soothed as he heard his friend's terrified cries.

"Damn, there's not much room to put this in," Frank swore as he finally found an unmarked area on Larabee's left arm. He quickly inserted the IV and began running the fluids, wide open into his patient.

"I'll hold it," Jackson offered as Frank finished with the IV.

"Thanks," the older Paramedic said. "Bill, I need you to take care of those knife wounds. I'm going to wrap his hands."

Jackson watched as Frank tore open sterile packages and poured saline onto them, carefully placing the gauze pads over the wounds on both hands, wrapping the entire hands, including the fingertips in more gauze. His eyes met the glazed green eyes and he wished the man would lose consciousness so he wouldn't feel everything that was being done to him.

"H...help me," Larabee begged as his wounds were tended by the two men.

"They are helping you, Chris, just a little more," Jackson told him.

"His right wrist is broken but it's being held immobile by the arm of the chair. I'm gonna take care of his knee and the wound in the right calf next," Frank explained as he watched his partner work on the knife wound that ran along the patient's right side.

"Think he's got some broken ribs here as well," Bill told him as he gently touched a large black and blue area above and to the right of the knife wound.

"N...no more p...please," the blond begged.

Wilmington looked up from his friends as he heard heavy footsteps rushing into the room. Two heavily muscled men hurried into the room. "What do you need,

Frank?" one of them asked as he took in the battered body in the chair.

"I need something to cut through the arms of this chair so we can get him to out of here, Jed," Frank explained.

"I've got just the thing. Be right back," the fireman told him.

"Hear that, Chris? We're gonna have you outta here in no time," Frank tried to reassure the terrified man.

"D...don't w...want to," the injured man cried weakly.

"Don't want to what, Chris?" Jackson asked.

"Don't w...want to l...live. D... d...deserve to die a...after w...what I d...did. V...Vin knows," his words were low and ominous and his friends wondered if they'd ever have the strong, confident Chris Larabee back with them again.

"Ezra, how's Vin?" Wilmington asked as he watched the younger man come back in with the fireman.

"Mr. Tanner wasn't out there. According to one of the officers he took Mr. Sanchez's vehicle and drove off."

"He did what?" Wilmington asked angrily.

"He left," Standish repeated.

"Damn fool. Where would he be headed?"

"Where do you think brother Vin would go, Brother Buck?"

"Gary," Wilmington answered immediately, watching as the firemen began cutting through the arms of the chair that held his friend captive.

"Yep. I don't think brother Vin told us everything. I have a feeling he knows where Gary Wilcox is or at least how to find him," Sanchez said.

"Got your cell phone, Ez?" Wilmington asked.

"I have something even better, Mr. Wilmington. I have the tracking device and if Mr. Tanner hasn't removed the mole. We can follow him," Standish told them.

"How much of a head start does he have on us?" Sanchez asked.

"The officer said he departed immediately after leaving this establishment," Standish answered as he turned on the tracking device and smiled at the steady beeping noise it made. "We have the illusive sharpshooter."

"I think you, Ezra and me better go after him, Josiah," Wilmington suggested.

"Let's see if Miller will assign us one of his cars," Sanchez suggested, turning back to their friends in time to see the paramedics remove Larabee from the chair and gently place him on a backboard.

Weak cries came from the tortured man as he was placed on the backboard and strapped in securely. An oxygen mask was carefully placed over his mouth and nose and he felt the coolness as it entered his tortured body. Tears streamed from his eyes as the pain became to much for him and he cried out as they lifted the backboard and placed him on the stretcher. "I...I'm s...sorry, Sarah," he whispered as he saw the image of his dead wife above him. "D...didn't m...mean f...for you to die."

"Let's get him out of here," Frank ordered as his partner took one side of the stretcher and he took the other.

"You taking him to Saint Vincents?" Wilmington asked.

"Yes. Dr. Midland already knows we'll be bringing him in. I'll contact her again once we're airborne and update her on his injuries," Frank answered as they hurried from the room.

"Bob, can we take one of the cars outside?" Wilmington asked.

"What happened to yours?"

"We came with Josiah and Vin seems to have taken off with it."

"That stupid idiot. He's not in any shape to drive," Jackson snapped.

"We know that, Brother, but brother Vin was a little upset and we think he's gone after Gary."

"We'd better find him before he does something stupid."

"Vin, do something stupid?" Wilmington asked sarcastically. "Get that tracker going Ez. We got us an idiot to find. So can we take a car, Bob?"

"Go ahead. Hell, I didn't see anything," Miller laughed. "Just make damn sure Vin doesn't do anything illegal."

"Thanks, Bob," Wilmington said as he took the set of keys Josiah had used to open the manacles that held their friend captive. "Hopefully one of these will fit one of those cars," he said as they hurried out the door.

Chapter 27

Vin drove Josiah's car through the streets of Billings. He knew what he had to do and he wanted to do it before the others found out and tried to stop him. He blinked his eyes, not sure if the stinging was caused by the bright streetlights or the unshed tears he refused to give in to. He'd used his cell phone to call information and found a listing for Gary Woodbury. It was a simple matter to call in a favor and get the man's home and business address. He was headed for the business address since his calls to the home number went unanswered.

He pulled up in front of a low level glass covered building in the business section. He got out of the car, leaving the door wide open in his haste to meet with the man he'd once considered his best friend. He climbed the steps and slammed open the door, walking past the unmanned front desk to the brass colored door. He slammed his right fist against the button, sending tremors of agony into his shoulder. The door opened and he stepped inside the air conditioned elevator, once again slamming his fist into the button for the third floor. ‘So sorry, Chris,' he thought as he pictured the injuries inflicted on his friend.

He opened the door to the third office, rage boiling over as he saw the gold colored lettering adorning the glass window. Gary Woodbury Enterprises was boldly emblazoned in block lettering.

He stepped through the door and into a darkened office. He could just make out a small desk to the left of a large door. His eyes took in the empty space as he slowly made his way to the inner door. The darkness of the room mirrored the darkness of his soul as he turned the gold colored handle.

Gary Woodbury looked up from the pictures he'd been studying, his eyes widening in shock and anger at the man standing in the doorway. "What the hell are you doing here?" he asked.

"How could you?" Tanner asked as he advanced on the man behind the large mahogany desk, ignoring the raspy quality of the other man's voice. "You sick son of a bitch."

"Stay away from me, Tanner, or I'll call the police," Gary told him.

"Go ahead maybe they'll get here in time to pick up the pieces cause I'm gonna tear you limb from limb," Tanner's soft voice belied the rage that continued to build inside him.

"That's funny. You already tore me limb from limb," Gary shouted as much as his ruined larynx would allow. Vin Tanner slowly moved towards him. "Hold it right there," Wilcox said as he took a small pistol from the top drawer and pointed it at the other man's chest.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You broke your promise to me! You left me at the mercy of those animals in Beirut. They cut off my legs and they tortured me and burned me! Look at my face!

Look at what they did to me! The only limbs I have left are my arms and even they bare the scars of what happened to me because of your broken promise."

Tanner's face showed his anger as he listened to his one time friend's tirade. "Then why didn't you take your anger out on me? Chris didn't deserve what that bastard did to him!"

"Where is Whelan?"

"Dead. He died too damn easily," Tanner snarled as he started towards the man again, staggering as the gun went off and the bullet burned a fiery trail across his left thigh.

"Stay back, Tanner," Gary warned. "Did he at least kill Larabee before you killed him?"

"Chris is on his way to the hospital. I can't believe I thought of you as my best friend."

"Me either but that's what makes my revenge so sweet. I saw how much Larabee meant to you and I wanted to take that away from you. Whelan promised that he would think you were the cause of all his pain. From the look on your face I can tell it worked," Gary laughed.

"You sick, twisted, Bastard. Whatever they did to you won't come close to what I'm going to do to you," Tanner screamed as he threw himself over the desk, grabbing the surprised man by the throat.

"Vin, where are you?"

Tanner recognized Buck Wilmington's voice as his hands tightened around his old friend's throat. He heard the sound of a gunshot at the same time he felt something burn its way into his chest. Ignoring the searing agony he tightened his grip on the other man's throat.

"Don't do this, Vin," Wilmington pleaded as he hurried towards the two struggling men. He reached out and tried to pry the younger man's hands from the death grip he had on the other man's neck.

"He's behind it all, Buck," Tanner hissed.

Buck watched the man's face slowly turn red, his eyes beginning to bulge as the air supply was cut off. The pistol was dropped to the desktop as soon as it'd gone off. Wilcox's own hands had reached up and tried to pull the tightening hands off his throat.

"Don't do this, Brother," Sanchez said as his hands joined Buck's in an attempt to stop their friend from choking the life from the other man.

"If you do this, Vin, Gary wins cause you'll go to jail. If that happens we might as well give up on Chris because you're the only one who can get through to him,"

Jackson warned.

Nathan's words got through the heavy layer of anger that had wrapped itself around Vin Tanner's mind. Slowly he relaxed his grip and watched as the other man breathed in great gulps of air.

"Is this Gary Wilcox?" Standish asked.

"No," Tanner said as he moved off the desk. "Gary Wilcox died in Beirut. This man just used his body."

Gary reached his hand out towards the pistol on his desk, grasping it tightly in his hand.

"Look out, Vin!" Jackson shouted and leapt at the man in the wheelchair, sending them both careening to the floor, the pistol flying across the room.

"No," Gary cried. "He has to die for what he did to me."

"You did this to yourself," Jackson said as he pushed the chair away from the man. "The police should be here shortly to arrest you."

"I won't go to jail. Don't let them send me to jail, Vin. You broke your promise to me in Beirut but you can make up for it now. You can let me go. No one needs to know what I did. You owe me, Vin."

"I don't owe you a fucking thing," Tanner snapped as he lifted himself off the desk.

"Oh my God, Vin, you're hurt," Jackson gasped as he noticed the blossoming red stain on the man's chest. "Call an ambulance, Buck. Lie down, Vin," he ordered as he pointed to a large sofa on the opposite wall.

"Is Chris alright, Nathan?" Tanner asked as he felt a coldness seeping into his body.

"He was on his way to Saint Vincent's when we left. Ezra, get some pillows and elevate his legs. JD, find something I can use to stop the bleeding."

Sanchez stood over Gary Wilcox, his eyes filled with anger as he listened to Nathan shouting orders to the other men. He felt no pity for the man, having seen the damage he'd done to his two friends. "You'd better pray they both live," he said softly, his eyes falling on a partially open door covered in pictures of Chris and Vin from the Billings Gazette.

"Ambulance is on the way, Nathan. How bad is he?" Wilmington asked.

"Between the knife wound and now this bullet he's lost a lot of blood, Buck. Looks like a bullet grazed his leg too," Jackson observed as he checked the bloodied area on Tanner's thigh.

"I'm cold, Nathan," Tanner mumbled.

"See if you can find something to cover him with, Ezra," Jackson ordered as Dunne returned with an armload of folded towels. He quickly used a couple to try and stem the flow of blood from the wounds.

Sanchez pulled Gary Wilcox from the floor and threw him into his chair. "I don't think God would be to angry with me if I gave you a taste of your own medicine right now. I've never hit a man in a wheelchair before but you move from there and I'll make you regret you were ever born," he promised.

Chapter 28

"P...please just l...leave me a...alone," Larabee begged as he was lifted from the stretcher and placed on another bed. He felt so helpless as new hands probed his body. Adding tubes and IV lines.

"Hello, Chris."

He heard the all too familiar voice of Stacey Midland as she placed her hand on his forehead. "H...hurts so m...much, Doc," he whispered weakly.

"I know it does, Chris. We'll do something about that real soon, ok?"

"K," he mumbled as his eyes closed.

"That's it, Chris go to sleep."

"C...can't s...sleep he w...won't let m...me."

"Who won't let you?" Midland asked as she watched the trauma team work on the injured man.

"W...Whelan and V...Vin. P...punish. H...have to b...be punished."

Midland couldn't understand his reference to Vin wanting him to be punished. She knew how close Chris Larabee and Vin Tanner were. "No one's going to punish you anymore, Chris. You're allowed to sleep now," she soothed as she watched two nurses remove the bandages from around the patient's hands.

"So t...tired."

"I know you are. If you can't sleep just close your eyes and rest. No one's going to hurt you anymore, I promise," Midland explained, her anger rising as she saw the damage to her patient's hands and fingers. ‘What kind of animal would do this to another human being?' she thought as she felt the man trembling beneath her touch.

He cried out as they examined the swollen hands and fingers. "Y... you p...promised you w...wouldn't hurt me a...anymore," Larabee's voice sounded weak and forlorn and she knew they were in danger of losing him if they didn't give him something to help him sleep soon.

Midland finished checking his head for signs of an injury and sighed thankfully as she found nothing. She checked his pupils and continued talking to him. "I'm going to give you something for the pain in a minute. I just need you to answer a couple of quick questions for me. Can you tell me your name and where you are?"

"C...Chris Larabee. H...hospital," he answered tiredly.

"That's right. Jenny give him two milligrams morphine," she ordered

"Yes, Doctor," the petite nurse answered and did as the doctor instructed.

"That should help, Chris," Midland said as the nurse removed the syringe from the IV tubing.

"P...please, j...just make it s...stop," he cried out as his body spasmed on the bed, jerking against the restraints holding him in place. "Oh, God," he screamed through clenched teeth., tears streaming from his eyes.

"Chris," Midland spoke softly as she tried to get through to the man on the bed. She watched as his face contorted in pain, his forehead drenched in sweat, and his body was wracked by spasms.

"Please," he begged simply as the spasm finally stopped and he tried to catch his breath.

"It's alright, Chris, we're gonna take care of everything," Midland explained. "Jenny, give him two more milligrams of morphine," she ordered as she resumed her examination.

"Yes, Doctor."

Midland continued to watch her patient as she ordered a series of X-rays and blood work. She watched as the team expertly inserted a foley catheter and an NG tube.

Chris felt some of the pain leave his body. He felt cold hands working on him and wondered what they were doing. He didn't want to open his eyes, didn't want to be reminded of where he was or why he was here. He knew he deserved everything Whelan did to him. He felt someone touching him and knew they were trying to sooth him but he didn't want to be soothed. He wanted to join his family but because of what he'd done he knew he'd never be with them. ‘I'm sorry, Sarah. I'm so sorry. I love you both so much. Oh, God I miss you,' he thought as a wall of despair and blackness descended over him. His last vision was of Vin Tanner nodding his head and Whelan placing a gun to his head. ‘Vin says it time to die, Chris!' Whelan's voice echoed in his mind as he slipped into unconsciousness.

"That's it, Chris, go to sleep and let us take care of everything," Midland said, shaking her head at the cruelty inflicted on the man's body. "Let me know as soon as the test results are in," she told the team before leaving the room. She hurried to the nurse's desk and picked up the Doctor's phone. The call was answered as the second ring started.

"Parker," a sleepy male voice answered.

"Tom, it's Stacey Midland."

"What can I do for you, Stacey."

"Do you remember Chris Larabee?"

"Chris Larabee, I think so. Works for The Firm doesn't he?"

"That's right. I need your help with him. He was brought in about half an hour ago with multiple injuries."

"How bad?" Parker asked, his voice serious and professional as he listened.

"Bad. He's been tortured. His hands are a mess from nails embedded between his thumb and finger, also has a nail puncturing his right knee. We're going to need to remove them surgically. His fingernails are also a mess, looks like something was shoved underneath each one and I'm worried about infection. His right wrist is broken, he's got knife wounds to his left arm, right calf and right side. He's got broken ribs. His neck, ankles, and wrists are torn and bruised from being restrained.

He's also got multiple burns covering his body, I'm not sure what caused those yet but some of them are second degree."

"Damn. I'll be there as soon as I can, Stacey. Is he stable enough for surgery?"

"I don't know, Tom. Right now I'd have to say no but we may not have a choice."

"Alright, I'm on my way," Parker assured her as he hung up the phone.

Midland replaced the phone and watched as a portable X-ray machine was pushed into Larabee's room. She turned to the nurse manning the desk. "Where's the rest of Larabee's team?" she asked.

"They haven't arrived yet, Doctor."

Midland's eye's opened wide in surprise. "They haven't?"

"No, Ma'am."

"No wonder they haven't been pounding on the door to get in. Let me know as soon as they get here."

"I will, Doctor," the nurse answered.

Chapter 29

"Vin, the paramedics are here," Jackson said as he moved away to give the men room to work.

"Mr. Tanner, can you hear me?" a dark haired man asked as he knelt beside the couch.

"Yeah," Tanner grimaced.

"Just relax and let us take care of you."

"K," Tanner answered as he felt the two men work over the wounds on his body. Through a haze of pain he heard them asking Jackson questions and felt them start an Iv in his right arm, before succumbing to the encroaching darkness.

"Let's get him out of here," the dark haired man said as the lifted Vin Tanner's unconscious body onto the stretcher.

"You are taking him to Saint Vincents. Aren't you?" Wilmington asked.

"Yes we are."

"I'm going with you," Jackson told them and without another word followed the men out the door.

"What do we do with this piece of trash?" Dunne asked as he watched the man in the wheelchair.

"I'd like to put my hands on a nail gun and show him just what it feels like to have one shoved up his a..."

"Buck, that's enough," Sanchez ordered. "We all feel the same way but now's not the time.

"I know you're right, Josiah, but I keep seeing Chris and the things that were done to him. Now I can't get Vin outta my head either."

"You guys in here?"

"Yeah, we're here, Bob," Wilmington called.

"I just saw Tanner. How bad is he hurt?" Miller asked as he and two other officers entered the room.

"He took one in the chest," Sanchez answered.

"Who's that?" Miller asked.

"That's the piece of refuse who paid to inflict the damage on Mr. Larabee and shot Mr. Tanner," Standish told him.

"His name's Gary Wilcox," Dunne said.

"He also goes by the moniker Gary Woodbury," Standish informed him.

"Make sure you tell him his rights. I don't want anything messing up this arrest," Sanchez snarled.

Miller walked behind the desk and placed his hands on the handles of the chair. "Will do, Josiah," he assured the ex-preacher.

"We'll leave him in your capable hands, Bob. I think we all want to get to the hospital and see how Chris and Vin are doing."

"Ok, Buck, but I'll need to get statements from all of you."

"Later, Bob," Sanchez told him as the four men hurried out the door.

Chapter 30

"Dr. Midland," the nurse called as she opened the door.

Stacy Midland looked up from her examination of Chris Larabee. "Are they here, Daisy?" she asked.

"Two of them are. Nathan Jackson and Vin Tanner just came in. Mr. Tanner's been shot."

"Damn. Put him in Trauma two and have David's team called," she ordered. Stacey Midland hurried from the room to check on the other injured member of the team.

"Doc," Jackson called as he watched her exit the room.

"Nathan."

"How's Chris?"

"He's resting right now. We gave him morphine for the pain and he went to sleep not long afterwards."

"Thank God. He must've been exhausted."

"He was showing signs of exhaustion, Nathan. Look, I have to go check on Vin. I'm going to want to talk to you about what happened to them as soon as I'm done with him."

"I'll be here," Jackson assured her.

Midland walked into the second room and looked at her second patient. Shaking her head she watched the nurses taking blood and starting a second IV. "How's he doing?" she asked.

"He's lost a lot of blood, Dr. Midland. He's got a bullet wound in the leg and it looks like there's one still lodged in his chest. Also appears to be a knife wound in his shoulder," a tall blonde nurse answered.

"Call for a portable X-Ray and have Dr. Marshall paged. We need to get him to surgery and get that bullet out," Midland explained as she looked into the patient's eyes.

"C...Chris."

"Well hello, Vin."

Vin Tanner opened his blue eyes and met the brown eyes of the doctor, "Doc, how's Chris?" he asked weakly.

"We're just getting him ready for surgery, Vin."

"W...will he be a...alright?"

"I can't answer that right now, Vin. You saw what he was like and you know the extent of the damage. I've called Dr. Parker and he's on his way. You know he's the best and will do everything possible for Chris?"

"He t...thinks I did t...those things to him, Doc," Tanner whispered as tears came to his pain filled blue eyes.

Stacey saw the depth of pain on Vin Tanner's face. She knew how close her two worst patients were and wondered what could have been done to convince Chris

Larabee that Vin Tanner was behind the injuries he'd received. "He knows you'd never hurt him, Vin," she tried to reassure the younger man.

"Does he?"

"Of course he does. Right now he's just confused but as soon as he's feeling better he'll realize it wasn't you," she saw the fear in his eyes and spoke softly. "It'll be alright, Vin," she said.

"T...that's the s...second time s...someone's told me that," Tanner said as his handsome face filled with pain.

"Then it must be true," she told him. She looked up as the door opened and David Marshall, head of trauma team two entered the room.

"What have we got, Stacey?" he asked as he stepped up to the bed.

"Multiple bullet wounds, one in the chest one in the leg. Knife wound to the left shoulder," she informed the newcomer.

"Looks like we have some work to do. Vin, do you remember me?" Marshall asked.

"Yeah," Tanner answered.

"Good. Now you just lie back and let us take care of everything. How's the pain right now?"

"N...not to bad," Tanner automatically lied.

"I guess that means you need something?" Stacey couldn't suppress the smile as she heard the younger man's reply.

In spite of the pain Vin Tanner smiled at the doctor who knew both him and Chris all too well.

"We'll give you something in a couple of minutes, Vin," Marshall informed his patient as he began a cursory exam.

"I'll see you later, Vin," Midland told the younger man as she left him in the capable hands of Dr. Marshall.

"Thanks, Doc," Tanner said as he closed his eyes.

Chapter 31

Vin could hear a light buzzing. He wanted to make it go away but instead it seemed to get louder until he distinguished the familiar voices of his friends. "L...leave me," he whispered, gasping as he tried to move on the bed.

"Hey, Pard, it's bout time you woke up."

"B...Buck?"

"That's right," Wilmington answered. "Come on open those baby blues."

"Time to wake up, Vin," Jackson said.

Tanner's voice was raspy as he asked, "What happened?"

"You're in intensive care, Vin, because you thought you'd look better with a couple of extra holes in your body," Wilmington answered.

"T...that why I feel l...like crap?"

"Probably, that plus the anaesthetic," Jackson informed him.

"Whoa, Kid," Wilmington said as he slipped a small kidney shaped boat in front of the younger man's mouth. He waited for the his stomach to empty and then helped him relax against the pillows.

"Feel better?" Jackson asked.

"Not really," Tanner answered sheepishly. His eyes suddenly opened and focused on the two men in the room with him, "Chris?" he asked and noticed the look that passed between the ladies man and the medic. "Nathan?"

"Chris is in a room just down the hall, Vin. He's not doing very well right now," Jackson informed him, knowing that Vin would be able to detect a lie.

"What do you mean he's not doing very well?" Tanner asked, trying unsuccessfully to sit up.

"Easy, Vin," Wilmington told him.

"What's going on with Chris?"

Jackson's gaze didn't waver from the man on the bed. He knew nothing but the truth would pacify him. Looking at Buck he saw the ladies man nod slowly. He placed a hand on Tanner's shoulder and began to explain what was happening to Larabee. "Dr. Parker surgically removed the nails in his hands and knee. His right wrist has been set. He's got three broken ribs on his right side as well as a lengthy gash to the right of his navel. He's also got a deep wound to the right calf and left arm, all three wounds have been stitched. His neck, wrists, and ankles also sustained damage from the manacles."

"What aren't you telling me, Nathan?" Tanner asked as the man finished listing the injuries.

"I told you everything, Vin."

"No you haven't. I can see it in your eyes," Tanner told him.

"You'd better tell him, Nathan," Wilmington ordered softly.

"He's on a ventilator and they're keeping him sedated."

"Why?"

"Vin, you know what Whelan did to him. Chris is dehydrated, malnourished, and exhausted. Dr. Midland and Dr. Parker are both worried about level of kidney function due to the massive muscle damage. His hands are swollen and they're worried about whether he'll regain the use of them. His fingers are also swollen and in danger of becoming infected," Jackson explained.

Tanner's eyes filled with unshed tears for his best friend. He cursed Gary Wilcox for the pain and torment he'd caused Chris Larabee. He knew if he had the time back he'd have taken the man's life. He regretted listening to his friends when they'd told him it was the wrong thing to do.

Tanner stared at the two men in the room with him. Finally he was able to control the anger he felt and he spoke softly. "I wanna see him, Nathan."

"Not right now, Vin," Wilmington said. "You're in no shape to be up and around yet. Dr. Midland and Dr. Marshall will be here soon and you can ask them about seeing Chris."

"How long since we were brought in?"

"Almost twenty four hours," Jackson answered.

"Morning, Vin," Stacey Midland said as she followed David Marshall into the room. "How are you feeling?"

"I wanna see Chris," Tanner told her.

"Now how did I know you were going to say that?" Midland laughed.

"Can I see him?"

"Not today, Vin. I'm afraid you both need to rest."

"Please," Tanner begged, grimacing in pain as he tried to sit up.

"I think it's time for your meds, Vin," Marshall informed his patient as he finished his examination.

"Got it right here," Midland said as she delivered the pain medication into the young man's IV line.

Marshall turned and headed for the door, calling over his shoulder as he left. "I've got a couple of other patients to see but I'll check in on him later, Stacey."

"Ok, David," Midland said as she watched her patient's eyes close.

"C...Chris," Tanner whispered as he felt the warmth of the medication lulling him to sleep.

"He should sleep for awhile now," Midland told Wilmington and Jackson. "Why don't you two go home and get some rest?"

"How's Chris doing?" Wilmington asked.

"There's no change, Buck," Midland told him. "He's still critical."

"How long are you going to keep him sedated?"

"Well, Nathan, we'll keep him sedated for a couple of days then see how he's doing. You both know what's going on with him. The injuries and the convulsions he's having are taking a toll on his body," Midland explained.

"Any change in his kidney function?"

Midland shook her head as she made eye contact with the medic. "No change, Nathan, his urine output is still dangerously low and his creatinine level is higher than we'd like."

"What does that mean?" Wilmington asked worriedly.

"It means his kidneys aren't functioning properly right now. If things continue the way they are we may have to resort to dialysis, but that decision will be made by

Nephrology. I've arranged for a consult with them this evening. We've started an IV with sodium Bicarbonate to help protect his kidneys." Midland explained.

"How long before you know?" Jackson asked.

"If things don't begin to improve in the next twenty four hours we're going to have to intervene," she informed the worried men.

"Whelan died too fuckin' easily," Wilmington swore angrily as he walked to the window and let the tears fall from his eyes.

Chapter 32

Josiah stood over the bed, his hands resting on the forehead of his friend. His eyes filled with unshed tears as he looked at the machines keeping the blond alive.

A ventilator was breathing for the younger man, the sound strange to the ex preacher's ears. He recognised the NG tube that ran into Larabee's left nostril down into his stomach. A foley catheter was also in evidence along with the regular IV and there was a central line leading into the patient's jugular, used to deliver meds as needed. He watched as the monitors continued to record the data sent to them from the leads attached to the patient's body.

Josiah hated seeing the white swatch of bandages covering the wounds on his body. Both hands looked like grotesque caricatures of baseball mitts, because of the thick covering of gauze protecting them from infection. White bandages were also evident on his neck, arm, side, knee and leg.

He knew what most of the IVs were for, but it still angered him to see them on Chris Larabee all because of a man's unjustified need for vengeance. "Too many times, Chris, too many times."

"Did you say something, Mr. Sanchez?"

"Sorry, Kristy, I was just thinking out loud. Thinking about how many times one of us has been in here over the past few years," Sanchez told her, his voice soft and worried.

"You gentlemen certainly are no strangers to the ICU, Mr. Sanchez," Kristy smiled as she tried to lighten the man's somber mood. "Actually the board of directors is debating about whether or not to hire you guys as consultants when they purchase new equipment."

Josiah couldn't help but smile. Kristy was one of the nurses who'd treated them over the years and he knew she was trying to get his mind off the man on the bed.

"That's closer to the truth than you think, Kristy. I could probably tell you what every tube and IV line is for," Sanchez told her sadly.

"Hmm, maybe we should hire you guys ourselves. That way we can take vacations when we really want to," Kristy grinned as she checked the overhead monitors.

Josiah watched the nurse and finally had to laugh. "I'd say we'd be just as bad as Nurses as we are as patients."

"Then maybe I should rethink that," she told him.

"That would probably be a wise idea," Sanchez joked as he touched his friend's pale forehead. Closing his eyes he prayed that the younger man would make it through and that the road back would not be as long or as hard as it looked to be.

"Are you alright, Mr. Sanchez?"

Josiah shook his head as silent tears formed in his eyes, "I'm fine, Kristy. I just wonder why God saw fit to test Brother Chris once again."

"The good Lord has plans for us all, Mr. Sanchez. I'm sure there's a reason for what happened to Mr. Larabee."

"Sometimes I wish he'd tell us what the reason is instead of giving us trials that are hard to overcome," Sanchez looked down at the battered body of his friend, wiping away the moisture that threatened to fall from his eyes. "This is one trial that you won't have to win by yourself, Brother Chris, we'll be here to help you through every step," he rubbed his temples in an effort to stem the mounting pain behind his tired eyes.

"Why don't you go get some rest? Mr. Larabee will be well cared for while you're gone," Kristy suggested.

Josiah Sanchez nodded his head and slowly walked out of the room, turning his head one last time to look at his friend, ‘Please, God, Chris Larabee is still needed here. Don't take him from us,' he silently pleaded as he walked away.

Chapter 33

Nathan sat with Vin waiting for the younger man to come fully awake. David Marshall and Stacey Midland had checked him over earlier and both were amazed at the progress the sharpshooter continued to make. It was now thirty hours since they'd found and rescued Chris Larabee and none of the five uninjured agents had slept much. Nerves and tempers were running hot as they waited for word on their leaders condition.

Jackson looked up from the book on psychology he'd been reading as the door opened and Ezra Standish walked in.

"How does Mr. Tanner fare?"

"He's doing better and Dr. Marshall is going to release him to a regular room in the morning."

"Does Mr. Tanner know?"

"Not yet. He was sleeping when they were here but it looks like he's coming round. Where are the others?"

"Mr. Wilmington has taken up residence with Mr. Larabee. Mr. Sanchez and Mr. Dunne are in the Chapel. I though I'd see if you would like to take a break."

"Thanks, Ezra, I'd like to stretch my legs for awhile."

"Is there any word on Mr. Larabee?" Standish asked before Jackson left.

"He's still critical and they're continuing to keep him sedated," Jackson answered solemnly.

"What about the Dialysis?"

"Not yet. They'll try to avoid Dialysis but they'll be monitoring him so all we can do is wait."

Standish sat in the chair vacated by Jackson. "Maybe Mr. Sanchez's prayers will do some good."

"Prayers never hurt anyone."

Chapter 34

Buck watched as the nurse removed the bandages from Larabee's hands. His eyes glued to the deep bruises and swelling that made his hands twice their normal size.

He knew she was soaking the injured fingers in Hydrogen peroxide in an effort to prevent them getting infected. He was grateful that his old friend was sedated and would not feel the pain or burning sensation the soaking would cause.

"How are his hands?" he asked the grey haired nurse as she looked after the blond.

"A couple of the fingernails may be infected," she informed him. "Dr. Parker will be here shortly and he'll examine them."

"What happens if they are?" Wilmington asked worry and pain evident in his eyes.

"We'll have to remove them and treat the infected area."

"Damn!" the moustached man hissed as he watched the unmoving figure on the bed. ‘Hey, Stud, you're a mess right now but we're gonna get you through it,' he thought as he struggled to keep his emotions in check.

He sat in the chair and thought back over the rocky friendship he shared with this man. Chris had always been so strong and it hurt to see him lying on the bed, the wounds on his body reminding them all of the atrocities Whelan had inflicted on him.

Tom Parker entered the room, nodded slightly in Buck's direction, before walking up to the bed. "How's he doing, Tess?"

"I think you'd better have a look at his fingers," she told him.

Parker lifted one injured limb from the peroxide solution and shook his head. "The index and thumbnails may have to be removed. Keep soaking them in the peroxide and I'll check them in a couple of hours." he told her as he moved to check the other hand. "The same thing with this one. Has Dr. Midland seen these?" he asked, indicating the fingernails.

"Not today. She's in a meeting with Nephrology, Doctor."

"Any idea how long before she's through?"

"No, Sir, she said she'd be back as soon as they finished."

"Any change in his urine output?"

"Hello, Tom."

"Stacey," Parker said as he continued to check the dressings that covered Larabee's body. "How'd the meeting go?"

"Actually, Tom, there may be a bit of good news for a change."

"Lord knows we can use some," Wilmington whispered.

"What's the good news Stacey?" Parker asked as he inspected the long gash in the patient's side.

"It looks like there's a marked increase in his urine output and his creatinine levels are dropping."

"That is good news," Parker said, frowning at the redness surrounding the wound in Larabee's right side.

"What exactly does that mean?" Wilmington asked.

"It means we won't need to resort to Dialysis if it continues to improve," Midland answered before turning back to Tom Parker. She'd noticed the frown on his forehead. "What's wrong, Tom?"

"The area around the wound is swollen and hot," Parker answered as he probed the area. "There's definitely something there," he told her as he felt a hard lump beneath the stitched area. "Mr. Wilmington, you'll have to leave for now. Stacey, could you give me a hand here? I'm going to open the wound and drain it. Tess call ultrasound and tell them I want them here as soon as possible."

"Yes, Sir, Doctor," Tess answered.

Parker and Midland carefully opened a small area of the wound and took a swab of the oozing substance. "Send this to the lab for analysis right away," Midland ordered as she passed it to Tess.

"Hopefully nothing shows up," Parker said as Midland passed him some gauze soaked in saline. They covered the wound with the gauze and hoped they wouldn't need anything more. His eyes strayed to the re-bandaged hands. "We may have another problem, Stacey."

"What?"

"We may have to remove the nail on his thumb and index fingers on both hands."

"Are they that bad?"

"Not yet but we'll have to keep an eye on them."

"How long before we let him wake up?"

"Well it's noon now. Let's ease up on the versed. It'll probably take him a while to wake up.

Chapter 35

"Nathan, how's Chris doing?"

"Well good morning, Vin."

"Nathan," Tanner's voice was laced with exasperation.

"He's doing a little better, Vin. Buck was by earlier and Dr. Midland said they probably wouldn't have to resort to Dialysis."

"Well that's one piece of good news. Are they going to let him wake up soon?"

"Dr. Parker and Dr. Midland want to give him till this evening. They've got a few things to do for him before they let him come fully awake."

"I wanna be there, Nate."

"Vin, that might not be a good idea right now. Just because they've moved you out of ICU doesn't mean you're well enough to go moving around a lot."

"Nathan, that's not really what you're worried about, is it?" the younger man asked, uncertain he really wanted to hear the answer.

"He's been through a lot, Vin. The last thing he needs right now is to get upset."

Tanner's blue eyes filled with tears as he realized that Jackson was right. Whelan's influence on Chris may have cost him the best friend he'd ever known. Chris

Larabee was the only person he'd ever let into his heart. ‘Oh, God, Cowboy, don't let him take you from me. I don't know if I can live with what they did to you. I need to know that you don't blame me," he thought angrily as the tears flowed unchecked from his eyes.

"Easy, Vin," Jackson soothed as he held the trembling man. "Things are gonna work out."

"How can you say that. Nathan," Tanner hissed. "Because of me my best friend may die. God knows he may never want to see me again and I don't blame him. I did this to him. Oh, I don't mean I physically hurt him myself but if it hadn't been for me Gary Wilcox wouldn't have been so bitter. He wouldn't have gone after

Chris at all except that Chris was stupid enough to accept me as a friend. Shoulda known better," he sobbed softly against the medic's shoulder.

"Chris will get better, Vin," Jackson tried to assure the sharpshooter, his own heart aching with each tear that dropped from the younger man's eyes. "He knows in his heart that you'd never hurt him. He's just twisted around right now because of what Whelan did to him. You just have to give yourself and him time. The healing will begin for both of you as soon as Chris wakes up."

"I don't know, Nate, I just don't know if I can face him after all this," Tanner whispered as he pushed back from the caring arms of the medic.

"Why don't you try and get some rest, Vin?" Jackson suggested, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Am kinda tired, Nate," the sharpshooter's eyes closed but Jackson could still see the evidence of the pain in the lines of moisture drying on his face.

"Things will work out, Vin. You and Chris need each other," the medic said as he sat back in the chair to wait for the others to arrive.

Chapter 36

Chris could hear voices, incessant voices telling him to wake up, but he knew to do so would bring him only pain. He didn't want to go back to that. Didn't want to face the betrayal by the one man he thought he could trust. ‘Why, Vin, I thought we were friends. I thought you were going to watch my back. Hurts so much,' he thought.

"Come on, Stud, You don't need to be sleeping no more."

‘Buck, please don't do this. I c...can't come back. Can't do it without Vin,' the blond thought.

"He's crying, Doc," Wilmington said as he saw the moisture next to his friend eyes.

"Chris, it's Stacey Midland. Can you hear me?"

‘Doc, I d...don't want to. Please leave me alone.'

"Chris, you really need to open your eyes."

‘Too much pain. Don't want to come back,' he grimaced as he felt the tube invading his throat and knew he was losing the battle to stay away from the pain.

Slowly, unwillingly, his eyes opened. The first face he saw was the moustached face of his oldest friend. ‘Buck, tell them to let me be, c...can't go t...through any more,' he thought.

"Hey, Stud, bout time you rejoined the world of the living," Wilmington grinned at the man.

"Chris, we're going to remove the ventilator now," Midland explained as she gazed into the confused eyes. "Don't fight it, Ok?"

Larabee was in a world of misery. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want the memories of why he was here to return but he knew they would. He knew these people would not let him sink back into the peaceful oblivion he'd been floating in. There was so much pain in his awakening body but he knew he could face that.

What he couldn't face was the loss of his friendship with a longhaired Texan. Tears filled his eyes as he felt the two doctors removing the ventilator tube.

"Almost done, Chris," Parker said as he pulled the tube the last few inches from the patient's mouth.

Chris felt the tube leave his sore throat and he breathed deeply, crying out in a hoarse whisper as his ribs protested.

Midland knew the two milligrams of morphine wasn't enough to hold back the pain the injured man was feeling. She took the morphine syringe she'd prepared earlier and placed it into the IV.

The blond's eyes grew panicked as memories returned along with the pain. Memories of the torture inflicted on his body. He lifted his head in an effort to look at his hands. Terror shot through him as he saw the bandages completely enveloping them. "No," he cried weakly as he was reminded of a friend who'd once lost a hand.

The stumps had been bandaged in much the same way as his hands were now. "P...please no," his tortured raspy voice came out pitifully weak.

Wilmington cringed and moved forward. Trying once again to get his friend's attention.

Midland placed her hand gently on the blond's forehead and eased him back onto the bed. "It's alright, Chris. I know you're hurting right now but let the medications work and they'll help you sleep."

"D...don't w...want to s...sleep. W...Whelan b...bad d...dreams," Larabee whispered as if the mere mention of the man would bring him back.

"Whelan's dead, Chris, he won't bother you anymore," Wilmington told him.

"N...never be g...gone. Gonna p...punish me. V...Vin's paying him, B...Buck. Vin hates me," he cried as he started thrashing on the bed. "W...why'd he d...do it?

Oh, God, Vin, why?" his raspy voice was strong with emotion as he struggled to get away from the living nightmare.

"Vin's not the one who hurt you, Stud. Now you gotta calm down and take it easy," Wilmington soothed.

"N...no, have to d...die," his body became taut as he struggled to get away from Buck's voice. "K...killed them, Buck. I k...killed Sarah and Adam. Oh, God why d...did I do it?" he cried as visions of the nightmare fire that claimed his family plagued his mind.

"No, Chris, you didn't kill Sarah and Adam. You were out of town with me, remember?"

Larabee's pain filled green eyes drilled into his friends. "D...don't lie to me, Buck, Dammit just let me go. L...let me die. V...Vin says I h...have to die. Why, Vin, why are y...you doing this to me?"

Tears filled Wilmington's eyes as he listened to the anguish cries of his friend as they escaped his tortured throat.

"Stacey, give him five milligrams of Haldol. This isn't doing him any good and we need to get him calmed down," Parker ordered as he watched another spasm rip through the tortured man's body.

Stacey Midland placed a second syringe into the IV and deployed the contents. She watched her patient as his body finally relaxed and his eyes closed. "This is going to take a lot of time and care, Buck," she explained as she watched the angry moustached man.

"This should never have happened, Doc," Wilmington hissed as he struggled with the emotional trauma of seeing his oldest friend's injuries.

Chapter 37

"Hello, Vin."

Tanner licked dry lips and slowly opened his eyes. The medications he was being given made it impossible for him to think clearly. He struggled to focus on the young man seated next to the bed, "JD?"

"How are you feeling?"

"Pretty lousy right now, Kid. How's Chris doing?"

"He's still about the same as the last time you asked," Dunne told him. "The docs are worried about his fingers..."

"JD!" Dunne looked up into the stern face of Josiah Sanchez.

"What?"

"Brother Vin doesn't need to hear that right now," Sanchez said angrily.

"Josiah, what are you guys keeping from me?" Tanner snapped as he tried to sit up in the bed. The pain in his chest and shoulder made him gasp and he sank back to the comfort of the pillows.

"We're not keeping anything from you, Vin. We just didn't see the point in telling you about Chris's fingers until we knew something definite."

"Tell me now, Josiah," Tanner hissed through clenched teeth.

"Alright, Brother. JD, go get something to eat," Sanchez ordered as he sat in a chair next to the sharpshooter's bed. He heard the door open and close and bowed his head in silent prayer.

"Josiah?"

"Give me a second, Vin," Sanchez whispered. Finally he opened his eyes and looked at the younger man. "We didn't tell you because you have enough to worry about."

"Tell me what, Josiah?"

"You know Chris's fingers and hands are in bad shape?" At Tanner's nod he continued, "A couple of fingers on both hands have become infected and the doctors are going to remove the nails today. It's a very painful process but they'll put Chris out for it."

"Fuck, Josiah, why didn't you let me kill the bastard while I had the chance?" Tanner's soft voice did little to hide the anger he felt.

"If I thought it would've done any good I would have done it myself, Brother. Gary is a sick man and he will do time for what he's done to you and Chris."

"Why did he take it out on Chris, Josiah? Why didn't he come after me? I was the one who broke my promise. Chris had nothing to do with it. Hell, Chris didn't even know him," Tanner cried angrily.

"I can't answer those questions, Vin. I can only tell you it isn't your fault. None of this is your fault."

"I wish I could believe you, Josiah, but I keep seeing Chris in that chair. I keep seeing the pain on his face. I keep hearing him cry out and ask me why I was doing this to him," the injured man's eyes were glazed as he pictured the tortured body of his friend.

"Vin, you have to remember what Whelan was doing to him. When Chris starts to heal he'll know it wasn't you," Sanchez told him.

"You didn't see his eyes that day, Josiah. They were so full of pain but they were also full of sorrow. He really thought I was causing the pain."

"Give him time, Vin. Deep down Brother Chris knows you had nothing to do with it."

"Nathan said they were going to let him wake up. Did they?"

"He was awake for a little while yesterday."

"What about the ventilator?"

"That's gone as well."

"I want to go see him, Josiah. I need to go see him," Tanner pleaded softly.

"I'll check with the doctors, Vin. If they say it's ok then I'll bring you up there."

Tanner smiled at the ex-preacher, "Thanks, Josiah."

Chapter 38

"Chris."

Larabee could hear the voices again and knew they wouldn't leave him alone. He briefly wondered why he hurt so much, why his body wouldn't respond to his orders to stay asleep. "L...leave me a...alone," he begged as he tried to turn away from the voices.

"I need you to look at me, Chris. Come on now open your eyes and look at me."

"I d...don't w...want to," he told her, keeping his eyes closed against the painful white glare of the overhead lights.

"If you open your eyes for a few minutes we won't bother you anymore for a while."

The injured man knew Dr. Stacey Midland and knew there would be no denying her. She'd continue to badger him until he did as she told him to. Slowly he forced his eyes open and he looked into her worried face. "Don't w...want to do t...this a...anymore. H...hurts to m...much," he whimpered. "P...please c...can't you just l...leave me alone?" he begged

"Why do you want to be alone, Chris?" Midland asked, worried about the lack of fight in the usually strong man.

"I j...just w...want to be a...alone. D...die by m...myself. D...don't d...deserve to h...have f...friends."

"Chris, you do have friends and they're all worried about you. They want to help you get better," Midland told him as she began unwrapping the bandages from his hands.

"D...don't, please, h...hurts."

Midland steeled herself against the cries issuing from the blonde's mouth as she examined the swollen fingers. "Jillian, put in a call to Dr. Parker. Ask him to come up right away," she ordered.

"Yes, Doctor," the petite, red haired nurse said as she pushed the button on the wall monitor.

"Doctor?"

Midland turned to the door and looked into the worried eyes of Ezra Standish. "Ezra, you'll have to come back later," she told him.

"What's wrong?"

"I'll speak with all of you later. Right now I need you to leave," she explained as the nurse rejoined her by the bed.

"I'll be right outside the door," Standish informed her.

"That's fine," Midland said as she placed the injured limb in the peroxide solution, ignoring the small whimpering cries issuing from the injured man's throat. She picked up the opposite hand and did the same to that one, shaking her head at the swollen, misshapen fingers.

"What's wrong, Stacey?" Parker asked as he hurried into the room.

"I don't think we have a choice now," she said as she indicated the hands resting in the solution.

Parker studied the hands and his eyes met the glazed green ones of the patient. "Chris, I know you're in pain right now but we have to do a few more things to make you comfortable. Ok?"

Larabee shook his head. "N...no. J...just leave me a...alone," the blond told them weakly.

"You don't mean that, Chris, now you just relax. We'll give you something to make you sleep and also something for the pain," Parker explained.

"Propofol IV?"

"Yes, Stacey."

Sanchez wheeled the chair up to the door in ICU, "Looks like the doctors are in there with him right now, Vin."

"Ask them if I can come in," Tanner said.

"Ah, Mr. Tanner, good to see you out of bed," Standish observed as he walked up to the two newcomers.

"What are they doing to him?" the sharpshooter asked as he watched the doctors examine his friend's hands.

"I believe they are going to extract a couple of Mr. Larabee's finger nails," Standish explained.

"Chris! Oh, God, why?"

"Now, Vin, we all knew this might happen. Dr. Parker mentioned that a couple of the nails were becoming infected and might have to be removed," Sanchez said as he knelt beside the injured man.

"I'm sorry, Chris. I shoulda been able to stop him. Shoulda been there for you, Chris," Tanner cried painfully.

‘Vin,' Larabee thought as he listened to the familiar voice calling his name. His mind was suddenly assaulted by the words Whelan told him. Words he didn't want to believe but they were a constant reminder of the betrayal he felt. A betrayal by the man he considered his best friend. A betrayal that cut deeper than any knife ever could. Shaking his head he began to tremble as he lifted his head from the pillow. His green eyes caught and held the blue eyes of the man he sought and a mournful scream split his lips. "Why, Vin? Why are you doing this to me?" He struggled to get away from the hands touching him. Moving as far up in the bed as possible in order to escape the nightmare pain they caused. "Please, Vin, no m...more," he pleaded as he felt hands touch his body and ease him back on the bed.

"It wasn't me, Chris. I d...didn't, I couldn't hurt you like this," Tanner's heart was heavy as he listened to his friend's pain filled voice. The cries tore into him and he tried to stand up.

"Easy, Brother, you just stay where you are," Sanchez ordered, gently pressing the man back into the chair.

"He thinks I did this to him, Josiah. He can't even look at me."

"Chris is just confused right now, Vin. You have to remember that," Sanchez soothed.

"You know how tired I am of hearing that, Josiah? Don't you think I know he's confused? It doesn't change anything. How would you feel if your best friend thought you were the cause of all his misery? You know what's worse, Josiah?" the younger man asked, tears glittering in his eyes. "What's worse is that he's right and I can't do anything to help him. I'm sorry, Chris."

"P...please, let me go!" Larabee's voice grew weaker as his strength ebbed. His eyes filled with pain as he pleaded for the hands to release him. His body was wracked with pain as he continued to struggle to get away. A vision of Vin Tanner giving a silent order to continue the torment of his body ran through his mind. Now it was all starting again and once more Vin Tanner was there to watch his torment. "D...don't punish me no m...more, Vin, please, just let me go. L...let me d...die.

Sarah, I need you."

Stacey Midland felt tears in her eyes as she listened to the anguished cries of The Firm's leader. She'd never heard him plead the way he was right now. She placed the Propofol into the IV and waited for it to take affect. She'd known Sarah Larabee and had even been there at the birth of Adam Larabee. She thought they'd lost

Chris Larabee when his wife and son were murdered but with the help of Vin Tanner he'd made it through. She wondered how he'd make it through this time if he didn't let the younger man help him.

"Sarah, I'm s...sorry," Larabee's whisper barely reached the people waiting outside the door but it devastated the man in the wheel chair.

"It's ok, Brother, let it out," Sanchez said as he watched the younger man fight to control his emotions.

"Not ok, Josiah. It may never be ok again," Tanner hissed.

"Why don't I take you back to your room, Vin?"

"No, I'll stay here, Josiah."

"Alright, Vin, you just tell me when you get tired," Sanchez told him.

"I will," the sharpshooter said as he continued to watch what was happening in the room.

"He's out," Midland said as she placed an oxygen mask over the pale face.

Midland and Parker scrubbed their hands before turning their attention to the blond patient.

"Jillian, move that table over here," Parker ordered as he took Larabee's right hand out of the peroxide solution, carefully handling the cast that surrounded the wrist.

He took a small pair of surgical scissors and slowly removed the nails on the injured digits. When he finished with the right hand, Midland took over and placed saline soaked gauze, then dry dressings over the injured limb.

Josiah watched the scene in the ICU room but kept his eyes on his charge. Vin Tanner was getting paler by the minute as he watched the two doctors methodically working on the form lying quietly in the bed.

"I think it's time to get you back to your room, Brother," Sanchez said.

"Not yet, Josiah," the younger man shook his head in defiance. "I want to hear what the doctors have to say."

"I do believe the doctors are finished with Mr. Larabee," Standish observed as the two doctors turned away from the patient and walked towards the door.

Vin could see the nurse placing something in his friend's IV and wondered how long he'd be kept out this time.

"You should be in bed, Vin?" Midland told him as she noticed the paleness of his face.

"Dr. Marshall said I could come see Chris. How is he Doc?"

"We gave him something to make him sleep while we worked on his hands. He'll be out for some time, Vin."

"Stacey, I have to go. Contact me if anything changes."

"Sure, Tom, thanks," she assured him and turned back to Tanner. "You won't be able to see him today, Vin, so you might as well go back to your room and get some rest."

"I'll take him back, Doc," Sanchez told her.

"I'll let you know when he's ready for visitors," she told them as Sanchez wheeled the still protesting man away from the room.

Midland turned back to the room and stepped up to the bed. "For yours and Vin's sake I hope you can get past all this," she said softly.

Chapter 39

‘Vin says it's time to die, Chris, time to die, time to die, time to die,' the words echoed over and over in his mind as he watched Whelan lift the gun and point it in his direction. "T...time to die."

"Chris, come on now. It's just a dream," Jackson said as he listened to the weak voice cry out in his sleep. "It's not real. Come on open your eyes and you'll see."

"Nathan?"

The voice sounded defeated to the medic's ears. "Yeah, Chris it's me. You've been sleeping long enough. It's time to wake up now, you hear?"

Green eyes opened and glanced around the room. Recognition dawned but did little to alleviate the pain the blond felt. He panicked as he looked into the tired face above him. "D...don't w...want to be here," he whispered hoarsely, the sound muffled under the oxygen mask.

"Where do you want to be, Chris?"

"Wanna be w...with Sarah and Adam, but he says I'm not a...allowed," Larabee said softly, coughing against the dryness of his throat.

"Here, Mr. Larabee, have some ice chips," Becky, a dark haired, brown eyed nurse suggested.

"D...don't want n...none," the blond told her, turning away from the offering.

"Now, Chris, this'll help your throat," Becky told him, lifting the oxygen mask away from his face.

"I said I don't w...want none. Just l...leave me alone."

"Chris, you really need to take some of this. It'll help your throat," Jackson tried to make his friend look at him.

"No! J...just go a...away and leave me alone."

Jackson's heart twisted as he listened to the defeated voice from the man he'd admired for his strength and courage in any situation. He took in the dark circles around his eyes and the sunken cheeks. "Chris, we're not gonna leave you alone. We're all gonna be here for you so you might as well give up that idea right now."

"Don't n...need any of you. J...just go away."

Jackson met Becky's eyes and he saw his concern mirrored there. "We'll leave you alone if you just take some ice chips."

"No! Nathan, I d...don't want any. Just please leave me be," Larabee shouted and was suddenly convulsed by spasms again. His body twisted upwards on the bed and he cried out. "M...make it s...stop! Oh, God, Nathan, m...make it s...stop!"

Becky stepped to the door and placed a call for either Midland or Parker to come to the room. She stepped back to the bed and checked the Morphine infusion pump. She knew from the agony on his face as his body twisted on the bed that he needed something more. She placed her hand on his forehead and tried to instil a sense of calmness in her patient.

"What's wrong, Becky?" Midland asked as she hurried into the room.

"I tried to get him to take some ice chips but he refused. He became upset and the spasms started again."

"What set him off?" Stacey asked as she started examining her patient.

"He was talking about Sarah and Adam and how he wanted to be with them," Jackson explained.

"Damn, that's not good," she loaded a syringe with morphine and inserted it into the IV line. "Becky, I'm making a note for him to be given five mgs Haldol every six hours," she said as she loaded a second syringe and inserted it into the same juncture.

Finally the convulsions began to recede and the sweat soaked blond lay back against the pillow, his breathing sounded painful and harsh. "L...let it be o...over. J...just l...leave me alone. P...please, Nathan, I c...can't do t...this any m...more," he pleaded, closing his eyes and letting the tears role freely down his cheeks.

"What's happening, Stacey," Parker asked as he rushed into the room and stepped up to the bed.

"It's what we talked about, Tom. He's agitated and definitely depressed. I've started him on Haldol but I think we're going to need the anti depressant as well," she informed him.

"Alright. Let's get him started on Zoloft," he said, writing the new instructions on the chart. "Chris," he said touching the injured man's shoulder. "Come on, Chris, open your eyes."

"P...please j...just leave me a...alone," the weak voice begged.

"That's not going to happen, Chris," Midland said as she adjusted the flow of the IV. "You might as well stop asking. Now I'm going to raise your head a little and I want you to take some medication. It's going to help you feel better," she told him as Becky pressed the button, raising Larabee's head slightly.

"No! I d...don't want it," the blond cried, turning away from the people standing by his bed.

"Now, Chris, you're not going to get better if you don't cooperate," Jackson's worried voice was strong as he spoke to his friend.

"D...don't m...matter. Just w...want to s...see Sarah and Adam."

"That's not gonna happen for a long time, Chris," Midland said as she swiped at a stray lock of unruly blond hair.

Larabee closed his eyes and tried to ignore the people in the room. "N...not so l...long. V...Vin's gonna h...help me," he cried as his tortured mind sought to escape the images of Vin Tanner holding a nail gun in one hand and a cattle prod in the other.

"Vin wants you to get better, Chris," Jackson told him.

"No he doesn't! W...wants Whelan. Oh God, n...not a...again," he cried as another spasm wracked his body.

Four sets of hands held him down as his body arched upwards. He gasped in pain as stitches tore and broken ribs throbbed incessantly. Finally his body dropped to the bed and he lay gasping for breath.

"Becky, get me 50 mgs of Zoloft," Parker ordered.

"Yes, Doctor."

Parker replaced the oxygen mask over the injured man's troubled face. He could tell they were in for a long fight to get this patient turned around. "Stacey, have you requested a Psych consult?"

"I have. Susan James will be meeting with me this afternoon to talk about Chris and what he's been through."

"Have you got the results of the test we did yesterday?"

"The wound on his right abdomen shows a mild infection."

"Thank God for that. What about the drug that was used?"

"It's just about out of his system. The ultra sound is negative as well." She told him.

"We'll just have to keep it cleaned and watch it closely."

"Here's the Zoloft, Dr. Parker," Becky said as she passed the man a small cup with a pill inside.

"Thank you, Becky," Parker turned back to his patient. "Chris, I have something for you to take," he said.

"G...go way," the blond gasped.

Nathan stood back to let the doctors have more room to work with his friend. He felt tears well up in his eyes at the sight of the lost look on Larabee's face. ‘Come on, Chris, you gotta fight. Don't let Whelan and Wilson win ‘cause if they do then Vin Tanner's lost as well,' he thought.

"We're not going away. Chris," Midland said as she leaned in over the blonde's body. "So you might as well give in and take it."

"No," his voice was low but firm as he closed his eyes and turned away.

"Becky, until Chris is more cooperative you can crush his oral medications and give them down his Nasogastric tube"

Chris Larabee heard what Parker wanted the nurse to do but he didn't care. He didn't want to fight through the agony his body had become. He didn't want to face his friends. He didn't want to see the look on Vin's face when the younger man killed him. He knew he was going to die by the younger man's hands, it was only a matter of time. He didn't want to give them a chance to torture him anymore. He was tired, a deep, bone-weary type of tiredness that wouldn't let him go. Keeping his eyes closed he fought the hands that turned his head. He fought the hands that held him but to no avail.

His fear filled eyes opened to see a woman putting something into the tube inserted in his left nostril. Once again he was transported back to the warehouse where

Whelan stood holding his instruments of torture. "NO!" he screamed and struggled against the doctors holding him. "I c...can't. Oh G...God it h...hurts."

Jackson couldn't fight the tears any longer. His eyes overflowed and he reached for a box of tissue on the nightstand.

"No!, Vin, please s...stop him. H...he's h...hurting my h...hands," Larabee cried, his head whipping back and forth in agony. "S...Sarah, I w...wanna come h...home.

W...wanna be w...with you and Adam. P...please let me go," Larabee cried weakly, fighting against the intrusive memories.

"This isn't helping, Tom," Midland said.

"How long since he had something for pain?" Parker asked.

"About an hour ago. I gave him Morphine just before you got here," Midland explained as she tried to sooth the trembling form on the bed.

"The Haldol was given at the same time?"

"Yes," Midland answered, breathing a little easier as the blond showed no signs of calming down.

"Let's repeat the Haldol. We need to get him calmed down before he does himself more harm," Parker ordered and watched as Midland placed a filled syringe into the IV. They watched the injured man as the medication finally took hold.

"S...Sarah," the name was whispered longingly as Chris Larabee gave in to the combined effects of exhaustion, pain, and medication.

"He's sleeping, Nathan," Midland assured the medic as she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Thank God," Jackson said, trying, unsuccessfully to rid his mind of the blond's' painful cries.

"Becky, page me if he wakes and needs anything," Midland ordered.

"Yes, Doctor."

"Stacey, what time is your psych consult with Susan?"

"Four o'clock."

"Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all, Tom. Actually, it may not be a bad idea for you to join us as well, Nathan. You know Chris more than we do. Will you come?"

"Yes, ma'am, I'll be there," Jackson answered.

Chapter 40

"How are you feeling, Vin?" Stacey Midland asked as she stepped into the room. Ezra Standish and JD Dunne sat in chairs next to the patient's bed.

"I'm fine, Doc. How's Chris?"

"He's resting right now, Vin."

"Will he be alright?" Dunne asked.

"It's too soon to tell right now, JD. Chris has a long way to go before he gets out of here. We'll be moving him out of ICU tomorrow," Midland explained.

"I want him in here with me," Tanner whispered softly.

"I don't think that's a wise idea right now, Vin."

"Why?"

"Vin, Chris is struggling with what happened to him. He's not thinking clearly right now," the doctor told him as she placed a soothing hand on his shoulder.

"He still blames me, doesn't he?"

"He doesn't really know what to think, Vin. He's weak and he's fighting against the treatments we're giving him. Do you remember Susan James?"

Tanner looked at the doctor who'd seen them through a lot of hard times. His eyes met hers as he answered softly. "She's the one who helped Chris after Sarah and

Adam died."

"That's right. I have a meeting with her in half an hour. We're going to discuss the next course of action for Chris' treatments."

"Can I be there?"

"That not possible right now, Vin. I need you to rest and let yourself heal. The faster we get you better the faster you can help us with Chris," Midland said. "Don't worry, Vin, things will get better for both you and Chris."

"Doctor Midland is correct, Mr. Tanner. Mr. Larabee will need you as soon as he realizes it wasn't you behind the atrocities inflicted on his person."

"Quit it, Ez, my head's pounding as it is without listening to your ten dollar words," Tanner groaned as he closed his eyes.

"I have to go meet with Susan. You guys let Vin get some rest. Nathan will be sitting in on the meeting with us and he'll let you know what's been decided."

"Thanks, Doc," Tanner said as she left the room. As the door closed he swung his legs over the side and tried to stand.

"Vin, I'll order you sedated if you try to get out of that bed again," Midland said as she stuck her head back through the door.

"You're busted, Vin," Dunne quipped as the doctor once more left the room.

"It appears Dr. Midland has your number, Mr. Tanner," Standish laughed as the younger man rested back against the pillows.

"Shut up, Ez," the sharpshooter spat, closing his eyes as his headache intensified.

Chapter 41

"Stacey, it's good to see you again. I just wish it was under better circumstances," Susan James said as she took the seat across from Midland.

"Susan, do you remember Nathan Jackson?"

"I do. How are you Mr. Jackson?" she asked.

Jackson looked at the grey haired woman sitting to his right. "I'm fine, Dr. James," he answered.

The door to Midland's office opened and the final member of the meeting entered the room. "Good to see you again, Susan," he said as he took the seat on

Jackson's left.

"Coffee?" Midland's asked.

"Maybe later," James answered. "I'd like to get right down to business here so I can get started on these two cases."

"Alright, Susan," Midland said. "Did you get the files I sent you?"

"Yes, I did. I'd like you to tell me what kind of treatments you've started on Chris Larabee's physical injuries."

"Tom, would you field this question?"

"Sure, Stacey," Parker answered. "As you probably read Chris Larabee was brought in suffering major traumas to his body. His hands and fingers are a mess right now due to injuries caused by a nail gun as well as bamboo shoots driven under his fingernails. We've had to remove the thumb and index fingernails from both hands. He's got a laceration on his right side that's showing signs of infection. The ultra sound and swab of the area are negative but we're keeping a close watch on it. His right wrist is broken. He's also got a laceration on his left arm, and his right calf, both are healing nicely. His right knee is also beginning to heal. The wounds on his neck, wrists, and ankles were caused by manacles and are being cleaned with saline. The burns covering his chest, arms and legs were caused by a cattle prod and once more we're treating them with normal saline dressings. There's also the problem of broken ribs," Parker explained.

"What about the drugs that were used?" James asked as she continued to take short hand notes.

"We thought we'd have to resort to dialysis for a while there. His kidney function was at a minimum, most of the time his urine output was at or below thirty ccs per hour and his Creatinine level was above normal. The last blood tests showed no trace of the drugs left in his system. We're continuing to monitor his kidney function,"

Midland explained.

Susan James knew her job well. She'd been in this field for over twenty years and prided herself on being able to control her emotions and keep patients at a distance. She remembered Chris Larabee from the visits she'd had with him after his wife and son's deaths. His injuries, both physical and mental, had nearly been his downfall. He'd been able to pull himself out of the depression he'd been in because of the help provided by his friends. She finished writing the details the doctors were supplying. Finally she raised her eyes from the chart and asked. "What about his mental state?"

Midland looked down at the chart before her. "It's not good, Susan. He's depressed and fighting us at every turn. We've had to resort to putting his oral medications down the Nasogastric tube."

"That's not a good sign. I see you've started him on Haldol and Zoloft. How is he responding to those medications?"

"We've had him on the Haldol for more than twenty four hours. The usual dosage doesn't help much so I've ordered that it be given when he becomes really agitated and needs something extra. The Zoloft was started this morning so we won't be seeing any effects from that for a while yet. He's also on a morphine drip and is being given a higher dose as needed when we change the bandages."

"I've been reading Vin Tanner's chart as well. How's he coping with what's happened to his friend?" Susan asked.

"He's upset," Jackson answered. "He's blaming himself for what happened to Chris."

"Because Gary Wilcox was his friend at one time?"

"Yes, Ma'am. Wilcox hired Whelan to torture Chris. He sent the video tapes to our office and made sure we knew what was going on," the medic explained, his mouth dry as he thought of the scene they'd come upon at the abandoned warehouse. "We had to listen to Chris's screams as he the nails were driven into his hands and his knee. God the cries when Whelan used the cattle prod and the... the Bamboo..." Jackson couldn't continue as the too recent memories played back in his mind.

"Easy, Nathan," Midland said.

"Stacey," James said as she looked at the trembling man on her left. "I think it may be a good idea to schedule appointments for each member of Larabee's team."

"Nathan, will you talk to the others and make appointments with Susan?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Jackson said, finally lifting his eyes and meeting those of the others in the room. "Chris will be alright, won't he?"

"We're going to do all we can to insure that he is," James assured him. "Stacey, arrange for me to see Mr. Tanner as soon as I've finished with Mr. Larabee."

"I thought you'd say that," Midland said. "I've arranged for you to see them both as soon as we're finished here."

"Perfect. A couple of more questions and then we'll go see Mr. Larabee. First off is he able to drink anything?"

"We don't know if he's able to or not. He simply refuses to even try." Parker told her.

"How long before he's moved out of ICU?"

"Tomorrow at the earliest," Midland answered.

"I think it would be a wise idea to have Mr. Larabee assigned a primary care nurse. From what you've said and what I read in his chart we may need to put him on suicide watch as well."

Jackson's eyes opened wide as he heard Susan's last statement. "Chris, suicide, no way!" he denied sharply.

"Mr. Jackson, as much as I admire your confidence in your friend I need you to keep an open mind here. You have to remember he's been through a lot. The chart says not only was he tortured physically but that Whelan was continually giving him some kind of drug that left him open to suggestions. Isn't it true that Whelan was telling Mr. Larabee that he was responsible for murdering his own family?"

"Yes it was. B...but."

"No buts, Mr. Jackson. Anyone who's been through what Mr. Larabee has been through would be in need of our help. Now do you think you could come with me while I talk to your friend?"

Jackson turned towards her. "I'll do anything you need me too," he said as his eyes misted with tears.

"I'll arrange for a primary care nurse immediately," Midland told James.

"It might not be a bad idea to have the same nurse assigned to Mr. Tanner. Will they be on the same floor?"

"It can be arranged," Midland told her.

"Good, I guess I'm ready to see Mr. Larabee," James said as she closed the charts and stood up.

"This way," Midland told her.

Chapter 42

Josiah placed his hand on the blond's' forehead. He watched as the eyelids fluttered but didn't open. He spoke softly, quoting one of his favorite bible passages, "Be strong and of good courage, do not be afraid of them: for the lord your God. He is the one who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you," he said, his eyes closed against the tears that filled them.

"Deuteronomy 31:6."

Sanchez looked up at the young nurse who was busy checking her patient's vitals. "That's correct. You know the bible well."

"My parents made sure we attended Sunday school and church every week, Mr. Sanchez. That was one of my father's favorite quotes."

"Mine too," Sanchez told her as he grew silent once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"There are a couple of things I want you to do when we go into Mr. Larabee's room, Mr. Jackson."

"Please call me Nathan," Jackson suggested.

"Nathan it is. Now when we go in there I'm going to ask him a few questions. I'll need you to stay quiet for a few minutes. I want to see his reactions to the things I ask him. When I'm finished my questions I want you to mention Vin Tanner."

"I can tell you what'll happen if you mention Vin," Jackson said worriedly.

"I know you can, Nathan. Actually it's mentioned in here but I need to gauge just how much the name effects him. Do you understand?"

"I think so," Jackson cringed at the thought of what they were about to put his friend through.

"Stacey, Tom, you two can watch as well but please don't say anything till we're done."

"Alright, Susan," Midland and Parker agreed.

"Let's do this," James said as she walked into the brightly lit room. She recognized the older man sitting at the blond's' bedside. "Mr. Sanchez, do you think you could excuse us for a little while?"

"Of course, Dr. James," Sanchez answered as he noticed Nathan Jackson entering the room with her. He stood up to leave but noticed a pair of terrified green eyes looking at him. "It's ok, Chris. It's just Dr. James and Nathan. I'll be right outside the door if you need me."

Larabee's eyes shot open as soon as he'd heard the voice of the female psychiatrist. He had no intention of talking to anyone. He didn't want to see her. He knew she'd lie to him the same way she'd lied after Sarah and Adam died. There was no way he would allow her to assuage his guilt this time. He'd murdered his wife and son and he deserved whatever Vin and Whelan planned for him. Shutting his eyes tightly he turned away from the two people who entered his room.

"Good morning, Chris. I can call you Chris can't I?" James asked. She wasn't surprised when there was no answer forthcoming. " Well if you won't answer me I guess I'll just have to call you Chris. You can tell me to stop whenever you want," she advised him.

The blond ignored the woman, keeping his head turned away and his eyes closed tightly. He didn't want this. He didn't want anyone trying to ease his conscience.

He knew he deserved to die for what he did. It was just a matter of waiting for Whelan and Vin Tanner to do it.

Susan James stood to the side and watched the patient. She could tell he was in pain as she watched the grimace form on his pale face. She watched as the nurse prepared his oral medication, glad that she'd have the chance to observe his reaction to being forced to take something he didn't want.

Larabee felt the nurse at the NG tube and tried to turn away. "No," his muffled cry sounded weak as she held his head and injected the Zoloft into the Nasogastric tube. "D...don't want it," he hissed sharply.

"What don't you want, Chris?" James asked.

The blond closed his eyes, refusing once again to meet the female psychiatrist's gaze. She made a few notations on his chart and then signaled for Nathan to speak.

"Hey, Chris, how are you doing today?"

Larabee kept his eyes closed as he answered, "Be b...better if all of y...you w...would just l...leave me a...alone," he told the medic.

Jackson watched James write a small note in the chart. Breathing deeply he asked, "Are you ready to see Vin?"

The reaction was immediate and violent as Larabee tried to move away from the sound of the medic's voice. He seemed to shrink under the blankets and up into the corner of the bed. "No! P...please not yet. C...can't do it y...yet," he screamed pitifully as his mind went back to the warehouse. "Oh, God, w...why, V...Vin, why.

S...stop..." he cried, tears of pain and frustration falling from his eyes. His body suddenly arched off the bed and Parker and Midland rushed into the room.

"Easy, Chris," Parker said as he watched Midland inject Haldol into the IV line.

"H...hurts to m...much. L...let me go. P...please, N...Nathan, I w...want to be w...with Sarah and Adam. P...please t...tell them," the blond gasped as he struggled to get away from the helping hands of his friend and doctors.

"We need you here with us, Chris. Come on now, fight this thing. Don't let them win," Jackson pleaded.

"N...no, Nathan, c...can't fight them. T...they've a...already won. T...hey took Sarah and Adam and now they've taken V...Vin. Oh, God, why? W...why'd he do it?" he gasped as his sweat soaked body dropped back on the bed. Tears beaded in his eyes and dropped onto his pillow as he fought the medication entering his system. Slowly he breathed the oxygen from the mask deep into his starved lungs. Once again he turned away from the doctors and his friends, closing his eyes and moaning against the onslaught of painful memories. "D...don't w...wanna f...fight any more," he said as he once more succumbed to sleep.

James indicated for the others to follow her out. She knew Larabee was in good hands as she watched the nurse once more checking his vitals.

"Let's talk before we go see Mr. Tanner," she said indicating the small conference lounge. "Nathan, I know this is hard on you but I'd like you to join us as well."

"I'll do anything I can to help them both," Jackson swore as the four people entered the room and closed the door.

"What do you think, Susan?" Midland asked as soon as they were seated with hot coffee in front of them.

"I think you were right to call me, Stacey. From what I was able to observe Chris is withdrawn and doesn't want to fight anymore. He has reactive depression and appears to be delusional. I know he's been through mental torture and sometimes patients who've been through that just give up on life. He lost his wife and son a little over two years ago and only made it through with the help of his friends, specifically Vin Tanner. Based on Chris's reaction to Mr. Tanner's name it's unlikely we'll be able to use him for a while. I recommend you continue to use Haldol and Zoloft to treat Mr. Larabee."

"Is that all?" Parker asked.

"No," Susan answered, looking specifically at Nathan Jackson. "I definitely recommend the suicide watch be put in effect immediately."

Jackson's hands shook as he picked up his coffee. He sipped the rich brew and slowly placed it back on the table. "You really think Chris could take his own life?" he asked softly.

"Right now I think it's highly likely. He's depressed and he's in a lot of pain. I listened closely to what he was saying in there. He's asking us to leave him alone and let him join Sarah and Adam."

"Would it be possible for us to watch him. I mean you're going to have a primary care nurse looking after him and Vin. Maybe we could take on some of that responsibility," Jackson suggested.

"Nathan, we've been through this before. Hospital policy on suicide watches is that we provide the ‘sitter'," Midland explained.

"Chris isn't gonna sit by and let you guys post a guard on him."

"There's only one other choice, Nathan. We'd have to commit him for assessment and he'd be locked in a room where he couldn't hurt himself. Which one do you think he'd prefer?"

"Neither. He'd prefer it if one of us stayed with him," Jackson reiterated.

"We'll talk about this later," James said. "Right now I want to talk about Mr. Tanner. Has he had any problems with depression?"

"I don't think he's depressed. Angry, confused, hurt? Yes. Depressed? No," Midland answered.

"That's good news, Stacey. What does Dr. Marshall say about his recovery?"

"David is very pleased with Vin. If he keeps going the way he is he'll be released in a couple of days."

"His physical wounds are healing then?"

"They are, Susan," Midland told her.

"I know you said there's no sign of depression but I remember Mr. Tanner holding his feelings inside when they visited me after Chris's family died. Is it possible he's doing the same thing now?"

"Vin always holds things inside. He's a very private person. The only one he opens up to is Chris," Jackson told her.

"It sounds like Chris Larabee and Vin Tanner have a lot more in common than just working for The Firm," James said.

"Yes, ma'am. From the moment they first met it was as if they found something they'd both been missing."

"They have a close relationship. When one is injured it's hard to get the other one to leave his side," Midland offered. "That's what makes this so hard on both of them. Chris is unwilling to accept help from Vin because of what Whelan did to him. Vin wants to be with his friend but that's something we can't allow right now."

"That's where the main problem arises. In order for these two men to heal we're going to have to get Chris to the point where he's able to face Vin Tanner. He needs time to realize that Vin had nothing to do with the hurt inflicted on him," James explained.

"Will time be enough this time?" Jackson asked seriously.

"Time and the help of his friends," James answered. "Now let's go see Mr. Tanner."

Vin lifted his head and tried to swing his legs over the edge of the bed. He groaned as the movement set off flares of pain in his chest and shoulder.

"Going somewhere, Vin?" Dunne asked.

"Need to use the washroom," Tanner explained, a tiny grin on his tired face.

"Oh," Dunne laughed as he stepped in to help his friend to his feet. Tanner held his IV pole with one hand and walked unsteadily towards the washroom. He felt JD walking closely behind him. "I'm fine, JD. I'll just be a minute," he assured his friend as he closed the door behind him.

JD returned to his chair and waited for Vin to open the door.

"Where's Vin?"

"Hi, Nate, he had to, ah you know," Dunne stammered, nodding his head towards the washroom.

"Is he alright?" Midland asked.

"I'm fine, Doc," Tanner answered as he stepped out of the brightly lit room.

"You don't look fine," Jackson observed as he helped the injured man back to bed.

"Said I was fine," Tanner told him as he laid back against the pillows, gasping for breath at the exertion.

"Sure you are, Mr. Tanner. I see you're still as stubborn as you were the last time we met."

The sharpshooter grinned as he noticed the older woman who'd accompanied Jackson and Midland. He also recognized the other doctor with them and figured he was the one looking after Larabee. "Stubborn is not always bad, Dr. James," he laughed weakly.

"It is when you do things you shouldn't be doing," Jackson said.

"How's Chris?" Tanner asked, ignoring his friend's comments.

"That's what we're here to talk about, Mr. Tanner," James answered.

"What's wrong?" Tanner was immediately on the alert, worry evident in his expressive eyes as he struggled to get out of bed.

"Stay where you are, Vin."

"I need to see Chris!" Tanner exclaimed.

"That's not possible right now, Mr. Tanner." James told him.

"Why the hell not?" Tanner asked angrily.

"Vin, you saw his reaction to you. Right now he can't face what happened to him," Midland explained.

"You mean he can't face me. He still thinks I had something to do with the misery Whelan put him through."

"It's only been a few days, Vin. Give Chris a chance and he'll realize he was wrong," Jackson assured the younger man.

"Will he, Nate? Maybe I deserve it. Maybe this is God's way of getting back at me for breaking my promise to Gary. Maybe Chris would be better off if I just up and left. Then he wouldn't have to face the person he thinks did this to him," Tanner's voice rose as the anger festered and made itself known.

Jackson watched James as she made notes on the second chart. He shook his head and turned back to the younger man. "You and I both know Chris will come back to us, Vin, and when he does he'll need you there to help put the pieces back together. He'll need your strength to hold him together. Think about what Chris has to face once he's out of here," Jackson said.

"I am thinking about that, Nate. Why do you think I want to leave? Maybe if Chris knows he doesn't have to see me he'll be able to face living," Tanner whispered.

"That's not what I'm talking about, Vin."

"What is it then?"

"Have the police been in to take your statement?"

"They were here last night."

"They haven't got Chris's statement yet but they keep asking the doctors when they can see him."

"Can't they just take our word for what happened? They got the tapes don't they?" Tanner asked angrily.

"They have the tapes, Vin, but only Chris can place Wilcox at the scene. The police will need his statement to charge Gary with those crimes."

"What about my statement?"

"Wilcox claims that you broke into his office and threatened him. He says he was just defending himself," Jackson explained.

"That son of a bitch is not going to get a way with this!"

"Then you'll be sticking around?" James asked, pleased with the way Jackson had handled the younger man.

"It appears I don't have a choice. I won't leave Chris to face Wilcox alone."

"There's always a choice, Mr. Tanner, I'm just glad you're making the right one," James told him.

"Now tell me about Chris. What else is happening to him?"

"He's getting out of ICU tomorrow," Midland answered.

"That's great," Dunne whooped excitedly from his chair.

"Is he alright to be out of ICU, Nate?" Tanner frowned.

"He'll be moved into a private room, Vin. You're both being assigned a primary care nurse. She'll play an integral part in both your recoveries."

Tanner kept his eyes on Jackson as the medic averted his gaze. "Nathan, what aren't they telling me?"

"If you promise not to get upset or angry I'll tell you the rest," James told him.

"What's there to get upset or angry about?" Tanner's voice was laced with sarcasm.

"Vin, if you want to hear this you have to calm down and let the doctors explain what's happening," Jackson said softly.

The sharpshooter knew just by listening to the medic's tone he wasn't gonna like what they were about to tell him. Pushing the controls on his bed he raised his head till he was able to see each face standing before him. The only one he was unable to get a read on was Susan James. "I'm listening," he said softly.

The psychiatrist stepped up to the bed and looked directly into the injured man's pale face. "It appears we'll be working together again, Mr. Tanner. Since that's the case do you mind if I call you Vin?"

"That's fine, Doc. Just tell me what's happening with Chris," Tanner ordered.

"Stacey will be assigning a nurse who will look after Chris as well as you. She'll help you both in your recoveries and she'll be willing to listen to your input on Chris.

She'll also attend any meetings between both sets of doctors. I will be meeting with her on a regular basis to see how you're both doing," James explained.

"You're still not telling me what I want to know. What else are you planning on doing with Chris?"

James placed her chart on the table beside the bed and looked the younger man directly in the eyes. "He's to be put on suicide watch," she warned him.

"What the hell do you mean? Nathan, what's she talking about? Chris would never think about suicide!" Tanner shouted.

"That's not true, Vin, and you know it," James said. "Think back to the time you found him in the burning warehouse. You told me he didn't want you to get him out of there. You said he begged you to leave him alone."

"But that's because he'd only just faced up to the fact that his family was murdered."

"Isn't that what's happening now? The only difference is now he's been programmed to believe he killed Sarah and Adam. Whelan had a vast array of illegal drugs at his disposal. Whatever he was using on Chris is no longer showing up in his blood tests but it's still affecting how he sees things. His reaction to your name is evidence of that. Chris feels he's alone now. More alone than he's ever been. It's going to take a lot for him to come back but after seeing the two of you work together the last time, I think we have a really good shot at it," James explained.

Tanner's face suddenly hardened as realization dawned on him. "Doesn't suicide watch involve a twenty four hour guard?"

"Yes, Vin, it does. Although the hospital prefers to call them sitters," Midland explained.

"Guard. Sitter. It all means the same thing and Chris won't like it," the sharpshooter told her.

"It really doesn't matter what Chris wants right now. What matters is we keep watching him until he's ready to face life again. He needs our help to get him through this whether he realizes it or not," James said.

Tanner's and Jackson's eyes met, both men realizing what this was going to do to a prideful man like Chris Larabee. Sadness filled both of them as they thought about the long road ahead and what they'd have to do to bring Chris home again.

"I wish he'd let me in," Tanner muttered, not realizing he was speaking aloud.

"He will, Vin. It may take a while but eventually he will," James assured him. "Now I've told you everything I can and I have a few things to check into. Stacey, Tom,

I'll meet with you tomorrow after Chris is settled in his new room."

"Thanks, Susan," Midland said as the woman left.

"I need to be going as well. See you in the morning, Stacey," Parker followed the psychiatrist out the door.

"Goodbye, Tom," Midland stepped closer to Tanner's bed. "How are you feeling, Vin?" she asked.

"Are you asking me how I'm feeling or how I feel about what you guys are planning to put my best friend through?"

"Both, I guess," Midland answered.

"I'm fine, Doc, but then again I'm not the one you're putting under guard. Wouldn't it be better to let one of the guys sit with him?"

"Nathan already suggested that, Vin, but you know hospital policy. We have to provide the sitter or else we're liable for anything that goes wrong," Midland explained.

"Damn, Larabee's gonna be mad as hell," Tanner told her.

"Maybe that's a good thing. It'd give Chris a reason to fight," Jackson said suddenly.

"I'm sorry, gentlemen, but there's nothing I can do about this. I've got a few things to finish up before I head home so I'll leave you alone. Vin, get some sleep and if you need something for pain just ask for it. Nathan, make sure he doesn't let it go too long."

"I will, Doc. Thanks," Jackson said. "Go to sleep, Vin," the medic ordered as he noticed Tanner's drooping lids.

"Not tired, Nate," the sharpshooter lied as his eyes closed. He tried to move on the bed but cried out as a sharp pain ripped through his chest and shoulder.

"Nathan," he gasped.

"Hang on, Vin," Jackson said as he grasped the younger man's hand. He used his free hand to push the button and call for the nurse. The call was answered immediately and he asked the nurse to bring the patient's pain medication.

"H...hurts, Nate," Tanner gasped.

"You let it go to long again, Vin," Jackson snapped as the nurse hurried into the room.

She took one look at the man and placed the needle into his IV. "That won't take long to ease the pain, Mr. Tanner."

"Thanks," the sharpshooter said weakly.

"Next time don't wait so long," she advised, checking his vitals before leaving the room.

"That's sound advice, Vin," Jackson sat heavily into a chair and waited for the younger man to drift off to sleep. He smiled at JD Dunne reassuringly as he rubbed his own tired eyes.

Chapter 43

"Good morning, Chris," Midland greeted as she entered the ICU room.

Larabee opened his eyes and looked at the doctor. He noticed a woman standing behind her but did nothing to acknowledge her presence. He closed his eyes and turned his head in the opposite direction.

"I want you to meet someone," Midland told him. When he still refused to look at either of them she went on in soft tones. "Don't tell me you're still not talking today, Chris? Carol is here to help you. She's going to be helping us find the best course of treatments for you. Come on now. Open your eyes and look at us."

Susan James watched from the door, observing the blond's reactions from a distance. She hoped he'd be willing to talk to Midland but was saddened to see he was still unwilling to accept anyone's help. ‘If only Whelan hadn't used Vin Tanner as his scapegoat,' she thought sadly.

"Chris, we'll be moving you to a new room shortly. Do you feel like eating something?"

"No," Larabee mumbled.

"Chris, if you don't start eating and drinking we're going to have to put it down the Nasogastric tube the same way we've been giving you your oral medications,'

Midland explained.

Larabee's eyes flashed open and he glared at the two women before him. "C...can't you p...people just l...leave me the hell a...alone," he cried.

"No," Midland answered.

"Then do your d...damndest. I d...don't care a...anymore," he told her as he once more turned away.

"Well, Carol, he said to do our damndest. What do you think we should do?" Midland asked.

Carol Locke had been a primary care nurse for over ten years. She'd seen stubborn patients and she'd dealt with many injuries. Some of those injuries were worse than the ones on the man before her but none had been so cruelly inflicted. She'd been in a meeting with Midland, James and Parker for most of the morning.

Between them they'd decided on a course of treatment and they were about to implement it. "When you're ready Chris, we'll let you decide what you want. For now though, you're going to have to put up with us because we're not ready to give up on you just yet."

"Angie," Midland called to the young blond haired nurse looking after Larabee.

"Yes, Doctor."

"Let's set up the pump. I want to start giving him twenty-five ccs Isosource hourly," Midland explained, writing up the orders on his chart. "Are you willing to take it orally, Chris?" she asked once more.

‘Just go away and leave me alone,' Larabee thought as he tried to ignore the people around him.

"I'll take that as a no," Midland said and helped the young nurse set up the new pump.

"Why can't you all just leave me the hell alone!" Larabee screamed at her.

"Is that what you really want, Chris?" James asked as she finally entered the room.

Their eyes met for the briefest moment and James realized that it was exactly what this man wanted. ‘We've got a long hard road ahead of us,' she thought.

Once more Chris let his eyes close without saying a word. His heart ached with the pain of knowing what he'd done to his wife and child. "I d...didn't d...deserve them," his tortured voice whispered.

"Didn't deserve who, Chris?" Midland asked.

The blond let his unshed tears fall from his eyes. He wanted to be left alone with his memories. Memories of a better time and a better place. "W...why d...didn't I go with t...them?' he asked not really expecting an answer.

"Go with who, Chris?" Midland asked.

"Go a...away," Larabee told her, trying to shut out the painful memories of his wife and son. The two people who'd meant more to him than life itself. The two people he'd murdered and would never see again. "J...just go away," his anguished voice painfully cried.

Buck Wilmington stood in the door and watched as the people around Chris began setting up new equipment next to his bed. He noticed a pump much like an IV pump and wondered what it was for. "What are you doing to him now?" he asked furiously as he hurried to his friend's side.

"Easy, Buck," Midland soothed as the angry man stood next to the bed. "We're just giving him some nutritional supplements. We're going to start giving him

Isosource through the NG tube."

Buck watched as she placed something in a plastic container and inserted the attached tubing into the pump. He watched as she set a rate and then attached more tubing to the NG tube in his friend's nostril.

Buck Wilmington was a strong man but the look of fear and pain on his oldest friend's face made him sick to his stomach. The last time he'd seen this look on Chris

Larabee's face was when he'd been told his family was gone from him forever. The single tear that fell from the blond's closed eyes made him swallow the lump forming in his throat. ‘Cut him a break, will ya?' he thought as he looked out the window.

"Angie, I've set it at twenty-five ccs per hour. Keep an eye on him and let me know if there are any problems," Midland told the nurse.

"Yes, Doctor," the nurse agreed.

"I'll let you know when his new room is ready, Angie. I'm going to check on it now," Locke explained as she followed Midland from the room.

"Ok, Carol," the blonde nurse answered as she checked the settings on the new equipment.

Buck stepped up to the head of the bed, carefully keeping out of the nurse's way. "Hey, Stud, you wanna talk?"

Larabee opened his eyes, unable to resist the call of his old friend. A man who'd stuck with him through bad times as well as the good. This was a man he could be open with. A man who would do anything for him. "Tell them to leave me a...alone, Buck," he pleaded, his voice sounding tired and defeated to Wilmington's ears.

"They're only trying to help you, Chris."

"I d...don't want their help. D...don't want a...anybody's help. J...just want to be l...left a...alone."

"You don't mean that, Pard," Wilmington pleaded, watching James write things in a chart out of the corner of his eye.

"H...how do you know w...what I m...mean, Buck?" Larabee hissed softly. "No one k...knows w...what I n...need but me."

"Then why don't you tell us what you need and we'll see if we can get it for you?" the moustached man suggested. He watched his friend's face once more turn away from him. "Come on, Chris, look at me," he begged.

"I can't, Buck, I l...look at you and all I s...see is Sarah and Adam and w...what I d...did to t...them."

Wilmington was going speak but a signal from Susan James told him to remain silent.

"Vin," the blond's body tensed as he spoke the name, "was r...right to p...punish me. I k...killed them j...just as I kill e...everyone I love. S...stay away f...from me,

B...Buck. I'll o...only h...hurt you," Larabee's saddened voice cut threw the hearts of everyone in the room including the steadfast psychiatrist.

Wilmington looked at the Susan James, anger written on his face as he mouthed. "Why'd you let him go on like that?"

James shook her head and signaled for Wilmington to continue.

Wilmington stared down at the pale figure on the bed. Speaking softly while holding his emotions in check. "We've been friends a long time, Chris. You're no murderer and you certainly didn't hurt Sarah and Adam."

"M...murdered my f...family. My l...little boy, my Sarah. Oh, God, why?" he cried as pain laced through his mind and body. He fought the oncoming spasms but was unable to stop them. He cried out as his body once more arched on the bed causing his wounds to protest loudly.

"Five Mgs Haldol, Angie," James ordered as she approached the bed. "Hang on, Chris, we're giving you something to make it stop," she assured him as the nurse did as she instructed.

Larabee's jaw clenched tightly as he tried to ride out the pain caused by his body's spasms. ‘I deserve this for what I've done,' he thought as he dropped back onto the bed. He felt a cool cloth pressed to his head and tried to move away from the small display of comfort. A hand on his cheek stopped him and he looked up into the eyes of his oldest friend. Once more a single tear escaped his eye before he closed them in an effort to be rid of the sadness and pain he saw mirrored in those eyes.

Buck Wilmington was angry at Susan James and he wanted desperately to let her know it. He followed her out of his friend's room before grabbing her arm. "Why the hell did you let him do that?" he yelled.

"Let's go in here so we don't disturb the patients shall we?"

Buck followed her inside and let the door slam loudly. "Why did you let him do that to himself?" he snarled.

"Chris needs to get his feelings out in the open and you're the first person he's responded to in days. Usually he just tells whoever's around to leave him alone. What he said in there tells me that he really does need to be watched carefully in order to prevent him from hurting himself further," James explained calmly.

Wilmington's face changed from anger to worry as he remembered the conversation they'd had with the medic. "Nathan told us about the suicide watch. Do you think it's really necessary?"

"Now more than ever," James told him. "He's extremely depressed and is easily agitated."

"Then let us watch him," Wilmington pleaded.

"We discussed this with Nathan. Hospital policy won't let you gentlemen be responsible for a patient."

Buck bristled angrily, "Hospital policy doesn't concern us. What does concern us is Chris Larabee and Vin Tanner. Right now Chris needs us, Doc, he needs us more than he needs some damn sitter."

"You'll be allowed to sit with him during normal visiting hours, Mr. Wilmington, but the sitter will also be there. I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do."

"Dammit Chris doesn't deserve this. He loved Sarah and Adam more than anything," he swore angrily. "Now because of Whelan and Wilcox it's been taken away from him and replaced with guilt. Please tell me we'll get Chris back," he begged.

"With the help of his friends I think we'll be able to bring him back. The first thing we need to do is get him wanting to live again. One of the things I'll want the rest of you to do is try and treat him as if nothing's changed. When we move him to the new room I'd like you to bring in some personal objects of his."

"Like what?"

"Does he have any favorite music, books, pictures, but make sure you don't bring in any of his family right away. We'll need to give him a chance to adjust before we start bringing his family into it."

"I can get all those things, Doc," Wilmington told her.

"It would also be a good idea to bring in daily papers and maybe even rent the TV for him. Getting him involved in day to day life is one of our first priorities. Simple things like getting him to make decisions is another thing that'll help him."

"Sounds like we're gonna have a battle on our hands!"

"We are and we have to win that battle if we want Chris back," she told him.

"That's one fight we'll win no matter what we have to do, Doc," Wilmington said confidently.

"That's the attitude we need, Mr. Wilmington. Now if you'll excuse me I have a meeting to attend."

"I'll go sit with Chris for a while," Wilmington told her as he followed her from the conference room.

Chapter 44

"Anything new with, Chris, Ez?" Tanner asked as he opened his eyes.

"Mr. Larabee is being transported to his new residence just down the corridor as we speak," Standish explained.

"Is he alright?"

"As alright as anyone can be after the atrocities he underwent," Standish bit his lip as he realized he'd said too much. "I apologize for running off at the mouth, Mr.

Tanner. I do believe I've become rather cynical in my speech lately."

"It's ok, Ez, I saw what they did to Chris. Can't say that I blame you for being Cynical," Tanner told him.

"Looks like your lunch has arrived, Mr. Tanner," Standish observed as an orderly brought in a tray and placed it on the table.

"Very good lunch. You eat it all and I'll be back for the tray," the orderly said as he hurried out the door.

"He's in a bit of a hurry," Tanner said, unable to stop the smile that touched his pale face.

"I would say that's an understatement if there ever was one," Standish smiled as he lifted the lid off one of the dishes. Nodding his head he met the other man's eyes.

"I think I'll find somewhere else to partake of sustenance."

"Take me with you, please," Tanner begged as he picked up a spoon and tried the thick white pasty stew.

"I'm afraid your physicians would not allow me to do such a thing."

"Have a heart, Ez. Taste this stuff. Tastes like the old paste they made at the orphanage out of flour and water."

"That good?" Standish asked, his eyebrows lifting sarcastically. He was rewarded when the injured man suddenly laughed out right. ‘That's the sound I wanted to hear,' he thought as he settled back to watch Tanner force the food down.

~~~~~~~~~~

Chris had no interest in his new surroundings. He kept his eyes closed as his bed was unhooked from the walls and pushed from one room to another. He knew they'd been on the elevator but refused to ask where they were going. He felt the elevator lurch to a stop and heard the doors open.

"Carol, we've got Chris Larabee here."

Carol Locke hurried towards the bed and looked down at her new patient. "Hello, Chris," she said, not really expecting an answer back. "Let's get you settled in your room. Three sixteen," she told the orderly as she took the chart and passed it to the nurse at the desk. She held one side of the bed and helped steer it towards the private room across from the main nursing station.

He felt the bed moving again and finally opened his eyes. The bright lights above his head caused him to clench them tightly against the pain assaulting his head. He felt people watching him even with his eyes closed. He hated being watched even when people didn't realize they were doing so.

"Here we are, Chris," Locke said as they entered the room.

Larabee once more opened his eyes as the bed was moved up against the wall. The room was done in a very light green color with matching curtains covering the tiny window. The overhead light was on and the brightness hurt his eyes. He heard the nurse telling the orderly what to do and he kept his eyes averted as they reconnected some of the plugs to the wall.

"Chris, Dr. Midland is on her way. She's going to take out this central line," Locke said as she checked his IV lines. She kept talking to him as she checked each of the tubes he was attached to including the foley catheter and the Isosource pump.

Chris gave no indication that he heard her except when she checked the foley. It was one of the most intimate tubes and he hated it. Keeping his eyes closed he turned away from the cheerfulness of her voice.

"Hello, Chris, Carol."

"Hello, Dr. Midland. Dr. Parker. I was just giving Chris the good news about getting rid of the central line."

"Was he happy with the news?" Midland asked.

"You know it's really hard to tell. I thought I'd be able to read such a handsome face but I can't get a handle on him. I must be losing my touch," Locke laughed as she continued to make her patient comfortable, raising his head so he could look around the room without opening the wounds on his neck.

"You? Say it ain't so, Carol. We thought you were our resident mind reader," Parker offered, noting there was no reaction to the light-hearted banter from the patient.

"I'll work on getting that distinction back, Dr. Parker," Locke promised as she finished making notes on the chart she held.

"Ok, Chris, let's get this line out of you," Midland said. She watched the blond man closely but there was still little or no reaction. Her eyes met Midland's and the two exchanged silent worries.

Chris felt the removal of the central line, wincing as the tape was removed from his neck. He felt a hand on his neck and pressure being applied to the point where the central IV line had been.

"Chris we have to treat your hands now," Midland told him. "Would you rather we started with the left or the right hand?" the doctor asked. At the morning meeting, between doctors and nurses, they'd agreed to give him small choices to make in hopes to give him a sense of control.

"Still not ready to talk, Chris?" Parker asked. " Well we'll choose for now and let you tell us when you're ready too," he said as he picked up the injured left hand.

Chris stayed still during the ministrations of the doctors. Quietly biting his lip to stem the cry of pain as his hands were soaked and re-bandaged. The pain caused by the treatment of the wound in his side was to much and he did cry out.

Midland looked silently at Locke and the nurse injected a dose of morphine into the IV line.

Parker and Midland were thorough in their examination and treatment of the wounds to Larabee's body.

"Now, Chris, we have one more decision for you to make. Now you certainly don't have to answer me but I won't do this until you tell me too. Would you like to keep the foley or be allowed to use a urinal."

Without realizing he was doing so the blond's answer was instantaneous, "Take it out," he whispered.

Midland smiled as she heard the desperation in his voice. "Carol, please remove the foley," she ordered.

"Certainly, Doctor," Locke said, a matching smile on her face.

Chris felt the hands touching his body and was relieved when the catheter was removed. He still refused to open his eyes and look at the people in the room with him.

He felt the morphine he'd been given take control and his eyelids grew heavy with sleep.

"How's he tolerating the Isosource?" Parker asked Locke.

"Well he's been on the twenty-five ccs for four hours now and seems to be doing fine," she told them.

"Increase it to fifty ccs and let me know if there's any change," Parker ordered as a tall, grey haired man dressed in white entered the room.

"Doctor Midland, I'm Jake Taylor. I was told to report to you here."

"Did they explain what your duties would be?" Midland asked.

"Yes, ma'am. They told me I'd be watching one of your patients."

"That's right. Come outside for a minute," Midland told him.

Once outside Midland explained that he was to watch the patient in three sixteen and that the man was considered a suicide risk.

"What happened to him?" Taylor asked.

"He was tortured both physically and mentally and has become withdrawn. You'll stay out of the nurse's way but remain in the room at all times. Understand?"

"Yes, ma'am," Taylor answered as he followed the doctor back into the room.

"Carol, if there are any problems I'll be in my office until seven."

"Ok, Doctor Midland," Locke said as she continued to make notes in her own charts.

"You coming, Tom?" Midland asked.

"Yeah. Carol, Keep an eye on his temperature as well. It seems a little high right now. It could just be from the lingering infection in his side but if it gets any worse give me a call."

"Yes, Doctor," Locke said as they left the room.

Carol Locke looked down at the figure on the bed. She gently touched his brow and felt the heat there. ‘I hope Doctor Parker is right, Chris. I don't think you'd be able to take anything else happening in your condition,' she thought as she touched the stiff blond hair. "Next thing we need to do is get you a bath," she said aloud.

"Ma'am?" Taylor asked from his chair.

"I was just talking to myself," Locke laughed and was surprised by the gentle smile on the orderly's face.

"Oh, ok, I do that myself. Just make sure you don't answer yourself," Taylor laughed.

"I'm afraid I've done that a few times as well. Your name is Jake, right?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Alright, Jake. I've got a couple of other patients to see so if there's any problems call the nurse's desk."

"I will," Taylor assured her. He watched the nurse leave the room and stood up from the chair. He walked over to the desk and looked down on the still figure. His eyes turned cold as he looked him over from head to toe. "Well, Son, it looks like whoever worked you over did a fine job on ya. Been through a few beatings myself but I never looked as bad as you when they ended," he said as he watched the blond's face. He didn't know if the grimace he saw was caused by pain or nightmares but he reached down and touched the patient's right shoulder. "You're probably going through some pretty rough nightmares right now, Son, but don't you worry they'll soon fade and things won't seem so bad to you," he shook his head and returned to his chair.

"Mr. Tanner thinks you haven't been punished enough, Chris," Whelan said as he knelt in front of the blond, placing his hand on the uninjured left knee.

"He seems to think you need a reminder of what pain really is."

Whelan glanced from the terrified man in the chair to the angry man kneeling in the shadows. "I think this should satisfy Mr. Tanner's need to see you punished," Whelan said as he picked up a shiny silver scalpel. Chris gazed at the object as the light reflected off the blade and into his tired eyes. He shook his head as Whelan slowly, methodically slid the blade along his right thigh, continuing downwards and slicing deep into the flesh of his calf. He trembled at the exquisite agony the blade caused, his eyes tearing as he watched the man raise the blood stained scalpel and place it at his left arm. He watched as if hypnotized as the blade sank just below the skin, blood welling up to flow freely down the arm and pool in the manacles holding his wrists.

He watched as Whelan moved from the left arm to the abdomen, just to the right of the navel area. Slowly he sank the razor sharp blade into the fleshy area, slicing downward at the same depth for five inches, smiling as his victim's face screwed up in agony. "Vin says it's time to die, time to die, time to die," Whelan's voice repeated as he lifted the blood stained scalpel to his victim's throat. Chris felt the scalpel at his throat, felt the blade sinking in and wanted to lean towards it.

He wanted the safety of oblivion but knew it wasn't to be as Whelan's evil face was replaced by that of the man he considered to be his brother. "It's time to die, Chris," Tanner's soft Texas drawl cut through his heart and he screamed in horror of the betrayal. His body bucked in the chair as he tried to move away from the horror before him.

Taylor moved to the wall mounted intercom and pressed the button as soon as he heard the first terrifying cries from the man on the bed.

"Can I help you," the voice asked.

"You'd better get someone in here," Taylor said.

"What happened?" Carol asked as she hurried to the bed.

"Think it was a nightmare," Taylor answered and moved out of the way as another nurse entered the room.

"Dr. Parker is on his way."

"Thanks, Jenny," Locke said as she spoke softly to her patient. "Come on, Chris, it's just a dream. Open your eyes and you'll see you're alright.

*****Larabee was caught in a nightmare. He was still locked in the chair and couldn't move away from the face of his friend. He screamed once again as

Tanner angrily spoke to him. "You deserve to die, Chris. You killed Sarah and Adam. You killed them! You killed them. You killed them," the soft voice repeated over and over*******

"Can you hear me, Chris? Come on. Open your eyes and you'll see you're fine," Locke continued to speak softly but was unable to penetrate the horror Larabee seemed to be locked in.

"What's going on?" Wilmington asked worriedly as he came into his friend's room.

"Mr. Wilmington, Chris seems to be trapped in a nightmare. Talk to him. See if you can get through to him," Locke ordered as she tried to hold the injured man on the bed. She could see fresh blood on the wound in his side as the violence of his struggles opened the healing incision.

Wilmington placed his hand on Larabee's left shoulder, gently massaging the trembling bicep. "Hey, Pard, it's time to wake up. Old Buck's here with you now. I'll keep you safe, Chris. Come on now let it go and open your eyes," he pleaded softly. "You hear me, Pard? I'm here and I'll watch your back. That's it," he said as the trembling began to subside and the eyes slowly opened. "How are you feeling?" he asked as lucid green eyes met his.

"He w...wants to k...kill me, Buck," the hoarse whisper barely reached Wilmington's ear, yet there was no denying the underlying anguish that accompanied the statement.

"Nobody wants to kill you, Pard. You were just having a nightmare."

"N...not a n...nightmare. L...leave me a...alone," Larabee pleaded as he closed his eyes and turned away from the moustached man.

"Can't do that, Pard. You need me right now," Wilmington told him.

"What's the problem, Carol?" Parker asked as he hurried into the room.

"Another nightmare," she answered softly. "I think you'd better look at this," she suggested, showing him the fresh blood on the bandage covering the laceration on his abdomen.

Parker shook his head as he touched the injured man's shoulder. "I'm going to have a look at your side, Chris. Think you can stay still for me?" Hoping for, but not expecting an answer he gently removed the tape from the wound. Fresh blood continued to well up at the top and bottom of the gash. "Get me some sutures," he ordered and Locke did as he asked. Once more they cleaned the laceration and covered it with a fresh bandage.

"All finished, Chris," Parker said.

"Did you hear that, Pard? All done. Now why don't you thank the doctor?" Wilmington asked, hoping to draw the blond into a conversation. His face showed his disappointment when there was no answer from his friend.

"I think he's gone back to sleep," Locke said as she checked his vitals.

"Let him sleep. I've arranged Physio starting tomorrow."

"What time will they be here?" the nurse asked.

"I told them you'd call them with a time."

"I'll give Chris the choice when he wakes up. Will you be staying for a while, Mr. Wilmington?"

"If it's alright I'd like to stay with him."

Locke nodded and followed Parker out of the room.

"Why don't you grab another chair from the nurse. I'll keep an eye on your friend."

"Thanks..."

"Jake."

"Thanks, Jake," Wilmington said as he hurried to get a second chair.

Chapter 45

Vin looked up as the door to his room was gently opened. He'd just pulled himself out of a similar nightmare as the one his friend had been having. A nightmare where he was unable to save his friend from Whelan's sadistic clutches. He'd been forced to watch as Whelan used the scalpel to slowly cut into Larabee's body, leaving long trails of blood from toe to forehead. He'd woken in a cold sweat just before the life drained from the pain filled green eyes.

"Mr. Tanner?"

"Yes."

"I'm Carol Locke and I'm a primary care nurse. I've been assigned to help care for you and Chris. How are you feeling?"

"I'm doing fine. I want to know how Chris is doing."

"He's resting right now, Mr. Tanner."

"Vin," he told her.

"Vin, I've been going over your chart and I see you've been making great strides towards your release. You'll be out of here in no time if you continue this way," she told him.

"What about, Chris?" he asked.

"You do seem to have a one track mind when it comes to your friend don't you, Vin?"

"I'm just worried about him is all."

"I can see that. All I can tell you is he's resting right now. We'll be starting Physio for him tomorrow."

"That's gonna be hard on him."

"Yes it is, Vin, but it has to be done. The faster we get him mobile the faster he recovers from his ordeal."

"I don't think he'll ever get over this ordeal," Tanner hissed, remembering his own nightmares. ‘Hell, I don't know if I'll ever get over his ordeal,' he thought angrily.

"I see you haven't been eating very much," she said as she read his chart. "Is there a problem?"

Tanner smiled as he answered. "Have you ever tasted hospital food?"

"A long time ago," she told him.

"Did you eat it?"

Locke laughed as she answered. "No, I don't think I did. I thought maybe things had changed since those days."

"They probably have. They've gotten worse."

"Well, Vin, what if you eat what they bring you over say the next three days. After that we'll see about giving you a choice in your menu."

"Three days?"

"That's all. Think you can handle that?"

"No promises," Tanner answered.

"Get some rest, Vin," she said. "I'll be back to see you tomorrow. If there's anything you need just let the nurses know."

Tanner's voice could barley be heard as he told her, "I need to see Chris."

"That's not possible right now, Vin. Give him a little more time."

"I wish people would stop telling me that. It's gettin' kinda old," he said as he turned away from the nurse.

Jake stifled a yawn as he walked over to the bed. He'd been alone with his charge since the nurses insisted that his friends go home and get some rest. They'd had a bit of a fight but the men had finally relented and left at nine pm. ‘You've got some good friends there, Son,' he thought as the door opened and a young man walked in.

"Hey, Jake, so is this one a little quieter than the last one?"

"Show some respect, Tony," Taylor ordered. He wished the younger man hadn't been assigned to work with this man. Tony was immature and had no idea what being a sitter was all about. Unfortunately it wasn't up to him who was assigned where.

"Come on, Jake, you know I was just kidding."

"Yeah, well don't. He's got enough problems without you adding to them," the older man snapped.

"You always were a softie, Jake," Tony told him.

"Just do your job, Tony," Taylor said as he headed out the door.

Tony Sharpe waited for the door to close and stepped up to the bed. "So you're the big shot. Looks like Chris Larabee met his match," he said as he lifted the bandaged left hand and turned it around. He watched as the pale face became a mask of pain but didn't wake up. "They did a pretty good job on you to didn't they?

You know, Larabee, because of you I've lost my whole weekend. Here it is Friday night and I coulda been out with my buddies. Instead I get to sit with a weakling who wants to take his own life. Maybe I should just bring you in a gun and let you get it over with," he stopped as he heard footsteps approaching the room.

Dropping the injured hand back to the bed he moved to the chair just as the door opened and a nurse stepped into the room. "Hi, Kerry," he grinned as he moved out of her way.

"Hello, Tony, how are you?" she asked as she checked her patient and changed the IV and antibiotics over his head.

"I'm doing fine, pretty lady," he answered.

"Bet you say that to all the nurses," she stated. She checked the Morphine infusion pump and was satisfied to see it running properly. A low moan brought her attention back to her patient just as his eyes opened and he grabbed at his stomach with his bandaged hands. "What's wrong, Chris?" she asked.

"H...hurts," he answered, grimacing as severe cramps struck his stomach.

"What hurts, Chris?"

"S...stomach, h...hurts bad."

Kerry checked the rate on the Isosource pump and noted that it was set at Fifty ccs per hour. She looked at his chart and saw that the rate had changed a little over four hours ago. "Hang on, Chris, I'm gonna put a call in to the doctor," she told him.

"Ok," he groaned as she left the room.

"You know you're a real mess," Tony declared as he approached the bed again.

Chris ignored the kid who stood next to his bed. His stomach felt as if it was on fire and he tried to curl into a ball.

Tony smiled at the suffering figure on the bed. ‘Don't worry, Larabee, sooner or later I'll help you end it all,' he thought, his eyes filled with insane glee.

Five minutes later Kerry and an older man entered the room. They walked up to the bed and the doctor checked the feeds. "Put in a call to x-ray. I want a flat plate done immediately," he said as he turned off the Isosource pump. "Also give him twenty mgs Losec," he ordered. "Chris, the Losec will help you feel better."

"S...sick," his tired voice said.

Kerry heard the plea and shoved a small basin in front of him as the doctor lifted him forward. Chris's stomach emptied until there was nothing but dry heaves.

Finally, even those receded and he was placed back on the pillow.

"Better?" Kerry asked.

"A l...little," he answered.

"Now are you going to take this or do I have to crush it and give it to you the same way we do your other meds?" she asked as the doctor made more notes on his charts.

He stared at her for a few minutes before the depression once more invaded his mind and he turned away from the helping hand. Shaking her head she gave it to him the same way they'd given him the Zoloft when she'd first started her shift.

"Kerry, make sure I get the results of the x-ray as soon as they come in. I'm also making a note here to Stacey and Tom about getting a nutritionist involved as soon as possible."

"Yes, Sir, Doctor Michaels," she answered as the doctor left the room. "Try to sleep, Chris. The Losec will start to work very quickly. Tony, call me if he needs anything," she told the sitter as she left the room.

Tony stepped up to the bed once more. "Pathetic," he hissed. "You're nothing but a pathetic Bastard," he laughed as he noticed the man was sleeping.

Chapter 46

Midland, Parker, Locke, James and Kerry sat in conference in Midland's office early the next morning.

"Did you start the feeds back up?" Parker asked.

"Yes, Sir. Doctor Michaels said the x-ray was negative and to start it back up at seven this morning."

"How's he tolerating it?"

"We started him back on the twenty five ccs and he's been fine with it so far."

"That's good," Midland said. "I see here he refused to take the Losec and you had to give it via the NG tube."

"Yes, Doctor."

"It appears we've got a long road ahead of us," James voiced the thought running through each of their minds.

"We've got to make sure we stay on top of everything. Did you call the nutritionist, Carol?" Parker asked.

"Kathy will be at this afternoon's meeting," Locke explained.

"Is there anything else, Kerry?" Parker asked.

"No, Doctor, once the Losec took hold and the cramps and vomiting subsided he slept well."

"That's one good thing," Midland told them.

"I'll be seeing him in about an hour," James said. "It's important that we get him back to making decisions about his life. Have you talked to his friends about bringing some things from his home?"

"They're supposed to bring some stuff in today. I warned them against bringing anything that would upset him," Locke said.

"Excellent, Carol. Now unless there's something else I've got to get to my rounds," Parker told them.

"That's it for now," James said and the meeting broke up.

Chapter 47

"Hey, Brother, how're you feeling?"

"I'm fine, Josiah."

"Vin, I can see you're far from fine. Do you feel like talking about it?" Sanchez asked as he pulled a chair up to the bed.

Tanner had been up and walking around the room just after breakfast. He'd been able to ignore the pain in his chest and shoulder for awhile but the ache in his upper thigh made him crawl back in his bed. He'd been dozing off when the ex-preacher stepped into the room. He stared at the older man before speaking softly. "I've lost the best friend I ever had, Josiah."

Sanchez heard the pain in the softly spoken words and stepped up to the bed. "Chris will get better, Vin. It may take a while but you two have a special connection that the good Lord provided and will make whole again."

"Will he? Right now I don't think God or anyone can fix what I did to Chris," Tanner hissed.

"You did nothing to Brother Chris, Son. What happened was not your fault and deep down Chris knows this. He's just confused and in a lot of pain right now. As soon as he's able to face the demons haunting him he'll remember the closeness you two share."

"I wish I could believe that but I keep hearing him screaming. I keep seeing Whelan torturing him. I can't make it stop. It's like a movie that plays over and over and ends with Chris..." Tanner broke off as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Ends with Chris doing what?"

"Ends with Chris dying, Josiah. I see it every time I close my eyes. He's pleading with me to let him go. Pleading for me to end the pain for him. I can't, Josiah. I can't make his pain stop no matter how much he wants me too."

"Those are just dreams, Vin. Bad dreams, yes, but still dreams."

"Then why is he on suicide watch?" Tanner asked.

"Who told you about that?" Sanchez asked.

"Nathan and Dr. James. I have a right to know, Josiah, I'm the one who put him where he is," Tanner shouted.

"Vin, look it's time to get past the feelings of guilt. You had nothing to do with what Whelan and Wilcox did. Wilcox is a twisted man and he was bent on revenge. I know you'd rather he'd have taken it out on you but he didn't. He knew you'd be hurt a lot more if he used Chris and he was right. If you keep blaming yourself you're gonna lose the best friend, make that brother you ever had. God had a reason for putting you two together. He knew Brother Chris needed someone after

Sarah and Adam and it was fate that made you find him that day."

"Fate! Was it fate that I left Gary in Beirut?" Tanner gasped.

"No, Vin, that wasn't fate. That was war. You were hurt and unconscious and had no way of getting him out of there. It wasn't your fault that he was captured. It wasn't your fault that the terrorist group hurt him. It wasn't your fault that he decided to change into a twisted form of the man you once knew."

Tanner remained silent for a few minutes and Sanchez left him to his thoughts. "He really was a good man before Beirut," the young man's soft voice made Sanchez smile.

"Want to tell me about him?"

"We went through training together. He had such a funny sense of humor. He'd find a way to laugh at any situation. He had a carefree attitude that even made me a little nervous."

Sanchez's eyes opened wide as he smiled, "You, Vin?"

"Yeah me," the younger man said with a grin. "One time he wanted to do one of those Motor cycle jumps like that Kanevil guy. The difference being that he wanted to ride double."

"I take it you were the passenger?"

"Yep. We did it but we wrecked the bike. Gary ended up with some busted ribs and I broke my arm. You know what he said when they released us from the hospital?"

"What?"

"He asked if the next time he could ride behind me. He wanted to do another jump."

"Did you do it?"

"The day they took the cast off he picked me up and we drove to the same track. The jump was already set up."

"How did this one go?"

"We landed perfectly. That was the day we promised to always look out for each other," his voice had taken on a pained quality again.

"Do you regret making that promise?"

"No, not really. As I said Gary was a different man back then. I'm kinda tired now, Josiah. Thanks for listening," Tanner yawned and let his eyes close.

"Anytime, Brother, I'll stay right here with you and try to keep those nightmares at bay," Sanchez assured him as he picked up a magazine and started to read.

Chapter 48

"Good morning, Chris," Locke said, a smile on her face as she stepped up to the quiet man's bed. "Don't tell me you're still not talking to me?"

Larabee opened his eyes and looked at the woman standing beside him. "Why?" he asked weakly.

"Why what?" she asked genuinely confused at the spark of anger in his eyes.

"Why is he h...here?"

"Who?" Locke asked, trying to keep her patient talking.

"Him. I w...want to k...know why he's h...here?"

"Doctor's orders for now," she told him.

"Tell him to get out!"

"I'm sorry, Chris, I can't do that right now," Locke answered.

"D...don't need no God D...Damned sitter," Larabee screamed at her, his voice raspy and filled with pain as his sore throat protested the abuse.

"He has to stay for now, Chris."

"S...shoulda left me in t...the other room. D...didn't need no s...sitter there," Larabee's voice returned to the weak, defeated voice they'd grown used to hearing. He closed his eyes but opened them quickly as his mind once more returned to the horror of the warehouse.

"We're gonna start you on Physio today, Chris," she told him, shaking her head as he returned to the silence he'd hidden behind for over a week. "I have to call them and let them know the best time. Would you like them to come before or after lunch?" she asked and still received no answer. "Well I guess I'll have to decide for now. I'll have them come up now before lunch. You can let me know if you'd rather it be after lunch when you're ready too."

Larabee listened to the nurse but refused to answer. He knew the grey haired man in the chair across the room was what the hospital sometimes termed a sitter. He also knew why they'd assigned the man to him. They were considering him a suicide risk. Tears filled his eyes as he realized they were probably right. The guilt he felt over the death of his wife and son continued to gnaw at him. ‘Sarah, I want to be with you both so much,' he thought. As soon as that thought entered his mind it was driven away by the voice of Whelan. ‘You deserve to die for what you did to them, Chris. You murdered them and you'll never be with them again.'

"No," he whispered softly.

"No what, Chris?" Locke asked as she began treating his hands and fingers. She'd called Physio while he'd been quiet. They were on their way up and she wanted him ready for their arrival.

She had no idea that her patient wasn't hearing her. He was once more caught up in the never ending nightmare world of pain and terror caused by Whelan and

Wilcox. He felt her lift his hands and begin removing the gauze. His fingers throbbed painfully as she immersed them in the saline solution.

Locke watched her patient's face and saw the changes in his features. Most of the time he was either in pain or filled with sorrow. She looked up as a middle aged woman entered the room. Recognizing one of the techs from Physio she smiled, "Hi, Peggy,"

"Carol."

"Chris, Peggy is here from the physiotherapy department. She's going to work with you and see about getting you mobile again," Carol explained.

Peggy had read his file and knew he was uncooperative right now. She knew what his injuries were and hoped she'd be able to get him working with her instead of against her. She placed his chart on the bedside table and began speaking to the injured man. "Hello, Chris, I'm here to help you and I hope you'll help me as well.

I'm not going to lie to you it's going to hurt but we have to get you moving," she told him as she reached down and took his left hand. Slowly she manipulated his fingers, moving each one in spite of the obvious pain he was in. "Carol?"

"Yes, Peggy?"

"How long before he can have something for pain?"

"I can give him a shot of morphine right now," Locke answered and readied the syringe as Peggy nodded. Carol used an alcohol swab and wiped at the IV juncture before placing the syringe into it and delivering the meds.

Peggy waited a couple of minutes before picking his left hand up again. She gently worked his wrist back and forth then continued to his elbow and shoulder, carefully working around the bulky bandage covering his arm just above the elbow.

Chris kept his eyes closed against the re-awakening pain caused by the woman. The morphine injection helped but he could still feel the residual effects of what she was doing. He felt her hands move from his upper body to his legs and cried out as she bent his injured right leg.

"Almost done, Chris," she said as she continued down his leg to his ankle, once more avoiding the bandage on his calf. She ignored the soft moans as she worked the muscles on his right calf and thigh. "All done," she told him as she replaced the sheet over his sweat soaked body. "We've got just one other thing to do, Chris but this one is easy. I need you to blow into this little tube here," she said as his eyes fell on the object in her hands. "It's important we get you using this as often as you can. It's great exercise for your lungs," she watched his eyes close as he refused. "Well I guess I'll just have to stand here and talk to you until you do it. My Mother always said I talked too much and said little so I guess we'll find out if she was right."

Locke smiled as the therapist talked calmly to her patient. A couple of minutes passed until the blond opened his eyes and finished the final exercise. His eyes blazed with anger as he blew into the small accordion like tube causing the tiny white ball to rise to the top.

"Well done, Chris," Peggy told him as she removed the tube from his mouth and placed it on his table. "I'll fill out my report and see that you get copies," Peggy said as she moved away from the bed. "I'll see you tomorrow, Chris."

Locke reapplied saline soaked gauze to his hands and fingers. Once more she watched as her patient dropped off to sleep. "Jake, Let the desk know if he needs anything at all," she said.

"I will, Ma'am," Taylor answered. Alone with the injured man he stepped up to the bed. "You still gotta long way to go, Son," he whispered softly. "What's this world comin' to when a good man like you becomes the victim of a twisted mind."

Chapter 49

"You all know, Kathy Leonard?" Midland asked.

"Yes. Nice to see you again Kathy," James remarked.

"You too, Susan."

"How did Physio go, Carol?" Parker asked.

"It was hard on him. As expected he was in a great deal of pain by the time it was finished."

"Peggy is one of our best. I'm sure she did a thorough job," Midland explained. "I read her report and she feels he'll need Physio on his hands even after he leaves the hospital."

"I'll make a note of that and make the arrangements," Locke assured her.

"I wouldn't make the arrangements just yet, Carol. I don't think Chris will be leaving here for a while yet," James said.

"I know that, Susan, but Physio is booked weeks in advance and I want to make sure it's already in motion," Locke told her.

"I apologize, Carol, I'd forgotten how busy things are for that department."

"No apology needed, Dr. James."

"Kathy, you've looked over his chart. He's unable to tolerate more than twenty five ccs of the Isosource. Is there something else we could do for him?" Parker asked.

"Is he still refusing to take anything orally?" Leonard asked.

"I'm afraid so. To be honest here he's simply waiting for death. I've seen torture victims literally give up in order to get rid of the memories of what they've gone through. That's part of what we're dealing with here. Chris doesn't want to accept help because he feels he was betrayed by a friend who he thought would help him.

He's going to fight us every step of the way and we're going to have to be prepared for any and all contingencies," James explained as she poured fresh coffee into her cup from the pot on the table.

"Well the faster we get him eating the better. Meanwhile keep him on an IV, make sure he's getting the Isosource properly. We also need to watch for any signs that his body is not getting enough of the essential elements needed to keep him alive," Leonard explained.

"What we really need to do is get him trusting Vin Tanner again," Midland observed.

"That's something we'll have to work on as well. I was in to see Vin this morning. He's also a little depressed. I don't think he's at the point where he needs to be placed on medication but he needs to see Chris in order to put some of his fears and nightmares to rest. Did you know he's dreaming of seeing his friend's death?"

James asked them.

"Vin's doctor was supposed to be here but he was called into emergency surgery," Midland explained. "In conference this morning he said physically Vin was doing fine and should be able to go home in a week."

"I really think we have to work on getting Chris to accept Vin's help again. If we can't we may lose them both. Oh, I don't mean Vin is in danger of taking his own life but he won't be the same if Chris Larabee dies. He'll let the guilt he's already harbor fester until it's all he can see. He already blames himself for Chris's injuries and it's tearing him apart," James said as she made notes in her charts.

"Well I guess we're all in agreement on the best course of action. Buck Wilmington and JD Dunne are with Chris now. They've brought the things I asked them to bring and are setting up the television as well. Wilmington is still adamant about them taking on the sitter duty," Locke said.

"That's the way these men are, Carol, they tend to look after each other. When one is injured the others, ah, what's their words again? Oh yeah. Watch their backs,"

Midland laughed.

"Close group?" Leonard asked as she closed her file.

"That they are," Midland answered. "Well I've got rounds to do so I'll see you all at tomorrow's meeting. Carol, if there's any changes let me know."

"Yes, Doctor," Locke said as the meeting ended.

Chapter 50

"Hey, Stud, you gonna sleep the day away?"

Opening his eyes slowly, Chris looked into the face of his old friend. He groaned as he shifted on the bed.

"Are you in pain, Chris?" Dunne asked.

"Don't be silly, JD, that's just his natural look. He uses it to attract the ladies. Nothing like a grimace to make them feel sorry for you. Ain't that right, Stud?"

Wilmington asked as he pushed the button and raised the head of the bed.

"Go a...away, Buck," the blond hissed as his eyes fell on the sitter across the room.

"Not today, Pard. We've come to watch some TV with you. What's your pleasure? Movies or sports?"

"Yeah, Chris, there's a baseball game just starting, Yankees and the Mets in inter league play," Dunne's cheerful voice grated on Larabee's taut nerves.

"Well, Damn, Son, put it on," Wilmington growled as he opened a bottle of Soda, draining half of it before placing it on the table. His eyes went to the older man sitting alone across the room. Their eyes met and Wilmington could read the sympathy there. Nodding his head he turned back to his friend as JD tuned in the game.

"Want to make a bet on who wins?" he asked Larabee.

Chris met the warm eyes of the man standing next to him. Without answering he closed his own eyes, unable to face the deep concern he saw hidden there.

Wilmington placed his hand on the blond's shoulder, "Come on, Stud, you gotta get past all this."

"Can't, Buck, it's like a horror movie and I keep reliving it in sequels."

"What was done to you was from a horror movie, Chris, but it'll get better. You'll be back on your feet and glaring at all of us in no time," Wilmington said reassuringly.

"Will I, Buck?" the question was more a statement than a question as Larabee once more sank into the depths of despair that seemed to be the only place he could let go. "J...just l...leave me alone, a...alright?"

"No, Chris, I'm not gonna leave you alone. None of us are. We're all gonna be here until you beat this thing. Come on now, fight this and you'll feel much better."

"Too t...tired to fight a...anymore, Buck. J...just want to sleep," Larabee said as he turned away and closed his eyes. He heard the door open and felt someone checking his IV as well as the Isosource infusion pump. He felt hands touching the NG tube and knew they were forcing the medications on him. Medications he didn't want to take. Tears filled his eyes as he realized Whelan was not here but he was still helpless and at the mercy of other people. He didn't know if he dozed off or if he just tuned the others out but once in a while he'd hear laughter and he wanted to reach out. As soon as he tried to make a move towards them the despair came back as Whelan's words once more tormented him. ‘You killed them Chris! You killed your wife and Son. Vin says it's time to die. Time to Die. Time to die,' "No!" he screamed as he tried to move away from the man standing before him. "I didn't mean to. Please, Sarah, I didn't mean too!"

"Mr. Larabee, it's only a dream," Standish said as he heard the banshee like scream from the injured man. He placed his hand on Larabee's shoulder and tried to calm the injured man.

"No! You son of a Bitch!" the blond shouted, lashing out with his injured hands, crying out sharply as the limbs met with the hard steel bedrails.

"Stop, Chris, come on now. Wake up," Jackson ordered as he tried to get the blond to lie back in the bed. Nothing they did could calm the injured man and they could see his struggles were causing more damage to his already damaged body. "Ezra, get the nurse," the medic ordered.

"I'll get her," Taylor said as he opened the door and called for one of the nurses.

Selma heard the screams coming from the room as soon as the door was opened. She opened the med cart and took out the Haldol Larabee's doctors had ordered for him. She hurried into the room and over to the bed. The two men standing on either side were trying to hold the fighting man but were afraid of hurting him more than he already was. She quickly injected the medication into the IV and spoke softly to her patient. "Can you hear me, Chris?"

"Get away from me. Oh, God, no more. Please, Vin, Make him stop!" Larabee's weak voice cried out as three pairs of hands touched him. "Vin! Why are you letting him do this." He felt as if his body didn't belong to him as the medication began to take hold. He wanted to kick and scream. He wanted answers. He wanted to know why Vin Tanner had betrayed their friendship. Instead he found his mind once more dulled to those thoughts as he gave in to the drug.

"He's sleeping," Selma told the two anxious men.

"I think you'd better look at his hands. He hit them pretty hard against the rail," Jackson told her.

"I'll put in a call to Dr. Midland right away," Selma assured the men as she checked the patient's IV and vitals before leaving the room.

Chapter 51

Midland finished examining the sleeping man's hands, "He's reopened the wound on his left hand but it's not too bad," she told them as she once more soaked it in the saline solution before placing more bandages over it.

"Thank God," Jackson said.

"That must've been some nightmare he was having."

"He was screaming for Vin. Asking him to make Whelan stop," Jackson explained.

"Then he was asking Mr. Tanner why he was doing this to him," Standish put in.

"Well, he should sleep comfortably with the help of the sedative Selma gave him. Visiting hours are about to end so you gentlemen should go home and get some rest," she suggested firmly.

"I don't like leaving him alone," Jackson said.

"He won't be alone, Nathan. Jake's gonna stay with him and he'll let us know if something happens. None of you will be any good to him if you pass out from lack of sleep. Now go home or I'll call Orrin Travis. That's right, he's back from vacation and he's angry as hell that none of you bothered to call him."

‘Oh, shit," Jackson swore. "We tried the first night but then things kinda went haywire after that."

"I don't think I want to be around when Mr. Travis shows up."

"Too late, Standish. I'm already here. I'll deal with you guys later," he said and turned his attention to the pale form on the bed. "Stacey, how is he?" he asked worriedly.

"Physically, he's healing, Orrin."

"Mentally?"

"Susan James is working with him. He's refusing to take his medications. He's not eating or drinking. He's living through some horrid nightmares if the violence of his waking mind is any indication."

"Does he still blame..."

"Yes, Orrin, he does and I'd rather you not say the name right now. I'm pretty certain he's sleeping but I don't want to take the chance of setting him off again.

Look, visiting hours are over but I think it'll be ok for you to stay for a little while if you want. Not you two," she said as she turned to Jackson and Standish. "Go home and get some sleep."

"Later," Jackson said.

"Now, Nathan, Ezra, or do I have to make it an order? Now go get the other three and make them go with you. I'll expect the five of you at the office at nine sharp tomorrow morning," Travis told them as he heard the two Firm employees leave the room.

"Thanks for getting them to leave at a decent hour, Orrin," Stacey said.

"You're welcome, Stacey. Will he be alright?" he asked worriedly searching the still face on the bed.

"With time and a lot of patience he should make a full recovery. But, Orrin, he's got a long way to go and right now he's refusing to let anyone help him."

"The one time he really needs," he lowered his voice and mouthed, ‘Vin'. "He doesn't trust him."

"I'm hoping he will once he's able to deal with what that madman did to him."

"We can talk about this tomorrow, Stacey, you look bushed."

"I am, Orrin, but I wanted to check on Chris and Vin before I left."

"Vin's just down the hall in three twenty. Right?"

"Right. I'll see you tomorrow," she said as she left.

"Now, Chris, I know you're hurting but you've got to know there are a lot of people rooting for you. Mary said she'll pop in to see you tomorrow. She would've come tonight but Billy was too tired. That boy thinks the world of you and you'd better not let him down. I'm not going to lie to you and say everything's going to be alright because that would be a mistake. I have a feeling this one will be with you for the rest of your life but you're a strong man and you're a fighter. That's why I hired you and your team, Chris, that strength and loyalty you all have for each other. Stacey says you'll probably sleep through the night so I'm going to go visit my other man. You rest easy, Son, and know we're all here for you," Travis said as he touched the still form and said a prayer.

Taylor watched him walk out the door before moving to the bed. "You're a lucky man, Chris Larabee. You've got a lot of people in your corner and they'll help you through all this," he whispered before returning to his chair to wait for his replacement.

Travis stepped into room three twenty and for a minute thought the man on the bed was sleeping. He was about to turn away when he heard the unmistakable Texas drawl.

"Orrin?"

"Thought you were sleeping, Vin," Travis said as he pulled a chair up to the bed and sat down.

"Was, but the nightmares wake me," Tanner said angrily.

"Hmm, that's understandable, Son. You and Chris have been through a lot."

"Not me. Chris has been through hell because of me."

"Not because of you, Vin. You did nothing to be ashamed of. If I'm not mistaken you saved his life. Whelan would've tortured him even more if you hadn't gotten there when you did."

Tanner looked into the older man's eyes. He knew Orrin Travis was trying to make him see reason but it wasn't working. All he could see was Chris Larabee's eyes when Whelan told him Vin wanted him punished or that Vin wanted him dead. Even worse than those two were Whelan's condemning words that Chris Larabee had murdered Sarah and Adam Larabee. "It should never have happened in the first place," Tanner said, yawning as his body betrayed his lack of sleep.

"I agree, Vin, but it's something we can't change now. Right now we have to work at getting Chris to want to live again. We need to prove to him that you had nothing to do with Whelan or his torture. We'll have him back before long, Vin. You'll have him back," Travis said, remembering a time when Larabee and Tanner had declared themselves brothers at heart.

"I hope so, Orrin. Oh, God I hope so," Tanner said as he dropped into a troubled sleep.

‘I do too, Son, for both your sakes,' Travis thought as he left the room.

Tony Sharpe stood next to the bed, his eyes raking over the bandages on the sleeping body. He lifted the edge of the bandage covering the wound to Larabee's left forearm, an evil grin on his face as he tugged slightly on the arm. "Bet that hurt," he whispered in the blond's ear. He reached down and checked the wound on the calf, this time pressing until a hiss of pain escaped the pale man's lips. "That's better. Least I got your attention now," he said as he continued his perusal of the injuries. "What happened to your knee?" he asked as he squeezed it tightly, eliciting another groan. "Hurt's does it?" he waited for the man to settle back to sleep.

"Pathetic Son Of A Bitch. I'd have done this for nothing but the money Mr. Wilcox is offering makes it even better."

Even in sleep the name penetrated Chris's mind. ‘No! No more,' he thought as he moved away from the troubling voice on his left. He moaned as his body jarred up against the side rail in his attempt to drown out the name.

"You won't get away from me that easy, Larabee, and neither will Vin Tanner," Sharpe laughed as he touched the bandages on Larabee's neck.

‘Help me, Vin,' his subconscious called to the one man who'd always been there for him since they'd met.

Chapter 52

"How the hell do we tell Vin about this?" Wilmington shouted.

"Buck, Vin probably knows. It's being broadcast on all the local stations," Travis informed them all as he played back the tape of the interview with Wilcox. The smug man denied any involvement in what happened to Chris Larabee. He'd also informed the reporters that he was going to instigate charges against Vin Tanner for attacking him in his own office.

"Isn't there something we can do?" Dunne asked.

"Not really, JD. Wilcox was released on bail and his own recognizance there's nothing we can do about it. Leastwise not until Chris is available to give his statement," Standish answered with a flourish.

"We'll need to keep an eye on our injured brothers," Sanchez suggested.

"The police won't give protective custody because there is no evidence that Wilcox was behind all this," Travis told them.

"Then we'll have to watch them ourselves," Wilmington's voice was angry as he strode to the window of Travis's large office.

"We may not be able to be a sitter for Chris but we can guard them from outside the room. I suggest we start taking turns staying in the waiting room across from the elevator. That way we can see anyone entering Chris' or Vin's room," Jackson said.

"Alright, gentlemen, it seems we have a plan," Standish said.

"Just make sure you boys stay out of the way and don't do anything to get yourselves thrown out. Buck, stay away from the nurse's station," Travis ordered, trying to lighten the mood. Smiles appeared on the worried faces but no one laughed.

Jake Taylor walked into room three sixteen, his eyes moving from the patient to the sitter. Tony Sharpe grinned at him and stood up. "You're early," he said.

"Couldn't sleep so I figured I'd come in early. How's he doing?"

"Groaned allot but he slept all night."

"Tony, if you'd been through what he's been through you'd probably be screaming your ass off."

Sharpe's eyes grew angry as he fought for control. "Least they wouldn't have to put me on suicide watch. I don't take the coward's way out!"

"You don't know that until you've been through what he has. Look, Tony, you're no good for this job if you're gonna harp about it all the time. Ask Pete to assign you to another watch."

Sharpe felt his anger slip away as he realize he was in danger of losing his newfound gold mine. If he wasn't allowed to be close to Larabee then he'd lose the money

Wilcox was paying him to terrorize and finally kill Larabee and Tanner. "You know me Jake. I may say it to you but I'd never do anything to hurt the patient. Thanks for coming in early. I'll see you tonight and maybe I'll even return the favor," he said.

"Just remember this man is a human being and deserves to be treated like one." Taylor watched the man leave the room, a chill running down his spine. Sharpe was not a man he trusted but there was nothing he could do. Pete Townsend was away for the rest of the week but Jake would speak to him about transferring the younger man as soon as he got back. He looked at the bed and was shocked to see two lucid green eyes staring back at him.

"Thanks," Larabee said. He'd been awake from the moment Taylor entered the room.

"For what?" Taylor asked, genuinely surprised by the depth of feeling he saw on the man's face.

"For trying to make him understand," Larabee groaned as he tried to move up in the bed.

"Let me help you," Taylor said as he pushed the buttons on the control panel on the side rail. "How's that?"

"B...better. C...can you get the nurse for me?" Larabee asked.

"Sure thing," Taylor said and pressed the call button by the pillow. He told the nurse Larabee needed her as soon as she answered.

The door opened almost immediately and a tall, robust woman stepped into the room, "What can I do for you, Mr. Larabee?"

"N...need to go to the washroom," he told her.

"Hmm, hang on and I'll get the urinal," she told him. She pulled the curtain across affording him some privacy from the sitter.

Taylor knew how hard it was for a man like Chris Larabee to ask for this kind of help. He tried to ignore the sounds from behind the curtain and picked up the magazine from the table. He looked up as the curtain was drawn back.

"Now, Mr. Larabee, you let us know if you need anything else, Ok?" she asked.

"Ok," he said softly, closing his eyes and drifting back to sleep.

Taylor relaxed in the chair. He turned on the TV and listened to the morning's news unaware that the man being interviewed was one of the men responsible for what happened to the pale, injured man on the bed. He caught the name written as a subtitle and quickly switched it off. He recognized the name and was glad Larabee was not awake to see it.

Chris could hear the voice and recognized it. He knew it belonged to Gary Wilcox and he was suddenly thrown back into the pit of despair he'd resided in. His mind dulled by the infusion of morphine and the regular dose of Haldol sent him back to the warehouse and into Whelan's hands.

*****‘Ever seen these before?' Whelan asked as he shoved the tiny but painful looking bamboo shoots in front of Larabee's face. Chris watched as once more his fingers were submitted to the painful invasion. He screamed as his already swollen hands were subjected to more painful torture. His hands were held in place by nails and clamps. The pain he felt was almost too much but he stayed conscious. ‘Mr. Tanner says you haven't been punished enough.' Chris tried to shrink into the folds of the chair as Whelan advanced on him with the scalpel. ‘You killed Sarah and Adam.' Whelan's face was suddenly replaced with Vin Tanners. As the scalpel bit into his arm Chris Larabee knew what hell was. Hell was a place where they sent you to live out your worst nightmares and he was having two of them.

The first being the actual death of his family. The second being the final betrayal of his best friend.********

"No!" he screamed as the scalpel bit into his arm. His eyes shot open and he struggled to breath. He felt the rising panic and knew his body was about to be jerked into another spasm. "No!" he fought against it as he saw Vin's angry face press the scalpel into his arm, drawing blood. "No!" he screamed as hands held him down and forced him back on the bed.

"Chris, it's a dream!" Midland said as she tried to get through to the injured man. "Five milligrams Haldol IV, stat," she ordered as his body was wracked by a violent convulsion. "I thought we'd gotten past these," she said as a nurse delivered the medication into the IV. "Come on, Chris, wake up," she repeated.

"No!" Larabee's voice grew weaker as he struggled in the grip of the continuing nightmare.

"We've got to get him calmed down," Midland said as she watched blood soak through the bandages on his side, arm and leg. She watched as the muscles in his neck bulged to the point where she thought they'd burst. The small white bandages also showing traces of fresh blood. "Chris, come on," she said as she tried to find a safe area to touch him. "Give him two milligrams Versed," she ordered and watched the nurse draw the medication and insert it in the IV. The result was almost immediate as Larabee succumbed to the sedative and the Versed. Midland shook her head at the damage done to the healing wounds. "Let's get him cleaned up," she said.

Chapter 53

"Chris!"

"Easy, Mr. Tanner, what's wrong?" Standish asked as he watched the younger man open his eyes.

"Something's wrong with Chris, Ezra," Tanner said as he dropped the side rail and struggled out of bed.

"That's not a good idea, Mr. Tanner. Let me check on our Mr. Larabee and I'll fill you in on anything I find out."

"No! Dammit, Ezra, I've gotta see for myself."

"Mr. Tanner, Vin, think about Chris's reaction the last time you paid him a visit. He's just not ready to see you yet."

The Sharpshooter looked at the other man and knew in his heart he was right. Somehow he'd have to stay away from Chris until his friend was able to see things properly. "Go check on him, Ez," he ordered as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"You remain where you are and I shall endeavor to find out if anything has happened to Mr. Larabee," Standish promised.

"I'll be here, Ez," Tanner assured him.

Ezra Standish walked from the room letting the door slide closed behind him. The hustle of activity in Larabee's room told him Vin Tanner was right. Something was happening to Chris Larabee and it wasn't something good. Standish walked to the door and looked in.

Larabee's body was uncovered, revealing the bandages covering much of his upper body. He watched as Midland carefully removed the bloodied gauze. His eyes met those of the doctor as she lifted her head from the task at hand. "Not now, Ezra," she ordered as she continued to clean the blond's reopened wounds.

Standish leaned against the door, his face a mask of worry as he saw the amount of blood on the hastily discarded bandages. He turned from the door just in time to find a very shaky and pale Vin Tanner standing beside him. The look on the other man's face told Ezra that he'd also seen the damage. "You were supposed to wait in your room," Standish said as he took Tanner's arm.

"What the hell happened to him?" the sharpshooter asked angrily shoving past Standish.

"Not now," Midland repeated as she watched her other patient coming into the room.

"Is he a...alright?"

"Go back to your room and I'll talk to you when I'm finished. Ezra, make sure he goes there and stays put," Midland snapped as she replaced one of the bandages on Larabee's neck.

"You heard her, Vin," Standish said as he turned the other man away from the room.

"Jake, can you tell me what set him off?" Midland asked as she checked the IV line.

"I'm not sure, Doc, but it may have had something to do with the news program I was watching," Taylor explained sadly.

"News program?"

"Yes, Ma'am. I was watching this morning's news and the reporter was talking to a man. As soon as I saw the name on the bottom of the screen I shut it off but if

Mr. Larabee heard the interview he may have recognized the voice."

"Who was it?"

"Gary Wilcox."

"Shit, we're going to have to ensure that he doesn't see it again. At least not until he's ready for it. Jake, he should sleep for a couple of hours but if he wakes up call the nurse's desk and have me paged," Midland said.

"Yes, Ma'am," Taylor said as she left the room. He once more stepped up to the bed, shaking his head sadly, "I'm sorry, Chris, if I'd of known you were listening I never would have turned the TV on."

~~~~~~~~~~

Vin sat in the chair by the bed, waiting anxiously for word on Larabee. He looked up, fear on his face as he saw Midland enter. "Doc, what the hell happened?"

"Well, Vin, his body spasmed again. Actually it's not called spasms it's called convulsions."

"I thought he was over those," Standish observed.

"So did we."

"Do you know what caused it and can you stop it from happening again?" Tanner asked.

"We're pretty certain we know what prompted this one," Midland told him.

"What?" Tanner asked.

"Gary Wilcox's voice," Midland answered knowing Tanner would find out sooner or later.

"Wilcox? How? He's in jail," Tanner's voice was laced with anger as he looked towards Standish.

"Vin, he was released on bail yesterday."

"Bail, who the hell was stupid enough to do that?"

"Calm down, Vin," Midland ordered.

"Calm down! They let that maniac back on the street. Dammit he's going to come after Chris again!"

"They had no choice, Vin, The only one who could place him at the warehouse is Chris and he says you busted into his office and attacked him. Right now it's your word against his. The judge said it's all circumstantial and he let Wilcox out on bail until there's more evidence," Standish explained.

"Oh, God, Ez, make sure someone's watching Chris. Will the police post a guard at his door?"

"Vin, the police won't get involved officially but some of the men know us and they're willing to help guard both of you."

"He won't come after me until he knows Chris is dead. Why the hell didn't he just take his revenge out on me. I'm the one who broke..."

"You did no such thing, Vin," Standish interrupted. "The promise you made couldn't be fulfilled once you were rendered unconscious."

"Vin, listen to Ezra, none of this is your fault."

"Thanks, Doc," Tanner said as he turned towards the window. ‘You come near him, Wilcox, and I swear nothing will stop me from killing you,' he thought.

"Get some rest, Vin, he'll need you soon," Midland said.

"Sure, Doc," Tanner's voice was heavy with sadness.

Standish and Midland glanced at each other before the doctor left, both knowing there would be no easy fix for these two friends. There was still too much pain, emotional and physical on both sides.

Chapter 54

Chris fought to stay where he was, even though the darkness was eerily quiet. At least here he felt pain free and no one could reach him. Whelan's taunting voice didn't quite reach him here and he felt he could hide forever, never having to face his friend's betrayal or the pain it caused.

"Chris."

‘No!' he thought as he heard someone call his name, turning his head away from the tiny light at the edge of awareness.

"Now, Chris, we have some work to do. It's time to open your eyes."

"No!" he said, this time the single word erupted angrily from his dry throat.

"Alright, Chris, it's your choice whether you open your eyes or not but we do have to get working on your Physio again."

"No!"

"Feeling a little stubborn this morning are we? Now shall we start with the left or the right hand?"

"Go away!"

"Now, Chris, you know I'm not going to do that. I mean I have a job to do and so do you," Peggy told him.

"J...job?" Larabee asked, finally opening his eyes.

"Sure. You and I both have jobs to do," she said with a grin. "Your job is to help me keep my job."

Larabee looked at her, irritation on his face, "Your job?"

"My job is to work with you. Get you mobile again. Show you how to take care of yourself and build your muscles back up. Now if I can't do something as simple as that then I don't deserve the job. So, will you help me keep my job?"

Chris closed his eyes, nodding slowly.

"Is that a yes?"

"Y...yes," he said slowly. He'd forced the memories of the morning's broadcast to the back of his mind in an effort to forget the pain.

"Thank you, Chris, I really like my job and I'm so glad you're going to help me keep it. Now, which hand would you like to start with?"

"Left," he answered simply.

"That's great. Now if this gets really painful for you all you have to do is tell me. I can have the nurse give you a shot of morphine when you need it, ok?"

"Ok," Larabee said as she began working his swollen fingers. He hissed as the pain gained momentum and asked for the morphine before she started on the second hand.

Carol Locke, who'd been standing to the side, inserted the morphine into the IV.

"Are you ready to begin again?" Peggy asked a few minutes later.

"Yes," he answered.

Slowly she worked her magic on his hands, arms and legs. She carefully moved each limb in order to keep them mobile. "All done, Chris," she said as she covered his trembling body with a sheet and blanket.

Chris heard her but didn't have the energy to answer. He closed his eyes and let his mind seek out the dark, quiet, spot where nothing or nobody could find him.

The meeting of Larabee's doctors, nurses and therapists took place in Stacey Midland's office as usual. Everyone was pleased with the way things had gone during the physiotherapy session.

Kathy Leonard was still concerned about the lack of nutrition Larabee was getting.

Susan James ordered that the suicide watch be continued. She knew he'd made some strides by answering Peggy's simple questions but made sure everyone understood that he was far from healed.

Midland and Parker informed them of the progress made on the physical injuries, including the damage done by the convulsions.

Carol Locke suggested they have Larabee's men sit with him as often as possible, making sure they continued to keep him abreast of life outside the hospital.

The next few days passed in the same way. Chris would let people do things for him but he ignored their pleas to eat, drink, or take his medications. To him it was the only way he could be punished for what Whelan had convinced him he'd done. His nightmares were the worst, a continually unchanging reel of eight milimeter.

An endless dream in which he murdered his wife and son. A constant reminder of the pain and suffering he'd caused the two people he'd professed to love.

Sitting next to his bed, Jake would sometimes hear Vin Tanner's name screamed as if it was the vilest name in the English language. Other times it was said with a quiet longing as if the blond needed to hear it. The softly spoken name sent shivers down Taylor's spine and he felt nothing but pity for the blond.

Chapter 55

Vin Tanner woke up a little after midnight, his eyes opening wide in fear, unsure where the feeling came from. ‘Chris,' he thought as he threw back the blankets and pulled the IV out of his arm. He groaned as his feet met heavily with the cold floor awakening the pain from the wound in his chest and thigh. He held the side of the bed as a wave of dizziness assaulted his senses. ‘Dammit, Tanner, not now,' he thought as he fought his way towards the door.

"Vin Tanner is the one causing all this, Chris. He's the one who hired Whelan. He's the one who paid for your torture. He's behind it all. He knows what you did to

Sarah and Adam. He knows how you burned them alive. He knows how you murdered them and now he wants you to die."

Chris heard the speech, the same one he'd listened to over and over the last few nights. His eyes were open but unfocused as he listened to the constant litany. Tears filled his eyes as he pictured his family screaming as their bodies were burned in the fire that consumed everything around them. "No!" his pleaded as the speech began for the fourth time that night.

Sharpe smiled at the look of sheer horror that covered the blond's pale face. ‘This is working better than Wilcox thought,' he grinned as the last of the message finished. He pressed the rewind button and shoved the tiny device into his pocket.

"You're pathetic you know that Larabee? Nothing but a pathetic bastard who murdered his own wife and son. Now everyone will know just what kind of coward you are. A yellow coward who kills the ones he's supposed to love. I hate people like you! People who can't even take their own lives properly yet they can kill a woman and a small child."

"Get away from him you sick Son of a bitch!" Tanner screamed as he rushed into the room. He grabbed Sharpe's surprised body and pulled him away from the pale form on the bed, ignoring the sharp pain in his own chest as he swung his fist at the other man. Tanner hit the man again, driving him across the room, shouting angrily,

"The man you're tormenting is my friend and so long as I've got breath in my body nobody will ever hurt him again. Do I make myself clear?" he screamed as he rushed at the orderly once more.

Chris Larabee cowered in the bed, trying to make his body small enough so no one could see him. He'd heard Tanner's words but only two of them had registered in his troubled mind. ‘Hurt him,' Tanner had shouted and Larabee's shock drove him further into the murky world of darkness and despair.

"What the hell's going on?" Wilmington shouted as he opened the door. "Vin?"

"This psycho's been filling Chris's head with lies," Tanner shouted as he angrily pulled the man from the floor. "Get him out of here before I kill him!"

The ladies man grabbed Sharpe as a security guard stepped into the room. "What's going on? Who are you?" he asked, quickly taking in the disheveled orderly, the moustached man, and the longhaired man in the hospital gown.

"He hit me! I was doing my job and he hit me!" Sharpe shouted petulantly.

"Damn straight I hit you and you come near him again and I swear I'll kill you," Tanner said, swaying slightly.

"Vin," Wilmington said as he grabbed the falling man.

"I said get him out of here," Tanner repeated as Buck helped him to a chair.

"Jesus, Vin, you're bleeding," Wilmington observed. "Get a doctor in here!"

The security guard escorted the orderly out of the room, "I told the nurse to wait until I gave her the all clear. I'll send her right in," he said.

"Buck, check on Chris," Tanner gasped as he clutched his hand to his chest.

"Chris?"

"Yeah, Sharpe was telling him lies! Calling him names. Oh, God, Buck, what if..."

"Don't think that way, Vin, let's wait until the nurse comes in," Wilmington said. Moving towards Larabee's bed but turned back to the younger man as he tumbled from the chair, "Vin," he cried as he placed the unconscious man on the floor.

"What happened?" a nurse asked as she entered the room.

"I'm not sure but I think it had something to do with that orderly the guard took out of here."

"Tony?" the nurse asked as she checked Tanner's chest.

"Yeah. I gotta check on Chris."

"What happened to him?" she asked as she glanced at the bed.

"Vin said Sharpe was telling him things."

"You go check on him. The doctor on call is on his way up here now," she said.

"Thanks..."

"Sharon."

"Thanks, Sharon," Wilmington said as he stepped up to Larabee's bed. "Chris?"

‘Hurt him!' Tanner's words echoed over and over in Larabee's mind, so loudly that nothing else came through. He was alone, alone in a world where nothing else mattered but his own guilt. The guilt he felt over the death of his family and now the death of his friendship to Vin Tanner.

"Chris, it's me, Stud," Wilmington said softly, terrified by the lack of emotion on the handsome face, the almost empty look in the glossy eyes.

"How is he?" the nurse asked as she continued to keep pressure on Tanner's chest wound.

"I don't know. It's almost like he's not here," Wilmington's voice trembled as he answered her.

They both looked up as a doctor and a second nurse entered the room. The doctor looked from the man on the floor to the man on the bed. His decision was made by the amount of blood on the younger man's chest. He knelt beside the nurse and had her remove her hand. "We need to get this looked after. Call Dr. Hastings and have her meet me in Mr. Tanner's room," he ordered as he watched the second nurse checking the patient on the bed. "How is he?"

The nurse finished checking the vitals on the second patient and rattled off her findings, "Not good, Dr. Markel, heart rate's at one twenty, blood pressure's one fifty over ninety. His skin is cold and clammy, pupils are about a three and reactive, his breathing is laboured. Chris, can you hear me?" she asked her patient calmly, but received no answer as she placed the nasal canulas on his face.

"Damn, his chart said he was doing better. Give him five milligrams Haldol IV," he ordered. "Who are you?" he asked Wilmington.

"Buck Wilmington."

"Mr. Wilmington, I won't bother asking what you're doing here at this hour. Go find an orderly and tell him I need a gurney here right now."

"Dr. Hastings is on her way," Sharon told him as she returned to the room, an orderly and a gurney in tow.

Buck saw the orderly and decided to stay by Larabee's side, talking quietly to him in an effort to bring him back from whatever hell he was in.

"Let's get him back to his room," the doctor ordered. As Sharon helped the orderly wheel the unconscious man out of Larabee's room the doctor moved to the second patient's bed. "Has he responded to you at all?" he asked the nurse.

"No," she answered.

"It's like he's not there," Wilmington's worried voice filled the room as his anger over the two injured men caught up with him. "Why the hell didn't you people just let us be sitters for Chris? We could've prevented this."

"Mr. Wilmington, now is not the time for that discussion. Right now I'd like you to try and reach Mr. Larabee. Talk to him, but do it calmly. Don't let him sense any fear in your voice."

"Damn, Doc," Wilmington said as he turned away. "He was just starting to come around."

"We'll discuss all that shortly. Right now I need to check on Mr. Tanner and make sure Dr. Hastings got there. You keep talking to him. Debbie, stay with Mr.

Wilmington and Mr. Larabee."

"Yes, Doctor," Debbie answered as she continued to monitor the blond patient. "Talk to him, Mr. Wilmington."

The ladies man turned back to the bed housing his long time friend, forcing a smile to his face before speaking. "Hey, Pard, ol Buck's here. Come on now look at me. Chris, I'm right here for you, Buddy. Right where I'll always be. I'll stand by you through everything. I always have haven't I? Now you have to do something for me. You have to look at me and tell me you want me to stay. Come on, Chris, I really need to hear you tell me you want me to stay. See these doctors and nurses aren't supposed to let us stay past visiting hours so it's up to you to tell them that you want me here. Can you do that for me, Chris?"

‘Hurt him,' the words reverberated around inside Larabee's troubled mind. Those two words had been spoken by his friend to the man who'd been torturing him mentally for two days. ‘Vin, it can't be true. How can it be true. I couldn't have been that wrong about you,' he thought as the words continued to taunt him.

‘Oh, God, no, Vin, it can't be you." He drifted towards the darkness again, trying to rid himself of the nightmare that started so long ago. A night when he and Vin

Tanner had still been friends. A night when Vin's blue eyes had been warm and friendly. Now all he could see was the icy hatred of the nightmare in Vin's eyes. He shivered as he wandered closer to the darkness but couldn't complete the journey as he heard the voice of years of friendship reach out to him.

"Chris," Wilmington said as he noticed the tiniest movement of the blond head. "You can do it. Just look at me, Stud and I promise everything will be ok."

Larabee continued to fight the lethargy that seemed to reach out and encompass him, ‘Buck,' he thought he said the word but the effort to speak cost too much and he closed his eyes.

"Chris!"

"He's ok, Mr. Wilmington. He's sleeping. I'll be here with him if you want to check on Mr. Tanner."

Wilmington looked from the sleeping blond to the door and back to the blond, ‘God, he looks almost frail,' he thought as he glanced across at the nurse. "You sure he's just sleeping?"

"I'm sure," she reassured him. "The Haldol, the morphine, and his body's own weakness have caught up with him. He should sleep through the night. I'll stay here till they assign a new sitter."

"Oh no! No more sitters. From now on we take care of our own!"

"You'll have to talk to the doctors about that. Meanwhile I'll stay here," Debbie told him.

Wilmington nodded and left the room, hurrying down the hall to check on the second injured man before he called the others.

He stood in the door and watched as Sharon reinserted an IV in Vin's forearm, making sure it was running properly.

"Mr. Wilmington, please wait outside. I'll talk to you as soon as I finish with Mr. Tanner," the doctor injected a local in the area around Tanner's chest wound.

Buck clenched his fists in anger at the pale face and sweat streaked forehead of the younger man. He closed the door and leaned against the wall as he waited for the doctors to finish their work. It felt like forever before Dr. Markel and Dr. Hastings came out of the room. "Well?"

"Mr. Tanner should be fine. Some of the stitches in his chest had to be replaced. He's awake right now and asking for you. Look, Mr. Wilmington, it's against hospital policy for you to be here but I don't think Mr. Tanner will calm down until he talks to you. Just make sure you keep it brief."

"Sure, Doc," Wilmington said, the anger in his eyes not matching the calmness in his voice. He stepped into the room to find a very pale young man sitting on the edge of his bed, arguing with the nurse.

"I need to talk to Buck."

"You need to lie down, Mr. Tanner," Sharon told him.

"I'll make sure he does, Sharon," Wilmington assured her.

"Buck, how's Chris? They won't tell me anything. God, the things that creep was saying to him."

"Vin, what did he say?"

"He was calling Chris a coward and telling him he killed his own wife and son. Buck, Chris can't believe that. If he thinks he killed Sarah and Adam we're not gonna bring him back."

"We'll get him back, Vin," the ladies man tried to sound convincing but it came across lacking strength.

"Where's Sharpe?" Tanner hissed.

"The security guard took him."

"He'd better keep the son of a bitch away from me. I'll kill him, Buck!" Tanner swore. "The look on Chris's face. His eyes...they were almost empty. I need to see him!"

"He's sleeping right now, Vin," Wilmington said, neglecting to tell the younger man that Larabee had seemed like he wasn't there when he was talking to him.

"And that's what you should be doing, Mr. Tanner. Let's get you settled back in bed. I've got a shot here to help with the pain and it should also help you sleep,"

Sharon said as she injected the medication into the patient's IV.

"Don't want to sleep," Tanner said as he laid back on the bed. "Too many dreams. Don't want to be alone..." his voice trailed off as he yawned.

"I'll be here, Vin," Wilmington said.

"No, Buck, go stay with Chris. He needs you."

"You both need us," Wilmington said. "Sharon, I need to make a phone call."

"He should sleep for awhile," Sharon said as she turned down the lights and followed the moustached man out the door.

Chapter 56

"Jackson," the medic's sleepy voice answered on the second ring.

"Nathan, it's Buck."

"Buck? What time is it?"

"Two forty."

"Two forty. What's wrong?" the medic asked instantly awake.

"I don't know everything Nate. I found Vin attacking Sharpe..."

"The sitter?"

"Yeah. He was attacking Shape. Said he was saying things to Chris. Nathan, Chris won't talk about it. They had to give him more Haldol. It's almost like he's retreated again. Like those first few days. And Vin was bleeding from the chest again."

"I'm on my way, Buck," Jackson said.

"Call the others, Nathan, we need to figure out a way to make the hospital let us be sitters for Chris."

"I will, Buck. We'll be there as soon as we can."

"Thanks, Nathan," Wilmington said as he hung up the phone and turned back to Larabee's room.

He entered to find Debbie replacing the Isosource and IV fluids. "How's he doing?"

"He's still sleeping, Mr. Wilmington, and he will probably stay that way till morning. Why don't you go home and get some rest?"

"I'm going to stay with Chris," Wilmington said forcefully.

"There's a new sitter on his way here now."

"Then you can send him back. Don't you people realize what the last sitter was doing?" Wilmington asked angrily.

"Tony says he wasn't doing anything wrong. He says that Mr. Tanner attacked him for no reason."

"Vin wouldn't lie!" Wilmington grated out. "Sharpe better not come anywhere near Chris or Vin!"

"Tony's been sent home until he's called before the board. If they find evidence of wrongdoing he'll be suspended indefinitely."

"He shouldn't be working in a hospital. Especially when the patient is..."

"Fragile?"

"That's not a word I'd associate with Chris," Wilmington said.

"That's exactly what he is right now, Mr. Wilmington."

"Yeah well if that's the case he certainly doesn't need strangers in here with him. He needs his friends. His real friends. People who care about him. People who can help him find his way back to us."

"You'll have to discuss that with Dr. Midland. I'm sorry but for now the sitter has to be appointed by the hospital."

"That may be but he won't be left alone with Chris. I'm staying here," Wilmington said as he pulled the chair over and sat beside his injured friend.

Debbie knew better than to argue. She'd seen the seven men from The Firm and when one was injured the others rallied round them. With two members of The Firm in the hospital it was a wonder the others had agreed to leave in the first place. She continued to monitor her patient while she waited for the new sitter to arrive.

The ladies man sat in the chair, wishing he could get through to the pale form on the bed. He could see Larabee had lost weight, the once lean body could now be described as scrawny. "Come back, Chris, I miss that glare," he whispered.

‘Vin Tanner is the one causing all this, Chris. He's the one who hired Whelan. He's the one who paid for your torture. He's behind it all. He knows what you did to Sarah and Adam. He knows how you burned them alive. He knows how you murdered them and now he wants you to die.' The voice continued to taunt Chris even has he slept. The closer he came to waking the more the words were repeated.

‘No!' he groaned as he heard Tanner's voice once more. As Chris sank deeper into the darkness he once more heard, ‘The man you're tormenting is my friend.'

He wanted so badly to believe those words spoken by the man he considered his brother. ‘Vin, why won't you help me,' was his silent plea as the darkness won out once more.

Vin Tanner was caught in the throes of a nightmare. A nightmare world he could not wake up from. A world where Chris Larabee was made to pay for every little thing Vin Tanner did wrong. He relived the smallest mistakes he'd made and watched as Chris was made to pay tenfold. Chris's body was hardly recognizable through the bruises, broken bones, lacerations and blood. ‘Please, God, No! I'm sorry...sorry, Chris, please God.' He watched in horror as Whelan lifted a blood stained hatchet over his head and brought it down towards the blond's exposed throat.

"No!" he cried, his eyes opening wide with fear. He looked around the empty room, fighting to get the horror of the nightmare under control.

Chapter 57

Four worried, bedraggled men stepped off the elevator and strode purposefully towards the man standing at the nurse's desk.

"What happened, Buck?" Jackson asked.

"Sharpe's been saying things to Chris," Wilmington stood at the desk waiting for the others to arrive. He had a clear view of both rooms and would be able to see if anyone entered them

"What kind of things?" Standish asked.

"I don't know exactly what kind of things but Vin might."

"Is Vin alright?" Dunne asked worriedly.

"The doctors had to re-suture his chest and he's sleeping now. Dammit, Nathan, if Vin hadn't caught Sharpe he'd still be tormenting Chris. You can bet he's been doing this from the start."

"Excuse me, Gentlemen but if you don't keep it down I'll have security remove you," Sharon told them.

"Sorry," Wilmington snapped.

"Easy, Brother," Sanchez ordered.

"Easy! I can't make these people understand that it's one of their damned sitters that's causing these problems yet they won't agree with us taking over the duties.

For all we know the new one they send could make Sharpe look like an angel."

"Mr. Wilmington, hospital..."

"I don't give a damn about hospital policy. Call Stacey Midland and tell her what's happened. She'll agree to let us Sit with Chris."

"I can't do that," Sharon said.

"I can," Jackson told her, stepping to the desk and placing the call.

‘Vin, where are you? Buck, Josiah, somebody, anybody,' Chris Larabee was lost and alone. All around him were doors. Doors without handles or windows or colors. Doors he'd reach out to but could not open. He knew he'd find his friends behind one of those doors but he was afraid of what he'd find behind the others.

The first and only one he'd opened had led to a room where his ‘Sitter' stood laughing and shouting at him for being a ‘pathetic bastard'. He'd slammed that door shut and continued to walk along the narrow corridor, hoping to find something that would tell him where he belonged.

"She wants to talk to you," Jackson said as he passed the phone to the stunned nurse.

"Hello," Sharon said softly. "Yes, Doctor Midland... I understand, Doctor... Are you sure... Alright..." she said as she put the phone down.

"Well?" Sanchez asked.

"Dr. Midland said you guys can act as sitters for tonight. She'll speak with the hospital board when she comes in."

"Bout time I'd say," Wilmington mumbled.

"Just stay out of the nurse's way," Sharon warned as she walked towards Tanner's room.

"Buck."

"What, JD?"

"Is Chris alright?"

Wilmington shook his head as he thought of the almost vacant look in his old friend's eyes. "I don't know, JD. I wish to God I did but don't," he rubbed at his temples in an effort to stop the building headache.

"Mr. Wilmington, might I suggest that you go home and endeavor to catch some sleep?"

"Thanks, Ez, but I need to make sure Chris and Vin are ok."

"No, Brother, you need to go home and sleep. The rest of us can stay here with Chris and Vin," Sanchez told the ladies man.

"Buck, you're not going to be any good to either of them if you don't get some rest. I know Chris and Vin are injured but let's not forget how hard it is on all of us.

Yes all of us. It's bad enough when a friend or family member is sick but this is even worse. Chris was tortured physically but those injuries will heal, as will Vin's.

The problem now is the mental aspect. Chris and Vin have both been through so much emotionally that it'll take all of us to bring them both home," Jackson told them.

"Mr. Jackson speaks the truth, Mr. Wilmington. We're all in this together," Standish said.

"I'm not going anywhere till the hospital agrees to let us sit with Chris."

"Buck, when we meet with the hospital board we're going to need you fresh. If you go in there short tempered and angry we're not gonna get through to them,"

Sanchez said.

‘I have to be there," Josiah," Buck told him.

"We all do. If you won't go home at least go to the waiting room and get some sleep."

"You'll come wake me if anything happens?"

"Of course."

"Thanks, Josiah," Wilmington said as he walked towards the lounge.

Chapter 58

Stacey Midland looked at the still figure lying on the bed. So far nothing they tried penetrated the hell her patient was locked in. She'd watched his face for almost fifteen minutes as he struggled with something only he could see. "Come on, Chris, it's time to open those glaring green eyes of yours. I want you to open wake up and talk to us," she told him.

"Chris," Susan James said, placing a soft hand on his shoulder. "I want you to tell us what you want us to do."

Larabee heard the familiar voice but couldn't get his eyes to open. ‘Don't,' he thought as he felt someone touch him. Slowly he forced his eyes open, snapping them closed again when the light hurt his eyes. Finally he forced them open and looked around the room. "B...Buck," he mumbled. ‘W...where's Buck?' he thought, remembering the quiet voice speaking to him after the nightmare of hearing the hated voices. Once more he closed his eyes, hoping to escape the emptiness he felt.

"How do you feel, Chris?" Midland asked, not hearing the one word Larabee had spoken so softly.

The green eyes opened wide but didn't seem to focus. "D...don't want to be h...here."

"Don't want to be where, Chris?" James asked.

"Here. H...hospital. Don't want to be h...here. W...want to go h...home," Larabee turned on his side facing away from the doctors.

"Chris, you can't go home right now," Midland said.

"P...please. Can't stay h...here."

"Why can't you stay here?" James asked.

"I h...hear things," Larabee's body shivered.

"What things?"

"P...people talking. Call me n...names."

"What kind of names?" James asked.

Larabee closed his eyes, wanting nothing more than to disappear. To get away from everything that had been done to him. He knew the voice would be back. The voice telling him that Vin knew what he'd done to Sarah and Adam. Tears came to his eyes as he remembered their screams as the flames licked at them. He watched Sarah slap at the fire as it caught Adam's shirt. He screamed as the waking nightmare played out in front of his eyes. Flames leaping around the two people he loved more than life itself. The two people he'd lost because he'd dared to love them. Searing pain stabbed his head as he struggled to get to his family. "I didn't kill them!" he screamed, rocking back and forth on the bed as he struggled to remember. "I couldn't hurt them. Wouldn't kill them. Didn't kill them," he cried.

"Chris?" Midland placed her hand on his trembling shoulder, trying to get through to the traumatized man.

"I didn't," he continued to speak softly. "I didn't kill Sarah and Adam. I couldn't don't you see? I loved them both. I should've died. Not them. Not my beautiful

Sarah. Not my little boy."

"Josiah, could you talk to him?"

"Certainly, Dr. James," Sanchez said as he moved to stand beside the bed. "Chris, look at me."

Larabee tilted his head and gazed into the warm eyes of the ex-preacher. Shaking his head, his voice a constant whisper, "I didn't do it, Josiah. I didn't kill them."

Sanchez dropped the side rail on the bed and sat on the edge. Reaching forward, ignoring the bandages, IV, and Ng tubing, he gently lifted the pale blond forward.

Chris let himself be pulled up, ignoring the pain the motion caused as he felt the strength emanating from the older man.

"No, Chris, you didn't kill them," Sanchez said as he pulled the blond head onto his shoulder, feeling the thin body trembling against him.

"Oh, God, J...Josiah, I m...miss them so much," he cried, great trembling, sobs that wracked his body as he released the horror of seeing his wife and son murdered.

"I know you do, Brother, and they'll be waiting for you when the time comes."

"I want to be with them now."

"That's not possible right now, Brother. You're needed here. There's so much for you to do."

Larabee closed his eyes before speaking. "I'm n...not n...needed. Always h...hurt people. I h...hurt Buck. Shut him out when t...they d...died."

"Buck understands, Chris," Sanchez assured the younger man.

"Does he? I d...don't want to t...talk a...anymore, J...Josiah. I just w...want to s...sleep," Larabee said as he pulled away from the helping hands.

Sanchez settled the still trembling body back against the pillows. "You go ahead and sleep, Chris, I'll be here to keep you safe."

"No o...one can keep me safe, J...Josiah," Larabee closed his eyes and slept.

"Nice work, Josiah," Midland said softly.

"You got him to talk and that's good. He still has a long ways to go but it's a step in the right direction," James assured him.

"I wish I had my hands on that son of a bitch," Sanchez swore as he dug his fingernails into the palms of his hands.

"That won't help anything, Josiah. Chris needs you all right now. He needs to know that you'll be here for him," James explained.

Josiah let his shoulders slump as he stood up and grasped the edge of the bed. "Doc, you guys have got to help us," he pleaded as he glanced at the now familiar form of Jake Taylor. He trusted the man but he wanted Larabee's friends to be the ones responsible for him. "We need to be the ones watching Chris, especially after what Sharpe did."

"Tony Sharpe has been suspended until he appears before the board. Even if he is reinstated he won't be allowed anywhere near Chris," Midland told him.

"Doc, we need to be here for him. He needs friends around him not strangers who don't understand what he's been through."

"I agree," James sighed, "and that's exactly what I'm going to tell the board this afternoon."

"You'll back us up?"

"My patients come first Mr. Sanchez and I think it would be best if you and your friends provided round the clock care for Chris."

"Thanks, Dr. James, at least with you in our corner we'll have a chance."

"I'll be there as well, Josiah," Midland told him.

"Never doubted that for a minute, Doc," Sanchez assured her.

Jackson, Standish and Dunne stood next to Tanner's bed as he slowly opened his eyes. "H...hi..." he croaked as the dryness in his throat caused him to cough.

"Here you go, Vin," Dunne offered as he held a straw in front of Tanner's mouth.

Vin drank greedily before pulling away. "Is Chris alright?"

"He's sleeping, Vin. It's what you both needed."

"If I get my hands on Sharpe I'll kill the son of a bitch," Tanner ground out angrily.

"Mr. Wilmington told us what happened," Standish said.

"He doesn't know it all, Ezra. That prick was calling Chris a Pathetic bastard and telling him he'd help Chris commit suicide and telling him he was a coward for k...killing his wife and child. Tell me he's not gonna be allowed to stay with Chris anymore."

"He's been suspended pending a hearing with the hospital board. Vin, we're going to meet with the board in an hour to convince them we're the ones who should be watching Chris," Jackson explained.

"I want to be there," Tanner told him.

"I talked to your doctor and he said as long as you agree to go in a wheelchair and not get too upset you can be there," Jackson said.

"I can walk."

"Vin!"

"Oh, hell, Nathan, alright."

"Trust me, Mr. Sanchez, I'll make sure he's alright."

"Jake, I've seen you with Chris the last few days and I do trust you. I would stay but I think it's important we all show up at this meeting. It's going to be hard enough to convince them we're right as it is."

"I hope you're successful," Taylor said as the other man left the room. He stepped up to the bed once more and in a fatherly gesture touched the blond's forehead.

"Your friends will be much better company for you, Chris. They know better than anyone what to do for you," he whispered.

"Vin," Larabee's sleepy voice whispered, before he slipped back into the darkness.

"I'm not Vin, Son, but I have a feeling he's the only one who can reach you and bring you all the way back," Taylor said as he moved to his chair.

Chapter 59

"This board will now hear from Dr. Midland," the moderator said.

Stacey looked at the six men seated around her, before her eyes came to rest on the pale face of Vin Tanner. She nodded to him as she took the seat in front of the large table. The sun shining down from the overhead skylight made the room warmer than it should have been.

"Dr. Midland, you're here with a request to have Chris Larabee provided with a sitter outside the hospital system."

"Yes, Dr. Marlow, I think it's important to Mr. Larabee's recovery both mentally and physically. As you know he was the victim of a professional torturer. This man has left scars not only on Mr. Larabee's body but on his mind as well. I can show you the physical damage but I'll leave the mental aspects to Dr. James. Physically he's been put through the proverbial wringer. His hands are still swollen from nails embedded in them, he had bamboo shoots slipped under his fingernails and we had to remove four of them. He's got a broken wrist and some broken ribs as well. He's got three lacerations that needed stitching. His wrists, ankles, and neck also have abrasions caused by the manacles and the convulsions he's been suffering from. Those are the physical reasons and now I'd like to turn to Dr. James for the mental reasons."

"Dr. James, would you please come forward."

Susan James stepped up to the table and took the seat vacated by Midland. "I'd like you all to consider what Dr. Midland told you about Mr. Larabee's physical condition and the events leading up to them. I've worked in this field for over a decade and I've treated torture victim's a few times. The victim isn't always placed on Suicide watch but I deemed it pertinent that Mr. Larabee be placed on one. He's not only been tortured physically and mentally but was also subjected to an unknown drug. The drug was causing him to have severe convulsions when he was first brought in but they've since subsided, although he has suffered a few recently.

He's refusing to eat, drink or take oral medications and is having severe nightmares as a result of the emotional trauma he's suffered. He's been convinced that he murdered his wife and son and that the man behind the torture was none other than his best friend Vin Tanner," she explained, her eyes falling on the pale man in the wheelchair. "Right now he's emotionally unstable and needs his friends close to him, not some stranger who doesn't understand what he's been through."

"We've heard those arguments before, Doctor," the moderator told her. "Is there anything else before we make our decision?"

"I'd like to say something," Tanner ground out as the anger he'd been holding in check since the Sharpe incident made itself known.

"And you are?"

"Vin Tanner."

The moderator's eyes shot up, "The man supposedly responsible for what happened to Mr. Larabee?"

Tanner's blue eyes turned to ice as he looked at the grey haired man before him. "I'd never hurt Chris Larabee."

"Are you also the man who attacked one of out employees last night?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Wilmington shouted. "Vin didn't attack anyone!"

"According to Tony Sharpe," the man seated next to the moderator said as he picked up a file. "Vin Tanner attacked him in Mr. Larabee's room without provocation."

"And you believe him?" Sanchez asked.

"We have no evidence of any wrongdoing on his part."

"Let me tell you what your so called employee was doing when I caught him last night!" Tanner fought to keep the anger from destroying their only chance to protect

Chris. "When I opened the door he was bent over Chris telling him that he was a pathetic bastard..."

"Mr. Tanner, that language will not be tolerated," the moderator stated.

"And neither will that kind of treatment of my friend. He's been through enough without being abused by one of your people who's supposed to be protecting him.

Sharpe was repeating the same thing Whelan was filling Chris's head with..." Tanner grimaced, his eyes opening wide as he dropped heavily into his chair.

"Vin?" Jackson said as he knelt in front of the pale man.

"Are you alright, Vin?" Midland asked, worried that letting Tanner attend the meeting had been a bad decision as he continued to pale noticeably.

Tanner looked at Jackson, regret and pain in his eyes. "Sharpe was telling Chris the same God damned things Whelan was. He's got to be working for Wilcox!"

"Fuck, no wonder Chris reacted the way he did," Wilmington snarled.

"Excuse me but would you people mind telling us what you're talking about?" the moderator asked.

"Sharpe is working for the man who caused all of this," Sanchez told the panel dryly.

"How do you know that?"

"Chris was told some pretty damning things by Whelan, the man hired by Wilcox," Jackson explained. "None of it was true but with the drugs, the torture, and the lack of sleep Chris was easily susceptible to those suggestions."

"It's still just Mr. Tanner's word against Mr. Sharpe's," the moderator remained unconvinced.

"Can we take the chance that Tony Sharpe wasn't doing what Mr. Tanner says he was doing? I'm willing to stake my reputation that Mr. Larabee needs his men, his friends, with him right now. He needs to see familiar faces not strangers. Mr. Larabee is a smart man and he knows why Jake Taylor and Tony Sharpe were in his room. I honestly feel that it's in his best interests as well as the interest of this hospital to let these gentlemen take over the job of watching Chris Larabee," James told the board.

"Dr. James, we'll discuss this amongst ourselves and let you know when we reach a decision. For now Jake Taylor will remain in Mr. Larabee's room. Let me finish," the moderator said as six men and two doctors made to protest his decision. "One of you gentlemen, excluding Mr. Tanner, will be allowed to stay in the room as well. Is that acceptable?"

"That'll be fine," Midland said, surprised at even this small bit of leniency.

"But..."

"Buck, it's a start at least they didn't say no," Jackson said.

"Vin, I think it's time we got you back to your room," Midland suggested.

"Can I look in on Chris?"

"If he's sleeping," James told him.

Chapter 60

Vin studied the figure of his friend. He could tell Chris was dreaming by the way his eyes moved behind his lids. He smiled as he noticed the smile on the pale face.

He hoped the dreams were good ones and that Larabee's nightmares would not be repeated.

Chris felt someone watching him and opened his eyes part way. He could barely make out the figure sitting outside the door to his room. ‘Vin,' he thought and for the first time the terror that name evoked was not present. ‘Help me, Vin,' he thought as he saw the sharpshooter staring at him.

‘I'm here, Cowboy,' Tanner thought.

"Vin," Larabee's voice whispered softly, pleading for the other man to come forward.

"It's time to go back to your room, Vin," Jackson said.

"Just a little longer, Nathan."

"Sorry, Vin, you need to rest," Jackson said as he turned the chair away from the door.

"D...don't go," the almost inaudible voice pleaded.

Taylor's head snapped up as he heard the pleading voice from the bed. He looked to the door and noticed the two men moving away.

"Vin," Larabee called again, reaching out for the lifeline that seemed to be moving further away. He closed his eyes and pleaded for the younger man to come back.

‘Vin, please, I need you,' he thought.

Tanner's head snapped up as he felt something he hadn't felt in a while, the almost quicksilver effect of the intangible connection he had with the blond. "Nathan, get me back there," he gasped.

"Vin, you need to rest."

"No, Nathan, I can feel him. He's here," Tanner said touching his forehead in an effort to ease the pain growing there.

"Mr. Jackson," Taylor called.

Jackson turned and looked at the older man. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I think Chris is calling out for Mr. Tanner," Taylor said.

"This could be the breakthrough we've been looking for," James observed as she walked towards them, Larabee's chart in her hands.

"Let me go to him," Tanner pleaded.

"Vin," James said. "I'm willing to let you go see him but the minute he starts getting agitated you'll have to leave."

"Anything, just let me go to him."

"Vin," Larabee called to his friend, pleading for him to come back. He closed his eyes and felt the loneliness close over him once again. ‘Why, Vin, why won't you help me?'

"Chris?"

Larabee was afraid to open his eyes, afraid the voice he heard belonged to another nightmare.

"Come on, Cowboy, look at me," Tanner's voice was soft and tinged with hope.

Green eyes opened halfway, the left hand reached out, the mouth opened and a cry filled with rage and pain ripped from Larabee's throat. "Vin!" he cried and felt the onslaught of a convulsion, his body beginning to arch upwards on the bed.

"Vin, you have to go!" James ordered.

"No!" Larabee screamed as he thrust his left arm through the railing, latching tightly to the hand he felt there.

"I'm here, Cowboy, I won't let go," Tanner's voice filled the room with his own pain as the two men held tightly to the lifeline they'd been given.

James pressed the button on Larabee's bed, calling for the nurse to bring five milligrams of Haldol as she watched her patient's body continue to arch up on the bed.

"Vin, h...help m...me," the blond gasped.

"Chris," Tanner cried as he pushed the wheelchair away and stood beside the bed, his hand clutched tightly in the blond's.

"No m...more," Larabee shouted as he forced his face towards Tanner's voice, even as his body convulsed violently.

James watched the nurse inserted the needle into the IV and waited for it to take affect.

Finally the blond's exhausted body dropped back on the bed and he fought to get air into his lungs. "Vin, finally found the right door," Larabee whispered, his eyes never leaving his friends face. The nurse immediately began taking his vitals.

"I'm here, Chris," Tanner said, unable to stop the tears of relief that welled in his eyes.

"Why, Vin?" Larabee asked, yawning as the cumulative effects of the sedative and the convulsion took it's toll. "Why'd Whelan do this to me?"

"We'll talk about that later, Chris," James told him. "For now I want you to get some sleep."

"Don't want to sleep," Larabee said, watching the blue eyes of his friend as a nurse once more placed nasal canulas over his head.

"Why?" James asked.

"Whelan's there. H...he," another yawn and Chris' eyes closed. "He tells me Vin wants me punished."

"I don't want that, Cowboy," Tanner whispered close to his ear.

Larabee forced his eyes open, fighting the lethargy caused by his overtaxed body, "I k...knew t...that all along, Vin, I just didn't r...realize it before," Larabee smiled as he slipped into a dreamless sleep.

"Doc?"

James smiled at the younger man. "It's a start, Vin, a very good start. I just don't want you thinking everything will be fine now because it won't. Chris reached out for you today and I hope he continues to do so but you all need to realize it's just the beginning. Just because he made this first step doesn't mean he's cured. It's a step in the right direction and we'll try our best to see that he keeps going that way."

"I want to stay with him."

"No, Vin, you're exhausted. Go back to your room and get some rest. You can come back later if you feel up to it," she told him.

"I'll be here," Tanner smiled, a real smile that made it to his eyes for the first time since the ordeal began.

"Sit, Vin," Jackson ordered, also letting the relief show on his face.

The sharpshooter's legs felt like rubber as he lowered his body into the chair. "He's coming back, Nathan," he grinned as he was taken from his friends room. He couldn't help the smile that broadened on his face as he watched Wilmington and Dunne come towards them.

"Vin?" Wilmington asked, surprised at the look on the younger man's face.

"Chris knows, Buck," Tanner told him.

"Knows what?" Dunne asked.

"He knows I didn't do this to him. He knows it wasn't me."

"How do you know," Wilmington asked, elated at the piece of good news he'd just received.

"He called to me. He told me he knew all along I had nothing to do with it."

"Thank God," the ladies man smiled. "Now if the damn board would come to their senses we could make sure nothing else happens to either of you. I'm going to stay with Chris. JD'll stay with Vin while you get some rest, Nathan."

"I am tired, Buck. I'll go home as soon as we get Vin settled away."

"Alright, Nate," Tanner grinned.

Chapter 61

******‘The chair! Oh, God not again,' he thought as he struggled against the bonds.

"No!" he screamed as he felt his hand held in a tight grip.

"Vin wants you punished! He knows what you did to Sarah and Adam!"

"Didn't do anything!" he screamed as he felt the nail bite into his hand.

"You burned them alive! You're a pathetic Bastard who can't even take his own life properly! I'll help you do it right!"

"No!" as another nail embedded into his knee!

"You have to be punished! You killed them and Vin wants you punished!"

"I didn't kill anyone. Vin knows! Please! He knows! Oh, Christ, No!" he screamed as the scalpel bit into his side.

"Vin knows what you did! He knows you're a murderer! He wants you to believe him! He wants you to trust him! He's paying for all of this!"

"No! He didn't, he wouldn't," the blond sobbed as the nail gun was placed over his heart.

"He says you must die!"********

Wilmington sat beside the bed watching the ongoing struggle on the blond's face. The silence in the room was shattered by a bloodcurdling scream from the pale form.

"NO!"

Wilmington jumped from his chair and reached for the blond, "Chris it's alright. It's just a dream."

"No!" Larabee's anguished cry stabbed through the ladies man's heart.

"Come on, Stud, ol Buck'll keep you safe."

"No! P...please don't. Don't! N...not again!" the blond pleaded, his body shrinking under the blanket.

"Chris, I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you. I'm here. I'll always be here," Wilmington promised.

Green eyes opened slowly, tears slipping from them as Larabee struggled to awaken. "B...Buck?"

"I'm here, Chris. You're safe. It was a dream."

"Not a dream...real...need V...Vin. Need to know he d...doesn't w...want me d...dead."

"Vin doesn't want you dead, Chris."

"I want to see him. T...talk to h...him," the blond begged, his eyes moving around the room searching for something he couldn't put his finger on.

"I'll get him," Wilmington said, unnerved by the fear he saw in his friend's eyes. He glanced at Jake Taylor, knowing the man could be trusted. "I'll be right back."

Taylor nodded but remained seated, preferring not to remind the injured man he was there.

Chris turned on his side, facing away from the pumps that fed him with IV fluids, antibiotics, and nutrition. ‘Come on, Larabee! Get a grip! Stop acting like a snivelling idiot! Vin's not gonna hurt you! Vin's always been your friend.' The tiny voice kept repeating in his mind.

Susan James stood by the door, watching as Jackson pushed Tanner up to the bed. She had Larabee's chart open and was making notes on his reaction.

"Chris."

Larabee's body jerked at the sound of the familiar voice so close to him. He slowly turned towards the voice, intent on keeping his body under control. "V...Vin."

"Yeah, Cowboy. How're you feeling?"

"I don't know, Vin. Confused, angry, betrayed, hurt," he answered, still unable to make himself look into the blue eyes. His left hand clenched tightly into a fist as he forced his eyes towards the man he considered his friend.

"I'm sorry, Cowboy. I didn't mean to hurt you," Tanner said.

"Oh, God, it was you. I heard you, Vin. I heard you with Sharpe!" Larabee moved away from the younger man, missing the pained look his words caused. "I heard you tell him to hurt me! It was you. It was you. It was you."

"No, Chris, remember it wasn't me," Tanner's anguished voice cried.

"It was you! It was you!" Larabee kept repeating as he moved further up in the bed.

"Mr. Jackson, take Vin back to his room," James ordered. "Chris, listen to me."

"It was you!" Larabee moaned, his body stuffed as far up on the bed as he could possibly get it.

"No, Chris," Tanner gasped as he watched the lifeline slipping through his fingers. Jackson pulled the chair away from the bed and out the door.

"Chris, you need to relax," James ordered as she depressed the button on the bed.

"It was you! It was you!" the three words were a constant litany as Larabee kept pulling away from Susan James.

"What's going on?" Parker asked as he hurried into the room, followed closely by Carol Locke.

"He was fine earlier when Vin Tanner visited but something set him off again. He actually asked to see Mr. Tanner. I think he's reacting to something Mr. Tanner said," she explained as she reached for the now quiet but trembling man. "Help me get him back down in the bed," she ordered.

"No..."

"Come on, Chris, let's get you comfortable," Parker said.

"No..."

"Chris."

"No," he whispered as he fought to stay awake.

Carefully the two doctors and the primary care nurse unfolded his body and helped him back down on the bed.

Larabee's eyes closed but flashed open again as he continued to repeat one word. "No..."

"No what, Chris?" James asked.

"No...can't sleep. Not allowed to sleep. Won't let me sleep..." he yawned as his eyes grew heavy.

"Chris, you are allowed to sleep. Just relax and let the medications help you," James tried to reassure him.

"Whelan's there...In my dreams...nightmares."

"Nightmares are not real, Chris."

"Some are," the blond muttered as he lost the battle to stay awake.

Parker carefully examined the bandages on Larabee's body. Each time he had a convulsion or struggled to get away from a nightmare, the sutures on the healing wounds re-opened and caused heavy bleeding. This was once again the case with the laceration on the abdomen. The bandage was soaked through, evidence that he would need to re-suture the wound again. "Carol, can you bring in the suture cart?"

"Yes, Tom," Locke said as she left the room.

"Tom, I'm going to check on Mr. Tanner. He was pretty upset when he left here."

"Alright, Susan," Parker answered as he continued to examine the sleeping patient.

Chapter 62

"Vin, he'll be alright."

"Will he, Nate? I don't think so. He's back where he started. He believes I did this to him," Tanner said as he dropped heavily to the bed.

"Vin."

Tanner and Jackson turned to see Susan James standing in the door.

"How is he, Doc?" Tanner asked, his face pale and filled with anguish.

"He's sleeping right now. I wanted to see how you're doing."

"I'm fine," the injured man hissed as he sat up in the bed. "What happened? He seemed so much better the last time I saw him."

"Vin, I warned you not to expect to much to soon. Chris showed signs of coming out of the depression and he will. But it'll take time. Torture is a painful thing to deal with, both mentally and physically. It can take away one's dignity, self esteem, as well as his sense of being. It can make you feel less than human and it's extremely hard to fight back from something like that. Right now Chris is very confused and he doesn't know what he's doing or saying most of the time. The next time he sees you he may want to reach out and touch you or he may react the way he did today. Certain words or phrases that he associates with what happened to him could effect him. I think that's what happened today. He seemed fine but something set him off. Do you remember exactly what you said to him?"

"I told him I was sorry and that I didn't mean to hurt him," Tanner told her.

"Ah, that's probably it," James said knowingly.

"What?" Jackson asked.

"When Vin apologized for hurting him, Chris took it to mean he actually did hurt him."

"What?"

"I didn't. That's not w...what I m...meant," the long-haired man stammered.

"I know that, Vin. But when you said ‘I didn't mean to hurt you', Chris's confused mind immediately made the connection between you and the pain he feels."

"Oh, God, I'm doing it again."

"You did nothing wrong, Vin," Jackson assured the younger man as the door opened and Stacy Midland stepped into the room.

"I just spoke with Tom. Chris is going to be fine, Vin," she explained. "I've come with some good news for all of you."

"We could use some," Jackson told her.

"The board has agreed that you gentlemen can be co-sitters for Chris."

"What do you mean co-sitters?" Tanner asked.

"The hospital feels it can't in all conscience leave this job to you alone. The Board feels it would be in the best of both parties if there were two sitters. One from the hospital and one from your group. It's the only way they'll agree to let you guys stay after visiting hours."

"At least it's something. One of us will stay with Chris and Vin at all times," Jackson said.

"I had a feeling you'd say that so I spoke with the board and they've agreed to let one of you stay with Vin as well."

"How'd you manage to get them to agree to that?" James asked.

"I told them these guys would do it with or without their permission. You've proven that before," Midland smiled at the two men.

"Thanks, Doc," Jackson returned her smile.

"Vin, I've noted you haven't been sleeping very well. Would you like something to help you?" James asked.

"No, thanks, Doc, but no," Tanner was adamant as he looked at the three faces in his room.

"I'm writing up orders for a mild sleeping pill. Just let the nurses know if you change your mind," James told him.

"Thanks, Doc," Tanner said as he relaxed against the pillows. He kept the anger and frustration off his face as he thought about the horror Gary Wilcox continued to cause in Chris Larabee's life. Closing his eyes was an exercise in futility as he relived the moment when Larabee screamed as the nails and other tortures were applied to his body.

Chapter 63

"They know what you were doing you idiot!" Wilcox hissed sharply as he gripped the cell phone tightly in his hands. "How can you finish the job when you can't get near Larabee?"

"I can do it. I haven't been fired. Just suspended. I can still get into the hospital. Just give me a chance, Mr. Wilcox. Chris Larabee will commit suicide within the next few days," Sharpe assured his boss.

"I have a lot riding on this. I need to be sure you can do the job."

"I can. You just make sure you have the money ready for me."

"The money is not a problem. Larabee must die by his own hand and Vin Tanner must be there to see him do it."

"Yes, Sir, I know that and I will do it. It'll be a pleasure to take Tanner down a peg!"

"You're not to kill him until I get there!"

"I know. My pleasure comes from pushing Larabee over the edge. Making him take his own life. He's pathetic as are all suicides," Sharpe hissed.

"Just get the job done before the police get a statement from him. He's the only person who can place me with Whelan at the damn Warehouse."

"It'll be my pleasure," Sharpe grinned as he thought of tormenting the injured man again.

"I'll be waiting to hear from you," Wilcox turned off his phone and once more studied the wall of pictures. Pictures of Vin Tanner and Chris Larabee. Pictures with lines drawn threw the faces of the two men. "I'll have my revenge, Vin. Larabee will still pay the price for your broken promise. He will die and you will watch knowing it's because of you. Die, you son of a bitch!" he shouted as he picked up a letter opener and continuously stabbed at the picture of the smiling men dressed in hockey uniforms.

Chapter 64

Chris opened his eyes and looked around the room. He had no idea how long he'd been out this time. He was growing tired of not being able to control his own life, make his own decisions. They wouldn't let him do what he wanted. He wanted out. He wanted the pain to end. The loneliness to fade. He didn't want to continue with the knowledge that he'd caused his best friend to turn against him. His nightmare world continued around him no matter what he did. He knew if he opened his eyes the sitter, whether it was Jake or someone else, would be there.

Whelan had succeeded in taking away his sense of safety and replacing it with fear. Somehow what the sitter did, without even realizing it was take away his dignity.

He knew the hospital and his friends didn't trust him and they'd taken control of his life.

He hated being in this position but knew there was nothing he could do about it except keep what little control he felt he had. He knew they could force the medications and the nutrition on him but he didn't have to take it willingly. His control, in this, was that he could say no. He could close his eyes and tune them all out.

‘I can tune out the world and maybe people like Whelan, Wilcox and T...Tanner won't get to me. Dammit, Larabee, stop being such a fuckin' coward!' he thought angrily.

"Chris."

‘Josiah. Don't want to talk to you,' he thought.

"Come on, Brother, you've been laying there in bed pretending you're asleep. I know better than that. You've slept for almost twenty hours and you have work to do."

"No," Larabee muttered.

"Good morning, Chris, it's time for your physio," Peggy said as she lowered the railing on the bed.

"No!"

"Are we back to this?" Peggy asked as she lifted the blonde's left hand. She removed the bandage and began working his injured fingers. She felt him trying to pull away from her grasp. "Now you know that's not going to work. We need to get you mobile and this is the only way."

Larabee opened his eyes and glared angrily at the therapist. "We? Why do you people always say we? It's not we! It's me! I don't want your help! I don't want anyone's help! Don't you people understand. I want control back! I want my life back! I don't want to be afraid anymore! I want to make my own decisions!" he screamed at the woman before him, ignoring the shocked look on the therapist's face. Missing Sanchez's hand reaching out and pressing the button to call for help.

"Just get the hell away from me and leave me alone!" he continued to scream at her, his breathing labored as his injured ribs throbbed with each outburst.

"Easy, Brother," Sanchez soothed as he stood up and placed his hand on Larabee's shoulder.

"Nothing's easy anymore, Josiah! Not one damn thing'll ever be easy again. Look at me! Look at what he did to me. Look at what Vin did to me!" he cried, angry tears coming to his eyes. "You stay away from me!" he shouted as Susan James and Carol Locke entered the room.

"Chris, what's wrong?" James asked.

"What's wrong? Look at me! Do you have any idea what it's like to be tortured? Well I have first hand knowledge. You people just leave me the hell alone," he shouted as he struggled off the bed before anyone could react. His bare feet hit the cold floor as he pulled the IV from his arm. "I don't want your help! I don't want anyone's help!" he gasped as his injured knee gave out and he grabbed at the bed, agony ripping through his fingers and arm as he tried to hold on. He felt hands on his arm and struggled to get away from them. "No! I told you all to leave me alone."

"You've never been alone, Brother," Sanchez assured the now sobbing man.

Locke went to move in but James held her arm. "Wait," she mouthed.

"I've always been alone, Josiah, and I should've stayed that way. Sarah and Adam would be alive now if it wasn't for me."

"No, Chris, that's not true. Sarah loved you and Adam was a precious gift of the love you shared. Without you and Sarah there would never have been an Adam and this world is a better place for having known him even if it was only for a short time," the ex-preacher continued to talk softly to the younger man.

"Why, Josiah? Why did God take them from me?"

"Only God can answer that, Brother, all I can tell you is they'll be waiting for you when your time comes."

"I want to be with them," Larabee sobbed into the older man's chest, ignoring the pain from his leg, hand and ribs.

Sanchez took a cotton ball from Carol and held it to the tiny puncture wound from the hastily extracted IV.

"Made a mess of things," Larabee whispered as he looked at the blood on the bandage. "Always make a mess of things."

"That's not so, Chris."

"Yes it is. Made a mess of things with Vin. He must hate me."

"Vin doesn't hate you, Brother."

"Sure he does. You all do," the blond muttered, pulling away from Sanchez's touch. "Leave me alone, Josiah, before I ruin your life as well."

"No, Chris, I'm not willing to leave you alone and neither will the others. We'll be here for you. We'll help you through all of this."

Larabee wanted so badly to believe him but he couldn't take that chance. He couldn't let the others back in. He couldn't risk hurting anyone else because of his own selfish needs. He'd been alone before, he hadn't liked it, but he'd been able to survive. Now he'd be alone again but he'd take back control of his own mistakes.

Raising his head he looked at Josiah Sanchez, fear and anger written on his face. "I don't want your help!" he snarled as he managed to get his trembling legs under him. "I don't need it and I don't want it. Now get out of my way!"

"Where do you think you're going, Chris?" James asked.

"Wherever I damn well please," Larabee hissed.

"You know that's not going to happen. Why don't you get back in the bed," Sanchez said.

"No! You people are not going to control me anymore. I'm going to do what I want for a change."

"Ok, Chris, what is it you want to do?"

"Don't patronize me, Dr. James," Larabee hissed the name sarcastically.

"I'm not patronizing you, Chris. If you'll tell us what you want to do maybe we can help you."

"I want out of here. I want control of my life back!"

"You have to work for those things. If you'll let us help you it'll happen sooner than you think."

"It's gonna happen right now!" the blond shouted, reaching up to pull out the NG tube.

"No, Brother," Sanchez warned as he grabbed the younger man's arm.

"Let me go, Josiah!" Larabee shouted angrily.

"I can't do that, Chris," the ex-preacher said as he pulled the blond's hand away from the tube, pulling him into a gentle embrace.

"Goddammit, Josiah, leave me alone!" he screamed as he fought to get away from the older man's shielding arms. He struggled against the support provided by

Sanchez, anger slowly leaving his body. "I can't do this anymore. Don't you understand what that son of a bitch did to me? He took everything from me, Josiah. He took Vin's friendship from me. He took all of you from me."

Sanchez held him through it all. He kept a firm hold on the blond, feeling the trembling that continued to assault his body.

"I hate him! I hate what he did to me! I hate living with this, Josiah!"

"Living with what, Brother?"

"Living with the pain of knowing Sharpe is right."

"Sharpe is right about what, Chris?"

"Sharpe is right about me being a pathetic bastard," Larabee gasped as the pain he'd held in check up to this point made itself known.

"No you're not, Chris, You're a man! A man who's been through hell more times than he deserves! A man who's fought his way back from every harsh reality life throws his way. A man I respect and admire for his strength."

"Don't admire me, Josiah, I don't deserve it," Larabee muttered as his eyes grew heavy.

"You deserve it more than anyone else I've ever known, Chris Larabee and I will be there when you triumph over this latest trial," the ex-preacher told him, reaching down and picking the thin body up in his arms.

"Put him on the bed," James said softly, not wanting to disturb the now quiet man.

Josiah placed Larabee back on the bed and was surprised when the injured man looked up at him. "Thanks, Josiah."

"No thanks necessary, Brother, friends look out for one another," Sanchez assured the younger man.

"Chris, we're going to restart your IV, Ok?" Locke told him.

"Would it matter if I said no?"

"It might. What if we gave you a choice?"

"What kind of choice?" he asked hopefully.

"If you agree to take your medications and eat and drink then we can dispense with the IV."

"That's not a choice. That's blackmail."

"That's all I can offer you right now."

He turned away from the people in the room. "Never be in control again," he muttered as he felt someone touching his hand. He felt something cool on the injured limbs and then new bandages were applied.

"Chris, Peggy needs to finish with your physio. Do you want something for the pain?" Locke asked.

"No," his tired voice replied. He felt the therapist work on his body, flexing the joints, making sure everything remained in working order. He bit his lip at the pain she was causing, knowing to protest would be a lesson in futility.

Carol Locke left the room, nodding to James as she left.

"Doc, can I speak with you outside?" Sanchez asked.

James stepped through the door, keeping her eyes on her patient as the therapist carefully worked on his injuries. "What is it, Mr. Sanchez?"

"You heard what Chris said about Sharpe."

"I did."

"I want that man fired and I'm going to see if there's any way to press charges against him."

"I will speak with the board but it could take a couple of days before they make a decision. Rest assured I will do everything in my power to make sure he never works in this or any other hospital."

"Thanks, Doc," Sanchez's grateful voice told her as he returned to the room.

"All done, Chris," Peggy patted his shoulder as she replaced the blanket over his still trembling body. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"How are you feeling, Chris?" James asked as she stepped up to the bed.

"Feel like shit," Larabee answered.

"Are you in pain, Brother?" Sanchez asked.

"Yeah, Josiah, lately it never seems to go away."

"It will," James told him as Carol and another nurse came into the room.

"Chris, I'm going to restart your IV," Locke explained as she reached out and took his left arm.

He knew there was no point in fighting. They'd do it whether he wanted them to or not. He kept his eyes closed as they slid the tiny needle into his forearm. It wasn't long before he felt the fluids entering his body again. He looked towards Carol Locke as she reattached the Morphine pump to the tubing and waited for the medication to deaden the pain. Finally his eyes closed and he floated back towards the dreams he knew would be waiting for him. The dreams he didn't want to face.

Chapter 65

The next few days passed in a haze for Chris Larabee. He'd wake up to find one of his men in the room with him. The sitter provided by the hospital was also present but Chris refused to look at him. He listened as whoever was keeping him company regaled him with tales of the outside world. A world away from the tiny room he resided in. They read to him from the newspaper, they tuned the TV to the sports channel, They placed headphones over his ears so he could listen to his favorite music, and sometimes they just sat talking to him about nothing.

The injured man just lay on the bed, not talking, not showing any interest in what they told him. He lay quietly through the ministrations of the nurses, therapists, and doctors, answering only when someone asked him a question. He pretended to watch the TV but never saw anything that happened on the screen. He never complained, never laughed and his friends were getting worried. They knew something had to be done in order to bring him back to the fold. They also knew it wouldn't happen till he came to grips with the horror of what happened to him.

The dream came every time he closed his eyes, whether he was asleep or not, it assaulted his very being. He'd lost his family to a mad person who remained unknown. Now he'd been told he'd killed them. In his heart and deep in his subconscious he knew he hadn't done it but the horror of the last two weeks convinced him it was all his fault. He wanted so much to talk with Vin. To tell Vin he understood why the younger man thought he should be punished but he didn't want to face the loss of the sharpshooter's friendship again.

His hands were healing, as was the rest of his body, but his mind continued to dwell on the fear and pain Whelan had wreaked on his body and mind.

He'd called himself every degrading name he could think of in an effort to get past his nightmares but nothing helped. He stared straight at the TV not seeing anything on the screen but afraid to close his eyes. Suddenly he heard the words his wife had spoken to him on the day of their wedding. ‘Chris, you are the strongest man I know but your heart is filled with a tenderness beyond anything I've ever known. You've shown me what love can be like. You've shown me what friendship can mean between two people who love each other. You've proved to me that you are a man who can overcome anything. If there ever comes a day where you think you haven't got the strength you need then reach out for me. I'll be there. I'll hold you in my arms. I'll show you that any and all things are possible. Lean on me, Chris, and let me lean on you. I love you, Christopher Larabee and I always will.' His eyes misted with unshed tears as her remembered words gave him strength and hope.

"Chris?"

Larabee turned to Buck Wilmington, his eyes giving away the fear he felt. He knew Buck wanted to help him. He'd always been there, always cared for him. Chris couldn't remember a time when the ladies man had not been in his life. The moustached man's friendship was something he valued but he'd been neglecting that since the death of his family. Something about their friendship gave Chris a ray of hope and he once more grasped for it.

"Chris, can I get you something?"

"My family," Larabee answered, not realizing the devastating effect those two words had on Wilmington.

"You know I can't do that, Chris. Ask me for anything else and I'll get it for you."

"Can you give me back my life? Give me back the freedom I had before that bastard came after me and Vin," Larabee shouted, his eyes narrowing as he said the last name. "Buck, they took Vin from me."

"No they didn't, Chris. Vin's just down the hall and he'd like nothing more than to see you."

"Then take me to him," Larabee ordered.

"Chris."

"Please, Buck, I have to see him. I have to know that this nightmare will end. I have to know that I can face him without letting the terror come over me. I need you to do this for me. I need him. I need you both. I need you all," Larabee whispered.

"Let me talk to Dr. James. If she says I can take you to his room then I'll do it."

"Thanks, Buck," Larabee said, closing his eyes and fighting against the images he saw there. He moaned as he relived everything Whelan did to him. He waited for

Wilmington's return with a mixture of hope and fear. He knew he had to face Vin Tanner before it was too late and he lost that friendship forever. His mind wandered back over the two years that had passed since he'd met the younger man. They'd gone from a simple friendship to calling each other brothers. He wanted that friendship, that brotherhood back and he was going to fight to get it.

‘The man you're tormenting is my friend and so long as I've got breath in my body nobody will ever hurt him again. Do I make myself clear?' The words, spoken in anger by Vin, came back to him and he finally understood what he'd heard. Vin never wanted to hurt him. He'd been trying to stop Sharpe from tormenting him.

"Chris."

Larabee looked up into the eyes of Susan James. "Doc."

"Buck tells me you want to see Vin," Larabee nodded hopefully. "Alright, but you have to do as I say."

"I will. I have to do this, Doc. I need to know I can do this."

"Alright, you just wait here till I get a wheelchair," she ordered.

"I can walk."

"I don't think so, Stud," Wilmington said as James left.

"Thanks, Buck," Larabee said, his face conveying the honesty behind his words.

"For what?"

"For being here. For always being here," the blond told him as James and Carol Locke walked back into the room.

"Let's get you out of that bed," Locke said with a grin.

Larabee fought the vertigo as they helped him from the bed. He groaned as his injured leg came to rest against the bottom of the chair.

"You alright, Stud?"

"I'm fine, Buck," he answered automatically.

Once he was seated Locke draped a thin blanket over his legs, then reached for the IV pole and the Isosource pump. It wasn't long before the little entourage, including the hospital appointed sitter made their way to Tanner's room.

Chapter 66

Tanner was caught in his own nightmare world. He was angered that Wilcox had managed to take away the one thing he valued above all else. His friendship with

Chris Larabee meant more to Vin than he'd ever admitted before. Chris was his brother, a chosen brother who he thought would always be there. Gary had taken that away from him. He knew JD was in the room with him but he wasn't in the mood to talk so he kept his eyes closed and let the nightmares play out behind his closed lids.

JD looked to the door as it opened, his mouth dropping open as he saw the people standing there. He never said a word but moved away from the bed.

Vin heard the younger man move away but still didn't open his eyes. He knew he'd have to talk with the kid sooner or later but right now he wanted to be alone.

"Vin?"

The sharpshooter's eyes shot open at the familiar voice. He sat up too quick and groaned as light danced before his eyes.

"Take it easy, Vin," Wilmington said as he stepped up to the bed.

Tanner's eyes never left the frail looking body in the wheelchair, "Chris," he drawled hopefully.

"I had to see you, V...Vin. Had to make sure my mind wasn't playing tricks on me," Larabee said, nobody interrupted as they moved away from the two men, affording the blond a chance to talk openly. "Whelan's words keep repeating in my head," he cried as he grasped at his temples. "I keep hearing him say you were the one doing this to me. I know in my heart it's not true but my mind hasn't registered the fact yet," Larabee dropped his gaze, afraid to meet the blue eyes of his friend.

"Chris," Tanner spoke softly, reaching out and placing his hands on the blond's trembling shoulder. "Look at me," he waited for Larabee to comply. It seemed to take forever before the sorrowful green eyes lifted to meet his. "I would never do anything to harm you in any way. I swear if I could take it all away I would. What they did to you was my fault and I should have been able to stop them!"

"No! Not your fault! You did nothing wrong, Vin. You tried to protect me from Sharpe and what did I do? I accused you of being the one to hurt me. Oh, God, I was so wrong," he gasped. "I'm sorry, Vin, I didn't mean to hurt you!"

Tanner came off the bed and knelt before the man in the chair, his own eyes misting as he heard the pain in the older man's voice. "Chris, you did nothing wrong," he almost laughed as he used the same words Larabee had just said to him. "Whelan and Wilcox caused all of this. They're the ones who deserve our anger."

"Whelan's an animal," Larabee hissed softly, as his mind wandered back to the warehouse.

"Whelan was an animal. He's dead, Chris, and he'll never be able to hurt either of us again.

"He's in my dreams, Vin, he's always there to punish me. He's always carrying that damned nail gun. Do you have any idea how bad it hurt to have a nail driven into your flesh? To feel it tear into your body an be h...helpless t...to s...stop it."

"No, Chris, I don't," Tanner drawled.

"I h...hope you never do, V...Vin. I couldn't do anything to stop him. I k...knew he w...was taping e...everything he d...did to me. I...I'm s...sorry you had to watch t...that. Must've b...been hell for all of y...you."

"Hell for you is more like it, Chris. I wish I could've done something to stop this from happening to you."

"There was n...nothing you could do. N...nothing a...anyone could do. I...I c...couldn't stop him, V...Vin," Larabee muttered as he looked down at his injured hands.

"He just forced my hands down on the arms of that fucking chair and pressed the button. God, Vin, I screamed. I screamed like a baby. Nothing but a simpering cry baby. I should've been able to take that and not make a sound," Larabee shouted, banging his hands on the arms of his chair in frustration.

Tanner held up his hands and stopped the doctor from coming forward. Slowly he reached down and placed his hands on Larabee's arms, gently restraining him from doing any more damage. "Chris, you're the strongest man I've ever known but even the strongest man can only take so much. We all saw what he did to you and there's not one man amongst us who wouldn't have screamed."

"You wouldn't have," the blond stated frankly.

"Yes, Chris, I would have. I'm human and there's only so much we can take."

"I'd like to take everything that's happened and make it disappear. I'm so tired of it all," Larabee said, yawning as he struggled with the emotional turmoil of the last two weeks.

"I think it's time to get you back to bed, Chris," James suggested.

"Not yet," Larabee pleaded, forcing himself to sit up further in the chair.

"Vin needs to rest as well. If you both behave I'll let him come see you this afternoon," Carol Locke told them.

Tanner smiled, once again hopeful that things were going to be alright. "It's ok, Cowboy, I'll come see you soon."

"T...thanks, Vin, I'm sorry I blamed you for all of this."

"Not your fault, Chris," Tanner assured the blond. He watched as Carol Locke and

Susan James wheeled Larabee out of the room. Suddenly he was alone with JD Dunne and he smiled at the kid. He lay back on the bed and felt a sense of peace come over him. Things were going to get better. He groaned as he turned over in the bed, forgetting about the wound in his shoulder.

"Vin, are you alright?"

"I'm fine now, JD," he answered.

"You want me to get the nurse to give you something for pain?"

"No, thanks, JD. I'm fine the way I am," he thought, knowing his friend had reached out to him and this time he hoped things would continue to improve.

Chapter 67

"We're going to get you back in bed now, Chris," Locke told him.

"Can I just sit by the window for awhile?"

Locke looked at James and the two smiled. "Sure you can, Chris, but you have to tell us when you're ready to go back to bed," James told him.

"I will," he told her as Locke pushed him up to the window.

Carol opened it partway, knowing there was a safety lock that prevented it from opening further. Her patient had shown some positive signs today but she knew he was still a suicide risk. The danger was not over and they needed to keep on their toes with him. "I'll check on you shortly," she told him as she followed James out the door.

Chris sat in his chair, feeling the slight breeze wafting threw the narrow opening. He sighed as his flesh tingled, grateful for the respite from laying in the bed.

"You alright, Stud?" Wilmington asked.

"I'm fine, Buck," Larabee told him, feeling the truth of the words for the first time.

"Want to watch some TV?"

"Naw, but you go ahead. I just want to sit here for awhile."

Wilmington turned on the TV and settled back to watch the afternoon movie.

Chris watched the people in the parking lot, wishing he had the freedom they had. Wishing he could walk in the park and not worry that someone might be hiding behind the nearest bush. ‘Stop it, Larabee, you can't let them run your life. You've got to take control back,' he thought.

Sharpe looked up at the window, surprised when he made out the face of his nemesis. Larabee was looking out at the park and hadn't spotted him yet. He stepped into his field of view and waited for some kind of reaction.

Chris felt someone staring at him and he searched the area below his window. His eyes fell on those of Tony Sharpe and he shivered involuntarily. ‘He can't do anything,' he thought as the man stared up at him.

Sharpe smiled at the man in the window. He lifted his right hand, revealing a dark blue object. He knew Larabee would recognize the device and wished he could be there to see his reaction.

Larabee's breathing grew labored as he recognized the nail gun held in the other man's hands. His eyes never wavered as Sharpe pointed the gun towards him and depressed the trigger.

Buck turned from the TV as soon as he heard the sharply indrawn breath and the small moaning sounds coming from his friend. "Chris, what's wrong?" he asked hurrying over to the injured man. "Chris! Look at me!" Wilmington ordered but the green eyes never left the window, his breathing becoming more and more labored. "Jake, call someone," the ladies man ordered as he stood up and glanced out the window. He searched the area but could see nothing out of the ordinary.

Sharpe hurried from the front of the window as soon as he saw Larabee's reaction to the nail gun. ‘This is gonna be better than I thought, Larabee,' he smiled as he hurried back to his car.

"Come on, Chris, look at me," Wilmington tried again as Midland, Locke, and James hurried into the room.

"What happened?" James asked as she saw the difference in her patient.

"He was looking at something outside and he just suddenly started trembling and breathing funny."

"Chris, look at me," James tried. "What's wrong?"

"Chris you're safe," Buck soothed.

"Never be safe. Never again," Larabee gasped, his eyes never leaving the open window.

"Let's get him back in the bed," James suggested

Larabee didn't protest when he was wheeled back to the bed and lifted onto it. He felt someone taking his blood pressure, pulse, and temperature. He soon felt the cooling mist as Nasal canulas were once more placed over his head. His body trembled as he snuggled down in the blankets, knowing he'd soon drift from one nightmare into another. ‘God, will it ever end,' he thought.

Chapter 68

Vin walked towards Chris's room, JD at his side. They'd come in earlier and removed the IV from his hand and he was enjoying the freedom of movement. He couldn't believe how excited he was about this trip to his friend's room. He stepped into the room and wasn't surprised to see Wilmington seated next to Larabee's bed. What did surprise him was the worried frown that marred the handsome features. "Buck?"

Wilmington looked away from the pale blond. "Hi, Vin, JD."

"What's wrong, Buck?" Tanner asked, noticing the oxygen being given to his friend again.

"Come sit down, Vin."

The sharpshooter sat in the chair next to the bed. "Buck, what's wrong?" he repeated softly, not wanting to disturb his friend's sleep.

"We're not sure, Vin. When Chris returned from your room he seemed fine. He even asked to sit by the window. Dr. James said it was ok and he even managed to smile at her. I turned on the TV and everything was quiet until I heard Chris having trouble breathing. He was just staring out the window and wouldn't answer me at first. Then he said something about never being safe again."

"I should've killed that son of a bitch when I had the chance," the sharpshooter swore softly.

"That wouldn't have helped Chris," Wilmington said. "He needs you, Vin. He needs to know you'll be here."

"He needs us all, Buck. You, me, JD, Ez, Nate, and Josiah. He needs us all to protect him from Wilcox."

"We'll be here, Vin," Dunne told him and the three men lapsed into silence as they watched the sleeping man.

Sometime later a small moan escaped Larabee's throat and three sets of eyes waited anxiously for him to awaken.

"Chris?" Tanner said softly.

The blond opened his eyes and searched for the face that went with the soothing voice. He swallowed the pain his nightmares brought him and tried to smile. The result was more of a grimace as he tried to sit up in the bed.

"You want me to raise your head, Chris?"

"P...please, JD," Larabee answered.

"How are you feeling, Chris?"

"Could ask you the same thing, Vin."

"I'm doing better."

"Me too," the blond lied. His mind kept replaying the scene he'd witnessed in the park. He wondered if it had been a dream or reality. His fear of Sharpe made him tremble and he tried to cover it by pulling the blanket up over his body.

Vin knew his friend was lying and didn't miss the anxious look on his face. Neither man spoke for a few minutes as they sized up the others injuries.

"They tell you when you're getting out of here?" Larabee asked.

"Hopefully I'll get out of here on Friday."

"That's only two more days," Larabee tried to keep the fear of being alone out of his voice.

"He's been a real good boy, Stud," Wilmington laughed in an effort to lighten the mood.

Tanner saw the spark of fear in Larabee's eyes and knew what caused it. "Chris, one of us will be with you at all times. No ones gonna get past us. We'll keep you safe. You have to believe that."

Larabee lifted his eyes and met those of the sharpshooter. "I keep telling myself that, Vin, keep repeating it over and over in my head but it doesn't work. I keep seeing Whelan and h...his t...toys."

"Chris, Whelan is dead. He can't hurt you anymore," Wilmington told his friend.

‘Wilcox and Sharpe are still out there,' Larabee thought but couldn't voice his fears. He didn't want to show his own vulnerability in front of his friends especially the youngest member of his team. He couldn't show them how hard it was for him to even speak the names of his own personal demons. Somehow he'd find a way to defeat them without dragging his friends into it.

"Chris?"

"I'm alright, Buck," the blond muttered softly.

‘I wish you were, Cowboy,' Tanner thought. He knew his friend was thinking about Wilcox but he didn't know if he should bring him up or not. ‘Maybe you'd better wait until Dr. James is here,' he thought. "JD, I'm kind of thirsty. Would you mind going down to the cafeteria and getting me an apple juice?"

"Sure, Vin," Dunne said. "You want something, Chris?"

Larabee gazed to his left and watched the ever present Isosource pump as it fed him the nutritional formula. ‘Do you want to stay on that thing forever, Larabee?

You've already lost more weight than you can afford,' he thought. He looked away from the pumps and his eyes met the hopeful eyes of the younger man. "Bring me the same, JD," he said.

Dunne's eyes widened as he heard the welcome words. "Sure thing, Chris, I'll be right back."

Tanner and Wilmington's eyes met and they couldn't suppress the flicker of hope they felt.

Larabee closed his eyes wondering if he would ever feel as light-hearted as JD Dunne. The kid seemed to bubble over with energy sometimes and Chris envied him that ability. He closed his eyes and was soon drifting towards sleep. His eyes opened wide and he gasped as he fought his way out of another nightmare.

"Chris, are you alright?" Tanner asked worriedly.

"I'm fine, Vin," Larabee heard the tremor in his own voice and wondered if the others picked up on it.

"Here comes JD," Wilmington told them.

"Here you go, Vin, Chris," Dunne said as he placed the cold juice in front of the two men.

Larabee reached for the bottle, his eyes coming to rest on his injured hands. Suddenly a deep laugh welled up inside of him and he looked at the other men. His body shook as he looked from his hands to the faces surrounding him and back to the bottle on the table.

"What's so funny," Dunne asked, not understanding the look on Tanner and Wilmington's faces.

"Chris what's wrong?" Tanner asked.

"What's wrong, Vin? Look at me Sharpe is right," he laughed, the tremors getting stronger as his eyes held the glare from the bottle. "I'm a pathetic bastard who can't even pick up a bottle of juice. I can't do anything on my own," he whispered as the laughter turned to sobs. "A totally useless, pathetic bastard."

"Don't say that, Chris."

"Why not, Vin," Larabee's green eyes snapped towards the blue eyed sharpshooter. "It's true. Look at me. I'm scared of my own Godamned shadow! I can't even look out the window without seeing someone from my nightmares. I don't want to live like this!" he shouted as he struck the glass bottle, sending it flying off the table to shatter against the edge of the nightstand.

"Chris," Wilmington said as he came to stand beside his friend's bed.

"Just leave me the hell alone, Buck. All of you get out of here! I don't want anyone seeing me like this! Get out! Can't you hear me? I said get out!"

Carol Locke hurried into the room, summoned by the sound of shattering glass and the resident sitter who'd come to the door as she'd been about to enter. "What's happened?" she asked as she saw the wild eyed man on the bed. She turned to the nurse behind her and ordered five milligrams of Haldol before stepping towards the bed.

"Get out! I don't need any of you!"

"Chris, we're your friends," Tanner's soft voice was barely audible as Larabee continued in anger.

"Friends, no, Vin, I don't want any friends. I don't want your pity and that's what I see in your eyes. You're all thinking the same thing and you're all right!"

"What are we thinking, Stud?"

"Shut up, Buck, just shut up and get out!" He watched a nurse pass something to Carol Locke. "No!" he shouted as he recognized the familiar item she held in her hands. "Dammit, don't you give me any more drugs. Whelan's paying you to do this isn't he?" Larabee screamed as Locke flipped the cap off a syringe.

"Chris, I won't give this to you if you calm down and tell me what's wrong," Locke told him.

"What the hell do you think is wrong? Nobody listens to me. Nobody hears what I tell them!"

"I'm listening, Chris, just tell me what you want me to do," Locke's words were soft and lilting as she tried to calm her patient.

"I want you to leave me the hell alone!" he continued to shout even though his throat showed signs of strain. His voice coming out as a harsh croaking noise and lacking the strength it usually carried. "Just get the hell out of my r...room and leave me alone. All of you and that includes that Godamned sitter over there. I don't need him! I don't need any of you! Just get out! Get out!"

Locke had little choice but to administer the sedative and hope it would calm the injured man before he did more damage to his healing body.

"I told you I didn't want it," Larabee swore. "Goddamit let me out of here!" his voice and body quieting as the sedative began to take hold once more.

‘You son of a bitch, Gary. I swear I'll make you pay for everything you've done to him. I'll find you and I'll tear out your fucking throat,' Tanner vowed to himself. "I'm sorry, Chris," he whispered as he touched the blond's shoulder.

Larabee met the younger man's eyes, unshed tears in his own, "N...not your fault, Vin. I k...keep thinking e...everything's gonna be alright but it's never gonna happen. They won't ever leave me alone."

"Who won't leave you alone?" Tanner asked softly, not wanting to disturb his friend's quiet thoughts.

"Whelan, Wilcox, Sharpe, they're all there. They're all in my nightmares. Won't leave me alone. Why won't you all just leave me alone?" his quiet voice was edged with grief and pain as he closed his eyes and tried to escape what he perceived as their pity.

‘Sharpe?' Dunne mouthed but a shake of the ladies man's head told him not to say anything right now.

"You don't really want to be alone, do you, Chris?" the sharpshooter asked.

Larabee's green eyes focused once more on his friends. Whether it was the sedative or the calming influence of Vin's soft drawl no one knew, but something got through to the injured man. Tears filled his eyes once more and he reached out to the man standing beside his bed. "N...no, Vin, I...I d...don't," he sobbed and soon found his thin body held in the protective circle of the sharpshooter's arms. "D...don't ever want to be a...alone again."

"You won't be, Stud," Wilmington assured him. "We'll be here for you. We'll help you take your life back."

Larabee swallowed past the lump in his throat as he felt the truth in the ladies man's words. He knew no matter how hard he tried to push his friends away they'd be there for him. Buck proved that every time he stuck by him and Chris lost count of just how much he owed him.

Vin held his friend through it all, ignoring the trembling of his own body. Pain lanced through his injured shoulder as he'd pulled it from the sling. His chest throbbed in tempo with his heart but still he held his friend.

"He's sleeping, Vin," Locke said as she noticed the pain in the blue eyes. "Let me help you settle him back on the bed."

Tanner nodded and helped her place Larabee back on the bed, covering him to his shoulders with the thin blanket.

"He should sleep for a while now, Vin, why don't you go back to your room and get some rest. I know it was difficult to see that and it will probably happen again until he comes to terms with what happened to him."

"I'd rather stay," Tanner told her.

"I know you would but I think it's best for you to get some rest. JD, help Vin back to his room and, Vin, if I don't find you resting I will give you something to make you rest. You're not well yourself and I can see you're in pain from holding Chris like you did just now."

Tanner looked at his sleeping friend once more, his own legs trembling as he stood next to the bed. "I'll be back, Cowboy," he promised before turning away from the bed.

Chapter 69

"JD, can you get me something to drink?" Tanner asked.

"I'm not supposed to leave you alone, Vin," Dunne asnwered.

"JD, he's not after me. At least not yet. Look, I'll stay right here and you can tell Buck or whoever is in with Chris to watch the door. Ok?"

"I guess," Dunne's face grew concerned but he wanted to help his friend in any way he could. "What do you want?"

"Cran-apple Juice," Tanner grinned as the younger man left. It felt good to be alone and he closed his eyes, trying to ward off the encroaching headache. He jumped as the phone beside his bed rang. He rubbed his eyes and reached for the phone as the third ring sounded. "Tanner."

"Hello, Vin."

Tanner sat up straight in the bed, turning sideways and dropping his feet to the floor as the hated voice came over the line. "What the fuck are you doing calling here,

Gary?"

"Such language, Vin. I thought you were above all that. How's Larabee?"

Tanner's eyes grew wild with fury, "None of your fucking business. You just stay away from him or I'll rip your heart out."

"Vin, I haven't done anything to Larabee. I don't even know the man."

"Who're you trying to kid, Gary? You just stay away from him. It's me you want..."

"No, Vin, I don't. It's more fun to watch your reaction to what happens to Larabee. Don't bother calling the police on this. I've taped our little conversation, well, taped it up to this point. I'm sure the police would love to hear the threats you've made to a man in a wheelchair. An innocent man that you've already attacked once. You'd better watch yourself or you'll end up in prison with those so called criminals you sent there."

"You're a dead man, Gary."

"No, Vin, Larabee's a dead man, he just doesn't know it yet," Gary's maniacal laughter sent chills down the sharpshooter's spine.

"You stay away from him you bastard. I'll kill you before I let you near him," Tanner swore.

"Sure you will, Vin, make sure you say goodbye to him the next time you visit..."

The phone went dead in his hand and he dropped it. He hurried to the door and down the short distance to his friend's room. His body shook with fear and anger as he shoved the door open, ignoring the astonished look on Wilmington's face as he pushed past him.

"Vin, what's wrong?"

"That son of a bitch just threatened Chris again," Tanner hissed softly not wanting the sleeping man to hear. He noticed Jake Taylor sitting in his usual spot but chose to ignore him.

"Who? Wilcox?" Wilmington asked, dreading the answer he knew was coming.

"Yeah," Tanner answered as he dropped into the chair next to Larabee's bed.

"We've got to call the police."

"The police won't believe me, Buck."

"What do you mean they won't believe you?"

"He's got a tape of the conversation we just had."

"Well that's good."

"No, it's not. The son of a bitch just taped the threats I made on his life. He stopped taping before he told me Chris was a dead man but didn't know it yet."

"That, bastard," Wilmington snarled, keeping his voice low as well. "We've got to keep him away from Chris."

"If I see him we won't ever have to worry about that again," Tanner promised, signalling for Buck to be quiet as he noticed a pair of tired green eyes gazing at him.

"How're you feeling, Cowboy?"

"T...tired," Larabee answered just as a frantic JD entered the room.

"Vin, you promised you'd stay in your room," Dunne's angry voice cried.

"Sorry, JD," Tanner drawled, keeping his own fears from his voice. "I just needed to see Chris."

Dunne hurried to the bed as he noticed his mentor's eyes open, the anger slowly fading as he met the intense green gaze. "Hi, Chris," he smiled as he passed Vin the bottle of juice.

"JD," Larabee said as he tried to sit up in the bed, but was stopped by the bulky bandages on his hands and the twinge of pain in his side.

"You want me to raise your head a bit?" Dunne asked .

"Please," Larabee answered. "That's enough," the blond told him as the bed reached the halfway point.

Tanner opened the bottle and opened the wrapped straw, placing it in the bottle.

Larabee looked at his friend, green eyes meeting blue. "Gonna share?"

The sharpshooter's eyes registered his surprise but he quickly hid it. "Sure, Cowboy," he said, as he placed the straw between his cracked lips and watched him drink the cold juice.

Larabee pulled away, a tiny smile on his pale face, "Thanks, Vin."

"Sure, Chris," Tanner said. "Let me know when you want more."

"Vin?" the blond's voice was low as he looked at his friend.

"Yeah, Cowboy?"

"Where's Wilcox?"

"You sure you want to talk about him now, Stud?"

"I need to know, Buck. Where is he? Is he in jail?"

"No, Chris, the police haven't charged him with anything yet," Tanner answered, watching his friend's reaction.

Larabee kept his emotions in check, not allowing the fear to show on his face. His stomach churned and he felt the small amount of juice come up in his throat. He gagged and turned away from the others, not wanting them to know just how much this news affected him.

"Chris?" Tanner called softly, resting his hand on the other man's shoulder.

"Not now, Vin," his shaky voice replied.

"It's ok, Stud," Wilmington tried.

"No, Buck, it's not. Wilcox won't give up till he kills Vin."

Tanner's eyes widened as he realized what the blond had just disclosed. Chris no longer feared for his own life he feared for Tanners. "Chris, Wilcox won't win."

"He already has."

Larabee's defeated voice grated on Wilmington's nerves. He'd seen Chris depressed before, even seen him try to drink himself into oblivion. He'd watched him rant and scream at one of them until he was blue in the face when he thought they were giving up on things. This Chris Larabee was a stranger to him and he wanted to take him by the shoulders and shake him till he returned to his old self. "Chris, I never thought of you as a quitter."

"Not quitting, Buck, I'm facing facts. The fact is Wilcox will never give up. He's going to keep coming until he destroys everything," Larabee's voice remained unemotional as he talked of his fears.

"Chris, do you feel like giving a statement to the police?" Tanner asked.

"They won't believe me."

"Why won't they?" Dunne asked worriedly.

"I'm unstable, JD. The hospital has to record putting me on s...suicide watch and W...Wilcox's lawyer would get the case thrown out of court. We've all seen it happen. We've all testified in court and watched cases be thrown out because a slick lawyer was able to bring in patient records. Look, guys, jut leave me alone for a while. I'm kind of tired," he kept his eyes closed but knew the others hadn't left. They were there, watching his back, always there when he needed them. He knew he needed to find a way out of the box he found himself in. Somehow he'd find that opening and make his way out. All he had to do was defeat the demons that haunted his waking and sleeping nightmares.

Chapter 70

Chris woke early the next morning. He knew he'd been dreaming but wasn't able to grasp what the dreams were about. He knew Sarah and Adam were there and he'd fought to stay in the warmth of the dream. Reality came flooding back as he opened his eyes and remembered where he was.

"Good morning, Brother."

"Is it, Josiah?" Larabee muttered, his green eyes glazed with tears.

"It is, Chris. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and life continues all around us."

Larabee swallowed as a fleeting memory came back to him. A small snatch of the dream he'd been having just before his eyes opened. Sarah had said almost the exact same words to him in her dream as she'd told him he needed to fight to get his life back. "I dreamed of Sarah, Josiah."

"She talk to you?"

"She always does when I dream of her. She told me the same thing you just did. That life continues. She was my rock in life, Josiah, and she keeps me strong."

"Sounds like she was just what you needed."

Tears came to the green eyes as he thought of his wife. "She's always been what I needed. She was such a beautiful woman both inside and out. She had the most breathtaking smile. Her eyes were like windows to the soul and I knew from the first time I looked into them I was lost. Lost in a love that would end too soon. I loved her so much. No, that's wrong, I love her so much it hurts here. I can't believe God took her and Adam from me."

"Chris, you'll be with them again."

"That's what she said. But she also said I had to be strong. There was something else she said but I can't quite remember what it was."

"You've always been strong, brother."

"Until now. Until this," the blond said sadly.

"Chris, what was done to you would make the strongest man crumble. You'll get through it and we'll be here to help you."

"She told me too. She told me she'd always been proud of me. She told me Adam was proud of me."

"Sarah wouldn't lie to you, Chris."

"I know that," Larabee said, silent tears streaming down his face as he pictured the last night he'd spent with the woman whose love had been his salvation. ‘I love you, Sarah,' he thought and felt a lessing of the pain around his heart.

"Are you alright, Chris."

"No, Josiah, I'm not. I've let W...Whelan and W...Wilcox beat me. I can't do that anymore. I'm going to fight to get my life back. I'm going to do everything to get out from under the hold they have over me. I need my life back. I need to do something to make Sarah and Adam proud of me again," his green eyes locked on the ex-preacher as his body trembled. "I'm going to beat them at their own game," he swore.

"Halleluiah, Brother," Sanchez's face lit up in a huge grin. "That's the best news I've heard in a long, long time.

"I won't let them win, Josiah. I can't let them win."

"They won't, Chris. You've got too many people who care about you to let them win." Larabee smiled, at first the smile seemed forced, but soon it spread to encompass his eyes and Sanchez realized a major hurdle had just been overcome.

"I know that, Josiah. If it wasn't for you guys I'd have given up long ago. Do you think they'd order some breakfast for me. I want this thing out," he pointed to the

NG tube leading into his nostril.

"I think it could probably be arranged. You do know they'll start you out on fluids?"

"Yeah, that's about the only downfall. Green Jell-O, broth and juice. I know the routine."

Sanchez was about to go in search of the nurse when Susan James, Stacy Midland, and Carol Locke entered the room.

"Good morning, Chris," Midland was the first to speak.

"Morning, Doc," he smiled at the three newcomers, and nearly laughed at the surprise on the faces of the three women.

"How are you feeling, Chris?" James asked.

"Better, Doc, not perfect but better than I was."

Sanchez smiled, "Chris wants to know if he missed breakfast or if he can have some."

"Is that true, Chris?" James asked.

"Yeah. I figure it's about time, right doc?"

"That's right, Chris, and it's wonderful news. Carol, order breakfast but make sure it's liquid diet for now. If you keep it down now and at lunch then we'll see about getting you something a little more solid for dinner," Midland told him, as Locke left the room to order the meal for her patient.

"Green Jell-O, Doc?" Larabee asked.

"Jell-O yes, whether it's green or not I can't say," Midland laughed, relieved to see at least a little humor from the blond.

"Chris?"

Larabee looked towards James. "Doc?"

"Does this go for your meds as well?"

Larabee looked into her eyes, "Do I have to keep taking them?"

"For the time being, yes."

"I'll take them if it you'll get rid of this," Larabee told her.

"Now who's using blackmail?" Midland asked.

"Will it work?" Larabee asked, a touch of his old cockiness showing on his pale face.

"It might," Midland answered. "If all goes well today and you're able to keep everything down we'll get rid of the NG tube tomorrow. Now I want to take a look at your hands."

"Stacy, I'm going to check on a couple of other patients. I'll see you at the meeting."

"Alright, Susan."

"Chris, I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Thanks, Doctor James," Larabee said as Midland began removing the bandages on his hands. "How does it look?" he asked as she finished removing the last of the gauze.

"They're getting a little better," Midland told him. "How do they feel? Truthfully Chris."

"They hurt. Sometimes the hurt really bad."

"The morphine does help right?"

"Yeah."

"How're the ribs feeling?"

"Only hurt when I move or laugh," he answered.

"Your leg?"

"Doc, everything hurts right now," Larabee told her. "But it's tolerable."

"Alright," she said as she let his hands soak in the saline solution.

"They'll be bringing breakfast in a few minutes," Locke said as she re-entered the room.

"Carol, What time is Physio coming?"

"They're usually here around eleven."

"OK, Chris, how would you feel about getting out of that bed today and doing some serious work on your leg?"

"Anything you say, Doc," Larabee told her, wincing as she wrapped his hands in the saline soaked gauze. "How long before I can use my hands again?"

"Chris, your hands are going to take some time to heal. You also have to remember your right wrist was broken."

"How can I forget?" he asked raising the hand with the cast on it.

"Let's just take it a step at a time, Chris. You've just made big strides towards getting back on your feet but physically there's still a ways to go. Don't rush things.

Let Physio do what they have to and you'll be out of here in no time."

"What about him?" Larabee glanced in the direction of the older man sitting across the room.

"Chris, I said you've made big strides I didn't say you were cured. Jake is a good man and he'll stay until Susan clears it with the board."

Sanchez didn't miss the look that flashed across the younger man's face. The look that said he didn't care whether Jake was a good men or what the board had to say. The ex-preacher was glad when the door opened and a nurse came into the room with a breakfast tray. "Looks like breakfast has arrived, Brother," Sanchez said. ‘And not a moment to soon,' he thought.

"What's wrong, Chris?" Locke asked as she watched him stare at the tray.

"Just wandering how the hell I'm supposed to do this?" Larabee snapped.

"For now with our help," Midland told him.

Larabee continued to stare at the tray, angry with his own inability to achieve the simplest things. He wanted to scream in frustration but knew it would just make things worse. He needed to prove to everyone that he didn't need them watching him twenty four hours a day. "I don't seem to have much choice right now," he smiled weakly.

"It won't stay like this for long, Chris," Sanchez assured him as he opened the small container of Jell-O. A smile spread over his face as he turned to the blond.

"Green?" Larabee asked.

"Fraid so," the ex-preacher laughed as he spooned the rubbery substance into the open mouth, smiling at the look of distaste that quickly came over his face.

"Chris, I'll see you later, alright?" Midland said as she turned away from the bed.

"Sure, Doc," Larabee answered as Sanchez forced more of the Jell-O into him.

"Shit, Josiah, that stuff tastes like crap."

"I bet it does. Bet if I threw it at the floor it'd bounce all over the room."

"Did I just hear someone mention a bet?"

Larabee and Sanchez looked to the open door as Standish and Tanner entered. "We're just talking about the finer points of Jell-O," Sanchez laughed as he once more placed the spoon before the blond's mouth. When the offering wasn't taken Sanchez studied the face. "Chris, is something wrong?"

Larabee's eyes grew wide with anger as he stared at the long haired man behind Standish. "Wrong, Josiah, what could possibly be wrong?"

"Chris," Sanchez started, misinterpreting the anger on the pale face.

"I let them take everything from me. Sarah, Adam, and V...Vin. I let them have what they wanted," Larabee's voice was soft as he stared at the sharpshooter. "I'm sorry, Vin, sorry I put you through what I did."

"Chris, you didn't..."

"I betrayed the trust we had. I let Whelan and Wilcox beat me. Let them turn me into a coward. I don't deserve your friendship, Vin, and I don't blame you if you did turn away from me."

"Chris, that ain't gonna happen," Tanner swore as he slid into the chair Sanchez vacated. "I've told you before and I'll tell you again you're the closest thing to family

I got. I reckon if I had a choice for a big brother it would be you."

Larabee saw the truth in the soft blue eyes, "You sure you'd want to call someone like me brother."

"I wouldn't want anyone else, Cowboy."

"Thanks, Vin, I needed to hear that. I t...thought I'd lost you, all of you," Larabee said his eyes falling on the ex-preacher and the gambler as well.

"We're not going anywhere, Mr. Larabee," Standish assured him.

"Now, Chris, I think it's time you finished your breakfast," Locke ordered, she'd remained quiet as they talked but now she needed to get the blond to finish his meager breakfast.

"Open up, Chris," Tanner grinned as he stuck the last of the Jell-O before the blond.

"What'd you have?"

"Toast, cereal, juice, and coffee," Tanner answered with a knowing smile.

"Oh, hell, and I get to eat this crap. Can't I even have a cup of coffee?" Larabee asked hopefully.

"I'll see if they'll send you one with lunch. Now here's your meds," she said as she held a tiny cup in front of him. "What is it?" he asked.

"Zoloft."

"What's it for?"

"An anti-depressant," Locke told him honestly.

"Don't need it. I'm not depressed," Larabee growled.

"Chris, you told the doctors you'd take the meds orally," Sanchez reminded him.

"Damn, Josiah, thought you were on my side?"

"I am but for now you have to do as the doctors order."

Locke held the cup for him and he took the pill, chasing it down with water. "Now finish your breakfast and we'll see about a bath."

"A bath?" Larabee asked looking at the bandages covering his thin body.

"You need it, Cowboy," Tanner whispered.

"Thanks, Vin, you're all heart."

Chapter 71

The day passed quickly as Chris was put through physiotherapy, ate his lunch, was given a bath, and slept most of the afternoon. He was glad when he woke up to find the others, including Vin Tanner in his room. Carol Locke showed up shortly after and he'd been helped from the bed to the wheelchair.

Half an hour later, Chris still sat in the chair, comfortable in the welcome company of his six friends. He tried but couldn't quite ignore the older man sitting across the room. The others were watching a baseball game on the TV and he sat back enjoying the laughter and easy going banter. Once in a while everything would go deadly quiet and he'd feel six pairs of eyes on him. Usually it happened if someone said a word or phrase they thought would remind Chris of the last couple of weeks. He'd just look at them and smile, telling them he was fine and they'd turn back to the game.

The problem was he wasn't fine. He was tired. Tired of having everyone watching him. He looked towards the window, memories of spotting Sharpe below them sent shivers down his spine. He closed his eyes and tried to stop the trembling in his legs. ‘God, not now,' he thought, the feeling reminding him of the convulsions he'd suffered when Whelan injected the drug into his body. A hand on his shoulder startled him and he opened his eyes.

"You alright, Cowboy?"

Larabee continued to fight the oncoming spasms. He didn't want to do this again. He didn't want to have his friends see him helpless. He groaned and closed his eyes.

"Chris, look at me," he waited for the green eyes to open and focus on him. "I'm right here. I...We're not going to let anything happen to you. We're here," he waited for the trembling to subside.

"T...thanks, Vin," Larabee swallowed deeply as he felt the familiar fear melt away.

"Anytime, Cowboy," Tanner promised.

Chris swallowed deeply, the words from the younger man meaning more to him than he could ever know. All the pain of the last few weeks seemed inconsequential when faced with the possibility of losing his family. He could not and would not let that happen. He glanced from face to face before coming back to the face standing before him. "I won't let him take what's mine," he vowed.

"Neither will I," Tanner told him. "We're a family, Chris, and families are there for one another."

Larabee nodded his thanks and turned to the table beside him. "Think you could pass me my juice?" he asked.

Tanner smiled, knowing Larabee had just overcome a major part of his medical problems. The convulsions he'd been suffering from kept his body from healing properly. The severity of most of them causing his wounds to re-open and setting the healing process back each time. He'd noticed his friend had grown quiet and the look of fear, combined with the trembling in his legs reminded Vin of the convulsions he'd witnessed and he knew he had to try and help him ride it out. He placed the straw in front of Larabee's mouth and waited for him to drink his fill. He knew the others had turned back to the game but could still feel each of them watching the scene playing out behind them.

"You ready to get back in bed, Cowboy?" Tanner asked as he noticed the blond try to stifle a yawn.

"Not yet," Larabee told him.

"Chris, you can always get back in the chair later," the younger man assured him.

"Tell you what, Cowboy, you promise to get some rest and I'll do the same," Larabee grinned.

"I'm not tired."

"Vin, I have to agree with Chris. You're still a patient here and that means you need your rest as well," Jackson said as he joined the two men. "Buck, JD, would you escort Vin back to his room. Ask one of the nurses at the desk to come help us get Chris back in his bed as well."

"Nathan, I'm fine."

"Don't give me that, Vin, if you were fine you'd be home, not here at Saint Vincents."

"Go, Vin, I am kinda tired," Larabee told him, not bothering to hide the yawn this time.

"Alright, Cowboy, just remember I'm just down the hall if you need anything. I mean it, Chris, anything at all."

Larabee watched the man leave, Buck and JD protecting him from either side. He moved on the chair, groaning as his wounds protested loudly.

"Are you ok, Chris?" Sanchez asked.

"Yeah, fine, Josiah, just a little tired."

"Are you ready to get back in your bed, Chris?" the pretty brunette nurse asked.

"Think so," he answered.

"Alright then. Don't put any pressure on your hands. Mr. Jackson would you help me stand him up?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Jackson answered. Carefully avoiding the injuries on the thin form. The man and woman helped Chris to his feet, gently sliding him onto the edge of the bed and swinging his legs up.

Chris sank back into the relative comfort of the bed. Languishing in the feel as his tired body was stretched out on the mattress. Sighing he closed his eyes and was asleep before he had a chance to say thank you.

Sylvie checked the IV, Isosource, and Morphine infusion to make sure everything was running smoothly. "He'll probably sleep till his dinner gets here," she told them as she left the room.

"You gentlemen might as well go home. I'll stay with Mr. Larabee for the rest of the day," Standish told them.

"Alright, Ez. I'll be here around ten to relieve you," Sanchez assured him.

"I'll be back to relieve Buck as well."

"I'm amazed the Mr. Tanner has agreed to tolerate our company twenty four hours a day."

"He doesn't really have a choice, Ez," Sanchez said.

"He's getting out of here day after tomorrow," Jackson told them.

"Yeah, he's been reminding us of that all the time. Anyway, we'll get going. Call if you need anything, Ez. JD's volunteered to bring dinner for you and Buck,"

Sanchez grinned lopsidedly.

"Oh, Lordy, Pizza and wings I bet." Standish gasped as the two men left him alone.

"I take it you're not a Pizza fan?" Taylor asked the well dressed young man.

"Oh, I like Pizza but not from the places JD frequents," Standish told him as he settled down to watch the rest of the game.

Chapter 72

Orrin Travis was a man of little patience and he'd run out of it shortly after meeting with the DA. The man refused to listen when it came to Gary Wilcox and the perceived threat to Chris Larabee and Vin Tanner. The DA refused to reconsider charging Wilcox with any wrongdoing without first being assured that Chris

Larabee would be able to place the man at the scene. Right now Dr. Susan James, Dr. Stacy Midland, and Dr. Tom Parker would not let the police or the DA question Chris, citing ill health as the reason.

Travis knew there was nothing else he could do until Chris was stronger and ready to face the torture these monsters put him through. He knew without a doubt that the time would come but for now there was nothing anyone could do except protect Larabee and Tanner.

Travis stepped into Larabee's room, smiling as he watched the stoic gambler feeding the injured man. "How are you feeling, Chris?" he asked.

Larabee's face went white at the thought of his boss seeing him like this. ‘Don't be so stupid, Larabee, he knows you can't feed yourself right now.' "B...better,

Orrin," he stammered.

"That's good to hear, Son. You certainly look better than you did the last time I was here."

"Yeah, well, I've decided it's time to get my life back," Larabee said as Standish placed another forkful of mashed potatoes before him.

"Looks like they're giving you some real food as well. How is it?"

Larabee smiled as he swallowed the offering. "Actually, Orrin, it tastes like heaven after the stuff they've been shoving down the damn tube."

"When are you getting rid of that?" Travis asked.

"Well they took out the so called liquid nourishment just before dinner. Hopefully they'll take the tube out in the morning," the blond informed him.

"That's wonderful news, Chris. I'll let Mary know when she calls tonight. She's been asking about you."

"Tell her...," Larabee thought for a minute before speaking softly. "Tell her I'm doing better."

"I will, Son, I've got a couple of meetings to attend to but I wanted to see how you and Vin were doing."

"Thanks, Orrin, I appreciate your concern."

"Finish your dinner, Chris, I want to see that damn thing," he pointed at the NG tube, "and all the other ones out as soon as possible."

Larabee smiled as the older man left the room. He turned his attention back to Standish and the meal, intent on finishing every morsel.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Buck, Vin," Travis said as he entered Tanner's room a minute later. Although pale, the younger man seemed to have gained back something he'd been missing the last time Travis visited.

"Orrin," Tanner smiled at the older man while Buck nodded in greeting.

"I'm glad to see you're looking better, Vin," Travis told him.

"I feel better, Orrin. Have you seen Chris?"

"I just left him in Standish's capable hands. I must say I was surprised to see him eating."

"He's fighting back, Orrin," Wilmington sounded pleased as he looked at his boss then back to the injured man. "We'll have the old Chris back and glaring at us before too long."

Travis nodded then turned to the man on the bed. "I hear you're getting out of here on Friday?"

"Yeah, they tell me I'm healthy enough to recuperate at home."

"You just make sure you follow doctors orders and let one of the men stay at the ranch with you."

"Don't worry, Orrin, we won't let him be alone. We'll stick to him like flies to honey," Wilmington assured the older man.

"Make sure you do, Buck."

"Any luck with the DA?" Tanner asked.

Travis shook his head. "There's nothing they can do without Chris's testimony."

"He's not ready to testify yet," the ladies man told him angrily.

"I know that but there's nothing more we can do until the doctors tell us Chris is ready to be questioned."

"Why isn't Vin's testimony enough for them?"

"It's Vin's word against Wilcox. The DA also needs Chris to place Gary Wilcox at the scene. He's the only one who can do so," Travis explained.

"But Vin can tell them what Gary said."

"Buck, Gary would just deny it. It would still be my word against his. Without proof the case would be thrown out before it even started."

"We have to get that son of a bitch before he does anything else to either of you," Wilmington swore.

"We'll get him, Buck," Tanner promised.

Chapter 73

Josiah watched as Chris opened sleep laden eyes. The night had been relatively quiet with Chris seemingly oblivious of the nurse coming in to change IVs and make sure the morphine was running properly. He'd woken once, bathed in sweat, but assured the ex-preacher that he was alright.

Josiah knew he was still having nightmares about the horrors he'd gone through but he didn't want to push Chris to talk about them until the younger man was ready.

He knew Chris still had a ways to go and the final healing would only begin when he could openly talk about what Whelan did to him.

Sanchez smiled as the younger man came completely awake, "Good morning, Brother."

"Hmm," Larabee whispered, his throat dry from sleep.

"Want some water?"

"P...please," Larabee drank his fill and turned away. "Have any of the doctors been around. I want this thing out."

"They should be around any time," Sanchez assured him, smiling as Larabee's three doctors and the primary care nurse came through the door. He moved out of the way so the newcomers could have full access to their patient.

"Good morning, Chris," Midland said.

"Good morning," Larabee answered.

"How are you doing this morning, Chris?" Parker asked.

"Not bad, Doc. I was kinda hoping you'd agree to getting rid of some of these accessories," the blond grinned as he indicated the IVs and NG tubing.

"Let me take a look at you and we'll discuss your accessories when I'm through," Parker told him.

Chris sat back and let the doctors check everything over. He remained silent until Dr. Midland prodded his side, gasping as she touched the area around the laceration on his right side.

Midland looked at him, her face full of sympathy for the injured man. "Sorry, Chris," she told him as she cleansed the reddened area with saline soaked gauze.

"It's ok, Doc, you just caught me by surprise," he rasped.

Slowly the two doctors continued their examination. Chris held his breath as the doctors' checked his hands. Examining the still swollen and discolored area between thumb and index finger of both hands.

"I think we'll be able to dispense with a lot of the gauze covering the fingers in a couple of days. That should give you some freedom of movement," Parker explained as he placed the hands in the saline solution.

"I guess that rules out going home tomorrow?"

"Chris," Midland smiled at the blond, "You won't be out of here for at least another week."

"Ah, hell, Doc, another week?"

"At least, Chris," James said.

"Damn, any good news?"

"Well, I think it's safe to get rid of the NG tube."

"Really," the blond asked, the excitement showing in his eyes.

"Really," Midland said.

"When?"

"How about right now?" Parker asked.

"Yes, please."

Carol Locke carefully removed the tape from around the area. "Are you ready, Chris?" she asked.

"Yeah," Chris hated the feeling of the tube being pulled up and out of his stomach. There was no pain just an uncomfortable feeling, as if his stomach was filled with butterflies all taking flight at once. "Thanks," he told her.

"You're welcome," the nurse said as she got rid of the tubing. "I've got your meds right here," she told him.

He looked into the cup she held before his mouth, lifting his eyes to meet with James. "Do I have too?" he asked.

"For now you do," James told him.

"What if I refused?"

"The tube would have to go back in. Your choice" James warned.

"You're getting good with the blackmail, Doc," Larabee told her.

"I'll take that as a compliment," she told him as he swallowed the Zoloft.

"Carol, continue with the wet-dry dressings for now," Midland ordered.

"Doc?"

"Yes, Chris?"

"Can you get rid of the Morphine?"

"Chris, if we dispense with the morphine you'll quickly become aware of the pain."

"I'll ask if I need anything."

"I seem to remember you saying something to that extent the last time you were admitted," Midland told him.

"I'll ask, come on, Doc, I hate feeling so sleepy all the time," Larabee told her.

"Alright, Chris, I'll make a deal with you.

"What kind of deal."

"Stacey, I have a couple of other patients to see before OR. I'll talk to you later today."

"Ok, Tom, thanks."

"You're welcome," Parker said. "Chris, I'll see you tomorrow."

Larabee nodded as the man turned to leave and then glanced back at Midland. "What kind of deal?" he repeated.

"I'm not willing to remove the pump totally just yet. What I will do is let you control how much you take."

"How?"

"We'll change it so that all you need to do is press a button to receive the correct dosage. That way you only take it when you need it."

"I get to control whether or not I take it?"

"That's right, but don't let me hear of you riding it out or I'll rethink the deal."

"Alright, Doc," his cocky grin plastered on his face.

"Carol, I've changed the orders on his chart."

"I'll arrange to have it done after breakfast."

Susan James stepped up to the bed, smiling at the difference she sensed in the man. "You're a remarkable man, Chris. You keep going like this and we'll have you out of here in no time."

"Just not tomorrow?"

"Chris?"

"Had to try."

"Chris, do you feel like talking about what happened to you?" James asked.

Larabee glanced fearfully at the doctor, his green eyes showing he was far from ready to talk about the experience. "N...not r...right now, Doc," he gasped, feeling the familiar trembling begin in his legs. ‘God, not now,' he thought as he struggled for control. He knew to give in to this attack would set him back and the doctors might decide he wasn't ready to control his own existence. ‘No, God, no! Not now, Dammit, not now!' he moaned as the trembling became more pronounced, closing his eyes in an attempt to concentrate on controlling his rebelling body. He knew the people in his room were speaking to him but he couldn't hear what they were saying. Every ounce of strength he had went into stopping the convulsion before it manifested itself in a full blown attack.

"Chris."

He heard the voice and tried to concentrate on it. ‘Use it as an anchor, Larabee, concentrate on his voice. Come on fight it,' he thought as he listened to the soft

Texas drawl. "V...Vin," he gasped.

"That's right, Cowboy, fight it. I'm right here with you. We're all here," Tanner assured his friend, sitting on the edge of the bed, reaching out and placing his hands on Larabee's shoulders.

"Trying," Larabee hissed, angry at letting the memories take control once more.

"Think about getting out of here, Cowboy. Think about getting back to your ranch and the horses," Tanner kept talking softly, gently stroking the shoulders in a soothing massage, feeling the trembling ease once more as Larabee's body relaxed in his grip.

Chris felt control coming back to him. He felt his breathing ease and the trembling stop. With the last of his strength he opened his eyes and smiled weakly,

"S...sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, Chris," Midland told him.

"Feel like a c...coward," he told them.

"You're not a coward, Chris. When you're ready to talk we'll talk. Until then we'll work on everything else. All right?" James asked.

"Yeah," the blond whispered angrily. "God, I hate being like this."

"Chris, you'll get your life back," Tanner told him, not releasing the grip he had on his friend, hoping to give strength through the touch.

"Will I, Vin? Or will just thinking about W...Whelan or W...Wilcox set me off?" he stammered, shivering as he felt the cold tendrils of fear snake their way into his mind. "Dammit, why am I always so tired?"

"It won't always be this way, Chris," James told him. "Everything is just so new right now. You've been physically hurt and your body has been fighting with everything it's got. The strength will come back and when it does you'll be able to do everything you're used to doing. Oh, I'm not saying it'll all go away because that's not going to happen. No one can go through what you have and come away from it unchanged. The events of the last few weeks will be with you for the rest of your life but it'll be your choice whether you let them take over completely or use them to make you stronger."

Larabee swallowed and glanced at the people in his room. He knew James was right and it would be up to him how he lived after he got out of here but he didn't want to talk about it now. He pulled away from Tanner's hands, wanting to be left to his own thoughts. "Look, I just need to be alone for a while."

"Alright, Chris, we'll leave you alone for a little while," James agreed.

Larabee watched the others follow the doctor out the door, his eyes falling on those of the sharpshooter. "Please, Vin, just for a little while."

"Alright, Cowboy, but we'll be right outside the door if you need anything," Tanner walked dejectedly towards the door, closing it gently behind him.

Chris turned to the new sitter across the room. Jake Taylor had the day off and Chris barely acknowledged the new man. He sensed that he was trustworthy but he didn't want him there at the moment. "She said I could be alone."

"I'm sorry, but my orders are to stay put at all times."

"Dammit, I'm not going to do anything. I just want to be alone!" he snarled.

"I don't have a choice."

"Will you people ever leave me alone?" he asked as he turned away from the man. He pulled his legs up and curled into a ball. Slowly sleep overtook him and he sank into the nightmares once more.

Chapter 74

The meeting was again held in Stacey Midland's office. Parker, Locke, Leonard, and James were all in attendance. Once again Chris Larabee was the focal point of the meeting.

"Susan, from your standpoint how's Chris doing?" Parker asked. He'd read her report about the incident that happened after he'd left.

"To be honest he is making progress. I can guarantee there's going to be more setbacks but from what I've seen he'll persevere. The trembling today was caused by my asking him if he was ready to talk about what happened to him," she explained, glancing from one person to another as she spoke. "He's just not ready to face it and until he is this kind of thing will happen. In a sense it's a panic attack. He feels as if to talk about it would make it more of reality than it already is."

"So how do we proceed?" Midland asked.

"By letting Chris set the pace. Let him talk about it when he's ready. Don't force him to speak of Whelan or what he did. It's too new and painful for him right now,"

James told them.

"That sounds reasonable. What about you, Kathy? Now that he's off the Isosource what do you recommend in the way of nutrition?" Parker asked.

"Right now he's on a special diet. One enhanced to help him regain some of the weight he's lost and make him stronger. He kept yesterday's meals down and I've broadened his menu to include more solids. I also recommend he be given vitamins until we're sure he's getting enough of them."

"Thank you, Kathy. Carol, do you have anything to add?" Midland asked.

Locke placed her notes on the table in front of her, glancing at the other professionals in the room. "I've been spending a lot of time with Chris and Vin. Dr. Marshall has signed the release form for Vin. He'll be released tomorrow morning."

"That's great news," James said. "Just make sure he sets up an appointment with my office. He'll need a chance to talk about his feelings and what happened to

Chris. I know he's shouldering the guilt on this one and he needs the chance to talk it out."

"I'll see that it's arranged before he leaves. What about Chris?" Locke asked.

"Is he any better this afternoon?" James asked.

"It's hard to tell. He's definitely happy to have the NG tube out and the control he has over the pain medication."

"But?"

"But he's not as open as he was this morning. It's like he's shut himself off again. Not as tightly as he did before but it's harder to get him involved in anything. Peggy said he all but ignored her during physio. He only ate about half his lunch and hardly touched his breakfast."

"Keep an eye on that, Carol, we need to make sure he's eating enough," Leonard told her.

"I will."

"Carol, let me know if things don't improve by tomorrow," Parker ordered.

"Yes, Doctor," Locke said.

"There's something else you should all be aware of," James told them as all eyes turned to her. "I've recommended to the board that Chris be taken off suicide watch and given over to the care of his friends. They've agreed to let his men watch him as long as it's under my supervision. If anything goes wrong I'm the one they'll come down on."

"Are you sure you're ready to take the chance?" Parker asked.

"I don't think I'm taking a chance. I've treated Chris Larabee before. You have to remember what he went through when his wife and son died. I'm willing to bet if he made it past that he'll make it past this. Especially now that he's trusting Vin Tanner again."

"I'll back you up, Susan."

"Thanks, Stacey, I just hope you don't regret that decision.

"I'm sure I won't. If there's nothing else we can adjourn and I'll meet you all here again tomorrow,' Midland told them. When no one spoke she stood up and closed the charts. "Thank you all for coming."

Chapter 75

"Looks like dinner's arrived, Chris."

Larabee opened his eyes and looked at the youngest member of the team. "W...what time is it JD?"

"Five thirty," Dunne answered as he lifted the cover off the main dish. "Wow, looks like they've decided you deserve something good."

"What is it this time?" Larabee asked disinterestedly.

"Roast beef, mashed potatoes, carrots, and gravy. What do you want to start with?"

"I'm not very hungry right now, JD," the blond said, closing his eyes once more.

"But, Chris."

"JD, just leave it, ok?"

"No way, Cowboy," Tanner drawled as he walked into the room.

"Vin, I'm just not hungry," Larabee told him.

"Chris," Tanner waited for the green eyes to open and look at him. "You know if you don't eat they're just gonna put the tube back in and feed you that canned nutrition."

"At least then I wouldn't need anyone to cut up my food and feed me like a baby," Larabee snapped.

"Chris, it's only for a little longer. Dr. Parker said your hands are healing and in a few days they'll be able to leave the bandages off your fingers. You'll be able to do everything for yourself again."

"Will I Vin? Will I ever do anything for myself again. Godammit!" he swore. "Every time I think I'm getting past all this something happens. All Susan James did was ask if I wanted t...to t...talk about i...it and I panicked."

"Chris, I understand..."

"Do you? Do you really? Do you understand what it's like to wake up in a cold sweat and not be able to pick up a cloth to wash your face? Or pick up a fork and knife to feed yourself? Dammit, Vin, I can't even go to the washroom by myself. It's just like they said. I'm a pathetic bastard and..."

"No, Chris, You're not. Right now you're feeling sorry for yourself and I think it's time you realized you're letting them have the upper hand again."

"That's funny, Vin," Larabee's laughter was pained as he looked at his friend. "Give them the upper hand. Dammit look at me! They already have the upper hand.

They took it when they did this to me."

"Is everything alright, Chris? Can I get you something?"

Larabee looked past his friend at the young nurse who'd just entered. "Everything's just fine!" he snarled. "What more can I possibly want? I mean I've got lots of people ready to help me eat something I don't feel like eating. Oh, and if I don't eat the doctors can force this damned tube down my throat and make me eat whether I want to or not."

"Chris, are you finished?" Tanner asked as he watched the nurse leave the room. He knew she was going to put in a call to Susan James.

"No, Vin, I'm not. I've got a sitter over there because I'm considered a fuckin' suicide risk," Larabee's harsh laugh held no humor.

"He's not gonna be there forever, Chris," Tanner said.

"What makes you such an authority on it, Vin. You ever had someone watching you twenty four hours a day? Huh? Have you? It leaves you no dignity, no privacy.

Makes me just as much a prisoner as the people we've sent to jail. The irony of it is a prisoner's allowed a little freedom. He's given time to be by himself," the anger seemed to be leaving him as he screamed out his rage. He swung his useless hands at the side rail of the bed.

Tanner reached out and caught the arms before they made contact. "Chris, you hit them and you'll just be forcing the doctor to keep up the treatments."

Larabee's eyes met Tanner's, both sets filled with unshed moisture, "Vin, I...I just want o...out of h...here."

"I know you do, Cowboy, but it's just not possible yet."

"Why not? I could go home. One of the guys could stay with me. JD, you'd stay with me, wouldn't you?"

"Course I would, Chris."

"See, Vin, JD'll stay with me."

"Until the doctors say it's otherwise, Chris, you're stuck in here."

"That's easy for you to say! You're getting out of here tomorrow!" Larabee glared as a familiar woman stepped into the room. "Oh, hell, why'd they call you?"

"They called me because you're my patient. Would you like to tell me what's wrong?"

"What's wrong, Doctor James, is all of this," he said, indicating everything in the room. "I want out of here!"

"Chris we went over this earlier."

"No, Doc," he shouted, "you went over it. I'm tired of everyone thinking they know what's best for me. I'm tired of having no choice but to do as I'm told. Chris, it's time for physio. Eat your dinner, Chris. Take your medication, Chris. It's a wonder you guys don't tell me when to go to the washroom," he laughed as he looked down at his hands. "What the hell am I talking about? I can't even do that on my own," as quickly as the anger had come over him it dissipated, leaving Chris shuddering on his bed. "I just want my life back the way it was before all of this," he whispered.

"You'll get it back, Chris," James told him. "It may take some time and it won't be exactly as it was. You'll always have memories of the horrors of the past few weeks but you're strong enough to make the memories work for you."

Larabee looked from her to Vin, to the pale faced JD. Tears shone in his eyes as he realized he'd bared a part of himself he hadn't wanted too. "I want to believe you, Doc. I want to believe you so badly."

"Believe it, Cowboy, it won't be long before you're home and chomping at the bit to get back to work."

Larabee smiled weakly, "Thanks, Vin," he said, lapsing into silence.

The others remained quiet knowing there was more the blond wanted to say. The silence seemed to stretch on forever before he once more started speaking.

"I'm sorry," he said as he looked at the people in the room.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, Chris. Everyone's allowed to shout once in a while. I do it myself sometimes."

"You do?"

"Of course. It releases the tension. How do you feel right now?" James asked.

Larabee thought for a few seconds before answering. He lifted his eyes and met hers once more. "Angry. Frustrated. Pissed off."

"Those are healthy emotions and it's only logical that you'd be experiencing them," James told him

"I'm sorry I took it out on you, Vin."

"Apology accepted," Tanner assured him.

"Guess if I want to get out of here I have to eat this stuff," Larabee declared.

"It would help," James told him.

"Alright, JD, you still willing to feed an old invalid?"

"Chris you're not old and you're not an invalid," Dunne told him as he helped the blond eat the meal.

"Thanks, JD."

"Are you alright now, Chris?"

"I'm fine, Doc, I'm just gonna eat this stuff, press the damn button here and maybe watch some TV."

"That sounds good, Chris. If you need anything more just let the nurses know. I've put in an order for a mild sleeping pill so don't be afraid to ask for it. I'll see you in the morning."

"I'll be here," Larabee grinned as she turned away. "Vin, did you eat yet?"

"Yeah, looks like you got the same thing I did."

"I can't wait to have a juicy barbecue steak," Larabee said wistfully.

"Yeah well when you get out of here I'll buy you the biggest damned steak I can find."

"As long as you or Buck don't cook it I'll take you up on it."

"Damn, Larabee, that's low. Man offers to buy you a steak and you insult his cooking."

"Vin, Chris wants to be able to eat the steak. Remember the burnt offerings you and Buck served the last time?" JD agreed as he placed the last of the roast beef in the blond's mouth

Sighing contentedly as he swallowed the last of the meal he muttered, "I couldn't have said it better myself," Larabee grinned, finally depressing the button and releasing the morphine into his system. "I think maybe I'll take a little nap," he told them, closing his eyes as the effects of the morphine overtook him.

"Sleep well, Cowboy," Tanner said, knowing the battle for his friend's sanity had only just begun.

Chapter 76

Larabee looked across the room at the familiar form of Jake Taylor. The man arrived just after the nursing change and relieved the man who stood watch over him during the night. He liked Jake Taylor and thought he would probably befriend the older man if he didn't feel so angry at having him here all the time. The second figure in the room was Ezra Standish and Chris met the man's eyes. He looked tired and Larabee wondered what his illness was doing to his friends. The recent emotional ups and downs were taking a toll on not only him but his men as well. He needed to feel as if he could make his own decisions and have them acted on.

"Good morning, Mr. Larabee," Standish's soft voice broke the silence.

"Morning, Ez, You look like shit."

"Why thank you, Mr. Larabee. I must say I've never been likened to human waste before. There must be something dreadfully wrong with my countenance."

"Or else you haven't been getting much sleep."

"In all probability that is the problem. I shall endeavor to rectify the lack of dream time as soon as Mr. Sanchez arrives."

"So Josiah got the short straw did he?"

"Mr. Larabee, you are not a contest and we would never draw straws to see who spends the day in your company."

"Ez, I'm sure all of you have more important things to do than spend your days and nights sitting within the confines of these four walls."

"Mr. Larabee, Chris, you're a friend and as such I consider it an honor to help out in any way I can."

"Thanks, Ez," Larabee said as James, Parker, and Midland came into his room.

"Well, I must say you look much better than you did last night, Chris," James commented.

"Thanks, Doc, I do feel better."

"That is good news, Chris," Parker told him. "How are your hands feeling?"

"Still hurt when I move the fingers but not as bad as they did. Same with my leg. It just feels a little stiff but Peggy says we'll have it mobile in no time. The ribs and abdomen don't bother me unless I laugh. The arm feels better and isn't nearly as painful as it was."

Parker nodded as a smile formed on his face. "Sounds like you're making great strides towards being released from here."

Larabee's face lit up and he smiled. "When will that be?"

"Well, physically you still have at least a week of physiotherapy. So let's just give you next Friday as a tentative date for release. Of course it all depends on what Dr.

James has to say as well."

"Doc?" Larabee's look was hopeful as he trained his green eyes on her.

"I think next Friday should be time enough for us to get a few things out in the open."

"I can get out of here next Friday?"

"I said it was a tentative date for your release, Chris. We still have a lot of work to do before then," Parker told him.

"I'll work as hard as you need me too, Doc."

"I'm sure you will," Parker laughed.

"Chris?"

"Yeah, Doc?" Larabee turned his attention back to James.

"I've been talking with the hospital board and they've agreed that your men can take over the Sitter duties," she told him.

Larabee glanced from her to Ezra to Jake Taylor and back to James. "You mean I won't be under suicide watch anymore?" he asked hopefully.

"I didn't say that. The board wouldn't agree to leaving you alone. They've agreed to leave it to your men to be here for you. But it's your choice. Would you rather the hospital assign the man to stay with you or would you rather have one of your friends."

"Do you even have to ask? Sorry, Jake, no offence but I'd rather have my friends here," the blond told them.

"None taken, Chris, I'm glad things are finally working out for you," Taylor grinned at the younger man.

"Jake, you can report to your supervisor for reassignment," James told the older man.

"Yes, Ma'am," he said before turning to the blond. "Good luck, Chris."

"Thanks, Jake," Larabee breathed a sigh of relief as the man left the room.

"Ezra, it'll be up to you guys to make sure someone is here at all times," Midland said.

"We will, Doctor Midland."

"Just make sure Vin Tanner is not listed as being one of you. He is not to take on any physical duties and that includes spending too much time in this room."

"We'll make sure he's not on the schedule."

"Not on what schedule?"

"Your ears must've been burning, Mr. Tanner. We were just talking about you," Standish declared.

"What were you saying? Good morning, Chris."

"Morning, Vin."

"Hey, where's Jake?"

"He's gone," Larabee grinned.

"Gone where?" Tanner asked.

"The hospital has agreed to let Chris's men stay with him," James explained.

"That's great," Tanner was as excited as his friend by the news.

"I think so too," Larabee agreed.

"Vin, I don't want to catch you in here after visiting hours. You're being released today but that doesn't mean you're ready to go back to active duty. If I catch you here I'll have you banned from the floor. Do I make myself clear?" Midland asked.

"Sure, Doc," Tanner smiled handsomely.

"Vin, I'm not kidding here."

"You'd better listen to her, Vin," Larabee suggested.

"I said I would, didn't I, Cowboy?"

"Vin!"

Tanner smiled at his friend. "Don't worry, Chris, I'll be a good boy," the sharpshooter smiled in imitation of Larabee's own cocky grin.

"Oh, hell," Larabee grinned back at him.

"Ok, you two, enough," Midland laughed, glad to see the two friend's joking again.

"Vin, Dr. Marshall will be in to see you in a couple of minutes so if you want the discharge papers signed you'd better not keep him waiting," Midland warned him.

Larabee watched the expression on the younger man's face and knew he didn't want to leave right now. "It's ok, Vin. Go on. I'll be here when you're done."

"Alright, Chris. I'll be back as soon as he's gone." Larabee nodded as his friend left the room.

James watched as Midland and Parker examined the injured man. By the time they were finished he was bathed in sweat but still refused to push the button and receive the dose of morphine that would ease the reawakened wounds. She'd already noted on his chart that he hated drugs of any kind but she knew he needed help if he was to continue with the rest of the treatments through the day. She made a note to speak to Midland and Parker about Chris Larabee's stubborn refusal to use the pain killer.

"Chris, are you alright?"

"F...fine," Larabee gasped as the throbbing in his hands, legs, and abdomen continued unabated.

"Chris, no one will think any less of you if you press that button," Midland told him. "It's there to help you and it doesn't look like you took much of it since we changed it over to let you control it. Don't try to be superman because you're not. For now press the button and let it ease the pain. You've still got physio to get through just before lunch."

Larabee nodded slowly as he realized she was right. Fighting the pain was beginning to take its toll on his body and he knew he'd have to give in to it soon. He depressed the button and waited for the drug to ease the pain as he knew it would.

"That's better, Chris, now remember you can't take to much of it so use it when you need it," Midland ordered.

"Thanks, Doc," Larabee told her as the pain began to ease to a more tolerable level.

"Well it looks like your breakfast has arrived so we'll leave you to it," Parker said as he followed his two colleagues from the room.

"Chris, I'm Sharon, and I'll be with you today. I have your breakfast and your meds," an older nurse informed him. Her smile was infectious and Larabee returned it after she tipped the pill into his mouth and held the straw to his lips. He drank the cold water and waited for her to take it away.

"Thanks," he said.

"You're welcome. Do you need me to help you with breakfast?"

"No, thanks I think Ezra can help me out. Right, Ez?"

"Indubitably, Mr. Larabee."

"Oh, God, you've been watching Sherlock Holmes again."

"There's very little choice during the twilight hours," Standish grinned.

"Chris," Sharon smiled at both men. "You eat everything on your tray and I'll be back to help you get changed and into a chair."

"Alright," he told her as she left.

"Well, Mr. Larabee, what shall we start with?"

"Anything but the mush," Larabee groaned as Standish lifted the lid revealing the plain porridge underneath.

"Good choice," Standish said as he plopped the lid back on the dish and picked up the whole wheat toast.

Chapter 77

The next two days passed quickly for Chris and his men. Vin visited daily and stayed until one of the nurses kicked him out. Chris seemed to rally now that the Sitter was no longer in attendance, although he hadn't been surprised when Jake Taylor stopped by. His former sitter stopped by to see how the blond was making out.

They'd spent an hour talking and Chris developed a great admiration for the retired police officer.

Josiah Sanchez watched the two men, amazed at the quickly developing friendship he perceived. Somehow Jake was not the enemy anymore and Chris could see the true man for what he was. Sanchez smiled as he listened to Jake relaying some of his funniest experiences as a rookie cop on the beat. ‘It's good to hear your laughter again, Chris,' the ex-preacher thought.

"Well, Chris, visiting hours are just about over so I'd best be getting along. If it's alright with you I'd like to pop by again tomorrow."

"That's fine, Jake. Thanks for coming by," Larabee said gratefully.

"Take it easy, Son, and you'll be out of here in no time," Taylor grinned as he patted the younger man's shoulder.

Larabee grinned as the older man left. He looked down at his hands, smiling as he realized he could now do so many things for himself. The gauze was still wrapped around the injuries caused by the nail gun but his fingernails were on the mend. Parker was pleased to the extent that he'd removed the bandages and left his fingers free. He could now feed himself and even though it hurt he'd awkwardly finished everything on his dinner tray. He reached out and lifted the cup, sipping the ice water contentedly.

His fingers were stiff and he made a point of moving them, doing the exercises Peggy showed him. He winced as the effort pulled on the tortured skin between thumb and finger.

At the sound Sanchez looked up from his book but didn't say a word. He knew the blond was trying to do to much but he also knew it was typical Larabee. ‘It's good to see you fighting back, Brother,' he thought as he watched the man concentrate on the movement of his fingers.

The night nurse entered the room and changed the IV and antibiotics over the patient's head. She noted how much morphine he'd used, shaking her head as she realized how stubborn this particular patient was. "How are you doing, Chris?" she asked.

"I'm doing just fine," he answered honestly. Although he still felt some pain it wasn't nearly as bad as before.

"Alright, you call me if you need anything."

"I will," he assured her as JD Dunne entered the room.

"Hi, Chris, Josiah."

The two men nodded to JD and Sanchez stood up to leave. "Well, Brother, I'll see you tomorrow."

Larabee smiled at the older man. "I'll be here, Josiah."

Sanchez left the room, leaving Chris and JD alone. "How're you doing, Chris?"

Larabee saw the concern in the younger man's eyes and smiled. "I'm doing better, JD," he answered honestly.

"I'm glad, Chris. Can I give you a hand?" he asked as Larabee leaned across the table and awkwardly picked up the glass. "I...I..." Dunne stammered.

"It's ok, JD, I'm not gonna fall apart simply because you offered me a hand," Larabee grinned at the worried expression on the younger man's face. "A few days ago I probably would have but not anymore. I owe you guys a lot for what you've done for me."

"You don't owe us anything, Chris," Dunne assured him. "We're your friends and friends are there for each other."

Larabee yawned as he moved on the bed. It'd been a long day and he'd stayed awake through most of it. Now he needed something to take the edge of the throbbing in his hands so he pressed the tiny button and let the morphine hit his system. "JD, I'm gonna call it a night," he grinned. "Call me if you need anything."

"Sure, Chris," Dunne laughed.

Tony Sharpe watched the pretty young nurse standing at the coffee machine. He knew her name was Callie Willis. They'd dated a few times and he knew she was infatuated with him. Whistling softly he walked up to her. "Hi, gorgeous," he whispered in her ear.

Callie jumped but held onto the coffee, "Tony, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see you. I've missed our little meetings."

"Tony, you can't be here," she told him as he kissed her neck.

"Ah, come on, Callie, you can't tell me you haven't missed me."

"I've missed you, Tony, but I have to get back to my floor. I just came down to grab a coffee for me and JD," she told him.

"But..."

"No buts, Tony," she said as she turned in his arms so that she faced him.

He pressed his lips to hers, halting what she was about to say. Reaching behind her he emptied the tiny vial of Chloral Hydrate into the black coffee, knowing this had to be the one for JD as she took hers with cream.

Callie placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away. "I have to go, Tony. If you still want to get together I'm off tomorrow night."

"Ok, Callie, I guess I can wait that long," Sharpe pouted as the nurse picked up the coffees and hurried away. ‘Tonight, Larabee,' he thought, grinning malevolently.

"JD, I brought you a coffee."

"Thanks, Callie," Dunne said as he took the black coffee and sipped the bitter brew.

Callie saw the look on his face and fought to stop the laughter that bubbled up inside her. "I know it's not the best but what can you do when you have to buy it from the vending machines."

"It is a little bitter but at least it's strong," Dunne told her.

"How's he doing?"

"He's been asleep for a while now. Guess he wore himself out during the day."

"Yeah, I heard he does tend to over do things. Anyway, JD, just buzz if he needs anything at all. I'll be at the desk."

"I will, Callie, Thanks again for the coffee," he said as he sipped the strong, hot liquid.

"You're welcome," the young nurse whispered as she left the darkened room.

An hour later the door to three sixteen opened slowly and a figure slipped silently into the room. The light from the hallway spilled a couple of feet into the room, illuminating the man lying on the bed and the second man, sitting in a chair with his head tilted back, soft snores escaping from his sleeping form.

Sharpe grinned as he let the door slip closed behind him. He slowly stepped up to the bed, a dark object in his hands. He grinned down at the sleeping figure, placing the object on the bed before securing a piece of tape over the slightly open mouth. He switched on a tiny flashlight and placed it beside the blond head.

Chris came to with a start. Unable to see anything in the dark he struggled with his unseen enemy. He tried to breath through his mouth but was prevented from doing so by the tape. Panic set in and he used his injured hands to clasp onto an arm. Choking as both hands were caught and squeezed tightly, causing gut-wrenching pain as the wounds were pressed savagely.

"Lie still you pathetic bastard or I'll kill the kid."

Larabee recognized the hated voice from his nightmares and fought harder, pulling one hand from Sharpe's grip. The struggle ended all too soon as Sharpe reached down and pressed something against his right side.

Sharpe grinned as his victim's body reacted to the jolt of electricity that flowed through it. "Bet that's gotta hurt," he laughed as he touched the cattle prod to Larabee chest and legs over and over again.

The blond knew he was going to die. There was nothing he could do about it. The painful jolts and the subsequent violent arch of his body re-opened the wound in his side and he felt something sticky against the once clean bandages. He turned his head towards the sleeping figure in the chair wondering why the kid didn't wake up.

Chris breathed deeply as the cattle prod left his body and it dropped like dead weight onto the bed where he gasped for breath. Tears shone in his eyes but he wouldn't give Sharpe the satisfaction of seeing them fall. He felt Sharpe's mouth close to his ear, whispering softly, the words unmistakable as he squeezed the tiny puncture wounds on the blonde's left hand.

"I won't kill you, Larabee, you'll do that yourself when the time is right you pathetic bastard. Tell anyone I was here and I'll just have to kill Tanner first. Keep watching for me cause I'll be back for you."

With those words Chris felt the tape pulled from his mouth and he was once more left alone in the darkened confines of his room. Fear travelled down his spine as he looked at the young man seated in the chair. "JD," he called, hoping the younger man was alright but knowing something had been done to keep the kid from coming to his aid. "JD, please," Larabee called but received no answer.

Ignoring the white hot agony in his hands he depressed the button on the side of his bed till he was sitting straight up. Once upright he waited for the room to stop spinning. The IV in his left forearm restricted his movements and he pulled it from his arm in his haste to check on the younger man. He slid to the end of the bed, his breath coming in painful gasps as his feet touched the floor. "JD!" he gasped as he tried to cover the distance between his bed and the chair. Although it was only a few feet it felt more like a mile as his body wavered and started to fall. His hand touched the younger man's leg as he slid to the floor, crying out as his hands and side erupted in new agonies. "P...please, K...kid, w...wake up," Larabee begged as the darkness in the room gave wake to an even darker unconscious state.

Callie Willis shook her head as she came back from break. She yawned as she made her rounds, checking her patients and looking at her watch. Three more hours before her shift ended and she could go home and rest. She paused outside three sixteen, checking the chart on the med cart to see if this patient required anything new.

She picked up a new bag of IV solution and opened the darkened room. Her mind registered the empty bed before her eyes caught sight of the pale figure lying on the floor. "Shit," she cried as she turned back to the desk. "Wendy, get Dr. Miller up here now," she ordered as she stepped into the room, turning on the light and illuminating the entire scene. Dunne still sat in the chair, his head leaning back, his mouth opened slightly, soft snores emanating from his sleeping form.

The young nurse knelt beside the blond, reaching out and touching her fingers to the vein in the neck, breathing deeply as she felt the pulse beat underneath her fingertips.

"What happened, Callie?"

"I don't know, Wendy. I was just doing rounds and found him like this. Is Doctor Miller on his way?"

Wendy nodded as she moved to check the younger man who'd started moaning softly. "JD, wake up."

"Hmm," Dunne groaned as he lifted his hands to his head. Slowly he forced his eyes open, fighting the lights that danced before his eyes. "W...what?" he gasped as he struggled to full consciousness. His eyes came to rest on the to still figure on the floor. "Oh, God, Chris," he gasped, trying to stand but falling to the floor as he was overcome by dizziness.

The door burst open as a tall gangly man in his mid to late forties hurried into the room. "What's happened?" he asked as he knelt beside the injured man.

"I don't know. I found him like this," Callie explained. "I think he's coming round."

He could hear urgent voices and knew they were talking about him. Something in the tone told him if he opened his eyes he'd be in for new pain, new agony. ‘Stay down, Larabee,' he ordered but visions of an unconscious young man prevented him from slipping back into the welcome void. "JD," he gasped as his eyelids fluttered open.

"I'm here, Chris," Dunne gasped.

"Y...you ok?" Larabee asked as he lifted his head and tried to turn over.

"Be still, Mr. Larabee," Miller ordered. "Let me take a look at you."

"I...I'm ok," Larabee grated out as he turned on his side.

"No, you're not. Now lie still," Miller helped Larabee turn onto his back, ignoring the gasp of concern from the young man behind him. "What happened here, Mr.

Larabee?" he asked as he noticed fresh blood seeping through the bandages on the patient's side.

Chris heard Sharpe's warning and wouldn't meet the doctors eyes as he answered, "I fell."

"That could possibly explain the fresh bleeding but it doesn't explain the burn marks," Miller told him.

"Burns!" Dunne exclaimed, groaning as his head pounded unmercifully.

"What's w...wrong, JD?" Larabee asked.

"Just have a headache," Dunne explained.

Suddenly suspicious of the way Dunne acted since she'd come into the room, Callie asked Wendy to check the younger man. "JD, look at me."

Dunne tried to focus on the young nurse but his eyes refused to cooperate. "Doctor, I think he may have been drugged," she said.

"Take him down to emergency and have them do blood work," Miller ordered as Callie helped him get Larabee back in the bed.

"No, I can't leave Chris alone," Dunne gasped as Wendy helped him to stand.

"G...go, JD," Larabee ordered.

"C...Chris, I..."

"I'm fine, JD," the blond lied as the nurse led the younger man out of the room.

"Callie, I want you to restart his IV," Miller ordered, lifting the bandages from the injured man's abdomen.

"Yes, Doctor," she said as she hurried from the room.

Miller opened a sterile dressing tray and cleaned the wound. Satisfied that it wouldn't cause any more problems he placed a saline soaked gauze pad over it and covered it with a clean dry bandage, securing it in place with tape. By the time he was finished Callie returned with a new IV set up. She lifted the left arm, her face showing concern as she noticed the redness and renewed swelling in the area between the thumb and index finger. Her eyes met Larabee's and she could see the pain he was trying to hide. "Doctor, I think you'd better look at this," she suggested.

Miller looked up from examining the fresh burns on Larabee's chest. He'd counted seven in all and knew they'd need to be treated. "What?"

Larabee cried out as the doctor removed the gauze from his hands. "Mr. Larabee, who did this to you?"

"I fell," the blond repeated as visions of Sharpe torturing Vin Tanner came to mind.

"I don't think so. Oh, I believe you did fall but there's a lot more going on here. Callie, get that IV started and make sure you hook the morphine infusion pump back up as well."

"N...no, said I could c...control how much I t...took," Larabee told them.

"You'll still be able to control it but I need to fix up your hands and these burns and I want you comfortable while I do it."

"Chris, you're going to feel a small prick now," Callie warned as she expertly restarted the IV, running the morphine into the tubing as well. Without a word to the patient she pressed the button on the tiny box, delivering the pain medication into his abused body.

Larabee closed his eyes as the morphine entered his body. As he drifted towards sleep he felt the doctor and nurse manipulating his hands and cleaning the puncture wounds. His thoughts drifted towards this latest encounter with Sharpe and he knew there was no way he would ever escape him. His tortured mind struggled to fight the waves of agonizing defeat that threatened to overwhelm him. The more the morphine controlled his pain the more visions of Sharpe, Whelan, and Wilcox invaded his subconscious. They'd beaten him. No matter how hard he fought they always showed up, tearing down the layers of safety he'd built around himself with the help of his friends. Finally he slipped into a deep sleep where nothing invaded his dreams. A sigh escaped his lips as he surrendered once more to the cloying darkness.

"Callie," Miller said as he finished re-bandaging the damaged hands and treating the new burns on his chest and thighs. "Make sure he's not left alone. It says on his chart that his men are watching him but after what's just happened I don't think that's such a wise idea. Have someone sent over from the psych department to stay with him until Dr. James gets in. I also want security and the police department called. There's no way those wounds were caused by a fall. "

"Yes, Doctor," Callie said pushing the button beside Larabee's head. The call was answered and she explained to the nurse what Miller wanted.

"Don't leave him alone, Callie," he ordered as he left the room.

"I won't," she told him, as she pulled the chair up to the bed. Her mind wondering to the meeting with Tony Sharpe. ‘Did you do this, Tony? Did you use me to get to him?' she wondered.

Chapter 78

Chris slowly became aware of movement around him. He knew something was wrong. He could feel someone touching him, talking to him but he couldn't answer.

His body wasn't his own anymore. It belonged to anyone who wanted to hurt him. It belonged to Whelan, Wilcox, and Sharpe. They'd proved they could get to him no matter what his friends did or said. He drifted back towards unconsciousness until Sharpe's words penetrated the fog. ‘Tell anyone I was here and I'll just have to kill Tanner first.'

With that threat echoing through his troubled mind he knew he had to find out if Vin Tanner was ok. Steeling himself against the pain he knew would be there on awakening he opened heavy eyelids and turned to the sound of the voices. His eyes focused on the worried faces of Josiah Sanchez and Nathan Jackson. The two men were turned towards each other talking conspiratorially. A third figure, Chris recognized as Jake Taylor sat in a chair across the room. "Not a suicide risk," he hissed as he tried to sit up in the bed.

Jackson and Sanchez moved as one. Each man pressing a shoulder back onto the bed. "Easy, Brother," Sanchez said.

"Lie still, Chris," Jackson ordered.

Larabee glared at the two men, angered by his own weakness as well as their ability to keep him down. "Why's he back here?"

"Chris, Dr. Miller ordered it last night. Dr. James and Dr. Midland are going to talk with the board this afternoon. For now he stays."

"Dammit, Nathan, I'm not gonna do anything stupid," Larabee protested. His eyes suddenly widened as memories of the night before flooded his mind. "Oh, God,

JD, is he alright?"

"JD's gonna be fine. He's got a bit of a headache and Buck took him home," Jackson explained.

Larabee swallowed as he remembered his inability to wake the young man. "Where's, Vin?" he asked worriedly.

"Vin was still sleeping when we left," Sanchez told him.

Larabee once more fought to get up. "I have to see him. Have to make sure he's ok. He's not alone, is he?."

Two pairs of strong hands held him down once more. "Vin's with Ezra, Chris, now just lie still. Dr. Midland and Dr. James will be here in a couple of minutes."

"Please, Nate, I have to see him," the pale blond begged.

"I'll call and see if he's up to coming over," Jackson assured him.

"T...thanks," he whispered, his eyes filled with worry for his best friend. Sharpe's threat kept repeating in his mind and he wondered if he'd make good on the threat.

He tried to move his fingers but found they'd stiffened up again. He lifted his hands and gasped as he saw the swelling surrounding the area again. He remembered

Sharpe pressing his fingers into the injured joints and the stomach churning agony it caused. ‘Will I ever get my freedom back?' he thought as he dropped his hands back to the bed.

Flashes of the night before continued to replay in his mind. He flinched as he remembered the tip of the cattle prod pressed against his skin, the jolt causing his body to arch upwards on the bed. He fought to breath as he leaned heavily into the pillow.

"Chris, what's wrong?" Jackson asked worriedly.

"Can't s...stop t...them," Larabee hissed weakly. "Gotta stop them f...from h...hurting V...Vin."

"Nobody's gonna hurt Vin, Chris," Sanchez soothed as he gently placed his hands on Larabee's shoulders.

"Have to make sure, J...Josiah. God, everything h...hurts," the blond gasped as he tried to get comfortable on the bed.

"Want me to press the button?" Jackson asked, lifting the little box used to control the morphine.

Larabee shook his pounding head before answering. "Not till I s...see Vin."

"Chris, I haven't even called him yet. He's probably still sleeping."

"I c...can wait," the blond told him as he watched two women enter the room.

"Chris, how're you feeling?" James asked.

"F...fine."

"Chris," Jackson's tone assured the blond that if he didn't tell the truth the medic would.

Larabee was quiet as he watched the doctors come closer. He didn't have to answer as the doctors could see the pain etched on his handsome face.

"Chris, if you don't use it like you should I will have them reprogram it to automatic again," Midland warned.

"After I see Vin."

"Now."

Larabee nodded his head and Jackson placed the box under his hand. Chris reluctantly depressed the button delivering the much needed pain relief to his body.

"Stop trying to be so tough all the time, Chris," Midland scolded.

"Not tough. Never will be again," his quiet voice told them.

"Yes, you will, Brother, it may take some time but we'll be there with you and we'll make sure you've got all the time you need. I promise you that."

Larabee shook his head viciously as he looked at the people in the room. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Josiah."

James shook her head at the others, not wanting any of them to speak. "Chris, Are you ready to tell us what happened last night?"

‘Tell anyone I was here and I'll just have to kill Tanner first.' The hated words echoed in his mind as he looked towards the psychiatrist. "JD fell asleep and I fell off the bed."

"That doesn't explain the burns on your chest and legs, Chris," Midland said.

"Guess I was careless."

"Careless?" James asked.

"Yeah, careless, not s...supposed to smoke in the h...hospital," Larabee mumbled as he was pulled towards sleep.

"They're not cigarette burns, Chris," James insisted. "What really happened?"

Larabee yawned as he answered in an almost robotic tone. "S...Sharpe s...said he'd k...kill Vin if I..." his voice trailed off as he slipped into a deep sleep once more.

"That son of a bitch," Sanchez snarled as he struggled to control his anger. "If I get my hands on him I'll tear him apart."

"Calm down, Josiah, that won't do Chris or Vin any good," Midland ordered.

"Did you hear him? Did you? He said Sharpe did this to him," Sanchez hissed.

"No, he said Sharpe threatened to kill Vin. He never said Sharpe did this to him."

"You can't be serious, Nathan?"

"Josiah, think about it. Until Chris comes right out and says it was Sharpe the DA won't charge him with anything but threatening another person. At least he's got police protection outside the door now. With one of us in here at all times he'll be safe."

James turned to Taylor, "Jake you can leave now."

"You sure, Doc, I don't mind staying with him."

"I know, Jake but right now your presence is too much of a reminder of why he's here."

"Alright, Doc, think he'd mind if I stopped by later as a friend instead of a sitter?"

"I think he'd like that, Jake," Jackson answered, smiling as the retired police officer left the room.

"Doc, how bad a setback is this?" Sanchez asked.

"It's set his physical recovery back a few days. The swelling is not as pronounced as it was when he first came in but it's enough to make the Physio painful again.

The wound in his side opened a little but it's also not as bad as it could've been," Midland explained.

The two men turned towards the psychiatrist and waited for her to speak.

"Until Chris is willing to open up and talk about what happened he'll be considered a risk. I'm sorry but he really needs to tell us what Whelan, Wilcox, and Sharpe did to him."

"Don't you mean what they're doing to him?" Sanchez asked.

"I mean both. He really does need to let it out. He needs to talk about the fear, the anger, the torture he was put through. He also needs to face how this has affected his trust in Vin Tanner. Oh, I know he's talking to him and says he knows Vin had nothing to do with all of this but deep down a part of him hasn't come to grips with it. He needs to talk everything out and the sooner the better."

"He was asking to see Vin," Jackson told her.

"Did he say why?" James asked.

"He wanted to make sure he was ok." Sanchez answered.

"I was just about to call him when you came in."

"Is Vin alright to come in?" James asked.

"Are you kidding? We won't be able to keep him away," Jackson told her.

"Alright have him come in when he's ready. Meanwhile we're going to let Chris sleep for awhile. Nathan, let the nurses know if he needs anything."

"I will, Doc, thanks."

Chapter 79

His blue eyes were filled with anger as he sat in the chair next to his best friend's bed. His own body ached but the pain medication the doctors provided him with took enough of the edge off for him to get around. His rage at Gary Wilcox continued to grow each time he looked at his friend's injuries, the reminder of what his friendship with Wilcox had almost cost him.

Vin watched the sleeping man, concerned when the blond head would toss to and fro as if caught in a nightmare. He looked at his watch then back to the man on the bed. Nothing had changed since his arrival nearly two hours before. Chris continued to sleep, sometimes with an expression bordering on peace but most of the time his face was contorted with pain and anger. The worst part came when Vin saw the palpable fear creep over the handsome features. He'd been reading up on victim's of torture and what to expect afterwards and he'd vowed to be there to help Chris through it. The experience and its aftermath would be with Chris Larabee for the rest of his life but so would Vin Tanner. He was going to make sure Chris found the strength he needed to rid his body and soul of the horrors Gary Wilcox,

Whelan, and Tony Sharpe did to him.

The sharpshooter watched the eye movement that signaled the injured man was on the verge of waking. He listened to the muttered groan as unfocused green eyes opened. "Hey, Cowboy, how're you doin'?"

Larabee focused on the caring blue eyes of the younger man. The relief he felt washed some of the weariness from his own face, replacing it with a small smile. "Vin, are you ok?"

Tanner couldn't help but laugh. "I'm fine, Chris, it's you we're all worried about."

"I'm doing ok, Vin," Larabee muttered. "Can you help me sit up?"

"Sure," Tanner said as he pressed the button, raising his friend to a sitting position.

"Thanks," Larabee whispered as he waited for his head to clear. Finally his eyes came to rest on the empty chair across the room. "Where's..."

"Dr. James says you don't need him when you got us to look after you," Tanner interrupted.

"Good. I wouldn't mind Jake coming back to visit though. He's amazing, Vin."

Tanner smiled at the wistful look on his friend's face. "I'm sure he is."

The two men lapsed into companionable silence. Chris closing his eyes and snapping them open as memories of the night before came over him.

Tanner watched his friend's face, knowing the fear wouldn't go away until he talked about what happened to him. "Chris?" Larabee's eyes opened and gazed at the other man. "We need to talk."

"About what?"

"About Gary," Larabee's eyes turned cold as he listened to his friend. "About Whelan," the cold became glacial. "About what's been done to you."

"There's nothing to talk about," the blond told him.

"Chris?"

"Not now, Vin."

"Now's as good a time as any, Chris. Was Sharpe here last night?" worried about the flat tone of voice the blond was using. It sounded as if he was trying to distance himself from what happened.

"Can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Told me not to."

"Who told you not to?"

"Can't tell you. Kill you if I do, Vin. Don't you see? I can't be the cause of your death as well. Already killed S...Sarah and Adam..."

"You didn't kill Sarah and Adam, Chris."

"I know that, Vin, and I keep telling myself that b...but I hear him t...telling me I did it. He's in my mind, Vin, inside my head and I can't get rid of him. I hear him telling me how I murdered Sarah and Adam. I hear him t...telling me it was you paying him. I know it wasn't, Vin, I swear I don't believe him but when I'm sleeping I can't get away from him. I can't tune him out and he says the same thing over and over. Oh, God, I can't get him out," Larabee screamed and placed his injured hands to his pounding head. "Why can't I make him stop? Why can't I get past all this? Why does he want to torture me, Vin? Why?" the blond cried angrily, fighting back the tears, not wanting to show his friend what he perceived as his own weakness.

"Chris, it's going to take some time but if you're willing to let me I'll help you through it. I'm here, Pard, I always will be. All it take is for you to want that help. For you to want to take your life back."

"I want that, Vin, I want that so much. It's just they always seem to get to me."

"Not anymore, Chris. There's a police officer outside your door and one of us will be with you constantly."

"Do you really think that matters, Vin? He got in here last night. Thought JD was dead, Vin. Thought he'd killed him. I can't seem t...to think straight."

"JD's fine, Chris. I saw him a few minutes ago and he feels terrible. Blames himself for letting Sharpe get to you."

Larabee shook his head, "Not his fault. Sharpe must've drugged him."

"Callie Willis gave the police a statement. She told them Sharpe was in the vending room while she was there getting coffee for JD. That's probably how he drugged the kid."

Larabee nodded slowly. "Sharpe's not gonna give up, Vin. He's gonna keep coming until he's ready to kill me."

"Sharpe won't get in here anymore, Chris. There's an APB out on him. The police want to question him about what happened to you."

Larabee twisted on the bed until he was resting on his right hip, "They won't find him," he said, his eyes suddenly growing heavy. "He's a cold blooded animal, Vin, and he's going to kill you if he finds out I told them he was here," he yawned and felt the pull of sleep once more. "Dammit, why do I feel so fucking tired all the time," he swore, grimacing as he struck out with his hands, hitting the rails again, crying out in pain and anger at the painful contact.

"Chris!" Tanner snapped as he grabbed the injured hands, wrapping his own around them. "That's not going to help."

"Nothing helps, Vin," the blond whispered weakly. "Nothing at all. Just can't seem to do a...anything on my own..."

Tanner settled the hands back on the bed and lowered the head as his friend once more slipped towards sleep. "You will, Chris. So help me, God, you will. I'll stick with you until we both feel safe," Tanner whispered, finally admitting the fear he felt about what was being done to both him and his friend.

Chapter 80

The next two days became somewhat routine for Chris. Midland, Parker, and James stopped by to see him. Peggy was there just before lunch to go through the physiotherapy with him. Vin was a constant companion during the day, no matter who else was in the room with him.

They continued to talk about the horrors of Chris's torture and what it could've done to their friendship. Tears threatened to spill from both sets of tired eyes when

Chris told Vin about Whelan using Sarah and Adam's death as a form of mental anguish.

Vin knew all of this, the images and screams replaying in his mind, making it unnecessary for him to view the tapes again. He knew Chris would be subjected to those tapes when Wilcox was brought to trial and he vowed to be there to help him through it.

Larabee could tell his friend was hurting and he knew there was little he could do to alleviate the guilt written on the younger man's face. He reached out with his left hand, the gauze once more reduced to just covering the puncture wounds between his thumb and finger. In spite of the pain the movements caused he wrapped his finger around Tanner's hand.

The Sharpshooter's eyes snapped open and he stared into the eyes of his friend. He felt the hand grasping his and knew their friendship had survived the torment and trauma inflicted on it. Chris Larabee was the one constant in his life and he wanted, no, needed to know he'd forgiven him his part in Wilcox's insidious plan for revenge.

"Vin, I don't blame you," Larabee said, reading the pain on his friend's face.

"You should, Chris. If it wasn't for me none of this would've happened. You wouldn't be lying here because of something I did or should I say didn't do?"

"You did nothing wrong, Vin. Wilcox is a sick twisted man. There was no way you could have known what he'd do. Hell, Vin, you didn't even know he was alive."

"I should've made sure I got him out of Beirut," unable to face his friend he let his eyes drop to the floor.

"Vin, look at me," Larabee ordered gently, waiting for the blue eyes to come up and meet his once more. He gasped at the empty depths he saw there. "You can't blame yourself. You were injured and unconscious. There was nothing you could've done differently."

"I wish I could believe you, Chris," the misty blue eyes continued their downcast journey until Tanner felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Josiah Sanchez standing over them.

"Listen to Chris, Brother. You did nothing to be ashamed of," Sanchez told him. "Gary Wilcox has a sick view of an eye for an eye and it's no one's fault but his own what happened to him. Let me finish, Vin," he said as he watched Tanner's mouth open. "I'm not saying it was his fault that he was captured or yours either. What

I'm trying to tell you is that it's his fault that he let the experience eat him up inside. He let what was done to him turn him into a bitter shell of the man you knew.

There was nothing to prevent him from seeking you out once he finally escaped Beirut and if he had I'm sure he would have realized it was not your fault. But it's to late for him now. He's turned his life to vengeance and he's going to find that Vengeance does not always relieve the pain or the hurt we feel. Don't let this make you into a bitter man, Vin Tanner. We need you in our lives and we're all willing to fight to keep you there."

Larabee looked from the sharpshooter to the ex-preacher and realized the man's words were sinking into the younger man, wrapping him in a cloak of warmth and friendship. Something he hoped Tanner would understand and except. "Josiah's right, Vin, we need you."

Tanner swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded slightly. "Thanks," was the only thing he could say as he felt the warmth and compassion of both older men.

"I told you before, Vin, anytime," Larabee grinned.

"Hey, can we come in?" Wilmington's voice called from the open door. They'd witnessed the emotional exchange and hadn't wanted to interrupt.

"Sure, Buck," Tanner kept his head diverted and swiped at his eyes.

"We brought Pizza and Pepsi," Dunne whispered conspiratorially.

"Sounds great," Larabee said, his eyes never straying from the long haired man seated next to him. "What do you say, Vin? We gonna eat some Pizza?"

"Well now, Chris..."

"Nathan, you're not going to stop me from having a piece. I've been eating hospital food for far to long. I need something nutritional to help get my strength back," the blond grinned at the medic.

"One piece, Chris," Jackson acquiesced, placing a paper plate on the table for Larabee. "You'd better not get any sauce on those bandages or we'll be in trouble with the nursing staff.

"Oh, Nathan, I'll be careful. I'm not gonna let any sauce get anywhere but in my mouth," the blond assured him as he carefully picked up the triangular offering.

Six men smiled as their leader bit into the pizza, his eyes closed and a smile covered his face as he savored the taste of plain pepperoni and cheese pizza. "Hmm,"

Larabee's grin widened as he felt sauce trickle from the corners of his mouth. He picked up a napkin and wiped it off. "Feel like it's been forever," he bit off another piece and placed the pizza back on the plate. "Do I get Pepsi too?"

"No!" Jackson exclaimed, placing a glass of juice beside the plate.

"Come on, Nathan, that's all they've been giving me in here. Juice and milk. God I'd do anything for a good strong cup of coffee."

"It won't be long more and you'll be allowed to have anything you want," Jackson assured him.

Chris finished the pizza, surprised at how quickly his appetite had been slaked. He wanted another piece but knew his stomach wouldn't appreciate it. He leaned back against his pillow and without realizing it drifted off to sleep, listening to the soft banter between his friends. ‘Have to talk to the police,' he thought as he slipped into a deeper sleep.

The six men knew when Larabee fell asleep and they moved to make him more comfortable. JD removed the table, Wilmington wiped the remnants of the pizza from his mouth, Tanner lowered the bed, as Jackson lifted the blankets up over him.

"T...thanks,' Larabee mumbled, drifting back to sleep.

"Vin, you need to go home and get some rest," Jackson ordered, He'd been watching the pained expression on the sharpshooter's face and knew he hadn't been sleeping well.

"In a little while, Nate."

"No, now, Vin. Buck's going to stay with him this evening and Ezra has the nightshift covered. You're going home and going to bed before you collapse."

"You heard him, brother," Sanchez said. "Come on. I'll drive you back to the ranch."

"Josiah, you need some rest too. JD and I will take Vin home and stay with him," Jackson told the ex-preacher.

"I don't need any babysitters," Tanner said, his eyes suddenly falling on the man in the bed as he realized what he'd said. He breathed a sigh of relief as he noticed the steady rise and fall of his chest. His eyes darkened, his fists clenched as he looked at the bandages covering the newest burns on Larabee's body. His own shoulder throbbed as he leaned against the bed and tried to ignore the rising tide of emotions.

"Come on, Vin, I'll take you home," Jackson told him.

"Alright, Nate," Tanner answered, his voice sounded defeated as he allowed the medic to lead him from the room.

Chapter 81

"Wilcox."

"It's me."

"Are you an idiot, Sharpe? I told you not to call me here."

"I had to. I found a way to get to Larabee but it'll have to be tomorrow night."

"How?" Whelan's voice was filled with a heady excitement at the thought of his final revenge.

"A buddy of mine is going to cause a disturbance and get that cop away from the door."

"What about the man in Larabee's room?"

"I'll take care of him before I bring Larabee to the roof."

"How are you going to get him up to the roof?"

"I've got a little drug called Lorazepam and I'm going to slip it into his snack tomorrow night. It's easy to get to the cart while the candy striper is going into the other rooms."

"What will the Lorazepam do to him?"

"It'll make him drowsy and easier for me to handle. Should make him more susceptible to suggestions as well."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Then I'll just have to give him a little push," Sharpe laughed.

"I want Tanner there to witness it."

"That's why I'm telling you now. You'll have to figure out a way to get him there."

"I'll get him there. How do you plan on getting past the alarms?"

"You forget I worked for the hospital. I know the codes for the doors. When the time comes I'll get you on the roof and then collect Larabee and bring him up there."

"What time should I be there?"

"Ten pm should be perfect. Visiting hours are over and there'll be less chance of us being seen. You meet me at the cargo elevator and I'll get you upstairs."

"I'll be there," Wilcox grinned as he hung up the phone. He sat back in his chair and looked at the pictures in the small cabinet. He knew Tanner and his men had seen them but there was no law against having newspaper clippings on his wall. He'd already removed most of the torn or ripped ones before Tanner broke into his office. He picked up a picture and shook his head. "Tomorrow night, Vin. It all ends for you and Larabee tomorrow night," he said as he ripped the picture of himself and Vin Tanner to shreds.

Chapter 82

The next morning brought more of the same with Peggy helping him do the exercises to help his hands and leg. There was still pain but it wasn't as bad as before and he knew he was making progress. Now he faced down the three medical personnel who'd helped him get this far.

Larabee was adamant and he wasn't taking no for an answer. James, Midland, and Locke stood before him. "I need to do this."

"I'll agree to it if you allow me to be present, Chris, and if you agree that I can call a halt if I think it's getting too hard for you," James told him.

"I...I guess so," the blond agreed.

"I'll call Captain Miller," Midland said.

"Thanks, Stacy," James told her as she sized up the man before her.

"I can do this, Doc. No, that's not right. I have to do this," Larabee informed her.

"Ok, Chris, I think you're right. This might help you put some closure on what happened to you."

"What will?" Tanner asked as he stepped into the somber room, Jackson and Dunne following close behind.

"I'm going to give the police my statement. I think it's about time Wilcox was off the street and in jail where the son of a bitch belongs."

"You sure you're up for this, Cowboy?"

"I'm sure, Vin. I seem to remember someone saying I'm the only one who can place Wilcox at the w...warehouse," Larabee stammered on the last word.

Swallowing the painful lump that came up in his throat. He couldn't give in to a panic attack now, he had to do this and get rid of the threat against Vin's life. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply as he felt the trembling fear leave his body. He knew he had to face this demon and slay it before it was to late.

"Chris," Tanner said.

"I'm ok, Vin, I j...just have to do this."

"You want me to stay with you?"

"Do you feel up to it? I mean I know I'm going to have to tell them what happened at the w...warehouse. Tell them what Wilcox said to me and what his plans were."

"If you can do it, Pard, I can do it."

"Thanks, Vin, I'd like you to be there."

Midland returned with the news that Miller and one of his officers would be there within the hour to take Larabee's statement.

Chris smiled at the crowd in the room, knowing that what he was about to do was one of the hardest things he'd ever done in his life. Somehow, with the help of his closest friends he'd get through it. He sighed and relaxed against the pillows, letting his eyes slide closed. He heard the doctors leave the room and knew instinctively that his friends remained. Keeping his eyes closed he listened to the softly spoken conversation between them. He knew they were worried about him and what he was about to go through. ‘Hell. Larabee, do you even know what you're about to do. Can you face what Whelan did to you?' he thought and then answered his own question. ‘I have too.' He felt his mind drifting towards sleep once more and wondered if there'd ever be a time when he didn't feel like falling asleep at the drop of a hat.

"Chris, are you awake?"

"I'm awake, Buck," Larabee answered. The truth was he hadn't slept long and was guilty of listening in on the conversation his men were having. A conversation laced with concern for him and what he'd already been through and would have to go through once Wilcox came to trial.

"Captain Miller is here."

"Ok, just give me a minute," Larabee told his oldest friend.

"No problem. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah, Buck, I'm sure. Can you raise my head a little more. My hands are shaking so bad I can't seem to find the button."

"Sure, Stud," Wilmington smiled as he raised the head of the bed so his friend was in an almost completely upright position. He swung the small table so that it rested over Larabee's legs.

"Thanks," the blond said as he reached for the glass of ice water. "Where's Vin?"

"He's gone to the cafeteria with Nathan and JD. They should be back any minute. Don't worry Vin will be here."

Larabee smiled at how easily Buck read him but before he could say anything the door opened and James, Miller, and a female officer came into the room. He swallowed the rising panic as he watched them cross the small space to his bed. ‘Dammit, Larabee, get a grip,' he thought angrily.

"Chris, you don't have to do this right now," Wilmington said as he watched his friend's face pale even further.

"Y...yeah, Buck, I do," he whispered hoarsely.

"You want me to stay?"

Larabee wanted nothing more than to have the moustached man stay with him but he wasn't sure he could talk openly with the highly emotional man in the room.

Buck wore his feeling on his face and he was already showing the pain he felt. "It's alright, Buck, Dr. James'll be here."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure, Buck. I'll be fine."

"Ok, Chris, but you tell them to come get me if you need me."

"I will," Larabee sighed and waited for the other man to leave. "Lets get this over with."

"Alright, Chris, just remember you can call a halt to it whenever you need to."

"I know, Doc, thanks."

"Chris, this is Sylvie. She's a police stenographer and she's going to take down your statement."

Larabee swallowed once more, his throat suddenly dry as the moment he'd dreaded was finally upon him. ‘Where are you, Vin?' he thought.

"I'm right here, Cowboy," Tanner answered as if the other man had spoken aloud.

Chris smiled as his friend walked into the room and sat next to the bed. He took a deep breath and then turned to Miller. "Where do you want me to start?" he asked.

"If you're up to it I'd like to hear everything from the beginning. From the time you and Vin arrived at his ranch."

"Is that really necessary? I mean you already have my statement."

"Sooner or later we have to hear it from Chris," Miller answered.

"It's alright, Vin, I can do it," Larabee said, closing his eyes in order to stop the queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Finally he forced his eyes open and began to speak, surprised at how weak his voice sounded. "Vin invited me back to his place for a barbecue. We'd had a pretty busy day at the office and were both looking forward to watching the baseball game. Vin went to get us both a beer while I waited. When he didn't show up I...I went to find him. He wasn't in the kitchen and I knew something was wrong. I drew my gun and went into the dining room. V...Vin was sitting at the table. Two men wearing masks held guns to his head. I...I knew something was wrong with Vin when he didn't move. Whelan was to my right and he told me to drop the gun or his men would s...shoot, Vin," he closed his eyes as the words brought everything forward and he once again felt the helplessness of the situation. His body trembled as he opened his eyes and stared around the room, stopping at each person, before coming to rest on the man whose memories of that night he shared.

Tanner could see how hard this was on the injured man. He could see the fear in the green eyes but he could also see determination and he knew Chris would get through this. He nodded his head and waited for the older man to continue.

"I dropped the gun and Whelan told me to get down on my knees. M...my hands were cuffed behind me and I was forced to sit in a chair. Whelan told me that someone wanted revenge on Vin and that he was going to use m...me to exact it. H...he released my hands again and told me to place my left hand on the table,"

Larabee's eyes dropped to his hands as he talked quietly. "I didn't want to b...but I heard the gun at Vin's head being cocked and I had no choice. T...then Whelan asked for my right hand. I could see the fear in Vin's eyes b...but the fear wasn't for himself it was for me. I had no choice but to do as he said. H...he snapped my wrist as if it was kindling. God i...it hurt so much," Larabee told them. He reached for the glass of water to moisten his dry mouth once more. Taking a deep breath he continued with his story. "My hands were once more placed in cuffs and they blindfolded me. They took me outside and shoved me into a car or something.

Whelan kept talking to me. Asking me questions. I tried to get a fix on where they were taking me b...but I couldn't concentrate. He just wouldn't shut up, kept telling me we were going to be close and that I'd soon meet his client. I don't know how long we drove but when we stopped they pulled me out of the car and we walked into some kind of building. I couldn't see anything." Larabee stopped and leaned back against the pillow, waiting for the memories and conflicting emotions to stop.

"Chris, you can finish this later if you want," Tanner told him.

"No! I have to finish it now. I have to get through this now or I'll never be free of the memories! I can't go on living like I have been. Afraid of seeing Wilcox or

S...Sharpe around every corner. They took my life from me Vin and I'm going to make damn sure I take it back!"

Tanner nodded and Chris picked up where he'd left off.

"He took off the cuffs and warned me not to try anything. I tried to fight them but someone put a gun to m...my head. Whelan's voice was all I heard. I still couldn't see anything because of the blindfold. He told me to strip down to my underwear. I didn't have a...a choice. I did as he told me to and they put me i...in a c...chair.

Vin watched as Chris's fingers squeezed tightly and his face clouded over with pain. "Chris?"

"I'm ok, Vin. I can do this."

Tanner nodded slightly, his face filled with worry for his friend. "Alright."

"He wrapped chains around my ankles and placed some kind of choker around my n...neck. It felt cold, like ice," he told them, his eyes once more falling to his hands. "Someone held my hands down on the arms of the chair a...and h...he....Oh God he placed a fuckin' nail gun on my hand and I screamed. I...I couldn't h...help it. T...the pain w...was so bad and I...I couldn't stop it. I s...screamed and it didn't matter. He just l...laughed and did the same t...thing to my other h...hand."

"Take it easy, Chris, just take deep breaths and go slowly."

"Thanks, Doc," he whispered turning red-rimmed eyes on her. "He kept telling me not to pull my hands away or he'd h...have to do it again. Jesus, I could have p...pulled them away if I tried. H...he did the same thing to my other h...hand and then put clamps over my wrists. Godammit, I felt so helpless. I...I've never felt like that before," he once more reached for the glass, only to find he'd emptied it.

Vin took it from his shaking hands and refilled the glass for him. "Thanks," Larabee rasped as he drank greedily before placing the glass back on the table. He took a deep breath and continued with the tale. "Whelan had the c...camera turned off and then told me he wanted to introduce me to his client. A man in a wheelchair came into the light. I didn't even know he was there. He'd w...watched the whole thing and hadn't made a sound. He said his name was Gary Woodbury and that he'd waited a long time for this. He started asking me about Vin and B...Beirut. He wanted to know if he'd ever mentioned G...Gary Wilcox. I knew this man was Wilcox and I got him to admit it. He was so angry at Vin and I tried to tell him that what happened to him wasn't Vin's fault but h...he kept saying Vin broke his promise,"

Chris let his head drop back on the pillows and closed his eyes tightly, envisioning the warehouse and the things that were done to him there.

"What happened next, Chris?" Miller asked.

"Wilcox moved away and Whelan came back. I was so tired I just wanted to sleep. He put something in front of my nose and I woke up. He told m...me I wouldn't be getting anymore sleep and asked me if I'd take a pill. I...I told him t...to go to h...hell," Larabee swallowed more water and continued with his statement. "That's when he put an IV in my arm and put some kind of drug in it. Said it was something special he made. It made the pain much worse a...and I couldn't breath and I felt like my body didn't b...belong t...to me. It h...hurt and I knew i...it wasn't going to be over a...and that he was going to do other things. Then he started telling me I killed Sarah and Adam and that Vin w...was the cause of everything he was doing to me. I...I didn't want to believe him but the drugs he used and the pain and I b...betrayed our f...friendship, V...Vin. I let him take you from me," his body tensed and he felt the trembling begin in his legs. "No, Goddamit, not now," he cried as the trembling grew to encompass his lower body.

"Doc?"

"That's enough, Captain. Chris, look at me. I want you to concentrate on my voice. Come on take a deep breath."

"T...trying... can't m...make it s...stop," Larabee gasped as his body arched up on the bed.

"Come on, Cowboy, it's over. You're safe."

Larabee latched onto the lifeline but couldn't stop the trembling as his body continued to convulse. "H...help me, V...Vin. Make it stop," he cried as he struggled for control.

Tanner watched as a nurse hurried into the room at James's call and slipped a syringe into Larabee's IV. It didn't take long for the sedative to take effect and the convulsions ceased.

Larabee felt the trembling slow and then stop and he breathed deeply. "T...thanks, Doc," he said as he closed his eyes.

"You're welcome, Chris, I think it's time for you to get some rest."

"No, not yet I have to finish it or I'll never be free," he pleaded.

"Not after what just happened, Cowboy."

"Vin, I have to. Please, Doc, let me finish this now."

"Are you sure you can handle it."

"I have to. For my own sanity. If I don't face it now I may never be able too."

"Alright, but remember you're not at the warehouse anymore and you're safe."

Miller and Sylvie took their seats once more and waited for the pale blond to continue. "Now that you've placed Wilcox in the warehouse I'll have a warrant issued for his arrest."

"Thanks, Bob," Larabee smiled weakly. "Whelan's dead but now I need to tell you about Tony Sharpe. H...he's been playing recording s with Wilcox's messages on it. They keep telling me what they're going to do to me. Calling me a Pathetic bastard. Sharpe was here the other night. He used a fuckin' cattle prod on me again and told me not to tell anyone or he'd k...kill Vin first. I...I can't let him do that," he yawned as he felt the pull of sleep once more. "That son of a bitch is going to pay," he snarled as he drank the last of the water.

"I think that's it for today, Captain Miller. It's time for my patient to get some well earned sleep."

"Chris, if you remember anything else just let me know. We'll pick up Sharpe as well."

"I will, Bob, thank you," Larabee assured him.

"That sedative will make you drowsy so don't fight it," James told him.

"I won't," Larabee told her, smiling as she left the room.

"How'd it go?" Wilmington asked as he entered the room. JD and Jackson in tow.

"I made it, Buck. Had some rough spots but I made it," Larabee's sleepy voice rasped.

"That you did, Cowboy," Tanner told his friend. "Now go to sleep."

"You too," Larabee smiled as if the weight of the world was finally off his shoulders. He sighed as the sedative took effect and he slipped into a deep sleep.

"Is he alright, Vin?"

"He had a convulsion towards the end but Dr. James gave him something and he got through it. I wanted him to stop but he said he needed to finish it."

"Stubborn cuss, isn't he," Wilmington laughed.

"It's a damn good thing he is," Dunne said

"JD?"

"What, Buck?"

"I never expected you to say something like that."

"I...I just, I mean he needs to be stubborn after what they did to him. Buck, I...I don't understand how someone could do this to another human being."

"Some people are twisted, JD. They get their kicks out of hurting people who can't do anything to stop them," Tanner explained to the younger man.

"How could they do that to him?"

"They don't need a real reason, JD. With Whelan it was money. With Wilcox it was a sick form of revenge. I just wish the Son of a bitch would've come after me instead of Chris."

"Vin, there's no sense second guessing this. Whelan is dead but Wilcox and Sharpe are still out there. We have to make sure neither one of them gets to you or

Chris."

"They won't get anywhere near him. Bob is putting out an APB on Wilcox. He should be locked up before the day is over."

"What about Sharpe?" Jackson asked.

"Hopefully he'll be arrested sometime today as well."

"Its about time. Maybe with those two in jail you and Chris can both heal," Wilmington's voice was full anger.

"I won't relax till Wilcox and Sharpe are behind bars for the rest of their lives," Tanner hissed.

"Vin, you need to rest. Why don't you and Buck head for home."

"I'm ok, Nathan, I'll just stay a little longer."

"Alright, Vin," Jackson shook his head, knowing by the younger man's tone he wouldn't leave. The three friends took up seats around the room, their eyes never straying from the sleeping form on the bed.

Chapter 83

Gary Wilcox knew the police were after him. The police cars parked next to his home was a dead giveaway. He called Sharpe and told him they needed a place to hole up until it was time to make their move. Sharpe told him he'd meet him at the hospital and get him up on the roof where he could hide until the time was right. He ordered his driver to take him to Saint Vincents and to pick him up after midnight.

Sharpe watched the young woman delivering the snacks for the people on the third floor. He waited for her to go into a room and made sure there was no one around to watch him. He'd dyed his hair and cropped it short, he also wore a thin moustache as part of the disguise. He hurried to the tray and found the one labelled

Larabee-three-sixteen. He slipped the Lorazepam into the juice and hurried away. ‘Soon, Larabee very soon,' he thought as he watched the cart from a utility closet.

Larabee slept through dinner and didn't open his eyes until he heard something placed in front of him. He yawned and pressed the button on the side of his bed.

"Thanks," he told the young girl as she hurried towards the door.

"You're welcome," her perky voice floated back to him.

"Oh the energy of youth."

"Are you feeling old, Ez?" Larabee grinned at the other man.

"Only when I see something like that, Mr. Larabee," was Standish's serious reply.

"Don't let them get to you, Ez," Chris told him as his stomach growled.

"I think you'd better eat that repast. You did sleep through dinner."

"Must've been the sedative. Haven't slept like that in a long time," the blond said as he ate the turkey sandwich. He reached for the glass of juice, scrambling as it tipped, "Ah, hell," he said as a small amount spilled on his bandaged left hand.

"Nice save, Mr. Larabee," Standish laughed as he watched the blond pick up a napkin and clean his fingers.

"Thanks," Larabee grinned as he swallowed the remainder of the juice.

"Would you like to watch some TV, Mr. Larabee?"

"What time is it?"

"Eight fifteen."

"I'm in the mood to listen to that woman and her snide comments."

"The one from the Weakest Link?"

"That's the one," Larabee answered and settled in to watch the sarcastic woman. Laughing as one of the men finally made her break down and smile. The show ended and he yawned sharply. "Damn, I thought I had enough sleep for one day."

"After everything you've been subjected to, Mr. Larabee, you're allowed to be tired. Why don't you go back to sleep?"

"I think I will, Ez. Shit," he complained around another yawn.

"Goodnight," Standish whispered as he lowered the bed.

Chapter 84

"I'll get Tanner here. You just make damn sure you get Larabee up here," Wilcox ordered.

"Carter will create the diversion in twenty minutes. Once the cop leaves the door I'll take care of Standish and bring Larabee up here."

"Just make sure nothing goes wrong."

"Nothing's going to ruin this plan," Wilcox beamed as he walked back to the door. "See you in an hour."

Rex Carter waited in the utility closet down the hall from room three-sixteen. ‘This is going to be the easiest thousand I ever made,' he thought as a young nurse walked towards him.

Standish watched the sleeping man and wondered when he'd be able to go back to his ranch. ‘You're a strong man, Mr. Larabee,' he thought as he watched the new Star Trek series.

Callie Willis continued her rounds, giving her patients their meds and changing IVs.

Wilcox dialed the number on his cell phone.

Tanner flipped his phone open and came fully awake as he heard the voice on the other end.

"If you want to see him alive you'd better come to the rooftop of Saint Vincents. You have one hour or he's dead," the line went dead and Tanner hurried towards the door. He knew he should wake JD or Nathan and tell them where he was going but there was no time.

In the car he pulled out the cell phone and dialed Nathan's house. Before Jackson could speak he told him what was happening and where he was headed. It would take him ten minutes to get to the hospital and by then Jackson and the others would be on their way. ‘Dammit, Cowboy, just hang on,' he thought as the bright streetlights flashed by. He sped through a yellow light without slowing down.

Sharpe watched from the staircase opposite the one Carter would use. He grinned as he watched a young dark haired nurse pass the utility closet.

Carter stepped out of the closet and grabbed the young nurse, wrapped his arms around her throat and pulled her towards the staircase as a scream erupted from her throat.

The young cop in front of three-sixteen pulled his gun and pointed it in the direction of the scream.

The nurse at the desk slid from her chair and hid under the desk.

Standish heard the scream and opened the door to see the cop with his gun drawn.

"Let her go," the officer called sharply.

"Not likely," Carter shouted as he backed up towards the stairwell.

The officer looked from Standish to the two people at the end of the hall.

"Go! Help her. I'm here with Mr. Larabee."

The officer looked unsure but another cry from the nurse decided him and he ran towards the figure as they disappeared through the stairwell door.

Callie Willis stood inside room three twenty, waiting for the excitement to die down.

Standish stood in the door watching the police officer chase the two fleeing figures, his back turned to the oncoming danger.

Sharpe pushed the well dressed man into the room with enough force that he lost his balance and his head struck the edge of the bed.

Standish tried to shake off the dizziness as blood streamed from a tiny gash on his forehead. He tried to stand up but anther blow sent him sprawling to the floor where a veil of darkness fell over him.

Chris stirred and tried to open his eyes. He felt as if he were sinking into a well of quicksand. "Ezra," he called.

"No, Larabee, it's me."

"W...who are y...you?" the blond asked, unable to make his mind work properly.

"I'm your best friend. The man who's going to help you do what you've been wanting to do," Sharpe told him as he pulled out the IV.

~~~~~~~~~

Callie looked out into the hall just in time to see someone disappear into three-sixteen. She hurried towards the room, worried about the patient inside. She pushed the door open just as a dark figure helped Larabee stand up. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she gasped as she let the door slip closed behind her.

Sharpe released his victim and let him fall to the floor. "I'm giving him what he wants, Callie," he smiled as he sent his fist into her face knocking her unconscious. He picked her up and placed her on the bed, covering her body with the blankets. He looked at the man seated in the chair. ‘Might give me a little extra time,' he thought as he switched out the lights and pulled Larabee back to his feet.

Sharpe leaned the semi-conscious man against the wall and glanced into the empty hall. "Come on, Larabee, lets get this over with," he half carried the injured man to the stairwell, holding his breath until the door closed behind him.

The nurse at the desk slid out from underneath it and looked around. The quiet of the night was interrupted only by patients opening doors and looking out. She picked up the phone and dialed the number for security.

Sharpe pushed open the door and led Larabee's un-protesting form out onto the windy surface. "Come on, Larabee, it's time to take a high dive," he laughed. The lights from the surrounding buildings cast an eerie glow on the surface, reflecting off the glass skylight as they passed.

"Don't want to," Chris told him, trying to focus his thoughts on what was happening around him.

"Sure you do. Don't you remember? You have to jump. You killed Sarah and Adam."

"Didn't k...kill anyone."

"Sure you did. You started the fire so they'd both die. Think about it. Can you see them in the middle of the flames. They're crying out to you. Look at Adam, the poor kid is terrified."

"A...Adam."

"That's right. You can still save him if you really want to."

"H...how," Larabee asked, his eyes searching the area.

"By jumping. He's down there and if you jump you can still save him."

Tanner found the door leading to the rooftop open and hurried towards it. He climbed the stairs as fast as he could, his breath catching in his throat as the healing wounds on his body were stretched to the limits. He reached the top floor, pushed the door open and looked out over the roof. The scene before him was something out of his worst nightmare. Two forms stood near the edge. He recognized the teetering form and moved towards him just as the second form moved into the dull light. "Don't you fuckin' touch him," the sharpshooter gasped as he hurried towards the two figures.

‘Vin,' the blond thought.

"Jump, Chris, it's the only way to save them," Sharpe laughed.

"No, Chris," Tanner shouted above the wind.

Sharpe watched the wavering figure and moved to push him.

Tanner reacted instinctively and launched himself at Sharpe. Sharpe lost his balance, tripping over the edge, arms flailing as he started the fall that would end his life.

His scream was cut short as he landed on the roof of a car.

Four men hurried into the hospital and ran towards the staircase, only to be brought up short by an armed police officer. "What's going on?" Wilmington asked.

"Some kind of hostage situation. You have to stay here."

"What floor," Sanchez asked, dreading the answer.

"Third floor, but they moved into the stairwell. Stan is trying to talk the guy down."

"Who's the hostage?" Jackson asked.

"One of the nurses."

"We have to get up there."

"I can't let you in there right now."

"Look, call Captain Miller and he'll clear us," Dunne told him.

"Captain Miller is on the third floor."

"Call him!" Wilmington ordered sharper than he meant to as his patience went from slim to none. He watched as the officer pulled out his radio and contacted Robert

Miller.

"Chris."

"I have to save them, Vin."

"Sarah and Adam are not there, Cowboy."

"Not there because I killed them."

"We already talked about this, you didn't kill them."

"So much pain, Vin. I miss them so much."

"I know you do, Pard, but this won't help."

"Yes it will, Vin. I'll be with them."

"You promised to watch my back, Chris. Are you going back on that now. You're my best friend and if you're set on doing this then we go together."

"You'd go with me?" Larabee's dull green eyes were moist with tears as he turned and met the younger man's eyes.

"I'd go anywhere and do anything for you, Chris. That's what friends are for."

Larabee swallowed and reached out a trembling hand. He shivered as the cold tendrils of the wind whipped around his bare legs. "I'm sorry, Vin."

"It's ok, Cowboy, let's get back inside where it's warm."

"I want to go home, Vin."

"You will, Chris, I promise."

"Don't listen to him, Larabee! He never keeps his promise!"

"Get out of the way, Gary!" Tanner snapped, supporting the dazed man next to him.

"Vin's always keeps his promise," Larabee informed the man seated before them.

"He's got you fooled. Can't you see that? He makes promises and then reneges on them."

"No he doesn't. I'm proud to call him my friend," Larabee gasped as he realized truer words had never been spoken. "Thanks, Vin, for keeping your promise to me."

"Get out of the way, Wilcox," Tanner snarled.

"I don't think so, Vin," Wilcox hissed. "I'm going to finish what I started and then I'm going to kill you."

Tanner watched the gun appear in the other man's hand. "No!" he shouted as the weapon swung towards Larabee.

"You killed him, Vin," Wilcox laughed as he depressed the trigger on the gun in his hand.

Tanner turned, placing his body between the blond and Wilcox.. He gasped as he felt the bullet enter his lower back. His eyes opened wide with fear as he saw the panic on Larabee's face. "C...Chris," he gasped as he slid to the floor.

"No! Vin, you promised to watch my back," Larabee cried as the blue eyes slid shut. "I'll kill you, you son of a bitch," he swore as he lunged at the man in the wheelchair.

"Stay back, Larabee," Wilcox cried as the blond ploughed into him, knocking the chair backwards. The sound of breaking glass echoed in the night, as twin screams ripped from the two men falling through it. The wind made an ominous cracking sound as the wheel on the fallen chair spun wildly.

Vin didn't know how long he'd been unconscious. His back burned as he lifted his head and crawled towards the skylight, "Chris," he gasped as he made it the last few feet. He lifted leaden arms and pulled himself up to the edge. "Oh, God, no!" he cried as the emergency lighting in the spacious room illuminated the two blood covered, unmoving figures below him. His head fell forward on his arms and he felt the tears fall freely. "I'm so sorry, Chris," he gasped as consciousness left him once more.

Chapter 85

Wilmington, Dunne, Jackson, and Sanchez flew through the open door of the roof. The sight that met their eyes made their blood run cold. Vin Tanner lay sprawled next to an overturned wheelchair, the upper wheel still spinning in the gusting breeze. Sanchez and Jackson hurried to the prone man.

Jackson's voice screamed over the wind. "JD, get some help up here now!"

"S...sure, Nathan," Dunne called tearing his eyes from the lone figure.

"Nathan, Josiah, where's Chris?" Buck asked just as Miller, and two other officers came through the open door.

"We got a body on the roof of a car down below," Miller shouted at them.

"Chris?"

"We're not sure, Buck, He's pretty messed up. Two officers have just gone to check it out."

"Fuck!" Wilmington swore as he hurried to the edge of the roof. "Is he alive, Nate?"

"Barely, Where the hell is JD?"

"Easy, brother, it's only been a couple of minutes," Sanchez reminded the medic.

Miller and Wilmington stared down over the roof, Buck's shoulders drooped as he spotted the activity around the white car. Bright lights shone on the roof revealing a man lying in a pool of what could only be blood.

Sanchez heard activity in the room below and tore his eyes from the injured sharpshooter. "Lord help us," he said as he jumped to his feet and ran for the door.

"Josiah, what's wrong?"

"Chris is in the room below."

"What?" Wilmington gasped.

"Buck, go with him. Bob, call in a code blue to the conference room now," Jackson ordered as a doctor, nurse and two orderlies rushed through the door, a stretcher in tow. He listened as the Captain called in the code Blue.

Miller finished calling the code and contacted the security room. "Rafferty, Just get someone up to the room and open the Godammed door," the policeman ordered as he looked into the room below. "Oh, fuck,' he swore as he saw the blood on the two men below.

"Can you tell if he's alive?"

"I don't know, Nathan," Miller told him as Jackson moved out of the way and let the medical professionals go to work.

The medic sighed as they wrapped a cervical collar around Tanner's neck and hurriedly log rolled him onto a backboard. He turned his attention to the scene below, shaking his head at the amount of blood spilling onto the table.

Wilmington and Sanchez raced through the corridor, reaching the locked doors at the same time as a security guard and two armed police officers. The security guard opened the door and switched on the main lights of the room.

"Oh, shit," the guard mumbled as his eyes fell on the shiny, Mahogany conference table and the two bodies sprawled on top of it.

"Out of the way!" the male voice came from behind the men and Buck hurried to hold the second door. Four doctors and two nurses entered the room, a crash cart being pushed in with them. Two male orderlies hurried in with a gurney each and stood back as the code team went to work. Two doctors went into action immediately on each of the men.

"We need to get this one off," a grey haired doctor ordered. "The one on the bottom has no pulse.! We need to start CPR!"

"Let the son of a bitch die!" Wilmington snarled as more people stepped into the room.

"As much as we'd like them too, they can't do that, Brother," Sanchez told him.

"Looks like we've got a bleeder here! Get him on the stretcher!" Dr. Joe Sterling shouted as they scrambled to quickly, but carefully place Larabee on the stretcher.

Dr. Mike Turner immediately inserted an IV into Larabee's neck, as a nurse placed a gauze pad over a two inch laceration over the injured man's left eye.

"Jesus, there's a piece of glass stuck in his leg," Joe scrambled to place his hand into the wound grasping the punctured artery in an effort to stop the pulsing bright red fluid. He jumped up on the gurney without releasing the hold he had on the still seeping artery in the upper right thigh. "He's losing too much blood! I can't get it to stop! Let the fluids run wide open.! Carrie, find out who the vascular surgeon on call is and get him to meet us in the OR! Tell them we have a punctured femoral artery! Make sure the blood bank is notified. Have them send up O negative for now until they have his type ready. ," he shouted as Turner finished inserting the IV and placed an IV bag on either side of Larabee's head.

"Let's go!" Turner shouted as the nurse hurried to the wall phone and put in a call to the OR.

Wilmington and Sanchez jumped out of the way as the stretcher carrying a very pale, blood covered Chris Larabee and the young doctor trying to save his life was pushed past him.

Hypnotized by the ongoing fight to save the second man Buck Wilmington and Josiah Sanchez didn't move.

"Still no pulse!" Wilmington heard one of the doctors working on Wilcox shout. He looked up and saw the tube already inserted into the throat and a second man doing chest compressions. They'd hooked him up to a cardiac monitor and Buck watched the flat line with mixed feelings. He wanted Wilcox dead but he also wanted justice for Chris and Vin and to him Wilcox had not suffered nearly enough. He watched as the first doctor inserted a syringe into the man's chest and a nurse tried to start an IV.

The seriousness of Larabee's situation didn't stop both his friends from seeing what was being done to the man who'd caused such devastation. Paddles were applied to the man's chest and Buck held his breath as a small beep sounded from the monitor. "No!" he gasped, slamming his fist into the wall.

"Come on, Brother, let's check on the others," Sanchez knew how hard it was for Wilmington to watch the doctor's save the other man's life.

"We've got him back. Let's get him down to Emerg!"

Wilmington turned away from the second team and hurried out the door. He knew where Chris was being taken and also knew they couldn't follow him there. The two men headed for emerg as the sound of the heart monitor faded into the background.

"Jesus, Josiah, with everything going on I forgot all about Ezra. Where do you think he is?" Wilmington asked as he waited for the elevator doors to open.

"I don't know, Brother. I just hope nothing's happened to him," Sanchez answered, as the doors slid open.

"Hold those doors!"

Sanchez and Wilmington held the doors as the stretcher carrying Gary Wilcox hurried towards them.

"Son of a bitch!" Wilmington snapped as the doors slid shut behind the code team. His fist slamming into the button.

"Easy, Brother, that's not gonna do Chris or Vin any good."

Jackson and Dunne watched the two men hurrying towards them. "How's Chris?" they asked in unison as "How's Vin?" slipped from the other two men.

"Vin's in trauma one. They're getting him ready for surgery."

"Where's Ez?" Wilmington asked.

"He's having a CT scan done. They found him and Callie Willis unconscious in Chris's room. What about Chris?" Jackson asked.

"They just took him to surgery, Brother. It doesn't look good."

"What do you mean, Josiah?" Dunne asked.

"Josiah?" the medic took in the serious faces on the two men and knew something was very wrong. "Buck?"

"The doctor had his hand in Chris' leg, Nathan, they were moving so fast and there was so much blood."

"Why would he have his hand in Chris's leg?" Dunne's worried voice asked.

"The doctor was saying something about a punctured..."

"Femoral artery," Jackson finished for the ladies man.

"Yes," Sanchez told him.

"How bad is that, Nate?"

"Buck, if we were anywhere but in a hospital I'd say Chris had little or no chance."

"But we are in a hospital," Dunne observed.

"Yes, JD, we are. That improves his chances but not by a lot."

"There's Vin," Dunne exclaimed as a stretcher surrounded by doctors and nurses was taken from the trauma room.

"Doc?"

"We're taking him to surgery. I'll let you know as soon as we know anything else," the doctor called as the team hurried away.

Buck looked at his watch and realized only forty minutes had passed since they'd discovered Vin Tanner on the roof.

"I'm going to call Orrin," Sanchez told them.

"He's gonna be pissed," Wilmington observed.

"Probably, but I'd rather he hear it from us."

"We'll be here when you're done. They should be bringing Ezra back from CT anytime."

"OK, Nathan," the ex-preacher called as he hurried towards the waiting room.

"Wilcox is still alive," Wilmington muttered.

"We know. They took him into trauma two," Jackson told him.

"They should've let the bastard die."

"JD!" Wilmington exclaimed sharply, shaking his head as he realized JD's feelings mirrored his own.

"Look what he's done to Vin and Chris. Jesus, Buck, he nearly killed them. They still might die and there's not a damned thing we can do about it," Dunne snapped.

"Easy, JD, I know how you feel but we've got to think positive," Jackson told the younger man. Three sets of eyes turned to trauma two as the door opened.

"Make sure you note I called it at two fifteen am."

"Doc?" Jackson asked.

"I'm sorry. We did all we could."

"He's dead?" Wilmington asked.

"We brought him back twice but there was just too much damage."

"I can't say that I'm sorry he's dead," the moustached man told them as the doctor hurried away.

"Me either," Dunne agreed.

They walked towards the waiting room to see what Orrin Travis had to say. Sanchez hung up the phone as they entered. "He's on his way," he told them.

"Wilcox is dead," Wilmington told the ex-preacher.

"God have mercy on his miserable excuse for a soul," Sanchez muttered.

Chapter 86

The OR was a hubbub of activity as doctors and nurses scrambled to save Chris Larabee's life.

The anesthetist finished intubating the injured man as a second IV line was inserted in Larabee's arm. Two units of blood joined the bags of fluids and it was quickly flowing into Larabee along with the IV Solution. A nurse attached monitoring equipment to his chest and finger as the vascular surgeon moved in.

Brandon Silverman knew he had to work fast. The IVs were running wide open and the patient had already received two units of blood. He knew Larabee needed more as the blood loss reached critical levels. The shard of glass had been removed and he was working on closing the puncture. "I need suction, Now!" he ordered, his soft tone belying the pressure he was under. This was why he'd become a vascular surgeon in the first place. The thought of saving a life when the chips were down was something of an adrenalin rush and he excelled when things became critical. "How're we doing? How's the blood pressure?"

"Blood pressure is still low, Dr. Silverman," a nurse called as a second one replaced the third unit of blood and switched the empty IV bag.

"Come on, Larabee, we're almost there."

"His blood pressure's dropping, Doctor."

"Get another IV into, him. Come on, Chris don't give up on me now. Suction!" he hissed and smiled as the nurse was already doing it before the words were issued from his mouth. ‘Pull him through, Brandon,' he thought to himself as adrenalin flowed through his veins. "Come on, just a little longer," he gasped slipping the small graft over the edges of the artery and stitching it together. Got it," he said as he released the clamps from both sides of the artery. His expert eyes searched the repaired section, watching, waiting until he was one hundred percent certain there were no leaks. Finally satisfied with his handiwork he thoroughly checked the surrounding tissue for any tiny glass shards or splinters that might be present. "Vitals?"

"Blood Pressure still low..."

Silverman heard the words and kept up the fast pace as the nurse continued to read off the vital signs. Once he was sure he'd cleaned the wound and there was nothing left inside he began closing it up. He moved back from the table as he finished and allowed the second doctor, Mitch Dalton to take up where he'd left off.

Dalton was a renowned plastic surgeon and he knew what he'd need to do in this situation. Numerous cuts covered the patient's chest, arms and legs, as well as a two inch laceration above the left eye that would require sutures.

Silverman watched as his friend and colleague worked on the pale figure. Dalton was as meticulous as he was and he irrigated each wound no matter how big or small. The unit of blood was once more replaced and Silverman realized they'd already put a total of six units into the injured man and would probably need another two before Dalton was finished.

David Marshall, the same doctor who'd performed surgery on Vin Tanner when he was last admitted, was ready to remove the bullet from the sharpshooter's back.

The final touches were performed and the anaesthetist signaled they could begin. The fluids overhead were being run wide open and a unit of blood was being transfused into his arm.

Marshall carefully proceeded with the removal of the bullet low in Tanner's back. He watched the monitor as he grasped the bullet and pulled it from the injured man.

"Looks like it's nicked the left kidney! We've got a bleeder! Suction it!" he exclaimed as he repaired the damage wrought by the bullet.

"Blood pressure's dropping!"

A nurse changed the empty unit of blood and quickly replaced it with a second one. Another nurse replaced the rapidly depleting bag of IV solution.

"Get more fluids into him. I've got to get the bleeding stopped! Don't you go giving up on me, Tanner!" he snapped as he finished repairing the damage to the kidney.

"How's he doing?" he asked worriedly.

"Blood pressure's still a little low, but it's picking back up."

"Ok, people, let's close him up. Keep the fluids going," Marshall ordered. He breathed a sigh of relief as the final staple was placed and the wound covered in saline soaked gauze. "Jesus this guy's beginning to look like a human pincushion," he commented softly, no humor in his voice.

"Dr. Marshall, how's Vin?" Jackson asked as five men stood up in the tiny waiting room.

"Mr. Tanner is being moved to ICU right now. We removed the bullet from his back but there was some damage to the left kidney."

"What kind of damage?" Jackson asked, knowing the others were leaving him to question the doctor.

"The bullet nicked the kidney and he lost some blood. We've given him a transfusion and we'll be watching his renal function."

"Can we see him?" Travis asked.

"Not yet. As I said we're taking him to ICU and he'll probably sleep most of the day. His aversion to anaesthetic is going to be watched closely as well. You'll have to wait until this afternoon to see him. I have to get back to my patient but please let the nurses get him settled and let him rest before you descend on the ICU."

"Thanks, Doc," Wilmington said as the doctor left the room. "Nathan, do you think Ezra's awake yet?"

"I don't know, Buck, but I was thinking someone should be there with him."

"I'll go, Nathan," Dunne volunteered.

"Thanks, JD."

"You'll come tell us as soon as you know anything about Chris?"

"We will, Kid," Wilmington assured him as Dunne hurried out the door.

Chapter 87

Ezra Standish was a man carrying a load of guilt and when JD Dunne walked into the room the guilt was evident on his pale face. He'd been told that Chris Larabee and Vin Tanner were both being taken to surgery but nothing else as he'd slid into the welcome world of sleep before he could ask any questions.

"Hey, Ez, how're you feeling?"

"I have an appalling headache, Mr. Dunne, but I deserve much worse."

"What do you mean you deserve worse?" Dunne asked as he slid into a chair beside Standish's bed.

"Have you had any news on Mr. Larabee and Mr. Tanner?"

"Vin's being taken to ICU. Dr. Marshall removed the bullet from his back."

"Will he be alright?"

"The bullet hit his kidney but the doc thinks he'll be fine."

"And Mr. Larabee?"

JD shook his head at the other man. "No word about his condition yet. Buck said they'd come let us know as soon as they heard anything."

Standish rubbed his head, carefully avoiding the bandage above his right eye. "I made an intolerable mistake that may cause Mr. Larabee and Mr. Tanner their lives."

"It wasn't your fault Ez."

"It certainly was. I was in charge of protecting Mr. Larabee and because of my negligence that miserable lowlife was able to get to him."

"Ezra, I felt the same way the other night when Sharpe drugged me. If it wasn't for me Chris wouldn't have been subjected to that cattle prod again..."

"That's completely..."

"Don't you dare tell me it was different, Ezra, because that's bull. I was supposed to be watching Chris and he still got to him. There's no difference between what happened to you and what happened to me."

"There is..."

"No there's not! Look from what we've pieced together with the police and Callie Willis's statement Sharpe had a man waiting to grab one of the nurses in order to pull the policemen away from Chris's door."

"He didn't want to pursue the miscreant but I told him I could watch Chris."

"If he hadn't gone this guy would've killed the nurse. He's got priors and a couple of convictions. He says he was supposed to be paid a thousand dollars to do the job," Dunne explained.

"How're Callie and the other nurse?"

"They're both fine and were sent home. Ez, don't blame yourself. I know that's hard but there was nothing you could've done differently last night just like there was nothing I could've done the other night."

"Mr. Dunne, I shall make no promises. I will however refrain from feeling guilty until we know whether or not I am responsible for Mr. Larabee or Mr. Tanner losing their lives."

"Go to sleep, Ez, I'll call you as soon as Buck gets here."

"Thank you, Mr. Dunne, I believe that would be a very wise idea right now," Standish said as he closed his eyes. Sleep was far from his thoughts as he once more saw Tony Sharpe appear before his eyes. ‘I'm sorry, Chris, Vin, I should've been able to stop that son of a bitch,' he thought.

"Why's it taking so long?" Wilmington asked as he stood up and went to the door for the fifth time in less than ten minutes.

"Buck, the doctor has to make sure he's repaired the damage to the artery and who knows what other damage they found."

"What do you mean, Nathan?"

"Just what I said, Buck. Chris fell through the skylight. He's probably re-broken his ribs. Maybe even damaged his hands again. The nearly healed wounds from his encounter with Whelan may have re-opened. There's just so much a body can take..."

"I was told I could find you guys here," Stacey Midland stepped into the room and gazed at the somber faces of the four men waiting there.

"Doc, is there any word on Chris?" Sanchez asked.

"Dr. Silverman will be here shortly."

"Dr. Silverman?" Travis asked.

"He's a Vascular Surgeon. He'll be able to tell you more than I can. I can tell you that he's out of surgery and being taken to ICU."

"Can we see him?" Wilmington asked.

"Not at the moment, Buck. You guys will have to wait until this afternoon."

"What about, Ezra?" Jackson asked.

"Ezra has a concussion and a laceration above his eye. He'll be released tomorrow as long as there are no complications. Look, I have to finish my rounds. Once I'm finished I'll meet you all in Ezra's room. I should be able to update you on both Chris and Vin by then."

"Alright, Doc, we'll see you there."

Buck resumed pacing the room as soon as the door closed behind Midland. He looked at his watch every few minutes as time seemed to slow to a crawl.

"You might as well sit down, Brother, pacing is only going to wear a hole in the floor."

"I can't, Josiah, I keep seeing that doctor put his hand in Chris's leg."

The door opened and four pairs of eyes turned to look at the newcomer.

"Gentlemen, I'm Brandon Silverman."

"Doc, how's Chris?" Wilmington asked.

"He's listed as critical at the moment," Silverman told them as he sat in one of the chairs. Whereas the rush in the operating room always gave him an adrenalin rush this part always depressed him. Talking to the friends and family of a patient was always hard for him. He hated seeing the despair on their faces as he told them how things were.

"What's wrong with him?" Travis asked.

"Well, on top of the old injuries a fair sized shard of glass punctured his femoral artery. If it wasn't for the quick reaction of the code team he wouldn't have made it.

One of the doctors used his bare hand to slow the bleeding. It was enough until they got him to the OR. His blood pressure dropped to dangerous levels but we pumped IV fluids into him He also received eight units of blood during surgery. I repaired the damage to the artery and made sure there were no other glass particles in the wound. I don't know if any of you know Dr. Dalton..."

"Plastic surgeon," Jackson said.

"That's correct. Once the artery was repaired he took over and irrigated the smaller wounds, and there were a lot of them the worst one being above his left eye."

"What about his hands?" Sanchez asked.

"The puncture wounds between thumb and finger bled a little but the damage was minor. Dr. Dalton and myself cleaned the wounds and re-bandaged the damaged area."

"What about his ribs and his wrist?"

"The wrist was probably saved by the cast. His ribs were broken in the fall."

"Jesus, is there any good news?"

"I'm sorry. I wish I had better news for you."

"Thanks, Dr. Silverman, we know you're doing all you can," Travis assured him.

"How long before we can see him?"

"A couple of hours at least. Look, if it's any consolation I think Mr. Larabee is a fighting man and I'm betting on him to pull through."

"I'll have to see what kind of odds Ezra is giving on him," Wilmington snapped.

"Buck!" Jackson exclaimed.

"Sorry, Nate, I know Ezra wouldn't take bets in this situation."

"If you gentlemen will excuse me I'm going to check on my patient."

"Thanks for taking the time to come see us, Doc," Jackson said.

"You're welcome, gentlemen, I just wish it was better news."

"So do I , Doc," Sanchez told him.

Chapter 88

Five men sat in the private room waiting for the sleeping man to wake up. They'd descended on the room as soon as the doctor left them and came to sit with JD and

Ezra while they waited for word that they could visit their injured friends in ICU. Standish was awake long enough to hear that Chris Larabee had made it through surgery but was listed in critical condition.

"I'm going for a walk," Wilmington said as he headed for the door.

"Wait up, brother, I'll go with you."

The two men exited the room and without a word headed for the bank of elevators across from the nursing station. Buck silently pushed the button and as the doors started to open the two men stepped inside. Josiah automatically pushed the fourth floor and the two men leaned heavily against the back wall as the doors closed and the elevator rose. Again no words were needed as the they walked onto the floor and headed for the ICU.

They stopped in front of the second glass enclosed room where a nurse was taking vitals on Vin Tanner. The young man didn't move as the nurse flicked a stray lock of hair out of his face. Two IVs ran into his arm and an NG tube ran down through his left nostril. Nasal canulas were present as was the foley catheter. The overhead monitors assured the two men that their friend was alive.

Buck and Josiah looked at each other and without a word moved down the hallway and stopped in front of the next glass enclosed room. Chris was as still as the man in the adjoining room. He also had the NG tube in his left nostril, the nasal canulas, and the foley catheter. In Chris's case an IV ran into his arm and another into the jugular vein in his neck. A pad covered his left eye and a gauze pad covered part of his left forehead. A nurse was doing something with the injured man's foot and they watched as she pressed on the nail bed of his big toe.

Buck took a deep breath and leaned his head against the glass covered wall. "Jesus, Josiah, what a mess. Chris, Vin, and Ezra all in the hospital because of that bastard's need for revenge."

"I know, Buck. This is one of those time when I wish the punishment would fit the crime. Wilcox, Sharpe, and Whelan all died too easy. They should've been made to suffer before they died."

"Well at least they can't hurt either of them again. I wanted to stop the doctors from working on that son of a bitch upstairs."

"We both did, Brother, but a doctor is pledged to save lives even his," Sanchez said softly.

"Buck, Josiah, how did I know I'd find one or more of you up here? I'm pretty certain I asked you all to wait in Ezra's room," Midland smiled as she chastised the two men.

"Busted," Wilmington smiled at the doctor.

"Yes, you are."

"How are they doing doc?" Sanchez asked.

"Vin is showing signs of coming around. I was just on my way to get one of you to come up here. I see I won't have to do that. Why don't one of you sit with Vin and the other can sit with Chris. I'll go down and let the others know where you are."

"Thanks, Doc," the ladies man said, a chagrined look on his face as he moved towards Larabee's room and Sanchez moved towards Tanners'.

‘These guys are so easy to read,' Midland thought as she headed for the elevator.

"Well, Brother, if it's alright with you I'll go see about our sharpshooter friend," Sanchez said, wanting to give the ladies man the opportunity to sit with his oldest friend without having to choose between the two men.

"Thanks, Josiah," Wilmington smiled as he walked into the room that housed Chris Larabee. He stood on shaky legs as he watched the slight rise and fall of the heavily bruised chest. "Jesus, Chris, I told Josiah the son of a bitch...oh, sorry," he apologized as he remembered the nurse in the room.

"That's ok, Mr. Wilmington, believe me I've heard worse."

Buck recognized the nurse from Chris's first few days in ICU. "Thanks, Kristy, How's he doing?"

"I know you're tired of hearing us say he's holding his own but basically it's the truth."

Wilmington smiled at her and sat in the chair next to the bed.

Josiah watched the figure on the bed as the blue eyes slowly fought to open. He grinned as the nurse's quick reaction saved the bed from becoming a disaster as

Tanner's stomach emptied without warning and he groaned as he dropped back to the pillow. "Easy, Brother," the ex-preacher said as the sharpshooter's eyes finally opened and tried to focus on him.

"J...iah."

"That's right, Vin, how are you feeling?"

"T...thirsty."

The nurse heard him and fed him ice chips. She knew his stomach was bothering him from the anaesthetic and he was not to have anything else until the aversion was over. She swabbed his mouth and lips with the medicinal pink sponge and returned his weak smile.

"Thanks," he said gratefully.

"You're welcome. Don't try to move around to much for now. Just rest and talk with your friend if you feel up to it."

Tanner nodded slightly, he wasn't in any pain at the moment and knew it was because of the morphine infusion pump he was hooked up to. He knew there was something he needed to ask but his sluggish thoughts wouldn't clear and he struggled to remember what was so important that he needed answered. He lifted his left arm and rubbed at his throbbing head. He remembered very little of the night before but bits and pieces were coming back to him. Flashes of insight he was not sure he wanted as he kept his eyes closed and tried to grasp them anyway. The roof. Sharpe talking to someone at the edge of the roof. The dark figure in a hospital gown, the wind rustling the blond hair. Shoving Sharpe over the edge. Talking his friend away from the edge. Wilcox. A gunshot, burning fire in his lower back.

Crawling to the edge of the broken skylight. The unmoving bodies below. His eyes shot open and he tried to come off the bed only to be gently pushed back as he cried out. "Chris! Oh, Jesus, Chris!" He gasped as pain flared in his back and he lost consciousness.

The nurse looked at the monitor and was glad to see that things were within normal parameters. She checked the tubes and IVs to make sure nothing was dislodged and looked at the other man in the room, a silent exchange that did little to relieve the older man. ‘Damn you Wilcox,' he thought angrily.

Orrin Travis had joined the men just after Chris and Vin returned to the ICU. These men were not just employees they were people he respected and quickly became friends.

Ezra's room was quiet once Midland left. She'd explained to the men about Chris and Vin's condition and told them Josiah and Buck were up in ICU. Tiny smiles showed on worried faces as they each knew that was where the two men were headed when they left the room.

Ezra was finally sleeping and the men were quiet as they thought about the events of the last few weeks and the evil of one man's need for revenge. A low moan from the bed reminded them that not only were Chris and Vin hurt by Wilcox but Ezra and JD had also fallen victim to a lesser extent.

"I'm going upstairs," Jackson told the others as he hurried from the room.

Orrin Travis knew the deep friendship these men had. They'd grown closer than any seven men he'd ever had the pleasure to work with. They had such diverse backgrounds yet their friendship had stood through so many tests and come out unscathed. He could only hope that the past weeks did nothing to damage that friendship. The guilt alone for Vin Tanner had already taken it's toll. ‘Please, God, give them all the strength they need to get through this,' he thought.

Chapter 89

"Kristy, what's wrong," Wilmington asked as she frowned over the blood pressure reading.

The nurse looked at the ladies man knowing she couldn't hide anything from him. "His blood pressure's a little low," she informed him.

"What does that mean?" Buck asked worriedly.

"It could be anything, Buck," Kristy told him as she lifted the thin sheet exposing Larabee's legs. Her hand clutched his right foot and she immediately depressed the button for the desk. As soon as she heard the nurse's voice answer she told her to page Dr. Silverman to ICU. The clear voice immediately paged the doctor over the PA system.

"Kristy?"

"Mr. Wilmington, I don't know anything yet. We'll know more as soon as Dr Silverman arrives," she said as she continued examining the foot, checking the pulse before covering it again.

Nathan was standing outside Tanner's room when the call came over the PA for Dr. Silverman. His heart skipped a beat as he hurried to the next room.

Wilmington heard footsteps and turned to the door. His worried gaze told Jackson something was definitely wrong.

"Mr. Wilmington, would you please wait outside," Kristy told him.

"I...I..."

"Please, I'll let you know when you can come back in," she said as a second nurse entered the room.

Buck nodded and slowly left the room. He stood beside Jackson and waited for the doctor to arrive.

Sanchez poked his head around the corner and saw the two worried men. He looked back at the pale form on the bed and wondered if this ordeal would ever be over for the two men. Nathan nodded to him and Sanchez went back inside to wait for the younger man to wake up.

Silverman hurried towards the room and nodded briefly to the two men standing on either side of the door. "What's wrong, Kristy?"

"His blood pressure is low, ninety five over fifty and his foot is cool," she told him and the doctor immediately checked the foot while she lifted the sheet and checked the wound in his thigh. "There doesn't appear to be any new bleeding," she told him.

"Well at least that's some good news. I want to get him started on Dopamine, five mcg and titrate. We need to get the mean arterial blood pressure above sixty-five.

Kristy I want you to perform a Hemocue immediately."

Kristy took the tiny machine and performed the required test. "Hemoglobin is eight point five."

Silverman let out a deep breath as he looked at the second nurse. "Sue, I want two more units of blood and a bolus of five hundred ml Hespan," he said as the nurse hurried to complete his orders. It wasn't long before each of the doctor's orders were completed and the new medication entered the pale form on the bed.

Buck was once more seated beside the bed watching as Kristy continued to monitor his friend. The nurse informed him that he could come back in soon after the doctor left. Jackson entered at the same time and listened as the nurse told them the medication was helping and that the blond's blood pressure was rising and that his foot was no longer cool. Jackson patted Wilmington's shoulder before leaving to tell the others what was happening.

"Chris, I gotta tell ya I can't handle much more of these scares of yours. I've told you often enough that I can't afford any extra years but you haven't been listening.

If this keeps up I'm gonna be a decrepit old man before I'm past being a middle aged ladies man. What I'm saying, Pard is enough is enough. Now's the time to let yourself get better and come back to us. Vin is gonna need you if he's ever going to get past all of this. Hell, I don't think any of us will get past this if anything happens to either of you. So what do ya say, Pard, you gonna fight this thing so we can all get back to kicking some bad guy's ass. I told ya before there's no one that kicks ass like you and Vin when you're together," Wilmington lapsed into silence as the nurse watched him carefully, her eyes filled with admiration at the friendship conveyed by the man's words.

"Vin?"

Sanchez's soothing voice penetrated the light sleep the sharpshooter was languishing in. He knew to open his eyes would bring real life crashing back and he wasn't sure if he could face that yet.

"Come on, Vin, you've been sleeping long enough."

Tanner had no choice but to open his eyes. As before he had to concentrate to get them to focus. He looked into the face of a man he respected and tried to remember what had brought him to this point.

"How're you feeling, Son?" Sanchez asked, a thin smile on his face.

"Feel like crap, J...Josiah."

"I bet," Sanchez laughed as the nurse checked the younger man's vitals.

"W...what happened?"

"What do you remember?"

"Remember something hitting me in the back," he muttered as he tried to recapture the memories. All too soon it came slamming back and he knew beyond a doubt that his best friend was dead and he was the cause of it. His soft blue eyes filled with unshed moisture at the thought of the senseless loss of life. All because of a promise that he hadn't been able to keep. A promise he knew was beyond his control to keep but that fact hadn't mattered to Gary Wilcox. Now Chris Larabee was dead, his body torn and broken because of an old friendship. Tears slowly flowed from his eyes as despair born of complete and utter loss threatened to throw him back into the nightmares that would plague him forever.

"Vin, what's wrong?" Sanchez asked worriedly.

"How can you ask me that, Josiah. You know as well as I do what's wrong."

"Maybe I do but why don't you tell me anyway?"

Tanner stared at the warm, friendly eyes and wondered how the man could look at him in such a way. "I killed him, J...Josiah. I killed my best friend. Oh, Jesus,

Cowboy, I should've been able to stop them!" his shoulders trembled as he fought to control his emotions.

"Vin, listen to me!" Sanchez placed his hands on the trembling sharpshooter. "Chris is not dead, Vin. He's in the next room."

"I...I killed him..."

"Vin, look at me. Look at me now!" he order trying to get through the self imposed wall the younger man had placed around himself. "Chris is not dead! Do you hear me? He's not dead!"

Tanner heard the words and finally grasped the meaning and urgency in the older man's voice. "N...not d...dead?"

"That's right, Vin, he's not dead. He's right next door."

"I n...need to see him," Tanner gasped as he tried to sit up.

"Oh, no you don't, Brother. You're not going anywhere yet."

"But..."

"No buts, Vin. Do you know where you are?" Sanchez asked.

"ICU?"

"That's right and you and Chris are here because the doctor thinks you both need extra care and attention. Until he says other wise you're staying where you are."

"Is he going to be alright?" Tanner asked, suddenly feeling very tired.

"I think so, Vin," the ex-preacher answered as he watched the young man go back to sleep.

‘Vin, you promised to watch my back,' Larabee thought as awareness slowly returned once more. He fought his way to the surface and slowly opened his eye, wondering why the left eye refused to obey his command. The bright overhead lights and the constant beeps of monitoring equipment told him he was back in ICU.

He let his eyes close once more and replayed the final few seconds of Vin Tanner's life. He could hear the younger man calling to him as Sharpe enticed him to take his own life. He felt the violent rush of wind as the sharpshooter managed to stop Sharpe and the man had fallen to his death. Vin's words about keeping his promise to watch his back came flooding back as did the warm touch of his hands. He heard and saw Gary Wilcox come out of hiding and saw the gun in his hand. Chris

Larabee was not afraid to die, sooner or later it happened to them all, but he couldn't allow Wilcox to kill him knowing what it would do to his friend. A gasp of mental anguish ripped from his throat as the sharpshooter turned to protect him and the force of the bullet slammed into the younger man's back. He watched the blue eyes slide closed and knew he'd lost the man he considered to be the other half of his soul. Silent tears flowed from his eyes and he knew he was once again alone in a world of tragedy and loss.

Buck's head snapped up as he heard the low moan emanating from the man on the bed. "Chris," he said as he noticed the thin streak of tears running from the right eye into the blond hair. "Are you awake?" he asked as the nurse stood next to the bed.

"L...leave me a...alone," Larabee muttered, his tired voice filled with the despair Buck hadn't heard since he'd lost his family.

"Why do you want to be left alone, Chris?" Wilmington asked worriedly.

"Just want to s...sleep...so tired..." the blond answered, keeping his eyes shut in spite of the chilling pictures he was seeing. Pictures of Vin Tanner's pale face as he slid to the roof, his eyes closing never to open again.

"I know you're tired, Pard, but I can see there's something wrong. Why don't you tell me what it is?"

"No, Buck, j...just leave me alone. Please, j...just leave me a...alone."

Wilmington's heart ached as he listened to the saddened voice plead with him to be left alone. ‘What on earth's wrong, Stud,' he thought as he sat in the chair by the bed. "Oh, hell, Chris," he snapped as realization dawned on him. "Look at me!" he said firmly. The green eye remained closed as pain filled the pale features once more. "Come on, Chris, open your eyes and look at me. There's something I gotta tell you."

Larabee knew his friend wouldn't leave him alone until he did as he'd asked. Forcing his eye open he tried to stop the flow of tears that threatened to leave his eye.

"W...what," he mumbled.

"Chris, Vin is gonna need you when he's released from here," Wilmington smiled as he saw the look of hope appear in the one green orb staring up at him.

"V...Vin's..."

"Alive," Wilmington interrupted.

The body on the bed, weakened by weeks of pain and torture suddenly found the strength it needed and Chris Larabee pulled himself up in the bed. Two sets of hands reached out for him and he struggled to get away from them. "Let me go!" he snapped at the two people keeping him from the one thing he needed to see with his own eyes.

"Mr. Larabee, lie still. You're not going anywhere right now," the nurse told him as between her and the ladies man they forced him back on the bed.

"You don't understand. I need to see him. I need to know that I didn't kill him. God, Buck, please help me."

"Chris, you can't right now. You've just had surgery and your leg's in no shape to hold you up."

"Then put me in a Godammed wheelchair, Buck. I have to see Vin."

"Look, Mr. Larabee, the doctor will be here shortly and you can talk to him. For now you need to relax before you cause that leg to start bleeding again."

The blond head rocked back and forth on the pillow, the pale green eye glancing from one person to the other in anger. "Let me out of here."

"Chris."

Larabee looked to the door to see Stacey Midland and Susan James entered. "Doc tell them to let me see Vin."

"Chris, that's impossible right now," Midland explained.

"No it's not. I'll even get in a wheelchair if you want me to but I'm going."

James signaled for the nurse to follow her out the door and gave orders for five milligrams of Haldol to be given if her patient didn't calm down in the next few minutes. The nurse nodded and prepared the medication.

"Please, Buck, tell them. Tell them I gotta go see him."

"What you gotta do, Stud, is get better. Fuck, Chris, do you realize how close I came to losing you. I can't do it anymore. I can't sit here and watch as my best friend puts his life in jeopardy again. Look Vin is going to be alright and so will you if you both listen to what the doctors have to say," Wilmington snapped, angry at the cavalier attitude Larabee continued to have when it came to his own health.

"Buck, I'm sorry for worrying all of you but..."

"No buts, Chris, you're not going anywhere right now so you might as well relax and accept it."

"No, dammit, I'm not gonna do that," Larabee said as he sat forward once more.

At a signal from James the nurse slipped the medication into the blond's IV.

"What the hell was that?" Larabee hissed.

"Chris, it's just the medication you've been receiving since you were injured," James told him.

"Jesus, you slipped me that sedative again didn't you?" he snarled as a sudden lethargy came over him and he felt himself slipping towards sleep.

"Stubborn," Wilmington said simply.

Midland looked at Shannon as she disposed of the syringe. "Has there been any change since Dr. Silverman ordered the new medications?" she asked as she checked the bandages on Larabee's thigh.

"His blood pressure is one thirty five over seventy five and his foot is warm again."

Midland nodded as she felt the right foot, carefully pressing on the nail bed of the big toe. She looked at the nurse and took the chart noting a brisk capillary refill.

She checked the pedal pulses in his foot and once more felt relieved when the results showed they were strong and steady.

"I've already turned the medication down, Doctor, as per instructions."

"Doc?" Wilmington asked hopefully.

"He's doing better, Buck. The pulse in his foot is strong and it's warm. The medications seem to be doing their jobs and now we'll slowly wean him off them."

"Will this happen again?"

"That's hard to say, Buck, but this is a good sign. We're pretty certain this was a result of the blood loss and we've given him a second transfusion."

"So he'll be alright?"

"He's still listed as critical, Buck, but if things continue to improve he should be just fine."

"Dr. James, what about his..." Wilmington couldn't finish the question.

"Mental state?" James finished for him, noting the slight nod of the ladies man's head. "Chris was just coming out of the depression he was in from the torture and other things they did to him. Normally I wouldn't have given him the sedative but right now he needs to rest and heal. I talked with Dr. Silverman and he wants Chris kept off his leg until he's sure the graft has taken. I know Chris wants to see Vin and I've already noted that Vin wants to see Chris but neither one of them is getting out of bed for another ten to twelve hours. Dr. Marshall will probably let Vin out of ICU tomorrow morning."

"That's great," Wilmington brightened up. "What about Chris?"

"That'll be up to Dr. Silverman and he hasn't said anything yet. Look, Buck, Chris was already weak before these new injuries. The half healed ribs were re-broken in the fall so we're back to square one with those," Midland explained.

"What about his eye? Will he be able to see out of it?"

"Dr. Dalton irrigated it because of some glass particles. He'll need to be seen by an ophthalmologist to be sure," Midland answered.

"Buck, he needs to rest and he needs to let his body heal both in mind and spirit. He's gonna need all of you around him and that includes Vin. He's not in the best of shape physically or mentally either. What I'd like to do is have a few sessions with all of you together once they're released. Ezra and JD also have a lot of issues to deal with. They are both carrying the guilt of letting Sharpe get to Chris and they both need to let it go and realize it was not their fault," James explained.

"It's gonna take a while before any of us lose the guilt but especially hard on Vin and Chris," Wilmington told her.

"Yes it is but they have some damn good friends to help them through it," James smiled as she said it, knowing she'd shocked him with her choice of words. "I've got a meeting to attend. Stacey, I hope Carol is still available as primary care nurse."

"She is, Susan, she's already been in to see them both," Midland answered before turning back to the nurse. "Shannon, page me if there's any problem. Has Dr.

Parker been in to see Chris?"

"Yes, Doctor. He was here about an hour ago. He checked the wounds in his side, leg, arm and also his hands. He was concerned about the blood loss and the new trauma."

"I think we all are," Midland observed. "Buck, you and the others should try to get some rest."

"We will, Doc."

"Sure you will. I'll believe that when I see it. At least make sure you all eat something decent."

Wilmington laughed as the two doctors left the room, leaving him alone once more with his thoughts and fears.

Chapter 90

Ezra Standish opened his eyes and fought the dizziness that nearly overwhelmed his senses. He slowly turned his head and looked around the room. The small nightlight at the bottom of the wall did little to illuminate the room but he knew the large shape seated in the chair beside his bed. He watched Josiah Sanchez sleep for a few minutes before letting his thoughts drift back to his encounter with Tony Sharpe.

‘I'm sorry, Mr. Larabee, I should've been able to stop that Bastard. Should've been able to protect you from the monsters of this world,' he moaned softly and closed his eyes.

"Ez, you awake?"

Standish swallowed the pain he felt and spoke softly. "I certainly hope so, Mr. Sanchez, I'd hate to think I was dreaming this intolerable headache."

"Want me to get the nurse?"

"No. I don't wish to be the beneficiary of any more pain medications."

"Might help you sleep."

"That's something I'd rather not do either."

"Too many dreams?"

"Too many nightmares."

"Ah, I understand. I think we'll all suffer from some of those. Having watched those videos of what Brother Chris was put through is apt to cause us all nightmares for some time to come. But that's not all of it is it Brother? You're feeling Guilty."

"Guilt is nothing new to me, Mr. Sanchez. I let Mr. Larabee fall into the hands of that monster and it nearly caused him and Mr. Tanner their lives."

"It could have happened to any of us, Ezra. I know that's no consolation but it is the truth. Tony Sharpe planned this right down to having that nurse taken.

Apparently he even managed to get a drug into Chris and that's why he was able to get him to the roof undetected. You know Chris was doing much better and wouldn't have gone with him willingly."

"It doesn't change the fact that I was negligent in my duty."

"No one was negligent, Ezra. If you really want to talk about negligence then it belongs to the hospital for hiring a man like Sharpe in the first place. Guilt is not going to help our brothers get well, Ez, but having all of us there to help them will."

"How are they?" Standish asked, effectively changing the subject.

"Vin's been awake a couple of times."

"Demanding to see Mr. Larabee I'm sure."

"Demanding is right."

"What about Mr. Larabee?"

"He woke up once and yes he demanded to see Vin. The doctors had to sedate him to keep him from hurting himself further."

"That certainly sounds like our fearless leader and our sharpshooter. They are not known for subtlety."

"No, Brother, they're not," Sanchez said and noticed the grimace on the pale face. "Headache getting worse?"

"A little."

"I'll get the nurse," Sanchez said and pressed the call button.

Vin opened his eyes and swallowed painfully. His mouth felt arid as he tried to lick his lips.

"Welcome back, Vin."

"N...Nathan?"

"That's right. How're you feeling?"

"T...thirsty."

"Here you go, Mr. Tanner," a straw was placed in front of his mouth and he drank greedily.

"That's enough for now. I'll give you more in a couple of minutes," the nurse said as she placed the cup on the table and moved to measure the urine output.

"Chris?"

"He's still next door," Jackson answered.

"Is he going to be a...alright?"

"He's still critical, Vin. He lost a lot of blood and went through more surgery."

"What for this time?" Tanner asked worriedly.

"A shard of glass punctured his femoral artery and they had to take him directly to surgery to stop the bleeding."

"How long have we been here?"

"Thirty two hours."

"Thirty two hours? I don't remember anything except thinking Chris was dead and Josiah telling me he wasn't. God, Nathan, I...I thought he was gone when I saw him down there with Wilcox."

"So did I, Vin."

"Mr. Tanner, We're going to be moving you to a semi private room in about an hour," the nurse explained.

"Is Chris coming with me?"

"Not yet, Vin, hopefully it won't be much longer."

"Nathan, I need to see him."

"I'll see if we can arrange it before they take you to your new room."

Tanner nodded gratefully, "Thanks, Nate."

Jackson smiled, "I said I'll try, Vin, but I'm not sure they'll let you."

Tanner smiled, a smile that took some of the pain from the handsome face, "Oh I'm sure they will, Nate," he said.

Chapter 91

"Chris, can you hear me?" Orrin Travis asked as he watched the younger man tossing on the bed.

"I'll kill you, Wilcox. I'll kill you for what you've done," Larabee's weak cries tore at the older man's heart.

"Chris, come on, Son, it's just a dream. Open your eyes."

"You bastard! You killed him!"

"Mr. Larabee, you need to wake up," the nurse tried, worried that his thrashing would open the wounds and start his leg bleeding again.

Orrin Travis turned to the door and sighed deeply. The man Chris needed to see was being pushed into the room. Although pale, Vin's face was also filled with relief as his eyes drank in the familiar form on the bed.

"Get me over there, Nathan," Tanner ordered and felt the bed being pushed into the room and up to the writhing form on the bed. As soon as the beds were side by side Vin moved closer to his friend.

"Vin! Wilcox you..."

"Hey, Cowboy, you having a problem there?" Tanner reached across the railing and touched his friend's shoulder.

"Oh, Jesus, you killed him," Larabee's voice was edged with pain and despair as he struggled with the death of his friend. Tremors wracked his body as terrified eyes opened wide and a cry of pain issued from his throat. His hands lashed out at anything close to him and a feral rage contorted his face.

"Vin, we have to move you back," Jackson snapped as he watched the nurse trying to control the flailing hands.

"No! Dammit, Nathan. He's stuck in a fuckin' nightmare. He ain't gonna hurt me. Are ya Cowboy?"

A voice penetrated the vivid world he was trapped in. The voice of reason, the voice of calm, the voice of Vin Tanner.

"That's it, Chris, just open those Larabee eyes and give us that glare," Tanner drawled as he reached for the hand of his friend.

"V...Vin?"

"Yeah, Pard, it's me. You need to stop doin' this before you hurt yourself even more."

Larabee swallowed as he stared at the man in the next bed. "Thought you were dead, Vin," The single green eye filled with unshed moisture as the blond realized his friend was indeed alive. "Oh, Jesus, I thought you were dead. I thought that Bastard took you away from us."

"I p...promised you I'd be here to watch your back, Pard..."

"And you never go back on a p...promise."

"It's over, Chris."

"Is it, Vin? Are they all dead?"

"Nathan?" Tanner turned to the medic, unsure if Wilcox was dead or not, his tired mind unsure whether or not he'd asked and received an answer to that question.

"Sharpe died instantly. Wilcox was revived..."

"Son of a Bitch!" Tanner hissed, seeing the familiar panic on Larabee's face.

"Wait, Vin, Chris, both of you be calm. I said he was revived but they lost him again. He's dead."

"Dead?" Larabee whispered, his shoulders slumping as a surge of relief washed over him.

"Dead?" Tanner repeated and the two men closed their eyes, picturing the man who'd caused them both so much pain. A soft moan brought Tanner back to reality and he looked to the pale blond. "It's alright, Cowboy, he can't hurt either of us anymore."

"Amen to that," Jackson said from beside him. "What's ironic is that he died saving your life, Chris. Oh he didn't do it on purpose but he cushioned your fall. You would've been a lot worse off if you hadn't landed on top of him. At least now you can both heal and not have to worry about those bastards. Bet you can't wait to get out of here."

"Hear that, Cowboy, what do ya say? Want to get out of this place and back home?"

"I've never wanted anything so bad, Vin," Larabee said, yawning widely.

"Me either. Think maybe we could convince them to let us go with time served."

"If they do you can wheel me out of here right now," the blond smiled as his eyes began to grow heavy.

"That's not gonna happen," the nurse laughed. "Mr. Larabee, you need to go to sleep. Mr. Tanner, it looks like the orderlies are ready to take you to your new room."

"You gonna be alright, Chris?" Tanner asked.

"Am now. You?"

"Think so. I'll be up to see you later today," the younger man told him.

"Oh I don't think so, Vin. I think maybe you got another day or two before you're up and around," Jackson informed him.

"Go, Vin, least you'll have a little freedom," Larabee muttered wistfully.

"Chris, they're putting Vin in a semi private room and as soon as Dr. Silverman gives the ok you'll be joining him."

"Hmm."

"I think he's asleep. Thank you for calming him down, Mr. Tanner," the nurse nodded as the second bed was wheeled from the room.

"Nathan, is he going to be alright?" Tanner asked as the medic walked beside his bed.

"I think so, Vin. It's gonna take a long time but I think maybe you'll both start healing now."

"I think that's something we all need to do," the sharpshooter closed his eyes and thought about old friends and broken promises.

"Hey, Stud, you gonna sleep the day away?"

"B...Buck?" Larabee coughed and soon felt a straw in front of his mouth. He drank gratefully until the nurse took it away.

"Yeah, Pard, it's me. How're you feeling?"

"Honestly?"

"That'd be nice for a change."

"Lousy."

"Figured as much. Heard you were having a rough time of it today. Why don't you let them give you a little extra to make it easier?"

"I'm tired of all the drugs, Buck. Tired of feeling out of control. I wish they'd take this damn Morphine pump off and let me choose when I want to take something."

"They probably will when they take you down to your new room, Chris."

"How's Vin doing?" he asked as the nurse checked the wound on his leg.

"He's about the same as you. Wanting out of here and giving the nurses and doctors a hard time."

"Oh, hell, Buck, I'm just tired of being in here. I feel like I've been in here forever," he groaned as the nurse redressed his wound.

"Mr. Larabee, I know this hurts but it has to be done," the nurse said sympathetically. "You've been in a lot of pain since you woke up and I really think you should consider letting me give you a little extra."

"Listen to her, Chris, she makes sense."

"Yeah, Buck, she does but..."

"But you hate admitting that you're hurting."

The green eye misted as the blond looked at his oldest friend, a man he turned to whenever things got really bad. The only man who understood his friendship with

Vin Tanner. The only man who knew his deepest secrets and fears. They'd shared a lot of years and still turned to each other when times got really bad. "You read me too easily, Pard."

"Does that mean you're going to let her give you something?"

"I guess so, Buck, I'm tired of all this."

"It won't be for much longer, Chris," Wilmington assured him. "You and Vin'll be home before you know it."

"Not soon enough for me," Larabee groaned.

"Mr. Larabee, did you want me to give you another shot?"

He moved on the bed and knew there was little choice if he planned on getting through the day. "Yeah, anything to make this stop," he gasped. He closed his eyes, not wanting his friend to see just how much he was hurting. His stomach churned as he relived what he thought was Vin Tanner's last few minutes of life.

‘I wish I could make it all go away, Pard,' the ladies man thought as he watched his friend finally succumb to sleep.

Chapter 92

"Mr. Tanner, can I come in?"

Tanner rubbed sleep drenched eyes and pressed the button on his bed to raise his head. "Sure, Ez, come on in. How's the head?" he asked, having found out from

Nathan what Sharpe had done to Standish.

"Intolerable at times but not too bad at the moment."

"Have a seat."

"Thank you, Mr. Tanner, how are you feeling?"

"Depends on what you're asking about."

"Everything."

"Well aside from all the blood tests and the damned IV I'd say I'm doing fine."

"Your back?"

"Hurts, mostly when I try to move. My shoulder's still a little sore but it's not too bad," Tanner told him, then noticed something in the other man's eyes. "That's not really why you're here is it, Ez?"

The gambler stared at the younger man, knowing he was reading right through the poker face he tried so hard to show. "I keep thinking about Sharpe and what he did to Mr... What he did to Chris. Jesus, Vin, I let that bastard get him. What kind of friend am I?"

"It wasn't your fault. I've come to realize the fault doesn't sit with either of us it sits with, Wilcox, Whelan, and Sharpe."

"I keep saying the same thing but I can't help feeling like I let all of you down."

"You did nothing wrong, Ez. Sharpe knew his way around and he knew how to get what he wanted. If you hadn't told the officer outside Chris's door to go that nurse would be dead now. You did the only thing you could. You saved her life and that's something to be thankful for."

"But I almost cost Chris his life and you yours."

"No, you didn't. Sharpe caught us when we were most vulnerable but the bastard messed with the wrong guys."

"I know you're right, Vin, I just have to keep reminding myself of that."

"Have you been up to see Chris?"

"Not yet but I will do so in a few minutes. I...I just wasn't sure if I c...could face him after everything that happened."

"You've done nothing to be ashamed of, Ezra. Go see Chris, he'll tell you the same thing. We're proud to have you as a friend."

"Thanks, Vin, I needed to hear that," Standish said as he left the sharpshooter alone.

‘Dammit, Gary, how many lives did your hatred touch? How many people have to pay the price for something that was beyond our control?' he thought as silent tears flowed down his cheeks.

Standish could tell Chris Larabee was sleeping as he slowly walked into the room. Wilmington looked at the newcomer and nodded as he stood up. He could see the white bandage on the pale forehead and knew the man was carrying a load of guilt. Something they all needed to deal with. "Hey, Ez, good to see you up and about."

"Thanks, Mr. Wilmington. How is Mr. Larabee feeling."

"I'm fine, Ez," Larabee said as he stared up at the newcomer. The only man who hadn't been in to see him since the night Sharpe had victimized them all. "Heard you got hurt the other night."

"I assure you, Mr. Larabee, it's nothing to be concerned about."

"I'll leave you two alone for awhile. Kinda getting hungry anyway," Wilmington could tell the two men needed to talk. "I'll be back in a little while, Stud."

"Thanks, Buck," Larabee smiled weakly as the newcomer sat in the chair beside the bed. He slowly raised the head of the bed so he could look at the gambler.

"Ezra, you should know I'm always concerned about my friends."

Standish was taken aback by Larabee's open admission of friendship and he returned the weak smile. "Some friend."

The two words came out filled with self loathing and Larabee picked up on it immediately. "It wasn't your fault, Ez."

"I was responsible for watching you! Don't you understand, Chris? I'm responsible for what that bastard did to you and Vin! I didn't do my job and you were both nearly killed!"

"Ezra," Larabee waited for the green eyes to look at him. "Do you really think I blame you for what happened the other night?"

"You should."

"No, Ezra, I shouldn't. This all came about because Wilcox blamed Vin for breaking a promise. Vin never broke it, he was hurt and unconscious but Gary Wilcox didn't see it that way. He let the anger and rage get to him. He let it tear him apart inside. Let himself believe that his torment was caused by Vin. He let it simmer inside of him, burning the soul out of him. Turning him into a man bent on vengeance. He took every bad thing that happened to him and laid the blame at Vin

Tanner's feet."

"But..."

"But nothing, Ez, put the blame where it belongs and that's just not with any of us. You were a victim in this same as JD and Vin and me. I know all about guilt, Ezra, believe me you're looking at the man who invented the word. I feel sorry for Wilcox because he didn't have the guts to face what happened to him. No, wait, that's wrong. I feel sorry for him because he didn't let himself see beyond his thirst for vengeance. Didn't let himself see what a true friend he had in Vin. I'm not getting my point across with this. I can't seem to think straight right now. What I'm trying to say, Ez, is that you have nothing to feel guilty about and neither do any of the rest of us. I'm damned proud to call each of you friend and I promise to do anything in my power to keep it that way."

"Thanks, Chris."

"For what?"

"For being Chris Larabee. For always knowing what needs to be said and saying it. I know in my heart it wasn't my fault but hearing it from you and Vin makes it a little easier to believe."

"We're family, Ez, and family looks after each other. How's Vin doing?" Larabee asked as he yawned loudly. "Damn, can't seem to stop doing that. Sorry."

"No need to apologize, Mr. Larabee," Standish said, distancing himself once more. "You have the right after everything you've been through. As for Mr. Tanner he is resting in his room. I'm sure he'll feel much better once you join him there."

"Me too," Larabee said as he let his eyes slide shut.

Chapter 93

The next morning Chris woke up to find his doctors hovering over him. The night had been filled with dreams and he wasn't in the mood to let anyone touch him right now. He looked from James to Midland to Parker to Silverman before speaking. "Oh, great, just what I need. The gangs all here."

James raised her eyebrows as she heard the undercurrent of anger in the softly spoken words. She'd been waiting for this. She knew Larabee was trying to hold it all inside. She knew the dam was going to break soon and would either manifest itself in anger or fester inside of him till it ate away the man he really was. She also knew she couldn't force him to talk about anything until he was ready to let it go. Today she was here as an observer, waiting to see what impact the new trauma would have on her patient. She stood back as Parker, Midland and Silverman stood beside the bed.

"Good morning, Chris," Midland smiled at the injured man, not liking the dark circles under his eye.

"It would be if you guys would just let me out of here," he snapped.

"Well now, Chris, if you'd let us take a look at you that might just be arranged," Silverman told him.

"I can go home?"

Parker shook his head and smiled before answering. "No, not yet at least but we can probably get rid of the IV in your neck and the NG tube."

"Least that's something," Larabee hissed tiredly. Truth be told he hadn't slept well at all not even with the pain medication being fed into his body. The physical pains were not what was keeping him awake. The dreams and vivid nightmares were playing havoc with his senses each time he tried to close his eyes. One image kept repeating itself and even though Chris knew beyond a doubt that his friend was alive the image was almost more than he could bear. He'd caught himself several times on the verge of screaming but he'd been able to wake just before the scream broke the silence of the quiet floor. He knew he needed to sleep but he wouldn't be doing much of that until the nightmares receded. ‘Probably never have a good night's sleep again. Just have to make damn sure she doesn't know,' he thought as he looked towards the psychiatrist.

Susan James didn't miss the involuntary flinch on Larabee's face as he'd turned his eyes towards her. She knew he wasn't sleeping, could tell by the way his eyes darted around the room as if he was searching for something he'd lost. ‘I can help you, Chris, you just have to want it,' she thought as she watched her colleagues check the physical injuries.

"Alright, Chris, your hands are finally starting to get back in shape. Peggy will start coming to see you again this morning. It's important that you continue with the physiotherapy. How do the ribs feel?"

"Well let me see. Aside from hurting when I move or breath they don't feel to bad. But my leg, now that's a different matter altogether. Hurts like a son of a bitch whether I move or not," he snapped.

Midland turned to James and she knew the psychiatrist was taking everything in. She knew if Chris got in real trouble James would do something about it. Right now it looked as if she was letting the injured man talk about how he really felt even if it meant they were the ones on the receiving end of his anger and frustrations. She turned back to the bed knowing Chris Larabee needed to talk things out and that James would get him too when the time was right.

Silverman lifted the bandage away from the swollen thigh and gently probed the wound, ignoring the slight hiss of breath from the blond. "It's going to take some time for this to heal, Chris. I want you to stay off it as much as you can."

"Hell, Doc, I haven't been out of this bed in two days."

"It'll probably be another few days before I let you up on this and even then you'll need help."

"Help! You know how tired I am of needing someone to help me? Do you know how tired I am of not being able to do what I want? Of not being able to get up and go to the damned bathroom on my own. To take a shower when I want to? To...to...oh just forget it. What I want don't mean a thing around here anyway," his angry voice snapped.

Silverman prided himself on his patience and he sat on the edge of the bed as the nurse redressed the wound on his patient's thigh. "What you want is important,

Chris but for now it's not as important as what you need. You need to give that leg and the rest of your wounds time to heal. I know how hard it is for a man like you to relax but that's just what you're going to have to do. You're going to have to relax and let everyone else do things for you until you've healed enough to do them yourself. Now, I know you don't like it but that's the way things are at the moment. Trust me I believe you when you say you're tired of being here. If all goes well it'll just be another ten days, two weeks at the most till you go home."

"T...ten days," Larabee glared at the doctor.

"No. Ten days to two weeks. Now, I know you don't like those tubes so why don't we get rid of them and see about moving you down with Mr..."

"Tanner," Larabee supplied, a wistful look erased some of the lines of anger and pain at the thought of sharing a room with his friend.

"Mr. Tanner," Silverman smiled as he told the nurse what tubes could be dispensed with. "Oh," he said as he started to leave. "Almost forgot you can get rid of the foley as well. I know it's the one you hate the most," as he turned away he saw the smile on James's face and nodded. ‘Not bad, Susan, you pegged him right,' he thought as he remembered the conversation they'd had before entering Larabee's room.

Chris was alone in his room, waiting to be moved in with Tanner. He'd spent the time since the doctor left angry at himself for letting his emotions get the best of him.

He hadn't planned on getting angry with the doctors or admitting just how much he was hurting but he'd been unable to stop himself. He heard someone walk into the room but didn't open his eyes until the familiar voice caused him to panic.

"I hear you're finally getting out of here, Chris."

Larabee fought back the angry retort as he remember Jake Taylor was not there in the role of a Sitter. He was there as a friend, a new friend but one he'd come to respect since their talks began. "Jake," he said as he pressed the button on the side of his bed, raising his head a little higher.

"How're you doing, Chris?"

"I'm fine, Jake," Larabee lied as he moved his injured leg on the bed.

"You know I've always admired people who could lie and make others believe them but it's just not working for you right now. You may be able to fool others,

Son, but you really can't fool yourself. Your own body knows how much you're hurting and it shows on your face," Taylor smiled as he sat in the empty chair.

Larabee smiled at the older man. "You know, Jake, for a man I've known such a short time you have an uncanny ability to read me."

"Not so uncanny, Chris. I just know a kindred spirit when I see one. Don't look so surprised. I was a cop for twenty seven years and I took my share of bullets in the line of duty. Had my share of using the old ‘I'm fine' routine," he smiled as his eyebrows narrowed. "Tell me does anyone believe you when you use those two words?"

"No," Larabee answered with a grin.

"They didn't when I said it either," he returned the smile knowing the younger man needed to know he wasn't alone.

"Jake, remind me I owe you a drink when I get out of here."

"Oh, I think I could manage that," Taylor assured him. "Maybe we can go to Buck's Place."

"Oh shit you don't want to go there. Buck hasn't cleaned since he moved in."

Taylor's face went blank for a second until he realized what the blond was saying. "I don't mean your friend Buck. Most people refer to it as Buck's Bar on the southside. Have you ever been there?"

"I don't think so. I'd have remembered a place with that name."

"Well in that case the first beer will be on me. You can buy the second one. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Mr. Larabee, we're ready to bring you downstairs," the nurse told him.

"I guess I'll be going, Chris. If it's alright I'd like to come see you again."

"I look forward to it, Jake. Thanks."

"My pleasure. Just take care, alright, and if things get too bad you've got a great bunch of friends you can talk to."

"I will," Larabee said as the nurse and an orderly began unhooking the bed from the wall.

Chapter 95

Vin sat in the chair next to his bed, gazing wistfully at the people in the wooded park across the street. He loved nature and hated being cooped up in the hospital. He winced as he stood up to get something to drink, hoping today he'd get something more than the liquid diet he'd been on since waking up. He placed the glass back on the table and faced the door as it opened and his nurse came in.

"Hello, Vin, your room mate's on his way down."

"Thanks, Tonia," he smiled, not sure how he felt about having Chris in the room with him. ‘Come on, Vin, he's your best friend,' he thought. ‘Yeah and you damn near got him killed.'

"I'm going to move your bed back to the wall a little so they can bring Mr. Larabee in," Tonia explained as she took the locks off and pushed the bed towards the window. She turned to the door as her new patient was wheeled into the room.

Vin watched the new bed being pushed inside with a mixture of trepidation and hope. ‘God, how can I face him after everything Wilcox did to him,' Tanner thought as he met the single green eye. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and forced a smile to his face.

Chris stared back at his friend, seeing the pain and fear in the blue eyes, knowing he was unwittingly the cause of those feelings. He hated seeing that look on the younger man's face and he hoped and prayed it would go away with time. Those eyes so usually filled with excitement and bravado were now clouded with something he hoped never to see again. Chris could see the guilt and he vowed to make sure Tanner never saw just how hard things really were for him. ‘Can't let him know about the nightmares,' he thought as the orderly pushed his bed into position.

"Hi, Mr. Larabee, my name's Tonia and I'll be here all day or should I say what's left of the day. I'm going to take your vitals now and see about fixing the morphine pump so you can administer the medication as you need it," she said as she wrapped a BP cuff around his arm.

Vin listened to the nurse as she tended to his friend. ‘I'll find a way to make it up to you, Pard,' he thought as he stared out the window.

Chris lay back against the pillow while the nurse took his vitals and adjusted things with his IV. He heard her say she'd be back shortly to fix the pump and he managed a small smile. His body still betrayed him at the oddest times and he felt himself drifting towards sleep. ‘No, can't sleep, have to talk to Vin. Have to let him know everything's going to be alright. Dammit, so tired,' he thought as he fought to keep his eye open. Finally he pressed the button on the side of his bed, bringing his head up so he could look across at his friend. He bit back a cry as he noticed the haggard look on the pale face.

‘Jesus, Vin, guess I'm not the only one with nightmares. How long since you slept, Pard?' he thought as he watched the sharpshooter. The younger man sat by the window, facing Larabee's bed, his eyes closed and his head tilted slightly to the right. Chris thought he was sleeping until the blue eyes opened and caught his in a pain filled gaze. "V...Vin," Larabee whispered softly.

"Hey, Cowboy, glad they finally sprung ya from ICU," Tanner smiled weakly at his friend, the two men swallowing the words they wanted to say, neither wanting to burden the other with the pain and fear they were feeling.

"Me too," was all Larabee could get out. The hurt, the pain, the fear, and the anger threatened to come out once more as he looked at his injured friend. "I...I'm sorry, Vin."

"Sorry? For what?" Tanner asked as he held his IV pole and walked around the side of his bed so he could see his friend more clearly. The single green eye looking up at him sent shivers of fear down his spine. ‘Will you ever be rid of that fear, Cowboy?' he thought as he saw the alien emotion in the silent glare.

"Sorry, for everything, Vin. I should never have let Sharpe get me on that roof!"

"Wasn't your fault, Chris, on top of everything else you went through, the asshole drugged you," he said and saw the surprise in his friend's face. "Yeah, that's right. I know all about him giving you something, Chris. Something that made it easy for him to handle you. To get you to do as he wanted."

"I nearly got you killed, Vin," Larabee hissed angrily and glared at his friend as Tanner erupted in laughter.

"Oh, Jesus, Chris, Now that's funny. Look at you. You've been through hell and you're still living through it all because of me. All because an old f...friend wanted to make me pay for a promise I broke. That's right, Chris, I broke it! Not you! But did Gary give a damn? No! All he cared about was making you hurt. Making you pay the price for the fuckin' promise I didn't keep," Tanner swore as he picked up the cup of water and threw it across the room, to splatter against the wall. His own anger at himself for what had been done to his friend making him short tempered as he stood looking at the price he'd paid for his broken promise.

"Vin," Larabee's voice was low as he looked at his friend. "I don't blame you for what Whelan did to me."

"You should, Chris, look at you. Look what that bastard did to you. You're in so much pain, oh don't tell me you're not cause I can read it in your eyes. No, that's wrong too, I can read it in your eye, cause that's all I can see right now! Jesus, how much do you have to pay for what I did?" Tanner gasped as he sank to the floor by Larabee's bed, tears of anger and frustration in his eyes.

Larabee leaned to the side of the bed, muffling the hiss of pain he felt as he looked down at his friend. "I'd pay anything to wipe that guilt off your face, Tanner. I know it's not going to happen overnight but at some point I'm hoping we can both get past this and prove once and for all that Gary Wilcox didn't win. We can't let him win, Vin. Because if he does you and I both lose. James says I have to keep taking the Zoloft because she doesn't want me getting depressed. Hell, I'm already depressed but I'm taking it because there's no choice in the matter. They'll ram it down my throat if I refuse. I don't have any control over my own life anymore because I gave it over to Whelan the minute he drove those fucking nails into my hands," Larabee hissed as he fought back the tears that threatened to fall. He groaned as he jerked his leg on the bed. "Jesus, will this ever stop," he snarled as he placed his hand over his head.

Tanner listened to every word his friend said, he let him talk through his own frustrations and was amazed at how good it felt knowing Chris was confiding his fears and pain to him. He slowly pulled himself up off the floor and looked down at the pale blond. "It will, Chris. I can't tell you when but it'll stop for both of us. You're right about not letting Gary win. I swear if it's the last thing I do I'll put this behind me for good. What do you say, Cowboy, you up for probably the longest and hardest fight of your life?"

Larabee dropped his hand from his head and look at the other man. "Only if we do it together," he whispered as he held up his arm. The two men smiled as they realized it was impossible to shake hands because of the opposing IVs. "Jesus, we're a sorry pair," Larabee smiled weakly as a yawn spread over his face.

"Yeah, we are at that and ya know what, Cowboy, as sorry as we are I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything."

"Thanks, Vin, same goes with you."

"Get some sleep, Chris, the others are gonna be here soon and who knows when we'll be able to rest," Tanner smiled at his friend as the green eye closed. "I'll always be here, Chris, anything you need, anything at all you got it," he whispered thinking the man was asleep.

"Same goes for you, Vin Tanner. Anytime, anywhere, anyplace, no matter what it takes I'll be there," Larabee didn't open his eye but the smile on his face was a soothing balm to the younger man's soul as he watched some of the lines leave the handsome face.

"Go to sleep, Chris," Tanner said as he walked back to his own bed.

"Can't, not if you keep jawing," Larabee muttered and Vin could hear the tiny laugh that followed.

Five minutes later Tonia stuck her head in the door and looked at her two patients. She stepped up to Tanner's bed and checked his IV before turning her attention to the second man. ‘You've both been through so much,' she thought as she checked Larabee's IV. ‘Nobody deserves to be hurt like that.' She turned away from the beds as the door opened and shook her head at the five men standing there. Hurrying to the door she ushered them back outside as she let the door close gently behind her. "They're sleeping and lord only knows how much they need it. Why don't you guys come back in a couple of hours?" she asked.

"Chris is in there with Vin, isn't he ma'am?" Dunne asked.

"Yes, he was brought down a little over an hour ago."

"How're they doing?" Jackson asked.

"About as well as can be expected considering everything they've been through. Mr. Tanner's renal function is normal so the doctors are very pleased with that," the nurse explained.

"How long will he have to stay in?" Wilmington asked.

"Probably another week."

"And Chris?" Sanchez asked.

"All I can tell you is he still has a ways to go. He'll be here for approximately two weeks. I have to check on a couple of other patients. Let them rest for a little while.

You can see them as soon as they wake up," she said as she hurried away.

"Why don't we go get an early dinner and keep them company when they've had some sleep?" Jackson suggested and they all agreed.

Chapter 96

‘Jump, Chris, it's the only way to save them. See the flames, Chris? See how they devour everything in their wake? See how they're getting closer to

Sarah and Adam? You're the only one who can save them. But you have to jump. Are you man enough to save them or are you a yellow coward just like

Vin said you were.'

‘No!' Larabee moaned softly as he turned over in the bed.

‘Oh, yes, Chris, you have to jump. Look over there. See isn't that Vin watching you? He wants you to jump just as much as I do. Blames you for everything the inconsiderate friend that he is. Come on, dammit! Jump!'

‘No!' Larabee snapped, screaming has his body was shoved over the edge of the roof. ‘Falling, oh, God, I'm falling. No!' he screamed as he neared the ground.

He could make out the faces on the roof even as his body dropped in slow motion. Vin, Buck, Nathan, Josiah, Ezra, JD, Wilcox, Whelan, and Sharpe, all laughing as his body slammed into the roof of the car. "You Bastards!" Chris screamed as he sat up in his bed, eye open and unseeing.

"Jesus, Chris," Tanner gasped as his eyes flew open and he looked at his trembling friend, knowing he was still wrapped in the folds of a horrid nightmare.

"You, Bastards, supposed to be my friends," Larabee screamed at something only he could see.

"Chris!" Tanner exclaimed as he struggled out of his own bed and hurried to his friend's side. "Come on, Cowboy, it's time to wake up."

"No!" Larabee cried out as he looked up at the roof, his subconscious mind wondering why he was able to see their faces from such a distance. "I don't need any of you!" he screamed.

"Chris, come on, Cowboy, open your eyes and look at me," Tanner reached down and touched the blonde's shoulder in an effort to wake him.

Larabee felt someone touch him and realized he was not alone anymore. He looked to his left and saw one of the faces from his nightmare. A face he'd always thought of as friendly but was now just another reminder of what had happened to him. "Get the fuck away from me, Tanner!" he swore, sliding as far away from the younger man as he could.

"Chris, what the hell's wrong?" the sharpshooter asked.

"What's wrong, Tanner? What the hell could possibly be wrong? My so called best friends are trying to kill me!" Larabee snapped angrily.

"What are you talking about?" Vin asked as the door flew open and five men hurried into the room.

"No, God damn you! I don't need any of you! Get the fuck out of here!" Larabee snapped as he tried to put the rail down on the side of his bed.

"Vin, get back in the bed," Jackson ordered as he saw how pale the younger man was growing. "Josiah, help him. JD, go get a nurse. Chris, what's wrong?" the medic asked as he stepped up to the bed.

"Stay away from me! All of you just leave me the hell alone!" the blond warned as he continued to struggle with the bed rail. The side finally dropped and he swung his legs out over the edge, ignoring the sharp pain that stabbed through his upper right thigh. He landed hard on his feet and bit back a groan as his legs threatened to crumble beneath him.

"Chris, you need to get back in that bed," Jackson ordered.

"I need to get the hell out of here and away from all of you," Larabee snapped, tearing at the IV in his arm.

"No, Chris," Wilmington said as he and Standish reached the angry blond.

"Take it easy, Buck, Ezra," Jackson warned as Tonia hurried into the room.

"Mr. Larabee," the man didn't seem to notice she was there. "You two let him go for a minute," Tonia told Buck and Ezra. "Chris, look at me. You know who I am and you know I'm not going to hurt you but you need to leave the IV where it is or we're just going to have to restart it. Why don't you get back in the bed."

"No! I want out of here," the blond hissed as he glared at the people in the room. His eyes swung to the door as Susan James entered. Larabee pushed away from the bed in an effort to get away from everyone trying to help him. He teetered on his left leg, gasping as he tried to put some weight on his right leg. He reached out and grabbed the table beside his bed as the room began to spin in ever increasing concentric circles. "No," he cried as he touched his head. He felt strong hands reach for him and he tried to move away. "D...don't need your help," he hissed as he felt them lift him back on the bed. He swallowed hard as he realized the nightmare was over and that his friends really were here to help him. He looked directly at Susan James as she walked towards his bed and then turned towards Vin

Tanner, a pleading look on his face. "M...make them stop," he whispered and knew Vin heard him.

"Make what stop, Chris?" Tanner asked as the others stood back to let the two men talk. He slid out of his bed and moved across the small space, his eyes in constant contact with those of his friend. He sat on the edge of Larabee's bed, waiting for the other man to speak. Hoping they'd be able to talk some of this through with James in the room.

"The dreams, t...the nightmares. Can't seem to sleep. They keep coming. Never meant to hurt anyone. I know you're my friends b...but you were all there, on the roof, l...laughing at what Sharp was doing to me," Larabee's body tensed on the bed as he thought about everything that was done to him and Vin.

"How often are you having this nightmare, Chris?" James asked from the foot of the bed.

The fear and anger were foremost in his mind and he wanted to scream and shout at the world at the unfairness of it all. He tried to turn away but a hand on his shoulder made him stop. He looked at the blue eyed sharpshooter and knew he would be there for him. Larabee laughed as he looked away from Tanner and directly at the psychiatrist. "Every time I close my eyes," he told her as Tonia began checking the wound in his thigh. "I...it never changes. Always ends w...with

Sharpe pushing me off the roof. I know Vin stopped him but I c...can't seem to stop the images. They just keep coming even when I'm awake."

"You want to tell me about it?" James asked.

"Thought I just did," Larabee groaned as he closed his eye.

"Not all of it," James said.

"Don't feel like talking right now," the blond said as he turned his head away from his friends. "Maybe later." Chris felt his friends staring at him. He knew he'd said to much, revealed to much about himself. He turned away from his friend and let silent tears fall from his eye. ‘Dear, God, will I ever get past all of this?' he thought as he felt Tonia finish checking the wound on his leg.

Wilmington sat between the two beds. Both men had finally fallen asleep. Susan James had left shortly after speaking with Chris about his nightmares. She'd talked with Jackson outside the room and explained to him why she wasn't pushing Chris to talk right now. They all understood that it would take time but only Buck understood the real meaning. He'd seen the guilt Chris went through after the death of his family and Whelan had brought back all those memories. "Damn, Stud, how much more can you and Vin take?"

"Buck?"

Wilmington turned to the young man in the bed by the window. "Yeah, Vin, it's me. How're you feeling?"

"Feel like shit, Buck," Tanner said as he raised the head of his bed. "How's Chris doing?"

"Bout the same I guess. Fell asleep about the same time as you."

"Wish the hell none of this had happened, Buck."

"We all do, Vin. If I could do anything to change it I would. Neither one of you deserved what those savages did to you."

"Buck, do you think anything will ever be the way it was b...before?"

"You mean before Wilcox came back?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know that any of us will ever be the same, Vin.  From the moment we watched that first video tape we were all changed. Seeing what those animals put Chris through and knowing there was nothing we could do to prevent it was one of the worst things any of us ever had to do. Watching you and knowing how much you blamed yourself for all of this was also hard. We've all done things in the past and I'm pretty damned sure we all have enemies out there but Wilcox, Whelan, and Sharpe are probably the worst of the lot. I...I keep seeing Chris when we first found the two of you. Jesus, I hope never to see that look in his eyes again," the ladies man said as he swiped at his eyes.

"I know, Buck, I thought we'd lost him for good," Tanner told him.

Larabee listened to the two men talking. He'd been awake since the beginning of the conversation between Buck and Vin. He understood the anger each man felt but it didn't help with his own anger. He knew the nightmares were just that but he couldn't help his own anger each time he woke from one of them. He couldn't help screaming out each time he saw their faces on top of the roof with Wilcox, Whelan, and Sharpe. ‘How the hell do I get past all this?' he thought, keeping his eye closed as he listened intently to the two men.

"Me too, Vin. I don't know if you realize just how much I envy you the ease with which you can talk to him. Chris and I go back a long ways but I don't think he's ever opened up to me the way he has you. Oh, don't get me wrong cause I'm not angry about it. I'm just envious. I'd like nothing better than to sit down with that hard head and let him know just how much he means to me but Chris ain't one to go in for that mushy stuff."

"I noticed that, Buck," Tanner smiled at the ladies man. "I think this might just be one of those times when he has no choice but to put up with a little mushy stuff and I don't mean just from you. I have a feeling we're all going to be feeling kinda mushy once we're out of here."

"Dr. James wants us all to make appointments to talk about how this has affected us."

Tanner nodded as he looked from the ladies man to the figure turned away from them on the other bed. He knew by the set of the shoulders that Chris was awake but he didn't say anything to the other man. "I think it's for the best, Buck. We all need to deal with what happened, especially Chris. Maybe if we all talk about it together we can get him past it," he said softly.

"Yeah, you're right, Vin. But not just for Chris for you as well. You know you and Chris are quite the pair. I don't think I've ever met two men more inclined to take the guilt of the world on their shoulders. You're both gonna have to drop that load so you can get on with your life," Wilmington told him.

‘Good ol' Buck,' Larabee thought as he continued to remain quiet. ‘Can't say I'll ever drop the load, Buck, but I'm willing to give it a try,' he thought as he drifted back to sleep.

Chapter 97

The rest of the day and most of the night found the two injured men either sleeping or listening to the other five talk. Chris's sleep was still being invaded by nightmares but he was able to keep from showing the others just how much they were affecting him, or so he thought.

Peggy was working him through the Physiotherapy. She'd worked his fingers and arms and was now working on his leg. His body felt as if it was a mass of agony as she moved the stiff limbs. He kept his eye closed as he felt her hands on his right leg.

"Ok, Chris, I guess that does it for today. I'll see you tomorrow," she said as she patted his shoulder and left the room.

He swallowed and brought his breathing back under control, pressing the button on the tiny box in his hand without even realizing he'd done so. He waited for the warmth that always followed the injection of morphine and signaled the drug would soon control the ragged pain in his body.

"You alright, Cowboy?" Tanner asked as he pulled back the drape and stood next to his friend's bed.

"Will be in a minute, Vin, just have to wait till it eases up a bit," Larabee gasped.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen," Standish said as he entered the room.

"Hey, Vin, Chris," Dunne smiled as he entered behind the gambler.

Josiah and Nathan came next, each man greeting the two injured men as they entered the room.

"Hi," Chris hissed as he sat up more in the bed. He was looking forward to the afternoon because the primary care nurse looking after both Vin and himself would help him out of the bed and into a chair for a while. He never thought he'd look forward to something so simple but three days of being cooped up in the uncomfortable hospital bed was grating on his nerves.

"Hey, guys," Tanner said as he sat on the chair next to Chris's bed. "Where's Buck?"

"Ah, Mr. Wilmington must have stopped to speak with one of the beautiful ladies at the nursing station. I do believe he's envious of you two gentlemen," Standish explained.

"Envious of me and Chris," Tanner looked at the blond incredulously.

"What's there to be envious of?" Larabee asked.

"You get to rest all day instead of working," Dunne answered.

"You get beautiful ladies tending to your every whim," Standish said.

"You get your meals brought to you like clockwork," Sanchez grinned at them.

"Oh, yeah, like we get real gourmet meals. Shimmering shit of all different shades but with the same damn rubbery texture and taste," Tanner drawled, causing the other men to double over in laughter.

"I...I don't t...think I've ever heard Jell-O described so perfectly. Shimmering shit," Larabee laughed as the door opened and Wilmington stepped inside.

"Hey, Guys, what'd I miss?" he asked.

"Mr. Tanner was just regaling us with his impression of Jell-O," Standish explained.

"Vin, you telling them about Shimmering shit again?" Wilmington joined the others in their laughter as an orderly entered the room with a tray. He placed it on

Tanner's table and hurried from the room. He was back a few minutes later with a tray for Chris.

"Now you two eat it all," he ordered, smiling at Wilmington as he left the room.

Sanchez didn't miss the look that passed between Wilmington and the orderly, ‘What are you up to, Buck,' he thought with a grin.

Vin moved to his bed and sat on the edge while JD pushed the table towards him.

Chris closed his eyes and relaxed against the pillows as his friends talked around him. The truth was he was more tired than hungry. The physiotherapy session mixed with the pain meds were taking their toll on him and he felt himself losing touch with reality. He'd nearly fallen asleep when he heard a gasp and Vin Tanner's excited voice.

"Son of a bitch! Buck, you did this didn't you?"

Laughter once more sounded throughout the room and Larabee opened his eye and turned to the younger man. The bright red cheeks were a dead give away to the younger man's embarrassment. "What's wrong, Vin?" Larabee asked, a twinkle in his eye.

"Y...you s...should see t...this," Tanner rasped. He knew from experience that the heat he felt on his face was probably the beet red color that always manifested itself when he was embarrassed. "I'll get you for this, Buck," he said as he watched the others bend over in laughter.

"What'd you do, Buck?" Larabee asked, trying to suppress his own laughter as the rest of the group's infectious laughter continued.

"Me? Now what makes you think I did anything, Stud?"

"Buck?"

"Chris, I didn't do anything."

"I think you two better eat," Sanchez ordered as he watched Vin's face grow even redder. "Need some help there, Brother?" he asked as he lifted the cover off

Larabee's tray.

Larabee looked down at the plate, his cheeks soon glowing in the same shade as Vin Tanner's. He lifted his head and suddenly all the pain and anger left him as he looked at the smile on the other five faces. "Vin?"

"Yeah, Chris?"

"Tell me we're gonna make him pay."

"Oh that's something I'll gladly help you with," Tanner said as he watched the other men try to stop the laughter.

"Oh come on, boys, now you can't tell me you won't enjoy eating that more than the hospital's Jell-O. Took me and JD, Uh uh, JD, don't try to deny it. If I'm in trouble here than so are you. What size would you say they are?" Wilmington asked as he looked down at the shimmering mounds of breast shaped peach Jell-O.

"I'd say about a ten double D, Buck," Sanchez laughed.

"Hmm, JD's the one who put on the nipples. Don't think the kid got as red as Vin though."

"Mr. Larabee is positively glowing as well," Standish observed.

"Is there a problem in here?" A pretty blond nurse asked as she stuck her head in the door.

"N...nothing, Ma'am," Tanner stammered as he tried to cover the plate of breast shaped Jell-O. Sanchez deftly pulled the cover away from his hands and the younger man glared at him.

"Are you sure?" she asked as she walked towards his bed. Her eyes looking from one patient to the other. Maybe I should take both of your temperatures. You kinda look flushed."

"N...no thanks we're fine," Larabee assured her as he placed the cover over his plate.

"Aren't you going to eat, Mr. Larabee?" Standish asked, diverting his eyes as Chris turned his glare on him.

"Shut up, Ez," the injured blond hissed but couldn't rid his face of the smile. ‘God it feels good to actually laugh again,' he thought.

"Give me you arm, Mr. Larabee," the nurse said as she began taking his vitals.

Tanner smiled at his friend as he looked down at his plate. "Ah, Ma'am, there's a problem with Chris's Jell-O. Could you take a look at it?" Tanner asked as he lifted the lid on his own tray and messed up Wilmington's joke.

"Tanner, you've just joined the ranks of the unemployed," Larabee hissed as the young nurse lifted the cover.

"Oh my," the nurse exclaimed as she looked at the cherry topped mounds. "I didn't know the kitchen was so creative," she laughed as she noticed the blonde's cheeks grow even redder.

"I'll get you guys for this," Larabee said as the nurse finished his vitals. She looked at the man in the other bed and smiled as she left the room.

Tanner lifted the juice on his tray and took a long swallow.

Chris breathed a sigh of relief as the nurse left but his head snapped up as the door opened and the young nurse popped her head back in.

"Oh do eat it all, Mr. Larabee, and you too, Mr. Tanner," she said. She looked to the second patient as he choked and juice spilled from his mouth and nose.

"Holy shit, Vin," Wilmington laughed. "Had a shower already this morning."

"Are you alright, Mr. Tanner?" the nurse asked.

"F...fine," the sharpshooter said as his cheeks began to burn again.

"Well, buzz me if you need anything," she said as she left.

"You're a dead man, Buck," Tanner drawled.

"He's not the only one," Larabee grinned cockily at his best friends. "You know I'm gonna pay you all back in triplicate," he told them.

"Now come on, Stud, you know that's the best Jell-O you've ever seen. Why it's a work of art."

"Yeah, Buck, you sure know how to make even Shimmering shit look appetizing," Tanner laughed and once more the room erupted in laughter.

Chapter 98

Chris knew his friend was asleep and wished he could join him. The earlier laughter was forgotten as he struggled to stay awake. He didn't want to return to the nightmares that continued to invade his sleep, leaving him angry and tired once he opened his eyes.

Their friends stuck around through the afternoon and well into the evening, even Orrin Travis showed up for an hour or so before leaving for another meeting. He'd wanted to plead with them all to stay but couldn't make himself do it. He couldn't show them his weakness or his fears. He needed to fight them on his own and beat the demons who'd done this to him.

He felt himself drifting towards sleep but continued to fight it. He'd spent an hour early in the afternoon sitting in a chair and his body was letting him know it wasn't happy about it. He felt the tiny box in his hand but refused to press the button and receive the pain medication. He didn't want to sleep, couldn't sleep or his friends would once more become the enemy, laughing at him as he plummeted to his death.

‘Shit, Larabee get a grip,' he thought as he pressed the button to raise his head. He reached for his watch on the nightstand, surprised to see it was only a little after ten. ‘How the hell are you gonna stay awake when you're already so damned tired," he had to stifle the sarcastic laugh that bubbled in his throat. ‘Can't wake

Vin, he needs his sleep.'

Chris forced his body to an upright position, turning his head slightly to make sure he hadn't woke his friend. He smiled at the pale figure before forcing his way out of bed. Larabee held the bedside stand and stumbled into the high backed chair. He held his breath as waves of pain and dizziness invaded his senses. He held his head as the room spun rapidly. Suppressing the groan as he rubbed the area around the wound in his right thigh. He knew if the nurse found him out of bed he'd be on the receiving end of another lecture but he didn't care anymore.

He sighed as the softness of the chair drew him deeper in its folds, jerking upright as he realized he'd nearly fallen asleep. ‘Damn, this is harder than I thought.

Think about something, Larabee, anything to keep from sleeping,' he thought and turned his mind to the hockey game they'd played just before the world had changed for him.

He rubbed his head just behind the ear where the scar from the game had faded to almost nonexistent. A few members of his team were injured in the game and he'd ended up spending two days in the hospital. Vin had a broken wrist but was able to go home the same day. He smiled as he remembered how proud they were when they told him they'd beaten Morgan's team. A deep sense of pride filled his mind as he slipped deeper into sleep.

Vin opened his eyes unsure what he was hearing. His eyes adjusted to the darkness in the room and he remembered the other occupant of the room. He turned his head, sitting up too fast as he took in the empty bed. "Chris?" he asked as he looked around worriedly. A sickening sense of dread came over him as he heard a low moan from the opposite side of the room. He couldn't see who it was but he knew instinctively it was his missing room mate.

He pressed the button on the side of his bed and quickly dropped the side rail. He slid his legs over the edge and grabbed the IV pole as a wave of nausea threatened to drop him to the floor. He heard the intercom activate and before the nurse could finish asking if something was wrong he told her they needed help. He hurried around the end of Larabee's bed, gasping as he saw the terrified look on the pale face. Chris was huddled in the corner, his knees drawn up and arms wrapped tightly around them. Fresh blood seeped through the bandage on his thigh and Vin worried that he'd done more damage to it.

"Chris," he whispered as he knelt before his trembling friend. He reached out and placed his hand on Larabee's cheek, wiping away the moisture seeping from his eye. He heard the door open behind him but didn't turn to see who it was. "Chris, come on, Pard, its ok. I'm gonna take care of everything," he said as he tried to get through to his friend. He knew Chris was once more lost in the terrifying world created by Gary Wilcox. A world Vin could only hope they could rid him of.

The nurse stood back and watched the scene unfolding before her. She knew both men were close friends and that if anyone could get through to Chris Larabee it was Vin Tanner. She had no idea what she'd see once she stepped into the room but the worry in Tanner's voice conveyed the urgency he felt. She watched as the younger man tried to get through to his friend, talking calmly and quietly, hoping to end whatever nightmare had him in it's grip.

"Chris, it's time to let it go. Time to wake up, Cowboy, and let the nurse look at you," Tanner pleaded as he continued to talk soothingly to his friend. He breathed a sigh of relief when the dull green eye finally focused on him. "That's it, Chris, look at me," he ordered.

"V...Vin," Larabee's voice was edged with pain.

"Yeah, Cowboy, wanna tell me what you're doing on the floor?"

"Floor?" Larabee asked as he looked around. "Don't know. W...was sitting in the chair."

"Why were you sitting in the chair. Chris? You were supposed to be sleeping," Tanner asked.

"Didn't feel like s...sleeping. N...needed to think, Vin. God, I can't go to sleep," Larabee muttered weakly as he dropped his head into his hands.

"Why?" Tanner asked.

"Why, Vin?" the blond head snapped up and he looked straight at his friend. He could feel the now familiar change in his moods, going from sadness to anger at everyone around him. An anger he couldn't control no matter how hard he tried. "Do you really want to know why I don't want to sleep? Do you? Well, hell, Pard, maybe it's got to do with having a sadistic bastard drive nails into my body or...or maybe it's feeling him slicing into me with a fuckin' scalpel. No, wait a minute, that's not it at all. You want to know what the real problem is, Vin. The real problem comes from being told that your best friend is paying him to do this," Larabee tried to stand, staggering as he put his full weight on his right leg. He gasped as he stood to his full height and stumbled into his friend. He cried out as Vin lost his balance and nearly fell.

The nurse reacted instinctively and grabbed for the falling man. She gently grabbed his shoulder until he was able to stand on his own. "Get back into your bed, Mr.

Tanner. I'll look after Mr. Larabee," she ordered.

"Oh, God, Vin, I'm sorry," Larabee said as he leaned heavily against the wall.

"Chris, it's ok," Tanner said as he tried to move towards his friend.

"No. I said get back in bed," she warned as she took his arm and led the younger man to his bed. She pressed the button on the side of Tanner's bed and asked the nurse to send someone in to help her. "Now you stay put," she ordered as she hurried back to the other man. "Why don't you let me get you back into bed, Mr.

Larabee?" she asked.

"I...I can do it m...myself," he said as an orderly entered the room.

"Help me get him back in bed, Harry," the nurse said as the middle aged man came towards them.

"I said I can do it myself," Larabee hissed as he tried to place more weight on his right leg.

"Mr. Larabee, right now you need our help. Your leg is bleeding again and I don't want you using it at all. That means you need help getting to the bed and into it.

Alright?" she asked softly.

"Guess so," he hissed as the orderly took most of his weight.

They settled him on the bed and lifted his legs carefully. The nurse turned on the overhead light and began examining her patient's leg once more. She removed the bloodied bandage and cleaned the wound with Saline. She gently placed a new bandage over it and then looked at her patient's morphine infusion pump and IV line.

"Mr. Larabee," she waited for him to look at her before continuing. "I know you're in pain so why don't you push that little button and let the medication help you?" she asked.

"Makes me sleepy," Larabee answered as he yawned tiredly.

"Your body needs to sleep," she told him.

"But my mind doesn't," he told her as he depressed the button finally giving in to the need for some relief from the constant pain.

"Try to rest, Mr. Larabee," she said as she checked on the second patient.

Chris listened as she changed the bandage on Tanner's back, smiling as she gave him the same speech about taking the pain meds and letting them help. He kept his eye closed as she left the room, sighing deeply as the constant agonizing pain ebbed from his body. "Vin, are you awake?"

"Yes," Tanner answered softly.

"Did I hurt you?"

"Course not, Pard, it'd take more than a little stumble to hurt me. What about you?"

"I'm ok, Vin, at least I think I am. I...I just feel so tired," Larabee told him.

"You should try to sleep."

"Sleep's the last thing I want to do right now."

"I understand, Chris," Tanner assured his friend.

"Do you, Vin?" he asked softly.

"I know what it's like to have nightmares so bad you don't want to close your eyes for fear they'll return. Believe me, Chris, I've been there. I've had to fight my own demons. I'm not saying they were as bad as what you're facing but they were bad enough," Tanner lapsed into silence as he watched his friend on the other bed.

"Do you ever dream about G...Gary and what he was like b...before?"

"A couple of times. He was a good man before Beirut. I didn't think anything could wreck our friendship. Guess I misread him."

"I'm sorry for what he did to your friendship."

"I'm not sorry for what he did to our friendship, Chris. I'm sorry for the way he did it. He used you in the worst possible way. You had nothing to do with Beirut or my promise or his injuries and yet he saw fit to take it all out on you. I'm sorry, Chris, sorry for everything that son of a bitch did to you."

"You've got nothing to apologize for, Vin. You couldn't have known what happened to Wilcox or how it would affect him. He chose to ruin our friendship but he didn't do it," Larabee said as he continued to fight sleep. "He didn't, did he, Vin?"

Tanner heard the little hitch in Larabee's voice and he slid from his bed, heedless of the pain in his lower back. He stepped over to the blonde's bed and grasped his arm in their private grasp of friendship. "No, Cowboy, he didn't and he never will. I'm here, Chris and we're going to fight to get our lives back. Are you willing to fight for that, Cowboy?"

"As long as you're willing to drop the guilt I still see in your eyes we can fight this together. Besides we owe the guys a little payback for the..."

"Shimmering shit breastellos," Tanner deadpanned.

"Oh, shit," Larabee laughed as he watched the younger man fight back his own smile. The two men released the tension in heartfelt laughter until silence once more came over the room. "You'd best get back to bed before the nurse comes back."

"Reckon she'd be angry if I was standing here when she came back in."

"I reckon she would be."

"You gonna be alright, Cowboy?"

"I'll be fine, Vin," Larabee assured him. He watched as Tanner stepped towards his own bed, shaking his head at the telltale slouch of the other man's shoulders.

‘Will you ever get over his betrayal, Vin?' he thought as he turned away from his friend to hide the fact that he wouldn't allow himself to sleep.

Chapter 99

"Hey, Stud, you're looking kinda tired," Wilmington observed as he and JD came into the room.

"Buck, JD," Larabee mumbled as he sat up more in the bed. He'd just finished a gruelling physiotherapy session and his leg, head, and chest were throbbing incessantly.

"Are you alright, Chris?"

"Yeah, Buck, I'm fine. Just a little sore," the blond answered.

"Physio?"

"Yeah. When they say they're going to give you a workout they really mean it. I feel like Pony threw me and then stomped all over me."

"The morphine's not helping, Chris?"

"Sometimes, JD."

"Sometimes meaning when you use it," Wilmington observed.

"Buck."

"You've been through a lot, Pard, and you look like shit."

"Thanks, Buck, you're a true friend."

"You know what I mean, Chris. You're not sleeping are you?"

Larabee's eyebrow rose as he looked at his long time friend. "I'm sleeping just fine, Buck," he lied.

"Are you, Chris. Hell you don't have bags under your eyes anymore you got bloody big suitcases. The big kind you know the ones like Maude Standish brings with her."

"Buck, I'm fine."

"Who're you trying to convince?"

"Look, Buck, why don't you just mind your own business. I said I'm fine and I am."

"Problems, gentlemen?" Carol Locke asked as she stepped into the room.

"Not at all," Larabee told her as he rested his arm over his eyes.

"Sounded like you guys were having a bit of a disagreement."

"No disagreement, Ma'am, just telling Chris he looks like he hasn't slept in ages."

"Buck!"

"Chris?" Locke said softly.

"What?" the blond snapped tiredly.

"I know you haven't been sleeping very well. I've got a meeting with your doctors in about half an hour and I want to know if there's something you'd like me to tell them."

"Tell them to let me go home. Tired of being in here."

"I'll mention it. But I don't think it'll happen for at least a week. Dr. Silverman wants you to stay off that leg as much as possible. That means no more getting up in the middle of the night to sit in a chair."

"Look, Carol, I'll sleep a lot better at home in my own bed."

"Hi, Vin," Dunne said as the door opened and the other occupant of the room came inside.

"JD, Buck," he said and noticed the tense shoulders on the ladies man. "Carol, is something wrong?" he asked.

Carol Locke looked at her second patient a frown on her face. "Nothing a little sleep wouldn't cure," she told him.

Vin looked at the man on the bed. "You finally tell them you're not sleeping, Cowboy?" he asked hopefully.

"Never said I wasn't sleeping," Larabee hissed through a yawn.

"You sound tired, Chris," Dunne said.

Larabee dropped his legs over the edge of the bed, sitting up to quickly and gasping in pain as he did, "I told all of you I'm fine. Just leave me alone and I'll sleep when I'm ready," he hissed as he climbed to his feet. He groaned as he put weight on his right leg and would have fallen if not for the quick hands of Buck

Wilmington. "T...thanks," he hissed.

"Chris, you do realize if you cause any damage to that leg you'll be prolonging your stay?" Locke asked as Wilmington settled him back on the bed.

"Oh, great," Larabee hissed as he laid back against the pillows, regretting the move instantly as his sleep deprived body and mind told him he wouldn't be awake much longer. "Dammit," he swore as his eyes slid shut and he was instantly asleep.

"I think he's asleep," Dunne whispered as he noticed the pale face relax as his breathing evened out.

"Bout time," Wilmington hissed softly.

"He won't sleep long," Tanner observed as he moved to his own bed.

"What do you mean?" Dunne asked.

"He's been waking up within an hour or so of falling asleep. Look, guys, he's having nightmares about what they did to him."

"He needs to..."

"Talk about the nightmares," Tanner finished before Locke could. "We just can't force him to do it. I know Chris well enough to know he'll never open up unless it's something he wants to do."

"You're a smart man, Vin," Locke smiled at the sharpshooter. "I'll talk to his doctors about getting him something to help him sleep."

"Just make sure they leave it up to Chris whether or not he takes it," Wilmington told her.

Carol Locke smiled at Larabee's three friends. They knew him so well and knew more about him than anyone else. She'd already planned on giving her patient the option of whether or not he'd take the sleeping pills. "I will, Buck," she assured him. "Let him sleep," she ordered as she left the room.

Vin sat on the edge of his bed and kept his eyes on the face of his friend. He groaned as he moved further up in the bed and laid back against the pillows.

"You all right, Vin?" Wilmington asked.

"I'm fine, Buck," he grinned sheepishly as the ladies man cocked an eyebrow.

"Sure you are," Buck grinned back.

"Just a little tired and sore," Tanner admitted.

"Why don't you go to sleep?"

"I think I will, Buck," the younger man said as he shifted on the bed, pulling the blanket up over himself and closing his eyes. He felt the drag of sleep and knew he'd soon be joining his friend in the nightmare world they both resided in.

"We'll be back in a couple of hours, Vin. You two get some sleep," Wilmington ordered as he pulled JD out of the room.

"Thanks, Boys," Tanner mumbled through a yawn.

Chapter 100

He was running, from what or who he had no idea but he knew he needed to escape. The warehouse was locked up tight and there were no doors or windows. It didn't matter what he did he always ended up in front of the chair holding the dead body of his best friend. A body emaciated and tortured to the point where it was barely recognizable as Chris Larabee. ‘Why? Godammit, why didn't you kill me, Wilcox? I'm the one who broke my promise. Why the fuck did you have to make Chris pay the price?' he screamed as he continued to search for a way out. A way to get free of the image ingrained in his mind. The image of his betrayal of the one man whose friendship he valued above all else.

He heard a sound and turned to the body in the chair. The arms and legs so thin and bloodless. The green eyes dark and dead as he stared. ‘I'm sorry,

Chris,' he sobbed as the corpse began pulling it's hands out of the manacles. He groaned as he heard the sickening sound of flesh being torn as what was left of Chris Larabee pulled his ruined hands from the nails embedded in then.

‘You did this to me!' the broken mouth gasped as it moved towards him.

‘No! It wasn't me, Chris. It wasn't.'

‘You killed me. You paid them to do this to me!' the corpse hissed as it closed the distance between itself and the younger man. ‘I'm dead because you broke your promise,' the blond head snarled. ‘All because you wanted me dead!'

‘No! Jesus, Chris, I didn't,' he cried out as the cold hand, dripping with blood reached up and touched his face. ‘No!'

"No! Jesus, Chris, no!"

Larabee sat up in bed at the terrifying scream from the next bed. "Vin," he hissed as he dropped his legs over the side of the bed, ignoring the fire igniting in his thigh.

He gasped as the IV line pulled tight. He swung his legs back over the other side of the bed and grasped the IV pole. Leaning heavily against it he limped to his friends side. He knew by the painful cries and the lines etched in the younger man's face that he was in the throes of a nightmare. From the sounds he was making

Larabee knew it was one that could rival his own for terror and pain. "Vin, it's ok," he said. "It's just a dream," Larabee tried to wake the younger man. "Come on,

Vin, wake up."

He didn't hear the door open or notice Susan James standing at the entrance to the room. His eyes and ears were focused on helping the younger man. Susan kept the door open slightly, knowing this could be the one thing that would make both her patients come to terms with the nightmares they both shared.

"Vin!" Larabee's voice rose an octave as he tried to get through to his friend.

The voice so close to him penetrated the wall he'd built around himself in order to escape the macabre sight of his dead friend. His eye snapped open and landed on the pale face of the blond. At first the image of the corpse followed him from the nightmare but he was soon able to focus on his friend. "C...Chris," he stammered as he sat up to quickly, causing a small spasm to erupt in his back.

"Some nightmare, Pard," Larabee stated.

"You're telling me," Tanner grinned weakly as he sat up in the bed.

Larabee sat beside his friend and stared at the pale face. "Want to talk about it?" he asked.

"I'll make a deal with you, Cowboy, you tell me about yours and I'll tell you about mine," Tanner suggested.

Larabee turned away and gazed out the window, "I'm not having any nightmares, Vin," he lied.

"Guess that makes two of us," Tanner observed.

Larabee turned back to his friend, breathing deeply. His eyes filled with moisture as he met the blue eyes of the one man who knew just how much this nightmare of reality and dreams affected him. Lowering his eyes to the floor he began speaking softly. "The dreams are bad, Vin."

"I know they are, Chris, but it'll do no good to keep them bottled up inside," he said as he waited for his friend to continue.

"Seems like every time I close my eyes W...Whelan's there. I can still feel the nails entering my hands, V...Vin," Larabee muttered as he turned from the face of his friend.

Vin Tanner remained quiet, knowing his friend needed to get everything out in his own way.

"I...I couldn't do anything to stop him," Larabee massaged his hands not realizing he was pressing against the nearly healed puncture wounds. "H...he told me exactly what he was going to do before he did it. I...I didn't think I'd ever see any of you guys again. I pleaded, Vin, I begged that son of a bitch to stop but he just laughed.

His voice was cold a...and I could sense the evil inside him."

Tanner watched the emotions coming over the blonde's face as he swallowed his pride and talked about his fears.

"He didn't want me dead, Vin, he wanted me alive and awake to feel everything he did to me. The bamboo s...shoots were the worst, Vin. H...have you ever had a...anyone use them o...on y...you?" he asked and saw his friends head shake ever so slightly. "It's like nothing you ever felt before and he'd make sure I knew what was coming," Larabee's voice rose steadily as he talked of the pain and the fears he'd been exposed to. "Jesus, Vin, how can anybody do that to another human being? I...I know Gary Wilcox paid h...him to do it but he didn't tell W...Whelan what to do. The sick bastard t...taunted me with the videos too. I knew he was going to send them to you and I tried not to make a sound, b...but...I'm s...sorry, I j...just couldn't s...stop myself..."

"Chris, it's alright. No one could've gone through what you did and not make a sound," Tanner assured him.

"Vin, I've been shot, stabbed, beaten, hell you name it and I've been through it but this was different. This was one man t...torturing....Oh, God, Vin he t...tortured me. He took everything from me. He took my dignity, my sense of being me. He took Sarah and Adam's memory and used it against me. He took you from me. He took everything I care about and twisted it in order to t...torture me. Oh, Jesus, it was worse than any nightmare because this one I can't fucking wake up from.

Asleep or awake it's the same fucking thing! How can I get past it all, like Susan says when it's constantly on my mind? It keeps being repeated and everything reminds me of it. Reminds me that I'll never have my life back," Larabee placed his hands over his eyes and fought back the emotions that threatened to boil over.

"You know, Vin, I'm not sure if it's what Whelan did to me physically that's the problem," Chris whispered as he turned back to his friend.

"What do you mean?"

Larabee tried to stand but sat back when he realized his leg wasn't going to hold up under the strain. He rubbed his tired eyes and looked down at a small spot on the floor, "I've been through the physical wounds and been able to come out of it the same man I always was but this time it's more like a f...feeling of being helpless.

Of not being able to do something I know I should be able to do yet being afraid to face it. I can't look at myself in the mirror, Vin, without being reminded of what he said and what he did. I mean I'm supposed to be this big macho leader of The Firm but I turn into a coward when faced with a little pain. I should be able to put this behind me and get on with my life. But I can't! I can't fucking sleep because I know I'm going to relive every single thing he did to me. That makes me a coward!"

"Chris, you're not a coward. You're just not used to feeling helpless. What Whelan did to you is enough to break any man. Don't you understand that? You've been put through hell not once, not twice but three times. No wonder you feel helpless, Cowboy. Anyone would when the world they thought was safe and secure is turned into a waking nightmare by a man who gets his jollies from physical and mental torture. Most men would have lost their sanity by now, Pard, but not you.

You've proven time and again how strong you are."

Larabee shook his head as he turned to his friend. "Strong, Vin? I don't think so. I...I think Whelan managed to do what he wanted even though he died in the warehouse. He took everything from me."

"No, Cowboy, he didn't. He didn't take me or Buck or any of the others. We're still here and between us we'll all come through this better men. Oh, I'm sure it's not gonna end overnight but we can fight for it. We're stronger when we fight for something together. We keep each other honest, Pard, we keep each other sane."

Tanner wrapped his arm around his friend and pulled him close. It was a gesture neither man would usually make but the experience they'd recently shared made it seem necessary. The slight trembling in the lean body made him realize just how deeply his friend was affected by their talk. "Hey, Cowboy, maybe things'll get easier now that you've talked it over," he muttered quietly.

"I...I hope so, Vin," Larabee's voice was soft as he pulled away from his friend. His slouched shoulders showing just how much their talk affected him. Breathing deeply and unable to handle the throbbing pain in his leg and ribs any longer, he pressed the button on the morphine infusion pump. He turned and met the blue eyes of the younger man and saw the unshed moisture reflected in them as well. He smiled weakly, "Guess it's your turn."

"I'm ok, Chris."

"We had a deal, Tanner, don't try to back out of it now," Larabee angrily grated out.

‘Way to go, Chris,' Susan James thought as she heard Larabee's voice telling Tanner it was his turn. ‘Make him open up and just maybe you two will get your lives back,' she thought.

Vin Tanner knew he'd have to keep this deal. He slowly turned away from his friend so he could see the blue sky outside the window. Taking a deep breath he began speaking softly. "I keep thinking of the man Gary was. The friendship we had before Beirut. We were close, Chris, not as close as you and me but we were close. We did so many things together and I thought we knew each other. I thought he was someone I could respect for the rest of my life. Guess that shows you what a bad judge of character I was. The son of a bitch turned out to be a demon from hell. Jesus, he paid someone to do t...this to you. Paid him to make you suffer even though he didn't know you. He took all his anger for me out on you."

"Wasn't your fault, Vin. Gary let his anger fester until it changed him You said he was a totally different man when you knew him before. Maybe that's something that'll help us get past all this," Larabee mused.

"What?"

‘Say it, Chris,' James thought as she realized the blond had hit upon something that could help them both.

"I don't want to turn into a bitter man because of this. I don't want to let it build up inside me till it tears me apart," Larabee whispered.

"Me either, Cowboy, but I can't get past what they did to you," Tanner snapped. "I see it every time I close my eyes. It's like watching that damned video tape over and over until it becomes a part of every living moment. Its not a movie anymore and I can't get the picture of you in that fuckin' chair out of my mind, Chris! I see it every time I close my eyes. I see it every time I look at..."

"Me?" Larabee asked.

"Yeah," Tanner snapped as he turned back to his friend, regretting the sharp tone immediately. "Sorry."

"Don't be, Vin. I understand how it must've felt," Larabee's words were soft and filled with despair. He swallowed with some difficulty as he once more met the blue eyes. "I think part of the problem is we both had something ripped from us. You lost a friend not once but twice. I mean you lived through G...Gary's death just after

Beirut with his friendship and memory intact. Now you've got to deal with the new memories and how much he changed."

"I can deal with that, Chris, what I can't deal with is how much he hurt you," Tanner hissed sharply.

"Vin, the worst part of what he did to me is wondering if I'll ever feel safe again. I mean I've dealt with Sarah and Adam's death. It was hard but I got past it and a lot of that was due to your being there. He tried to take that security from me. He tried to make it so I wouldn't be able to look at you without thinking of what happened. But it's not going to work. I c...can't let it work. I c...can't lose the most important thing in my life since Sarah and Adam and that's what I think you are.

You're my brother, Vin. Our lives have become so intertwined and I don't think anything or anyone will be able to break that bond," Larabee stared at his friend, each man knowing what those words meant. It was time to get past what Wilcox, Whelan, and Sharpe did to them. Time to show how true friendship could stand up to anything that was thrown at it.

"I'm sorry, Chris," Tanner broke the silence, his soft drawl cutting through whatever remained to be said.

"Told you it wasn't your fault, Pard. It's time we both remembered we are the victim's in this. Time to take back our lives," Larabee yawned as he looked at his bed.

"Tired, Chris?" Tanner asked.

"Yeah, I am, Cowboy," Larabee groaned as he slid off the bed. "I feel like I could sleep for a week," he hissed as he put more weight on his right leg and headed for his own bed. "I must be getting old," he said as he slid into his own bed.

"Not old, Cowboy," Tanner said as he lay back on his own bed. ‘Maybe now we can both get the sleep we need,' he thought as he closed his eyes.

"Vin?"

"Yeah, Chris?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"For listening. For understanding. For being a man I'm proud to call friend. Promise me we'll always be able to get past anything life throws our way."

"Ah, hell, Chris, I promise, because that's what friends are for," Tanner smiled as he realized how much those words meant to him. His friendship with Chris Larabee had survived and prospered even after the blows it was dealt. Now the real healing could begin and their lives, although changed, would continue with a stronger bond between them. A bond of trust and shared promises. He slowly let himself relax as he sank towards a healing sleep. "Good night, Cowboy," he laughed as he heard Larabee's barely audible reply.

"Did you just call me a Cowboy?"

Susan James stood outside the door. She knew there was still a ways to go for the members of The Firm but a major step was just taken by the two men who needed the most healing. She moved away from the room and headed for her meeting with their doctors. Glad that she'd have a little good news to share with them.

Chapter 101

"It's ok, Vin, get out of here."

"Chris?"

"Look, Vin, stop worrying. I'll be out of here in a few more days. Go home, you'll sleep better in your own bed."

"I think this has got to be a first," Jackson laughed.

"What?" Wilmington asked.

"Vin Tanner arguing about being released from the hospital."

"Nathan," Tanner hissed from behind the curtain. "It's not that I don't want to leave."

"It's that you don't want to leave while Chris is still in here," Wilmington smiled at his oldest friend as he watched the shadowy form behind the curtain pull on his shirt.

"Well..."

"I'll trade places with you, Vin. You can be damned sure I'd have been out of here the minute the papers were signed," Larabee grinned as the younger man pulled back the curtain separating the two beds.

"You wouldn't?" the sharpshooter asked.

"Trust me, Vin, as tired as I am of being in here I'd have been running down the stairs in an effort to escape."

"Damn, that's mean," Tanner told him.

"Not mean just honest. You can't tell me you're not tired of being in here."

"I am tired of it."

"Then go home and rest."

"You're still planning on staying at my place for a couple of weeks, right?"

"There doesn't seem to be much choice about that either. It seems that you and I have a brood of mother hens hell bent on making sure we don't do anything we're not supposed to."

"Jesus, Chris, that's enough to put anyone in a foul mood."

Wilmington winced and shook his head at the younger man. "Ah, hell, Tanner, that joke's as bad as the ones JD tells."

"Get him out of here, Buck, before he tells anymore."

"Let's go, Vin."

Tanner and Larabee locked forearms, the younger man being extra careful of the still healing wounds. "I'll be back this evening."

"No, Vin, stay home and rest," Larabee ordered. "I'll still be here tomorrow."

Tanner nodded to his friend and turned towards the nurse pushing a wheelchair. "I can walk."

"Why is it you two can't just get in instead of always saying I can walk?" Jackson asked.

"Have to keep you on your toes, Nate. Besides if we didn't you'd think something was wrong for sure."

"That's true, Vin," Wilmington said as he watched the younger man sit stiffly in the chair. A quick nod to the blond and the two men left the room.

Larabee's eyes followed the trio out the door.

"You alright, Chris?"

Larabee smiled at the medic, a relieved smile that told the other man he was alright, not completely alright but he was healing and would soon have his life back. "I'm better than I've been in a helluva long time, Nate."

Jackson returned the smile, relishing in the once more self assured look on the blond's face. "You know, Chris, I believe you are."

Chapter 102

Vin Tanner wasn't sure what to think. He knew once he got to his ranch there were some memories he'd have to face and he wondered if he would be able to get past them. Each time he thought about the once safe environment he'd see Whelan reach out for Chris's right hand, he'd hear the crack as the bone in the blond's wrist was snapped like a twig. He'd see the look of helplessness as the blond was cuffed and removed from the dining room.

Buck glanced towards the younger man as they drove away from the city and out into the country landscape. He knew Vin and Chris had more healing to do and both men would have a difficult time facing Tanner's ranch. The nightmare had started in Vin's home and to bring them back here was pure torture for him. But this was what Chris and Vin both wanted. They wanted to face the horrors of the past weeks from the beginning and this was where it all started.

Tanner kept his eyes closed as Buck drove out of the city. Wilmington was usually a very talkative man but he knew Vin didn't feel up to fielding his questions right now. He didn't know how long they'd been driving when something told him to open his eyes. He knew they were still a good fifteen minute drive from his home but something in the field ahead of him caught his eye. "Intertwined."

"What?"

"Oh, sorry, Buck, stop the car."

"What? Why?" Wilmington asked.

"Just stop, Buck, before it's too late."

Wilmington pulled onto the shoulder of the road and watched as the younger man hurried to open his door. "Vin, what the hell are you doing?"

"I have to stop him, Buck," Tanner called over his shoulder.

"Stop who you stubborn fool?" Wilmington shouted as he jumped from his car and followed the running man. "Vin, slow down before you hurt yourself."

"He's going to kill it, Buck, I can't let him do that. Please, stop! Wait!"

Wilmington saw where Vin was headed and a smile formed on his face in spite of his worry for the younger man. Leave it to Vin Tanner to protect even this deformed sapling from the hands of the axe man.

Buck watched as the young man stepped up to the grizzled old man. He stood back to see what Tanner had in mind.

"What can I do for you, Son?"

Tanner looked at the sapling, its once split trunk now grown back together until they'd become intertwined. He wasn't one to believe in fate but for him this tree had been shown to him for a reason. He thought about his conversation a few days before and Chris explaining to him how their lives had become intertwined. The tiny tree before him was a symbol of the deep bond he shared with Chris Larabee. A bond that withstood a test that nearly separated them for good. The tree was given the same test and somehow it also beat the odds and grew stronger for it.

"Something I can do for you?" the friendly voice asked again.

Tanner shook his head and glanced towards the old man. "This may sound strange, Mister, but I saw you getting ready to chop down this tree."

"That's right, Son, for some reason the missus doesn't like it. Says it doesn't look good out here all alone."

"C...can you wait until this evening?"

"What for?" the old man asked suspiciously, his eyes narrowing as he glanced from Vin to Buck.

"A friend of mine has been ill..."

"You don't look too well yourself."

"He just got out of the hospital today," Wilmington offered.

"Ah, that explains it. A bit touched is he?"

"Not that type of hospital," Buck smiled as he joined the two men. "Him and another mutual friend were hurt pretty bad by a..."

"Buck, I can speak for myself. Look, Mister?"

"Barker. Frederick Barker. Folks round here just call me Fred."

"Fred, my name's Vin Tanner and I own a place down the road a few miles. I'd like to dig up this tree and take it back to my place. You're just gonna chop it down, right?" Tanner asked.

"That was the plan but if you want to dig it up I guess it'll be ok."

"Thank you," Tanner reached out and shook the other man's hand.

Wilmington was very pleased to see a real smile on the younger man's pale face as they said goodbye and headed for his car. Some of the sadness seemed to have melted away and Buck knew the real healing was about to begin with the planting of a tree. He knew in his heart that was what Vin planned to do. The young man had a poet's heart and that's what came shining through his blue eyes as soon as Barker agreed to wait for them to come back for the sapling. "Where do you plan on planting it, Vin?"

Tanner smiled as he slid into the passenger seat. "Figure I'll plant it on the property line between my place and Chris's."

"A symbol of friendship?"

Tanner nodded and placed his head against the window. ‘A strong symbol,' he thought with a grin.

Chapter 103

Chris knew it was late, Jackson and Sanchez left hours before and he was still sitting in the chair by the window. The IV still fed into his forearm but they'd replaced the morphine with Tylenol number threes at his request. He hated the feeling caused by the heavier drugs.

His eyes were drawn to the park across the street and he shivered as he remembered the day he'd looked down to see Tony Sharpe holding the nail gun. He closed his eyes and relived the night he'd been forced to watch Vin Tanner die. The feeling of emptiness as he felt the body slide from his arms caused another shudder to rip through his body. He was so engrossed in his memories he didn't hear the door open.

"Chris, are you alright?"

The blond couldn't believe how startled he was by the softly spoken words. Couldn't believe the person was able to sneak up on him after everything that happened.

"I'm fine, Callie," he assured her, hiding the fact that she'd startled him.

"Do you want some help getting back in bed?"

Larabee smiled at the young nurse who'd almost lost her life at the hands of Tony Sharpe. "Is it that late?" he asked, wincing as he shifted his leg.

"It's eleven fifteen, Chris."

"I guess I lost track of time."

"I guess you did," she laughed as she helped him stand up.

He used the IV pole to lean on and made his way back to the bed and sat on the edge, rubbing the area on his thigh just above the surgical incision. He was finally being allowed to move around on it a little but still had to take things slow.

"Chris, I'll get your pain medication and be right back."

He smiled at her retreating form knowing he really did need the pills tonight. His body still ached from the wounds as well as the physiotherapy they were putting him through. He looked up as the young nurse entered carrying a small paper cup with two pills inside.

"Here you are," she said as she placed them in his hand.

He smiled as his left hand held the tiny cup, pleased that something so simple as opening and closing his hand was easily accomplished once more. He lifted the cup to his mouth and took the glass of water from the nurse. "Thanks," he hissed as he slid back on the bed, lifting his legs as he did so.

Callie reached for the covers and lifted them over the lean form. "Goodnight, Chris," she whispered as she turned out the light.

"Night, Callie, and thanks," Larabee snuggled under the blanket and waited for sleep to take him back into the nightmare world he still visited in his dreams. ‘It's over, Larabee, just let the damned things go,' he thought as he turned on his side.

He awoke sweating and confused. He sat up on the edge of the bed and looked around the room. Shaking his head he tried to clear the cobwebs clouding it. He tried to remember the dream he'd been lost in before the quiet safety was replaced by the distinct sound of a gunshot.

‘Vin,' he thought as he turned to find his friend. His heart skipped a beat as he noticed the empty bed. His mind cleared from the dregs of sleep and he remembered

Buck had taken the younger man home earlier in the day.

He reached for his watch on the bedside table and noted it was a little past two in the morning. He slid from the bed and walked to the chair by the window, shivering as he thought about the last few weeks and how glad he'd be to get back to his ranch and the horses. He gazed down at the park, his eyes opening wide as he noticed a figure standing in the shadows as if he were hiding from someone. He held his breath and waited to see what the figure would do.

‘Get a grip, Larabee,' he thought as the figure moved into the light, searching through the garbage cans. ‘It's just some poor soul down on his luck,' he cried out as the figure pulled something from the garbage can and turned to face him. Tony Sharpe's features stood out clearly in the bright light, his eyes glowing white, his mouth turned up in an evil laugh as he held the head of Vin Tanner high above him.

"No! You son of a bitch," Larabee screamed and bolted upright in bed, his body shaking as he realized he'd been dreaming. He turned to the bed across from him knowing the younger man wouldn't be there. His body trembled as he slid his feet to the floor, grabbed onto the IV pole and swayed drunkenly towards the bathroom. He turned on the cold water and splashed his face. "Jesus, you look like hell," he hissed as he looked in the mirror. They'd removed the pad covering his eye earlier in the day but they were still putting antibiotic drops into it.

Chris moved away from the mirror and out of the washroom. He looked at his bed knowing he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. His eyes turned to the chair by the window and he swallowed painfully as he remembered the vivid nightmare he'd just been through.

"I need to get out of here," he said aloud. Turning to the closet he pulled out his dark clothing and limped to his bed. He looked down at his left forearm and began removing the tape when the door opened and a flashlight beam illuminated the room. He shielded his eyes from the glaring brightness. "Turn that damned thing off will you?"

"Are you planning on going somewhere, Chris?"

"I need to get out of here, Callie," Larabee snapped at the young nurse.

"It's three fifteen in the morning, Chris. Do you mind telling me where you plan on going?"

"Home," he whispered as he dropped his arm and sighed heavily.

Callie came into the room, turned on the light over his table and sat beside him on the bed. "Look at me Chris."

Larabee lifted his face to look at the young nurse. He saw the fading bruise on her cheek and reached out to touch it. "Are you alright?" he asked softly.

"I'm fine, Chris, it doesn't even hurt anymore," she assured him.

"I'm glad," he said as he closed his eyes.

"You look so tired, Chris. Why don't you get back in the bed and I'll hang these back in the closet."

"No, Callie, I'm leaving," Larabee took the clothes from her and stood up. "Would you mind leaving so I can get dressed?"

"Chris, you can't just up and leave."

"Watch me," he said, a little anger entering his voice.

"Can't you at least wait till the doctors come in?" she asked.

"No, I'm tired of being here!" he snapped and immediately regretted his tone. This young woman had been through enough already and he didn't need to take his frustrations out on her. "Look, Callie, I'm sorry. I just can't stay here anymore."

"Can you at least wait until I get your papers ready to sign? I'll be in trouble if I don't have something saying you signed yourself out."

"Alright," Larabee agreed as he sat back on the bed.

"I'll be right back," she said as she hurried from the room. ‘Who do I call?' she thought.

"Something wrong, Callie?"

"Yes, Cindy, Chris wants to leave."

"Now?"

Callie nodded as she picked up the phone. She looked at his chart and dialed Nathan Jackson's home number. He didn't live far from the hospital and could be there within fifteen minutes. It was up to her to stall her patient that long.

Chris groaned as his head began to pound. He knew he needed sleep but he didn't want to do that here. He wanted to be home, away from the place that held so many bad memories for him.

He looked at his clothing and wondered where he'd find the strength to pull them on. Angered by the weakness of his own body he threw the clothing across the room and gasped as his healing ribs reminded him they were still there. "Shit," he hissed as he lay back on the bed and closed his eyes.

Nathan Jackson opened the door to his friend's room and was surprised to see the blond lying back on the bed. At first glance he thought Larabee was sleeping and was surprised when he actually sat up holding his head. "Chris?"

Larabee dropped his hands and turned to the medic. "What the hell are you doing here, Nathan?"

"Callie called me. She said some hard case was hell bent on leaving the hospital tonight," Jackson said as he walked towards the bed.

"Figures. I should've known she'd call one of you guys."

"It's a damned good thing she did, Chris."

"You're not stopping me, Nathan. I'm getting out of here as soon as she brings me the papers to sign," Larabee stood up and swayed on his feet.

"I wouldn't think of it, Chris. All I have to do is follow you around until you pass out and bring you back here. I don't think it'll take that long either. I think you'd probably pass out before we even got out the main doors. Then I'll get a gurney and we'll bring you back up here. Of course then they'll probably have to fix the wound in your thigh again and that would probably tack a few more days onto your stay."

"Nathan!" the blond hissed as he held tightly to the IV pole.

"What?"

Larabee felt his legs begin to tremble as he looked sheepishly at the medic before sitting back on the bed. "I hate it when you're right," he said as his friend helped him lie back on the bed.

"Chris, you just have to let yourself heal. You won't be in here much longer and then we'll all be able to celebrate. Maybe have a big Barbecue at your place."

"Vin owes me a nice juicy steak," Larabee mumbled tiredly.

"Then we'll have it at Vin's, maybe get some salads, a few beers, dessert."

"Just as long as Buck doesn't bring the dessert. I don't think I can handle anymore of those breastellos of his."

"I'll bring dessert, Chris."

"Chocolate cheesecake from that little bakery downtown?"

"Chocolate cheesecake it is. Now you go to sleep and don't worry about anything."

"Buck get Vin settled ok?"

Jackson smiled as he remembered the conversation he'd had with the ladies man. He'd listened intently as Buck told him about the little sapling and how he'd helped

Vin dig it up and plant it in it's new home.

"Nathan?"

"Vin's fine. Buck's staying with him. Now go to sleep. I'll be here if you need anything," Jackson assured the blond as he moved to sit in the chair.

"Nathan."

"Yes, Chris."

"You don't need to stay. I won't do anything stupid."

"It's ok, Chris. I don't mind staying with you."

"Is everything alright in here?"

Jackson smiled as the young nurse poked her head in the door. "Everything's fine, Callie. Chris has decided he's better off here for a few more days anyway."

"That's great," Callie's voice sounded relieved. "Chris you just call me if you need anything."

"I will," he assured her.

Chris listened to the quiet snores from the man sitting by the window and wished he could do the same. Sleep was something eluding him once again no matter how hard he tried. He watched as Callie entered his room and changed the IV over his head.

The young nurse smiled at him as she checked his vitals. "Are you having trouble sleeping, Chris?" she asked softly, hoping not to wake the other man.

Larabee nodded as he rubbed his eyes.

"Dr. Midland has ordered a sleeping pill for you if you need it."

"No thanks, Callie."

"Chris, it'll help you sleep and you'll feel much better."

"Listen to her, Chris. You really do need to rest."

"I thought you were asleep, Nate."

"I was," Jackson said as he joined Callie by the blonde's side. "Why don't you take the sleeping pill and get some rest?"

Alright," Larabee relented as he realized he really did need to sleep.

Callie left the room and returned a minute later with the sleeping pill. "Here you go."

Larabee took the pill and turned to the medic. "Nathan, go home."

"Are you sure, Chris?"

"I'm sure," Larabee said as he pulled the blanket up over his body.

"Alright, but you don't go doing anything foolish."

"He won't Mr. Jackson. That pill should work pretty fast."

Larabee listened to the two people talking softly but soon found he was having trouble following the conversation. "Go h...home, Nate," he mumbled as sleep finally took him.

Chapter 104

*************

Larabee gazed out the window, his eyes raking over the tree lined road. He'd been released from the hospital that morning and Jackson and Sanchez were driving him to Vin's ranch.

He'd felt like a kid at Christmas when the nurse wheeled him to the front lobby and he'd stood on his own two feet. As he walked through the door he relished his newfound freedom and let the bright afternoon sun bathe him in it's warm rays. He opened his eyes and smiled at the two men who'd come to take him home. "God, it's good to be outta there," he grinned as he limped towards The Firm's club van.

"I bet it is, Brother," Sanchez laughed as he opened the passenger door and helped the blond inside.

"Hey, Brother, are you still with us?" Sanchez asked as he looked into the rear view mirror.

Larabee smiled but didn't take his eyes off the scenery. "I'm still here, Josiah, just can't believe I'm outta there."

"Chris, you do realize you're not gonna be going back to work for a while yet."

"So I've been told," Larabee grinned cockily as he turned from the window and eyed the medic. "Didn't I agree to stay at Vin's ranch for a week?"

"Yeah, well, it was either that or we'd have to figure out a way to do two shifts and work at the same time," Sanchez laughed, pleased to see Larabee's cocky grin back where it belonged, even if he still seemed too pale.

"Here we are," Jackson said as they turned down the long driveway leading to Tanner's home.

Vin sat on the high back lounge chair watching the club van as it turned into his driveway. He'd seen Chris the day before but the excitement of having him out of the hospital showed on his handsome face. He knew they both had a ways too go before they'd be returning to work but at least they were both out of the hospital. He stood up and walked towards the van as Sanchez pulled to a stop.

"Hey, Cowboy," Tanner greeted the blond. "You're lookin' better."

"Thanks, I think," Larabee laughed as he climbed down from the high step.

"Why don't you two go on in the house and we'll bring Chris's stuff," Jackson offered.

Jackson and Sanchez watched the two friends as they walked towards the ranch house. Both men were put through hell over the past weeks and at times it seemed like neither one of them would be returning to the homes and life they loved. Now as they walked side by side it seemed that miracles could happen and these two men were once again receiving the miracle of life.

"Looks like things are gonna be just fine," Sanchez declared as he reached for Larabee's bag.

"I think you're right, Josiah," Jackson agreed as he took out the medical supplies he'd been given by the hospital.

Larabee stepped through the door and into the small foyer. He turned towards the kitchen just as Wilmington came out.

"Hey, Stud, how're you feeling?" the ladies man asked as he wrapped him in a fierce hug.

"He'd probably be better if you'd let him breathe," Jackson said as he came into the room.

"Watch the ribs, Buck," the blond smiled as he felt the strong arms release him.

"Oh, sorry, Chris, almost forgot. Did I hurt you?"

"No Buck, I'm fine," Larabee assured him.

"I got lunch all ready for you guys. Hope you're all hungry."

"Please tell me you didn't cook," Larabee groaned.

"Ah, Chris, ya sure know how to hurt a guy. No, I didn't cook. Ezra and JD did. I just set the table."

"Where are Ezra and JD?" Larabee asked.

"Right here, Mr. Larabee."

"Hey, Chris, welcome home," Dunne grinned at his mentor as he moved into the room.

Chris turned to the open glass doors and smiled at the two agents standing there, "Thanks, Boys, it's good to be home."

"Lunch is set up in the dining room," Standish said as he led the way.

Seven men headed towards the dining room, each one feeling as if they'd been made whole again as their leader and their sharpshooter were returned to their midst once more.

Larabee tensed as he stood in the doorway leading to the dining room. He closed his eyes as waves of dizziness assaulted him. His throat tightened up and it was suddenly hard to draw a breath as everything seemed to disappear and he returned to the last night he'd been in this room.

Chris could hear the others calling to him but he couldn't shake the vivid memories of seeing Vin Tanner held at gunpoint by a masked man. He shook all over as he heard the voice of his nightmares. The voice that promised to make him suffer because of another man's vengeance.

"Chris!" Tanner exclaimed as he noticed the color drain from his friend's face.

"Easy, Brother," Sanchez said as he reached for the shaking form. "I got you."

"Bring him out here," Jackson ordered as he led the way back to the living room.

"No!" Larabee's voice was weak as he tried to control the panic threatening to overwhelm him.

"Chris, it's ok. We'll have lunch in the backyard," Wilmington suggested.

"No, d...dammit," the blond stammered. "I have to face this! I have to know Whelan doesn't own me. This is where it all started," he hissed as he strode purposefully into the room. "And this is where it's gonna end."

"I'm with you, Chris," Tanner stepped up beside his friend and the two men faced their demons together, aware that five men were there to lend their support should either of them fall.

It seemed to take forever but they were finally seated at the dining room table. Chris fought to get his rebelling stomach under control as he helped himself to the feast laid out before him.

Larabee eyed the man sitting across from him. The man he considered a brother in every sense of the word. He could see the worry in the younger man's eyes and mouthed. ‘I'm fine, Pard.'

‘I know,' Tanner smiled back at him as they settled back into their lives.

Chapter 105

"He's out by his little tree..." Buck answered the silent, sleepy face that wandered into Vin's homey kitchen. He hid his smile behind the newspaper. Dream dust still rested on the blonde's handsome face and his hair was sticking up all over his head. The rogue didn't miss the fact that Chris's eyes roamed over the empty room, before they were completely open. He watched the weary body move to the window and gaze upon the land before him.

"What tree?" Chris rasped, cocking his head curiously as Buck Wilmington chuckled and a warmth flooded over his features.

"Well," Buck sighed, tossing the paper down and rising to get more coffee. "The day I brought him home from the hospital, we were just down the road a piece. He spotted some fella about to take a little sapling down. " Buck laughed again and handed Chris a cup of hot coffee. "He barely waited for me to stop the car...he rushed over to the guy...Hell, for a minute I thought he was gonna throw himself in front of the axe..." He paused as Chris's soft chuckle filled the room. "So he adopted it...planted it on the border between your spreads. He headed out before sunrise, I was just getting up." He turned back as the toaster ejected his bagel and heard clothing rustling. "Yo Stud," he chortled, raising an eyebrow. "He ain't goin' anywhere...it's not like you can miss him...he's got on that damn oversized red flannel shirt...You're eating breakfast and uh...you need to do something with that hair, you're gonna scare off the wildlife."

"Huh?" Chris wrinkled his nose and made his way to the reflective side of the toaster.

"Did you use a rake to comb that head?" Buck laughed, pouring pancake batter onto a hot griddle. The sausages were already done and the juice was on the table.

'Oh..." Chris chuckled, "Guess a shower wouldn't hurt..."

"Now there's a novel thought!" Buck grinned.

Larabee turned from the ladies man and headed for the shower. His body felt stiff and out of joint this morning. He'd slept through the night without a nightmare and knew he was taking back what belonged to him, his friends, his home, his family.

"Make sure you come back here before you head out to the tree, Stud. Nathan'll kill me if I don't make sure you eat and take your pills."

"Alright, Buck," Larabee said as he headed for the bathroom.

Larabee stood in the open field, his green eyes on the familiar figure seated on the ground. He drank in the form, knowing how close he'd come to losing him and the others. He groaned as he placed a little to much weight on his right leg.

"Hey Cowboy," Vin smiled warmly, from where he sat cross legged on the ground next to a little tree.

"Hey yourself," Chris ambled over and grimaced at the bright shirt. "Nice shirt..."

"Snob!" Vin tossed back, gathering up the papers next to him.

"Looks like you've been busy."

"I had a lot on my mind," Vin returned, "I couldn't sleep...been thinkin' about my road.. most of my life I travelled alone...the road was always long, dark most of the time, lonely," he paused and felt Chris slide down next to him and felt warmer. "But the road ain't dark no more Chris...not since you walked by my side...called me brother..." He caught the emotional light playing in the green eyes and smiled. "I put some words down...like to hear it?"

"Of course I would," Larabee answered, a lump already forming in his throat.

"Good, cause I don't know what Id'a done if you'd said no," Vin sighed in relief and with trembling hands and a slight tremor in his voice, he began to read, his lilting voice a soothing balm on Larabee's soul as the words spilled from his mouth.

"I walked alone on dark paths unknown,
through the trails of this life, with no hand to hold.
I stumbled and fell, as the burden too strong,
caused my heart to ache and my soul to grow cold.

Then the road broadened and the sun led the way,
A lusty river called my name and hearty wind kissed my face.
I inhaled the sweet air, my eyes full of wonder,
My spirit soared like the eagle, bursting with grace.

Into the special place, I now know as home,
You walked by my side, restoring my soul.
The ease of the gifts of which you bestowed,
Caused a strength to surge through me, filling the hole.

The strong open hand, showering peace in my heart,
The green light of faith, so clear and so true.
Guided by trust, and a deep caring flow,
Shone from your eyes, giving me hope anew.

What I offer seems pale in return,
A vow that blood couldn't make stronger.
It's given with newfound pride and honor,
You are forever my brother, I am alone no longer."

Larabee let the tears fall from his eyes, not caring that he was showing a part of himself he seldom bared. The words spoken in friendship meant more to him than he could explain. He lifted his hand and placed it on the younger man's shoulder. He swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to speak. His voice filled with the emotion the powerful words evoked. "Vin, so long as I live I'll never forget those words. I...I don't know how to tell you how much it means to have you consider me not just a friend but a brother."

"You just did, Cowboy," Tanner's own eyes were filled with moisture as he looked at the blond. The face was still gaunt and pale, dark circles still surrounded the green eyes but there was a zest for life in the eyes again.

Larabee smiled as he reached out to touch the little tree. "So where did this guy come from?" he asked as he stood up and circled the twisted sapling.

"Down the road a piece," Tanner couldn't meet the blonde's eyes. "It kinda reminded me of something you said."

"About our lives being intertwined?"

"Yeah."

"Vin, I promise you no matter what life throws our way I'll always be there to watch your back."

"Me too, Cowboy," the sharpshooter vowed.

"Can I keep the poem, Vin?"

Tanner handed the folded paper to his friend. "I wrote the damn thing for you so I guess that makes it your property."

Larabee smiled as he tucked the paper into his pocket. "Why don't we head back before Buck sends out a search party."

"Why would he do that? You did tell him where you were going didn't you?"

Larabee grinned cockily, "Not exactly. He was cooking something and if I'd gone back in there I would've had to eat it. I figure this way it'll be cold by the time we get back and maybe we won't have to eat it."

"He's gonna be pissed at you."

"Probably," Larabee laughed.

"You know, Chris, we still owe him."

"I know and I think I've come up with the perfect plan. Want to hear about it?"

"What do you think, Cowboy?" Tanner grinned conspiratorially as the two men made their way back to the ranch.

Both men were smiling as they walked towards the house. "That's pure evil, Chris."

"Does that mean you're gonna help me?"

"Try to keep me out of it, Pard," Tanner laughed as he opened the door to his house and cringed as the ladies man came towards them.

"Bout time you two got back here," Wilmington snapped. "Breakfast's been ready for an hour now and I was just about to throw the whole thing out."

"Is that supposed to be a bad thing?" Tanner asked.

"Well now there's gratitude for you. Man comes out here and stays with his two friends, cooks for them, makes sure they take their pills. That reminds me. Here

Chris."

Larabee looked at the pills Wilmington held out to him. "I don't need the Tylenol, Buck."

"I don't believe you, Chris. I saw your face when you walked across the yard. That legs bothering you and you know it."

Larabee took the Tylenol and the Zoloft and chased them down with water. "Satisfied?"

"For now. Alright you two. Go on out to the backyard and I'll bring your breakfast out there."

An hour later the three men sat in companionable silence, each one lost in his own thoughts of promises made, promises kept, and promises broken.

Chapter 106

"Well?"

Larabee grinned at the younger man as he walked into the back yard. The limp was less noticeable but the thigh still pained him when he stayed on his feet too long.

His hands were nearly back to normal and his ribs were not bothering him as much as they did a week before. He'd been out of the hospital two weeks now and the plans for revenge on Buck Wilmington were about to be put into effect.

"Chris?"

"That was Jake. He's arranged a table for us at Buck's place."

"I can't believe there's a bar in Billings named Buck's place and he's never forced us to go there with him."

"I know. I guess he doesn't even know about it."

"Know about what?"

"Hi, Buck." Tanner smiled as the moustached man joined them.

"Don't hi me, Vin Tanner. Know about what?"

"Ah, hell, Buck, we're just working on a little thank you for you," Larabee smiled innocently.

"For me? What for, Chris?" Wilmington asked, a hint of humor in his eyes.

"We figure we owe ya for staying with us," Tanner grinned as he thought of the night ahead of them.

"Well what is it?" the ladies man asked excitedly.

"Ah, now, Buck, you know we can't tell you that. Let's just say we're going out on the town tonight," Larabee told him. "Our treat."

"Really?"

"Really! The guys are gonna meet us there."

"Meet us where?"

"You'll see," Tanner had to turn his face away as his eyes met Larabee's. The two men were having a hard time hiding the secret they shared.

"Buck, have you got a change of clothes here."

"Chris, I've been staying here for over two weeks."

"Let me rephrase that. Have you got a clean change of clothes here," Larabee laughed as the moustached man glared at him. "I'm kidding, Buck, thought you had a sense of humor."

"I do," Wilmington assured his friend. "Do we dress casual or is this something fancy?"

"Casual, jeans and shirt," Tanner answered.

"So what time do we leave?"

"Seven o'clock. Our reservation is for eight," Larabee answered.

"I'll be ready. Thanks, guys, but you really don't have to do this," Wilmington smiled as he went back into the house.

"Shit, Chris, did he seem just a bit too grateful."

Larabee stared after the ladies man his resolve weakening as he watched the retreating form. "Dammit, Vin, we owe him."

"I know, but he seems so happy."

"Are you saying we should cancel tonight?"

"I...I..."

"Chris, Vin, lunch is ready."

"Lunch?"

"I guess he brought something back with him," Larabee said.

"Good, at least it'll be edible."

The two men walked into the dining room and sat at the table. A covered plate was set before them as Buck Wilmington smiled at his two friends.

Larabee lifted the cover off his plate and his face turned white, a frontal view of a woman's torso stared up at him. "Buck!"

"What's wrong, Chris?"

"Where? How? Buck?" Larabee blushed as the younger man lifted the cover from his own plate.

"Oh, Jesus, Wilmington, where the hell do you get this stuff?" Tanner looked down at his plate, unsure exactly what he was seeing. Somehow the ladies man had found a place that could form almost anything into the female body and what was before him had to be a woman's rear end.

Larabee looked at the younger man, not surprised to see his cheeks were beet red and from the feel of his face his was the same way. "What is this, Buck?"

"It's pate' and you have to eat it all."

"But..."

"Yeah, there's Butts and breasts and hips," Wilmington laughed as he left the dining room.

Larabee looked down at the x-rated lunch plate. "You were saying."

"I was saying revenge will be sweet," he lifted his glass and clinked it with Larabee's. "To tonight," he grinned.

"Tonight!" Larabee grinned back.

"Hey, how'd you guys find this place?" Wilmington asked as they stepped out of his car.

"Jake told me about it," Larabee answered.

"Imagine a bar with my own name over the door and I didn't know it was here."

"Well lets just hope the interior is cleaner than the inside of your apartment."

"You wound me, Vin, I cleaned last month."

"Sure you did, Buck. What room or closet did you sweep all the dirt into this time?"

"Not you too, Stud. Shoot can't a man live in squalor if he wants to."

"Sure, Pard," Tanner answered as he opened the door leading into the bar.

Larabee smiled as they entered the western style bar. The atmosphere was relaxed and the music just loud enough to dance to. He smiled as he heard the sound of

Garth Brooks singing I got Friends In Low places. He spotted Ezra Standish coming towards them and ushered Wilmington ahead of him. The three men followed

Standish to a table close to the dance floor and the bar.

"Hi, Chris, Vin, Buck," JD Dunne called excitedly as they took seats at the large table.

"Glad to see you guys made it," Jackson grinned. "How're you two doing?"

"Fine, Nate," Larabee and Tanner answered in unison.

"So who's buying?" Wilmington asked.

"The first rounds on me," Taylor offered

Chris stood up and shook hands with the older man. "It seems to me I offered to buy you the first round."

"Alright, Son, if you insist."

"I do and I will if I can get the waitresses attention. Which one's ours?"

"The feisty red head with the big bazookas," Taylor grinned at the blond. "I'll go get her."

"That's alright I'll do it," Larabee grinned at the older man.

"Ah, hell, Stud, you need to rest. Why don't you sit down and let ol' Buck get her for you?"

‘Just like clockwork,' Larabee thought as his eyes met the blue eyes of the sharpshooter. They turned their attentions to the dark haired ladies man as he sauntered up to the bar.

"Hi," Wilmington said as he stood toe to toe with the buxom red head.

"What can I do for you, handsome?" she asked.

"Well now, Ma'am, my buddies and I would love a round of drinks."

"Is that all," she asked as her long lashes fluttered closed over dazzling hazel eyes.

"For now," Wilmington smiled, his eyes wondering from her face to her ample chest. "Maybe you could join us later?"

"I get off in twenty minutes. Would it be ok if I joined you?"

"Would it?" Wilmington grinned lustily. "I'm sure the others wouldn't mind if you joined us. What's your name darlin'?"

"My name is Vanessa but my friends call me Venus," she purred through ruby red lips.

"Venus, as in Goddess of love?"

"That's right. What's your name?"

"B...Buck," he stammered as the hazel eyes melted his heart.

"I'll be right over to get your order," she told him as she turned back to the bar, giving him a view of perfectly shaped buns and long slender legs.

‘Damn, she's got it all,' he thought as he backed up towards his table.

"Hey, Buck, is she coming to get our order?" Dunne asked as the ladies man sank into his chair.

"She'll be right over. You know she's got a perfectly shaped a... rear end."

"I take it she's enthralled you with her many assets, Mr. Wilmington?"

"You could say that, Ez," Wilmington felt the hairs on the nape of his neck rise as he saw the look exchanged between Larabee and Tanner. He watched the beautiful redhead walked towards him and something about the way she walked made him even more suspicious. ‘Alright, you two, what's going on here?' he thought as he turned his attention back to the woman. As her eyes met his her tongue flicked out and moistened her bright lips, the gesture was supposed to be sexy but

Wilmington suddenly found it reminded him of something an old friend once did. ‘Frank,' he thought as he noticed the similar shape. The gesture was something the officer who worked for the vice squad used on him many times and the ladies man knew he was the butt of a joke being played by the two men he called his closest friends.

Buck's instincts kicked in as he watched the waitress stop to take orders from a noisy table near the bar.

"Buck, what's wrong?" Larabee asked innocently. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Not a ghost, Chris," Wilmington laughed. "How much is it costing you to have Frank Thompson do his impersonation?"

"Frank who?" Tanner asked.

"Frank Thompson. Oh, you wouldn't know him, Vin. He's an old friend who worked for the vice squad. He used to dress in drag all the time."

"I haven't seen Frank in years, Buck."

The ladies man laughed as he watched the woman come closer to him. "We'll just see about that," he grinned.

"Buck, what are you going to do?" Larabee asked.

"I'm just going to play a little joke of my own," Buck assured him as the woman came closer to him. "Hey, Venus, why don't you and me just cut to the chase and go to my place now."

The table erupted in laughter as a hand connected with Wilmington's cheek and his head snapped back. "How dare you," the red head gasped.

"Looks like your losing your touch, Bucklin," Tanner laughed.

"Ah come on, Venus, you know you want to as much as I do." Again Wilmington's head snapped back with the force of the slap. "Jesus, Frank, give it up," he swore as he rubbed his burning cheeks.

"You animal," the redhead cried as she turned away from the table. "Tony, this guy's being a real jerk."

Buck watched as a gorilla like man strode towards the table. "Alright, Chris. You and Vin can call off your little revenge now."

"Ah, Buck, this wasn't part of our revenge," Larabee said seriously.

"What?"

"Not a joke. We did have one planned but this is even better. She's a beaut, Buck, and you screwed it up," Tanner laughed as the rest of the group sat back and enjoyed the ride.

"What did you say to the lady?" the large bouncer asked.

"Ah, hell," Wilmington swore as he turned to face the large man. "It was all a mistake."

"Mistake?"

"Yes, a mistake. Look tell her to come over and I'll apologise, ok?"

"I don't know if she wants to come over."

"Shit, look, I thought my buddies were trying to get a little revenge on me but it turns out I was wrong. Just ask her to come back over."

"Revenge? Hmm, I've had a few people do that to me too. I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks, buddy," Wilmington said gratefully.

"It looks like you messed up, Brother," Sanchez grinned at the ladies man.

"Yeah, Buck, she seemed to like you too," Jackson said.

"I don't know about you guys but I need a drink," Larabee signaled for one of the other waitresses and smiled as the woman walked towards them. They placed their orders and sat back to wait for them.

"Don't look now, Mr. Wilmington but the lady is coming this way," Standish observed.

Buck stood up and turned to face the red head, missing the smile that passed between Larabee and Tanner. "Look, Venus, I'm sorry," he apologized softly. "I thought you were someone my friends put up to this. I know that's not an excuse but it's the truth. I thought you were a...a..."

"A what," she pouted as she glared at him.

"A man," Larabee answered for him.

"What?"

"Thanks a lot, Stud," Wilmington hissed as he looked back at the blond.

"Just trying to help, Buck," Larabee laughed as the drinks were delivered to the table.

"I don't need your kind of help. Look, Venus, what can I do to make it up to you?"

"Well..."

"What?"

"I don't know if I can trust you."

"Just give me a chance, Venus. You'll see I can be a real gentleman," he glared at the table as he heard gasping coughs from his friends. Beer spilled from Dunne's mouth as he tried to breath.

"You've already hurt me, Buck," she whimpered.

"Look I really am sorry. Can I buy you a drink?"

"I g...guess so," she said softly as the ladies man reached out and took her right hand.

"Do you think your boss would mind if you finished a couple of minutes early?"

"He saw how upset I was and told me to take the rest of the night off."

"He's all heart," Wilmington said as he noted she only had five minutes left to her shift.

"Would you like to dance?"

"I'd love to," the ladies man grinned at the table as he took the red head's arm and led her to the dance floor.

"Got ya!" Larabee exclaimed as he looked across at Tanner.

"Pure evil, Chris," Tanner said as the two men high fived across the table.

"What's going on?" Dunne asked.

"Sit back and enjoy the show, Boys," Larabee grinned as the lady in red blared from the speakers.

Buck wrapped his arms around the beautiful redhead and led her through the paces of the slow waltz. His eyes bulged as her hands began to massage his butt and he couldn't resist smiling at her. He felt her nibble at his ears and knew he was in for a long night. "Oh, Venus, honey, don't do this to me," he said as he felt a familiar stirring in his groin.

"Don't do what?"

Wilmington gasped as the deep male voice sounded in his ears. He pulled away from his dance partner as the last note of the song sounded.

"What's wrong, Buck?" she asked softly.

"Wrong? Ah, nothing's wrong. I thought I heard something."

"Like what?"

Wilmington shook his head once more as she took his hand in hers. "I d...don't know."

"Why don't we join your friends?" she asked, a smile on her face as she used her normal voice once more.

"F...Frank?"

"Ah, Buck, ya found me out. Does this mean we don't go back to your place."

"Son of a Bitch!" Wilmington shouted as he turned back to his table. "Chris, I'll get you and Vin back for this," he said as the light came up and his face glowed red in the spotlight.

"Give me a kiss for old times sake will you, Buck?"

"Go to hell, Frank," the ladies man snapped as he walked back to the table.

"Got ya, Bucklin," Tanner grinned.

"Fuck you, Vin! You too, Larabee," Wilmington shook his head as he waited for the heat to leave his face.

"Hi, Chris, it's good to see you again," the red head said

"Buck, you want to introduce us to your lady friend?" Jackson asked, trying his best to keep the smirk off his face.

"Yeah, Buck, who is she?"

"Frank Thompson," Wilmington told them. "I knew it and I damned sure shouldn't have fallen for that little slapping scene. Damn, Larabee, I owe you big time."

"I don't think so, Buck. Consider it payback for the shimmering shit breastellos and the female pate'," Larabee laughed. "Do you have time for a drink, Frank?"

"I wish I could, Chris, but I'm due at the station in twenty minutes," Thompson said as he turned to the ladies man. "Thanks for the dance, Buck, haven't been that close to anyone in ages. Let me know when you want a repeat performance."

Buck tried to glare at his old friend but was unable to hold it as his eyes caught sight of his friend's smiling faces. "Ah, what the hell," he said as he stood up and placed a kiss on the ruby red lips.

Frank Thompson could only laugh as the dark haired ladies man released him. "Jesus, Buck, people will talk," he laughed.

"That never stopped you before," Wilmington grinned as he sat back in his chair and watched the redheaded vice officer walk away.

"No hard feelings, Buck?" Larabee asked.

Wilmington smiled at the sharpshooter and turned his gaze on the blond. "No hard feelings, Chris. You know I'm always one for a good practical joke. But you guys better watch your backs."

"Buck, I do believe there should be a truce called right now," Sanchez said. "I really don't want an all out practical joke war."

"Tell you what, Bucklin, why don't I buy you a beer, then Chris can buy you one and then you can buy both of us one."

"Now that sounds like an offer you can't refuse, Buck," JD said as he finished the last of his beer.

"Only one problem I can see."

"What's that, Buck?" Larabee asked.

"Who's gonna drive you two home if we all drink?"

"Since I have the club van I can drop you all off. Consider me the designated driver tonight," Sanchez grinned at the group before him. He was glad to see them all together again.

"Well, gentlemen, I have to work tomorrow morning so I'll bid you all goodnight. Chris, I still owe you a drink."

"Next time, Jake," Larabee told his friend.

"You got it. Buck, watch those ladies," he grinned as he hurried away from the seven friends, smiling as their laughter followed him out the door.

Chapter 107

"Chris, how are you doing?" Susan James asked as the blond walked into her office. The ordeal was two months behind them now and she'd talked to each man individually and alone. This was to be her last session with The Firm's leader and she wanted to make sure he was alright. She'd stopped the Zoloft over a month ago and he seemed to be doing fine without it.

"Better than I've been in a long time, Susan," Larabee answered as he sat in the chair across from her desk.

"Would you like a coffee?"

"No thanks," Larabee answered.

"Are you going back to work today?"

The blond grinned as he thought of the office. "Yeah, I'm due there in an hour."

"How are the nightmares?"

"Not so bad now. I'm dealing with them as they happen. I know Whelan, Wilcox, and Sharpe are all dead and I just have to remind myself of that every time they appear in my dreams," he looked at the doctor and smiled. "Thanks to all the help I've been given those dreams are few and far between now."

"Are they still as intense as they were?"

Larabee swallowed as he stood up and walked to the window. "Sometimes," he answered softly. "I know what happened to me and Vin has changed both of us but

I think it's finally in the past where it belongs. I've taken control of my life back, Susan, and I'm stronger for it. I wouldn't have been able to do that without your help. Talking about things has really shown me I can deal with anything life throws my way. Of course it helps when I've got six men I'm proud to call friends there to catch me when I stumble and fall."

"Yes it does, Chris, and I'm sure they feel the same way. I can see you've come a long way and I don't think we need to schedule any more sessions. You do know you can call me any time you feel the need to talk."

"Thanks, Susan, I may take you up on it. I'd better be going. It doesn't look good for the boss to be late his first day back to work."

Susan James smiled as the blond left the office. She looked down at the file on her desk and let a smile broaden on her face. ‘Welcome back, Chris,' she thought as she closed the cover.

Chris walked out of the elevator, a smile on his handsome face as he walked towards the offices of The Firm. He tried the door and found it locked. He looked at his watch and grinned. ‘Guys are still at lunch,' he thought as he used his key to open the door.

He stepped into the cool interior and leaned heavily against the door as it closed behind him. ‘God, it's good to be back,' he thought as he strode towards his office.

He couldn't help feeling a little disappointed that no one was there to welcome him back. ‘Ah, hell, Larabee, get a grip! It's not as if they haven't seen you every day since you got out of the hospital,' he laughed as he opened his office door and slipped inside. He left the door open and walked to his desk. It was clean and he sat back in his chair a smile broadening on his face as he felt the familiar comfort.

He reached forward and opened the top drawer, jumping back as a spring loaded sign jumped out at him. "Shit," he gasped as he read the note. A smile once more adorning his handsome face as he read the simple words. "Welcome back, Cowboy." He pulled the note away from the drawer and looked up to see six men smiling back at him. "Thanks, Boys," he said, fighting to keep his emotions in check.

"Hey, Stud, welcome back," Wilmington grinned as his emotions nearly overwhelmed him.

"Yeah, Chris, we've missed you," Dunne assured him.

"The place just wasn't the same without you, Brother," Sanchez exclaimed.

"I'll gladly relinquish control of The Firm back to your capable hands, Mr. Larabee," Standish smiled as Wilmington slapped his shoulder.

"It's good to have you back with us, Chris," Jackson placed two boxes of donuts on the desk.

"It's good to see you back where you belong, Cowboy," Tanner said as he placed a tray of coffees on the table.

"It's good to be home again," Larabee smiled at his friends and reached for a donut as his men closed ranks protectively around their leader.

END