MAN:
You sure I can't interest you in a Smith and Lancelet watch? We make the best.
CHRIS:
I got no use for a timepiece.
JESSIE:
Your room is ready now, Mr. Larabee. You passing through Jericho on business?
CHRIS:
Yeah. My own.
MAN:
Perhaps there's someone special-- a friend, family member? You could give a gift.
CHRIS:
I said no, mister.
MAN:
I didn't mean to offend. Uh, please, let me, uh, buy you another drink. I truly am sorry.
SHERIFF:
Sir... you're under arrest on suspicion of armed robbery.
MAN:
This must be a joke.
SHERIFF:
You robbed a bank in Landen last week. I got the poster right here.
MAN:
I've never even been to Landen.
DEPUTY:
Tell it to the judge.
CHRIS:
I just spent three days in Landen. I didn't hear about a robbery.
SHERIFF:
Are you a lawman?
CHRIS:
No.
SHERIFF:
Maybe you're just one of those who likes to cause trouble. I'd keep my mouth shut if I were you, Mister.
MAN:
Poster don't look anything like me, please.
SHERIFF:
You keep your...
CHRIS:
Leave him alone.
SHERIFF:
You're interfering with an officer of the law. I'm an officer of the law!
DEPUTY:
Hey, hold on! Stop or I'll shoot.
CHRIS:
You don't shoot nobody in the back.
SHERIFF:
We'll let him tell it to the judge.
DEPUTY:
This court is now in session. All rise. Get up.
SHERIFF:
Mr. Larabee, you have legal counsel?
DEPUTY:
Yes, sir, he does. You are charged with aiding and abetting the escape of a known felon and resisting arrest.
CHRIS:
He was no felon.
SHERIFF:
Counselor, would you advise your client to hold his tongue.
DEPUTY:
Shut up, fool.
SHERIFF:
Now... I could postpone this trial for a month if you could post the bail of $500. Do you have that money?
DEPUTY:
No bail, your honor.
SHERIFF:
Ah, well, then the trial will begin immediately. How do you plead?
CHRIS:
You go to hell.
DEPUTY:
He pleads guilty, your honor.
SHERIFF:
By the authority granted to me, I sentence you to five years hard labor with no parole.
GUARD:
Open the gate. Get in there, I said.
WAGON DRIVER:
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
GUARD:
Come on out of there. Come on!
GUARD:
Shut the gate! Get the gate closed! We got a runner!
CHRIS:
Hyah!
GUARD:
Shut the gate!
CHRIS:
Hyah!
GUARD:
Don't let him get out! Get up there! Come on! Come here! Where you think you're going? You made a big mistake, boy. Get back. Get on back, now.
WARDEN:
Congratulations. You just bought yourself four days in the hole for attempted escape.
GUARD:
Here's his papers, warden.
WARDEN:
Whatever your name was out there... you can forget it. From now on, you'll be referred to as Inmate 78. I give a full bowl for a full day's roll. Do the work, never back sass a guard and do not fight with other inmates. Any violation of these rules results in
time in the hole.
CHRIS:
I want to get a letter out.
WARDEN:
What did you just say?
CHRIS:
I want to get...
WARDEN:
When you address me or any guard in this camp You use the proper appellation-- "sir."
CHRIS:
Proper what?
WARDEN:
You got an attitude problem, mister. That's already bought you four days in the hole. Now, do we have an understanding or would you like to try for eight?
CHRIS:
Man like you is easy to understand... sir.
WARDEN:
Eight days in the hole.
GUARD:
Come on, you. Let's go. Come on.
JD:
Your sense of humor's about as good as your last hand, Buck. Let's see, uh, a three-legged dog walks into a saloon, right? And walks right up to the bartender and he says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."( laughing ) Oh, come on.
NATHAN:
It ain't funny.
JD:
You don't get it, the dog has got three paws...
NATHAN:
I do get it; it ain't funny.
BUCK:
JD, you couldn't tell a joke if your life depended on it.
JD:
What are you talking about Buck? That's a funny joke, and I told it great. You just don't get it...Mrs. Travis
BUCK:
Did you laugh? I didn't laugh. Oh, hey there, Mrs. Travis. Would you care to, uh, to join
us?
MARY:
I was just wondering if you'd heard anything from Mr. Larabee.
BUCK:
Not yet, ma'am.
MARY:
Well, shouldn't we be concerned? He said he'd be gone three days at the most. It's been
ten.
BUCK:
Look, don't worry about Chris, okay? I know him, and, uh, he just likes to cut loose every once in a while, you know, unwind.
JD:
Ten days is a bit longer than usual, though, right?
BUCK:
Well, we can't all go riding out every time somebody decides to have a little fun. You'd be looking for me half the time if that were the case.
NATHAN:
Yeah but it do seem kind of strange we ain't heard from him yet.
BUCK:
He's just blowing off steam in some little brothel... ...some little hotel right now.
MARY:
How reassuring.
BUCK:
Believe you me, wherever old Chris is I tell you right now, he's having a real good time.
PHILIPS:
Let's go, 78.
WARDEN:
We still got a problem, Inmate 78?
CHRIS:
No, sir.
WARDEN:
Put him to work, Mr. Philips.
PHILIPS:
Let's go.
COOK:
Don't I know you? You were some kind of lawman maybe?
CHRIS:
No.
COOK:
Yeah, I know you from somewheres. Something tells me I don't like you.
PHILIPS:
Stop jawing down there.
COOK:
( spits ) Enjoy.
CODGER:
You're new here, ain't you? You going to eat that? Uh-oh. Nice knowing you.
GAGE LAWLESS:
We're the Lawless brothers. You remember us?
CHRIS:
No.
GAGE LAWLESS:
No? Then you remember our cousin maybe, Jackie Pinder? Shot him dead in dodge city?
CHRIS:
He gave me no choice.
GAGE LAWLESS:
He was 18, a stupid hothead. You were much better. You could have winged him. But you didn't. You shot him right through the heart. You're gonna pay. Get up.
CHRIS:
He wasn't trying to wing me.
GAGE LAWLESS:
That ain't the point.
CHRIS:
I don't want any trouble.
INMATE:
Fight!
CHRIS:
Come on! Come on!
GUARD:
Let him go. You dogs! What are you, biting on each other?! Come on, move! Get over here! Both of you, get over here! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Come on! Get up! Get up!
DOC SIMMONS:
Hold still, doggone it. You're messing with my aim. Whoa Hell, no. This here's medicinal. Keeps my hands steady. You know it takes a pretty special man to get hisself thrown in the hole five minutes after he come in here.
CHRIS:
Yeah? I don't feel so special.
DOC SIMMONS:
( chuckling ) No, I don't reckon you do. Reckon you didn't pay the bail neither 'cause if you paid the bail, you wouldn't be here. Sheriff Quince and the Warden got a nice little racket going here. Sheriff picks out someone he thinks has some money accuses him of some crime. Then the Sheriff contacts the man's family. Hell, half the men in this camp are waiting for their families to raise that bail money.
CHRIS:
Yeah? And the other half?
DOC SIMMONS:
Murderers cutthroats, thieves. They make this camp a little harder on the innocent man. But I figure you already know that.
CHRIS:
What happened to him?
DOC SIMMONS:
This place happened to him.
CHRIS:
( screams )
EZRA:
Any word, Miss Travis?
MARY:
I just got this telegraph back from Landen. The livery said Chris boarded his horse there but he left town two weeks ago.
VIN:
How many towns between here and Landen?
NATHAN:
Four. He could have stopped by any one of them.
VIN:
Guess we'll find out.
WARDEN:
Inmate 78! You've got a visitor.
SHERIFF:
Inmate 78, I'm here to offer you the possibility of a retrial. It seems that some of the facts in your case could be reexamined. Now, all I need is for your family to post the $500 bail. Boy, I'd hate to see you at Christmas.
WARDEN:
Perhaps Inmate 78 misunderstands. We're offering you...
CHRIS:
I know what you're offering.
SHERIFF:
Oh, good. That's good that you know, because that will give you more reason to cooperate. See, we're the only hope you got of ever getting out of here.
CHRIS:
You don't want my money.
WARDEN:
We don't? Why is that?
CHRIS:
Because, if I get out of here... I'll come back... and I'll take you both down.
DEPUTY:
Can I help you gentlemen?
VIN:
We're looking for a friend.
DEPUTY:
Well, he must be a very valuable friend if a whole posse has to look for him.
JOSIAH:
Name's Chris Larabee. You, uh... you seen or heard of him?
DEPUTY:
Chris... Chris Larabee. He wouldn't be that egg-sucking, horse-thieving gutter trash from up Fort Laramie way, now, would he?
VIN:
Easy, Buck. No, sir. Wrong man.
JOSIAH:
Jericho, huh? Don't look like no promised land to me.
VIN:
Probably another dead end.
BUCK:
Maybe not.
EZRA:
What, in heaven's name, would induce anyone to stay here?
BUCK:
You don't know Chris.
JESSIE:
I'm open seven days a week, sir.
JOSIAH:
Even the Lord rested on the seventh day, ma'am.
JESSIE:
Well, the Lord wasn't running a boarding house.
JOSIAH:
I always figured that's what heaven was.
JESSIE:
( laughing ) Oh... you a preacher, by any chance?
JOSIAH:
Used to be. Used to be. Now, I'm just a man on a mission. In fact if you're here every day like you say maybe you can help us, Missus...
JESSIE:
Oh, call me Jessie.
JOSIAH:
Josiah. This here's Vin Tanner. And, uh... we're looking for a wandering friend.
VIN:
Name's Chris Larabee.
JESSIE:
I'm sorry. I don't recollect anybody by that name staying here.
VIN:
May have come through Sunday before last. Light hair, dressed in black.
JESSIE:
Doesn't sound familiar. But then, the Lord blessed me with many things. A good memory wasn't one of them. Oh, looks like your friends are going dry over there. Excuse me.
JD:
So the three-legged dog walks right into the saloon. He walks right up to the bartender... he says... "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." "My paw"... three-legged dog...
EZRA:
You might want to work on your repertoire, son.
JD:
What are you talking about?
NATHAN AND BUCK:
Told you.
inmate78/Djdjoke.wav
SHERIFF:
You know, I'm not sure I like all these new guns rolling through my town without so much as an introduction.
VIN:
Well, there ain't no time like the present, sheriff.
SHERIFF:
I'd like to know your business here if you don't mind.
JESSIE:
Well, this is Mr. Vin Tanner, Sheriff. He and his friends are looking for a man named Chris Larabee. They think he may have passed through here.
SHERIFF:
I don't recall any Chris Larabee but I'll be sure to keep my eye out for him. Now, you fellas plan on staying in Jericho I'm afraid I'm going to have to collect those guns.
BUCK:
( snickering )
SHERIFF:
Something funny there partner?
VIN:
Thank you, ma'am.
NATHAN:
Ma'am.
VIN:
We'll be moving on soon as we get some supplies, Sheriff.
JESSIE:
They could be trouble, Quince.
SHERIFF:
Nah. Don't worry, ma. I can handle them.
COOK:
Move on. Stop your bellyaching. Oh, you again, huh?
CHRIS:
You spit that out, I'll spill your guts. I guess you didn't hear me. Enjoy.
WARDEN:
I will not allow you men to slack off from work. Inmate 46, here has been hiding in the infirmary taking it easy. We'll have no more of that.
INMATE:
Leave him alone!
WARDEN:
Who said that? Stick! Get up, you lazy dog! I said get up!
CHRIS:
Get off him!
WARDEN:
You know what the penalty is for striking a prison official? Step aside, Inmate 78.
CHRIS:
( groans )
PHILIPS:
Just step aside, Inmate 78.
CHRIS:
( grunting )
GAGE LAWLESS:
He's going to get hisself killed.
CHRIS:
( groans )
WARDEN:
You're crazy, boy. I can do this all day, Inmate 78.
( Chris groaning )
PHILIPS:
Stay down, man.
WARDEN:
You ain't going to make it, boy.
CHRIS:
( gasping )
( clanging ) ( pounding ) ( clanging )
GAGE LAWLESS:
Come on, get up.
( clanging stops )
CHRIS:
Just leave him alone. Sir.
WARDEN:
Take Inmate 46 back to the infirmary... Mr. Philips!
PHILIPS:
Hold this.
WARDEN:
Go on get yourself fixed up, as well, 78. I got plans for you.
GUARD:
Come on, 78. Let's move it, here.
WARDEN:
Get back to work.
DOC SIMMONS:
This is getting to be a bad habit with you. Hold that.
CHRIS:
How's he?
DOC SIMMONS:
He's doing fine. I remember when Quince first brought him in here. One tough hombre. Wouldn't take no guff off the warden or the guards and everybody liked him. Even the real felons. Some inmate thought he was a Texas ranger coming in here searching for the missing. Some thought he was an Indian tracker. Whatever he was, he was strong and proud and stubborn. Kind of like you.
BUCK:
Some salt, sugar...
NATHAN:
This is one hell of a store, mister. A complete medical kit.
EZRA:
And some very fine haberdashery, I might add.
NATHAN:
Say, Buck...
BUCK:
Yeah?
NATHAN:
That look familiar?
BUCK:
Come over here. I said come over here!
STOREKEEPER:
Yes, sir.
BUCK:
Show me that gun. Show me the gun now!
STOREKEEPER:
Let's... where is that key?
BUCK:
I got the keys. That's Chris'.
NATHAN:
Yup.
EZRA:
Just a moment of your time, sir.
BUCK:
Come here! Tell me how you came by that gun.
STOREKEEPER:
( mumbling )
BUCK:
Answer me!
JESSIE:
Mr. Tanner? What...? What do you want?
VIN:
Me and the boys just want to ask you a few more questions about our friend.
JOSIAH:
No need to be frightened, ma'am.
JESSIE:
Like I said, I didn't see him.
VIN:
Well, we just found his gun for sale in your local store.
JESSIE:
That has nothing to do with me. Maybe your friend sold his gun.
JOSIAH:
Ma'am, the store owner said you sold it to him.
JESSIE:
He's wrong. It's not true.
BUCK:
Aww... she knows more than she's saying and I say we get it out of her!
JESSIE:
Please, preacher, I'm a good Christian woman. I never done harm to no one.
BUCK:
You're a good Christian, then you should start talking right now, lady!
VIN AND NATHAN:
Calm down, Buck!
NATHAN:
Hold on!
JOSIAH:
Now, he's got the devil in him. Now, it's best you tell me how you came by this gun.
BUCK:
Talk, lady.
NATHAN:
Calm down, Buck.
BUCK:
Let go.
JESSIE:
Some men came here... all riled up and drunk. They made me take that gun instead of money. They said to keep quiet or they would come back and kill me.
JOSIAH:
Thank you for your time, ma'am. Sorry to trouble you.
BUCK:
Where's my hat?
NATHAN:
Over there.
BUCK:
That's it?
JOSIAH:
She ain't going to say no more.
BUCK:
She's lyin'.
JOSIAH:
Yup. Nice little show you put on there, Buck.
BUCK:
Thanks very much, Josiah I learned from the best, you know.
PHILIPS:
You take it easy out there, 78.
GAGE LAWLESS:
How's inmate 46 doing?
CHRIS:
Doc said he's better. You were right. I should have winged your cousin. I was a different man then.
GAGE LAWLESS:
We all were.
SHERIFF:
Now, look here, Warden. We got a little problem. This Vin Tanner and his bunch they ain't going away.
WARDEN:
Aw, Quince-- you can stop worrying. How many times have I told you... I never forget a name.
SHERIFF:
This him? He's a wanted man.
WARDEN:
Ironic, isn't it?
SHERIFF:
What about the others?
WARDEN:
If the others want Chris Larabee back so bad I say we give him back.
SHERIFF:
Give him back?
WARDEN:
In a box.
BUCK:
Nobody in there.
JD:
Deputy's down at the saloon.
VIN:
Well, let's go pay him a visit then.
EZRA:
Y'all are worse than General Sherman on a Georgia plantation.
BUCK:
What?
EZRA:
If I may, allow me to interview the deputy.
BUCK:
Why you?
EZRA:
Don't take this the wrong way, but you gentlemen occasionally lack the essential skills of tact and diplomacy.
BUCK:
What are you saying?
JOSIAH:
I think he's saying we're rude.
EZRA:
Rude? No. Rude would be a definite improvement. I'm saying you scare people. And perhaps terrorizing them won't buy you any answers this time.
VIN:
What have you got in mind?
inmate78/Krude.wav
EZRA:
I believe a little subtlety is in order.
DEPUTY:
So, the gang's breaking up, huh? Well, that's... terrible.
EZRA:
Not really. They're an uncivilized bunch, anyway. Unlike yourself.
DEPUTY:
Well, I guess this Larabee fella wasn't such a special friend after all, was he?
EZRA:
Well... truth be told... we were looking to collect a bounty. Seems Mr. Larabee is wanted for several stagecoach robberies.
DEPUTY:
Dang! I knew there was something fishy about that guy.
EZRA:
Another drink, my friend? More?
WARDEN:
Inmate 78... get over here. You have a talent for making trouble. I don't like that.
CHRIS:
I'll work on it, sir.
WARDEN:
You just spit on my shoes, Inmate 78.
CHRIS:
I didn't spit on your shoes, Sir.
WARDEN:
Are you calling me a liar?
CHRIS:
No, sir.
WARDEN:
Clean it up, Inmate 78.
CHRIS:
I didn't spit on your shoes.
WARDEN:
Two days in the hole or clean my boots, boy.
PHILIPS:
Sir, you put him in the hole again he's going to die.
WARDEN:
Back away, Mr. Philips.
CHRIS:
You clean them yourself, you fat cow. ( screams )
WARDEN:
Eight days in the hole. Take him down, Mr. Philips.
PHILIPS:
I will not, sir.
GUARD:
Don't back jaw me, you understand? You just mind your own business.
WARDEN:
You're fired, Mr. Philips. Get your belongings and clear out. I want you gone by sunrise.
DEPUTY:
"Shot my paw..." "Three-legged dog..." ( laughing ) that's the funniest thing I've ever heard. "I'm looking for the man who shot my..."
VIN:
You call this subtle?
SHERIFF:
What the hell...? I thought I recognized you. Seems you're a wanted man.
VIN:
The deputy here was telling us a very interesting story... about the racket you and your ma got going.
SHERIFF:
Well, he's a stone-cold liar. I don't want any trouble from the rest. I understand how you were conned by this here criminal and none of you knew he was wanted for murder in the state of Texas.
NATHAN:
We knew all about it.
SHERIFF:
Make one move and I'll gun you down.
VIN:
On the count of three.
One.
MAN:
This ain't for me.
SHERIFF:
No. I have a warrant from the state of Texas for this murderer's arrest.
VIN:
Two.
STOREKEEPER:
I ain't here for this Quince.
MAN 2:
Deal me out.
SHERIFF:
Wait just... everybody wait a minute. This doesn't have to end in violence.
VIN:
Three.
( knocking on door )
WARDEN:
Come in. You got it?
( rattlesnake rattling )
WARDEN:
I don't want Chris Larabee to see the morning's light.
( rattling )
GUARD:
All clear!
CHRIS:
( growling ) ( laughing )
WARDEN:
I guess you still got some spunk left.
CHRIS:
You better pray I don't get out.
WARDEN:
Oh, I'll do more than pray.
VIN:
Let's have a look at this little prison of yours.
JESSIE:
Hold it right there. You let go of my boy right now or I will scatter your bones from here to the border.
VIN:
We just want our friend back
JESSIE:
You might as well leave. He's already dead.
VIN:
Is that so?
JESSIE:
You let go of Quince.
JOSIAH:
You don't want to pull that trigger, ma'am.
JESSIE:
I will if I have to. You stay back.
JOSIAH:
Now, you've done a lot of wrong to a lot of people... but it ain't too late to mend your
ways.
JESSIE:
Don't come any closer.
JOSIAH:
We ain't gonna hurt your boy... and we ain't gonna cut him lose. The only thing you're accomplishing is getting him killed. Put the gun down. I have faith that you will do the right thing. You do what's best for your son.
JESSIE:
Go to hell, preacher man.
SHERIFF:
Oh, ma...
JOSIAH:
My faith only goes so far, sister.
WARDEN:
Ever see a man bit by a rattler? His face gets all twisted... muscles lock up. Pretty gruesome sight.
CHRIS:
( grunts ) ( yells )
WARDEN:
I'll bet that hurts real bad, don't it?
CHRIS:
You tell me!
WARDEN:
( grunts ) ( groaning )
GUARD:
Riders coming.
GUARD 2:
I see 'em.
SHERIFF:
Open the gate. It's Sheriff Quince. Me and the posse Got Vin Tanner here. It's the Larabee gang!
GUARD:
Jail break! Jail break!
BUCK:
Take cover, boys! Take cover!
VIN:
Take cover! Sheriff's gettin' away.
SHERIFF:
What the hell are you doing?
PHILIPS:
Sending for help from Fort Yuma. We got a prison break.
SHERIFF:
No! No U.S. Army here.
JD:
Josiah, watch that guy in the tower!
SHERIFF:
Where's the warden?
PHILIPS:
By the hole where Larabee is. But we ain't got time. We need to send For the army.
SHERIFF:
I said no army. Now open that safe.
JD:
I'm right behind you, Buck.
BUCK:
Cover me, JD
( Warden groaning )
GUARD:
Inside! In here! Close the door!
BUCK:
We'll keep them pinned down. You go get Chris.
VIN:
Nathan...
NATHAN:
Right here.
VIN:
Go!
VIN:
You take the back.
NATHAN:
Watch yourself.
PHILIPS:
Where did all this come from?
SHERIFF:
Shut your mouth. There.
SHERIFF:
Shoot him, damn you!
VIN:
Nathan? Nathan... you hit?
NATHAN:
Yeah. But not bad, though.
GUARD:
Coming out!
EZRA:
Throw out your guns!
GUARD:
I ain't got no gun.
BUCK:
Take it real slow, now.
GUARD:
( coughing )
EZRA:
Line up in an orderly fashion. Thank you.
SHERIFF:
All right... die! You miserable bastard! You die now! You...
( gun clicking )
CHRIS:
Looking for me?
SHERIFF:
You... you... god... ( groans )
WARDEN:
( wheezing ) Who... are you?
CHRIS:
Inmate 78.
JOSIAH:
Davis?
DAVIS:
Yes, sir.
JOSIAH:
Adams.
ADAMS:
Right here, sir.
JOSIAH:
Reed...
REED:
Here.
JOSIAH:
Watson...
WATSON:
Here.
JOSIAH:
Simmons. Because you were falsely accused you're free to go. That's all of them.
PHILIPS:
None of us knew about the ransoms.
CHRIS:
Well, you're in charge now. It's up to you to change things.
PHILIPS:
You can be sure of it.
CHRIS:
Boys... let's get the hell out of here. Hyah! Come on!