"Get this thing off me, JD!"
"That's what I'm trying to do, Buck."
"Gently, boy. Gently."
"I'm bein' gentle, Buck. But I got to do this," he said, exasperated. "The website says to run water over its shell and it'll let loose its claw."
"Kid, I don't want to give the goddamned thing a bath. I just want it off my finger."
"Okay!" JD huffed out. "But to do that I have to get your finger under the water."
"But it hurts."
JD stared at him. "Buck, you've been shot before and you didn't bitch this much," he said sardonically. "It's just a little claw, how bad can it hurt?"
Buck glared at him. "You just wait, kid. When I get this thing off, I'm gonna kick you so hard you won't need a ride to work, you'll *fly* there."
JD swallowed hard as he winced and ducked his head.
They finally got Buck's finger under the faucet and the two men watched the luke-warm water running over the little hermit crab's shell. After a moment, the claw released its hold on Buck's skin and JD quickly pulled the crab away, holding it in one hand while he shut the water off with the other.
"Hallelujah!" Buck rubbed his finger hard. "Now give me that damn thing," he said, reaching for the crab. "I'm going to find a hammer and..."
"NO!" JD cried as he cupped his other hand over the one that was holding the ticked-off hermit crab. "It's not his fault, poor little guy. I'm going to put him back in his- OW!" he squealed. "God dammit, that hurts!" JD yelled, pulling his hand away to reveal the big red claw that had a firm grip on his palm.
Buck guffawed, snorting loudly. "Hurts, don't it." He punched his roommate on his shoulder.
"Shut up!" JD sneered at him as he started the water running. "Oh, crap, that hu-" he glanced at Buck and then snapped his mouth shut defiantly.
Buck laughed as he looked sadly down at JD's hand and then back up at him. "Sucks to be you, kid." He shrugged, smirking. "It's just a little claw, how bad can it hurt?" he mocked as he rubbed his hands together in glee. "Guess I should call Chris, tell him we're gonna be 'later' than we thought." Buck smiled merrily at Dunne.
"OW! Dang it, Buck. Help me get this thing off!"
Buck turned away and started for the door. "You been shot before and you didn't bitch this much," he sang out, his voice high.
"Oh shut up," JD yelled. He shook his head as he put his hand under the running water. "Some friend you are!" He looked down at the still-clinging crab. "Ow, ow, ow. Don't know why in the hell I wanted one of these things anyway. Good for nothing little Walking Claw..." he ranted under his breath. He grimaced when he heard Buck's loud voice booming from the next room.
"Chris! Bad news," his best friend exclaimed happily. "JD's got a little bit of a problem..."
The End
